What If... (Ver 2.0 + MORE EXPLOSIONS)

[EthanSilver]

What if Utsuho knew how to make money/actually was capable of a normal person's thought?

Woah. The question split into two!! Gotta remerge the answers...

If A Utsuho relatively were smart capable Utsuho of would making clearly money, be she a would major have threat. to Poor move girl out might of look the up Flaming physics Hell and or move it'd away melt/burn from away. the She nuclear would and also closer have towards to the find quantum/string youkai world. willing Indeterminate to superposition partake of in hellcrow financial states transactions. galore!
_{Yessssss, got both answers to be the same amount of words.}


What if spellcards have been mistakened as being non-fatal due to Komachi's slacking off and not bothering to deal with the deceased yet?

[Ran-Rii]

Woah. The question split into two!! Gotta remerge the answers...

If A Utsuho relatively were smart capable Utsuho of would making clearly money, be she a would major have threat. to Poor move girl out might of look the up Flaming physics Hell and or move it'd away melt/burn from away. the She nuclear would and also closer have towards to the find quantum/string youkai world. willing Indeterminate to superposition partake of in hellcrow financial states transactions. galore!
_{Yessssss, got both answers to be the same amount of words.}


What if spellcards have been mistakened as being non-fatal due to Komachi's slacking off and not bothering to deal with the deceased yet?

Well, if Komachi suddenly decided to go to work, 99% of the Gensokyo population would suddenly die due to previous defeats in SpellCard duels.
Wait... they would still be fine, since a Shinigami could still be fought off.
Ah, well.
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What if Sakuya actually caught a fever due to overwork and was bedridden for 6 months?

[Terrabreak]

Flandre would go out and cook Fairy soup (Made OF faries, not by faries) for 6 lovely months.

What if Unzan escaped to a cementery every full moon to talk to his  old buddies, Myouren and Youki?

[Ikari]

Youki: Hah, my grand-daughter is a wonderful swordsman! She can cut through almost anything at the speed of light! She's so hard-working too!
Myouren: How nice! My little sister is now working hard for her dream of peace between youkai and humans; I'm so proud she decided to continue what I couldn't finish!
Unzan: ...
Youki: How about you Unzan? How's Ichirin?
Myouren: Yes, she works for Byakuren, no? How is she doing?
Unzan: ...She's a fantastic hitbox.

What if Kaguya and Mokou's immortality wore off?

[game2011]

They instantly become old women due to age catching up with them.

What if Mokou did a silly dance at Kaguya's funeral as a form of insult to her?  No, this question is NOT a continuation of the question above, so please do not treat it as such.

[DeltaSierra4]

Keine would join in and both will get kicked out by Eirin

What if Kaguya did a silly dance at Mokou's funeral to insult her? As above, this question is NOT a continuation of both questions above

[Ran-Rii]

Keine would join in and both will get kicked out by Eirin

What if Kaguya did a silly dance at Mokou's funeral to insult her? As above, this question is NOT a continuation of both questions above

In the first place, Kaguya would be like "HELP ME, EIRIN!!!"
"What for, my princess?"
"Dance to Mokou..."

Well, if the lazy princess did do it, Mokou would instantly resurrect, and make sure the one that is dead is Kaguya.
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What if Patchouli managed to gain access to a computer?

[game2011]

Behold as she controls everything electronic in the SDM using it!

What if while walking elegantly in the Human Village, Sakuya trips and makes a complete mess and fool out of herself, thus ruining her image, and everyone, including Remilia, laughs hysterically at the sight of it?

[Ran-Rii]

Behold as she controls everything electronic in the SDM using it!

What if while walking elegantly in the Human Village, Sakuya trips and makes a complete mess and fool out of herself, thus ruining her image, and everyone, including Remilia, laughs hysterically at the sight of it?

Sakuya = Non-hypercompetent maid.

OR.... she could just time-stop, pick herself up, undo all the mess, knock out/knife all that saw it, then walk on elegantly as if nothing happened.

She would just pick herself up and walk away. After time-stopping to clean up the mess, of course. As if nothing happened.
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What if, China MeiLing ever went into Patchouli's Library and read a book about Mao ZeDong? [The famous Chinese Communist Leader]
^Well I see this is a hypersensitive question so...

What if Flandre lost her voice, so she cannot Kyuu~ anything?

[game2011]

That's when she starts using the Laevateinn more often.

What if while Miko is giving a Taoism-related speech, Byakuren throws a shoe at her, but she manages to graze it?

[Kaze_Senshi]

That's when she starts using the Laevateinn more often.

What if while Miko is giving a Taoism-related speech, Byakuren throws a shoe at her, but she manages to graze it?

Lol, Byakuren would be kicked out of the speech and arrested by Futo's incredible flying patrol boat, after she would call Nazrin to be her lawyer after.
Also Miko would get 1 graze point  :V

What if Suika was addicted in soda instead of alcohol?

[fondue]

Well instead of drunken she'd been hyper in IaMP. And a lot harder.


What if Yukari caught you jerking off and sold the video and pictures to Aya unless if you did her work for her for an eternity? :V :V :V

[EthanSilver]

What if Yukari caught you jerking off and sold the video and pictures to Aya unless if you did her work for her for an eternity? :V :V :V

What if I want to send Aya pictures/videos of myself jerking off and work for Yukari? :/ Can I at least convince her to write obnoxious and creepy messages on the photos, like "LAWL LOOK HAOW BIG IT SI!!!" and "COAM AND GET IT BERD LAEDY!!!!1!"?

Sigh... Fine.

If that were the way things went, one could make a pretty strong case for Yukari being a closet voyeur and a control freak - what other kind of person would poke around random people's rooms in the outside world on the off chance they can be caught jerking off and blackmailed? This would raise quite a few questions as to why she's always hanging around Reimu - does Gensokyo's only non-waste-of-space shrine maiden have certain unthinkable natural urges, and is Yukari profiting from it in some creepy inappropriate way?

This is my theory (NSFW!!!!)


What if you found out that Gensokyo were real AND within walking distance! Only catch is, it's actually a miniature ant-sized world under your bathroom sink. With tiny microbe-sized fairies shooting electron-sized bullets at one-another.

[Kami-sama!]

I would start to study up on science and try to invent a shrink ray/potion/whatever to shrink myself so I can be in Gensokyo.

What is Suika drank me D:?

[NuclearFalcon]

What if Utsuho knew how to make money/actually was capable of a normal person's thought?

I am a rule 63 answer to that question.  Based on that she would probably go to college to become some kind of nuclear scientist.

What if it were true that Yukari can appear in people's dreams (based on the PMiSS profile) and appeared in your dreams while you are lucid and you realized that tidbit that she controls the reality of it.  Yeah, real mind screw on what you think is real and not real.

[EthanSilver]

Skipping Lolisake's question? :/

[Ran-Rii]

I would start to study up on science and try to invent a shrink ray/potion/whatever to shrink myself so I can be in Gensokyo.

What is Suika drank me D:?

Flandre is your answer.
Or... She would just complain that the Sake tastes weird and continue drinking sake.
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What if Sakuya decided that "Screw the SDM, they are not paying me enough" and decided to go elsewhere?

[Delfigamer]

What if Sakuya decided that "Screw the SDM, they are not paying me enough" and decided to go elsewhere?

I'd catch her and make her my maid.  :V
Oh wait, probably I haven't enough money. Oh no.
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What if it were true that Yukari can appear in people's dreams (based on the PMiSS profile) and appeared in your dreams while you are lucid and you realized that tidbit that she controls the reality of it.  Yeah, real mind screw on what you think is real and not real.

I'd ask her to give me money enough to have Sakuya as a maid.  :V
Oh wait, probably Yukari would make me work on her for eternety for that. Oh no. T_T
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Also, very, very nice picture you have there. Linked from which doujinshi? [I did not know that they would look so awesome with their suits]

My fellow schizophrenic gave me that picture. I haven't read this doujinshi, actually.
BTW, Touhou - The White Wolf Shrine Maiden (futatsuki hisame) :3
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What if Rinnosuke built the Danmaku Colosseum?

[Ran-Rii]

I'd catch her and make her my maid.  :V
Oh wait, probably I haven't enough money. Oh no.
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I'd ask her to give me money enough to have Sakuya as a maid.  :V
Oh wait, probably Yukari would make me work on her for eternety for that. Oh no. T_T
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My fellow schizophrenic gave me that picture. I haven't read this doujinshi, actually.
BTW, Touhou - The White Wolf Shrine Maiden (futatsuki hisame) :3
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What if Rinnosuke built the Danmaku Colosseum?

First off, thanks for the link! Now... the question...

Assuming that a Colosseum is where people watch fights for entertainment, and how many bullets there are in a Danmaku Fight, and how one would like to stay away from those fights as much as possible if he/she is not the best fighters out there...

Rinnosuke would either
a) Run out of funds to sustain the Colosseum
b) Run out of funds repairing the Colosseum
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What if Keine decided to screw with history and gender-bended most of the Gensokyo population?

[Delfigamer]

Then ZUN would be born as girl.

What if baterry in Toyo-waifu's player died?

[Ran-Rii]

Then ZUN would be born as girl.

What if baterry in Toyo-waifu's player died?

She would learn to quit her addiction to music...
Or Rinnosuke would be tasked with the holy privilege to get her a spare set of batteries or a charger.
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What if Remillia decided  to enter the "fortune telling" profession?

[game2011]

Pay extra to change your fate.

What if Tewi played a prank on Flandre, humiliating her badly, and got away with it completely?

[Ikari]

What if Tewi played a prank on Flandre, humiliating her badly, and got away with it completely?

Out of pride for the Scarlet lineage, Remilia decides that the SDM would raid the Eientei and thus, Touhou 14 is created.

What if Aya had to find a second job other than journalist?

[Cybeast710]

Out of pride for the Scarlet lineage, Remilia decides that the SDM would raid the Eientei and thus, Touhou 14 is created.

What if Aya had to find a second job other than journalist?

Considering how she apparently used to be risque, she'd probably start selling THOSE pictures on the black market.

What if the Touhou Characters became aware of this forum, and knew where we all lived?

[Ikari]

What if the Touhou Characters became aware of this forum, and knew where we all lived?

My house would be full of Koishi-traps. (Namely, cakes and beds randomly lying everywhere.)

What if Shou accidentally broke her Pagoda by dropping it?

[DeltaSierra4]

Multiple possible answers for that.

1. Shou asks Nazrin to go look for another one.
2. When Byakuren comes asking why the Pagoda is broken, Shou blames it on Flandre
3. Shou asks Nitori to fix it up for her.

What if Shikieiki caught you fishing in the Sanzu river?

[Ran-Rii]

Slakers gotta slack, she probably would not kill you...
Perhaps demand a few fish for you to keep your life...

OR
kill you as a token to represent she done her job...

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What if Patchouli introduced manga to Flandre?

[Cybeast710]

________________
What if Patchouli introduced manga to Flandre?

Flandre starts copying characters from said manga. You can hear "Kame... HAME..." coming from the basement. And patchouli starts looking a lot more harried, because when Flandre DOES detonate that bomb, it won't be pretty.

As for the previous question:

What if Shikieiki caught you fishing in the Sanzu river?

She kills you, then brings you back as a Shingami for
your sheer nerve. (i believe the previous poster mistook Shikieiki for Komachi.)

On to my question:
What if Flandre broke into a Brawl match? Or some bright spark opened up a portal which let to *insert game name here*?

[Ran-Rii]

Flandre starts copying characters from said manga. You can hear "Kame... HAME..." coming from the basement. And patchouli starts looking a lot more harried, because when Flandre DOES detonate that bomb, it won't be pretty.

As for the previous question:She kills you, then brings you back as a Shingami for
your sheer nerve. (i believe the previous poster mistook Shikieiki for Komachi.)

On to my question:
What if Flandre broke into a Brawl match? Or some bright spark opened up a portal which let to *insert game name here*?

Ah... forgive me... the moment I see "Sanzu River" I think of Komachi... natural reaction, sorry.

Now, let us answer that...

"Wow... what is this place? I did not remember this in the Scarlet Devil Mansion..."
*Gets hit by a sword in the middle of the match*

Somewhere in the Scarlet Devil Mansion, Remilia has noticed a disturbance in the fates of some of the characters in her latest electric shikigami she lent to Flandre that she got from Rinnosuke...

*Cleaved by Laevateinn*
"Kyuu~"
*The opponent's life bar explodes at will*

Remilia realised that the most broken character in the game was about to be her own sister.
Flandre would finally have somewhere that she could Kyuu~ anything at will.

Then any video game she went to would involve her being the ultimate and unbeatable win-button.

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What if Rinnosuke acquired a gun, and knew how to use it?

[Ikari]

It would do the Sanae effect.

Rinnosuke: Haha, fear this mighty weapon!!!
Reimu: Uuuh... You think this weapon who has limited ammo, can only shoot one bullet per fire and occupies your hands frightens me? I- No, WE can all shoot an infinite amount of bullets with a thought!
Rinnosuke: ......Crap.

What if Marisa's broom broke?