What is this?
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This is a story of the past, a story of my own. It is something I hold close to my heart. I was too afraid to share this story because I knew it was self-serving and made in a way that only I could enjoy. But now, a year later, I fear I may begin to forget this story I poured my heart and soul into. That is why I now write this outline. How detailed I will get will depend on the story, but note that this is only an outline; Above all else, I simply don?t have the endurance to write a story this long. Still, I want to share this, if only with a few people. Now, behold the story that never made the transition from ink to paper, mind to computer.
The beginning
The story begins with, well, me. I am my own main character. This is the part that you just kind of have to accept if you want to read my story: This is a self-insert story, and yes, a lot of it revolves around me. I?m often not the character of focus, especially later on, but the majority of the story is told from my perspective. We got that out of the way? Okay.
Well, as most inserts go, in reality Donut (I dislike seeing my real name in print, so I?ll call him Donut) isn?t really much like me at all. He is impulsive, emotional, and much more bold than myself. Certainly no ideal figure, but whatever. His past is also quite different, but we?ll get to that later.
Donut is about twenty three at the beginning of the story. He has a minimalistic sense of dress, trying to blend into society, trying to fade away? He has been drifting through society for the past seven years, refusing any close contacts. Several years ago he made his way to Japan, and is now more or less fluent in the language (acceptable break from reality, I realize I?m tripping all sorts of self-insert flags already, but I think I can be granted this one). Since he never sticks in one spot for long, he is poor and often lives the ?outside life.?
Anyway, Donut?s aimless wandering through life brings him to a late autumn day, 2007. He?s currently residing in Kyoto, a city known for its spirituality and tranquility.
Maybe I?ll find some beauty in this place?
Donut has always looked for a place he feel he can find feeling in again. Since his daaaark and depreeeeeessing past, he hasn?t ever found it. Well, he certainly doesn?t have the budget to leave Japan for a while yet, so he may as well relax.
After about a month in this city though, it seems it wasn?t doing it for Donut either. Even as he flew to the tops of shrines and overlooked the prestine metropolis, Donut couldn?t feel like he belonged here. He never felt he belonged in this world (don?t we all though?). He sighed and decided he would leave for the country tomorrow, but first he needed a place to rest. Taking to the air, he eventually found a decrepit old shrine hidden just outside the city in some hills. As he touched down, he found some shrine offerings, meaning he had dinner that night!
Donut holed himself up into the shrine and stretched to take a nap. He knew it was sacrilegious and at the very least disrespectful, but hey, this is the life he chose.
I do hope that nothing finds me here?
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Donut wakes up in the middle of the night. He?s never been one for sleep, so he stretches and decides to look around his newest home. It was a new moon though, so even with his eyes (which he was always proud of), he couldn?t really take in the scenery. Still though?when he concentrated, he felt like something was there. He couldn?t quite place his finger on it?it was like something was keeping him there, but at the same time was keeping him out. It sent a tingling feeling through his fingers. He tried to ignore it as a normal tingling feeling, but as the minutes and even hours wore on, Donut found himself entirely preoccupied with this feeling. He reached out into air, feeling as though there was something to grasp.
?What am I doing. This is stupid??
Donut turned to go back to the shrine to rest ? morning was only a few hours away ? But upon turning back to the shrine he felt the feeling surging. Once he noticed it, he couldn?t turn away. This feeling?it felt like something was here. Some?boundary. He felt the structure of the shrine and felt it even stronger. What was this? Why?
He grit his teeth and held his hand out. He would like to say he was never a spiritual person, but after what he?s experienced he couldn?t really deny there was supernaturalness in the world. And if this was one of those things?
He had to find it!
?There!? He finally grasped it. What ?it? was he wasn?t sure, but he felt it; this presence was now in his hands. Not willing to let it get away, Donut held on tight. It did not struggle. In fact, now that he grasped it, it seemed willing to part. Holding back his exhaustion, he brought his other hand to the force and pulled. Even though he was doing something utterly ridiculous all this time, he recoiled in shock when he realized a hole had just been opened. Beyond this hole in the air a swirling purple mass lay. Donut shivered, but he felt?like he needed to see what was through here. It?s not like he had much to live for anyway. Taking one last look at the world behind him, he hopped through the hole he opened in reality.
Meanwhile, a woman awoke from her slumber. She felt it; something had been disturbed in the barrier. She couldn?t just leave it alone, so she dressed herself and set out to take a look?
First encounter
This is the only arc that was written retroactively, by the way. It is loosely based on my initial experience, where my goal was to beat every extra boss available at the time (excluding Suwako). So, sorry if this is extra sketchy. I swear it gets more coherent later on Anyway, ahem?
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Almost as soon as he did it, Donut regretted his decision to go through that gap.
I?m falling?
He couldn?t tell up from down, left from right. The swirling purple mass was driving him mad. He thought he couldn?t take it anymore, when ?
It suddenly ended. Suddenly, the horrific mass was gone, and Donut regained his composure.
?But, where am I???
He had a feeling he wasn?t in Kyoto anymore (Toto). The shrine was nowhere in sight. Instead there were?
Clear blue skies?
Rolling green hills?
Beautiful trees who shed their brilliantly colored leaves onto the ground.
It was breathtaking for Donut. He certainly had seen this kind of scenery before, but never before did it all feel so?tranquil. He began walking around in awe, forgetting his confusion. In the distance, he thought he saw a village. What could be there, he wondered?
Amid his lost thoughts, a young girl trotted up to him.
?Heya!? Donut turned around.
?Oh, uh, hello.? Awkward silence. The girl had red hair ? and not the kind you normally see. She was wearing a green shirt and yellow shorts. She was holding a baton too for some reason? Odd fashion sense?but then again he?s not one to talk. Finally the girl broke the silence.
?So, what?cha doin???
?Aah? Umm, I..seem to have gotten lost.? Donut didn?t notice, but at those words a small smile crept onto the girls? lips.
?Oh? It?s not easy getting lost in Gensokyo.? The little girl giggled.
?Yeah, I, well, it?s kinda hard to explain. I fell, and suddenly I was here. I was at a shrine before, you see?? Another flicker across the girl?s eyes.
?Ah hah, I see. Then you must be new, human. In that case, welcome to Gensokyo!? She threw up her arms like it was a surprise party. Donut couldn?t exactly say it wasn?t appropriate.
?Gensokyo?? Geez, I really aren?t in Kyoto anymore? Uuh, it?s a very pretty place, isn?t it?? He felt his face grow red, sounding like a child.
The red-haired girl nodded with a grin on her face. ?I?m Orange. I?ll be your guide through this land!? ?Orange?? Well, whatever. Donut was just glad to finally have a guide.
?Thank goodness. So, what is this place? How do I get back?? They began walking together.
?Well, this is a land for youkai. You probably know them as evil spirits, but that?s such a slanderous name.?
Actually I didn?t know? Somehow Donut felt like he could easily go along with this.
?So, erm, this Gensokyo, it has humans too, right??
?That?s right. You can see that village from here, can?t you? That?s where most of the humans live.?
?Huh?? He felt compelled to keep walking with this girl.
After some small talk, the two approached an uphill.
?So, Orange was it? What are these youkai? You make them so other-worldly.? At this, Orange burst out laughing.
?Other-worldly? Human, you are in another world! Gensokyo is not part of your reality! I don?t know how you fell in here, but you gotta learn fast if you wanna survive here.? Donut felt somewhat insulted all of a sudden and got a sullen expression on his face.
?Alright, fine then. This Gensokyo?s not my world, I can even almost believe that because I fell through a portal. But, back to what I said before-?
?About youkai?? Suddenly the girl?s tone changed. She began twirling her baton through her fingers nonchalantly.
?Well, there?s a certain rule here in Gensokyo. If you are a youkai, you get to live a life of fun and excitement. Almost nothing can challenge you, much less the humans.?
Donut blinked, and kept silent.
?The humans, on the other hand, live in that village in fear. Most of them don?t stand a chance against a youkai, and fight back whenever they do.?
?Erm, why. Youkai are just evil spirits, aren?t they??
Orange pouted. ?Didn?t I tell you that was a bad name for us? Come on, pay attention!?
Donut stammered.
I should probably not upset the girl who?s my guide?
?Sorry, I?m sorry, okay? So um, why are the youkai and humans always fighting? Is there some civil war? This place is too pretty to be war-torn?? Orange giggled softly.
?Well, let?s leave it at that. You don?t need to know everything.? Orange ran ahead to the top of the hill.
?W-wait! Where should I go?? Donut reached his hand out.
?To the village, dummy! Oh, but if you want to leave this land, you should head to the shrine you were talking about. It?s not far from here, I reckon.?
Leave. Leave this place? Donut wouldn?t dream of it. This place, even though he just got here, it felt so?different from everywhere he had been up until now. For the first time, he wanted to explore, get to know a place. This?land of youkai and humans.
?A-alright, so the village. I think I can get there, so I guess this is where we part ways. See ya Orange, and than-?
?Oh, leaving so soon??
?Eeh?? Donut looked back to the top of the hill. Orange was facing away from him, twirling her baton from finger to finger.
?Hee hee, you really aren?t the brightest person, are you human? You really think you can just leave here like that?
For the first time, Donut picked up on how she referred to him. He thought it was just because he never introduced himself.
?U-um, sorry. It?s a bit late, but my name?s Donut. I?m sorry for not introducing myself sooner.? He bowed, but the height difference made it look ridiculous.
An awkward silence. Crap, did he screw up again? He never was very good with people.
?Then, Donut, I will tell you one last thing. Youkai desire humans. They are a delicacy, you could say.?
She turned around, an innocent smile on her face.
?O-oh? Is that so??? Donut?s eyes widened and he slowly started backing away.
?Sometimes we can get along, but, you know, sometimes we get hungry??
She continued to twirl the baton from hand to hand.
Donut gulped as he finally began understanding his position.
?S-so, Orange. About that shrine you were talking ab-?
?I think the time for questions is over human. It looks like you?re going to die here. What a pity; it was kind of fun. Now, hold still??
Orange tossed the baton into the air and jumped. To Donut?s shock, she did not come down. Floating in mid-air, she caught the spinning baton and thrust it in Donut?s direction. Donut began breathing heavily.
Shoot, it?s not just me? Then I?m not alone in ? w-wait, what am I thinking?! This was no time to be happy.
Donut turned around and began running down the hill. He didn?t even reach the foot before a cluster of balls hit the ground in front of him, stopping him cold.
?Wha-wha is this?!? Donut lifted his head to see Orange right above him. Out of her baton rained down more bullets. Donut didn?t know what the deal was, but he was not intent on finding out what happened if those hit him. He ducked the bullets; good thing he was so good at dodgeball back in school.
Another barrage of bullets rained down upon him, this time coming at an arc. Donut went with his gut and dived to his left. Bad move; he was still on the hill. Even so, his instinct paid off and the bullets seared into the grass around him. Clumsily getting to his feet, Donut tried to plan an escape.
?Geez, I told you to stand still! Don?t make this harder than it is!? Donut couldn?t believe it; Orange wasn?t taking him seriously at all. Is this just a game to her?!
Then more bullets came, this time much more focused around him. Donut judged from the formation that he wouldn?t be able to turn back, and left or right was out of the question. He took a step forward, when he saw that was cut off too ? it was a complete circle around him. She must be trapping him so she can finish him off.
Donut gritted his teeth. He wasn?t going to let it end like this, not when he just found someplace interesting!
Then, I gotta take the only way out. And it?s THERE! Donut bolted down the hill.
?Ha ha, you fool!? Orange concentrated more bullets to the front, and reared into a diving position. Donut saw the bullets raining down in front of him, but he wasn?t concerned with those. He balled his fists and began concentrating.
Remember how it was that one time?remember how it felt!
Just a few meters from the bullets. Orange dived.
?It?s over human!?
?Yes, over YOU!? Donut leapt into the air. Orange stopped herself before she crashed into the ground and gaped in disbelief.
?Wh-what-!?
Donut flew above her. He was a bit unsteady, but he held himself in the air well enough. Spinning his body around, he positioned himself above Orange with his arms folded. He did not look happy.
?H-human, you?I thought you were from the outside world! This isn?t possible, you can?t fly!?
?You said it yourself Orange; you got to learn fast in Gensokyo.?
Orange puffed her cheeks and flew up to his level. It looks like this was just the beginning.
What followed was a protracted dance. Donut did his best to dodge Orange?s assault. It was intimidating, but even as clumsy as he was in the air he could avoid them well enough. The problem was he couldn?t do the same. He was trying to figure it out in between dodges, but he couldn?t even comprehend what she was firing.
Finally, Donut?s luck ran out. Getting his left turn mixed up with his right, Donut got a line of bullets straight to the ribs.
?A-aah!? Pain. This?hurt. It seems it wasn?t lethal, but he felt weaker.
This isn?t good?I gotta get away.
That was out of the question though as long as Orange was still after him. Donut panted in exhaustion; he was already running out of energy. Damn it, he has to end this quickly!
Alright, come on. We can do this. She does it like it?s no thing, so concentrate! Think with your hands?!
Donut flew up high to avoid the next wave of Orange?s straight-line assault. He tensed up his hands. They began quivering. As hard as he tried, all he succeeded in doing was cramping up his wrists.
?Grr, this isn?t working?maybe if I think with my head instead??
Orange sneered. ?Come on, is running all you can do? And here I thought you?d put up a fight.? She gripped her baton with both hands; she seemed to be charging up.
Donut snarled. He couldn?t take this condescending attitude anymore! Donut concentrated as hard as he could. He felt this energy coursing through him that let him float in the air?the energy that kept him alive. The energy that drove him to continue living!
Donut wasn?t entirely sure what he did, but he tapped into it. He held out his hands and pushed forward with a shout. A barrage of bullets erupted from his hands at lightning speed. Orange stopped what she was doing and opened her eyes wide.
?H-hey, what ? AAH!? Orange did not react quick enough, and was caught by the barrage.
What Donut was firing was all white; it was more like a bunch of lights than the shaped bullets Orange fired. Still, Donut was not one to complain. He put everything he had into it.
*pant*
*pant*
*pant*
He couldn?t do it any more. His head felt light, and he began drooping down to the ground. Before he touched down though, Orange outright fell, sputtering and coughing. Did he really do that much?
?By your leave?!? Donut gasped this out and began running. He didn?t know where he was going; he just ran.
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So, yeah. This is a self-insert story I created over a period of two and a half years. Because it was a self-insert story, and because I have no work-ethic when it comes to writing, I never put it into written form. But now, I feel like I need to get it all down, eventually. So, here you are. No proof-reading, no formatting, no second drafts; this is what I want to write. What do you all think?