hey guys no new chapter tonight, sorry!!!
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Douchebag in GensokyoChapter 5 Just as she promised, the sun was barely peeking out over the mountains when Fire Bitch kicked me awake. ?Get up, douchebag. We?re moving.? So I said to myself, ?Don?t worry bro, you only have to put up with her shit for a little while longer and then you can get rid of her.?
I wasn?t even completely woken up when we left. So, I tried asking her why we had to leave so early?and she said ?So I can foist you on Princess No-Tits and get back to my daily life.? So I started wondering, you know, what did I do to deserve this treatment? Why was this bitch disrespecting me, even though I didn?t do anything? I said that, too.
It was probably a bad idea because she once again had me by the collar. ?Because you?re a misogynistic, egotistical, annoying little prick who likes to run his mouth and then wonders why he just got the shit kicked out of him. You?re scum. You?re less than scum. You?re so low on the scale they haven?t made up words for what you are, yet.? Then she let go of me, turned around, and continued walking towards Eientei. ?Now, shut up and keep walking, douchebag.?
Our walk continued in silence. Finally, after what seemed like a few hours of walking around in a dense forest, we reached a path cut out of the bamboo. Fire Bitch turned around and motioned down the path. ?Almost there, douchebag. Can you make it, or do I have to carry you?? I thought to myself, ?You can carry my cock in your ass, bitch? but this time I didn?t say it.
After a bit more walking, we reached a gate. It opened up, and standing in front of us was a gray-haired woman in a red and blue dress with these weird symbols on it and a hat to match. She looked like a nurse. Behind her were a horde of what looked like little girls with big, floppy rabbit ears on their heads.
The nurse walked towards us and said ?Mokou.? I guess that was the Fire Bitch?s name, ?cause she replied, ?Yeah. Where?s the whore? Still sleeping?? The nurse lady looked mad, but she tried to hide it. ?You mean the princess, of course.? Mokou shrugged and said, ?Yeah, Princess Whore, whatever. When she hauls her ass outta bed, tell her she?s got a new tenant. You?ll like him.?
And, I dunno, but for a moment I almost started to like Mokou. I kinda admired how she didn?t take shit from nobody. Mokou turned around, clapped me on the shoulder and said ?It?s been real, douchebag. Catch you later.? Then she walked off.
Then the nurse lady started to talk to me. ?Welcome to Eientei, traveler. You don?t look injured, so I presume you?re another outsider brought to our world, correct?? And I sort of nodded my head and said, ?Uh, y-yeah, I?m looking for a place to crash.? The nurse lady smiled and said, ?Well, you?ll find accommodations here, so long as you agree to help out around the mansion a bit.?
I was fine with helping out, so long as it was helping nurse lady out of her clothes and into my bed. Seriously, the bitch was fine, a little on the old side but, you know, I don?t discriminate.
While I was checking her out, nurse lady kept prattling on. ?In exchange for your assistance, we are willing to provide you with room and board, until you can get back to your world or secure permanent residence in the human village.? She motioned towards another rabbit. ?Reisen will take you to your room.?
Apparently I had hit the jackpot, because this bitch was as fine as the nurse lady. She was taller than the other rabbits and had long hair and red eyes. She was also way younger than the nurse lady, and was wearing something that looked like a school uniform. She had rabbit ears, too, but hers were thin and crooked-looking, not floppy like the other ones. She walked over to me and said, ?Follow me, I?ll take you to your room.?
So, as she led me to my room, we chatted a bit. ?I?m Reisen.? I replied with, ?Cool, I?m Bobby.? Then she said, ?Are you planning on staying long, Bobby?? And I said, ?As long as it takes for me to get out of here and back home.? When we got to my room, Reisen opened the door and said, ?Here?s your room. Dinner is at 7:00, and we ask that you get to bed around midnight or so, especially if you plan on partaking in anything we have planned. If you have problems, call for either me or Eirin?she was the lady who you were talking to earlier. Not the other rabbits, they?re a bit?flakey.?
I stepped into my room. It was pretty boring, just a desk and a bed for furniture. But at least it was better than sleeping in the street, or at the Fire Bitch?s place. Then I realized: I had a hot chick in my room. I couldn?t let this opportunity go to waste.
Reisen turned to leave. When I said, ?Hey, wait!? she stopped and turned around. ?Yes?? I leaned on the desk. Reisen was standing in the doorway. I flexed the guns and said, ?So, baby, you ever been with a man before?? She blushed and said, ?Uh, wh-what are you talking about?? I walked over to her. ?I mean a real man. An ALPHA, like me. I could do things to you that you couldn?t imagine.? Reisen was blushing harder, now and shaking slightly. I almost had her. I got even closer to her. She stammered out, ?I?I?ve never been with a man??
I got even closer. I was standing right in front of her. I pushed her against the wall. ?You want to be with a real man tonight, baby??
Then things rapidly declined. All of a sudden, the bitch kneed me in the balls and pushed me away. She yelled, ?Get?get away from me, you pervert!? and ran out the door, closing it as she left.
Struck out again. I cupped my poor, poor balls in my hands and collapsed on the bed. I spent the rest of the night laying there.
