Author Topic: Marisa's Origin Story  (Read 9111 times)


  • ⑨ Baka Nine
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Marisa's Origin Story
« on: August 09, 2010, 01:57:51 PM »
So I've had this idea rolling around and I'm usually much better at coming up with concept rather then actually writing stories but I thought I would give this one a go since I found it really interesting. This is going to the tell the story of how Marisa got her powers and became the great magician she is today in the first place. It starts with her pretty far away from Genoskyo though, chapter 2 will probably be much more interesting. If your going to critique just do so on the story, I'm well aware my punctuation and other grammatical errors are quite present. I'm not exactly going for writing a novel here xD

CHAPTER 1: The Prequel of the Prequel! or Marisas First Theft!

Location: In front of some creepy house, New Orleans, Louisiana.
Time: 11:57pm
Date: July 17th, 2005.

A 12 year old blond girl, about 5'2",  was stood in front a house. An abandoned house. She was dressed pretty normally, wearing a black hoodie, blue jeans and white sneakers. She had two short dangling earrings shaped like blue stars and was holding a yellow cell phone, that had a similar blue star on the cell phone strap. She also carried a black back pack with yellow trimming, and it of course was also adorned with star straps of various colors.

From: Amy
To: Marisa
Hey Marisa! In Japan this is what
they call a test of courage. You just
go in, grab the yellow scarf with the
star on it, and emerge victorious :D

Mairsa stares at the message on her phone, wondering exactly what the motivation behind going threw all of this is in the first place. But she figured it couldn't hurt, after all she loved the idea of ghosts and scary stories anyway. So she saw this as an opportunity rather then a meaningless task.

"Alright Amy, I'll go along with your stupid little game, may as well get this over with." Marisa smirked and made her way into the house.

She stepped inside the house. The lock had already been torn off by hoodlums in the surrounding area. The neighborhood she was in wasn't exactly known for it's high class people. Inside the house she found her self in a large, hardly furnished room. This house was abandoned after all.  What little furniture there was, was completely covered in dust and cobwebs. She lightly kicked a chair and it fell apart unceremoniously.

To: Amy
From: Marisa
This place reeks. It's not scary
It's just a crummy little hole in the
ground. I was expecting haunted
I'm disappointed :'(

She sent the message and continued up the stairs. There were three closed doors, on closer to her on the right side of the hallway. One further down to the left, and a final one at the end of the hall way straight ahead. She decided to peer into the door on her right. In the room it appeared there was a library with many books still on the shelves. A surprisingly furnished room in this otherwise totally crappy house. Being the book lover she is, she decided to see if there was anything interesting on the shelves, but as she got further into the room, she noticed there were circles with stars with them drawn in what appeared to be copper colored ink all over the walls and floors of the room. Beep beep!

From: Amy
To: Marisa
Lol. I never said it would be glamorous

To: Amy
From: Marisa
Actually. I think I just stumbled upon something
kind of interesting. Maybe this wasn't a total waste
of time after all.

She flipped her phone closed again and headed further into the library. She noticed a table with some books on it. Almost all of them were magic related. She decided to take them with her. She opened her back-pack and threw the books inside. Suddenly she heard the door to the library slam shut. She run the door and tried to open it but it was locked. She tugged and pulled and threw her body weight against it but it wouldn't work. Suddenly the room started shaking and a purple beam of light flew right past Marisa and threw the door creating a gaping hole in everything it crossed. All of the drawings on the floor changed from copper stars and circles to the words "Get out!".  The library's door swung open and she exited the room. She noticed the hallway that used to be there was completely warmed. No longer was there two doors to the right of her. But a wall, and to the left were the stairs that led her up to the hallway in the first place.

She decided to heed the library's advice and  ran down the stairs and out of the house as quickly as she could. When she turned around to look at the house once more, she noticed it was no longer there. In it's place was instead a small slip of rectangular paper with writing she couldn't read. She decided to take this with her as well and slipped it in the pocket of her hoodie.

To: Marisa

It was just blank space.

From: Marisa
That was just blank space.
Are you ok?

Maria's phone began to ring with Amy's name and number on the screen. Marisa picked up the phone but the only thing on the other end was silence, some slight ruffling and audio distortion.  She flipped her phone closed again with a worried look on her face. That was however the last time she had ever heard or seen anything from Amy. The next day when she flipped open her phone to look for Amy's number it was completely missing from her phone.

Alfred F. Jones

  • Estamos orgullosos del Batall?n Lincoln
  • *
  • y de la lucha que hizo por Madrid
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2010, 07:36:47 PM »
... Was the wordfilter to "Ha ha, old chap" intentional?


  • ⑨ Baka Nine
    • Gem Wings
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2010, 08:05:13 PM »
... Was the wordfilter to "Ha ha, old chap" intentional?

No it was suppose to be "el oh el" but I think the site has he filter up to do that :P


  • Yeah that's a very pleasant attitude to have
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2010, 10:54:09 PM »
The writing style is good, and the plot seems interesting!

Please continue!
When a child dies, we call the corpse an ADULT.


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2010, 01:25:46 PM »
The writing style is good, and the plot seems interesting!

Please continue!

Thanks! Heres the second chapter! ^_^

Chapter 2: Toaru Majutsu no Marisa or Mahou Shoujo Kirisame Marisa-Chan

Location: Shinto, Japan.
Time: 8:34am
Date: June 23rd, 2009

After asking around all of Ahkibara and Osaka, Marisa finally found her self in the Shinto region of Japan walking up the longest stone stairs she had ever seen to a shrine that was supposed to be haunted. No one had seen anyone enter or exit the shrine area for years. She expected it to be pretty run down and deserted. She had become obsessed with ghosts stories and magic.

Four years had passed since Amy disappeared. The knowledge Marisa had gained from the boos she took was limited. The magic the books described ranged from completely useless to day to day practical. Not exactly the most exiting of stuff. On top of that, the overall magic she could cast was weak. The best should could manage was to enchant her hoodie to have an inner cooling system, but not enough to use any sort of protection magic on it. So when it got ripped or torn or inevitably replaced, it would become useless yet again.

She had come along on her Dads business trip to Japan. She wasn't exactly sure what her Dad did but she wasn't really concerned with it. Her mom had passed away one year after Amy had disappeared. She took it incredibly well for a girl her age.

When she finally reached the top of the stairs she saw the shrine and a sign to her right that read "Hakurei Shrine, please donate." There was also some strange letters below those words that she couldn't quite make out. She decided to taker the slip of paper that had replaced the house out of her back pack and placed it next to that lettering. It matched!

Suddenly the slip of paper she was holding up vanished as if the sign had absorbed it. She thought it was strange but it's not like she hadn't seen stranger at this point. She pulled out her cell phone in an attempted to call one of her friends but quickly realized  there were no bars on her reception. Despite all of this she continued further into the shrine area. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and gently opened the shrine door

The shrine seemed far to well kept to be abandoned but no one seemed to be home. Over the years Marisa had developed quite the hobby for theft, particularly of books, but also any little trinkets or items that were of interest to her. Typically, she never stole anything of great monetary value as she had no intention of selling these treasures she considered precious to her.

She decided to look around inside the shrine to see if she could find anything of interest to her. She noticed a small book shelf next to a well made futon. It was only one shelf and all of the books were in Japanese. She couldn't read Japanese. She also noticed an octagonal stone that was slightly smaller then her hand with the symbol for yin&yang carved into it. She brushed her fingers over it for only a second and her heart started to race. This was strange, she never got scared when she was about to take something. That made her all the more curious. She brushed her hand across it again. Her heart was going a mile a minute. She finally grabbed it . She felt everything stop.The room she was in practically faded  away. Everything was silent and calm for what felt like ages as she stood there. She felt more comfortable then she ever had in her life.  Then she came back to reality. The stone in her hand was emitting a bright yellow light around her fingers. It got brighter and brighter to the point where she had to close her eyes for fear of going blind.

A weird, indescribable sound was filling the room as the light got brighter. Then it all stopped. The light faded away and the sound faded away. She pend her eyes. She was apparently now sitting down against a wall. Standing before her was a brown haired girl that was clearly Japanese, she was clothed in a red dress that had detached sleeves. It was clearly not from this era. She didn't look happy or mad, or even irritated. She looked completely apathetic.

Marisa quickly stood up. She could feel new energy rushing threw her. The girl clothed in red jolted toward her. Marisa held up the stone and saw a glowing blue circle with a star in the middle and symbols she had never seen before in front of her, much larger then the stone it self, almost as big as her self. The girl in red threw a slip of paper with Japanese writing and a red outline on it at the circle. it disappeared with a shattering sound. A second piece of paper flew toward Marisa landing on her chest. It exploded on impact sending her flying into the wall and shredding parts of her cloths. Marisa quickly stood back up and ran forward toward the girl in red, she then side stepped and jumped in the air sideways. This felt so natural to her now even though she had never experienced anything like it. Once again she held up her stone and aimed it at the girl in red. A blue beam of light shot out of the stone. The girl in red threw down another slip of paper in front of her creating what looked like a glass like wall and sent several more flying Marisa in a single throw.

Marisa hit the ground rolling, avoiding all but one of the slips of paper which she blocked by holding up her stone and yet again summoning her shield. Marisa was breathing heavily at this point. She was becoming exhausted and could barley keep her eyes open. A final sheet of paper landed on her chest, exploding and sending her flying into the wall yet again. She completely lost consciousness.

As she fell to the ground, she smiled thinking, "Heh, guess I lost. Good game."

It's not over yet though, look forward to chapter 3!
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 01:28:42 PM by Neonie »


  • ⑨ Baka Nine
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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #5 on: August 11, 2010, 01:40:01 PM »
Chapter 3: Marisa Beats! or Accepting Your True Self!

It was dark and dry, there was no light to be found. There was blackness all around but she could clearly see her self. It was as if she was in a spot light. She started walking forward, and then in a different direction, and then another, it was apparent she was getting no where this way. "Am I dead? Is this hell?" She thought out loud. She stood still for a few seconds before realizing it wasn't as if the darkness would really answer her thoughts.

Suddenly before her was the same glowing circle that had served as her shield in the previous battle against the girl clad in red. She reached out to her shield. It was warm, it's glow was incredibly pleasant. She stretched her arm further out and put her inside of it. "Hakkero," she thought. It had a name, the name of the stone she picked up was Hakkero. She finally understood where she was.  She opened her eyes.

She found her self laying in the futon back in the shrine. Laying to her left stacked neatly were: her shredded cloths, a black dress, Hakkero, and a note. She picked up the note and read it:

Don't be alarmed when you see me,
come out of the bedroom when you wake up
and I'll explain things from there

Marisa got up and put on the black dress. She was surprised, it actually fit her perfectly. She noticed that despite it being June, and despite the sign of no air conditioning anywhere, it was a very nice cool temperature. She couldn't quite place why but there seemed to be a nostalgic air about it. It felt as if she had been here many times before even though she had never seen this place before. She quietly slide the door in front of her open to see the girl in red drinking tea from an oddly shaped cup. She was sitting on the ground in front of a low standing table on her knees wearing the same expression she was when she first saw her.

Marisa sat at the opposite end of the small table and tried sitting on her knees as best she could. It was incredibly uncomfortable. There was a cup of tea sitting at her end of the table as well, she held it up trying to imitate the posture of the red clothed girl and sipped the tea. It was very warm and had a small hint of what tasted like oranges. The two girls sat in silence drinking tea for about 2 minutes before one of them spoke.

"It's strange isn't it?" The girl in red spoke up. "My names Reimu, by the way."

"What's strange? My names Marisa, ze." She smiled and sipped some more tea.

"You had two of my charms hit you, you got slammed int the wall twice, your cloths got completely shredded and destroyed, yet here you are sitting at my table, completely unharmed drinking tea. Not a scratch on you."

"Now that you mention it I guess it is slightly strange." She hadn't even thought about it, actually.  That she was alive, now, drinking tea with a smile on her face, was so fabulous it didn't really need an explanation.

"The place your in now is called Gensokyo. The world out of these shrine doors is completely different from the world you used to know.  The stairs you walked up to get here don't even exist in Gensokyo." Reimu took another sip of her tea, thinking what to explain next. This kind of thing didn't exactly happen often.

"Is that so?" Marisa fiddled a bit with her tea cup and smiled.

"The stone you picked up unlocked magical energy that had been sealed in you for years. Most humans have a very standard type of energy they can only render threw actions, but without a physical form. Magic energy is different in that it can be rendered and used in many different ways then standard energy. The hakkero you picked up doesn't have to use your own energy to work, but can be powered with mushrooms, however you have to already  have magical energy flowing threw you. The mushrooms greatly reduces the ammonium of energy that you use when yo use it, however, you still still be using some of your own energy with each command. I'm surprised you were able to last so long on just your own energy, even after I broke your shield, and then you somehow managed to render the shield not once but twice!

It turned you into what normal humans would call a witch. The fact you have magical energy and would up at the shrine and Gensokyo is no coincidence. Gensokyo naturally attracts these sorts of things. We're sitting in the barrier between heaven, hell, demons, angels, ghosts, each of the four seasons, and even aliens and moon dwellers. It was created to conceal these things from the outside world. Seeing a witch here won't even make anyone do a double take."

Marisa was listening intently. She was taking all of this incredibly well. She was always good at accepting things well, she didn't like freaking out over things that couldn't be help. Reimu didn't seem like such a bad girl after all.

"The first thing your going to need to do here is get some cloths that won't be ripped to shreds in a fight like the ones you were wearing before.  South east from here is a house that's owned by a girl named Alice who is good at sewing and making living dolls. She could make you some proper cloths that don't fall apart so easily but she won't do it for free, you will probably have to repay her somehow."

From there Reimu explained how people in Gensokyo like to spar with each other, how wounds heal faster here then in the real world and how you could die if someone continued to attack you after you had been knocked out, and also how that was pretty unlikely.  Things from there turned into normal conversation between girls, mostly they talked about each others past.

Marisa decided to spend the night before rushing off to Alice's house. She had a lot to think about and was anxious to see what tomorrow held. Most importantly, she was glad she was going to sleep tonight and not be slammed unconscious into a wall.


  • Yeah that's a very pleasant attitude to have
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #6 on: August 11, 2010, 10:50:04 PM »
Heheheheh... It's really nice.

But Marisa's stoicism is bugging me a lot. That's not like her.
When a child dies, we call the corpse an ADULT.


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #7 on: August 12, 2010, 03:47:22 AM »
Heheheheh... It's really nice.

But Marisa's stoicism is bugging me a lot. That's not like her.

You think she should be a bit more random/sarcastic? If you give me an emotion I'll gladly try to incorporate it into the rest of her dialog/actions. Right now I feel like I'm kind of imposing my self to much on her, so aiming for something different would make me feel better actually.


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2010, 12:15:06 PM »
We now interrupt your regularly scheduled Marisa origin story with a special report coming to you live from the Lunar Defense Corps auditorium ship. This side story may have at least one more chapter of it's own, maybe more. In the end it will reveal a piece of information not revealed in the main story line. It's basically an arc I set up as an exercise for my self to practice writing more action oriented scenes. I've never been good at doing them so I wanted to get in some practice before Marisa gets into any tougher scraps. Here we go!

Chapter X1: Aegis! or Bunny Bunny Bash!]

"This is the most advanced piece of technology the Lunar Defense Corps has come up with. She can calculate exact locations and disable security systems in fractions of a second. She can summon more magic energy then over one thousand magicians into various forms and weapons. Shes equipped with the latest cybernetic and nanotechnology advances." The man speaking looked to be in his middle ages. He was holding his hand up to center stage, the star of the show.

Standing on center stage in a spot light was a girl, about 5'6 with short professional looking purple hair and bunny ears. She was wearing the outfit of a school girl and was near expressionless. She was trained to be composed at all times. If she was nervous, she would show no signs of it. If she was scared, she would show no signs of it. If she was happy, she would show no signs of it. Letting your enemy, or anyone for that matter, know what she was thinking was a failure on both her and the Lunar Defense Corps part. This wasn't about her, this about showing the audience what the the LDC had accomplished and she would make sure she got that point across. On the sign behind her was a power point slide:


The man walked off stage the buzzer for the demonstration sounded. A bullet proof glass wall lowered, cutting the audience off from the stage but still allowing them to see everything going on inside. For those having trouble seeing there were also T.V.s stationed in strategic parts of room recording the event.

Hand fulls of human shaped metal robots stormed the stage guns in hand and began shooting directly at Reisen. She was no longer in the place their bullets were aiming however, she had hoped off the glass wall into the air and summoned two rainbow colored pistols and began shooting each individual bot in the head with %100 accuracy. With the bots auto adjusting to her location, the bullets still pouring in from every angle she hit the ground rolling and summoned the blade of a blue sword. She didn't even bother with a hilt. She ran straight for a group of bots and did a swipe that extended the blue blade so as to take each bot in the group out with a single swipe.

She used the explosion created by the now defunct group of bots to proper her self in the opposite direction putting her in the air once again. She landed with another roll, this time summoning two smaller blue blades and taking out all but one bot in the group. She disarmed the bot threw it to the ground and opened the middle panel. She stuck out her hand and summoned a a small blue shield small then her hand and blocked each individual bullet as she typed in a long combination of numbers and letters into the bots control panel shutting it down.

Steam started pouring out of the floor of the stage and up rose a gigantic bot that had to have been over 10 feet tall and just as wide. It shot several missiles out of it's chest, Reisen stock both of her arms out creating a half blue shield protecting her entire body. The missiles hit the shield from every direction, exploding in front of her but causing no harm to her.

Right below the gigantic bot was a group of smaller bots continuing their shooing at Reisen. She ran as fast as she could could side stepping and dodging the bullets flying at her without so much as using her shield. She jumped up on one bots head  summoning one of her blues knives into it?s head immediately jumping off  useing the explosion it caused to propel her self upward. She used the momentum to run the rest of the way up the gigantic bot and jumped about 5 feet higher then where it stood. She summoned another blue blade about the size and shaped of a katana and let her self fall with it, slicing right down the middle of the gigantic bot until she reached it's stomach, she then put her feet on the crotch and back flipped out of harms way of the explosion that was sure to cause. It wiped all but one bot that standing behind her as she faced the crowd. She punched it square in the face causing it to implode.

The glass lifted and the crowd was silent. Reisen bowed and walked off the stage. Everyone cheered. it was a huge success. The middled age man who gave her introduction walked back on stage.

"Thank you. That will be all for today."
« Last Edit: August 12, 2010, 12:16:57 PM by Neonie »


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #9 on: August 16, 2010, 02:29:55 PM »
We return to your previously scheduled Marisa Origin Story.

Chapter 3:Benny Hill Ain't Got Nothin' on me! or Alice in Dollywood Wonderland!

In a large clearing in front of a house in the Magical forest were several groups of very similar looking dolls. They almost looked like real girls but had very subtle stitching in places. They are about a half-foot high with a blue dress, an apron a bow in the front and a bow tying their hair in the back. Each one seemed to have it's own personality, and they all hung out in groups of around four of five. Some were playing miniature instruments, some were telling each other jokes, some were drinking from miniature cups of tea.

On the porch of the house were two chairs, a table with several more dolls buzzing around sweeping, dusting and doing various other things. In one of the chairs was a rather bored looking girl  with short blond hair wearing a blue dress with a red ribbon belt, a red bow and headband and blue eyes named Alice sewing several pieces of cloth and fabric together to make another doll.  Two dolls on the table watched her sew while sitting very quietly on their knees. About 10 minutes passed before Alice set the doll down on the table. Alice tired a red ribbon to the front of the doll in a bow shape. The doll stood up in a robot manner and was at attention.

"Raise your left arm." Alice said to the doll. The doll extended it's left arm and held it there without hesitation. "Now lower your left arm, put your hand on your nose, hop three times and spin in two circles." The doll did so without skipping a beat. It took every command Alice threw at it without ever asking why. Alice nodded and tied the second ribbon to the back of the dolls head. The doll dropped it's robotic expression and suddenly looked quite tired and started clinging to one of the arms of the other dolls on the table.

"Welcome to life, 782."

782 nodded sheepishly and rubbed it's head against the arm of the other doll, "Thank you."

Alice looked at the other doll she was leaning against, "You're taking this quite well 35."

The other doll rubbed the head of 782, "Shes cute, I guess I'm just picky sometimes. She doesn't get on my nerves like that damn 16."

Alice sighed, "Ah..ya 16. Shes just..."

Before Alice could finish her thought she noticed a long haired blond girl walking across the clearing. All of the other dolls stopped what they were doing and watched her as she walked, as well as Alice and the dolls on the porch. Marisa felt chills down her spine as that many eyes stared at her. This didn't exactly feel like a very inviting environment. Alice took another sip of her tea as Marisa approached her.

"Hi!" shouted Marisa as she sat in the chair across from Alice. "Reimu sent me here, told me you could sew some cloths that wouldn't get torn or something like that, man this place is kinda weird huh? You look like a go-"

"Shut up!" screamed Alice as she stood up. "You just barged into my yard, sat on my chair without asking, scared the crap out of all my Shanghai, and then you have the gall to ask me to sew you cloths?!" Alice was fuming, she grabbed Marisa out of the chair and weakly tossed her toward the yard, though it was really more of a tossing motion as Marisa didn't go to far and was still on her feet afterwards. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

Alice held her hands out with her fingers spread. Silver rings appeared on each finger with strings attached that connected to the Shanghai around her. She moved her fingers into various positions that seemed to tell each doll where to go. She made a formation of 10 shanghai in the shape of  two triangles. The shanghai floated in the air in their formation, they were all now holding weapons of various shapes and sizes, some of them even bigger then the shanghai them selves. The most common weapon was a silver drill shaped polearm.

Marisa took a few steps back into the clearing. "So while your still in a good mood," she yelled smirking. " I thought I might as well ask, how 'bout them cloths, ze?"

One of the dolls with a polearm flew at Marisa. She quickly waved her hand holding in the Hakkero in front of her and then to her side forming her shield. The doll hit the shield and bounced off.  Marisa was prepared this time. She had charged her Hakkero with mushrooms, her magic was stronger and she knew she wouldn't go down as easily as last time. She spun her Hakkero in the air and grabbed it waving it in front of her twice shooting two blue beams at Alice. The Shanghai around her quickly blocked the shots and the other Shanghai charged toward Marisa.

Marisa jumped out of the way of three Shanghai and rolled on the ground trying to stay on her feet, she wasn't really used to all this nimble movement. She blocked one Shaghai coming at her with her shield and side stepped another coming at her with a hammer. She elbowed the one coming at her with the hammer and it slammed into the ground.

"Look I really don't want to hurt you or your dolls, I just want some cloths!" Marisa pleaded. "I'll even work for them if I have to, god everyone here is so jumpy."  2 more Shanghai rushed toward Marisa. She dodged the first one to the left, and the second to the right. She grabbed the second one that charged her by the stomach and held it like a dart, she tried throwing it back at Alice but it stopped after about a half second and looked furious and started waving it's polearm furiously at Marisa.

"You big stupid meanie head dirty rotten dummy!" Yelled the shanghai that Marisa made upset as she hit Marisas hands  that were guarding her head with the blunt part of the polearm. "How dare you touch me, you have no decency you big brutish...." she kept throwing insults at Marisa as Alice laughed her head off at the now quite amusing spectacle.

"Ahhh god I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so touchy, ze!" Marisa yelled back at the Shanghai as she ran for her life away from the doll swinging it's polearm unintelligibly in Marisa general direction. "Hey if you stop chasing me I'll.. um.. what do dolls like? I'll buy you a miniature crepe or something!"

"You think I can be bought?! You violated me you fat blond..." Alice sat back in her chair at the porch and sipped some more tea as she watched Marisa get chased around the clearing, all of the Shanghai around the yard were cheering the yelling Shanghai on. Alice began sewing some black fabric while watching the show. Marisa eventually got tired and passed out in the middle of Alice's clearing while being hit in the head with the blunt end of a drill shaped polearm.

When Marisa woke up the next morning on Alice's porch, she noticed some black cloths and a hat with the a white bow tied to it laying next to her. She also had one hell of a headache. "Oh man," Marisa put her hand on her face and rolled over onto her stomach, "I feel terrible."

"Good morning errand girl. I decided to knit your cloths after all, but your going to be paying me back for them by going to scarlet devil mansion to pick up more enchanted cloth and ribbons, a girl who spends her time in the library there does the enchantments and I need them picked up. It's a long way from here, so I thought I would have you do it since you seem to like barging into places you've never been before and demanding things."

"Oh boy I can't wait to walk all over Genoskyo and get my ass kicked again today, hooray!" Exclaimed Marisa as she stood up rubbing her head. She took the hat off the pile of cloths and put it on. She noticed a red ribbon laying on the rest of the cloths. "What's this?" asked Marisa as she started to put the rest of the cloths on in front of Alice as if it were nothing.

"The ribbons are what's tied to the Shanghai, it's a little extra payment for helping me out and putting on such a funny show last night." Alice said as she looked away from the now dressing Marisa. "The first ribbon is to make something follow your commands, it gives a previously inanimate object movement. The second ribbon gives it thoughts, emotions, reason. It essentially gives it a soul."

"That's neat, ze!" Marisa had finished dressing. She was now wearing a black dress with a white apron tied to the front covering the midriff, white puffy shirt underneath with short sleeves and a short black button down vest over that along with her new hat. The dress had white ruffles at the bottom. Marisa spun around in front of Alice. "How do I look?"

"Like a witch."

Alice called a Shanghai over to her and started explaining one final thing before Marisa set off. "This is Shanghai 16, it's going to accompanying you on your way to get the stuff. Shes there to sort of make sure you don't get lost or try to run away. Gensokyo is a big place so don't wander anywhere she doesn't say to go. The Shanghai have been here a lot longer then you, and this one in particular has been here for quite some time, so your to follow her orders got it."

"Loud and clear hime-sama, I will follow your and her every command hime-sama. How high should I jump hime-sama?" Marisa mumbled to her self as she walked back into the magical forest with Shanghai  16 on her shoulder.
« Last Edit: August 16, 2010, 04:05:53 PM by Neonie »

Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch

  • The return of something
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2010, 03:00:04 AM »
I LOVE it!  Keep up da nice work~


  • Though the sun may set
  • *
  • It shall rise again
Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2010, 03:57:14 AM »
I'm loving the 'Rocky and Bullwinkle'esque 'episode' naming convention. That's awesome XD


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2010, 06:13:20 AM »
Sweet, I'm glad to know people are reading it! That makes me exited to work on the next chapter :)


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2010, 06:05:35 PM »
Chapter 4: The Lost Woods or Magical Mishaps.

"So then I was telling her.. .and then she said to me... and then Alice was like.. and everything was like yooooo." The Shanghai on Marisa's shoulder hadn't shut up since she went into the forest. It talked on and on about nonsense. Marisa kind of thought of this as some sort of sick joke by Alice.

Come to think of it, this whole place seemed kind of like a joke. Here she was in a witch costume with a miniature talking girl on her shoulder, she just happened to be the holder of some "magical" power and was no walking around a giant land other people couldn't see on what could best be described as a fetch quest. The next think you knew the Shanghai on her shoulder was going to say something like...

"Hey, Listen!" shouted the Shanghai on Marisa's shoulder. "I think I ju-"

Marisa took the Shanghai off her shoulder, set it on the ground, and started walking away.

"Heeeeeeey! What was that for." The Shanghai began flying next to Marisa as she kept walking. "Anyway I think I just heard some little girls laughing, there are fairy's in this forest that like to make people get lost, you should be weary of them. There are also other dangerous things like crows and firefly's."

"Since when are firefly's and crows dangerous, I could just blast them with magic , ze!" Marisa held out her Hakkero in front of her.

"Um.. I don't think these are the same kind of firefly's and crows your thinking of. Also I was wondering why you hold onto that Hakkero. Wouldn't it be easier to use magic with your hands free?"

"I can use magic with my hands free? This Hakkero is the thing that gives me my powers isn't it?"

Shanghai shook her head. "You should be able to use Magic as long as the Hakkero is on you in some way. The apron your wearing isn't just for show, it has a magic pocket you can store stuff in if you need too. Put the Hakkero in your pocket and let's try some stuff out."

Marisa put the Hakkero in her pocket and broke a twig and put in next to a tree in the direction they were walking so she didn't get turned around. The space around them was clear enough that they could both move freely. The first thing Shanghai told Marisa to do was stick her hand out in front of her and picture the shield she usually used the Hakkero to create and try to use the same energy she would of she were really trying to create it. The shield appeared before Marisa.

Shanghai flew over to the shield and took a small silver stick out of her apron putting it inside the shield. "Electricity seems to be what your magic is mostly made out of. Next your going to need to grab both ends of your circle and pull them apart. make sure you stay focussed on the circle or it'll disappear before you get the chance."

Marisa tried to grab both ends of the circle and pull them apart. As she moved her hands away from the circle it distorted more and more into what was clearly electrical current. It made some crackling sounds and circled around her before disappearing completely.

"It's going to take a while but eventually you should be able to manipulate that circle into any shape you wish Here take this and flick it up in the air and pluck it away." Shanghai took a small coin out of her apron and handed it to Marisa. "Try to focus that same electric energy you usually use for your blue beam."

Marisa flicked the coin and it spun in the air, when it dropped down to her fist she used her thumb to pluck it away. It sparked, flew a feet with an electrical current behind it and hit the ground unceremoniously. "What was that supposed to be, ze?"

The Shanghai smirked. "Well I guess you're no railgun huh? Anyway, we should get going before we get lost." It floated over Marisa and sat on her hat. To Marisa's surprise she was almost completely weightless no matter where she sat. These dolls had such human characteristics yet no weight.

A decent amount of time passed and was starting to become nightfall. The Shanghai had since taught Marisa how to manipulate her magic into a small orb that she could use a flashlight in the dark.

"Hey didn't we pass that tree before, that's the same twig from the clearing before, ze! Are we going in circles? We've been walking in one direction the whole time." Marisa was confused and angry.

"I told you those fairies liked to make people get lost before remember? The only way we're going to get out of this loop is if you stop them." Shanghai whispered to Marisa so the fairies didn't hear her. "Their illusions are never perfect, there are three of them and they don't work very well as a team. Pull your shield out and stay quiet and listen for them. When you hear where their coming from, ZAP!"

Marisa did as Shanghai said and rendered her shield in front of her and closed her eyes so she could better hear were they were coming from. It was almost completely silent aside from her and Shanghai's light breathing. Threw her shield she could sense her own magic and Shanghai's, she tried to widen the area of magic she could sense...nothing. She tried a little further...nothing. Just a little more...there!

Marisa grabbed her shield manipulating it into several bolts of electricity and threw them at a group of trees to her right. The bolts dashed and zapped all over the places finally finding their target. A girl with a black, hime style haircut dressed in blue with a big blue bow fell to the ground. Marisa dashed toward the small fairy and grabbed her.

Another fairy with a red dress and hair dashed out of the forest, her fist was on her fire and she was charing toward Marisa. "Let go of Sapphire!" She yelled as she threw a flaming punch at Marisa who quickly used her free hand to summon her shield blocking the punch. She looked more irritated the angry. "You should just let her go and we'll uh...leave you alone ok? You can continue on your quest threw the forest or whatever we were just having some fun."

Marisa smirked. "Lead us threw the forest to the lake. Or I zap all three of you got it?"

"Fine!" The red fairy screamed, starting to get a little angry now. "But let go of Star Sapphire. My names Sunnymilk ,and that over there is Luna Child." She pointed to another fairy half hiding behind a tree in a white dress with several bows. "Damn it's so unlike Star to be the one in trouble."

Marisa set Star down and apologized. Now looking at the three fairies in front her, they appeared to be about half her size, and all flew and floated threw the air with ease. Marisa could now scratch off  "fairies" as one more magical supernatural thing she had seen in Gensokyo.


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2010, 02:11:04 PM »
I'm diverging from the canon a little here you can see, as Mystia doesn't have wind powers OR a weapon usually. I am following the canon to a certain degree in this story but I'm also diverging from it if I want since it's not really necessary here. Next chapter is going to stray pretty far from it anyway.

Chapter 5: Twister or V for Marisa

The night passed with Marisa and the three fairies making camp. Shanghai had some camping equipment in her apron and the fairies had some food on them. Marisa managed to somewhat befriend the three fairies and they decided to help her out of the forest by their own will. About four hours after walking into the forest everyone got deafly silent . All you could hear were some birds over head and the cracking of twigs beneath everyone's feet. Even Shanghai had uncharacteristically gone silent . The three fairies seemed to be walking very cautiously and Shanghai's small hands were clinging tightly to the shoulder cloth of Marisa's dress. The atmosphere was driving Marisa insane, it was everyone knew something she didn't. After a while even the sounds of the birds and twigs had stopped, she couldn't hear them anymore.

"Right up ahead, there are three of them. One is walking away, one is laying down and one is just standing there." whispered Star. "Their in our way, I don't think there is going to be anyway around this. Shit the standing one spotted us. Get ready!" The three fairies ran behind Marisa and Star grabbed Shanghai off her shoulder.

"Hey what the-" Marisa started to say as a guest from overhead descended down toward them. A girl clothed in brown  with black dress shoes, purpled rimmed wings and an oddly shaped feathered hat was coming down from the top of the forest. She was brown pole that was lighter in color then her cloths and about as long as her. "She looks like something out of Greek mythology." Marisa thought.

"My name is Mystia, what business do you have here?!" The girl in brown, Mystia, shouted.

"We were just passing threw." Marisa explained. "I need to get threw the forest to the lake."

"I don't buy that at all," Mystia snapped back, " There are five of you, three of which are fairies that don't normally hang out with humans, and a little weird doll thing that is moving sentiently."

"Hey I'm not weird!" Shanghai shouted back. "Besides, your a night sparrow, aren't you supposed to be asleep at this time of day?"

"I was asleep!" Mystia yelled. "That that drunk fool came shouting and tumbling and singing nonsense in the middle of the forest at this god awful time of day.. You know what? I don't even care what your up to, I'm gonna knock you all unconscious so that I can go back to sleep. This whole conversation is giving me a headache."

Mystia spun the stick around her head with it ultimately winding up behind her back, she stuck her palm out and caused a gust of wind to surround Marisa and the others. The wind and leaves spun all around them. She jumped off the ground and flew toward Marisa swinging her pole at her head. Marisa ducked the attack and began forming a small electrical ball behind her back like Shanghai had taught her too.

Mystia turned back around and did another swipe only to wind up with her back toward Marisa without any explanation. Marisa threw the ball of electricity at Mystia, but the pole she was holding absorbed the shock. Marisa quickly realized this and ran up behind Mystia as she was turning around and grabbed her pole, throwing her to the ground. Mystia hit the ground and immediately got back up and threw a punch at Marisa. Her fist didn't make contact but she didn't mean for it to. A large gust of wind came out and was so strong it slammed Marisa back against a nearby tree. The three fairies and Shanghai all gasped and covered their mouths simultaneously.

Marisa stood up and balanced her self against the tree. She noticed the pole was still on the ground next to her and quickly picked it up seeing Mystia rushing towards her yet again. She stuck out her hand and summoned her shield as Mystia tried to throw another punch. Mystia wound up turned around again.

"What the hell is goi-" Before she could finish her sentence she felt a large bolt of electricity at her back and found her self flying into the ground several feet away. Mystia was out cold.

"Woooooooo!" Yelled Shanghai excitedly as she flew around Marisa and began emulating everything that happened. "You were so cool! Mystia was all like, 'slash' and then you were all like 'zap' but then it got blocked and Mystia was all like 'punch' and everyone else was all like "OH NO!' and then Sunnymilk kept making Mystia get turned around and it was aweeeesome!"

Marisa put her hand on the back of her head, "Haha, oh come on. Well I guess it was my first victory, ze! Ya I can totally do this." She smiled and put Mystia's pole back next to her.

The group headed off into the forest following the laying body Star had mentioned before. When they got to it a small girl in a blue dress with a white shirt and black belt was laying on the ground. She had cuffs on both her wrists and ankles with chains attached to all of them and various shapes attached to the ends of the chains. She had horns on her head, one adorned with a large purple bow and one wrapped with what looked like white tape. She was holding an oddly shaped purple bottle with yellow in-sigma on it. The group felt it was best if they left alone and continued on to the edge of the forest were Marisa and the fairies partied ways. The lake was just a bit further, and the fairies needed to get back home.
« Last Edit: August 20, 2010, 02:33:27 PM by Neonie »


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #15 on: August 21, 2010, 06:45:52 AM »
Chapter 6: The canon is a lie or Cirno-Nee Chan

A slightly depressed looking girl with short light blue hair in a big blue bow darker then her hair was sitting with her back against the trunk of a tree quite high up in the air. She wore a simple blue dress with white rimming and had wings detached from her the shape of diamond ice. A girl in a similar but slightly simpler blue dress was sitting opposite her on another branch, she had darkish green hair with a side pony tail and wings that resembles that of an insect. She looked quite a bit happier, content. The girl with ice wings was freezing bugs and watched them fall as they flew by.

"Daiyousei, doesn't it upset you to see me freeze your comrades?" The blue haired girl asked.

"They aren't my comrades. When have they ever helped me? Ever played with me? They just fly there, completely useless. Cirno you..." Dayousei didn't have a chance to finish before both her and Cirno noticed Marisa and Shanghai walking out of the forest. Cirno smirked. "Cirno don-"

It was to late, Cirno was already flying over to in front of Marisa. "Hello there!" Cirno shouted hovering a bit away from Marisa and bit above her. "It is I! Queen of the lake!But you can address me as  'ojosama' or 'Your highness'.  What businessith do you have in my domain commoner?" She said with her hands on her hips, now smiling and as confident as could be and yelling in a clearly unnecessary fashion.

 "Oh dear queen, I just wish to passith the lake, ze." Marisa put her hand on her hip and hung her other one down limp with a scowl on her face.

"Mhm, mhm." Cirno nodded. "But you don't appear to be able to fly, how art to cross the largeith body of water there?"

Marisa looked at the lake. She hadn't really thought of that. "Is there a way to get across it? A bridge mayhaps?" She inquired.

Cirno shook her head and put her hand on her head brushing her hair causing ice cubes to fly out and to the ground. "Ha! A bridge she asks. Isn't that funny Dai-Chan! Listen here commoner. People in these parts know how to fly you understand. There is usually no need for such a bridge. I can how ever help you across should you beat me in a spar!"

"These parts?" Marisa thought to her self. Did she just go from medieval English to southern U.S. country or what? No matter. "I accept your challenge young one. However what should happen to me if I loose? If there are winning conditions you surly have loosing conditions as well."

Cirno nodded happily. "You must..." She paused for dramatic affect and pointed at Marisa. "Play hide and seek with me and Dai-chan!" She said with complete seriousness. "Wait a second I'm not young I'm over sixty years old! Have respect for your elders girl!"

Marisa was surprised as such an absurdly easy loosing condition but no matter. "I deeply apologize ojosama. I accept your challenge."

Shanghai flew away from Marisa and into Daiyousei's lap. Marisa and Cirno stood an equal distance away from each other. "Marisa Vs. Cirno! Winning Conditions: Cirno helps Marisa across the lake. Loosing Conditions: Marisa and I play hide and seek with Cirno and Dayousei!" Shanghai repeated using the voice of a referee.  "Let the match begin!"

Cirno put both her hands out and several sharp looking ice sickles surrounded her. Marisa counted the sharp pieces of ice. There were nine of them, she had an idea. Marisa began charging toward Cirno as Cirno swung arm arms throwing the pieces of ice one by one. Marisa jumped up and began forming electricity in her fist. She stepped on the first ice sickle and used it to push her self further up using it's momentum. She did this with several more until she reached cirno and threw her electricity charged punch directly hitting Cirno. Cirno flew to the ground and rolled into a tree.

Cirno got back up and coughed. "Heh, you are a worthy opponent!" She shouted. "I will no longer refer to you as commoner. Your new name is rival!"

Marisa landed and saw Cirno rushing toward her. She side stepped Cirno's punch with it just missing her nose and grabbed the back of Cirno's dress and attempted to throw her down like Mystia before her. Cirno was having none of that and flew again without hitting the ground. She quickly landed then swiped the back of Marisa's feet causing her to fall.Cirno jumped and straddled Marisa and put her hand in her face beginning to form an ice ball. You could see the icy wind she was using to form the ball.

Cirno had forgotten to do one important thing before she tried this. She had no lock on Marisa's hands, which she now felt on her back. Marisa sent a stream of electricity threw Cirno's body and threw her off of her. Marisa stood up and looked at her opponent. She appeared to be out cold.

Marisa turned to Shanghai and threw her fist in the air and smiled. Shanghai wasn't cheering. "Marisa behind you!" She pointed.

Cirno was weakly standing up, she threw her hand up the air and grabbed a blue ball floating there. She glared at Marisa,"I won't loose!" The ball was glowing in her hands and eventually glowed so bright Marisa and the others couldn't even look at it directly.

When the light cooled down and Marisa looked up. Standing before her was no longer the small girl she was fighting before. She was now as tall as Marisa, her dress was the same but much less puffy, she wore an orange scarf and rather then being short her bow was now the holder of a long flowing pony tail. Instead of small blue shoes she now wore tough looking brown boots. The scarf was covering most of her moth and all the wounds from the previous battle seemed to have healed. In her hand was a long jagged sword made entirely of ice.

You could only see half of Cirno's smirk over the scarf. "This fight ain't over yet." She now sounded some how more mature yet just as silly.

"That is so not fair!" Marisa shouted. "I can't transform. Shanghai can I transform?!" Marisa turned to Shanghai distressed.

Shanghai and Dayousei were eating popcorn in the tree. "Everyone get's one!" Shanghai shouted and she shoved a piece of popcorn in her tiny mouth.

"Alright!" Marisa shouted. She held her hand up and formed a ball of electricity. She grabbed it and pulled it down to her causing electricity to form all around her. When she emerged she was wearing a black skirt with white checkered outlines, a black t-shirt and yellow headphones around her neck which both featured her magical shield in-sigma. The earnings with stars on them from the first chapter had returned. Her hat had been replaced a pair of designer black glasses. In her hand was now a black sword made of granite.

"Well I was really expecting something more lightsabery but this works too." She raised her sword at Cirno. "Let's do this."

Cirno-nee is a real thing. I know this chapter is kind of crazy but I just couldn't help my self.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2010, 09:03:04 AM by Neonie »


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2010, 04:04:45 PM »
Blrugh, ignore everything to saw. I didn't mean to hit the submit button.
« Last Edit: August 25, 2010, 04:28:45 PM by Neonie »


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Re: Marisa's Origin Story
« Reply #17 on: August 30, 2010, 01:58:48 PM »
Chapter 7: Eight, ⑨ or Showdown at ⑨
Cirno rushed towards Marisa and threw a slash down as hard as she could. Marisa held out her hand in anticipation of the slash, a shield bigger then she had summoned yet appeared before her and blocked Cirnos swords, sending electrical sparks all over the place.

"Whoa.." Marisa said, flabbergasted at the size of the shield.

Cirno smirked and stopped trying to push her sword down, she stuck her hand out and froze Marisa's shield in place turning it into a giant ice statue, she rested her feet on the currently in the air but falling statue and back flipped off before it hit the ground and then rushed forward slicing it in half. She looked up at Marisa and did a slash which Marisa quickly blocked with her own sword. It was such a powerful slash it sent Marisa into the air like a baseball putting her and Cirno quite a distance away from each other when she landed.

"Get a grip Marisa, this is no time to be stuck in aw at your own abilities!"

Marisa nodded. "Right, here goes!"

Marisa put the headphones around her neck on and opened her free palm to begin forming a ball of electricity. Cirno came rushing up towards her again going for a slide slash, Marisa blocked it with her sword and tried to hold her ground as best she could before she threw her other hand in front of Cirno and shot the electricity she had been gathering.  The blast was so strong it cent Cirno flying into the nearby lake. She sunk down.

"Was that it? Did I win?"

"I seriously doubt it." Daiyousei said as she covered Shanghai's ears.

An incredibly loud noise was heard as a giant wave rose from the lake, Cirno was above the water with what looked like incredibly large guns on both arms made entirely out of ice, her smile was menacing and overconfident.  She pulled back on the levers on either side of the guns sending huge icicles flying at Marisa.

"This just keeps getting crazier and crazier!" Marisa did her best to slice them as they came at her but eventually resorted to just dodging them. Then Marisa thought of something. This was just like before! Only it was on a much larger scale, all she needed to do was hope on the icicles as they flew at her and reach Cirno.

Marisa found the closes one to her coming from the ground and pushed her self off in Cirno's direction, then next one she bounced off would have to be in the air. She found it, charged some electricity under her feet and bounced her self off. The momentum that caused was more then she anticipated, she was now flying straight for Cirno, she readied her sword and focused.

This was it, Cirno tried dropping her guns but they were two big, Marisa's slash made contact, it was a perfect hit straight threw Cirno.Cirno and Marisa both turned back to normal in a puff of yellow and blue smoke with Cirno turning back into a little girl and Marisa turning back into her witch form. The fight was over. Marisa had did it, she really did it! She won the match and she... wait. She realized at that moment she was still over the water, and still heading forward.

"Oh noooooo!"

She kept flying so far in fact, by the time she descended she was already at the gate of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. 


Behind her was Shanghai flailing.

"You were so cool! Oh man the way you did that was just awesome it wa-"

"You don't need to repeat all the event's again, I was there you know, hell I was the one who did it!"

"I guess you're right, but look we're here. This is the Scarlet Devil Mansion."

In front of her was a huge mansion, the sky here was totally black with a giant red moon behind it and many stars in the sky. The whole mansion was illuminated by this red, but Marisa was sure it was day when she flew over here and it wasn't like that much time had passed. All in all, this place totally gave her the creeps.

She walked up to the gate, sitting there was a girl clothed entirely in green with long straight red hair in what looked like a Chinese military uniform. She also wore a hat with a single golden star on it. She was completely asleep but the gate was closed. Marisa had two options here. She could either wake up the guard and ask to get in, or hope over the wall.

« Last Edit: August 30, 2010, 02:14:32 PM by Neonie »