What If... (Ver 2.0 + MORE EXPLOSIONS)

[Goldom]

You know how in FF7 one time, you were like, "I wonder what happens if I put Reflect on both my party and the enemy and then cast something?" That. (Everyone tried that at some point, right?)

What if, due to spellcard mechanics or some other facet of physics, rather than a gameplay mechanic, enemies actually became twice the size of the current incident resolver?

[Cybeast710]

Three what if's? Oh boy.

@Goldom.
That? Suika would be called out because she can change size.

Someone else handle the other two.

[Ikari]

I thought they were answered? Mine was at least.

[fondue]

The echo would be twice as loud, twice as long etc.


What if I hugged one of the touhou characters?

[AnonymousPondScum]

What if Kyouko echoed an echo?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXkeFmQ52Yg

[Ikari]

What if I hugged one of the touhou characters?

You would die. In horrible, horrible, horrible pain.
What if Sakuya picked her nose, Aya took a picture and published the pic?

[fondue]

Sakuya would reverse time and destroy Aya's camera before all that.


What if Remilia went out into the sun?

[Ikari]

What if Remilia went out into the sun?

She would lose health and her spellcard gauge would go up quickly.

What if Komachi fell out of her boat?

[game2011]

Eiki will say that she got what she deserves.

What if Touhou + What if Touhou + Happy Wheels?

That question was skipped by Ikari.  It got lost in the midst of the 4th wall and fan fiction talk.

[Cybeast710]

Eiki will say that she got what she deserves.

What if Touhou + Happy Wheels?

That question was skipped by Ikari.  It got lost in the midst of the 4th wall and fan fiction talk.

Most boring game ever... Or Yuuka buys a copy, depending on how it's done. If it changes so that everyone can die with Happy Wheels's roster of death animations, Yuuka would probably buy it as a torture sim for when she can't find anyone else to torture. Speaking of which, Yuuka has an entry on Blue and Orange Morality on TVTropes.

If done with Touhou's death animations (i.e. Pichuun and fall to the ground) then it misses the entire point and nobody wants one.

What would happen if each character from TF2 wound up in Gensokyo?
One answer for each character, one for the whole cast.

Personally, I think Eirin and the Medic would get along splendidly...

EDIT: was that too demanding? I'll change it. What if the Medic from TF2 met Eirin?

[Ikari]

Eirin: No, no, no! You're supposed to make her drink the Hourai Elixir THEN rip her liver out!

Medic: Zat explains a lot!

Eirin: Gah, silly interns :I

What if Yuuka died? ;_;

[Yatakarasu]

No more Youkai moe. And Medicine would need to find a new place to live.


What if all the underground youkai decided not to be underground anymore? Basically, how would the surface world react?

[Ikari]

Well, the obvious answer would be ''People would go like woah no, and push them back underground'' but that's a boring answer.

Kisume: Thrown into a well after showing kids dead bodies kissing each other.

Yamame: Gets over her addiction to infect people and becomes a huge success in the pop industry with her band, Poisonous Silk.

Parsee: Regularly leeches off a character, trying to cosplay as them because she's jealous. Ends up being Kogasa's youkai moe sister.

Yuugi: Meeting up with Suika and causing the most phenomenal and massive party ever known to Gensokyo. Everyone was so drunk they forgot about it.

Satori: I'm confused between saying ''Becomes a judge'' and ''Runs around the human village, trolling the hell out of everyone by screaming their thoughts out loud.'' You know she'd get addicted to that.

Orin: Marry Yoshika and have many many zombabies. Really cute zombabies.

Okuu: Scares everyone with her nuclear power, gets kicked out in the outside world, lands in Ukraine. Disaster ensued.

Koishi: Draws phallic imagery EVERYWHERE.
What if Marisa became a thievery teacher?

[game2011]

Eventually gets imprisoned for teaching unlawful stuff by Kotohime.

What if Yuugi punches Parsee in the abdomen for no reason and then skips away while singing happily, leaving the bridge princess to cringe in pain?

[Kaze_Senshi]

What if Marisa became a thievery teacher?

She would be kicked out of the thievery school because "borrow" her students' things without they know.
_{game2011 stole my question while I was typing (like a Marisa), so I'll post it anyway xD}

What if Yuugi punches Parsee in the abdomen for no reason and then skips away while singing happily, leaving the bridge princess to cringe in pain?

She would become very jealous about Yuugi's punch blow before she puke her lunch and faint. After this day, sometimes you can see Parsee  training some jabs or rope skipping in the bridge to become a better boxing fighter.


What if Reimu decided that in this end of year she'll send all her money to charity?

[Ikari]

Parsee  training some jabs or rope skipping in the bridge to become a better boxing fighter.

It's the green eyes of jealousy, it's the thrill of the fight
Risin' up to the challenge of the oni
And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night
And she's watchin' us all with GREEEEEEEEN EEEEEEEYES!
...Of jealousy~

What if Reimu decided that in this end of year she'll send all her money to charity?

Then she'd also be eating mud and calling it eating sweet cloud muffins.

Because obviously she's gone mad.

What if Byakuren... GOT DRUNK!?

[Yatakarasu]

What if Byakuren... GOT DRUNK!?

Byakuren: "THE WORLD OF DHARMA IS FILLED WITH LIGHT.....AND SAKE! BUT MOSTLY SAKE! -giggles-

Shou: "B-byakuren-sama are you alright?"

Byakuren: "Of coarse-ish, Shou-kun. Lighten up and have something to drink." -hiccups while proceeding to drink progressively more sake- "I don't shee why I have to be the one to sholve everything! Why the hell can't humansh and youkai just get alone?! I'm tired of being youkai Jesus! -hiccups again before continuing to rant some more-

Shou: -turns to Nazrin- "Who bought booze? I thought we couldn't drink?"

Nazrin: -shrugs-

Nue: -grins-

Byakuren: -stops ranting- "Shou-kun, your fur sooooo soft." -gently starts patting Shou on the head-

Shou: "B-b-b-b-byakuren-sama, I really don't think this is...AH!"

Byakuren collapses on Shou and begins to snore loudly.

Shou: -struggling- "Nazrin! Help!"

Nazrin: "Yeah no. Good luck with that, master."

Or something like that.  :derp:

What if Suika (or any oni for that matter) was sober?

[Ikari]

*Epicness*

I lost my shit at the very first sentence, and it only went on. This is gold.

What if Suika (or any oni for that matter) was sober?

Suika: Reimu c:

Reimu: Ugh, what is it?

Suika: I repaired your warehouse, cleaned up the entire area, built you a new and improved shrine, a gigantic donation box who fills itself magically with money, finished my relative psychological physics Major and managed to clone the Hourai elixir.

Reimu: I... I only only looked away to pick up a penny! H-How is that even possible!?
What if Okuu lost her nuclear powers?

[Ran-Rii]

I lost my shit at the very first sentence, and it only went on. This is gold.

Suika: Reimu c:

Reimu: Ugh, what is it?

Suika: I repaired your warehouse, cleaned up the entire area, built you a new and improved shrine, a gigantic donation box who fills itself magically with money, finished my relative psychological physics Major and managed to clone the Hourai elixir.

Reimu: I... I only only looked away to pick up a penny! H-How is that even possible!?
What if Okuu lost her nuclear powers?

In Subterranean Animism...

Reimu: I have come to stop you from making trouble?

Utsuho: What trouble?

Reimu: You know, all those flames, the stupid sun...

Utsuho: Well, the truth is, I have no idea! I still can calculate how I am going to make the sun, but I lost all those powers! *Points to control rod, which is now a normal arm*

Reimu: Why the heck did I fight through 5 other stages just to get here?

Utsuho: (Maybe it was after breakfast this morning, I felt something was missing... like I lost my breakfast) Ah well, I think I'll eat dinner first before getting back at you. Maybe I can find another Yatagarasu...

Meanwhile, in the Icy Lake, Cirno is testing out Reimu's newly developed amulet, courtesy of a certain magician that "borrowed" it from Reimu that was said to materialise food from one's stomach and make the re-constructed food appear in the amulet holder's vicinity. Cirno tagged it onto Utsuho when she sneaked into the underground with Reimu, and went ahead and sneaked past all the others to cast it onto Utsuho, then ran off to hide.

Cirno decided to eat the crow that appeared. She did not know how she suddenly flared up.

What if Remilia lost her weakness to the sunlight?

[Ikari]

Remilia: Bet you're jealous of my tan, uh?

Reimu: I couldn't care less.

Remilia: Please! I can taste the jealousy emanating from you. I bet you wish you had gorgeous skin like mine

Reimu: Go away.

Remilia: Why? The jealousy is driving you mad~?

Reimu: *sighs and throws her broom on the ground (shit's gonna get serious)* Would you just shut up already? You're a pathetic excuse for a vampire; You get the ability to go outside without restrictions and get tanned? Only so you can show off? I have no idea how you even thought that was a good idea, lil' mistress scarlet, but it's makes you a laughable youkai. *picks up her broom* And now, I have cleaning to do.

Remilia: *trembling lips* b-b-b-but... Uuuuuuu, Sakuyaaaa ;__;

What if Patchouli wrote an erotic novel?

[AnonymousPondScum]

What if Patchouli wrote an erotic novel?

Fifty Shades of Purple. :getdown:

What if Tewi went Bugs Bunny for a day?

[Ikari]

Fifty Shades of Purple. :getdown:

That was a cheap response ;__;

[AnonymousPondScum]

That was a cheap response ;__;

If it makes you feel any better I can imagine her writing it as deliberately bad as possible for humor's sake, dripping with sarcasm the whole book through.

[Ran-Rii]

Remilia: Bet you're jealous of my tan, uh?

Reimu: I couldn't care less.

Remilia: Please! I can taste the jealousy emanating from you. I bet you wish you had gorgeous skin like mine

Reimu: Go away.

Remilia: Why? The jealousy is driving you mad~?

Reimu: *sighs and throws her broom on the ground (shit's gonna get serious)* Would you just shut up already? You're a pathetic excuse for a vampire; You get the ability to go outside without restrictions and get tanned? Only so you can show off? I have no idea how you even thought that was a good idea, lil' mistress scarlet, but it's makes you a laughable youkai. *picks up her broom* And now, I have cleaning to do.

Remilia: *trembling lips* b-b-b-but... Uuuuuuu, Sakuyaaaa ;__;

What if Patchouli wrote an erotic novel?

^This idea was made into a doujinshi, and Alice was pretty freaked out by Patchouli. Except that it was a manga she was drawing/writing, not a novel.

I would give a better answer later, my brain doesn't work right in the morning. (IT IS OBLIGATORY FOR A PATCHOULI ENTHUSIAST!)

Fifty Shades of Purple. :getdown:

What if Tewi went Bugs Bunny for a day?

Well, a cheap answer begets a cheap answer.

Bugs Bunny!Tewi would have unnaturally long legs and hands, and Bugs Bunny!Tewi would go about undressed. However, you'd notice Bugs Bunny be craftier than usual.

What if Rinnosuke started selling cosmetic products in Gensokyo, since the real world lost faith in them?

[Ikari]

*raises hand*

If you write Fifty Shades of Purple, be aware I will write Twilight - Touhou Style.

Because god damn it do I hate those two books.

What if Rinnosuke started selling cosmetic products in Gensokyo, since the real world lost faith in them?

Rinnosuke: MAGIC LOLI MAKE-UP! GUARANTEED TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN 8 YEARS OLD!

Woman: Why would someone put that on? :I

Rinnosuke: So you can star in a shooting game while some drunk guy draws an horrible portrait of you.

Woman: ...*walks away*
And thus Rinnosuke fell into drugs, prostitution and alcohol. He is now known as Rinalolita.

What if Miko lost her earmuffs?

[Kaze_Senshi]

What if Rinnosuke started selling cosmetic products in Gensokyo, since the real world lost faith in them?

Yukari: I heard that you are selling some cosmetic products, what do you have to show for me?

Rinnosuke:  Oh well, I have a lot of products, lipsticks, creams and etc. For example I have one product that will make your skin looks soft and awesome, like a 17 years old girl's skin. Also I have other....

Yukari: * with a mad look* Are you supposing that I have a skin of a granny?!

Rinnosuke: Ehh, uhhh, no.... ahhhhhhhHHhH!!

After this day Rinnosuke stopped to sell cosmetic products and took a vacation for medical reasons.

_{Oh guys stop to steal my answers while I'm typing it lol}

What if Miko lost her earmuffs?

She would start to listen  to music in public, bothering the Gensokyo's residents that have different music tastes or she would start to run away from everyone because she couldn't control what she hears and eventually everyone would think that she is crazy  :V



What if instead of asthma Patchoulli had morbid obesity?

[Yatakarasu]

Because god damn it do I hate those two books.

As you should.

What if Miko lost her earmuffs?

Futo: Crown prince, where are your earmuffs?

Miko: -throwing things around the room- I don't know! Find them quickly before the shrine maiden and the thieving magician show up!

A good ten minutes pass as Miko and Futo tear up the room desperately searching for Miko's earmuffs to no avail. A knock is heard at the door.

Miko: "Shit, they're here." -adjusts her shirt- "Well, if it's just those two, I should be able to..." -Miko opens the door-

Marisa: "Yo, Miko. How you doing, ze?"

Reimu: "I hope you don't mind but we brought a few more people with us."

Miko: "R-really?"

Reimu: "Yeah, guess we'll have to have the party out here." -grabs Miko's hand and drags her outside-

A sea of people and youkai have come to visit. Reimu pushes Miko right into the very center of the crowd. Even now Miko's head starts to swim with the desires of everyone around her.

"Donations. Donations. Donations. Donations.....Food.....Food."
"Shiny things. Books. Spell cards."
"Scandalous pictures! Panty shots! HIDDEN SECRETS!"
"Cucumbers...mecha...cucumber mecha."
"Faith faith faith faith faith faith faith faith faith."
"Sake. Beer. Any booze, I don't care."

Miko's eyes turn white and she passes out.

Futo: "CROWN PRINCE!"

Marisa: "Man, we didn't even have anything to drink yet. Wimp."

Noooooo someone else posted. Screw it.

What if instead of asthma Patchoulli had morbid obesity?

She still wouldn't leave the library.

What if Shinki came back....FOR REVENGE!

[Kaze_Senshi]

Ops two opened questions, lets continue with Yatakarasu's question to not "break" the game
If I had some cool idea I could answer it :x
Yatakarasu restored the topic's harmony, ignore this message

[Ikari]

Oh god this is a ninja thread xD

Gensokyo, 18th April.

The air is cold... A storm is brewing.

Alice's house, the forest of magic, 10:00 AM

*knock *knock*

Alice: ...Uh? I wasn't expecting someone... Must be Marisa... *opens the door*

Shinki: *storms in, bringing with her dramatic lightning* HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE COME TO EXACT MY REVENGE!!!

Alice: W-what!?

Shinki: HOW DARE YOUUUU!!!!! I've been waiting for news since months! ;__; So how's your life? Did you get a girlfriend left? I made wheat cookies. I brought you this shirt I made myself. I bought you a new blender. Can I have a cup of tea? I haven't heard of you since forever! You've grown so much! Do you have a girlfriend?

Alice: MooOoooOoom ;__;

Marisa: *enters* Hey there, ze~

Shinki: YOU! IT'S YOU, THE WITCH WHO F*CKED UP MY REALM >:C

Marisa: Sh*t c:

Shinki: *blows up the forest*

What if Youmu's sword were replaced with bread sticks?

[Zork787]

Gensokyo, 18th April.

The air is cold... A storm is brewing.

Alice's house, the forest of magic, 10:00 AM

*knock *knock*

Alice: ...Uh? I wasn't expecting someone... Must be Marisa... *opens the door*

Shinki: *storms in, bringing with her dramatic lightning* HOW DARE YOU! I HAVE COME TO EXACT MY REVENGE!!!

Alice: W-what!?

Shinki: HOW DARE YOUUUU!!!!! I've been waiting for news since months! ;__; So how's your life? Did you get a girlfriend left? I made wheat cookies. I brought you this shirt I made myself. I bought you a new blender. Can I have a cup of tea? I haven't heard of you since forever! You've grown so much! Do you have a girlfriend?

Alice: MooOoooOoom ;__;

Marisa: *enters* Hey there, ze~

Shinki: YOU! IT'S YOU, THE WITCH WHO F*CKED UP MY REALM >:C

Marisa: Sh*t c:

Shinki: *blows up the forest*

And then Reimu TP Hax's outta nowhere, kicking Shinki in the face using "TP HAX SIGN: TP HAX KICK TO THE FACE" because she can

And what if... Zun kept Marisa a redhead instead of making her blonde?