Author Topic: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)  (Read 10949 times)

Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« on: October 19, 2010, 10:12:35 PM »
 Satori and Koishi stared into the gaping mouth of the cave, like the maw of some giant worm. And the darkness stared back at them, almost pitch-black except for a few hanging lanterns. Hundreds of charms hung from the rim of the cave and were pasted on the rough stone walls, designed to ward off evil spirits. Worn, moldy signs written in old Japanese were stuck into the ground, warning of dangerous youkai, evil spirits, and intense heat. The wind howled eerily as it blew through the cave, and Koishi was almost certain she heard mournful wails on the wind.

 Koishi nervously fiddled with the red vein connecting her third eye to her head. ?Satori, do we really have to do this? Come on, can?t we just go back home??

 Satori shook her head, a look of sadness and determination in her half-lidded eyes. ?Koishi, we really only have two options. We can stay where we were and continue to be hated and feared, or we can try and make a new life for ourselves in Hell. I hear the people there are in the same position we are, almost.? She sighed and started walking into the imposing cave. ?Come on, we?ve been through this already. Let?s just get it over with.?

 Koishi turned to take one last look at the world behind her. The bright sun, the lush forests, the blue sky and fluffy white clouds?everything she would never see again now that they were moving into isolation. She dedicated this view to memory, then reluctantly turned back and followed her elder sister.

 The lanterns provided just enough lighting that the two Satoris could see where they were walking, the magical flames making the spiderweb-coated walls sparkle like stars in the sky. Everything around them seemed quiet and dead, but they could feel unseen things in the darkness, scuttling, crawling, watching. They could hear the thoughts of the things in the dark, questioning and probing thoughts.

 Who are they? They?re not human. Those eyes?never seen anything like them. What are they here for? Nobody comes down to Hell anymore.

 With a strange creak, some?thing dropped down in front of Koishi and Satori. They couldn?t fully make out what it was, since it landed in front of a lantern, but it looked like it had six?no, eight legs, and a bulbous body. A giant spider, its body easily as large as one of the two girls. They watched in horrified silence as it slowly walked toward them, its chitinous legs emitting strange, squishy creaks with each movement. Satori couldn?t hear any thoughts from it, at least not over Koishi?s terrified thoughts of imminent death.

 But when it came into the light, it didn?t look like a spider at all. It was a young girl, wearing a black and brown dress that puffed out below the waist to look like a spider?s abdomen. Her blonde hair was tied up with a bun with a brown ribbon. In fact, the only abnormal things about her were the eight huge spider legs that emerged from her back.

 She smiled up at the sisters, looking completely innocent. ?Well,? she said, her voice sweet as honey, ?you?re new here. My name?s Yamame, Yamame Kurodani. Who are you??

 Satori and Koishi looked at each other for a moment, still in shock. ?My?my name is Satori Komeiji,? Satori replied, trying to compose herself, ?and this is my younger sister, Koishi. We?re moving into the Palace of the Earth Spirits further down.?

 Yamame?s eyes widened, and a look of surprise came over her face. ?Ooh! How exciting! We haven?t had visitors here lately.? With a squelching, sliding sound, the legs on her back retracted into her body as she stood on her human legs. The two Satoris couldn?t help but shudder at the noise. ?Well,? Yamame resumed, completely unperturbed by the girls? disgust, ?if you?re moving in, Parsee can show you the way. She guides all the travelers that come down here. Or, at least, she used to, when we actually had visitors.? She stepped to the side, letting Satori and Koishi pass her. ?All you do is follow this path until you reach the bridge, and Parsee will take care of the rest. Oh, and don?t worry about the other tsuchigumos. They won?t hurt you.?

 ?Tsuchigumos??? Koishi asked in a small voice.

 ?Ground spiders. I?m one of them,? Yamame replied, giving a proud smile. ?We control illnesses, so if you ever get sick, just give me a call! Anyway, nice to meet you. Take care!?

 Yamame waved at the two newcomers as they walked down the path, though they seemed a bit on edge. Honestly, Hell youkai weren?t that bad once you got to know them. They just seemed scary at first. Maybe Satori and Koishi would learn that soon enough?

 A sudden thwip, snap, thwip, snap sounded behind Yamame, and she turned to see a bucket swinging on the ceiling, snapping its rope and sticking it back into the stone to move toward the tsuchigumo. When it reached Yamame, it extended its rope a bit until it was eye level with her, revealing a small girl with green hair tied in pigtails sitting in it and peeking over its edge.

 ?Ah, Kisume! I was wondering where you were.? Yamame pat the tsurube-otoshi on the head. ?You just missed our new neighbors. Well, we?ll probably see them again. Come on, let?s get some dinner. I?ll race you!?

 With that, Yamame extended her spider legs from her back, and the two of them raced through the pitch-black, labyrinthine tunnels, searching for lost humans or straggling animals caught in the webs.
« Last Edit: April 05, 2011, 02:17:03 PM by Ammytentacle »
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Iced Fairy

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2010, 04:44:57 AM »
Hm... Interesting.  I'm a fan of the underground, and I love how you portrayed Yamame.  A good reason for the earth spiders to be in the old hell.

MysTeariousYukari

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2010, 02:33:50 PM »
^_^ Omg, this is awesome

Infy♫

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2010, 05:52:48 PM »
so much SA cast...
i wonder why...

Esifex

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2010, 06:05:17 PM »
Because Buddhism is only so interesting and no one cares about faeries or Hatate.

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 10/25)
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2010, 07:50:09 PM »
 Satori and Koishi finally came to the end of the tunnels. The area before them opened up into what they assumed was a huge cave. A pathway lined with lanterns led to what looked like a bridge that stretched off into the distance. The sound of wind chimes danced through the air, echoing and reverberating. What was most remarkable, however, was the array of what seemed to be stars above their heads. A beautiful, moonless night sky, twinkling down at them.

 But that made no sense. Weren?t they deep underground by now? And when they left the surface, wasn?t it the middle of the day?

 ?Hey.?

 Satori and Koishi stopped staring at the sky to see a girl standing in front of them. She was of about average height, with short blonde hair, a pale pink scarf, and a strange dress. Her piercing green eyes glowed in the dim light as they stared down at the sisters. ?Who are you? Have you come to visit the Ancient City??

 Satori bowed politely to the girl, mentally nudging Koishi to do the same. ?My name is Satori Komeiji, and this is my sister, Koishi. We?re moving into the Palace of the Earth Spirits. I assume that you are Parsee? Yamame told us about you.?

 ?Is that so?? The girl cradled her elbow in one hand and bit the tip of her other thumb. ?Yes, my name is Parsee. Parsee Mizuhashi.?

The Palace? Hm. They?ll have such a nice home down there, and they?ll be close to the onis and their parties. I wish I could live there.

 ?Anyway, follow me. I?ll make sure you make it to the Ancient City safely.? Parsee turned around and strode to the bridge, Satori and Koishi following behind her.

 The bridge was extremely long, closed off by a banister on either side. The blockade was lined with lanterns on posts, suspended from which were wind chimes that sang in the wind. The bridge spanned a huge, black chasm, and the whale-like cries of some unseen thing echoed from the deep pit and mixed with the song of the wind chimes.

 As they walked behind Parsee, Koishi broke the silence. ?What are those things up there? The stars? Is there some hole to the surface or something??

 Parsee looked over her shoulder at the younger girl. ?Those are glowworms. They make these sticky traps to catch insects, and the traps glow in the dark. The only way to the surface is back through those tunnels.?

 ?Oh?? Koishi returned to staring up at the roof of the cave, entranced by the lights.

 Another wail came from the thing in the pit. ?What is that?? Satori asked.

 Parsee sighed, turning to look over at the black void instead of at Satori. ?It?s the invisible, green-eyed monster that guards the bridge. The Leviathan. It attacks anyone who tries to cross the bridge without me accompanying them.?

 She returned to looking straight ahead, biting her thumb again. ?Don?t worry, I control it. It won?t attack you while I?m here.?

 Koishi chimed in again. ?But how do you know it?s there if it?s invisible? Has anyone ever seen what it really looks like??

 Parsee suddenly stopped walking. Satori and Koishi nearly bumped into her. ??I have.?

 Satori picked up an image of some?thing. A serpentine mass with several wide, green eyes, teeth all in the wrong places, bony hands and arms with scythe-like claws. And then it changed into Parsee, or someone that looked like Parsee. She seemed just a bit taller, though. Her complexion was a bit fairer. Her eyes were a bit brighter. Her body was a bit fuller.

 ??it?s not something you want to see,? Parsee finally said, then continued walking.

 Finally, they reached the end of the bridge. Off in the distance was what Satori and Koishi assumed to be the Ancient City, a town filled with lights, music, and happiness. The smell of delicious food and the sounds of laughter and song reached them, even from this distance.

 Parsee stared at the City. There was something in her eyes, a simultaneous look of desire and loathing. ?This is as far as I?ll go,? she said. ?The oni won?t bother you. Just go straight through the City and you?ll see the Palace on the other side.? She finally looked at the sisters and smiled at them. They could tell it was fake, a smile formed more out of duty than sincerity.

 ?Thank you,? Satori said, bowing again. ?Please come visit us sometime. We would love to have you.?

 A hint of surprise came across Parsee?s face. After a moment, she said a quiet ?thanks? and turned to quickly walk back across the bridge.

Of course she wasn?t being sincere about it. She just pitied you. Poor, pathetic Parsee, stuck on a bridge with nobody to talk to and everyone to be envious of?

 Satori and Koishi looked at each other, mentally agreeing to invite Parsee over sometime, and started toward the Ancient City.
« Last Edit: October 25, 2010, 10:27:45 PM by Squidtentacle »
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 10/25)
« Reply #6 on: October 25, 2010, 09:44:14 PM »
I can't find words for how well you make these stories.

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 11/2)
« Reply #7 on: November 03, 2010, 03:37:59 AM »
(I wrote this on two hours of sleep. Hopefully it worked out.)

 The first thing that Satori and Koishi noticed when they approached the city was the fact that somehow, deep in the underground, it was snowing. White flakes slowly floated down from the roof of the cave, collecting on the roofs and roads in big piles. Koishi was overjoyed, and she ran into the light snowfall, giggling as she tried catching snowflakes on her tongue.

 Satori couldn?t help but smile at her sister. She knew the move was hard on Koishi, going from the bright surface world to the dark, gloomy underground. It was good that she found something she could enjoy.

 Finally, Koishi caught one of the flakes on her tongue, but almost instantly spit it out. Through her sister?s sputtering and mouth-wiping, Satori picked up a single thought: ash.

 Giggling, Satori put an arm around Koishi?s shoulders. ?I guess that?s to be expected,? she said. ?We are in Hell, after all. Things have to be burning.?

 As they drew closer to the city, the second thing that the sisters noticed was the intense, pungent smell of alcohol that filled the city. Being a city populated almost entirely by oni, it was to be expected. The horned monsters drank sake like it was water, which made their incessant parties even rowdier.

 Satori and Koishi walked down the packed main street of the city, maneuvering between the various youkai with some difficulty. Everyone was drinking, talking, drinking, holding contests of strength, drinking, occasionally fighting, and, most frequently?drinking.

 Loud music from instruments the sisters had never seen before melded with the noise of an endless, rowdy party. Coupled with the drunken thoughts of everyone around them, it was almost more than Satori and Koishi could stand. They moved as quickly as they could, hoping to get out of this noisy place and finally reach the calm of the Palace of the Earth Spirits.

-----------------------

 ?Hey, ?re those satoris over there?? A huge, heavily muscled oni with two curved horns lounged across a chair, chugging sake from a dish as he looked out from the bar at the crowded street.

 ?Huh?? The one-horned female oni next to him looked up from her dish to see Satori and Koishi moving through the dense crowd, dwarfed by everyone around them. Yes, those eyes were unmistakable. They were satoris. It had been a long time since they saw one of those. ?Yeah, they are. Weird, haven?t seen a satori in a long while. Wonder what they?re doin? down here??

 The male oni shrugged, taking another swig of sake. ?Whatever ?t is, I sure?s hell hope they ain?t stayin? around. Damned pain gettin? yer every thought read by them freaks-?

 His grumbling was interrupted by the female oni?s fist suddenly crashing into his face. He lost his balance and crashed to the floor, chair, sake, and all. He sat up, rubbing his face as he looked at the other oni in surprise. ?Th? hell was that for, Yuugi??

 Yuugi calmly drank more of her sake, leaning back on the bar counter behind her. She watched the two satoris with a serious expression on her face. ?Y?know as well as I do that anyone?s s?posed to be welcome here. Just ?cause ya can?t handle someone knowin? the truth about ya doesn?t mean they can?t stay here.?

 The other oni pushed his chair back up, grumbling as he retrieved his sake dish. ?Sure, whatever. Still don?t want ?em anywhere near me.?

 Yuugi sighed, watching as Satori and Koishi finally reached the end of the Ancient City and approached the Palace of the Earth Spirits. ?Some people jus? never change.?
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

MysTeariousYukari

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 11/2)
« Reply #8 on: November 03, 2010, 12:59:59 PM »
I am trying to find a way to incorperate the word Win into the title, and failing. But seriously, this is win. Please keep writing :D

Smallfry

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 11/2)
« Reply #9 on: November 08, 2010, 01:21:48 AM »
I love it. Plain and simple, I love it.
SOMETIMES YA DON'T NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE BEAR, JUST FASTER THAN THE GUY NEXT TO YA

Marokuu

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 11/2)
« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2010, 11:48:05 AM »
Nothing makes me happier than a nice Satori focused story, bonust points for open eyed Koishi  :3
My first attempt at storywriting, looking for critique

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 12/4)
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2010, 07:10:52 AM »
(Yeesh. A whole month without an update. I need to step up.)


 ?Satori? Can we not go there again??

 Koishi rubbed her forehead, pushing away the headache that resulted from the noise and bustle of the Ancient City. Satori put a hand on her sister?s shoulder as they left the city. ?Well, we will have to go shopping for food every so often. I?ll see if we can get the oni to bring us groceries, or something.?

 I don?t want those noisy youkai coming to our house, Koishi thought, looking down at the stone path as they walked. Satori sighed, but didn?t say anything more to her sister.

 As they walked, roses appeared in the fields around them. They didn?t grow in bushes like on the surface, however. These were more like a groundcover, growing on vines as thick as Satori?s index finger. The roses, red as blood, grew from the vines, their numbers growing thicker and thicker as the satoris drew nearer to the Palace of the Earth Spirits, until the ground was a scarlet carpet.

 Finally, in front of them, nestled in the darkest corner farthest from the Ancient City, lay the Palace of the Earth Spirits. It was a huge, dark mansion, made of obsidian and iron and surrounded by that carpet of red roses. Huge stained-glass windows without any designs sat in the walls, and purple lights shone faintly from inside the palace. The entire place was silent and dead, as though everyone, even time itself, just forgot it was even there.

 The sisters stood on the path and stared at the palace in silence for a while. Koishi grabbed her elder sister?s hand, squeezing it for her own comfort but never taking her eyes off the building. After a moment, Satori started off again, but Koishi stood firmly in place. The elder sister turned to face her, tugging her hand gently. ?Come on, Koishi. We went through all the trouble of getting here. Let?s just see what the inside is like, at least.?

 With a reluctant nod and a grim look on her face, Koishi relented and followed Satori up to the palace, still clutching her hand tightly.

 When they reached the huge iron door and pushed it open, a rusty screech sounding from the door?s hinges, the first thing they noticed was the sheer size of the interior. The whole building seemed to consist of a single floor, with the ceiling towering far, far above. The floor was made of dark purple tiles, and towering columns were arranged to hold up the scaffolding supporting the peaked roof high above. The walls were covered in more of those stained-glass windows without any designs, and the entire mansion was dimly lit by hundreds of odd, red-purple wisps of light that lazily soared around the place like will-o-wisps.

 The second thing they noticed was the faint sound of machinery that broke the silence that had been so prevalent outside. The sound was a constant, low, mechanical whirring, like a steam-powered motor.

 After a moment, the sisters finally entered and closed the door behind them. The sound of a bolt sliding into place could be heard as it shut.

 ?So, Koishi,? Satori began, looking around the huge space, ?what do you think of our new home??

 The green-haired satori looked around the room, fidgeting with the vein that attached her third eye to her head as she watched the floating things. ?It?s big. And those things?what are they??

 ?I don?t know. Perhaps they?re the earth spirits?? Satori looked at one of them with her third eye. ?I can?t hear anything from them. Strange.?

 Suddenly, with a low hum, four of the spirits began performing some kind of strange dance in midair. After a moment of graceful bobbing and weaving between each other, the spirits rushed toward the window in the center of the far wall. They disappeared into it, and the surface of the window rippled like water as a pattern emerged on it.

 It was a design of Satori and Koishi, standing next to each other like mirror images of each other.

 The sisters simply stared at the design with shocked expressions. Their thoughts were the same: How did the spirits do that? And why? Could they be accepting the girls as the new residents of the mansion?

 They weren?t allowed much time to think, however, as a heavy knock sounded from the front door of the mansion. Satori turned to her sister, sighing quietly. ?I?ll get it. Stay here, and don?t touch anything suspicious.?

 As Satori opened the huge metal door, she was greeted by a woman easily twice her height standing on the front step. She wore a white shirt and a blue-striped skirt, and a red horn with a yellow star on it emerged from her forehead. Her long, blonde hair reached down to her waist, and shackles with broken chains were attached to her wrists and ankles. She wobbled slightly as she stood there, grinning drunkenly.

 ?Hey, you?re th? new folks, right?? she asked, leaning on the metal door with one hand and resting her other hand on her hip.

 Satori scrunched up her face from the overwhelming smell of alcohol that hung around the woman, waving the air away with her hand. ??yes, we are,? she replied, looking up at the oni in front of her. ?May I help you??

 The oni just shrugged slightly. ?Jus? thought I?d come over an? say hi. The name?s Yuugi. Yuugi Hoshiguma. Nice to meet ya, Miss??

 ?Satori Komeiji. And my sister, who is inside right now, is Koishi. Now, if you?ll excuse me, my sister and I have been traveling for a while and we would like to get acquainted with our new home.? With that, Satori began closing the door, but Yuugi held out an arm to stop it.

 ?Oh, ya need any help with anythin?? Movin? stuff in, or gettin? some food or somethin?? I can help if ya want.?

 Satori?s third eye narrowed slightly at the woman. ?No, thank you. We really don?t need anything.? She tried again to push the door closed against Yuugi?s strength.

 ?You sure? Well, if ya need anythin?, I?m right down the road. Just ask anyone for Yuugi, and-?

 She was cut off by the door closing in her face. Satori made sure to lock it tightly.
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Smallfry

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 12/4)
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2010, 02:44:04 AM »
Satori doesn't like Oni, it would seem.
SOMETIMES YA DON'T NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE BEAR, JUST FASTER THAN THE GUY NEXT TO YA

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 12/4)
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2010, 02:53:58 AM »
Walking up to the front door while intoxicated ain't exactly one of the best ways to endear yourself to someone. Still, it does explain Yuugi's comments on the people living in the mansion being "stuck up". Or was that Suika...?

Smallfry

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 12/4)
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2010, 03:08:14 AM »
Well, I fail horribly at SA, and never made it passed the second stage(on normal), so I never knew that.
SOMETIMES YA DON'T NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE BEAR, JUST FASTER THAN THE GUY NEXT TO YA

MysTeariousYukari

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 12/4)
« Reply #15 on: December 05, 2010, 07:30:16 AM »
Yuugi does call them stuck up alright. I play with ReimuA(Yukari) and Yuugi does say that.

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 1/27)
« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2011, 05:49:42 AM »
(Well, I'm not sure I have an excuse for the delay. But I do know that I wrote this while sleep-deprived, and it's much shorter than it has any business being, considering how long it's been since I last updated. I really don't like how it came out, but it doesn't seem much different from how I've been writing, and since people seem to like that anyway...)

 When Satori turned back to the inside of the Palace, she was surprised to find that Koishi was nowhere to be seen. ?Koishi,? she called, heading deeper into the Palace, ?I thought I asked you to stay put. Where are you??

 ?Over here!?

 As Satori rounded a corner, she saw her sister crouched over a small black cat. The animal had red markings on its stomach and ears, and most notably had two tails that squirmed and curled as Koishi pet it. Satori approached the two of them and crouched next to her sister. ?Ah, it seems you?ve made a friend, Koishi. What?s her name??

 Koishi smiled to her sister, still petting the little cat. ?She says her name?s Rin Kaenbyou. She?s a kasha. Apparently there are a lot of them down here, but most of them stay behind the Palace.?

 Rin meowed at Satori, then leaped up onto her lap and pawed at her third eye. The youkai girl giggled, then picked up the kasha and looked at her. ?Hm?how do you feel about being adopted, Rin??

 Koishi?s eyes suddenly lit up. She clapped her hands excitedly, turning to her sister. ?Oh, Satori, you mean it? We can keep her?? Rin meowed approvingly, nuzzling against Satori?s chest. The pink-haired satori smiled up at her sister, then nodded. ?Yes, it seems we can. She likes you, after all.?

 Koishi enveloped her sister and Rin in a hug, which almost made Satori fall over. ?Thank you, Satori. Thank you so much. I didn?t think we could have any pets down here.?

 Satori just smiled, patting Koishi on the back. She knew how much her sister loved animals. They were the only things that didn?t mind her power, after all. Koishi would collect dozens of pets in their old house, much to Satori?s discomfort, but she became very upset when Satori told her they couldn?t bring the pets with them. ?They can?t survive well in that environment,? she had said.

 But now they could have pets here, and maybe it wouldn?t be that bad. Maybe.

 After a moment, Koishi picked up the kasha and cradled her in her arms. ?Hm?I?ll call her Orin. That sounds good, right, Satori??

 Satori sighed, but smiled as she stood up to scratch Rin behind her ears. The cat purred deeply, thoroughly enjoying the attention. ?Must you nickname every pet you get?? Her hand moved to squeeze Koishi?s shoulder. ?Well, I guess she doesn?t mind it. Why don?t you and Orin go pick out your rooms? I?d like to check some things before we settle down.?

 Koishi nodded, and with a quick peck on her sister?s cheek, she skipped off down the hall with Rin firmly in her grasp. Satori let the smile on her face grow. It felt good to see her sister happy again, after such a disappointing turn of events.

 She looked back up at one of the empty stained glass windows to the left of the one depicting herself and Koishi. Once again, several of the spirits danced together before merging with the blank window. When the surface stopped rippling, the design had changed to something Satori hadn?t seen before.

 It was a tall girl, dressed in an almost-black green dress, with bright red hair, two braids, a pair of black cat ears, and two black cat tails.
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2011, 02:18:52 PM »
(Well, I finally figured out how to continue this, but it required a complete perspective shift. Hopefully it'll make it easier for me to write. Also, suggested listening while reading.)


 A tall girl sat on the balcony of one of the many ruined black basalt towers in that area of the Hell of Blazing Fires. Her legs, wearing black shoes and kneesocks, swung over the edge of the ruined balcony impatiently. She fluttered her large raven wings and played with her long, jet-black hair as her scarlet eyes gazed around the area, waiting for her friend to return.

 The Hell of Blazing Fires no longer lived up to its name. It was a broad, blasted landscape, blackened and dead and lifeless. It was dotted with sinkholes that belched stinking sulfur, and the ground was blanketed in patches of fog. Gray ash fell from the sky like snow and covered the ground in a thick gray powder, and the only signs of life were the glowing white evil spirits that floated around aimlessly and the occasional flocks of hell ravens. The skyline of foreboding black towers that the girl sat among, now ruined and crumbling from centuries of neglect, was the only sign that anyone had ever lived there before.

 The girl listened to the sound of the wind blowing through the towers. It sounded unnatural, however, more like hollow moans and deep murmurs attempting to mimic the sound of whistling wind. It was her favorite sound here, more soothing than the gurgling of the sulfur pits or the groans of the crumbling towers or even the cries of her own species. The slow, flowing voices lessened her anxiety as she waited for her friend to return from wherever she had gone.

 ?Hey, Okuu!?

 The black-winged girl let out a cry of surprise and nearly fell off the edge of the balcony. Utsuho whirled around to see another girl giggling behind her, and her expression shifted from one of annoyance to one of joy at the sight of her friend. ?Orin,? she exclaimed, leaping to her feet and sweeping up the kasha in a bear hug. ?What took you so long? I?ve been waiting for ages.?

 Rin?s ears and tails stood up straight on end when she was enveloped in the smothering hug. Her arms and legs hung limply at her side; she was familiar with Utsuho?s form of greeting, and there wasn?t much point in trying to resist it. ?Okuu?I was?only gone?fifteen?minutes??

 Recognizing that she was suffocating Rin with her overzealous embrace, Utsuho promptly let Rin go, a grin of embarrassment now on her face. The kasha stumbled for a minute and took a few deep breaths, chuckling up at her friend as her tails smoothed themselves out. ?Anyway, I got somethin? to show ya. Ya know that big palace between us and the Ancient City? Well, these two girls?re movin? in, and they wanna adopt us, too. Isn?t that great??

 Utsuho suddenly started hopping in place and clasping her hands together like a giddy schoolgirl, a silly grin on her face. ?Oh! Wow, that sounds cool. Can I meet them, Orin? Huh? Please? Let?s go now, I wanna see them!? Suddenly she stopped bouncing and cocked her head to the side in a distinctly bird-like gesture of curiosity. ??what?s adopting??

 Rin chucked gently, reaching up to ruffle her friend?s hair. ?Adoptin?s like what I did with you. We?ll have a bigger family now, an? it won?t just be the two of us anymore.?

 Utsuho giggled at Rin?s show of affection, but then her face grew more serious. ?But I don?t want a bigger family,? she said, folding her hands behind her back. ?I want to be with you, Orin. We?re happy here, right??

 The kasha paused for a moment, her grin shrinking into a thin smile. ??Course we are, ya silly birdbrain. It?s just?y?know, you see a ton of hell ravens down here, but do you remember ever seein? another kasha??

 Utsuho put a finger to her chin as she scoured her memory for any time she may have seen another two-tailed cat in her life. ??no, I don?t. But what does that have to do with the new people? Are they kashas too??

 Rin just gave a small chuckle, shaking her head slowly. ?Nah, they?re not. Nevermind, it?s nothin?. Anyway, let?s have somethin? to eat before we go over and see them, yeah?? An excited smile grew on Utsuho?s face and she nodded vigorously. With that change of subject, the kasha moved around the corner and produced a large sack, big enough to contain an average adult. When she upended its contents, it turned out that was exactly what it held. An adult human?s corpse flopped out of the sack, landing in a crumpled heap at their feet. Utsuho right away took a seat and started reaching for it, but Rin suddenly whacked the back of her hand with her fingers. ?Now just hold on a minute. You remember what day today is??

 The hell raven looked confused, and her head tilted to the side again. ??today?s the day we get adopted? Come on, Orin, I wanna eat.?

 With a mischievous smile, Rin took a seat next to the corpse and clawed open the abdomen. Once a suitable opening was made, she pulled up her sleeve and started digging through the inside. ?No, though I guess you?re kinda right there. Today?? Finally, she pulled her hand out, which was now clutching the corpse?s spleen. She held it out proudly to Utsuho. ??is your birthday, Okuu. So you get the best part. Happy birthday.?

 Utsuho?s eyes lit up as she looked from the spleen back to Rin. ?Really? I get that part all to myself??

 ?Ah, c?mon, we go through this every year. Just hurry up and eat the damn thing.? Rin wasn?t upset, though, as demonstrated by her toothy grin. As Utsuho took the spleen and started eating it happily, she rested her cheek on her not-bloody hand and just watched her friend enjoy her meal.

 Utsuho wasn?t a particularly clean eater, so by the time she finished she had blood all around her mouth. Rin chuckled and brought a handkerchief out of her pocket, which she used to wipe her friend?s face clean. ?Jus? like a little kid,? she muttered, shaking her head. ?Now let?s eat. Hey, hey, don?t get blood on your shirt! It?ll take ages to clean it out, you know.?
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Kips McKipzerson

  • I never did learn
Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #18 on: April 05, 2011, 02:59:05 PM »
D'awwww okuu

Iced Fairy

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #19 on: April 05, 2011, 03:13:47 PM »
Orin picks the best Birthday gifts. :)

Also I loved your description of the former hell of blazing fires.  Sounds like a nice place to visit (if you didn't need to breathe.)

Marokuu

  • Maru~ Maru~
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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #20 on: April 05, 2011, 07:00:36 PM »
I feel like something is wrong when I'm smiling sheepishly at the thought of Orin and Okuu, with blood all over their hands and mouths, sitting around eating a corpse...

Ah well, I squee'd when I saw this updated and it shifting to the pets certainly isn't a bad thing :)
My first attempt at storywriting, looking for critique

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XephyrEnigma

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #21 on: April 05, 2011, 08:03:36 PM »
Seriously. I love your work. Also, this is probably the wrong place to ask, but are you gonig to continue P.E.M?
Iced-Fairy: "Danmaku is like soccer, except instead of hooligans you get fairies and the riot is before the game." 

My YouTube channel where I often screw about - Latest Upload: IN Border Team Easy Clear

Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #22 on: April 05, 2011, 08:26:47 PM »
Seriously. I love your work. Also, this is probably the wrong place to ask, but are you gonig to continue P.E.M?

I'll be continuing Perfect Maid, yeah. It's just that sometimes I get a ton of inspiration and then a sudden blank on how to continue, at which point I'll try leaping to another story, which is what happened to this one. I'll see if I can keep them at even updates, though.
All lies and all sin, all dreams and all majesty, Everything rots in this ruined hell

[The Perfect, Elegant Maid] [Pathos of the Hated People] [Music, Projects, and Art]

Smallfry

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #23 on: April 08, 2011, 01:41:38 AM »
What a vivid, beautiful (shut up) description of the Hell of Blazing Fires. How do you do it?
SOMETIMES YA DON'T NEED TO BE FASTER THAN THE BEAR, JUST FASTER THAN THE GUY NEXT TO YA

zephyredx

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Re: Pathos of the Hated People (NEW INSTALLMENT 4/5)
« Reply #24 on: April 10, 2011, 04:22:49 AM »
Really like both of your stories. Can't wait til the next update in either one!

Woah is your sig related to this story?
Why is Youmu afraid of Unzan?

Because the things that her sword cannot cut are next to nun!