>Beat a random player with a board.
2+1: You have expended your lust for blood. Only pancakes concern you now. You settle for hitting someone with a griddle instead.
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!5-1: You attempt to clock Ex-Nue, but your swing is feeble and dodged. You can't go much longer without pancakes.
> Give the field 250 gold for First Blood
1: Due to an incomprehensible glitch in the system, you are credited with first blood instead! You revive after 15 seconds with 250 extra gold.
> Check if Yukari gave me any powers. She messed around bringing me here, maybe she made me interesting.
3: You decide to test for powers empirically. Perhaps you shouldn't have tried to test for flight first. Ouch. (-1 to your next roll)
>Convert the grassy field into a disco arena and GET DOWN.
3: You attempt to convert the field to a disco arena, but the lighting's just all wrong. Attempting to GET DOWN anyway just makes you hurt yourself. (-1 to your next roll)
Fine then
> Apply camouflage to the walls so people wonder why they can't get over that log in the road.
5: You coat the chest-high walls in an Invisible Paint. Now they are Invisible Chest High Walls! Bahahahaha! (+1 to your next roll)
Activate doomsday waffle!
2: Fool! You can't activate the Doomsday Waffle without first triggering the Apocalypse Pancake and the Cataclysm Muffin!
It's like you've never played this game at all!
>Catch a Misdreavus
1: A Misdreavus catches you. You are now trapped in a poke ball.
Damn it, my flute recital 
> Toss computer screen out the window in frustration, preferrably aiming to hit somebody with it.
1-1: You decide to just toss Windows off your computer screen. You are now running Ubuntu.
> Go on a hunt for objects or people to transmute into lutefisk.
2: Does this look like the Dungeon of Dredmor? No? Then you're out of luck.
>Manifest nuclear powers.
4: You do just that! Man, why didn't you do this ages ago?
You have picked up the level 1 NUCLEAR MODERN ART: I'LL HALF-LIFE YOU.
Well, this wasn't what I had in mind, but hey.
>Use the scale model as a catalyst to conjure an automata construct that has the exact same specifications as the real GP-02.
4+1: You get to work and construct the GP-02! It's pretty rad! (+1 to your next roll)
>Apply Growth power to Purvis, make him Cho-Purvis
1: Your Groovin' Growth surges out of your control.
Purvis must roll to dodge!2: Purvis is now Cho'Purvis, the Gentleman of the Void.
> Con someone for some health
Lol who did I kill already?
6: You decide to con EVERYONE for some health.
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!What? This green is sickening.
>Steal Pesco's Mafia Godfather title.
3: You try to steal the title. Unfortunately you haven't been brushing up on your NICK KNACKS, so this goes nowhere. You also get Lynched for a day.
(-1 to your next roll)
>Encase Eirin, Sakuya and 13 random touhous in violet conversion crystals, to form the nexus of my new violet lantern corps.
2+1: It clearly is a ring of strength, and not a Violet Lantern ring! But what the hell. You try anyway, and instead summon copies of the 13 touhou games, which all hit you on the head. (-1 to your next roll)
> Turn everyone into Ponies
5: You turn everyone into Ponies. You can only sustain such a vast transmutation across so many subjects for a brief moment, however, but you come away enriched with knowledge! (+1 to your next roll)
UncertainKitten:
2: Looks like you forgot to prep Alter Fortune.
UK is seriously wounded!Pesco:
3: Honorable of you not to break out the mindhax. (-1 to your next roll)
rdj:
1: If only...you had...more lutefisk...
rdj has died!PX:
5+1: Ex-Nue's slick talk is no match for your Nephenee avatar.
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!6: You guys simply get caught in a loop and both leave.
Hanzo:
6+1: The tables have turned!
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!6: You two just stalemate.
Sourfang:
3-1: That ring of strength doesn't help you with slick talkers!
Sourfang is seriously wounded!Orin:
6-1: You offer Ex-Nue a zombie spirit instead. The offer is politely declined, so you eat it. (+1 to your next roll)
Phlegeth:
3: Hard to read someone from inside a poke ball. (-1 to your next roll)
Edible:
1: The most delicious life force.
Edible has died!Kasu:
4:
Smashy:
3+1: You hide behind an invisible wall and wait for Ex-Nue to go away.
Marokuu:
4: Nuclear powers, probably not so good for healing.
Shadoweh:
3: obvscum (-1 to your next roll)
Allosawyou:
6-1 Yukari may not have given you powers, but at least you've got the smarts not to get nommed. (+1 to your next roll)
Ran:
3: Foxes are full of nourishment. (-1 to your next roll)
Schezo:
3-1: Ex-Nue's going after you despite flipping town. That's probably a dead giveaway, but you're a bit busy araaarrrgghhghhh to do anything about it!
Schezo is seriously wounded!Remilius:
1: CTRL+ALT+DEL! WHY ISN'T IT DOING ANYTHIIIIING
Remilius has died!Cho'Purvis:
2: It takes a brave man to feed upon the spawn of the void, but apparently Ex-Nue is just that brave!
Cho'Purvis is seriously wounded!Mr. Bob:
5+1: SUBMIT TO THE BOB!
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!6: Nope. Ex-Nue's absorbed enough life force to stalemate anyone, it seems.
Yog-N'yoggoth:
5+1: OR IS IT?!
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!5: Yeah, it really is.
GM Potato:
6-1: After your failure with the armies, you're not taking any chances. You renew your guard as well. (+1 to your next roll)
Desu_Cake:
2: With a name like that...
Desu_Cake is seriously wounded!Amra:
1-1: So young. So discoless. So dead.
Amra has died!Ex-Nue absorbs one hell of a lot of health! (+1 to your next action)
BUFFEDOrin
Allosawyou
GM Potato
Ex-Nue
OUCHEDPesco
Phlegeth
Shadoweh
Ran
SERIOUSLY OUCHEDUncertainKitten
Sourfang
Schezo
Cho'Purvis
Desu_Cake
DEADED(Pesco)
rdj
Edible
Remilius
Amra
PERMADEADED-
