Huh. Welp, I'm completely wrong (again).
Also finally, finally eked out a 1v1 win. Managed to get a Charge in v. Reinhardt, got obliterated by Zarya (she's my weakest character, because I have shit-tier aim with her), Mei, and Torbjorn, perfected against Junkrat, got a good backstab missile v. Soldier:76, took advantage of slopes covering some of my surface area as Bastion, got outgunned by D.Va, and out-jumped Winston.