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BLATANT THIEVERY OF OP
What is the story or "Roll to Dodge!"?
"You wake up in a grassy field. Go!"
Roll to Dodge! is a unique text adventure, in that you don't control one character. You control yourself. Each person that submits an action will be acting of their own accord, on their own character. Characters may interact with the environment and each other any way they wish. Because of this, you may only submit one action per roll. I will take the latest action you submit, and if you accidentally make two actions at once, I will take only the second one. If I catch it before the time I update, however, I'll attempt to leave a warning.
Updates will take place sometimes in the evening or morning. Basically, once a day.
What kind of actions you can perform? Well, first of all, try to avoid doing something too obscene. Outside of that, however, your actions and the consequences are only ruled by two things: Your imagination, and these:
(http://mindyourdecisions.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/05/die_roll.png)
That's right! When I update every day, I will be rolling a die. This is part of the reason behind why this game is called "Roll to Dodge!" Any action you make has a chance of failure or success based on the outcome of a 1d6 roll. Here's a breakdown of what happens:
1 - Epic Fail: The exact opposite happens
2 - Fail: You fail to complete the action
3 - Troubling Success: You complete the action, however not without trouble or damage.
4 - Success: You complete the action. That's it.
5 - Perfect Success: You complete the action well enough that you receive a boost from the outcome
6 - Overshoot: You complete the action so utterly thoroughly that something unintended happens.
Of course, the other part of the reason why this game is called "Roll to Dodge!" is because you also have to dodge things. Players may attack one another, and the Environment (as well as any denizens of which) may attack players of their own free will as well. If you are attacked, I will automatically roll for your character. Here is a breakdown of how the roll affects you:
1 - Fatal Wound: You die
2 - Serious Wound: If attacked again within the next two turns, if you roll a 3 or lower, you will die.
3 - Grazed Wound: Your next roll will suffer a -1 penalty
4 - Graze Clothing: You take no damage, Nothing happens
5 - Graze Score: Your next roll will gain a +1 boon
6 - Counter: The attack will - If a player - be forced to roll to dodge, or if part of the environment, be destroyed/defeated.
In short:
- You control your own character
- You can submit (almost) any action
- Every 24 hours, I will roll a die to see if you succeed or fail your action
- You wake up in a grassy field. Go!
Make it perfect!
Just as a side note: there may in fact be an overarching story to this one! Be warned and prepared.
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>Incinerate Grassy Field, make it barren wasteland
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> No I am the grassy field.
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> Become a dryad I've probably worn that a little thin.
> Obtain the Horadric Lutefisk Cube.
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> Dodge everything
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Awwww shit son. Time to do more RtD!
What do do....
>Steal the GP-02 (Again!)
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>Accept the violet ring.
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A NOTE: If you die, I will accept commands once, and once only. If you come back to life and die again, you are done. If you are declared Permadead, whether for this or any other reason, you are done.
It's not a real game if you can't lose. :X
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>Immediately burrow underground.
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>Go find a haunted mansion
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DAAAAAUUUGHHHH
Have football pulled quickly away right before kicking it
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> Wander off.
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> Sequence break
the plot
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>Summon a mustache familiar.
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> Put on my gown and nightcap!
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> Fall out of one of Yukari's Gaps as Jak (http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Jak), with accompaning Firearms, Ottsel sidekick, attitude and Morph Gun
(Oh yeah, this is gonna be GOOD,)
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>Determine parser's location.
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>Lick Shadoweh
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> Lurk the fields :3
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>Lick Shadoweh
>Lynch for being creepy
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> Perform irish flute recital.
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>Push a randomly selected person off a bridge.
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>Become the Bob.
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>throw a rock at someone
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The returning of RtD Series!!! ;)
I shall begin by the "good" thing...
> Reunite the armys that lose during the last RtD.
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>Kick ass and chew bubblegum.
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>Incinerate Grassy Field, make it barren wasteland
1: You somehow manage to send a massive tide of energy into the field, spurring growth! Within minutes, the field now more closely resembles a prairie, with the grass waist-high or higher.
You have obtained the level 1 HIPPIE DANCE: GROOVIN' GROWTH
> No I am the grassy field.
5: You commune with the grassy field. You are one with it. You are at peace.
You also are able to draw upon the overwhelming tide of energy flowing through it! (+1 to your next roll)
You have acquired the level 1 NOMSKILL: JUST A NIBBLE
> Become a dryad I've probably worn that a little thin.
> Obtain the Horadric Lutefisk Cube.
4: You push your way through the grass, stumbling upon the legendary Horadric Lutefisk Cube! Unfortunately, you have nothing to put in it, and you've no idea where the nearest statue of the Lutefisk God is anyway. This was kind of a waste!
You have learned the level 1 PRESDIGITECH: NOTHING UP MY SLEEVE
> Dodge everything
4: For a moment, you become ethereal. Everything passes right through you. You phase back in, and fortunately there are no horrible side effects like phasing in around the grass and having it carve your insides to a bloody mess!
You have grasped the level 1 SKULK: JUST THE WIND
>Steal the GP-02 (Again!)
5: You pilfer the GP-02! Sadly it's a scale model, but you nonetheless feel inspired! (+1 to your next roll)
You have gotten the level 1 NICK KNACK: YOINK
>Accept the violet ring.
5: You accept the violet ring and place it on your finger. You surge with strength! (+1 to your next roll)
(e-a ring of +3 strength[worn])
>Immediately burrow underground.
3: You attempt to dig underground. However, the thick, tough grass makes this more difficult than you anticipated, and you are only able to carve a shallow hole. Also, your hands are bleeding now. Ouch! (-1 to your next roll)
>Go find a haunted mansion
5: Well, I say! What's that off in the distance! It looks like a mansion! And it's haunted! But you're more than ready to deal with any pesky ghosts you might find, with your exorcism training! (+1 to your next roll)
You have understood the level 1 GHOSTBUSTER: GARLIC, RIGHT?
Have football pulled quickly away right before kicking it
3: Aaaaaaaarrrgghhh! But you hit the ball! (-1 to your next roll)
> Wander off.
2: Nah. You decide to stay put. In fact, you're getting kind of scared of moving, with all the craziness going on around you.
> Sequence break the plot
1: YOU WILL PLAY THIS GAME IN ORDER
In fact, you lock the game with impassable chest-high walls so no one else can try it.
>Summon a mustache familiar.
1: You conjure an Italian Plumber. He jumps on your head and vanishes.
> Put on my gown and nightcap!
1: You put on your robe and wizard hat.
You have comprehended the level 1 THAUMATURGICAL THOUGHT: SUBTLE AND QUICK TO ANGER
> Fall out of one of Yukari's Gaps as Jak (http://jakanddaxter.wikia.com/wiki/Jak), with accompaning Firearms, Ottsel sidekick, attitude and Morph Gun
2: You decide this should happen, but apparently Yukari wasn't paying attention.
>Determine parser's location.
4: You conclude that the parser is at a computer.
>Lick Shadoweh
1:
>Lynch for being creepy
Schezo must roll to dodge!
6: Schezo roleflips as town without dying! At least no one will be lynching you now! But now the bandwagon turns on Pesco!
Pesco must roll to dodge!
1+1: Pesco, Mafia Godfather, has been lynched! Thankfully, with the burst of energy he absorbed from the field he was able to escape from the noose, but he's not looking too good. Pesco is Seriously Wounded.
> Lurk the fields :3
6: You lurk the fields so cunningly you feel yourself becoming a part of them! This threatens the symbiosis with Pesco!
Pesco and Ex-Nue must Roll to Dodge!
3
3
The field decides it's not talking to either of you until you make up, and smacks you around a bit as well! (-1 to Ex-Nue's next roll)
Pesco has died!
> Perform irish flute recital.
3: Sadly, you are lacking in Irish Flutes. You make a note to find one and whistle instead. Your disappointment is keen. :( (-1 to your next roll)
>Push a randomly selected person off a bridge.
5: Purvis, you magnificent bastard.
<theshim|work> @dice 1d23
<Keine-tan> theshim|work: 23
You attempt to push Desu_Cake off a bridge! Desu_Cake must roll to dodge!
4: Desu_Cake manages to hold onto the bridge, albeit barely. Still, your early success fills you with glee, and possibly a lust for pancakes. (+1 to your next roll)
>Become the Bob.
5: You are the Bob. Your Bobness is legendary. All who see you whisper among themselves, "that's the Bob." (+1 to your next roll)
>throw a rock at someone
5: You wind up and throw!
<theshim|work> @dice 1d23
<Keine-tan> theshim|work: 9
Edible must roll to dodge!
5-1=4: Edible dodges your rock. It was a pretty good throw, though. You feel good about it! (+1 to your next roll)
You have mastered the level 1 CHUCK TESTA: CATCH!
> Reunite the armys that lose during the last RtD.
3: You attempt to bring the armies back together, but a few of them beat you up and leave to get set up to fight each other. (-1 to your next roll)
>Kick ass and chew bubblegum.
2: After being nearly thrown off a bridge, you're in condition to do neither.
BUFFED:
Hanzo K.
Sourfang
Phlegeth
Purvis
Mr. Bob
Yog-N'yoggoth
OUCHED:
Orin
Ex-Nue
Remilius
GM Potato
DEADED:
Pesco
PERMADEADED
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>Beat a random player with a board.
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> Give the field 250 gold for First Blood
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> Check if Yukari gave me any powers. She messed around bringing me here, maybe she made me interesting.
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>Convert the grassy field into a disco arena and GET DOWN.
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Fine then
> Apply camouflage to the walls so people wonder why they can't get over that log in the road.
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Activate doomsday waffle!
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>Catch a Misdreavus
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Damn it, my flute recital :(
> Toss computer screen out the window in frustration, preferrably aiming to hit somebody with it.
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> Go on a hunt for objects or people to transmute into lutefisk.
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>Manifest nuclear powers.
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Well, this wasn't what I had in mind, but hey.
>Use the scale model as a catalyst to conjure an automata construct that has the exact same specifications as the real GP-02.
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>Apply Growth power to Purvis, make him Cho-Purvis
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> Con someone for some health
Lol who did I kill already?
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What? This green is sickening.
>Steal Pesco's Mafia Godfather title.
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>Encase Eirin, Sakuya and 13 random touhous in violet conversion crystals, to form the nexus of my new violet lantern corps.
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> Turn everyone into Ponies
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>Beat a random player with a board.
2+1: You have expended your lust for blood. Only pancakes concern you now. You settle for hitting someone with a griddle instead.
Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
5-1: You attempt to clock Ex-Nue, but your swing is feeble and dodged. You can't go much longer without pancakes.
> Give the field 250 gold for First Blood
1: Due to an incomprehensible glitch in the system, you are credited with first blood instead! You revive after 15 seconds with 250 extra gold.
> Check if Yukari gave me any powers. She messed around bringing me here, maybe she made me interesting.
3: You decide to test for powers empirically. Perhaps you shouldn't have tried to test for flight first. Ouch. (-1 to your next roll)
>Convert the grassy field into a disco arena and GET DOWN.
3: You attempt to convert the field to a disco arena, but the lighting's just all wrong. Attempting to GET DOWN anyway just makes you hurt yourself. (-1 to your next roll)
Fine then
> Apply camouflage to the walls so people wonder why they can't get over that log in the road.
5: You coat the chest-high walls in an Invisible Paint. Now they are Invisible Chest High Walls! Bahahahaha! (+1 to your next roll)
Activate doomsday waffle!
2: Fool! You can't activate the Doomsday Waffle without first triggering the Apocalypse Pancake and the Cataclysm Muffin!
It's like you've never played this game at all!
>Catch a Misdreavus
1: A Misdreavus catches you. You are now trapped in a poke ball.
Damn it, my flute recital :(
> Toss computer screen out the window in frustration, preferrably aiming to hit somebody with it.
1-1: You decide to just toss Windows off your computer screen. You are now running Ubuntu.
> Go on a hunt for objects or people to transmute into lutefisk.
2: Does this look like the Dungeon of Dredmor? No? Then you're out of luck.
>Manifest nuclear powers.
4: You do just that! Man, why didn't you do this ages ago?
You have picked up the level 1 NUCLEAR MODERN ART: I'LL HALF-LIFE YOU.
Well, this wasn't what I had in mind, but hey.
>Use the scale model as a catalyst to conjure an automata construct that has the exact same specifications as the real GP-02.
4+1: You get to work and construct the GP-02! It's pretty rad! (+1 to your next roll)
>Apply Growth power to Purvis, make him Cho-Purvis
1: Your Groovin' Growth surges out of your control. Purvis must roll to dodge!
2: Purvis is now Cho'Purvis, the Gentleman of the Void.
> Con someone for some health
Lol who did I kill already?
6: You decide to con EVERYONE for some health.
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!
What? This green is sickening.
>Steal Pesco's Mafia Godfather title.
3: You try to steal the title. Unfortunately you haven't been brushing up on your NICK KNACKS, so this goes nowhere. You also get Lynched for a day. :( (-1 to your next roll)
>Encase Eirin, Sakuya and 13 random touhous in violet conversion crystals, to form the nexus of my new violet lantern corps.
2+1: It clearly is a ring of strength, and not a Violet Lantern ring! But what the hell. You try anyway, and instead summon copies of the 13 touhou games, which all hit you on the head. (-1 to your next roll)
> Turn everyone into Ponies
5: You turn everyone into Ponies. You can only sustain such a vast transmutation across so many subjects for a brief moment, however, but you come away enriched with knowledge! (+1 to your next roll)
UncertainKitten: 2: Looks like you forgot to prep Alter Fortune. UK is seriously wounded!
Pesco: 3: Honorable of you not to break out the mindhax. (-1 to your next roll)
rdj: 1: If only...you had...more lutefisk...
rdj has died!
PX: 5+1: Ex-Nue's slick talk is no match for your Nephenee avatar. Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
6: You guys simply get caught in a loop and both leave.
Hanzo: 6+1: The tables have turned! Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
6: You two just stalemate.
Sourfang: 3-1: That ring of strength doesn't help you with slick talkers! Sourfang is seriously wounded!
Orin: 6-1: You offer Ex-Nue a zombie spirit instead. The offer is politely declined, so you eat it. (+1 to your next roll)
Phlegeth: 3: Hard to read someone from inside a poke ball. (-1 to your next roll)
Edible: 1: The most delicious life force.
Edible has died!
Kasu: 4: (http://www.shrinemaiden.org/images/avatars/avatar_1484_1324417763.jpg)
Smashy: 3+1: You hide behind an invisible wall and wait for Ex-Nue to go away.
Marokuu: 4: Nuclear powers, probably not so good for healing.
Shadoweh: 3: obvscum (-1 to your next roll)
Allosawyou: 6-1 Yukari may not have given you powers, but at least you've got the smarts not to get nommed. (+1 to your next roll)
Ran: 3: Foxes are full of nourishment. (-1 to your next roll)
Schezo: 3-1: Ex-Nue's going after you despite flipping town. That's probably a dead giveaway, but you're a bit busy araaarrrgghhghhh to do anything about it! Schezo is seriously wounded!
Remilius: 1: CTRL+ALT+DEL! WHY ISN'T IT DOING ANYTHIIIIING
Remilius has died!
Cho'Purvis: 2: It takes a brave man to feed upon the spawn of the void, but apparently Ex-Nue is just that brave! Cho'Purvis is seriously wounded!
Mr. Bob: 5+1: SUBMIT TO THE BOB! Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
6: Nope. Ex-Nue's absorbed enough life force to stalemate anyone, it seems.
Yog-N'yoggoth: 5+1: OR IS IT?! Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
5: Yeah, it really is. ::)
GM Potato: 6-1: After your failure with the armies, you're not taking any chances. You renew your guard as well. (+1 to your next roll)
Desu_Cake: 2: With a name like that... Desu_Cake is seriously wounded!
Amra: 1-1: So young. So discoless. So dead.
Amra has died!
Ex-Nue absorbs one hell of a lot of health! (+1 to your next action)
BUFFED
Orin
Allosawyou
GM Potato
Ex-Nue
OUCHED
Pesco
Phlegeth
Shadoweh
Ran
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
UncertainKitten
Sourfang
Schezo
Cho'Purvis
Desu_Cake
DEADED
(Pesco)
rdj
Edible
Remilius
Amra
PERMADEADED
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>Take a pancake break. Pinkies up!
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> Pick Skeleton King this time.
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> Use newfound smarts to construct some form of SUPERWEAPON. Preferably involving curvy lasers.
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> Spawn a ghost creeper
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> Return to the guise I was meant to be in! CLOW CARD!
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>Start a farm.
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>Tap self to heal all damage
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> Harness nuclear powers to make everyone fukkireta. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4wkJUIM4hA) How does that work? Are you going to question the guy with the suns?
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> Develop a drill that pierces the heavens
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:3
Best dodge ever.
> Try to sneak away from all of the action.
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> Dump invisible paint on a random person, as an alternative to Nitori camouflage.
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>Hire lawyers from BEYOND THE GRAVE.
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>Relocate myself to within the parser's computer.
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A heads up to you guys: This Roll to Dodge will not be updated on weekends.
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"Spam parser's inbox on weekends."
Duly noted.
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>DISCOOOOOOO.
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>use power of rock
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>Attain the title "Badass Overlord"
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Shadoweh: 3: obvscum (-1 to your next roll)
W-wh-WHAT?!
> Steal Schezo's town flip, this is obviously mine.
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Since I'm a Pok?mon does that mean I can't be killed, only fainted? :V
>Escape from my Pok?ball ala Pikachu
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Ah... I have the new guard of the GM's force now...
It's time to testament my power as GM!
> Cast "Corspe Explosion" on the dead's body.
Render the Corspe's owner can't revived next turn and hurt anyone at 3 next persons and 3 before persons of me.
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>Take a pancake break. Pinkies up!
5: You stop for a spot of pancakes! Jolly good! So good, in fact, that you feel a proper gentleman once more! Cho'Purvis has been healed! (+1 to your next roll)
> Pick Skeleton King this time.
5-1: You switch to the Skeleton King. Sadly, this means you lose your 250 gold.
> Use newfound smarts to construct some form of SUPERWEAPON. Preferably involving curvy lasers.
6+1: You construct the CATACLYSM MUFFIN PAN! It can be used to bake the CATACLYSM MUFFIN, assuming you can find the ingredients and a proper oven. It also functions as a high-power laser emitter (which is why it can bake said muffin) and is fitted with a recharging explosive array.
> Return to the guise I was meant to be in! CLOW CARD!
6: Death seems to be a revolving door these days. You return to the rdj you were meant to be!
> Spawn a ghost creeper
6+1: Overflowing with the stolen lives of others, you feed it into a powerful creation, and spawn an army of ghost creepers!
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update! (Damnit Ex-Nue)
>Start a farm.
5: You carve out a patch of the grassy field and start planting. Within a few minutes, you've got a pretty sizable patch of land set up, and the overflowing growth energy from the field means some of them sprout in moments! You grab a bite to eat. (+1 to your next roll)
>Tap self to heal all damage
2: Do you see any green mana untapped? No? Tough luck!
> Harness nuclear powers to make everyone fukkireta. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4wkJUIM4hA) How does that work? Are you going to question the guy with the suns?
1: Your nuclear powers don't work that way! Instead you end up blowing up a bunch of creepers.
Mass roll to dodge averted!
> Develop a drill that pierces the heavens
4: You decide to do the impossible. You make a drill. Technically, it can pierce the heavens!
:3
Best dodge ever.
> Try to sneak away from all of the action.
6: You sneak away so stealthily that you suddenly realize you have no idea where you are! It looks like a forest. There are a couple well-armed and armored men walking past you.
You have intuited the level 1 SANATECH: ...HUH...?
> Dump invisible paint on a random person, as an alternative to Nitori camouflage.
5: You decide that someone needs to be cloaked! Ex-Nue must roll to dodge!
1: OH GOD, IT'S IN YOUR EYES also it turns out that it went down your throat and that invisible paint is highly toxic!
Ex-Nue has died!
...the perfect murder! (+1 to your next roll)
>Hire lawyers from BEYOND THE GRAVE.
1: You try to hire some lawyers, from beyond the grave, but instead get lawyers from BEYOND THE GRAVE! You now have a retainer with Mr. Slant.
>Relocate myself to within the parser's computer.
6-1: You manage to convert yourself into a computer program and upload yourself to this computer! Now YOU are in control! (+1 to your next roll)
Unfortunately the parser closes you.
>DISCOOOOOOO.
6: Death cannot stop this dance! You disco right the hell out of being dead!
>use power of rock
3: You attempt to use the power of rock. Sadly, your earth elemental magic is lacking, and you only seem to be able to summon rocks towards your head at high speed. Ow. (-1 to your next roll)
>Attain the title "Badass Overlord"
3: You try to get this title, but you're nowhere near a high enough level to take on Overlord Zetta. He whomps you for your temerity. (-1 to your next roll)
W-wh-WHAT?!
> Steal Schezo's town flip, this is obviously mine.
1-1: You flip scum. Told you so.
Since I'm a Pok?mon does that mean I can't be killed, only fainted? :V
>Escape from my Pok?ball ala Pikachu
5-1: You escape from the Pok?ball. However, you're still Misdreavus's. No getting around that.
Ah... I have the new guard of the GM's force now...
It's time to testament my power as GM!
> Cast "Corspe Explosion" on the dead's body.
Render the Corspe's owner can't revived next turn and hurt anyone at 3 next persons and 3 before persons of me.
4+1: You cast Corpse Explosion on Remilius's corpse! Sadly it's not a very high level, so only person is nearby! Sourfang must roll to dodge!
6+1: You almost blew up his field! In revenge Sourfang throws Explosive Gourds at you! GM Potato must roll to dodge!
3+1: You manage to avoid it. Perhaps attacking the guy with Explosive Gourds wasn't the best idea.
BUFFED
Orin
Cho'Purvis
Smashy
Ran
OUCHED
Yog'Nyggoth
Schezo
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
UncertainKitten
Sourfang
Schezo
Desu_Cake
DEADED
(Pesco)
(rdj)
Edible
Remilius
(Amra)
Ex-Nue
PERMADEADED
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> Farm an Armlet
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Dammit. Knew I should have grinded more.
There's only one thing that can help Shadoweh!
>Reincarnate Shadoweh into a prinny ...dood.
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> Wind, become a binding chain! WINDYYYYY (http://i44.tinypic.com/n3oy1y.jpg)
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> Construct a bolt of mass destruction.
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Damn, Paint of all things... REVENGE!!
> Revive by brursting through smashy's body :3
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>Prepare Alter Fortune
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> Find the ingredients for the CATACLYSM MUFFIN
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> Resurrect with the power of JAZZ
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> FEVER TIME BABY!
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>Expand into the biggest dairy farm in the netherworld.
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>Find a Heavy Lobster to defeat with Paint powers
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>Pick the next poster's nose.
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> Wander through the forest.
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>Bother the parser by wandering around his screen, blocking his view of various things on his computer, and randomly move windows around.
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Schezo is town and I'm scum? I.. I don't know what's going on anymore ;_;
> Recruit Kitten4u and UncertainKitten so I can finally have the Kitten QT I always wanted.
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cast lay on hands on self
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To attack on GM aren't easy task!
Soulfang shall known what'll happen to him when him's agains the GM's Rule!!!
> Use "Famicom" and add the "24K" labled cartridge into the console, resulting into great explosion that deal 24K damage to Soulfang!
He shall know that's aren't the cleaver ideal to massed with GM!
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>Well then. Now it is tea time!
>Union Jack!
>Wailing Guitars!
>And then time to rack up some points on whatever players happen to be nearby and inconvenient! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lGhrxsiMA0c#t=27s)
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>"Repeat after Bob,'I will do as Bob says otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'"
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>Learn the following move set: Low Kick, Toxic, Slack Off, and Withdraw
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^^
Everything is going...dare I say it? EXACTLY AS PLANNED!
Now then...what to do next....Ah! I know!
>Upgrade the GP-02 to Tengen Toppa GP-02, with all the hotbloodedness and drills that implies.
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>Hijack Dormio's mind.
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"It's time to live up to my ambitions and face Full-Life Consequences!"
>Playing Generals one last time....GLA AMBUSH!!
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"I've got a fever, and the only cure is MORE. DANCING."
>Join PX in the ultimate DISCOOOO.
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>Drink health potion
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> Farm an Armlet
1: You start feeding. Within minutes, the other team all has Armlets. Nice going!
Dammit. Knew I should have grinded more.
There's only one thing that can help Shadoweh!
>Reincarnate Shadoweh into a prinny ...dood.
1-1: Reincarnate into prinny, check, dood!
You are now Prinny Schezo. Don't let anyone throw you!
> Wind, become a binding chain! WINDYYYYY (http://i44.tinypic.com/n3oy1y.jpg)
1: After several fruitless attempts, you forswear your cards. Stupid useless things.
> Construct a bolt of mass destruction.
2: All you can cobble together is a regular old bolt and a nasty smell.
Damn, Paint of all things... REVENGE!!
> Revive by brursting through smashy's body :3
3: You try to go all chestburster, but you just don't have the build for it. Someone needs to hit the gym. (-1 to your next roll)
>Prepare Alter Fortune
1: Curse of Impending Blades, Mass is like Alter Fortune, isn't it?
> Find the ingredients for the CATACLYSM MUFFIN
6: Ordinarily this would be an extremely foolish course of action, as one of the ingredients is the venom of an Elder Dragon that must be won in combat! But somehow you manage to circumvent this rule by challenging the Elder Dragon to a match of TF2 and winning! The Elder Dragon keeps swearing about lag, but hands over the venom.
Sadly, one command isn't enough to collect all the ingredients for the CATACLYSM MUFFIN. You'll still need the Black Wheat of Despair, pickled Beholder eyes, the Milk of the Twisted Abyss, and sugar from the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
> Resurrect with the power of JAZZ
4: You slide smoothly back into the land of the living, despite your body having exploded. Smooth, smooth jazz.
> FEVER TIME BABY!
3: Oh god you have a fever you feel so sick X( (-1 to your next roll)
>Expand into the biggest dairy farm in the netherworld.
4: You, through a cunning business plan reinforced with guile and natural acumen, buy out several competitors and are soon running one of the largest establishments in the joint. It's a good thing you're simply a dairy farmer, or some of the Overlords might take notice.
>Find a Heavy Lobster to defeat with Paint powers
3+1: Why, there's one right there! You dump some of your paint on it. It mostly vanishes, makes a few gurgling noises, and stops moving.
You have internalized the level 1 POISON PERFIDY: THE RED ONES, RIGHT?
>Pick the next poster's nose.
1: You pick your own nose. Ew!
> Wander through the forest.
2: You don't dare attract attention to yourself! You stay hidden in the trees.
>Bother the parser by wandering around his screen, blocking his view of various things on his computer, and randomly move windows around.
3+1: You ajshd stop doiadjbfk.sj that I'lla dkfajsdk
The parser moves you to the Recycle Bin.
Schezo is town and I'm scum? I.. I don't know what's going on anymore ;_;
> Recruit Kitten4u and UncertainKitten so I can finally have the Kitten QT I always wanted.
3: You attempt to recruit them for your unholy trinity. However, UK is busy prepping curses and it seems K4U isn't playing this game. Also UK slings another curse your way for asking. (-1 to your next roll)
cast lay on hands on self
3-1: You are not a paladin!
To attack on GM aren't easy task!
Soulfang shall known what'll happen to him when him's agains the GM's Rule!!!
> Use "Famicom" and add the "24K" labled cartridge into the console, resulting into great explosion that deal 24K damage to Soulfang!
He shall know that's aren't the cleaver ideal to massed with GM!
6: You attempt to cobble together a weapon from a Famicom and a cartridge. Strangely, it works! Sourfang must roll to dodge!
5: Sourfang's dairy mastery sneers at your feeble attacks. (+1 to Sourfang's next roll)
>Well then. Now it is tea time!
>Union Jack!
>Wailing Guitars!
>And then time to rack up some points on whatever players happen to be nearby and inconvenient! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=lGhrxsiMA0c#t=27s)
3+1: HM EH WOT
You briefly abandon your terror form and instead bring justice to your foes in the form of a Giant Robot! GM Potato must Roll to Dodge!
3: BIFF! A smashing hit, old chap! (-1 to GM Potato's next roll)
>"Repeat after Bob,'I will do as Bob says otherwise I get my goohuloog head kicked in.'"
2: Sadly you are not a troll, and your words seem to lack some of the...presence they would otherwise carry.
>Learn the following move set: Low Kick, Toxic, Slack Off, and Withdraw
4: Done. You are now a staller. Everyone hates you.
^^
Everything is going...dare I say it? EXACTLY AS PLANNED!
Now then...what to do next....Ah! I know!
>Upgrade the GP-02 to Tengen Toppa GP-02, with all the hotbloodedness and drills that implies.
2: Oh come on, that's just ridiculous. If you had Lagann it would be one thing, but you clearly don't! One mecha at a time for you.
>Hijack Dormio's mind.
1: Wherever your mind went, it wasn't Dormio's mind. You are now a vegetable.
"It's time to live up to my ambitions and face Full-Life Consequences!"
>Playing Generals one last time....GLA AMBUSH!!
6: You call in a GLA ambush. They are just in time to head off one of the armies heading this way! There is a quick and brutal slaughter.
Unfortunately, this means that the other army headed to the formerly grassy field is now unopposed. They seem to be confused by the invisible chest-high walls, though. This buys you some time.
"I've got a fever, and the only cure is MORE. DANCING."
>Join PX in the ultimate DISCOOOO.
1: You forswear Disco forever. You know you'll never match that time.
>Drink health potion
4: Mmm, tastes of strawberries and honey. You feel better. Desu_Cake has been healed!
m-a potion of healing
BUFFED
Orin
Sourfang
OUCHED
Ex-Nue
PX
Shadoweh
GM Potato
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(Pesco)
(rdj)
Edible
(Remilius)
(Amra)
Ex-Nue
PERMADEADED
-
-
Hmm. This needs more Spiral Energy then!
>Go find some Beastmen to pick a fight with in a hotblooded way until Spiral Energy happens. If I find a Rival who eventually becomes an Ally, then all the more awesome!
-
> Kasu being hidden? We must help with paint!
-
>Summon Satan
-
> Join the ganks and killsteal for Armlet money.
-
>Aquire the special prinny scarf so I don't explode dood!
-
>Become a dance ascetic, proposing the benefits of dance while abstaining from it myself.
-
Dammit Shim
>Cast Curse of Impending Blades, Mass, on a random selection of people within the range of the spell, self excluded
-
>Use last moments of Monoclebot time to grab Schezo and toss him at victims of UK's curse.
-
Oh, it's Day 5 already?
> Lynch Dormio
-
>Sit down for a spot of tea you old chap eh? Wot wot and all that.
-
> Get the power of instant-regeneration.
-
>Become an Overlord though the power of dairy!
-
> Channel the awesome powers of Boo Radley.
-
Didn't need those stupid Clow Cards to get my lutefisk anyway. >:<
> Open up the Horadric Lutefisk Cube and stuff people inside it!
-
>Get Misdreavus to challenge Desu Cake to a Pok?mon battle
-
>Look at the parser with moemoe eyes. He's bound to let me out if I stare at him long enough. How could he throw someone as adorable as I into the recycle bin?
-
The irony is I was just pubstomping in TF2 with a Direct Hit [Named the AntiCamp Cannon] and Buff Banner Soilder. Playing Touhou has somehow increased by Solly's aiming skills threefold!
And my ping was in the 20's :3
> Locate Black Wheat of Despair, armed with a sickle, a shotgun, and happy thoughts.
-
EA once planned for infantry capture, too bad.
>Until the USA arrives, capture all of the female players in the game(and their female partners if there are any), by means of tranquilizer darts and other brutal, unethical means and then transport them over through homebase via POW Truck.
-
Pardon my ignorance, but what does being bracketed in the "Deaded" section mean? allowed to revive on another successful roll?
-
Pardon my ignorance, but what does being bracketed in the "Deaded" section mean? allowed to revive on another successful roll?
Means you have been Deaded, but are currently not Deaded anymore. Note that being Deaded again will result in you being Permadeaded.
-
attempt to achieve all class levels and abilities
-
>Build giant robot to be used for world takeover, but not for use at the moment
-
>Bathe in insanity. Become Cthulhu.
-
>It's spelled foreswear, with an "e", Nimrod. Now let Bob squeeze your bobs.
-
That's pain... :o
But now Purvis aren't the god anymore! >:(
He shall know the wrath of the GM and taste my new skill...
> Use the skill "24K Strike" upon Purvis's Robot, Change them into the useless scrap! :flamingv:
*124K Strike mean the action that I done in previous post, Just insert 24K labled cartridge into the Famicom, Resulting into 24K damage explosion.
*2Also, My Famicom's name is "The Force of Century" and usable as my own weapon now :V
-
Hmm. This needs more Spiral Energy then!
>Go find some Beastmen to pick a fight with in a hotblooded way until Spiral Energy happens. If I find a Rival who eventually becomes an Ally, then all the more awesome!
1: You become an emotionless harbinger of the Anti-Spirals. You start by wrecking your mechs.
> Kasu being hidden? We must help with paint!
3: You attempt to sneak up on Kasu and help him stay hidden, but the soldiers in the forest see you! One of them shoots something at you! (-1 to your next roll)
>Summon Satan
1: You conjure up Mastema! He is at your disposal.
> Join the ganks and killsteal for Armlet money.
3: You attempt to gank, but they are so fed that you barely manage to dent them and escape! (-1 to your next roll)
>Aquire the special prinny scarf so I don't explode dood!
1: You obtain the Secret Prinny Scarf! This doubles your explosive radius and power!
>Become a dance ascetic, proposing the benefits of dance while abstaining from it myself.
4: You discourse at length about dance to anyone who will listen. Sadly, people are busy, but you've got a routine now.
Dammit Shim
>Cast Curse of Impending Blades, Mass, on a random selection of people within the range of the spell, self excluded
1: You cast it on yourself. Why'd you bother with the Mass version if you were only going to target one person? (-1 to your next roll)
>Use last moments of Monoclebot time to grab Schezo and toss him at victims of UK's curse.
4: Heave ho! Schezo must roll to dodge!
6: Oh dear. You fumble the tricky little bugger and he blows up in your face! Cho'Purvis must roll to dodge!
4: You just manage to evade the blast, though it's questionable if it would have done any damage as you immediately shimmer back into your gentleman horror form. The Secret Prinny Scarf also seems to help with reconstitution.
Oh, it's Day 5 already?
> Lynch Dormio
2-1: You attempt to organize a bandwagon, but get vigged instead. PX has died!
>Sit down for a spot of tea you old chap eh? Wot wot and all that.
2: Cho'Purvis seems to have drank it all, the dastard!
> Get the power of instant-regeneration.
6-1: Your body regenerates itself to full capacity. You're back! (+1 to your next roll)
>Become an Overlord though the power of dairy!
2+1: You begin to plot your ambitions, only to have a battle between Overlords several miles over destroy some of your farms. This sets you back considerably. (-1 to your next roll)
> Channel the awesome powers of Boo Radley.
1: You become a Boo. Don't look!
Didn't need those stupid Clow Cards to get my lutefisk anyway. >:<
> Open up the Horadric Lutefisk Cube and stuff people inside it!
2: The Cube is clearly not large enough for people!
>Get Misdreavus to challenge Desu Cake to a Pok?mon battle
3: You manage to wrangle this into happening, but you get one-shotted. (-1 to your next roll)
>Look at the parser with moemoe eyes. He's bound to let me out if I stare at him long enough. How could he throw someone as adorable as I into the recycle bin?
6: (http://i.imgur.com/C2gkU.png)
All right, you can come out now.
The irony is I was just pubstomping in TF2 with a Direct Hit [Named the AntiCamp Cannon] and Buff Banner Soilder. Playing Touhou has somehow increased by Solly's aiming skills threefold!
And my ping was in the 20's :3
> Locate Black Wheat of Despair, armed with a sickle, a shotgun, and happy thoughts.
1: You end up in a place that seems to be very lacking in despair. You have arrived at the Big Rock Candy Mountain.
EA once planned for infantry capture, too bad.
>Until the USA arrives, capture all of the female players in the game(and their female partners if there are any), by means of tranquilizer darts and other brutal, unethical means and then transport them over through homebase via POW Truck.
No. This is creepy.
attempt to achieve all class levels and abilities
4: You gain all the levels. All of them.
>Build giant robot to be used for world takeover, but not for use at the moment
6: You construct a robot so gigantic that it decides the world isn't worthy of it and flies off. You hear it muttering something about Unicron.
>Bathe in insanity. Become Cthulhu.
4: Your mind flies through twisted realms, finally wending its way back to your body. You don't become Cthulhu, but you do get a little...CRAAAAAAZY.
>It's spelled foreswear, with an "e", Nimrod. Now let Bob squeeze your bobs.
1: Don't you alternate spelling me. Just for that, you become She-Bob.
That's pain... :o
But now Purvis aren't the god anymore! >:(
He shall know the wrath of the GM and taste my new skill...
> Use the skill "24K Strike" upon Purvis's Robot, Change them into the useless scrap! :flamingv:
*124K Strike mean the action that I done in previous post, Just insert 24K labled cartridge into the Famicom, Resulting into 24K damage explosion.
*2Also, My Famicom's name is "The Force of Century" and usable as my own weapon now :V
1-1: Your 24K strike blows up in your face, destroying your Famicom and injuring you. (-1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Orin
Ex-Nue
OUCHED
UK
Pesco
Sourfang
Phlegeth
Smashy
Shadoweh
GM Potato
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(Pesco)
(rdj)
PX
Edible
(Remilius)
(Amra)
(Ex-Nue)
PERMADEADED
-
-
How the fuck did I blow up when I rolled 6 hax?!
>Call a Prinny bombing raid dood.
-
How the fuck did I blow up when I rolled 6 hax?!
Maybe you shouldn't have been wearing the Secret Prinny Scarf!
...but in fairness you're probably right. To the editmobile!
-
Oi! wot's with this 'ere stealin' of tea, deplorable I say! Deplorable!
>Create a tea emporium as to prevent this from ever happening again.
-
Anti-Spiral huh? Only one thing for it!
>Obtain the Book of Darkness. (Not the necronomicon, the one from Nanoha.)
-
> While we're here, eat some Big Rock Candy.
-
>Beat Guardian Tempest to death with Schezo for being a bore.
-
>Use reverse Growth power on Tempest to make him insignificant and easier for Purvis to beat down.
-
> Claim a regen rune.
-
Well this was predictable, to say the least :\
> I'm feeling lucky
-
Dang forgot to EV train.
>EV train HP and Def.
-
> People can't fit in the Cube? Cut 'em up!
-
>Penetrate someone
-
> Overthrow religions. Replace with curry.
-
Ah, me and my silly shemes.
>I need profits. Put up a black market selling extra danmaku parts and accessories.
-
> Float off, away from the armed people.
-
Um.
>try following it to "Unicron"
-
>Proceed to wreck the parser's desktop once more. Make sure to arrange all the desktop icons into the shape of a heart while I'm at it.
-
> Identify what exactly I was shot with. While fleeing from people that may or may not plan to shoot me more.
-
simple levels cannot suffice
use spell life steal on someone
-
Clearly I must refine my industry in order to acheive Overlord status.
>Expand dairy farm to include sheep, yak, whale, and catgirl.
-
>No Cthulhu? Self-Evolve into Azathoth! And then proceed to claim Dormio.
-
Dang!! I just blow myself face!!!
But it mean I can use 24K Strike as I want now, Not the fluke shot anymore. :V
> Repair my Force of Century to make it usable again.
-
>Order Mastema to persecute Sourfang for crimes against dairy
-
>Turn the other participants into some sort of she-he shim abominations.
-
How the fuck did I blow up when I rolled 6 hax?!
>Call a Prinny bombing raid dood.
4: You use the Prinny Raid technique, dood! UncertainKitten must roll to dodge!
6-1: UK dodges your explosive barrage. Seems her luck is picking back up! (+1 to UK's next roll)
Oi! wot's with this 'ere stealin' of tea, deplorable I say! Deplorable!
>Create a tea emporium as to prevent this from ever happening again.
4: Rather than seek vengeance, you take the gentlemanly route and open a tea emporium. Many varieties and exotic blends can be found here.
Anti-Spiral huh? Only one thing for it!
>Obtain the Book of Darkness. (Not the necronomicon, the one from Nanoha.)
1: You obtain the Necronomicon.
> While we're here, eat some Big Rock Candy.
2: You don't have the tools to mine any Big Rock Candy!
>Beat Guardian Tempest to death with Schezo for being a bore.
6: You slug the two into each other! Prinny Schezo and GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
6: Prinny Schezo explodes in retaliation! Cho'Purvis and GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
6: Cho'Purvis's monocle apparently protects him from explosive harm. Would have been good to know that earlier!
4: GuardianTempest is able to avoid the initial impact...
4: ...and the explosion as well!
>Use reverse Growth power on Tempest to make him insignificant and easier for Purvis to beat down.
1+1: Not only are you late to the party, but your spell fizzles out! Have you been playing Nightmist again?
> Claim a regen rune.
1: Sometimes you just need to take a step back.
You stop playing DotS.
Well this was predictable, to say the least :\
> I'm feeling lucky
1: No you're not. You have been cursed. Everything you touch turns to ashes!
Dang forgot to EV train.
>EV train HP and Def.
6-1: You now have an absurd amount of HP and Def. Your SpDef is still zero though. Whoops!
> People can't fit in the Cube? Cut 'em up!
6: You start humming "Try the Priest" with a manic look in your eyes! Prinny Schezo must roll to dodge!
2: Ouch! rdj takes a few bits off and cubes them into lutefisk! Prinny Schezo is seriously wounded!
>Penetrate someone
1+1: You don't look like an Ephraim recolor to me.
> Overthrow religions. Replace with curry.
6: You become the high priest of curry. Your time is spent ministering to the great Pots of Creation.
Ah, me and my silly shemes.
>I need profits. Put up a black market selling extra danmaku parts and accessories.
2: You can't start up any schemes if you can't spell it!
> Float off, away from the armed people.
1: You start floating towards the armed people. Luckily, they haven't noticed you yet. They seem to be busy shooting at someone.
Um.
>try following it to "Unicron"
1: You decide to get the hell away from Unicron, in the hopes that he doesn't devour your planet. You run into the trees.
>Proceed to wreck the parser's desktop once more. Make sure to arrange all the desktop icons into the shape of a heart while I'm at it.
4: You start moving icons around again, even managing to get a pattern going. The parser notes the heart, and moves you back to the recycle bin.
> Identify what exactly I was shot with. While fleeing from people that may or may not plan to shoot me more.
1-1: You're not sure what you were shot with, so you decide to go get shot a few more times for more data! Smashy has died!
simple levels cannot suffice
use spell life steal on someone
4: Learning from Ex-Nue's mistake, you decide to only steal life from one person. rdj must roll to dodge!
6: Probably shouldn't have attracted his attention! rdj tries to turn you into lutefisk chunks! Yog-N'yggoth must roll to dodge!
5: You quickly get out of range of the cleaver. Too close! You're on your guard now. (+1 to your next roll)
Clearly I must refine my industry in order to acheive Overlord status.
>Expand dairy farm to include sheep, yak, whale, and catgirl.
6-1: You now produce milk products from a variety of sources! (+1 to your next roll) Not catgirls, though. They're notoriously impossible to domesticate.
>No Cthulhu? Self-Evolve into Azathoth! And then proceed to claim Dormio.
5: You take the form of the Blind Idiot God, and seat yourself on his Black Throne at the center of Chaos. (+1 to your next roll) But the mindlessness of Azathoth makes it impossible to focus on something so insignificant as Dormio.
Dang!! I just blow myself face!!!
But it mean I can use 24K Strike as I want now, Not the fluke shot anymore. :V
> Repair my Force of Century to make it usable again.
6-1: You spend a little time and get it up and running again. Careful this time! (+1 to your next roll)
>Order Mastema to persecute Sourfang for crimes against dairy
5: You send the angel to unleash divine wrath upon Sourfang! Sourfang must roll to dodge!
2+1: Sourfang's infernal power has grown strong indeed. While injured, he is not grievously harmed. Mastema returns, ready to carry out your next command. (+1 to your next roll)
>Turn the other participants into some sort of she-he shim abominations.
1: You mutate further, becoming Shebomshim. You are nearing Azathoth levels of eldritch horror.
BUFFED
Orin
Yog-N'yggoth
GM Potato
Desu_Cake
Ex-Nue
Nanaya Kikasu
OUCHED
Sourfang
Shadoweh
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Prinny Schezo
DEADED
(Pesco)
(rdj)
PX
Edible
Smashy
(Remilius)
(Amra)
(Ex-Nue)
PERMADEADED
-
-
> Call the parser a noob for confusing DotA with DotS.
-
> Call the parser a noob for confusing DotA with DotS.
screw you
-
They're the same thing.
>Push Shadoweh into traffic!
-
> Locate a Lutefisk Statue to donate these fishy morsels to! Surely I will get an artifact of power that will allow me to bring the Lutefisk God more!
-
> Proceed in search for Black Wheat of Dispair
-
oh im buffed?
>Counterattack. And by counterattack i mean hit someone with a cabinet. A loaded one.
-
I can't take this abuse dood!
>Use the Prinny Dance on rdj dood!
-
Oh dear, it seems I have somehow managed to forget a thing of utmost importance.
>Acquire top hat.
-
> Burn them all
-
> Laugh (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eZVS7Q3aRg)
-
>Find Dusk Stone and give it to Misdreavus
-
Well that turned out better than expected.
>Force curry down everyone's throats. With numerous hoses.
-
>Call upon Morcombe, Slant & Honeyplace to sue Death, bringing Edible back to life in exchange for a random living person.
-
Blarghl.
>Find the Computer room
-
> Make sure previous possessions are properly cursed.
-
>Launch SCUD Storm. (I hate not having enough time to make better posts)
-
>Launch dairy-themed attacks at everyone who attacked anyone else. Except Ex-Nue. Drop a whale on his head.
-
>The parser refuses to pay any attention to me? Fine then. Sneak out of the recycle bin and crawl into the registry. Begin deleting keys at random.
-
>Revive Nachislam to fight the scourge of this new curry based worship!
-
PRINNY!
> Turn Schezo into a hat and wear him proudly as my first mislynch.
-
>SheBobShim will now flex its guns.
-
>Order Mastema to destroy the heathen religions.
-
>Insignificant? No task is too Insignificant for the Blind Idiot God. Combine self with Cthulhu and proceed to find Shadoweh from the depths of ultimate Chaos!
-
> Burn them all
Well that turned out better than expected.
>Force curry down everyone's throats. With numerous hoses.
>Launch SCUD Storm. (I hate not having enough time to make better posts)
>Launch dairy-themed attacks at everyone who attacked anyone else. Except Ex-Nue. Drop a whale on his head.
Oh man... You're just have so high bounty for the aggressive action in game... :V
In the name of GM... I shall finish you all to become Game Over!!! :flamingv:
> Use my Force of Century , Insert Mario,Bomberman and Contra Cartridges.
Result in to the field around them to have any hazard in those inserted games.
And all hero's attacks,options and powerups in games are mine! I can use it to strike them freely!
Know the wrath of the GM and Famicom's game!!
-
> Call the parser a noob for confusing DotA with DotS.
3: You call the parser a noob. The parser says screw you. (-1 to your next roll)
They're the same thing.
>Push Shadoweh into traffic!
5: Time to cleanse this field of ruffians! Shadoweh must roll to dodge!
5-1: Your prowess is thwarted, but you're nonetheless ready to take on all comers! What ho! (+1 to your next roll)
> Locate a Lutefisk Statue to donate these fishy morsels to! Surely I will get an artifact of power that will allow me to bring the Lutefisk God more!
1: Your murderous ways suddenly sicken you, and you swear off lutefisk forever. It was bad for you anyway. And it smelled funny.
> Proceed in search for Black Wheat of Dispair
1: You find a bag of Big Rock Candy Sugar. It is guarded by a burly shopkeeper, who demands payment.
oh im buffed?
>Counterattack. And by counterattack i mean hit someone with a cabinet. A loaded one.
2+1: You pick up a loaded cabinet from the cabaret, but a bottle of Cabernet falls out and hits you on the head. Ouch! (-1 to your next roll)
I can't take this abuse dood!
>Use the Prinny Dance on rdj dood!
4: You attempt to inflict rdj with a whole slew of status ailments in a particularly silly manner! rdj must roll to dodge!
2: rdj has been poisoned, paralyzed, and hit with amnesia! rdj is seriously wounded!
Oh dear, it seems I have somehow managed to forget a thing of utmost importance.
>Acquire top hat.
1: You put on a backwards baseball cap. It makes you look like a doofus.
> Burn them all
3+1: You burn all of them! All the ants with a magnifying glass! Hahahahaha! (You horrible person.)
> Laugh (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eZVS7Q3aRg)
3: You try to laugh, but smoke from the burning ants catches in your throat. You cough and retch for about five minutes solid. (-1 to your next roll)
>Find Dusk Stone and give it to Misdreavus
1: You give Misdreavus a Shiny Stone. Misdreavus is not impressed.
Well that turned out better than expected.
>Force curry down everyone's throats. With numerous hoses.
4: ALL SHALL BE CURRIED FOR THE GOOD OF ALL
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!
>Call upon Morcombe, Slant & Honeyplace to sue Death, bringing Edible back to life in exchange for a random living person.
2: Mr. Slant explains that while his firm can be retained by clients from beyond the grave, there are still certain policies in force. One is that they will never perform the Rite of AshkEnte.
Blarghl.
>Find the Computer room
1: You discover a clearing in the forest. There are odd rock formations scattered around. You get the feeling there's some kind of pattern here...
> Make sure previous possessions are properly cursed.
2: a - A +0 Scale Mail
Wait, that's not cursed at all!
>Launch SCUD Storm. (I hate not having enough time to make better posts)
2: With your black market plans falling through, you don't have the missiles on hand for this.
>Launch dairy-themed attacks at everyone who attacked anyone else. Except Ex-Nue. Drop a whale on his head.
5-1: You send out your minions! Cho'Purvis, Prinny Schezo, Ex-Nue and Remilius must roll to dodge!
5+1: Cho'Purvis flexes, charming your dairy minions and sending them to counterattack! Sourfang must roll to dodge!
4: Prinny Schezo is a prinny, and is not terribly susceptible to dairy.
1: Ex-Nue is crushed by a Whalekana! <('_________________________')> Ex-Nue has lost the game!
5: Remilius is protected from dairy by a curry shield! (+1 to your next roll)
5: Sourfang cannot be defeated by his own weapons. He eats them instead and powers up! (+1 to your next roll)
>The parser refuses to pay any attention to me? Fine then. Sneak out of the recycle bin and crawl into the registry. Begin deleting keys at random.
3: You try to sneak into the registry, but the parser catches you and moves you to a USB drive. Which he then unplugs. (-1 to your next roll)
>Revive Nachislam to fight the scourge of this new curry based worship!
1: You become a devoted adherent of the Way of Curry!
PRINNY!
> Turn Schezo into a hat and wear him proudly as my first mislynch.
4: You've always wanted a prinny hat! Prinny Schezo must roll to dodge!
6: It turns out Prinny Schezo has always wanted a Shadoweh hat! :ohdear: Shadoweh must roll to dodge!
6: You get into a furious hat debate and settle for simply draping Prinny Schezo over your head. D'awwwwww. :3
>SheBobShim will now flex its guns.
1: Shebobshim doesn't use guns! Shebobshim uses hand-crafted kama!
You swing your hand-crafted kama around a bit. Still got it.
>Order Mastema to destroy the heathen religions.
6+1: You send out your angel to crush the heathens - starting with the High Priest himself! Remilius must roll to dodge!
2+1: The curry shield is powerful, but weaknening. (-1 to Remilius's next roll)
>Insignificant? No task is too Insignificant for the Blind Idiot God. Combine self with Cthulhu and proceed to find Shadoweh from the depths of ultimate Chaos!
1+1: You are too mind-rendingly powerful to combine with Cthulhu!
Oh man... You're just have so high bounty for the aggressive action in game... :V
In the name of GM... I shall finish you all to become Game Over!!! :flamingv:
> Use my Force of Century , Insert Mario,Bomberman and Contra Cartridges.
Result in to the field around them to have any hazard in those inserted games.
And all hero's attacks,options and powerups in games are mine! I can use it to strike them freely!
Know the wrath of the GM and Famicom's game!!
2+1: You try to jam the other cartridges in there, but you only manage to shock yourself. Ouch! (-1 to your next roll)
UK: 3: As only a recent devotee of the Curry, you still cannot handle the heat all that well. (-1 to your next roll)
Pesco: 1-1: FLAMING CURRY DEATH! Pesco has lost the game!
rdj: 3: It's a good thing curry isn't a status ailment, you've got enough of those. (-1 to your next roll)
PX: 5: Being dead, you don't have much of an appetite for curry. But it does smell nice... (+1 to your next roll)
Hanzo: 5: Your dark book repels the curry influence as it fills you with power. (+1 to your next roll)
Sourfang: 2+1: Your dairy aegis is of limited use against this much curry! (-1 to your next roll)
Orin: 2+1: Guess the Blazing Hells aren't as hot as this! (-1 to your next roll)
Phlegeth: 5: Apparently your ability is Flash Fire! (+1 to your next roll)
Edible: 3: Your necrotizing flesh is not helped by having curry dumped on it. (-1 to your next roll)
Kasu: 5-1: You're too far away for the curry hoses to get you! Floating is nice.
Smashy: 4: That +0 Scale Mail gives you just enough AC to not be curried.
Marokuu: 3: Backwards baseball caps do nothing to protect against curry! (-1 to your next roll)
Shadoweh: 1: Hard to dodge when you've got a prinny on your head. :( Shadoweh has died!
Allowsawyou: 6: You intimidate the minions with the Cataclysm Muffin Pan and send them scurrying back at their master! Remilius must roll to dodge!
4: Remilius is able to reassert control once they're no longer facing the dread baking implement.
Ran: 1: The curry shorts out the USB stick! Ran has died!
Prinny Schezo: 6: You explode violently, fueled by curry! Remilius must roll to dodge!
4: That is one damn impressive curry shield.
Cho'Purvis: 3: I say, good fellow, could I trouble you for a glass of water? Please? (-1 to your next roll)
Shebobshim: 5: Your hand-crafted kama keep the curry at bay. (+1 to your next roll)
Yog-N'yggoth: 2-1: Still woozy from being hit on the head, you unknowingly consume the Curry of Damnation! Yog'N'yggoth has died!
GM Potato: 1-1: Your cartridges will not save you. GM Potato has died!
Desu_Cake: 3: Mastema expends the last of his time protecting you from the worst of the curry before departing back to his realm. It still burns. (-1 to your next roll)
Amra: 4: You are too concerned with dance to have any curry.
GT: 2: All your plans crumble around you! GuardianTempest is seriously wounded!
Nanaya Kikasu: 6: WHAT FOOL DARES ATTEMPT TO CURRY AN ELDER ONE
Remilius must roll to dodge!
4: God damn where can I get a curry shield like that.
Kinoko: 3: Just standin' around like a bloody fruit shop owner! (-1 to your next roll)
Spiderpig: 2: Distracted by the stones, you suddenly feel the presence of aaaaaaaarghhhgahghgrrggrghhhhh! Spiderpig has been seriously wounded!
BUFFED
PX
Hanzo
Phlegeth
Shebobshim
OUCHED
UK
rdj
Sourfang
Orin
Edible
Marokuu
Cho'Purvis
Desu_Cake
Kinoko
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Prinny Schezo
GuardianTempest
Spiderpig
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible
Smashy
Shadoweh
Ran
(Remilius)
Yog-N'yggoth
GM Potato
(Amra)
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
what have you done Remilius
-
>Attack Remilius with yrruc!
-
> Get myself banned from Battle.net
-
>Become High Priestess of Curry, spread religion all over the game, use curry pow
der to prepare spells
-
>Conspicuously set a Prinny Bomb on Remilius' head, dood.
-
Oh my gawd Ex-Nue's dead again, by Paint and by Whale
> Convince burly man I earnt the candy by saving Candy Mountain from Curry.
-
>Hop into Runabout and run over GuardianTempest, what!
-
> Consume some curry anyway. Spicy food is freaking awesome.
-
> Upgrade to Plateofcurry Mail
-
>Naturally, I have myself backed up in multiple instances of the parser's computer. Load one of these states.
-
Wow, killed by a whale. :<
-
> What is this wicked sorcery? Throw down
hat cap in disgust.
-
>Hide in the Command Center and lick my wounds, metaphorically speaking and get the 'Fortified Structures' upgrade too.
-
> Consume a soft green echo eyedrop antidote.
-
pfargtl
>Recover ASAP
-
obtain my carefully planned lichdom and take my revenge
-
Did not like the Shiny Stone, huh?
>Spa day to increase happiness! Spa day for everyone!
-
>Acquire a mature adult radiant dragon, and a mature adult silver dragon, as guardians of my farm. And wives.
-
>Accept that you're probably not coming back to life anytime soon. Attempt coming back to unlife instead!
-
>Rend the very existence of the world beside Dormio in half, pulling him into the center of ultimate chaos and engage in a friendly game of mahjong.
-
>Attack for 1d6+808 damage.
-
HOLY CRAP!!!
HOW DARE THOSE CURRY KILLED GM!!! >:(
But I'm still have the backup.
> Order the clan of Pieislamism (The clan that accept the awesomeness of both Pie and Nachos that I'm the Founder in last RtD)
Make they bring me back to life for Remilius's slaughter for keep the Rule of the GM and to punish him because he's kill too many peoples.
-
Dear god what have I done. I didn't expect curry to be so powerful! :ohdear:
> Blatantly use my turn to defend myself with the rising power of the currychurch to survive incoming lynch. Not in order to come back a few turns later and curry people up again when they've forgotten about me or anything like that, I swear.
-
I guess you could say that you're trying to...curry some favor with the others, Remilius.
-
>Attack Remilius with yrruc!
4-1: You use the power of gnilleps sdrawkcab to attack Remilius in vengeance! But his curry aura forces you back! (-1 to your next roll)
> Get myself banned from Battle.net
You are now banned from Battle.net, and Lynched as well.
>Become High Priestess of Curry, spread religion all over the game, use curry powder to prepare spells
4-1: You attempt to join the priesthood and become Remilius's second, but you still cannot handle the heat of the High Curry. (-1 to your next roll)
>Conspicuously set a Prinny Bomb on Remilius' head, dood.
1: You're all out of mp, dood! You drape a blanket over your head instead.
Oh my gawd Ex-Nue's dead again, by Paint and by Whale
> Convince burly man I earnt the candy by saving Candy Mountain from Curry.
1: The shopkeeper glares at you, and explains that this was their annual delivery of curry for their religious holiday, which you ruined. Everyone on the Big Rock Candy Mountain now considers you an enemy.
>Hop into Runabout and run over GuardianTempest, what!
3-1: The engine won't start! Blast it all!
> Consume some curry anyway. Spicy food is freaking awesome.
3: You'd think you'd have learned from everyone else, but you decide to try the curry yourself. It burns!! (-1 to your next roll)
> Upgrade to Plateofcurry Mail
2: You're finding it difficult to upgrade your mail, what with you being dead and all.
>Naturally, I have myself backed up in multiple instances of the parser's computer. Load one of these states.
6: You load a state. You load it so hard you burst out of the program Kool-Aid Man style! OH YEAH! You now have access to the internet. Ran has revived!
> What is this wicked sorcery? Throw down hat cap in disgust.
2-1: You jam your hat onto your head so hard you start to feel woozy from blood loss.
>Hide in the Command Center and lick my wounds, metaphorically speaking and get the 'Fortified Structures' upgrade too.
1: This is no time for turtling! You set out straight for the Great Temple of Curry!
> Consume a soft green echo eyedrop antidote.
3-1: You procure a soft green echo eyedrop antidote, but it's past the expiration date. You didn't even know these had expiration dates!
pfargtl
>Recover ASAP
1: HLURK! You cough up a lung. Literally. You manage to asphyxiate and fall unconscious due to blood loss at the same time! Spiderpig has died!
obtain my carefully planned lichdom and take my revenge
2: Among the levels that you gained were an Undead Hunter class! You can't become a lich now!
Did not like the Shiny Stone, huh?
>Spa day to increase happiness! Spa day for everyone!
5+1: You set up a spa and are soon doing a roaring trade! Everyone has been healed!
>Acquire a mature adult radiant dragon, and a mature adult silver dragon, as guardians of my farm. And wives.
4-1: You attempt to convince some other dragons to join you, but they require a test of your strength, one you sadly cannot pass. (-1 to your next roll)
>Accept that you're probably not coming back to life anytime soon. Attempt coming back to unlife instead!
5-1: WIIIIIIIISE FWOM THE GWAAAAAAAAVE
Edible has become a zombie!
>Rend the very existence of the world beside Dormio in half, pulling him into the center of ultimate chaos and engage in a friendly game of mahjong.
4: You corrupt all of existence with your power, attempting to draw Dormio to you! Ran must roll to dodge!
2: He is pulled to the center of chaos. This does bad things to a person! Ran is seriously wounded!
>Attack for 1d6+808 damage.
1+1: Your handcrafted kama do 1d8 damage. Honestly!
HOLY CRAP!!!
HOW DARE THOSE CURRY KILLED GM!!! >:(
But I'm still have the backup.
> Order the clan of Pieislamism (The clan that accept the awesomeness of both Pie and Nachos that I'm the Founder in last RtD)
Make they bring me back to life for Remilius's slaughter for keep the Rule of the GM and to punish him because he's kill too many peoples.
1: Your religion has abandoned you. Your followers have forsaken you. And as you stand in death, you know that your stay is absolute and your time is eternity. GM Potato has lost the game!
Dear god what have I done. I didn't expect curry to be so powerful! :ohdear:
> Blatantly use my turn to defend myself with the rising power of the currychurch to survive incoming lynch. Not in order to come back a few turns later and curry people up again when they've forgotten about me or anything like that, I swear.
1: You issue an open challenge to prove the supremacy of curry to all! Hundreds come to take potshots at you! Remilius must roll to dodge!
1: Alas, curry's favor is fickle indeed. As he rose, so he fell. Remilius has lost the game!
The soldiers have found their way past the invisible walls. They call out for everyone to stop and raise their hands in the air, and ready their weapons! Barring any developments, everyone still in the grassy field must roll to dodge at the end of the next update!
BUFFED
PX
Hanzo
OUCHED
Desu_Cake
UK
Kasu
Sourfang
Orin
Kinoko
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Ran
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
Shadoweh
(Ran)
Yog-N'yggoth
(Amra)
Spiderpig
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
I guess you could say that you're trying to...curry some favor with the others, Remilius.
do you know HOW MANY TIMES I have refrained from making that joke
-
Bah, curry? Child's play.
>Show the world how futile it is to try to best the anti-spirals. Reveal to them, the Anti-Spiral's Curry!
-
> Shake it like I just don't care
-
Perfect!!! :V
I'm become the ABSOLUTE "Game Over" now...
No Continue anymore...
But... why the ending is so bad.... die because curry...
> Change the name of lost the game and permadead statue into "Game Over" statue instead...
-
Well, I guess that works.
> Play the Ode to Booze on my Trickster's Trikitixa, to make the soldiers want alcohol rather than violence
-
> The moment the soldiers order me to put my hands behind my head, proceed to shed my old skin and reveal my true form, like in Men in Black.
Unless that gets subverted, in which case >Go find that mahjong game
-
...
Well then.
>Hope that Shikieiki judges me well
-
>Now to use this blanket and my tiny wings to take flight dood. To the Dark Assembly to reincarnate into something better dood. I did my time dood!
-
I was expecting some horrible rolls after rolling about 5 consecutive 4's in the last update, but that was particularly bad.
But hey, that was fun while it lasted. Quite fun. I hope nobody holds a grudge against me for that :3
> Watch the rest of the game from Higan. Surely after such a scandal my religion will not be forgotten after my fall, and my followers will make sure that the world eventually takes the path of the curry.
-
HELL YES. I've learned it ain't spicy if it doesn't burn my mouth in some way, so that's a good thing.
> Search for more spicy foods! My hunger can't be satiated with just this.
-
> They already consider me an enemy. RUN AWAY WITH THE BAG OF CANDY!
-
>Gain power from Remilius' heroic sacrifice in the name of curry! Take rightful place as Goddess of Curry and claim conscientious objector to violence. Particularly violence from soldiers.
-
>Oh, damn it. Internet. I wanted to be productive. Ah well, I was on the parser's computer, I should know how to contact him. s3nd t3h p4r53r lyek t0+a1ly 4ll teh spamz0rz. Gotta take it easy whilst recovering.
-
>Fly so high in the sky
-
With the power of this cap I will become totally street yo'
>Start tearing some sick raps up in this bizznich. Blinging and so forth, yes.
-
>What now?
-
>Alright freedom fighters! Raid the Curry Temple for the cause!
-
>THEY DARE THREATEN AN ELDER ONE? DISPOSE OF THEM INTO THE REALM OF COSMIC HORRORS.
-
hey man if i can be a paladin deathknight druid i can be a lich without any repercussions
also revive in a different plain of existence just to be on the safe sife
plane even
-
>Invest heavily in the East India Company; dominate the curry market and warp it to the disadvantage of my foes. He who controls the spice...
-
>Having been foiled by catgirl, domesticate the underrated Doggirl instead.
-
>SheBobShim attempts a Grapple check against everyone.
-
>Thriller dance! Everyone is invited.
-
I should have known wearing a Prinny wasn't safe. I blame you Schezo!
> Realize it was all a terrible dream. Wake up in my nightgown and cap!
-
Bah, curry? Child's play.
>Show the world how futile it is to try to best the anti-spirals. Reveal to them, the Anti-Spiral's Curry!
4+1: You reveal the curry of despair. Its burning feeling settles like lead into your stomach driving you into a mindless depression. Or it would, if you weren't used to the stuff. You find it delicious. (+1 to your next roll)
> Shake it like I just don't care
More like I just don't care, dead one!
Perfect!!! :V
I'm become the ABSOLUTE "Game Over" now...
No Continue anymore...
But... why the ending is so bad.... die because curry...
> Change the name of lost the game and permadead statue into "Game Over" statue instead...
I'll change your name to game over! >:(
Well, I guess that works.
> Play the Ode to Booze on my Trickster's Trikitixa, to make the soldiers want alcohol rather than violence
3: You play a few strains of the Ode to Booze, and some of the soldiers are stuck with a sudden craving for alcohol. They drink what they have and start smacking you around, demanding more. (-1 to your next roll)
> The moment the soldiers order me to put my hands behind my head, proceed to shed my old skin and reveal my true form, like in Men in Black.
Unless that gets subverted, in which case >Go find that mahjong game
2: Sadly you are already in your true form, unless you mean your skeleton, and while you are dead you are not yet undead!
...
Well then.
>Hope that Shikieiki judges me well
1: The Yama finds you wanting! Your soul is sent to the Blazing Hells!
>Now to use this blanket and my tiny wings to take flight dood. To the Dark Assembly to reincarnate into something better dood. I did my time dood!
4: You've racked up enough mana to reincarnate, dood! You are now a level 1 average Gunner.
I was expecting some horrible rolls after rolling about 5 consecutive 4's in the last update, but that was particularly bad.
But hey, that was fun while it lasted. Quite fun. I hope nobody holds a grudge against me for that :3
> Watch the rest of the game from Higan. Surely after such a scandal my religion will not be forgotten after my fall, and my followers will make sure that the world eventually takes the path of the curry.
Your death right after challenging to prove curry's might was ill-timed. Your religion is finished.
HELL YES. I've learned it ain't spicy if it doesn't burn my mouth in some way, so that's a good thing.
> Search for more spicy foods! My hunger can't be satiated with just this.
5-1: You float on your way, eventually dropping into a chili competition. Someone hands you a bowl, and drops a double handful of Scotch Bonnets on top.
> They already consider me an enemy. RUN AWAY WITH THE BAG OF CANDY!
4: What's that behind you, burly shopkeep man?!
You successfully escape with the bag of Big Rock Candy Sugar. That's two! You'll still need the Black Wheat of Despair, pickled Beholder eyes, and the Milk of the Twisted Abyss.
>Gain power from Remilius' heroic sacrifice in the name of curry! Take rightful place as Goddess of Curry and claim conscientious objector to violence. Particularly violence from soldiers.
2-1: After Remilius's fall, you feel as if your eyes have been opened. What folly, this curry madness! You change your name to Fall-from-graceKitten and depart on a pilgrimage to uncover the real truth of curry and the gods.
>Oh, damn it. Internet. I wanted to be productive. Ah well, I was on the parser's computer, I should know how to contact him. s3nd t3h p4r53r lyek t0+a1ly 4ll teh spamz0rz. Gotta take it easy whilst recovering.
1: You upload Azathoth's contact data to 4chan. This ought to be good.
>Fly so high in the sky
6-1: You see a butterfly in the sky! But you know that you can fly twice as hiiiiiigh!
But don't take my word for it - take a look, it's in this book!
You fly off into the sky in search of a rainbow. (+1 to your next roll)
With the power of this cap I will become totally street yo'
>Start tearing some sick raps up in this bizznich. Blinging and so forth, yes.
4: You fiddle with your cap and bust out some sick rhymes. The parser apologizes for being horrible at rap and invites you to fill it in yourself.
>What now?
2: You tell me, genius!
>Alright freedom fighters! Raid the Curry Temple for the cause!
2: The Curry Temple has been looted, its grandeur cast down, its holy places sacked and its priests slain. Woe, for the fall of curry has come, and its desolation is absolute. The maidens weep in the street, for its spice is no more; young men and old, even babes and the eldest among them, they mourn the curry in the street, crying "Where is the fire, the curry in which we placed our hope?" (Curry Lamentations, 2:3-5)
>THEY DARE THREATEN AN ELDER ONE? DISPOSE OF THEM INTO THE REALM OF COSMIC HORRORS.
2: Mahjong takes precedence!
hey man if i can be a paladin deathknight druid i can be a lich without any repercussions
also revive in a different plain of existence just to be on the safe sife
plane even
5: You come back to life on the Plain Plains. Sadly, you seem to have lost your class levels. You feel like this was a cheap setup for a sequel with the same main character and briefly contemplate changing your name to Shepard. On the plus side, you have the Revive buff now! (+1 to your next roll)
>Invest heavily in the East India Company; dominate the curry market and warp it to the disadvantage of my foes. He who controls the spice...
3: You get into the spice futures market, but a bad loan early on forces you to back out of it, thankfully with one kneecap still intact. (-1 to your next roll)
>Having been foiled by catgirl, domesticate the underrated Doggirl instead.
5-1: You now have a pet dog. She is female and very friendly! She licks your hand a few times.
>SheBobShim attempts a Grapple check against everyone.
1: You completely fail to hold onto anything and begin rising up into the air! In the void left by the fall of curry, there is an excess of belief, and some of it begins to coalesce around you! IA! IA! SHEBOBSHIM!
>Thriller dance! Everyone is invited.
2: Brains.
I should have known wearing a Prinny wasn't safe. I blame you Schezo!
> Realize it was all a terrible dream. Wake up in my nightgown and cap!
6: You wake up in the grassy field! You shiver and pull off your cap. It's a prinny.
nooooooooooooooooooo (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2jUhnCU9iA)
The soldiers open fire!
rdj: 5-1: You moxiously evade their shots. Oh, what moxie!
Hanzo: 4+1: You absorb their shots into a shield for yourself. Pitiful fools. (+1 to your next roll)
Orin: 3-1: You haven't been doing anything and get shot a bunch of times! Orin is seriously wounded!
Phlegeth: 4: Your stupid high defense stat means you don't even feel these.
Edible: 5: Brains. You get some from the nearest soldier. (+1 to your next brains)
Marokuu: 4: Your cap makes the soldiers mistake you for a kid who got lost in a bad place. They don't shoot you!
Shadoweh: 6: You just go deeper every time a shot is about to reach you.
Schezo: 4: As a Gunner, you are endowed with ridiculous accuracy and reflexes and dodge the few stray shots that come your way.
Cho'Purvis: 6-1: What absolutely terrible form! You consume the mortal flesh of one of the men and send his soul screaming to the void for the impertinence! (+1 to your next roll)
Shebobshim: 4: Your newly developing divinity protects you well!
Amra: 5: You dance past every shot! (+1 to your next roll)
Kinoko: 1-1: You watch with some interest as you get shot in the head. Kinoko has died!
Momijibot: 5: You don't know what to do now, but you do know that dying is bad! You throw up a quick wall of force and hey, that was pretty cool, actually. (+1 to your next roll)
The soldiers cease firing, shocked at the minimal damage inflicted, and flee the field. You can't help but feel they'll be back, though...
BUFFED
PX
Desu_Cake
Yog'N'yggoth
Hanzo
Edible
Cho'Purvis
Amra
Momijibot
OUCHED
-
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Ran
Orin
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
(Yog-N'yggoth)
(Amra)
Spiderpig
Kinoko
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
-
> Claim First of the Permadead
-
>Appear out of nowhere from being Put On a Bus and herald a new era of DAAAAANNNNNNNNNNCE.
-
> Continue search for the Black Wheat of Despair
-
Gunner is a nice choice. Thank ya senator.
>Practice my marksmanship on a nearby person to level up.
-
> Place rainbow in bottle
-
>Buy real estate in Kadeth.
-
>Realize that I am terrible at rapping and throw down cap in disgust.
-
> Consume chili, becoming the Chili Boo.
-
> Insert Coin to Continue
-
Hah! Silly soldiers cannot kill me!
> Play Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority for myself.
-
There is only one thing to do here.
>Go find Schezo again and wear him on my Schezo-cap.
-
> Claim First of the Permadead
>Claim First of the dignified Permadead.
-
>Produce an heir to my dairy empire.
-
>Hmmm, take all of the beautiful maidens, they're the last things of value here. Especially the cute ones who look like they're too innocent for everything.
-
>Being a zombie is a lonesome existence. Recruit some friends! Preferably by feasting on their head meats.
-
>Push GuardianTempest off a cliff in the course of my pilgrimage. The gods may consider it a sacrifice
-
>Take it easy whilst recovering. Preferably by deleting everything related to Shebobshim off the parser's computer from a remote location.
-
>Chase the soldiers down!
-
BARF
>Become some Fire Zombie Ghost...some Youkai involving Fire at least.
-
>Well, living tends to work. Study under the elder ones in self defence.
-
>Win Dormio in a game of Mahjong with an awesome Rising Sun. Then send him back into the Parser's PC.
-
Bob is becoming more and more abominable through 1's.
>Behold, the Genericness of SheBobShim!
-
considering how the life expectancy of a lich is oddly short with heroes and shit might as well take everyone with you
>soul steal all players
-
Yeah! Loser shall silent they mouth... :X
> Slowly vanish into the non-existance world, forever untill next RtD game... :X
-
>Hmmm, take all of the beautiful maidens, they're the last things of value here. Especially the cute ones who look like they're too innocent for everything.
Stop this. Theshim already denied you this sort of action once.
-
> Claim First of the Permadead
You are the First. You lead the Permadead into the future of glorious nothing.
>Appear out of nowhere from being Put On a Bus and herald a new era of DAAAAANNNNNNNNNNCE.
2+1: You attempt to espouse the ways of Dance once more, but a couple of the fleeing soldiers take the chance to put a few shots in you. (-1 to your next roll)
> Continue search for the Black Wheat of Despair
1: You find yourself at the entrance to the Underdark. No wheat grows here, but there are other things, in the dark, waiting...
Gunner is a nice choice. Thank ya senator.
>Practice my marksmanship on a nearby person to level up.
4: You take a quick shot! Marokuu must roll to dodge!
2: Gutshot! Marokuu is seriously wounded!
> Place rainbow in bottle
2+1: You try to bottle the rainbow, but LeVar Burton shoots you with a phaser. Should've seen that one coming. (-1 to your next roll)
>Buy real estate in Kadeth.
4+1: You now own a small house in Iowa. The place was nice and cheap, and you don't even have a mortgage! (+1 to your next roll)
>Realize that I am terrible at rapping and throw down cap in disgust.
5: You hurl the baseball cap down. Suddenly you can feel blood rush back to your head again! Woo! (+1 to your next roll)
> Consume chili, becoming the Chili Boo.
1: You become an Ice Boo. You can now freeze small targets, as long as they're not looking at you!
> Insert Coin to Continue
2: Death's coin entry machine is on the fritz. He apologizes.
Hah! Silly soldiers cannot kill me!
> Play Stevedave's Shanty of Superiority for myself.
2: You're out of mana!
There is only one thing to do here.
>Go find Schezo again and wear him on my Schezo-cap.
3: You go to find Schezo, but this takes you through the Twisted Abyss. You feel your mind unravel slightly. (-1 to your next roll) Fortunately, the Twisted Abyss seems to wreck enough of your mind that it snaps you out of Shadowehception.
>Claim First of the dignified Permadead.
You follow Pesco, but make sure your top hat is properly placed first.
>Produce an heir to my dairy empire.
5: You engage in forbidden research, sacrificing the lives of many, but it's the netherworld so no one really cares. You manage to splice some of your genes with that of several powerful demons. Your child will be born in a few months, but you can rest easily knowing that should the worst occur, all is prepared. (+1 to your next roll)
>Hmmm, take all of the beautiful maidens, they're the last things of value here. Especially the cute ones who look like they're too innocent for everything.
Get out.
>Being a zombie is a lonesome existence. Recruit some friends! Preferably by feasting on their head meats.
3+1: Shadoweh's head meats are pulsating with some delicious-looking energy! Food time! Shadoweh must roll to dodge!
6-1: Nooooo you need that head to put Schezo onnnnnn (+1 to your next roll)
>Push GuardianTempest off a cliff in the course of my pilgrimage. The gods may consider it a sacrifice
3: You slip and tumble down the cliff yourself. Your pilgrimage is off to a poor start. (-1 to your next roll)
>Take it easy whilst recovering. Preferably by deleting everything related to Shebobshim off the parser's computer from a remote location.
1: You download the full Shebobshim archive and spend hours binging on it. You feel your mind expanding (which is impressive considering you're playing mahjong with an Elder One).
>Chase the soldiers down!
1: You decide to get as far from the soldiers as possible and head into the woods, near the standing stones.
BARF
>Become some Fire Zombie Ghost...some Youkai involving Fire at least.
4: You incarnate as a Chili Boo.
>Well, living tends to work. Study under the elder ones in self defence.
6+1: You quickly begin to master their disciplines, becoming capable of twisting the minds of lesser beings!
>Win Dormio in a game of Mahjong with an awesome Rising Sun. Then send him back into the Parser's PC.
6: You destroy Dormio utterly before flinging him back into pure data form. He is now trapped in the PC and has lost internet access again.
Bob is becoming more and more abominable through 1's.
>Behold, the Genericness of SheBobShim!
5: You demonstrate some generic god powers, including slinging a few bolts of lightning. You feel the faith of your followers swell! (+1 to your next roll)
considering how the life expectancy of a lich is oddly short with heroes and shit might as well take everyone with you
>soul steal all players
2+1: You start to channel a powerful necromantic tide meant to tear the souls from your foes, but the energy conflicts with your newly awakened soul, resulting in a minor backlash. You have not yet stabilized into this form! (-1 to your next roll)
Yeah! Loser shall silent they mouth... :X
> Slowly vanish into the non-existance world, forever untill next RtD game... :X
nooooooooooo
BUFFED
PX
Hanzo
Cho'Purvis
Marokuu
Sourfang
Shadoweh
Shebobshim
OUCHED
Amra
Desu_Cake
UK
Yog-N'yggoth
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Orin
Marokuu
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
(Yog-N'yggoth)
(Amra)
(Spiderpig)
Kinoko
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
-
> Lead Remilius off a cliff Lemmings style.
-
>Realize that Yog-N'yggoth may become a main character and steal all the lime light. Use shooting stars on him.
-
>Invite Yog-N'yggoth to Kadeth to meet Nyarlathotep! See who comes out on top~
-
> Face off against Spiderpig in a battle to see who will be the King Boo.
-
>Activate the Lord Stone (http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:The_Lord_Stone)
-
>Give up. Give up EVERYTHING. INTO THE VOIIIIIID.
-
> Get on the boat (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GetOnTheBoat), and make sure the ferryman doesn't slack off.
-
> Drink an MP potion, then return Smashy's maids to normal size and see if the boat stays afloat with that many people on it.
-
>Appearify self into game from the future.
-
> Not like I can be any more dead, follow Pesco down that cli-! Oh look curry.
-
> Breifly wonder how I'm so terrible at finding my way.
-
>Wake up in grassy field and attempt to look around
-
> Now, where was I? Ah yes, Have that spot of tea from a while back.
-
>Roman cancel to get back up the cliff and continue pilgrimage
-
Huh? The parser is not with the cause? Well I need plan B.
>Kill the deviants who are not aligned with the bored ideals of the Warlord! SUMMON BIGGER FISH!! (http://monsterhunter.wikia.com/wiki/Raviente)
-
(What does the Parenthesizes around my name mean?)
>Burn everything in sight
-
>I've been living the life of a NEET for far too long. Get off the internet and go on an adventure to find myself. Make sure to find something to take, it's dangerous to go alone.
-
(What does the Parenthesizes around my name mean?)
It means that you have been Deaded, but are not currently Deaded. It's more a note for myself than anything else.
-
>Rest on my laurels.
-
>Use rest and level up counter helix, just in case
-
>If Amra is successful is giving up everything into the void, play a game of Mahjong with him. If not, go visit Shadoweh.
-
>Separate into She, Bob, and Shim.
-
Well, so much for my bottled rainbow industry.
>Throw bottle at someone
-
THere's only one way to solve things now.
>Convert everyone to Anti-Spiral.
-
>See if we can level to a higher tier of undead.
-
> Lead Remilius off a cliff Lemmings style.
You do so to Mozart's Alla Turca (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_Bf59JHb3w)! Ah, Lemmings. Good times!
>Realize that Yog-N'yggoth may become a main character and steal all the lime light. Use shooting stars on him.
6: Shooting Stars? You can do better. You use Usagi Drop, hitting an area, and hope Pleinair doesn't eat you! Shebobshim, Yog-N'yggoth, and Desu_Cake must roll to dodge!
Shebobshim: 3+1: You are too confused about your identity to worry about exploding rabbits.
Yog-N'yggoth: 4-1: You are too confused about your identity to defend against exploding rabbits! (-1 to your next roll)
Desu_Cake: 6-1: You are too high in the sky to be an easy target for exploding rabbits! You snuggle one on the way down for a bit though. It is very soft. (+1 to your next roll)
>Invite Yog-N'yggoth to Kadeth to meet Nyarlathotep! See who comes out on top~
4+1: It turns out the Crawling Chaos also lives in Iowa! Who knew?! You get Yog-N'yggoth in here for a battle of Old Ones, and you've got front-row mind-shielded seats! (+1 to your next roll) Yog-N'yggoth must roll to dodge!
1-1: Alas, a lich is simply no match for the mind-rending power of Nyarlathotep. He tears your fragile self apart and forces you to live out the rest of your days in Ohio. Yog-N'yggoth has lost the game!
> Face off against Spiderpig in a battle to see who will be the King Boo.
4: Red Boo, Blue Boo. Fight! Spiderpig must roll to dodge!
1: The Blue Boo is supreme and is crowned King Boo! The Red Boo dissipates into nothingness. Spiderpig has lost the game!
>Activate the Lord Stone (http://www.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:The_Lord_Stone)
2: These are the Mage, Warrior and Thief stones! Geez!
>Give up. Give up EVERYTHING. INTO THE VOIIIIIID.
6-1: You sacrifice all of your possessions into the nameless void. In return, you feel power suffuse you! (+1 to your next roll)
> Get on the boat (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/GetOnTheBoat), and make sure the ferryman doesn't slack off.
1: You scuttle the boat. You may have just made the game Unwinnable!
> Drink an MP potion, then return Smashy's maids to normal size and see if the boat stays afloat with that many people on it.
1: You drink the blue potion, but sadly, you are playing the original Prince of Persia and die.
Okay just kidding. Your potion has simply expired, and restores no MP. Check the dates on your restoratives, man!
>Appearify self into game from the future.
1: For making the billionth MSPA reference, you are removed from this continuum. Alpha Werewolf has lost the game!
> Not like I can be any more dead, follow Pesco down that cli-! Oh look curry.
Curry in Lemmings would probably kill you anyway.
> Breifly wonder how I'm so terrible at finding my way.
1: You don't bother contemplating this. In fact, your resolve to let your ability to get lost carry you through your adventuring days.
>Wake up in grassy field and attempt to look around
5: The field is overgrown, scorched in places, shredded in others, with patches of dead grass interspersed with corpses strewn across it. Feels homey! (+1 to your next roll)
> Now, where was I? Ah yes, Have that spot of tea from a while back.
4+1: You're sadly lacking in scones, but a gentleman must make do at times. You have a proper cup of tea, finally. (+1 to your next roll)
>Roman cancel to get back up the cliff and continue pilgrimage
4-1: You Persian cancel instead, by which I mean you reverse time up the cliff. You do hit a few snags on the way anyway. :( (-1 to your next roll)
Huh? The parser is not with the cause? Well I need plan B.
>Kill the deviants who are not aligned with the bored ideals of the Warlord! SUMMON BIGGER FISH!! (http://monsterhunter.wikia.com/wiki/Raviente)
5: You don't look like a Cheddar Monk to me, but fine. You conjure Raviente and have it feast on a few of your treacherous followers. (+1 to your next roll)
>I've been living the life of a NEET for far too long. Get off the internet and go on an adventure to find myself. Make sure to find something to take, it's dangerous to go alone.
5: You download the full discography of Emerson, Lake and Palmer and get ready to head out. You start humming the opening to Karn Evil 9 to yourself. (+1 to your next roll)
Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends,
We're so glad you could attend - Come inside! Come inside! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZcYP00b2FI)
>Rest on my laurels.
3+1: You take some well-deserved rest. A bustling cutthroat business, an heir on the way, and a nice glass of milk. Life is pretty good!
>If Amra is successful is giving up everything into the void, play a game of Mahjong with him. If not, go visit Shadoweh.
2: You take Amra's wordly possessions, but feel no compulsion to stir from the Void - a significant, if not daunting, task.
>Separate into She, Bob, and Shim.
3+1: You become the Trinity - The She, The Bob, and the Holy Shim. And it was Good.
Well, so much for my bottled rainbow industry.
>Throw bottle at someone
3+1: You toss the bottle downwards, where it has plenty of time to pick up momentum! Schezo must roll to dodge!
4: One of the falling rabbits hits the bottle in midair, annihilating them both.
THere's only one way to solve things now.
>Convert everyone to Anti-Spiral.
2+1: You start converting people to the Anti-Spirals, but this punk kid keeps hitting you with a drill. (-1 to your next roll)
>See if we can level to a higher tier of undead.
6: You amalgamate several zombiekin into your own structure, bulking up in a grotesque display of bulging flesh and shifting bone and muscle.
You become an Abomination.
BUFFED
PX
Cho'Purvis
Shadoweh
Amra
Patorikku
Marokuu
GT
Ran
OUCHED
UK
Hanzo
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Marokuu
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
(Amra)
Kinoko
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
-
Drills eh?
>Counter with a drill that has an opposing spiral! (In other words, if his is clockwise, use one that's counterclockwise.)
-
>Accept our newfound time manipulation abilities and understand them to be a calling to revive curry. Go back to the time when we were going to prepare Alter Fortune, and prepare it again.
-
>Take Shadoweh out drinking.
-
> Lead the Boos in a divine crusade to take back the grassy field.
-
>Check power level of self.
-
>Smashing old chap, now find a microphone and start broadcasting my cynical views of things happening in the RtD world.
-
>ABOMINATE.
-
> Contimue using my horrible intuition to explore this dark place.
[I'm like an Evil Overlord corssed with Roanoa Zoro from One Peice ._.]
-
Well crap. Guess I'll have to work without MP, then.
> Become Miria Harvent.
-
>Intimidate the Warrior Stone into giving me the Lord Stone bonus
-
>Glitch way back to a winnable state. And perhaps life while we're at it.
-
>Global Roll Time: Sick the great island serpent Raviente on every player of this RtD, excluding me and including the parser(aka theshim).
-
>Ah, the great outdoors. Find the nearest living being, what's the point of being out here if you're all alone? Then kill them and eat their liver.
-
>Worry that your vision is a bit blurry and proceed to search around for some glasses.
-
>Wielding my trusty sword, contract my "cleanup" services out to the mod or whomever may desire it.
-
>Pre-empt Guardian Tempest by inviting him over to have lunch with The Goat With A Thousand Young.
-
>In the event GT evades Purvis' invitation, run over GuardianTempest with a lambourghini Countache. Then drop a whale on him.
-
(Welp, I'm deaded. Time to be judged by Shikieiki again, even if I may or may not command it. :U)
-
>Punch Shim in the face to establish dominance.
-
>Give enough power to Amra for him to become my right hand.
-
>Investigate to see whether that fluffy cloud tastes like candyfloss.
-
Drills eh?
>Counter with a drill that has an opposing spiral! (In other words, if his is clockwise, use one that's counterclockwise.)
2-1: You switch back to Spiral power! Unfortunately, the conflicting energies have a nasty backlash, and you suddenly find yourself unable to access either of them.
>Accept our newfound time manipulation abilities and understand them to be a calling to revive curry. Go back to the time when we were going to prepare Alter Fortune, and prepare it again.
6-1: You rewind space-time for yourself and successfully prepare Alter Fortune this time! Then time snaps back like a rubber band and you find yourself at the top of the cliff again, but with the spell memorized. (+1 to your next roll)
>Take Shadoweh out drinking.
3: You head out of the Twisted Abyss to go drinking with Shadoweh, but some punks at the bar start pushing you around. Having had your mind shattered a few times, you're not in much of a position to fight back. (-1 to your next roll)
> Lead the Boos in a divine crusade to take back the grassy field.
2: The Boos have never really managed to conquer anything for long, ever since that pesky order of paladins figured out that they could easily crush them en masse just by having two people stand back-to-back at all times.
>Check power level of self.
1+1: Obviously you'd need a scouter for that!
>Smashing old chap, now find a microphone and start broadcasting my cynical views of things happening in the RtD world.
1+1: You don't have any recording or broadcasting software. What were you thinking?
>ABOMINATE.
5: You do what you do best. GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
1+1: GROM NOM HRRGAAHHHNN. GuardianTempest is seriously wounded! And tasty! (+1 to your next roll)
> Contimue using my horrible intuition to explore this dark place.
[I'm like an Evil Overlord corssed with Roanoa Zoro from One Peice ._.]
1: You decide to get out of the Underdark and stumble into a brightly lit cavern. That's nice.
A blast of energy takes chips out of the rock next to you. You see movement, and then...eyes.
Lots of eyes.
Well crap. Guess I'll have to work without MP, then.
> Become Miria Harvent.
5: You are now Mirdj Harvent. (+1 to your next roll)
>Intimidate the Warrior Stone into giving me the Lord Stone bonus
3: You menace the Warrior Stone a few times. While you're doing this, one of those damn wolves comes out of nowhere and bites you in the leg. (-1 to your next roll)
>Glitch way back to a winnable state. And perhaps life while we're at it.
3: You gli%(h ~I#Q$?%N DNF%$^#^MJ
W^# H*$#Q A*($ yo#%^&$%^ can$^#s5rs th23^#$^
(-1 to your next roll)
>Global Roll Time: Sick the great island serpent Raviente on every player of this RtD, excluding me and including the parser(aka theshim).
3: You attempt to sic the serpent, but your misspelling makes it refuse. The parser also applies a penalty for attempting to attack him. (-1 to your next roll)
>Ah, the great outdoors. Find the nearest living being, what's the point of being out here if you're all alone? Then kill them and eat their liver.
3+1: Things are pretty good, at last. You could go for a bite. You decide to take it out of Phlegeth! Phlegeth must roll to dodge!
3-1: Aaaah! My spleen! Phlegeth is seriously wounded!
>Worry that your vision is a bit blurry and proceed to search around for some glasses.
2+1: You fumble around, coming up with several very sharp objects which slice your hands up a bit before finding your glasses. You jam them on. They're a bit bloody. (-1 to your next roll)
>Wielding my trusty sword, contract my "cleanup" services out to the mod or whomever may desire it.
1: You swing your mop around a bit, pretending it's a sword. Whoosh! Clang! Hah!
>Pre-empt Guardian Tempest by inviting him over to have lunch with The Goat With A Thousand Young.
4+1: You summon him to feast with another of the Great Old Ones. GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
5-1: It seems he has learned from the mistakes Yog-N'yggoth made, and politely declines the invitation. You and Shub-Niggurath have a quiet meal together. (+1 to your next roll)
Ia! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young!
>In the event GT evades Purvis' invitation, run over GuardianTempest with a lambourghini Countache. Then drop a whale on him.
6: You rev up your imported and expensive car. It's good to be the dairy king. GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
6: His summoned serpent comes to his aid! Sourfang must roll to dodge!
6: Raviente is crushed by a Whalekana. <(^____________________________________________^)>
>Punch Shim in the face to establish dominance.
2: No, you are not Ace Shebobshim.
Ia! Ia! Shebobshim! The Parser with the Face of Chaos!
>Give enough power to Amra for him to become my right hand.
3: You channel some of your power to Amra, but abruptly you feel a twisting in the void. The Elder Gods are stirring. Few things bother you, but this is one. (-1 to your next roll)
>Investigate to see whether that fluffy cloud tastes like candyfloss.
3: You attempt to take a bite of the cloud. It turns out to have a Lakitu in it. He beans you with a spiky shell. (-1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
PX
Shadoweh
UK
Edible
Mirdj Harvent
Cho'Purvis
OUCHED
Schezo
Smashy
Patorikku
Nanaya Kikasu
Desu_Cake
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
GT
Phlegeth
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
(Amra)
Kinoko
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
-
>Obtain Void Powers again. I lost myself to the void last RtD, never again!
-
>Recruit Uncertain Kitten and show her the wonders of gunnerism.
-
>Well that kind of hurt. Oh well, sight's improved, with the exception of bloodstains. Find something to defend yourself with. This place seems pretty dangerous.
-
> Stareing contest
-
>Wolf pelts
-
>Resist Schezo's recruting attempt by continuing my pilgrimage and being not where he is.
-
>.<Ads@#f23fkl2#F#Of23j@#F
-
> Perform a train robbery! As in, take a train to a place, rob something there, then take a train back! Isn't that right, Isaac?!
-
>Host a banquet at Kadeth with Dagon and Mother Hydra; invite as many players as plausible!
-
> Pft. Solve the problem by attacking from above.
-
Activate HATRED!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75hQJylsOdw)
>With the last remaining HP, ignore all wounds and become Gabranth: Revenge the **** out of those who defiled me before.
-
Well, this is rather amusing. Only one thing for it!
>Pull out COMP, summon Shiisaa and Thor, proceed to use Shiisaa's Switch ability to put some other sap in my place.
-
>Picket town hall to advance undead rights! Zombies are people too!
-
>Ah, that was nice. Not enough to whet my appetite, however. Chase down Phlegeth and eat the rest of them.
-
>Picket town hall to advance undead rights! Zombies are people too!
Is your name Reg Shoe :|?
-
I'm in the Abyss, surrounded by zombies, and drunk out of my mind. Only one thing to do!
> KILL THE ZOMBIES BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD! THEY CAN'T EAT YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM DEAD! KILL THE ZOMBIES! KILL THE ZOMBIES!
-
>Fine, I suppose I'll partake in more passive janitorial work. Loot whatever dead bodies drop from this mess.
-
>Recruit a wing of Black dragons from the Dungeons of Zot (crawl), a wing of black dragons from Azeroth (warcraft), and a wing of black dragons from Faerun (dungeons and dragons).
-
>Recruit a wing of Black dragons from the Dungeons of Zot (crawl), a wing of black dragons from Azeroth (warcraft), and a wing of black dragons from Faerun (dungeons and dragons).
You're doing it wrong! You're not supposed to reference them, you're supposed to make the GM have to do research! :getdown: (And as it turns out I know all three of these settings, so hah!)
-
>The Elder Gods are stirring? Check the Arch of Time and have tea with the Worm of World's End.
-
>Get offended.
-
> Decide to partake in the Holy Grail War and summon a servant
-
>Obtain Void Powers again. I lost myself to the void last RtD, never again!
4: You obtain the powers of the Void. It is a chaotic, dark energy.
>Recruit Uncertain Kitten and show her the wonders of gunnerism.
5-1: You make her an offer she can't refuse! UK must roll to dodge!
>Resist Schezo's recruting attempt by continuing my pilgrimage and being not where he is.
2+1: You try to evade him to continue the pilgrimage. Apparently you forgot he has a gun. Schezo shoots you! (-1 to your next roll)
>Well that kind of hurt. Oh well, sight's improved, with the exception of bloodstains. Find something to defend yourself with. This place seems pretty dangerous.
3-1: You try to find something, but the blooded glasses are really hard to see through. Maybe you should wipe them off.
> Stareing contest
6: You stare down the beholders. All of them. At once.
They are sufficiently impressed and declare you grnn'hazzak.
>Wolf pelts
1: That isn't even a command! Just for that the wolf pelts you with some rocks. Damn wolves.
>.<Ads@#f23fkl2#F#Of23j@#F
5-1: Your inventory now contains 255 Illuminas.
> Perform a train robbery! As in, take a train to a place, rob something there, then take a train back! Isn't that right, Isaac?!
3+1: Unfortunately, the train you take gets hijacked! You escape, but your plans fall through.
>Host a banquet at Kadeth with Dagon and Mother Hydra; invite as many players as plausible!
4+1: You call in a couple friends down to good old Iowa. And some food as well! Mirdj Harvent, Marokuu and Ran must roll to dodge!
Mirdj Harvent: 5: The whole immortal thing's just not very tasty. (+1 to your next roll)
Marokuu: 1: Welp, there goes your soul. Marokuu has died!
Ran: 3: Apparently they filled up pretty well on Marokuu. You just get nibbled. (-1 to your next roll)
> Pft. Solve the problem by attacking from above.
5: This works fine until the Boos get within a certain vertical distance, at which point they start treating everyone as facing them normally again and freeze up. Oh well. It was a good plan! (+1 to your next roll)
Activate HATRED!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75hQJylsOdw)
>With the last remaining HP, ignore all wounds and become Gabranth: Revenge the **** out of those who defiled me before.
5: FFXII? Really? *sigh*
You avenge yourself on your foes! Edible and Sourfang must roll to dodge!
Edible: 6: The abomination notes your changing form, and ABOMINATES you again anyway! GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
Sourfang: 5: Sourfang cheeses his way around you. (+1 to your next roll)
GuardianTempest: 6+1: At the very least you can hold off the Abomination now.
Well, this is rather amusing. Only one thing for it!
>Pull out COMP, summon Shiisaa and Thor, proceed to use Shiisaa's Switch ability to put some other sap in my place.
4: You switch around the battlefield with a couple other demons. This is pointless, but fun!
>Picket town hall to advance undead rights! Zombies are people too!
1: The undead are naturally horrible at campaigning. They're either despots or mindless. Speaking of which, you're hungry again.
>Ah, that was nice. Not enough to whet my appetite, however. Chase down Phlegeth and eat the rest of them.
1-1: You ally yourself with Phlegeth against the Wolf Menace!
I'm in the Abyss, surrounded by zombies, and drunk out of my mind. Only one thing to do!
> KILL THE ZOMBIES BY SHOOTING THEM IN THE HEAD! THEY CAN'T EAT YOU IF YOU MAKE THEM DEAD! KILL THE ZOMBIES! KILL THE ZOMBIES!
2+1: You start playing House of the Dead in your mind, shouting "pew pew" and swinging your hands around! But then you trip and hit your head. You hear the game over sound play, faintly... (-1 to your next roll)
>Fine, I suppose I'll partake in more passive janitorial work. Loot whatever dead bodies drop from this mess.
2: The server seems to have -noloot active.
>Recruit a wing of Black dragons from the Dungeons of Zot (crawl), a wing of black dragons from Azeroth (warcraft), and a wing of black dragons from Faerun (dungeons and dragons).
3+1: You add several wings of dragons to your powerful forces. There is internal infighting, but as long as you keep them separate, you've got a pretty powerful force.
>The Elder Gods are stirring? Check the Arch of Time and have tea with the Worm of World's End.
1-1: You try to shift mythologies, but get stuck halfway through and end up as plain old you again.
>Get offended.
3: You get huffy. The parser punches you in the face to establish dominance. (-1 to your next roll)
> Decide to partake in the Holy Grail War and summon a servant
2-1: Does that say Fate/Roll Dodge? No? Then get out. In fact, you enact a ban on all Type-Moon references while you're at it.
BUFFED
PX
Mirdj Harvent
Kasu
OUCHED
UK
Shadoweh
Shebobshim
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
GT
Phlegeth
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
(Amra)
Kinoko
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
-
Alright, that was fun, but enough screwing around.
>Switch to King Frost and Pendragon, and get to making with the asskicking!
-
> f@#KJF@ngv23l3 until the Illuminas are Smashys
-
> Initiate the Boopocalypse. We Boos have had enough of this treatment!
-
>Kick the shit out of Kasu and the boos for stealing my lunch money.
Even though I already spent it.
-
>How many licks does it take to get to the brain center of a ... brain?
-
>Clean off glasses, then search again for some sort of weapon.
-
Well, guess there's only one thing to do, then.
> Steal gold...FROM THE EARTH!
-
>Convince my newfound ally that it is a good idea to shank the parser.
-
>Chuck wolves at the standing stones!
-
>
Erase the abomination off the face of existence Kill everyone with a Quickening (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OqFVVUv1BE).
EDIT:
Achievement Unlocked: Villain of the Roll
-
>Desecrate GuardianTempest with newfound understanding of time.
-
>Lend UK a whale-dragon hybrid to aid her efforts in desecrating GuardianTempest.
-
>"I have strode through the abyss. I have became the Nuclear Chaos, The Blind Idiot God, Demonic Sovereign. But all rulers come to an end..."
>Evolve into Cthulhu.
-
>Employ non-Euclidian geometries to endlessly push Guardian Tempest off a bridge until he stops references things that are sucky and/or lame
-
> Make UK shoot lasers in order to make people say 'omg kittens go pew pew pew'
-
>Take the punch in stride, after all, Shim did give Bob some nice books....
-
> Spontaneously generate a new soul.
-
> Ask the beholders if they have any recently deceased, because I require an eye, and wouldn't want to make the living give up theirs.
-
>Turn the void into a woman and make her my waifu.
-
>Cast heal upon everyone.
-
>Camp behind the spawning point and whack any stragglers on the head with my broom.
-
Alright, that was fun, but enough screwing around.
>Switch to King Frost and Pendragon, and get to making with the asskicking!
6: You become an unholy hybrid of King Frost and Pendragon. It's scaly and icy and not at all pleasant!
> f@#KJF@ngv23l3 until the Illuminas are Smashys
4: Q#$%AN$^W%$^##!
Your inventory now contains 255 Smashys. Unfortunately, your party is now equipped with Dirks in all slots, and as Espers. (They don't have any good skills, either.)
> Initiate the Boopocalypse. We Boos have had enough of this treatment!
4: With a chittering laugh, you usher in the age of the Boo!
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!
>Kick the shit out of Kasu and the boos for stealing my lunch money. Even though I already spent it.
3: You start beating on one of the Boos, but it seems they're growing smarter, and traveling in pairs... (-1 to your next roll)
>How many licks does it take to get to the brain center of a ... brain?
1: You don't know, you're eating a Tootsie Pop. Where did you even get that?
>Clean off glasses, then search again for some sort of weapon.
3: You clean your glasses, but suddenly the edges are all sharp and you slice your hands open again on them! It's some kind of nightmare! (-1 to your next roll)
Well, guess there's only one thing to do, then.
> Steal gold...FROM THE EARTH!
5+1: You dig into the earth, getting stuck at a few hard bits (geez, who stuck concrete here?) and are rewarded at last with the sight of a room stocked with shiny shiny gold bars! You make off with a bunch.
A few days later you hear something in the news about a Fort Knox. You pay it no mind.
>Convince my newfound ally that it is a good idea to shank the parser.
4: You let Phlegeth know this! But Phlegeth is a bit busy with the wolves.
>Chuck wolves at the standing stones!
4: You hurl the wolves into the stones. Unfortunately, while Skyrim has falling damage, it doesn't seem to have collision damage in the same way. The wolves come back and savage you some more. It's kinda cute.
>Erase the abomination off the face of existence Kill everyone with a Quickening (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OqFVVUv1BE).
EDIT:
Achievement Unlocked: Villain of the Roll
2: Quickenings are for scrubs who can't play the game (or don't have the patience for the early boss fights).
>Desecrate GuardianTempest with newfound understanding of time.
4-1: You attempt to bend time to your will again, but this time you only get a headache. (-1 to your next roll)
>Lend UK a whale-dragon hybrid to aid her efforts in desecrating GuardianTempest.
4: Now that is just one horribly tormented and misshapen creature. You attempt to put it out of its misery by chucking it at GuardianTempest! GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
1: GuardianTempest has been crushed by a Dracokana. <(^__v__________________v__^)> GuardianTempest has died!
>"I have strode through the abyss. I have became the Nuclear Chaos, The Blind Idiot God, Demonic Sovereign. But all rulers come to an end..."
>Evolve into Cthulhu.
3: One does not simply snap their fingers and become an Elder One! The path to R'lyeh is a long an arduous road, and even the first steps make your soul shrivel in horror. (-1 to your next roll)
>Employ non-Euclidian geometries to endlessly push Guardian Tempest off a bridge until he stops references things that are sucky and/or lame
5: You attempt to trap GuardianTempest in an Escher! GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
3: Being dead does give you some insight into non-conventional geometry. Being rammed headfirst into an abstract idea still hurts, though. (-1 to your next roll)
> Make UK shoot lasers in order to make people say 'omg kittens go pew pew pew'
2-1: You shoot lasers at UK! Why would you do that?! UncertainKitten must roll to dodge!
4-1: The lasers don't hurt a great deal, but your headache spikes nastily again. (-1 to your next roll)
>Take the punch in stride, after all, Shim did give Bob some nice books....
5-1: You walk it off like Vimes on a rainy night.
> Spontaneously generate a new soul.
2: I'm sorry, I must have missed the sign that said "12 souls, 10 cents".
> Ask the beholders if they have any recently deceased, because I require an eye, and wouldn't want to make the living give up theirs.
1: You inquire about this, but it seems that your question is misunderstood. The beholders turn as one to the one you were speaking to and fire. There is a blinding flash, and then all that remains is a single eyestalk atop a pile of ash.
You obtain: BEHOLDER EYE.
>Turn the void into a woman and make her my waifu.
No. Especially after JT's topic.
>Cast heal upon everyone.
3: You heal the wounded (just Phlegeth at this point) but the effort involved exhausts you. (-1 to your next roll)
>Camp behind the spawning point and whack any stragglers on the head with my broom.
2: You wait behind the spawn, grinning to yourself, until you realize you've started sweeping up. And humming.
It's kinda cute.
UK: 4-1: Okay this headache is really getting you and now there are Boos bothering you and arrrgghh (-1 to your next roll)
Mirdj Harvent: 5: You chuck some gold at the Boos while yelling "I don't believe in ghoooooosts!" (+1 to your next roll)
PX: 1+1: Someone's not paying attention. PX is seriously wounded!
Hanzo: 6: Whatever you've become, it's powerful enough to fight the Boos and Kasu alike! Kasu must roll to dodge!
2: Ouch! Frozen dragon fangs and stuff! Kasu is seriously wounded!
Sourfang: 5: Your dragons contemptuously wipe out a swath of the Boos. (+1 to your next roll)
Orin: Inactivity murder! Orin has lost the game!
Phlegeth: 5: You charm one of the wolves and have it fight off the Boos for you. (+1 to your next roll)
Edible: 5: Fellow undead! Would you like a Tootsie Pop? No? Okay then.
Smashy: 6: @#$*%B W#$*H$QQ($%#IQm! Kasu must roll to dodge!
5: Kasu manages to escape from the glitched battle before it crashed the game. That was close! (+1 to your next roll)
Marokuu: 6: You fight to reclaim a soul! Kasu must roll to dodge!
4+1: Kasu likes that soul right where it is, thanks very much. (+1 to your next roll)
Shadoweh: 2: It turns out your lasers kinda suck! Shadoweh is seriously wounded!
Allosawyou: 1: Boos are really bad at dealing with Beholders. Too many eyes. So they all go for the target of opportunity.Allosawyou has died!
Ran: 6: You too charm a wolf, sending this one straight at Kasu! Kasu must roll to dodge!
6+1: Alas, poor wolf. It didn't deserve that, man.
Schezo: 6-1: You're already beating down the Boos, a few more won't stop you. (+1 to your next roll)
Cho'Purvis: 5: Boos don't handle THE VOID well. (+1 to your next roll)
Shebobshim: 2: Even a god can fall to an apocalypse. Shebobshim is seriously wounded!
Desu_Cake: 3-1: Your exhaustion makes you an easy target for a mob of Boos! Desu_Cake is seriously wounded!
Amra: 1: Justice is come. Amra has lost the game!
GuardianTempest: 5: Boos are pretty badly statted. (+1 to your next roll)
Nanaya Kikasu: 2-1: Alas, your fragile mind snaps under the assault of little laughing ghosts. Nanaya Kikasu has died!
Kinoko: Inactivity murder! Kinoko has lost the game!
Patorikku: 2-1: You are trapped in your own nightmares, you realize. Everything is blood and cruel sharp edges and vengeful spirits. Patorikku has died!
Conqueror: 2: You ineffectually attempt to sweep some of the Boos away. Conqueror is seriously wounded!
BUFFED
Mirdj Harvent
Sourfang
Phlegeth
Edible
Schezo
Cho'Purvis
GuardianTempest
OUCHED
UK
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
PX
Kasu
Shadoweh
Shebobshim
Desu_Cake
Conqueror
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
omg kittens go pew pew pew
-
>Open fire upon Dormio for attempting to use animals as slaves.
-
Dracokana
Ship Draco Malfoy and Sakana
-
Hit a bad end before I even start. Man, that's gotta be record time or something! :V
>Try killing yourself in this nightmare. Who knows, maybe you'll end up back in reality like in that one popular movie! Or just die, but hey, it's one of those two or endless pointy things, and I kinda like having unscathed body parts.
-
Well, not what I had in mind, but this works!
>Time to do the one thing all dragons do, gather a hoard of treasure!
-
Shouldn't Guardian Tempest be Deaded, shim? Even if he's buffed at the same time.
>Use time magic to go to a time before I had this headache. Try not to get a time magic induced headache again.
-
>WHO SUBSTITUTE BRAIN FOR DELICIOUS CANDY? >:( ZOMBIBLE SMASH
-
Shouldn't Guardian Tempest be Deaded, shim? Even if he's buffed at the same time.
Thank you for catching that! :ohdear:
-
>Give Conquerer a free trip to Rigel via throwing! Forget to include a space suit.
-
Why am I so bad at helping all my townie friends? :ohdear:
> Become the big bad's bumbling sidekick where my inability to suceed will only hinder them constantly.
-
> Watch over the remaining assault from where I have been temporarily struck down.
-
> Baseball uniform! Wooden bat! Boos as the baseballs! HOME RUN!
-
> Have Yukari gap me back here I was when I 'died'.
-
I've had my fair share of action now, I feel better.
>Reincarnate as a Pollywog Mint (http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxb2geFdiF1r9cfcxo1_400.jpg), the bratty half-pint princess and slack off in the royal castle.
-
>Open fire upon Schezo for suggesting that animals are anything other than slaves.
-
>Help Ran open fire upon Schezo.
-
> k3lF#3j2#@F32) until the Smashys are evenly distributed amongst all players.
-
>Dispath forces to defend Schezo and all animal rights. By that, I mean drop whales on Phlemy and Dormy. Volunteer whales, of course.
-
Finished the second book two or so weeks ago, haven't started the third yet, but Vimes did go up in esteem.
>Grow a Beard (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyjr8Pl2KRk).
-
>Death has no meaning to one that made the cosmos. Become Chaos, The True Paradox!
(Please refer to my RP. :V)
-
Due to an overflow of work from a broken printer, Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
-
(Roll to) B'AAAAWWWWWWWWW (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrichsthal,_Thuringia)
Almost title drop.
-
>Contemplate the mysteries of life and the universe.
-
>Open fire upon Dormio for attempting to use animals as slaves.
1+1: You open fire, but the wolves take the shots! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.
Ship Draco Malfoy and Sakana
sakana in leather pants zomgggggggg
Hit a bad end before I even start. Man, that's gotta be record time or something! :V
>Try killing yourself in this nightmare. Who knows, maybe you'll end up back in reality like in that one popular movie! Or just die, but hey, it's one of those two or endless pointy things, and I kinda like having unscathed body parts.
4: You hurl yourself onto the spikes. The pain of impalement is excruciating, and you black out.
When you open your eyes again, you find yourself whole in the grassy field. Let's not do that again.
Well, not what I had in mind, but this works!
>Time to do the one thing all dragons do, gather a hoard of treasure!
6: You start hoarding treasure. Your trove swiftly grows so large that some of Sourfang's dragons join you instead!
>Use time magic to go to a time before I had this headache. Try not to get a time magic induced headache again.
2-1: You attempt to time warp backwards, but something goes horribly wrong. You are now 5 seconds behind everyone else.
>WHO SUBSTITUTE BRAIN FOR DELICIOUS CANDY? >:( ZOMBIBLE SMASH
3+1: The parser admits with shame that it never thought of the term "ZOMBIBLE". You also SMASH someone! GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
3+1: Zombible punches you in the corpse. Ouch!
>Give Conquerer a free trip to Rigel via throwing! Forget to include a space suit.
3+1: You pick up Conqueror and attempt to send him to clean up the stars! Conqueror must roll to dodge!
3: You manage to avoid going into orbit and merely slam into the ground with bone-crushing force. Conqueror has died!
Why am I so bad at helping all my townie friends? :ohdear:
> Become the big bad's bumbling sidekick where my inability to suceed will only hinder them constantly.
4: You become the henchman of the mysterious shadowy figure that is the main antagonist! But you're useless, so this isn't as cool as it might sound.
> Watch over the remaining assault from where I have been temporarily struck down.
4: You watch your faithful minions. They're quite cheerful about the slaughter (as long as no one's looking).
> Baseball uniform! Wooden bat! Boos as the baseballs! HOME RUN!
4+1: And the best part is, they're even better for knocking around than mafia goons! (+1 to your next roll)
> Have Yukari gap me back here I was when I 'died'.
6: You fall through a swirling purple abyss and end up back in the Underdark. The Beholders are even more impressed and name you klgr'grnn'hazzak. They offer you your choice of their treasures as tribute.
I've had my fair share of action now, I feel better.
>Reincarnate as a Pollywog Mint (http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxb2geFdiF1r9cfcxo1_400.jpg), the bratty half-pint princess and slack off in the royal castle.
2: You try to come back as Mint, but Duo Princess isn't translated!
>Open fire upon Schezo for suggesting that animals are anything other than slaves.
2: You shoot at Schezo, but the wolves are in the way. Alas, poor wolves.
>Help Ran open fire upon Schezo.
4+1: From your angle, though, it's a clear shot! (+1 to your next roll) Schezo must roll to dodge!
5: Schezo dodges behind the pile of dead wolves. Even in death, they are your friends. (+1 to your next roll)
> k3lF#3j2#@F32) until the Smashys are evenly distributed amongst all players.
3: *NAQ@#$*%Q N#$*%@*(#$(%UN(a((u(#%$
Whoops, you seem to have set your strength to 1. (-1 to your next roll)
>Dispath forces to defend Schezo and all animal rights. By that, I mean drop whales on Phlemy and Dormy. Volunteer whales, of course.
6+1: WHALE TIME! Sadly, Schezo is collateral damage! Schezo, Ran and Phlegeth must roll to dodge!
Schezo: 3+1: You are on the edge of the attack and dodge out of the way.
Ran: 3: <(^____________________________^)> (-1 to your next roll)
Phlegeth: 1+1: <(^__________________________________________________________^)> Phlegeth is seriously wounded!
Finished the second book two or so weeks ago, haven't started the third yet, but Vimes did go up in esteem.
>Grow a Beard (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hyjr8Pl2KRk).
5: With the divine powers of Shebobshim, this is no trouble at all. You beard it up something fierce. His words are wise. His face is beard.
>Death has no meaning to one that made the cosmos. Become Chaos, The True Paradox!
(Please refer to my RP. :V)
1: You attempt to get the parser to read your RP, but instead the parser forces you to read his blog. REJECTED!
>Contemplate the mysteries of life and the universe.
2: You find yourself wondering about sardines. And hungry.
BUFFED
Mirdj Harvent
OUCHED
Smashy
Ran
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
PX
Kasu
Shadoweh
Shebobshim
Desu_Cake
Phlegeth
DEADED
(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Conqueror
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
-
>Thank Hanzo for gathering my treasure and use force to take it. All of it.
-
>Roleplay a zombie in a dice-based parser text adventure, whilst munching on Brainritos and Braintain Dew.
-
> Steal time by stealing watches! Perhaps the lost time will cause the remaining hostiles to disappear!
-
> Finish the conquering of the grassy field.
-
>FUCK YOU WHALE! Call in the KAMIKAZE
-
> Accidentally reveal the main antagonist in the middle of the grassy field by fudging up his transportation portal. I'm helping!
-
>Screw time magic, learn Summon magic
-
>Introduce PX to the concept of tendrils Then introduce Kasu to the concept of being beaten to death with PX.
-
> Ask the Beholders what treasure they have
-
>Bury the fallen wolves, for they served me well.
-
>Try again, this time use the Threads of Fate version. That one's in english!
-
>Right, now that we have that dream sequence out of the way, let's do it right this time. Retrieve arms from grassy plains!
-
> #AFkj3a#(Fafj#@F(n2FKASDf to fuse all the Smashys together, for 255 Strength.
-
Traitorous dragons. But, I wish them well.
>Recruit a selection of hydra, unicorns, Radiant dragons, and centaur warriors.
-
>Parser didn't forget previous action.
-
>Find something delicious and nutritious, and eat it.
-
>Hellfire! Begone! Outcast! Unclean! Become Thomas Covenant!
-
>Parser didn't forget previous action.
of course he didn't what are you talking about
-
So I've got a few other dragons on hand now eh?
>Set them to gathering more treasure, but for themselves this time.
-
>Thank Hanzo for gathering my treasure and use force to take it. All of it.
5: You loot the shinies! All of them! Bwahahaha! (+1 to your next roll)
>Roleplay a zombie in a dice-based parser text adventure, whilst munching on Brainritos and Braintain Dew.
2: Oh, come on. Even the undead can't stand Mountain Dew.
> Steal time by stealing watches! Perhaps the lost time will cause the remaining hostiles to disappear!
3+1: Should've thought this through - now you've got more time than you know what to do with!
> Finish the conquering of the grassy field.
3: Your Boos have done all they can. You go in to finish the job but someone's looking at you. This is really annoying! (-1 to your next roll)
>FUCK YOU WHALE! Call in the KAMIKAZE
1: That is highly inappropriate! You call a Kamikaze, and then explode violently! Phlegeth has died!
> Accidentally reveal the main antagonist in the middle of the grassy field by fudging up his transportation portal. I'm helping!
1: You tweak the transportation portal. It's running better than ever! You're helping!
>Screw time magic, learn Summon magic
6: What do you think this is, FFV? That LP's dead on hiatus shut up fine you're a summoner. You have no summons, though!
>Introduce PX to the concept of tendrils Then introduce Kasu to the concept of being beaten to death with PX.
6: Brutality is the only answer. PX and Kasu must roll to dodge!
PX: 3: Not quite able to get away! You are slammed into Kasu until you resemble mush. PX has lost the game!
Kasu: 1-1: Until you both resemble mush! Kasu has died!
> Ask the Beholders what treasure they have
4: You inquire as to their treasures. They have many rare, magical, powerful artifacts. They also have frozen yogurt. Which they call frogurt! Oh, and they've got some of the rare Black Wheat of Despair, too.
>Bury the fallen wolves, for they served me well.
4-1: You honor the sacrifices of the wolves by digging their graves yourself. It is a long, arduous, exhausting task, but at least they can rest easy now. (-1 to your next roll)
>Try again, this time use the Threads of Fate version. That one's in english!
5: You are now Mint from Threads of Fate! (+1 to your next roll)
>Right, now that we have that dream sequence out of the way, let's do it right this time. Retrieve arms from grassy plains!
4: You find an Arms certificate. Sadly, you're not playing VC2, so this is useless.
> #AFkj3a#(Fafj#@F(n2FKASDf to fuse all the Smashys together, for 255 Strength.
3-1: Q@#$^^&*((DBN
That didn't do anything.
Traitorous dragons. But, I wish them well.
>Recruit a selection of hydra, unicorns, Radiant dragons, and centaur warriors.
6: You recruit hydra, unicorns, Radiant dragons, centaur warriors, the man in the moon, a gnome chef, three ugly horses, a Grand Arbiter...
>Find something delicious and nutritious, and eat it.
2: Everything is full of sugar and fat! This is ridiculous!
>Hellfire! Begone! Outcast! Unclean! Become Thomas Covenant!
1: You tried that already! It still doesn't work! In fact, you manage to accidentally master the passive skill "SELF-AWARENESS", which makes you immune to form or shape changing!
So I've got a few other dragons on hand now eh?
>Set them to gathering more treasure, but for themselves this time.
3: The dragons hoard quite well on their own. You attempt to inspect the hoard but they snarl at you and bat you out. (-1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Schezo
GuardianTempest
OUCHED
Ran
Hanzo
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Conqueror
Kasu
Phlegeth
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
-
Hahaha, alright you kids. Just make sure it can stack up to my collection too now y'hear?
...What. My loot!
>Steal back the loot from Schezo, and maybe make him into an ice statue to decorate the hoard with.
-
>Smite Hanzo with his previously owned treasures. Then laugh.
-
>Become a Misdreavus myself
-
>Acquire the Hobo summon by beating up the nearest hobo
-
> All right, so I have a lot of time...let's make time fly! Throw them watches!
-
>Vegetable diet.
> ...
> ...
> ...
> HO HO JUST KIDDING MORE BRAINS
-
Well if that didn't work, then
>@#IOFJ23109f1n#1 SCIENCE
-
> Accept Black Wheat of Despair as gift from the Beholders.
-
>Go forth in search of more animal companions to do my bidding.
-
>Oh my, this brutality has done quite a frighten mess to my monocle. Time to find a better one!
-
> Re-materialize since Boos are technically already dead.
-
>Slack off in the castle, scheming for world domination...or at least how to beat Maya.
-
>Right, all silliness aside, go find a weapon and prepare to flail it around.
-
>:T
> Teleport the big bad into the middle of Hanzo's ex-hoard.
-
>Take this round off.
-
>No more form changing? Okay. Call forth the power of the skies and charge into the grassy field with Jinougas. Give everyone flowers.
-
>Stroke The Beard of THE BOB.
-
Hahaha, alright you kids. Just make sure it can stack up to my collection too now y'hear?
...What. My loot!
>Steal back the loot from Schezo, and maybe make him into an ice statue to decorate the hoard with.
4-1: You settle for pilfering the loot back. It is truly impressive how fast you guys can move that much stuff! And you throw out your back. (-1 to your next roll)
>Smite Hanzo with his previously owned treasures. Then laugh.
4+1: You attempt to crush Hanzo with piles of shiny things! (+1 to your next roll) Hanzo must roll to dodge!
1-1: You can't take it with you, but sadly, the reverse is not true! Hanzo has died!
>Become a Misdreavus myself
2: You cannot become another pokemon! Who do you think you are, Ditto?
>Acquire the Hobo summon by beating up the nearest hobo
3: You engage in combat with a nearby hobo. You win, and gain the Hobo summon, but you also gain a nasty disease. (-1 to your next roll)
> All right, so I have a lot of time...let's make time fly! Throw them watches!
4: And to top it off, you really are having fun!
>Vegetable diet.
> ...
> ...
> ...
> HO HO JUST KIDDING MORE BRAINS
1: You attempt the path of the vegetarian zombie. You cameo in Plants vs. Zombies briefly.
Well if that didn't work, then
>@#IOFJ23109f1n#1 SCIENCE
6: #INK$#%@($%
Yeowch! Seafood sou%$@()$I(KM #%^(#()%^IK
You are now Banon.
> Accept Black Wheat of Despair as gift from the Beholders.
1: You tell the Beholders to keep it safe for you until you need it. They obey with pride.
>Go forth in search of more animal companions to do my bidding.
2-1: In a dark burrow, several shadowy figures clump together.
"You hear about George?"
"...yeah. I heard."
"That just wasn't right, you know? George was...he was..."
"I know, man. I know. Don't worry, we've got his scent...and a name."
A chorus of growls rises up, a note of hatred in unison:
"Dormio."
>Oh my, this brutality has done quite a frighten mess to my monocle. Time to find a better one!
5: You tear a hole in the very fabric of reality. The universe itself cries out at the violation, as you pull dark, hateful energy out and let it coalesce into a single piece of pure evil. You put it over your left eye. Now you are a true gentleman once more! (+1 to your next roll)
> Re-materialize since Boos are technically already dead.
5: Another chittering laugh, and it's like you were never gone! (+1 to your next roll)
>Slack off in the castle, scheming for world domination...or at least how to beat Maya.
2+1: You hang around, coming up with various devious plans, which all seem to end with you lying in a heap on the floor after another failed trap. (-1 to your next roll)
>Right, all silliness aside, go find a weapon and prepare to flail it around.
1: You find a flail and weapon it around! And by that I mean you chuck it at random passerby. Of course, a flail is anything but a throwing weapon, so this accomplishes nothing.
You're really bad at not being silly today!
>:T
> Teleport the big bad into the middle of Hanzo's ex-hoard.
1: You teleport Hanzo's hoard en masse (including the corpse) to the treasury! Your master is increasingly pleased with your performance of late and gives you a raise! yaaaayyy
>Take this round off.
6: You take the game off.
Sourfang has quit!
>No more form changing? Okay. Call forth the power of the skies and charge into the grassy field with Jinougas. Give everyone flowers.
4: You summon a bunch of monsters! They then proceed to hand out dandelions and tulips. It's kinda sweet.
>Stroke The Beard of THE BOB.
6: You stroke The Beard. The Beard is of The Bob, and The Bob is of The Beard. And yea, for the two were one, and the one was three once more.
You are no longer Shebobshim, and are back to being The Bob.
Ia! Shebobshim! The dread Beard of the Plains with the Hundred Keys!
[/b]
BUFFED
Schezo
Cho'Purvis
Kasu
OUCHED
UK
GT
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Conqueror
(Kasu)
Phlegeth
Hanzo
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
QUIT
Sourfang
-
>Proceed up the chain of summons, using our trusty hobo summon to get the Assbird summon, the hideous combination of a flightless bird and a donkey that is marginally suitable for riding.
-
Bah, freakin' Schezo.
Well, only one thing for it.
>Resurrect as a Dracolich, and reclaim my hoard!
-
You are now Banon.
bahahahahah
>UNDEAD MONOPOLY PARTY
-
Hmm...probably can't do more with Mirdj Harvent until I watch more, so...
> Become Dr. Awkward.
-
After that ordeal, I need a vacation.
> Inhabit the basement of a tropical hotel's casino.
-
>Whatever, if they won't listen to me, they're useless. Go on a campaign to wipe out every single animal in existence.
-
Ummm.....
>Unquit.
-
They called him "The Demon of Krak?w", a human Cerberus of the modern age. The scourge of civilization; the cruel and barbarous host of murder and famine. When Constantinople fell to the Mosalmans under Mehmed II "The Conqueror," the Demon turned his eyes in that direction, for he sought to liberate the domain once more.
It was late December when his forces pushed through the Dardanelles, overwhelming the local Sheikh. The fox warrior was mercilessly chained to a wooden post hastily erected in the town square. The Demon had been surprised when he had discovered the Sheikha's womanly features, and yet she stood up to the best of his loyal retainers in physical combat, even besting some of them with the sword. A witch who had signed a deal with the devil, no doubt.
But now she had been subdued, her armor broken and cast aside, a grimace plastered across her grimy face as she struggled futilely to break the bonds holding her captive. While his forces stacked wood at her feet, the Demon roared with laughter as he relieved himself of his battle armor. He extended his sword outwards, touching the sharp blade against the fox-woman's exposed neck.
"Prepare yourself Turkey. I will rip your units apart one by one."
>Do the next logical step and put a sword in Dormio.
-
>Get a relic.
>Quest a relic and drag Maya along, she goes first into whatever doubtful situation I find like possible slave pirates and rusted temples.
-
>Bloody silly gene... RIGHT, go for that sword lying on the ground over there!
-
>Now, a new suit. But what color? Why, there's only one suitable one! Get a suit that is The Colour Out of Space!
-
Why am I so bad at this? ;_;
> Take Hanzo's corpse to the token evil scientist in the basement and do weird robotic science to it.
-
> Adventure to the Twisted Abyss, to get Dairy Products.
-
>I have witnessed the brutality of the one who slew me, and I will not stand for this violation of natural rights. Drag my ouster into the murky abyss so that we may feed his soul to the likes of Cthulhu.
-
>3KFLAJ30a9f#FJrf3 (undead?) BANNON GAN SOMEONE
-
>Seek out Dormio and give him a Jinouga mount.
-
>Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.
-
>Challenge someone to a game of chess
-
>Proceed up the chain of summons, using our trusty hobo summon to get the Assbird summon, the hideous combination of a flightless bird and a donkey that is marginally suitable for riding.
2-1: You wander around getting into random encounters, but it never shows up. You also have to deal with your hobo pestering you for a drink, and eventually you are forced to release him just to get away.
Bah, freakin' Schezo.
Well, only one thing for it.
>Resurrect as a Dracolich, and reclaim my hoard!
3: You come back as a dragon zombie thing! You're in no condition to reclaim anything until you figure out how to get things working. (-1 to your next roll)
bahahahahah
>UNDEAD MONOPOLY PARTY
5: ZOMBIBLE WILL BE IRON (+1 to your next roll)
Kasu is stuck as the Thimble, and Edible has three houses on Illinois! Kasu must roll to dodge!
6+1: You draw the Advance to Go card and in a last desperate attempt put up a third house on Boardwalk! Edible must roll to dodge!
6+1: Edible lands on Go as well!
Hmm...probably can't do more with Mirdj Harvent until I watch more, so...
> Become Dr. Awkward.
5: You change your name to Josh Watson and start jamming something fierce! (+1 to your next roll)
After that ordeal, I need a vacation.
> Inhabit the basement of a tropical hotel's casino.
3: You can't leave in the middle of a game! Edible drags you back. (-1 to your next roll)
>Whatever, if they won't listen to me, they're useless. Go on a campaign to wipe out every single animal in existence.
5: You go on an extended foray, slaying the fauna as they come before you. It'll take a while, but you're only getting better at this... (+1 to your next roll)
Ummm.....
>Unquit.
6: Sourfang has reconnected!
>Do the next logical step and put a sword in Dormio.
1+1: You attempt to stick a sword into Dormio, but that is the wrong game! In this one Dormio is off killing animals somewhere!
>Get a relic.
>Quest a relic and drag Maya along, she goes first into whatever doubtful situation I find like possible slave pirates and rusted temples.
1+1: You sit around the castle disconsolately. Boooooriiiiiing.
>Bloody silly gene... RIGHT, go for that sword lying on the ground over there!
2: You try to pick up the sword. It turns out to be made of foam. You bat a few people with it.
>Now, a new suit. But what color? Why, there's only one suitable one! Get a suit that is The Colour Out of Space!
5+1: You get a properly tailored suit to your rakish form. It is a color that cannot be put into words, like octarine mixed with black lighting and shaken up inside the well of a black hole. It immediately starts consuming the area around you. Patorikku must roll to dodge!
5: You bat at the color with your foam sword. It wilts in your hand, but the color goes elsewhere.
You'll miss that sword. (+1 to your next roll)
Why am I so bad at this? ;_;
> Take Hanzo's corpse to the token evil scientist in the basement and do weird robotic science to it.
5: You abduct the partially reanimated zombie dragon thing! (+1 to your next roll) Hanzo must roll to dodge!
5-1: You struggle out of Shadoweh's grasp and escape! Shadoweh runs after you yelling "come baaack heeere >_<"
> Adventure to the Twisted Abyss, to get Dairy Products.
1: You are now thoroughly lost! You've found some sort of volcanic region, where the earth rumbles and the sky is ash and dust.
>I have witnessed the brutality of the one who slew me, and I will not stand for this violation of natural rights. Drag my ouster into the murky abyss so that we may feed his soul to the likes of Cthulhu.
2: You try to drag Cho'Purvis into the abyss whence you reside, but considering that your attempt consists of you ineffectually whacking him with a wet mop, it's not really surprising that this doesn't accomplish much. Also the color eats your mop. :(
>3KFLAJ30a9f#FJrf3 (undead?) BANNON GAN SOMEONE
4: You try to Banon Gan someone, but alas, no one is in need of your healing skills.
>Seek out Dormio and give him a Jinouga mount.
4: You present him with a Jinouga to ride. He responds by killing it.
>Make a Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich.
6: You craft the Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich of the gods. It shines with a divine light. It's so beautiful it hurts to look at it.
You've created a masterpiece...or a monster.
>Challenge someone to a game of chess
5: You engage UK in a friendly game of chess! (+1 to your next roll) Behind you, a ghost and a zombie are having a particularly nasty game of Monopoly. You try to stay out of it.
BUFFED
Dr. Awkwardj
Ran
Patorikku
Shadoweh
Desu_Cake
OUCHED
Kasu
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Conqueror
Kasu?
Phlegeth
Hanzo?
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
>Something about that sword reminded you about your alchemic abilities! Get some iron together and transmute it into something cool!
-
> Stab, mow, knife -- ye fink wombats!
-
Well, whatever works, works. Back to (un)life, and I got everything moving again proper.
What to do now....Hmm....Perhaps...Aha!
>Return to the former location of my hoard, and begin plotting a way to reclaim it!
-
> Cheating is abominable.
> I am an abomination.
> Ergo, interest-free bank loans to myself!
-
>Frustrated at my lack of random encounters, start chess tournament after beating Desu_Cake
-
>Tried to kill me again, did you Schezo? Well, guess what? You're naught but a lowly animal too! Death! Death to the animal!
-
>If Maya's too goody-two shoes to come along, then Sourfang you're coming with me and we're getting a -[relic]- whether you like it or not!!
-
> Pray that Edible lands on the "Go to Jail" space.
-
>Put the hit out on Dormio by contacting my gunner buddies.
-
>Fly through the skies On a robot unicorn and throw stars everywhere.
-
[notparser]> 4: You try to Banon Gan someone, but alas, no one is in need of your healing skills.
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
>Smashy[/notparser]
>AK#Fja3f09A#Fafaf :flamingv:
-
>Now that we're quite properly spiffing, let's go for a nice walk through the countryside; and feed a random player to the suit.
-
> Accidentally set into motion a hilarious chain of disasters involving bumping into the butler while chasing Hanzo that pulls the mask off of my evil master and reveals his identity!
-
>Terraform Mars. Or Venus, whichever comes first, or whichever the unicorns like better.
-
[notparser]> 4: You try to Banon Gan someone, but alas, no one is in need of your healing skills.
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
>Smashy[/notparser]
Can Banon revive people? Can he?
I rest my case.
-
> Do not attempt to find my way anywhere else.
[Because EVERY TIME I TRY TO FIND MY WAY I ROLL A 1]
-
>Attack unicorns with the PB&J of the Bobs.
-
>Tried to kill me again, did you Schezo? Well, guess what? You're naught but a lowly animal too! Death! Death to the animal!
A DARK GOD REAWAKENS
>Attempt to prevent Schezo deaths
-
What's better than chess? Customized chess!
>Make custom chess set.
-
Due to an unexpectedly massive influx of work, Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
-
>Something about that sword reminded you about your alchemic abilities! Get some iron together and transmute it into something cool!
5+1: You obtain: IRONFOAM BLADE
It's a foam that won't break!
> Stab, mow, knife -- ye fink wombats!
1+1: You palindrome it up, but it's just not working for new lyrics.
Well, whatever works, works. Back to (un)life, and I got everything moving again proper.
What to do now....Hmm....Perhaps...Aha!
>Return to the former location of my hoard, and begin plotting a way to reclaim it!
2: You've no idea where that is. Or where you are, for that matter.
> Cheating is abominable.
> I am an abomination.
> Ergo, interest-free bank loans to myself!
3: You sneak some 500s from the bank, but promptly land on Boardwalk. (-1 to your next roll)
>Frustrated at my lack of random encounters, start chess tournament after beating Desu_Cake
4: You set up a couple brilliant forks and win the game, and get ready for a mass tournament. It is rumored that the Chessmaster, Dithmus Bis, will there!
>Tried to kill me again, did you Schezo? Well, guess what? You're naught but a lowly animal too! Death! Death to the animal!
3+1: Attaaaaaaaaaack! Schezo must roll to dodge!
4: Your swing goes wide. It looks like you're not the only one getting better at this.
>If Maya's too goody-two shoes to come along, then Sourfang you're coming with me and we're getting a -[relic]- whether you like it or not!!
5: You grab Sourfang and attempt to drag him along on your quest! (+1 to your next roll) Sourfang must roll to dodge!
2: You drag him right off the walls of the castle. Ouch! Sourfang is seriously wounded!
> Pray that Edible lands on the "Go to Jail" space.
2-1: Edible lands on Free Parking. Curses!
>Put the hit out on Dormio by contacting my gunner buddies.
4: You call in a hit squad! Dormio must roll to dodge!
6: There are bullets flying everywhere. None of them hit him, but some are coming your way! Schezo must roll to dodge!
1: Well...that...didn't work...
Schezo has died!
>Fly through the skies On a robot unicorn and throw stars everywhere.
4: AAAAALLLLWAAAAAAAYS I WANT TO BEEEEE WITH YOU
kill me
>AK#Fja3f09A#Fafaf :flamingv:
4: #$@*HN U@#$*O!@(nfg#$^%
(http://i.imgur.com/op2gy.gif)
>Now that we're quite properly spiffing, let's go for a nice walk through the countryside; and feed a random player to the suit.
2: You head out for a walk. There don't seem to be any of the players around, so you feed the suit a couple hapless soldiers in the woods.
> Accidentally set into motion a hilarious chain of disasters involving bumping into the butler while chasing Hanzo that pulls the mask off of my evil master and reveals his identity!
4+1: You chase after the wandering Hanzo! In your clumsiness, you trip, knocking over a priceless vase! The butler comes to clean up the mess and accidentally sets the front hall on fire, and in the confusion you accidentally knock off the mask over your master's face! (+1 to your next roll)
But it's all smoky chaos and no one sees it.
>Terraform Mars. Or Venus, whichever comes first, or whichever the unicorns like better.
6: You do both. It's a ridiculous feat, as each planet presents incredibly diverse challenges, but you get through. The unicorns claim Venus, though.
> Do not attempt to find my way anywhere else.
[Because EVERY TIME I TRY TO FIND MY WAY I ROLL A 1]
1: Great now where are you. Everything's all...screwy wobbly messed up dark.
This is probably the Twisted Abyss.
>Attack unicorns with the PB&J of the Bobs.
1: You take a quick trip to Venus and spend some time whipping up PB&J of the Bobs for the unicorns. It's a party in their mouths! :getdown:
A DARK GOD REAWAKENS
>Attempt to prevent Schezo deaths
1: You attempt to seal Schezo's fate! Schezo must roll to dodge!
1: The writ is sealed, the book closed forevermore. Schezo has lost the game!
What's better than chess? Customized chess!
>Make custom chess set.
6+1: You start taking the corpses of the slain players and reconstituting them into animated hulks of their former selves, to be used in the grand tournament!
BUFFED
GT
Shadoweh
OUCHED
Edible
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Sourfang
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Conqueror
Kasu?
Phlegeth
Hanzo?
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
>Win all the matches to earn a game with Dithmus Bis by getting enough Star Tokens
-
... Fine :|
>3F@(@#Jf@#FIN@ until all the ouchies are directed onto the nearest octopus
-
Fuck that.
-
> ...enter halfway through the game
-
> Stab at the nearest person, other than myself, with the sword that occasionally emits audible snoring. "Damn a madness! Send a man mad!"
-
Wow that actually worked.
> Ask if there's any milk around here. Out loud.
-
> Upgrade to the battleship in a desperate bid to bankrupt Kasu!
-
> Counter Edible by investing in a submarine! Battleships are weak against subs!
-
>Hahahaha! Schezo, my mortal enemy, has been felled! ...Why does it feel so empty? Attempt to fill this void by kill all of the
animals players.
-
Clearly, I have made a sword worthy of the Gods.
>Display the powers of the Ironfoam Blade to the nearest person!
-
>Heal Sourfang first, THEN go look in Mars, he goes first.
-
Still, better than the least time when I rolled a 6 and managed to revive someone else.
>Examine new form
-
>Remove glove and strike Dormio in the face with it to challenge him to a proper duel.
>The glove is, of course, part of the suit.
-
>Heal Sourfang first, THEN go look in Mars, he goes first.
Aren't you still dead?
>Establish defensive perimeter around Venus to defend the unicorns, Mars (Aqua) is peaceful and needs no defense. And with said perimeter, bombard Dormio to death.
-
Aren't you still dead?
Revived as Mint.
-
>Good thing Unicorns are highly allergic to Peanut Butter.
-
>Attempt to revive self into Azathoth via robot unicorn dream powers, but not before nullifying that mastered skill with Jinouga lightning powers.
-
>Use new chess set to play ULTIMATE CHESS!
-
>Win all the matches to earn a game with Dithmus Bis by getting enough Star Tokens
3: You win a few matches, and are feeling pretty good, but then some kid with a cap and ski mask hits you in the back of your head and steals your star chips tokens! Oh no! (-1 to your next roll)
... Fine :|
>3F@(@#Jf@#FIN@ until all the ouchies are directed onto the nearest octopus
2: #$*(%Y@QH%$nk hrj6%$*
You're back in Figaro. This isn't working. :(
Fuck that.
:ohdear:
> ...enter halfway through the game
5: BIZOOP. (+1 to your next roll)
> Stab at the nearest person, other than myself, with the sword that occasionally emits audible snoring. "Damn a madness! Send a man mad!"
4: You palindromically stab at Hanzo! Hanzo must roll to dodge!
5: You sword gets caught in his exposed ribs. Ig. (+1 to your next roll)
Wow that actually worked.
> Ask if there's any milk around here. Out loud.
6: You ask in a booming, thunderous roar for some milk. In the Twisted Abyss, this is a very bad thing to do.
It's called the Twisted Abyss for a reason. It's a place that responds to people's thoughts and words, but rarely in the manner they intend. It's one of the many reasons the CATACLYSM MUFFIN is as legendary and difficult to create.
In your case, you hear an ominous rumble, and the crest of a wave breaks over the nearby hill. A foamy, creamy crest.
Uh oh.
> Upgrade to the battleship in a desperate bid to bankrupt Kasu!
2-1: You dump Battleship pieces on the board! It's a slaughter! Boardwalk is shelled into submission within minutes!
> Counter Edible by investing in a submarine! Battleships are weak against subs!
1: You pick up the destroyers. Those things are impossible to hit!
>Hahahaha! Schezo, my mortal enemy, has been felled! ...Why does it feel so empty? Attempt to fill this void by kill all of the animals players.
5: Omnicide is the only answer. (+1 to your next roll)
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!
Clearly, I have made a sword worthy of the Gods.
>Display the powers of the Ironfoam Blade to the nearest person!
2: You try to show it off to people, but they're all giving you funny looks for getting so excited about a foam sword...
>Heal Sourfang first, THEN go look in Mars, he goes first.
1+1: You jump down off the cliff to heal Sourfang. That may not have been the best idea. You spend a little while healing yourself instead.
Still, better than the least time when I rolled a 6 and managed to revive someone else.
>Examine new form
4: You appear to be a Momijibot. Huh.
>Remove glove and strike Dormio in the face with it to challenge him to a proper duel.
>The glove is, of course, part of the suit.
3: You remove the glove to strike him across the face, but seeing the moment of weakness, Dormio strikes your exposed...appendage, knocking the glove away! (-1 to your next roll)
Aren't you still dead?
>Establish defensive perimeter around Venus to defend the unicorns, Mars (Aqua) is peaceful and needs no defense. And with said perimeter, bombard Dormio to death.
6: You protect the unicorns so effectively that they are effectively invulnerable. They thank you for your service and kick you out.
Ungrateful bastards!
and you can't bombard someone with a defensive perimeter how does that even make sense You pilfer a couple cannons from the defense systems and take aim! Dormio must roll to dodge!
4+1: Removed from the targeting systems, too, it turns out. (+1 to your next roll)
>Good thing Unicorns are highly allergic to Peanut Butter.
1: No, wait - you're the one allergic to Peanut Butter! Crap!
>Attempt to revive self into Azathoth via robot unicorn dream powers, but not before nullifying that mastered skill with Jinouga lightning powers.
6: Robot unicorn powers do not work that way. Nor does that passive.
You settle for tuning one of the unicorns into Robot Rainbow Azathoth.
The universe itself cries out at the horror.
>Use new chess set to play ULTIMATE CHESS!
5: You get a game of ULTIMATE CHESS going! It's got slaughter, death, strategy, and for some reason a frisbee. (http://i.imgur.com/Lu9zO.png) (+1 to your next roll)
UK: 4-1: While frantically attempting to recover your star chips tokens, you are hit in the back of the head again. Ouch! (-1 to your next roll)
Dr. Awkwardj: 4: You tumble out of the way, shouting "War, sir, is raw!"
Hanzo: 3+1: You're an undead draco titan juggernaut thing. You're practically unkillable at this point.
Sourfang: 1: In your wounded state, you cannot evade the attack. Sourfang has died!
Phlegeth: 1: You do nothing, and death comes for you. Phlegeth has lost the game!
Edible: 2: Noooo! Your beautiful fleet! Edible is seriously wounded!
Smashy: 5: $*#%@#$%Nmn! (+1 to your next roll)
Marokuu: 1: Spacing out can get you killed. Marokuu has died!
Shadoweh: 4+1: Safe in the lair of your nefarious master, the attack passes you by. You spend the time trying to be less clumsy >_< (+1 to your next roll)
Allosawyou: 3: You are battered (hah) by the tide, and Dormio too. (-1 to your next roll)
Cho'Purvis: 5-1: The suit is still quite effective, even missing one glove.
The Bob: 1: Curse...you...peanut butter...
The Bob has died!
Desu_Cake: 6+1: You send out your zombie chess piece army to defend you! Dormio must roll to dodge!
1+1: Ouch! A powerful blow from the White Queen! Dormio is seriously wounded!
GuardianTempest: 4: You hide underneath Sourfang's corpse, and for once remain quiet.
Nanaya Kikasu: 4: ROBOT RAINBOW AZATHOTH PROTECTS YOU
Patorikku: 6: You duel with your ironfoam blade! Dormio must roll to dodge!
4: Somehow, you are able to go toe-to-toe with him wielding a toy sword. This is incredibly silly!
Conqueror: 1: Another passive observer. Conqueror has lost the game!
Momijibot: 2: You may be a momijibot, but that doesn't mean you can fight like one. Momijibot is seriously wounded!
Chisou Taizen: 6+1: BIZOOP! Dormio must roll to dodge!
5: That wasn't even an attack. That didn't do anything! (+1 to your next roll)
Kasu: 3: Dormio's blade may not work too well on ghosts, but it still hurts a bit. (-1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Smashy
Shadoweh
Dormio
OUCHED
UK
Allosawyou
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Edible
Dormio
Momijibot
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
Sourfang
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
>Oh I'm gonna get that bastard. Pull out shanking knife from my comically oversized King figurine and give chase!
-
> attempt to ingest the nearest player
-
>Your enemy is weakened! Here's your chance to take him down! Turn him to dust with a heartwarming speech!
-
> Collect some of the massive amount of milk that just steamrolled me.
-
> @#f9j23f2#IFN out of these Final Fantasy 6 references
-
> In anger at the ineffectual stab, throw papayas everywhere to disrupt everyone!
-
> deflect papayas, continue ingestion (if applicable)
-
>Repair fleet (and self) by incorporating miscellaneous player corpses into body.
-
In retrospect, I'm amazed I survived 16 pages.
>Rest in peace, knowing my empire is protected by my heir. Unless the precocious little dear raises me.
-
Fun times eh?
>Build a 31 Floor Cave Dungeon, and take up residence on BF31. Make sure to populate the rest of the dungeon with difficult enemies, especially ones that can poison or paralyze.
-
> Attempt to win by proclaiming it was Edible, in the Library, with the Lead Pipe.
-
>That took a lot out of me. Take it easy for now, and lock the doors.
-
>Introduce Dormio to the gentlemanly art of Serious Fisticuffs. All no artifact of mere 4-dimensional space to get in my way.
-
In retrospect, I'm amazed I survived 10 pages.
Bahaha! Yeah, rolling three 1's in a row is amusing as well. In fact, a lot of player's rolls went awry this update.
>Overcome anaphylactic allergy.
-
>As much as I'd like to fight back, I'm nearing death right now. Look for materials with which to do repairs.
-
No, I cannot raise him, but I cannot leave him there either.
>Something easier: Transfer his soul into a genderswapped, mechanical body which can never die and is easily repairable. Kinda like Ada from Blazblue.
-
>Revive self WITH POWERS OF THE UNIVERSEEEEE KAMEN RIDER STYLE!!!!
-
>Oh I'm gonna get that bastard. Pull out shanking knife from my comically oversized King figurine and give chase!
5-1: You take out your poorly concealed knife and go on a wacky adventure, eventually chasing down the masked bandit and shanking him. You've got your star chips tokens back!
> attempt to ingest the nearest player
1: You throw up all over the place. Ewwww.
>Your enemy is weakened! Here's your chance to take him down! Turn him to dust with a heartwarming speech!
2: "And so, we have discovered that papayas are responsible for a large number of recent socio-economic trends in modern upper society. Next, we'll move on to the effects of the recent coconut boom, and how we can expect this to change the prevailing atmosphere..."
He's fallen asleep. You're really bad at this!
> Collect some of the massive amount of milk that just steamrolled me.
3-1: You attempt to collect some of the milk, but you are being swept around by it too fiercely! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
> @#f9j23f2#IFN out of these Final Fantasy 6 references
4+1: #%^nj63%&n!@#
You find yourself in an unfamiliar town. At least the spritesheet's changed. (+1 to your next roll)
> In anger at the ineffectual stab, throw papayas everywhere to disrupt everyone!
1: You have some delicious papaya. Mmmmmmm.
> deflect papayas, continue ingestion (if applicable)
one action, doofus
>Repair fleet (and self) by incorporating miscellaneous player corpses into body.
4: GRAGH SHFF HRGHAH
Edible has been...healed?
In retrospect, I'm amazed I survived 16 pages.
>Rest in peace, knowing my empire is protected by my heir. Unless the precocious little dear raises me.
3: Your rest is uneasy, troubled by the souls of the damned. And Prinnies. (-1 to your next roll)
Fun times eh?
>Build a 31 Floor Cave Dungeon, and take up residence on BF31. Make sure to populate the rest of the dungeon with difficult enemies, especially ones that can poison or paralyze.
1: You build a tower, and reside at the top. The enemies are weak and provide plentiful xp and gold.
> Attempt to win by proclaiming it was Edible, in the Library, with the Lead Pipe.
3: You claim, but one of your accusations is false! D: You lose...this round. (-1 to your next roll)
>That took a lot out of me. Take it easy for now, and lock the doors.
1+1: You head to your room and take a nap. You can't help but feel you're forgetting something...
>Introduce Dormio to the gentlemanly art of Serious Fisticuffs. All no artifact of mere 4-dimensional space to get in my way.
5: AAAAGH THERE'S A CHO'PURVIS IN THE ROOM WHAT HO (+1 to your next roll)
Dormio must roll to dodge!
2: Biff! Wham! Pow! SCCHHHLLUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRK.
Dormio has lost the game!
Bahaha! Yeah, rolling three 1's in a row is amusing as well. In fact, a lot of player's rolls went awry this update.
>Overcome anaphylactic allergy.
6: You have become Peanut Bob.
>As much as I'd like to fight back, I'm nearing death right now. Look for materials with which to do repairs.
6: You find a spare CT7 core. Upgrade time!
No, I cannot raise him, but I cannot leave him there either.
>Something easier: Transfer his soul into a genderswapped, mechanical body which can never die and is easily repairable. Kinda like Ada from Blazblue.
3: You screw around with necromancy. It's exhausting, you're not very good at it, and can only bring Sourfang back as a Prinny. (-1 to your next roll)
>Revive self WITH POWERS OF THE UNIVERSEEEEE KAMEN RIDER STYLE!!!!
2: Looks like the robot unicorns are hogging all the universe power. Jerks.
BUFFED
Smashy
Cho'Purvis
Shadoweh
OUCHED
Prinny Sourfang
Kasu
GT
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Momijibot
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
And with that tasty snack out of the way...
> AWAKEN THE DROWSY SWORD
-
> #f2#FP(@#fj2lkfj to the nearest inn
-
Sorry, I'm new to this :/
> enter first floor of dungeon and punch stuff
-
>Turn in three matching cards and mobilize your armies into Ukraine!
>Land on three Pay Days in a row!
>Perform a rare and diffcult double-tower removal!
>Nab the wishbone without touching the metal borders with the tweezers!
>I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE PLAYING ANYMORE AAAAAAH
-
> Now's my chance! Take out Edible's Queen with my Bishop!
-
> Disregard milk, obtain balance
-
>You're going to need better speeches than that. Go find the nearest library and read some plays and stuff.
-
And that, kids, is why you should always lock the doors.
-
> Convince evil master that he can't be superior with Purvis's muscular body in existence. He must be.. eliminated.
-
>Unlock the doors. ALL OF THEM.
-
How did I manage to get revived and ouched at the same time. Dood.
Either way...
>Do menial stable work for the unicorns until I work off my sin debt, dood.
-
>Become dapper by equipping top hat, monocle, and cane.
-
>Ask the benevolent unicorns if they have an extra relic to spare politely.
-
>UPGRADE TTIIIMMMEE
-
>Beat Momijibot to death with Guardian Tempest. Pinkies up!
-
Bah, useless minions! The lot of them!
...Well, I suppose I could do the typical thing of a Bad Boss and level grind off my own minions.
...Nah, that's the easy way.
>Add an additional 50 floor basement to the tower and transfer real self there, leaving a very convincing fake that is exactly 1/2 my power at the top, and a fake that is 1/3rd my power in the midway section of the tower.
-
>Continue to our challenge with Dithmus Bis
-
>Play chess with someone.
-
And with that tasty snack out of the way...
> AWAKEN THE DROWSY SWORD
3: You call to the blade. It awakens just long enough to delevel you. :( (-1 to your next roll)
> #f2#FP(@#fj2lkfj to the nearest inn
6+1: #$*%HN#$*
But there aren't any inns in this game! You've found a casino, though!
Sorry, I'm new to this :/
> enter first floor of dungeon and punch stuff
5: You enter the dungeon and punch a dude! He drops five gold pieces. Awesome! (+1 to your next roll)
>Turn in three matching cards and mobilize your armies into Ukraine!
>Land on three Pay Days in a row!
>Perform a rare and diffcult double-tower removal!
>Nab the wishbone without touching the metal borders with the tweezers!
>I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE PLAYING ANYMORE AAAAAAH
5: You stealthily move your knight to Millionaire Estates and draw a card, which turns out to be Afghanistan. Success. (+1 to your next roll)
> Now's my chance! Take out Edible's Queen with my Bishop!
4-1: Hah! You take his queen and draw a card! But it's the House and Hotel Repairs card! That runs you $480. (-1 to your next roll)
> Disregard milk, obtain balance
2: The milk is astonishingly bad at disregarding you and spins you around a couple more times.
>You're going to need better speeches than that. Go find the nearest library and read some plays and stuff.
6: You go to the library and pick up a recording of Patrick Stewart performing in Shakespeare. Your mind feels enlightened and your self-confidence swells.
> Convince evil master that he can't be superior with Purvis's muscular body in existence. He must be.. eliminated.
6+1: You point this out, but it seems your master is fixated on something far worse...his suit.
What have you done.
>Unlock the doors. ALL OF THEM.
3: You unlock one door before you break your pick. Stupid unlocking minigame. (-1 to your next roll)
How did I manage to get revived and ouched at the same time. Dood.
Either way...
>Do menial stable work for the unicorns until I work off my sin debt, dood.
3-1: Menial work? Dood...you're just gonna take it easy, dood. Not worth getting all worked up over.
>Become dapper by equipping top hat, monocle, and cane.
5: You become a Dapper Peanut Bob. It is like a Dapper Dan, but infinitely more Bob. Also you kinda look like the Planters mascot.
>Ask the benevolent unicorns if they have an extra relic to spare politely.
2-1: You are rude, and crude, and very much a boor. And thus the unicorns, with their frat boy sense of humor, grant you a relic.
>UPGRADE TTIIIMMMEE
2: Whoops. Turns out you're not compatible with the CT7 cores. Well, that bites.
>Beat Momijibot to death with Guardian Tempest. Pinkies up!
1+1: GuardianTempest is nowhere to be found. And you'd rather not deal with the unicorns if you can avoid it. Disgusting creatures. Absolutely no class. All they care about is finding some pretty maiden to hit on. It's disturbing, and you're a creature of the void, for
's sake.
Bah, useless minions! The lot of them!
...Well, I suppose I could do the typical thing of a Bad Boss and level grind off my own minions.
...Nah, that's the easy way.
>Add an additional 50 floor basement to the tower and transfer real self there, leaving a very convincing fake that is exactly 1/2 my power at the top, and a fake that is 1/3rd my power in the midway section of the tower.
2: Your minions are far too useless for that! Get better ones!
>Continue to our challenge with Dithmus Bis
2: You were disqualified for leaving! It looks like you'll never get to face off against the Master himself...
>Play chess with someone.
5: You play a quick round of chess with a mysterious masked and cowled figure. You get destroyed, but you have learned much. (+1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Chisou Taizen
Shadoweh
Edible
Desu_Cake
OUCHED
Dr Awkwardj
Kasu
Nanaya Kikasu
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
>Right! With these weapons in hand, there's no way you could fail as a protagonist! Take to the world and solve people's problems!
-
>Retire back to the bungalow in Kadeth. Invite a random player to have elevensies with Hastur.
-
> Disrupt everyone else's actions
-
>Oh noes! Return to the tournament in a DISGUISE and get more star tokens!
-
> Disregard Balance, obtain Milk
-
>Suddenly, zombie safety dance attack!
-
So, am I alive and a prinny, or dead?
-
So, am I alive and a prinny, or dead?
You are alive, and a prinny. Dood.
-
> Deleveling? Oh no! Return to the past, now! *presses key*
-
>Perform menial labor for the staff of NiS to help production of the Disgaea 2 anime.
-
>Forge a Nox Nyctores using the given relic, would either result in the 'Divinus Libri: Cosmos' or the fanservice-y 'Cupiditas Venefictus: Somnium'.
-
> Counter with a Boo rendition of Thriller!
-
> #@)(FJalfn3(Fa until the casino allows you to trade in tokens for CATACLYSM MUFFIN ingredients
-
>Cast off! CHANGE HYPER BEETLE. And then fly over to Dormio's corpse.
-
>Challenge Purvis to a 20th Century Dance Contest.
-
I don't know what I've done! :ohdear:
> Enough serving! I shall go out and prove my worth! Take a group of henchmen to slaughter the nearest unicorn! I wonder if I'm getting to into this..
-
> Slaughtering unicorns confirms you as scum. The parser agrees with me.
-
>Use new chess knowlegde to take over a neighbouring nation.
-
Bah, these minions are too useless!
>Abandon current tower, and take up residence at the bottom of an 80 Floor Cavern.
-
>Right! With these weapons in hand, there's no way you could fail as a protagonist! Take to the world and solve people's problems!
2: Watching Patrick Stewart and orating like Patrick Stewart are, you quickly discover, two very different things.
>Retire back to the bungalow in Kadeth. Invite a random player to have elevensies with Hastur.
1: You take tea quietly with Hastur yourself. It's a subdued affair; you've both had very busy days.
> Disrupt everyone else's actions
2+1: You attempt to disrupt some actions, but for some reason you start with your own. Whoops. (-1 to your next roll)
>Oh noes! Return to the tournament in a DISGUISE and get more star tokens!
5: No one will ever see through this bandanna over your face. It is the perfect disguise. (+1 to your next roll)
Oh, and the tournament has ended. It seems Dithmus Bis will go on undefeated again.
> Disregard Balance, obtain Milk
6: You scrap your normal way of thinking and go a bit more...flexible. Your head spins and your vision blurs, but next thing you know you're standing on solid ground, with a small bottle of milk next to you.
(agh changing names this was hard enough already)
>Suddenly, zombie safety dance attack!
1+1: Well, you can dance if you want to, but then you'd leave your friends behind, so you save it for another time.
> Deleveling? Oh no! Return to the past, now! *presses key*
3-1: You are no longer a high enough level to return to the past!
>Perform menial labor for the staff of NiS to help production of the Disgaea 2 anime.
6: You help out with making the anime! Unfortunately, their definition of a prinny helping out involves a lot of trips to the Netherworld Hospital, dood. At least you get an Imperial Seal out of it!
>Forge a Nox Nyctores using the given relic, would either result in the 'Divinus Libri: Cosmos' or the fanservice-y 'Cupiditas Venefictus: Somnium'.
2: Wrong type of relic (http://ageofempires.wikia.com/wiki/Relic_%28Age_of_Empires_II%29).
> Counter with a Boo rendition of Thriller!
2-1: You attempt to get the Boo Thriller down, but they panic every time someone looks at them and forget to moonwalk. How do Boos moonwalk anyway?
You settle for the Boo Waltz.
> #@)(FJalfn3(Fa until the casino allows you to trade in tokens for CATACLYSM MUFFIN ingredients
6: @#$^*gjn$%&#
%^*(J~!!!N ($&ON!
nmv2$%&^@ MLM$^@!
uh oh
>Cast off! CHANGE HYPER BEETLE. And then fly over to Dormio's corpse.
6-1: THIS BIKE IS AWESOME (+1 to your next roll)
>Challenge Purvis to a 20th Century Dance Contest.
2: Purvis is having quiet time with Hastur. You're not quite dumb enough to interrupt that.
I don't know what I've done! :ohdear:
> Enough serving! I shall go out and prove my worth! Take a group of henchmen to slaughter the nearest unicorn! I wonder if I'm getting to into this..
5+1: You go out on a unicorn crusade, to rid the world of these foul robotic beasts! After the first few go down, you get a message from the boss. He is not happy.
> Slaughtering unicorns confirms you as scum. The parser agrees with me.
we already knew shadoweh is scum, geez
scuuuuuuuum
>Use new chess knowlegde to take over a neighbouring nation.
4+1: You watch as the armies move around, like pieces on a board.
Then you go assassinate the king and proclaim yourself monarch. (+1 to your next roll)
Bah, these minions are too useless!
>Abandon current tower, and take up residence at the bottom of an 80 Floor Cavern.
4: You now live in a completely empty Cavern.
It's lonely... :(
BUFFED
UK
Nanaya Kikasu
Desu_Cake
OUCHED
Chisou Taizen
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
Well, it's a start.
>Get to fillin' the place with undead, mindflayers, and more. I'll make this a dungeon even Epic-Levels will fear treading into!
-
>Go beat up some mind flayers, and possibly Hanzo, during a vigorous constitutional.
-
>Head back home and have a steak
-
Phooey. :(
> Step into the scanner and virtualize.
-
> Leave the Twisted Abyss, taking the milk with me
-
Sad face.
>See if the core can be converted into something usable.
-
> Shake hands with Edible. He's a worthy undead opponent.
-
>Go back home and and analyze it. see what it's supposed to do.
-
> #@fo2ifj923fl@#F2 until Popcorn appears in inventory, in order to properly watch hijinks ensue.
-
awww
> Wax existentialism with nearest entity willing to listen
-
>There doesn't seem to be much going on. Go and find someone that might be particularly interesting.
-
>Reincarnate as a Unicorn youkai.
-
>Challenge contestants to an arm wrestling competition.
-
>Send some gullible adventurers out on a quest to rescue my non-existant daugter.
-
>Conquer the rainbows with my Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto things.
-
OBVTOWN DAMNIT
> Move on to defeating bigger and better robots like Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto. The boss will be impressed if we slaughter something bigger!
-
>Must... not... wake... Daddy...
-
Well, it's a start.
>Get to fillin' the place with undead, mindflayers, and more. I'll make this a dungeon even Epic-Levels will fear treading into!
5: You start getting some high-level goons in the place. It's shaping up to be a proper lair now. (+1 to your next roll)
>Go beat up some mind flayers, and possibly Hanzo, during a vigorous constitutional.
5: You lay some gentlemanly beatings about! Your suit also eats a couple of them. You can't find Hanzo, though. (+1 to your next roll)
>Head back home and have a steak
6+1: You head back home. Your home is now made of steak. It's...dribbling...
Phooey. :(
> Step into the scanner and virtualize.
1: You manage to Mobius your scanner up something fierce. It scans itself and explodes violently. You don't even want to wonder what effects that will have on the code.
> Leave the Twisted Abyss, taking the milk with me
2: One does not simply walk out of the Twisted Abyss. Its black gates are guarded by more than just horrors...there is madness there that does not sleep, and the great Void is ever watchful. It is a barren waste, riddled with milk, and storms, and dust - the very thoughts you think are a deadly trap. Not with ten thousand footsteps could you do this. It is folly!
Sad face.
>See if the core can be converted into something usable.
3: You attempt to use the core on something else, but you don't have anything that takes a CT7 core! This thing is useless! (-1 to your next roll)
> Shake hands with Edible. He's a worthy undead opponent.
1: You go to shake hands before realizing the two fatal flaws in the plan. One, Boos don't have hands! And Two, he's looking at you!
You quickly hide your face.
>Go back home and and analyze it. see what it's supposed to do.
3: You play around with it for a bit, but as your house is not a monastery, it doesn't do much but exhaust you. (-1 to your next roll)
> #@fo2ifj923fl@#F2 until Popcorn appears in inventory, in order to properly watch hijinks ensue.
5: #*J$#%@#$%!Qmnn38@#%$
!@"MIN@#($@(
There doesn't seem to be a popcorn entry, but you get some candy, at least! (+1 to your next roll)
awww
> Wax existentialism with nearest entity willing to listen
3-1: You can't wax existentialism! It's not a concrete object!
Geez!
>There doesn't seem to be much going on. Go and find someone that might be particularly interesting.
5: You have found a tower! It is tall and ominous! You hear ominous - but interesting - sounds! (+1 to your next roll)
>Reincarnate as a Unicorn youkai.
5: You reincarnate as a Unicorn, dood. You even managed to accrue enough mana that you come back as Average instead of Good-For-Nothing! (+1 to your next roll)
>Challenge contestants to an arm wrestling competition.
6: You ambush everyone as they attempt to leave the chess tournament and wrestle them into submission with your peanut arms!
>Send some gullible adventurers out on a quest to rescue my non-existant daugter.
3+1: You convince a group of surly armed men (once you get them to stop checking your shelves and closets) to go help your kidnapped daughter. Hopefully that'll get rid of them!
>Conquer the rainbows with my Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto things.
3+1: Your array of mecha is impressive (and wtfworthy!), and you quickly manage to secure the outer rainbow layers of the Venusian defense system! But the inner layers are on high alert and are calibrating targeting systems to destroy the invaders!
OBVTOWN DAMNIT
no, shadoweh
you are the scum
and then shadoweh was the scum
> Move on to defeating bigger and better robots like Rainbow Robot Azathoth and Kamen Rider Kabuto. The boss will be impressed if we slaughter something bigger!
3: You attempt to backstab the mecha invasion of Venus, but some stray shots from the system fly out your way! (-1 to your next roll)
You get another message from the boss. He is screaming various obscenities now. You hear explosions.
>Must... not... wake... Daddy...
6: Silence. A moment of perfect soundlessness. Shhhhhhhhhh.
Your arm falls off.
BUFFED
Hanzo
Cho'Purvis
Smashy
Patorikku
Sourfang
OUCHED
Momijibot
GT
Shadoweh
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
Well, this is going nicely. Now to add a few more design-based touches to the dungeon.
>Make the last 20 floors ice-based, by hand if need be. I was an ice-dragon-thing in life after all!
-
> ... ...dismantle random bits and pieces of Hanzo's dungeon to build a house
-
> Try to find the Twisted Abyss.
[Seeing my luck with finding stuff :D]
(http://i.imgur.com/qL0B5.jpg)
[Why has someone else edited my post to include an image]
(because Boromir)
-
>Oh my god this is a dream come true. Cook and enjoy my new Steakhouse
-
> Trap Shadoweh inside a painting.
-
>Replace arm with random living player's arm. Or random living player entirely.
-
>Get into sweetass Stanley Steamer. Run over 1d6 other players per round.
-
Welp. There go any more potential Code Lyoko references I could make, probably.
> "God of healing, bless those who stand before you! Grant me the righteous power to banish evil!" Also accidentally draw the magic circle wrong so that it banishes everyone else, instead of just evil.
-
Welp. There go any more potential Code Lyoko references I could make, probably.
Yes.
Yes they do.
-
>Help me, Professor Kokonoe!!
-
>As interesting as the tower seems, there also seems to be an interesting cavern nearby! Go investigate that, instead.
-
>Punch Queen Larsa in the face and run
-
>Annhiliate the people attacking me, continue my awesome conquest.
-
>Level grind to my previous level. Plus 47.
-
>Ignore the thing, browse the internet.
-
;___________________; nu tooWwwnnNnnnIiiEeeOooBbbVvVTttowwwwNNnnn...
> :o Okay okay! Go back to RESCUE MY MASTER FROM THE DANGER HE IS IN!
-
>Ride A Pogostick Named Desire.
-
>Become a benevolent ruler and make my citizens love me.
-
Due to Fridays sucking thoroughly (and consistently being 75% of my work per week), Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
-
> #fajopf#F2@#F()jf until the candy has become RARE CANDY. Hijinks are better to watch when you're a high enough level to deal with them should they happen to you, too.
Clearly.
-
Due to Fridays sucking thoroughly (and consistently being 75% of my work per week), Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
>Fall out of chair and start rolling on the floor crying
No seriously, I'm fine here. I just don't want people think I'm an idiot (Hint: I was joking with the above line).
-
>Attempt to play the original loaded die card from Munchkin and pick 9001 as result
-
Well, this is going nicely. Now to add a few more design-based touches to the dungeon.
>Make the last 20 floors ice-based, by hand if need be. I was an ice-dragon-thing in life after all!
1+1: You appear to have burst into flames. (http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/7/76/Spy_autoonfire01.wav)
(okay not really but the whole ice thing isn't working out)
> ... ...dismantle random bits and pieces of Hanzo's dungeon to build a house
3: You start picking off bits and pieces. Unfortunately some of the pieces are attached to other pieces, like spinning blade traps. (-1 to your next roll)
> Try to find the Twisted Abyss.
[Seeing my luck with finding stuff :D]
1:
(http://i.imgur.com/qL0B5.jpg): You don't know where you are now, but it's not the Twisted Abyss. You simply walked out. Boromir approves.
>Oh my god this is a dream come true. Cook and enjoy my new Steakhouse
2: You need fire for that!
> Trap Shadoweh inside a painting.
4: You attempt to metaphysically trap Shadoweh inside one of the paintings in the mansion! (Or, failing that, just smash her over the head with it.) Shadoweh must roll to dodge!
5-1: Shadoweh is too scummy to be trapped in a painting. Or has too many minions to get close enough for a solid whack. Your call.
>Replace arm with random living player's arm. Or random living player entirely.
1: You donate the fallen arm to the Undead Veterans' Society. Someone will put it to good use. Or eat it, that works too.
>Get into sweetass Stanley Steamer. Run over 1d6 other players per round.
1+1: Perish the thought! You couldn't in good conscience risk any damage to your Stanley Steamer. It's priceless!
Welp. There go any more potential Code Lyoko references I could make, probably.
> "God of healing, bless those who stand before you! Grant me the righteous power to banish evil!" Also accidentally draw the magic circle wrong so that it banishes everyone else, instead of just evil.
5: You are now Mardja Lualdi. (+1 to your next roll) You can't hit everyone, just those in the same combat zone.
Hanzo, Smashy, Cho'Purvis and Patorikku must roll to dodge!
Hanzo: 4: You are too busy being Not On Fire to worry about this pathetic scratching.
Smashy: 1+1: Being dead makes you weak to Light-elemental damage! Smashy is seriously wounded!
Cho'Purvis: 5: Why, I say! That tickled! (+1 to your next roll)
Patorikku: 1+1: You can't make it to shelter in time! Patorikku is seriously wounded!
>Help me, Professor Kokonoe!!
6-1: You watch an omake or three. Hee! (+1 to your next roll)
>As interesting as the tower seems, there also seems to be an interesting cavern nearby! Go investigate that, instead.
3: You drag yourself over to the cavern, but there is some kind of field holding you at bay. You should probably do something about the bleeding, while you're at it. (-1 to your next roll)
>Punch Queen Larsa in the face and run
6: Well, that didn't do much. Maybe if you had been using the ATOMIC CRUMB CAKE to punch her.
But you get away high and dandy, slipping through the purple clouds of death like they are nothing.
>Annhiliate the people attacking me, continue my awesome conquest.
5: You destroy the first several wings of intercept robot unicorn fighters.
This is getting silly. (+1 to your next roll)
>Level grind to my previous level. Plus 47.
6+1: You max out everything. Every single thing. Awwwwww yeah.
>Ignore the thing, browse the internet.
4-1: You attempt to ignore the CT7 core, but you have no connectivity. (-1 to your next roll)
;___________________; nu tooWwwnnNnnnIiiEeeOooBbbVvVTttowwwwNNnnn...
> :o Okay okay! Go back to RESCUE MY MASTER FROM THE DANGER HE IS IN!
6: You BIZOOP back to your master. He is in no danger. He chews you out for a while for giving away his position and orders you to start getting ready to move the base.
>Ride A Pogostick Named Desire.
1: Your pogostick is clearly named Stella. Geez.
>Become a benevolent ruler and make my citizens love me.
1: A mere few days after beginning your reign, you begin to enact new and tyrannical measures. Anyone who objects disappears in the night. You have all the power, and damned if it won't stay that way. Mwahahahaha!
> #fajopf#F2@#F()jf until the candy has become RARE CANDY. Hijinks are better to watch when you're a high enough level to deal with them should they happen to you, too.
Clearly.
6: Clearly it already was Rare Candy! You l#$%*@Njwenf@#$^%@%^!1
You take a bite. It tastes like...Magikarp.
What have you done.
>Fall out of chair and start rolling on the floor crying
No seriously, I'm fine here. I just don't want people think I'm an idiot (Hint: I was joking with the above line).
You're not doing a very good job of that. :X
>Attempt to play the original loaded die card from Munchkin and pick 9001 as result
5: You pull out the loaded die card! This will help. (+1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Mardja Lualdi
Cho' Purvis
GT
Nanaya Kikasu
I have no name
OUCHED
Chisou Taizen
Patorikku
Momijibot
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Smashy
Patorikku
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
Whores! Since when did Hanzo's dungeon contain spinning blade traps?
I must
> construct better dungeon to inflate ego
-
>I say! Take Smashy in my right hand, Patorikku in my left, and give Rdj a right drubbing!
-
>Borrow fire from Hanzo, he's good at that, right =D? I'll even share the steak with him!
-
Well, better than nothing I guess..?
>Add more traps! Pitfalls with stakes at the bottom, MOAR SPINNING BLADE TRAPS, pendulum blades, and so much more!
-
> #@fn920fj23f until that Magikarp is in Purvis's right hand instead of me. And then run, just in case RAGE-EVOLVE happens
-
> Assuming I somehow survive Purvis' attack, cast Photon repeatedly!
-
"I just learned that Koko's a mad scientist...an awesome one."
>Go to the nearby black smith Prof. Kokonoe herself and forge a weapon, any weapon, from the relic as a montage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA5MuGs_im8) showing hardwork and the determination going through hell and back just to complete the materials needed.
Like the MHFU opening.
-
> Haunt a random player.
-
>This probably won't end well. Find some sort of distraction so that you can get yourself healed!
-
> Do NOT attempt to find the Beholders
[One does not simply walk into the Twisted Abyss... but they can walk out]
-
>Edible hungry...
-
>Attempt to slay the Potted Plant for free levels and loot
-
Even when I do a good job he's not happy D:
> Move the base somewhere dark and gloomy. Hopefully remember to bring evil master with it.
-
Maxxed everything.... Does that mean I have to speak in all caps, bold, italisized, underlined and in 24 point font?
>Flush with power, conquor 667 realms, giving the netherworld of the 667th realm to one random player as a gift.
-
>Become Lord of Silliness. FINISH MY CONQUEST. YEAAAAH
-
>Up and Down and Up and Down and Away!
-
>Locate the largest rebel group in the country and rather than pulverise them, appoint myself as their hidden leader, and guide their efforts to pointless activities and/or carefully laid traps.
-
Whores! Since when did Hanzo's dungeon contain spinning blade traps?
I must
> construct better dungeon to inflate ego
4-1: You get to work on a massive edifice, riddled with cunning traps and darkness sections and pitfalls! Bwahahaha!
But you forget where you put them and fall down one of the holes. Ow. (-1 to your next roll)
>I say! Take Smashy in my right hand, Patorikku in my left, and give Rdj a right drubbing!
6+1: Luckily for Smashy, the right hand is the one you took the glove from. Patorikku must roll to dodge!
1-1: The color subsumes you. Patorikku has lost the game!
You've only got Smashy to use as a bludgeon now. Mardja Lualdi must roll to dodge!
1+1: A brutal blow! Mardja Lualdi is seriously wounded!
>Borrow fire from Hanzo, he's good at that, right =D? I'll even share the steak with him!
2: You go to get some fire from Hanzo, but are frustrated by a Teleporter maze! >:(
Well, better than nothing I guess..?
>Add more traps! Pitfalls with stakes at the bottom, MOAR SPINNING BLADE TRAPS, pendulum blades, and so much more!
2: You're over budget! You have to scale back your trapcrafting.
> #@fn920fj23f until that Magikarp is in Purvis's right hand instead of me. And then run, just in case RAGE-EVOLVE happens
1: You a34@%@#$O%m to@#$%K t@#$%@s)I)
You have arrived at Glitch City.
> Assuming I somehow survive Purvis' attack, cast Photon repeatedly!
3: pew pew pew pew
this doesn't seem to be working (-1 to your next roll)
"I just learned that Koko's a mad scientist...an awesome one."
>Go to the nearby black smith Prof. Kokonoe herself and forge a weapon, any weapon, from the relic as a montage (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oA5MuGs_im8) showing hardwork and the determination going through hell and back just to complete the materials needed.
Like the MHFU opening.
2+1: You attempt to create some sort of obscene crossover between vastly diverse series (-1 to your next roll) before giving up and trading the Relic for a new ranseur. Have fun!
> Haunt a random player.
1: You give up your haunting ways and turn to chamber music. You're gonna be the next big thing.
> Do NOT attempt to find the Beholders
[One does not simply walk into the Twisted Abyss... but they can walk out]
3: You concentrate on not finding the Beholders with all your might.
You fall into a ditch. Ow. (-1 to your next roll)
>Edible hungry...
1: ZOMBIE VOW OF ABSTINENCE
You cannot feed on the brains of the living. It's not easy being green and rotting. :(
>Attempt to slay the Potted Plant for free levels and loot
4+1: You slay the Potted Plant! You gain a level and draw a Treasure card. Which turns out to be another Go Up A Level card! (+1 to your next roll)
Even when I do a good job he's not happy D:
> Move the base somewhere dark and gloomy. Hopefully remember to bring evil master with it.
3: You move the base with the inbuilt teleport circle. This place is definitely dark and gloomy.
Something flaps by your face and screeches. Something else lands on your back and sinks teeth in! (-1 to your next roll)
Maxxed everything.... Does that mean I have to speak in all caps, bold, italisized, underlined and in 24 point font?
>Flush with power, conquor 667 realms, giving the netherworld of the 667th realm to one random player as a gift.
1: You have already maxed out the number of realms you can conquer! You give one to Shadoweh for her master's nefarious plans.
>Become Lord of Silliness. FINISH MY CONQUEST. YEAAAAH
2+1: That's just silly. You are silly. You also get hit by a rainbow laser. (-1 to your next roll)
>Up and Down and Up and Down and Away!
4: You take to the skies!
>Locate the largest rebel group in the country and rather than pulverise them, appoint myself as their hidden leader, and guide their efforts to pointless activities and/or carefully laid traps.
5: Subversion is a powerful tool. Within weeks the rebels are moving your goods for you, and doing a better job of it than your officials ever did. (+1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
I have no name
Desu_Cake
OUCHED
Momijibot
Chisou Taizen
Mardja Lualdi
GT
Raikaria
Shadoweh
Nanaya Kikasu
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
Smashy
Mardja Lualdi
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
Patorikku
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
>Yank Smashy out of glitch city. Impale Rdj with him!
-
>Use the Dowsing Rod to retrieve the Hoard card from the discard pile, then use Turning (Cleric Power) to re-fight the Potted Plant and its Mate.
-
I can't warden my dungeon myself.
> Install an AI that will administrate monsters and spawning and treasure etc, include programming to nuke people who level grind a lot
why am i always ouch gdi
-
ZOMBIE VOW OF ABSTINENCE
You cannot feed on the brains of the living. It's not easy being green and rotting. :(
god... god dammit ;_;
> VEGAN ZOMBIE ADVENTURES
-
> Cast First Aid like my life depends on it! Because it does!
-
> #2f(@fjf23jfkl2f until I am Nethack-style cursed and inflict Doom on anyone using me as an equip
-
Well, it's not so bad I guess.
>Make every single floor a teleporter maze!
-
> Better yet! Form an orchestra with my fellow Boos!
-
Well, it's not so bad I guess.
>Make every single floor a teleporter maze!
I hate you so much.
-
I hate 'em too, but they're so frequently used so...and since I'm technically a Boss Monster now....Why the hell not.
-
oh shit it's nocturne all over again with you
-
>Use time powers to make all teleport mazes never happen
-
With this new weapon, I will be forever!
>Invade Hanzo's lair, bring in Maya along for more fun.
-
> Do NOT attempt to aquire the Black Wheat of Dispair
-
Note to self: Equip auto-heal materia whenever you are in the vicinity of dangerous people.
-
>Get Decade's belt. and W's belt too. Can I conquer the rainbow place now? :<
-
>Channel the Concrete Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF4Gu-qeNsA).
-
> Engage in some serious counter-flailing. TOWNIE counterflailing. Subdue the beast and add it to my henchman armies!
-
Now that the internal politics are secure, time to see what's outside.
>Commence diplomatic and trade relations with neighbouring countries.
-
>Teach Dr. Robotnik Rasengan
-
>Reunite Savage Garden.
-
>Yank Smashy out of glitch city. Impale Rdj with him!
5: You grab Smashy (pff, time and space) and attempt to run Mardja Lualdi through! (+1 to your next roll) Smashy is a mess of garbled pixels, so this doesn't really hurt him. Mardja Lualdi must roll to dodge!
6-1: Smashy glitches into a doll. You viciously beat rdj around with fluffiness. (+1 to your next roll)
>Use the Dowsing Rod to retrieve the Hoard card from the discard pile, then use Turning (Cleric Power) to re-fight the Potted Plant and its Mate.
4+1: You grab Hoard (always awesome) and play the Mate card from your hand to beat down plants. You gain 2 levels and 2 treasures! (+1 to your next roll)
I can't warden my dungeon myself.
> Install an AI that will administrate monsters and spawning and treasure etc, include programming to nuke people who level grind a lot
why am i always ouch gdi
1-1: You perfect your AI. It cheerfully warns people of approaching dangers, offering strategy, helpful tips, and cool, refreshing drinks.
god... god dammit ;_;
> VEGAN ZOMBIE ADVENTURES
5: You start playing the newest game in the Zombiekids series. This one involves climbing a mountain to get to the Black Wheat of Despair while avoiding villagers with fire and brain monsters. The goal is to get to the top without eating anyone or being eaten. It's tougher than it sounds! (+1 to your next roll)
> Cast First Aid like my life depends on it! Because it does!
4+1: FASTO EIDO
Mardja Lualdi has been healed! (+1 to your next roll)
> #2f(@fjf23jfkl2f until I am Nethack-style cursed and inflict Doom on anyone using me as an equip
2: $H27394h$%&
You are now a consumable item.
Well, it's not so bad I guess.
>Make every single floor a teleporter maze!
3: You start to construct teleporter mazes, but at one point you accidentally step on one and now you can't remember where you are anymore.
This was a terrible idea! (-1 to your next roll)
> Better yet! Form an orchestra with my fellow Boos!
4: Boorchestra! Sadly, many of your compatriots (alright, all of them) suffer from stage fright. They're competent, but this'll take a while.
>Use time powers to make all teleport mazes never happen
5: You do a whrabkerrrrrrr, Hanzo is suddenly very confused! (+1 to your next roll)
With this new weapon, I will be forever!
>Invade Hanzo's lair, bring in Maya along for more fun.
4-1: You make your way into the lair, but are frustrated by dead ends. This place doesn't work very well without the teleporters. (-1 to your next roll)
> Do NOT attempt to aquire the Black Wheat of Dispair
6-1: You attempt this so thoroughly that it wraps right around, corrects your spelling errors, and you find yourself in possession of the final component of the CATACLYSM MUFFIN! (+1 to your next roll)
>Get Decade's belt. and W's belt too. Can I conquer the rainbow place now? :<
3-1: These belts are far too bitchin' for you. You weep tears at the thought of obtaining them, but you cannot go farther.
>Channel the Concrete Donkey (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF4Gu-qeNsA).
4: DONKEY BOUNCE
GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!
1-1: THERE'S NOWHERE TO HIDE
GuardianTempest has lost the game!
> Engage in some serious counter-flailing. TOWNIE counterflailing. Subdue the beast and add it to my henchman armies!
3-1: You scum counterflail. It is of no avail. Some screeching noises echo in the cave. You are becoming disoriented.
Now that the internal politics are secure, time to see what's outside.
>Commence diplomatic and trade relations with neighbouring countries.
4+1: You start to push for stronger relations with your neighbors. They are hesitant, after your brutal reputation, but you iron out a few preliminary treaties and bribe several dozen high-level officials. You're off to a good start. (+1 to your next roll)
>Teach Dr. Robotnik Rasengan
4-1: You decide to teach Simon Belmont how to do a Getsuga Tenshou instead. This is really stupid. (-1 to your next roll)
>Reunite Savage Garden.
5: You demonstrate that you may have just discovered a cure for cancer. They have no choice! Ahahaha! (+1 to your next roll)
BUFFED
Cho'Purvis
I have no name
Edible
Mardja Lualdi
UK
Raikaria
Desu_Cake
Sourfang
OUCHED
Hanzo
Momijibot
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
Nooo ;-;
You are the worst AI :qq:
> rewire Hanzo's teleporters into the actually unpleasant bits of my dungeon
-
>Devour Smashy!
-
>Gain the power of Hanzo's fire so we may properly enjoy the steakhouse!
-
ZOMBIE VOW OF ABSTINENCE
You cannot feed on the brains of the living.
Wait a minute!
I can't feed on the brains of the living...
SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THE BRAINS OF THE DEAD!
>Take out your newfound carniverous glee on a surprisingly murderous Purvis. If he dies, free brain!
-
> Create CATACLYSM MUFFIN
-
> Eat Cataclysm Muffin.
-
> Solve the stage fright problem by positioning the orchestra with their backs to the audience.
-
>"Maya, my little sis, run, run as far away as you can. You'll be the heir of the kingdom, just as you always wanted. So go, as I'll die a heroic death protecting you whilst...doing SOMETHING."
-
> @#Fj029jf@FMO#@#f combat usable item only (and squeaky noises while we're at it)
-
> Play the 5 go up a level cards I got from hoard and the potted plants and reach Level 9.
-
Well, guess this is plenty of teleporters for now.
>Stop adding teleporter floors
-
No, Hanzo.
Continue adding teleporter floors. They'll all lead to the rooms my crappy dungeonmaster AI is unaware of. The ones full of horrible things.
-
OKAY.
>OOOs BELT. BECAUSE I CAN DO TAMASHII.
-
That's actually a good idea.
>Develop a cure for cancer. And then another one, in case the first one fails or becomes ineffective.
-
>Sudden all-inclusive Roll to Dodge contest involving manly quests, like beer swilling, beard growing, arm wrestling, caber tossing, and other comraderie growing adventures!
-
Dang it, two 3's in a row?
Do I get a prize if I get 3 3's?
Anyway,
>Prepare anti Cataclysm Muffin
-
Due to technical issues at work (isn't it fun how often we have these?) Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
-
Just gives me time to..
3-1: You scum counterflail. It is of no avail. Some screeching noises echo in the cave. You are becoming disoriented.
..How did I know this would happen? ;_;
> Run to the nearest teleporter and bumble into the correct sequence to safety through sheer comedic incompetence
-
>Check to see whether there are any heirs to the former ruler hanging around. If any are found, offer them a job.
-
Due to the massive overflow of work from yesterday, Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH will not be updated today.
-
>Update Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH
-
>Update Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH
2: You try to update, but you are brained in the back of the head by a pile of work!
Thanks to UK's terrible roll, Roll to DAAAAAUUUGHHHH is on hiatus until further notice.
-
I knew that would happen ._.
I was about to post a one, though...
-
....Smooth one.
-
In fact, wouldn't a 1 put it on hiatus more than a 2? Because a 1 would be the exact opposite of what I wanted...ah well
-
Can we have a replacement mod/parser in the meantime?
-
Parsing roll to dodge is suffering.
-
Can we have a replacement mod/parser in the meantime?
Are you enough of a masochist to guest update?
-
Can we have a replacement mod/parser in the meantime?
Honestly I had not thought of this.
One the one hand, it would be a shame to have this die off completely. On the other, I was enjoying this, and I'd like to finish it up in my own way...
I know up front that I am going to be overloaded for this week, so at minimum I'm calling a 1-week hiatus. Next Monday, I'll see how things are going at work. If nothing else, I'll probably start doing updates either at night or on the weekends.
-
> @Fj2o9fj293p#F@#(F until work overload disappears
(No not replacing the old command)
-
HEY THESHIM
-
Nooo ;-;
You are the worst AI :qq:
> rewire Hanzo's teleporters into the actually unpleasant bits of my dungeon
5: You successfully manage to divert some of Hanzo's teleporters to lead to your dungeon. Your AI prepares a welcome for any guests who may be in need of assistance. It also serves you a glass of cranberry juice. (+1 to your next roll)
>Devour Smashy!
6+1: You attempt to use Smashy! Smashy must roll to dodge!
5: Oak: Purvis! This isn't the time to use that! (+1 to your next roll)
>Gain the power of Hanzo's fire so we may properly enjoy the steakhouse!
5+1: You try to take Hanzo's fire and accidentally start sucking the very life from him! Hanzo must roll to dodge!
4-1: Hanzo deflects you with some fire, but he's hurtin'. (-1 to your next roll)
Wait a minute!
I can't feed on the brains of the living...
SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THE BRAINS OF THE DEAD!
>Take out your newfound carniverous glee on a surprisingly murderous Purvis. If he dies, free brain!
1+1: You attempt to attack Purvis for his brain, but your hunger makes you sluggish and weak. You can't even catch him.
> Create CATACLYSM MUFFIN
1+1: You attempt to finally craft the legendary CATACLYSM MUFFIN. But your oven is totally insufficient! The CATACLYSM MUFFIN can only be baked in the FIRES OF ETERNAL PUNISHMENT.
> Eat Cataclysm Muffin.
6+1: You eat the Cataclysm Muffin. The lack of allcaps merely means an extremely large muffin, marbled with chocolate and vanilla and iced enough to give even the hardiest of men a stomachache.
It is delicious.
> Solve the stage fright problem by positioning the orchestra with their backs to the audience.
3: You position the orchestra facing away from the audience, but some hooligans take advantage of this to sneak up behind them and yell, throwing off their timing. Morale is at an all-time low. (-1 to your next roll)
> @#Fj029jf@FMO#@#f combat usable item only (and squeaky noises while we're at it)
2+1: W$%jseu@#$%L1MLN#%$
You are now a level 17 AEFU*@#%*@HN (-1 to your next roll)
> Play the 5 go up a level cards I got from hoard and the potted plants and reach Level 9.
2+1: You gain a few levels, but your fellow players play a Duck of Doom! You should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeon! (-1 to your next roll)
Well, guess this is plenty of teleporters for now.
>Stop adding teleporter floors
5-1: You've no idea where you are. Now sounds like a good idea to not have more teleporters around.
OKAY.
>OOOs BELT. BECAUSE I CAN DO TAMASHII.
6: You get OOOs belt! It is currently worn by OOO!
AWWW YEAH
That's actually a good idea.
>Develop a cure for cancer. And then another one, in case the first one fails or becomes ineffective.
6+1: You develop a cure for cancer. It also cures everything else. You don't even know how that works! But there's only one...
>Sudden all-inclusive Roll to Dodge contest involving manly quests, like beer swilling, beard growing, arm wrestling, caber tossing, and other comraderie growing adventures!
1: You attempt to create a Mass Roll to Dodge, but the parser fortunately rolls a 1 and shuts that down. Do you want this update or not?
Dang it, two 3's in a row?
Do I get a prize if I get 3 3's?
Anyway,
>Prepare anti Cataclysm Muffin
3-1: You get no prize. And no muffin.
Just gives me time to.. ..How did I know this would happen? ;_;
> Run to the nearest teleporter and bumble into the correct sequence to safety through sheer comedic incompetence
2: You try to run to a teleporter, but the constant shrieking causes you to lose your sense of direction. Several indistinct shapes flit by your face. You are losing track of time and space...
>Check to see whether there are any heirs to the former ruler hanging around. If any are found, offer them a job.
6+1: It turns out that the monarch had a son. You offer them a job. They take it.
You have just abdicated. Well done!
BUFFED
Chisou Taizen
OUCHED
Kasu
Smashy
I have no name
SERIOUSLY OUCHED
-
DEADED
(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADED
Pesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
QUIT
(Sourfang)
-
> Contemplate Cat Planet.
-
Well, this isn't so bad.
>Send out a massive frost pulse throughout the dungeon! Including through the teleporters!
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>Celebrate the return of RtD by snacking on a random player's non-brain bits. I hear lungs are in season.
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The duck of doom?
Ha. I scoff at this.
> Play a Wishing Ring
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> Do anything except find the FIRES OF ETERNAL PUNISHMENT.
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> Attempt to raise morale by delivering an epic speech involving our past successes and what a successful concert could mean for us.
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>Give Hanzo a free trip to Auriga via hammer throwing!
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Excellent! Phase 7.6 of the grand plan is complete!
> Proceed to phase 7.7
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> b#$FIOA3jfIOA#FJflk until my life is Unlimited Sacrifice (http://swogitools.com/card.php?id=200035) Works
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>Use Hanzo's life force to create a warforged that uses time magic.
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> Pour juice (after a ravenous sipping) upon nearest teleporter trap with the intent of mildly dousing (and by that I mean life-threateningly dousing) somebody.
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>Commission Megaman Legends 4.
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>TAKA! IMAGIN! SHOCKER! "HENSHIN!"
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Who wouldn't want a contest of manlyness?
Oh, and I finally finished Feet of Clay: I laughed so hard when the guilds tried to frame Vimes. Also, taking a real shine to Nobby too.
>Pay taxes.
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:(
>Buy muffins from muffins store
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>Rename thread to 'Quatro Puppy: Guild of Fluffiness'
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(Late comer here, did not catch up yet but)
> Create a brick
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I read about half the thread before getting DISTACTED. But I think I'll jump aboard too while the thread is idle.
> Rise up and become a Fire Emblem-style Lord.