A preview of the Kurumi spamfic which will almost certainly be done tonight, after I find at least forty more remixes of Border of Life. Yes, I am serious.
Three stages, one declaration of "SPRING!", and several hundred dead fairies later
"So, uh... let us in," Reimu said, her clothes slightly torn.
"Yeah, sure," Lunasa replied. "You know, it's that. Around here, when the season changes, the atmospheric pressure... uh, lowers."
"... you're not actually paying attention to what we're saying, are you," Kurumi said dimly, her clothing still smoking from an earlier encounter with Lily White.
"Nobody's telling you to go home," Lunasa continued, seemingly not noticing. "I just meant that there are ascending air currents, you see."
"She isn't paying attention at all," Reimu said to Kurumi, sighing.
Lunasa was standing. Atop one of the pillars before the gates of Hakugyokurou, a bridge of sorts had been hastily erected atop the two closest to the gate, bridging the gap between them. That was where Lunasa now stood, frozen and sounding vaguely mechanical.
"What is she doing?" Kurumi asked.
"You're hurrying too much, sister," Lyrica's voice said, because all of a sudden Kurumi began to doubt that it was actually Lyrica.
Two cardboard cutouts of the remaining Prismriver Sisters began to wheel out to the center of the bridge from each pillar they had been hiding behind. They clunked into place beside Lunasa, who kept droning on as if she were actually there.
Reimu smirked. "I always said I thought the Prismrivers were two-dimensional villains, but this is ridiculous."
"And who is thaERROR," Merlin's cardboard cutout screamed.
"Eh?" Reimu asked.
"An ascending air current," Lunasa responded mechanically.
"Wait," Kurumi murmured.
"Our natural enemy!" Lyrica exclaimed, woodenly raising a hinged cardboard arm.
"Must have just been my imagination," Reimu said, turning her back on the cardboard cutouts of the Prismrivers as Lyrica babbled on, her cardboard figure wobbling slightly in the wind.
BGM: ZUN - Phantom Ensemble - 320 kbps
"Oh, nice music change," Kurumi observed. "Excellent subwoofers."
"I wish my shrine could do that," Reimu said sadly.
Just then--
"There will be a ERROR - CORE DUMP--" Merlin's recording screeched.
"What?!" Reimu demanded, turning around. "I *knew* I heard that correctly!"
"speech:=('PCB Reimu arrival stage four--') ERROR, CORE DUMP," Merlin's recording screamed.
"She's spouting gibberish!" Kurumi said.
"ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR-- speech:=('PCB Reimu arrival stage four@$@$five@$@$six@#$@#ext$@$@pha#$@$-')"
Merlin's cardboard cutout suddenly burst into flames.
"You, however, have no instrument," Lunasa's recording droned on, oblivious.
"SYNTAX ERROR ERROR ERRO---speech:=('PCB Reimu arrival stage f--ph@#@#a@$@$@#nt@$a@#@#$s-')!" Merlin cried in a badly modulated voice, her odd, jerky movements starting to actually worry Kurumi.
The fire spread to Lunasa, and then to Lyrica.
"INIT DEBUG INTERPOLATE RECOMPILE speech:=('PCB Reimu arrival stage pha--') REBOOT" Merlin spat out, before stopping cold for a moment, eyes closed.
"All right... I know Lunasa and Lyrica are just cutouts... but that doesn't look like a cutout to me," she said nervously, pointing at the small mecha in Merlin's guise.
"It isn't," Kurumi gasped.
Suddenly, the robot's eyes flew open. They were glowing red. She resumed her former position as if nothing had happened. A twisted grin crossed Mecha-Merlin's face. She pointed imperiously at Reimu. "Hah! Sorry, I won't be letting you through! Welcome to PCB PHANTASM, Hakurei!"
"SHIT!" Reimu screamed, pushing Kurumi out of the way as fast as she could. "QUICK! Over the gate or we're doomed!"
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Mecha-Merlin screeched as an enormous blue laser materialized in her hand. Her deranged grin widened. "DISREGARD EVERYTHING I JUST SAID! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" She swung the laser around as a sword and blocked Kurumi's passage. But pushed fowards by inertia, Kurumi was going to run right into it--
At the last moment, Reimu let go of Kurumi and slid slightly underneath her, aiming as best she could--
"Hakurei KICK!" she declared, using one of her lesser-known spellcards from SWR. Kurumi went sailing over Mecha-Merupo-Merlin-whatevertheheckshewas' laser and the gate to Hakugyokurou as well.
"Reimuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Kurumi yelled back, her wings finding purchase in the air as she fluttered above the gate. "Come ooonnn!"
Reimu looked at Mecharupo's crazed blue grin, at Kurumi, then back again at the blue laser sword.
"... nah," she said, waving Kurumi away. "This looks like a lot more fun!"
"O--okay! If you s-- say so!" Kurumi stammered, turning around and flying off. She didn't like leaving a friend behind like this, but if that was what she wanted, then what choice did she have?
Besides, she remembered. She had to find Elly...
"KURUMI!" Reimu screamed one last time.
"WHAT?!" Kurumi yelled back.
"ELLY WILL BE IN THE HUGE TREE!" Reimu finished, flexing her arms.
"Ye-- YES!" Kurumi replied as she zoomed up the stairs, leaving Reimu behind to fight PCB Stage ξ・∀・).
For her part, the Hakurei maiden turned to see her opponent, an almost hungry grin on her face.
"YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!" Mecharupo screeched as she swung her blue laser sword down at Reimu.
"Hoo boy," Reimu exhaled, pulling out some spellcards from her back pockets. This was going to be the most fun she had had in a while.
God damn, if I didn't have way too much fun mocking PCB.
\(^o^)/
