I RETURNSo, that Marisa/Tagento story's sorta going well.
I'm lying, of course.
Well, it's not going to hell, but I have one big problem: I'm really crappy at adding detail to stuff. Dialougue? Sure, that's easy. But actually detailing things? Oh, god, I fall apart. Those who believe in the way of the trope would recongnize my writing style as
Beige Prose. I'm just really bad at this kind of thing. Plus, even though Marisa is narrating the story herself, she rarely ever gives her opinion on things, espicially when there's a conversation going on: She usually just sits there and reports what's being said, but she almost never makes some kind of comment on the events around her.... witness (Note that these are first drafts):
Marisa is introducing Tagento to her house.
Inside my house, Tagento admired quite a few of my possessions. "Looks very.....Japanese...."
"That's because it is Japanese."
"How'd a little girl like you get a house like this?"
Oh, there you go with that little girl bullshit again.
"Look, I'm twenty-two. That's a fact."
"But....you look like a ten-year-old......"
"Why? Is there something about me that makes me look so young?"
"I guess it's the hat."
I wondered what he thought about me without the hat, so I took it off. "Well, how about now?"
"Well....you look older and younger at the same time. You look older because you don't have the ridiculous hat on. On the other hand, You appear younger because of your hair and your face....but I must say, you are rather cute, like my....n-nevermind."
I didn't know why, but his comment made me feel better for some reason. I didn't want to admit it, but I blushed a little.
"Oh, sorry."
"It's nothing. I mean it. It's just....I dont think anybody has ever called me cute-well, lots of girls, but no guys....They all think I look like a little girl, like you did."
"Well, you look like a little girl and a grown woman at the same time...but it's that strange contrast that makes you cute." He smiled in a sort of smirk, but it wasn't insulting. He clearly was a person who loved to caustically insult people and rearely hand out compliments.
I was about to say something, before I realized I hadn't told Tagento my name. "Wait, I haven't even told you my name! I'm Marisa. Marisa Kirasame."
"Well, I must thank you telling me your name. I was wondering if you had one at all."
"Um...come on into the guest room."
I led Tagento into the guest room, a room I had furnished with things from the outside world (I picked them up at Rinnosuke's). It was made in case someone from the outside went through the boundary and landed up near my House, which, in case you bothered to read what I had just wrote, had just happened. However, I ended using it as a reading room--hey, don't get mad at me, sofas are comfortable!
As such, it was absolutely packed with books. And it seemed that Tagento really loved books, because as he saw it, he basically had an orgasm. Seriously, he acted like I didn't even exist and bolted for the shelves, and he must've spent at least an hour picking ones off the shelves, putting some back, picking up some more, putting some back....by the time he was done, he had a armful of literally 20 books.
".....So I guess you like books."
"What made you guess?" He said in a light-hearted tone.
I dont know, the fact that you spent an hour picking them out?
"I guessed."
"...It's not use trying to get a straight answer out of you." He pulled one off the top shelf. "But I noticed something. A lot of these are magic books. I mean, magic doesn't exist."
"Yes it does." I deadpanned.
"No, it doesn't-"
"It does. We're going to Yukari."
....That isn't winning any awards. On the contrary, I currently believe that above excerpt would make literay critics want to gouge their eyes out. However, I have a tendency to insult myself and believe everything I do is crap, so maybe I'm overreacting. Well, am I?
