I have no explanation for this, except that this attacked me in my sleep and would not cease in the worrying of my flesh until it was written.
The Classroom, usually a merry and jubilant place of fun, was filled with the sound of... no sound. It was quiet, serene, calm-- three words that did not belong in the same sentence as ?Cirno's Perfect Math Classroom?.
Yes, it was evening, with UFO Romance of the Night Sky playing in the background for atmosphere. But there ought to have been something stirring, some low hum of activity as CPMC's night owls emerged, or people who arrived in the Classroom from other time zones... not a complete absence of sound.
This was Zengar's first indication that something was wrong.
Thankfully, he acted on it. He was no idiot.
? well, for now, anyway.
-----
Zengar hadn't been the first to notice something was wrong, to be sure. Rou had him beat there. It was strange... one moment he had been in Akyu's Arcade, organizing a game of Mafia for everyone to enjoy and scream at one another over, and now...
For some odd reason, he could not remember his arrival.
"Pesco," Roukan asked softly, not looking at him but instead focusing on the computer screen before him, "do you remember when I first returned from CPMC...?"
"Is this a test?" Pesco asked with a grin, ruffling Roukan's hair even as his Tewi devastated Rou's Youmu in the PoFV match they were playing. "Of course I remember... it was after we bumped into each other in the fanworks section and someone was talking about CPMC... no, it was in UGW, something from CPMC got moved there..."
"That must be it," Rou agreed, launching a level 4 dragon spell. But even as Tewi blew up and Pesco screamed, he knew in the back in of his mind that something wasn't right. And somehow, even as he enjoyed Pesco's company, he knew something was amiss. But, he thought, enjoying the moment, did it really matter? He'd finally gotten what he'd always yearned for... friends who cared and liked him honestly and completely for who he was. What did it matter if a few details were off?
"Something's not right," he muttered.
Roukan was jarred out of his thoughts by a bite to his earlobe. Pesco had put down his controller and was pulling him closer... it was pleasant...
--yet worrying at the same time.
"Pesco," he whispered breathlessly, "weren't you supposed to be..." He exhaled as Pesco's hand touched his neck. "...nightkilling someone?"
"It can wait for later, Rou," the Obvscum said, drawing closer still, his breath tickling Rou's ear. Rou half-closed his eyes and wanted to surrender to the feelings that were engulfing him--
But something within him pulled him back from the edge.
"No, it can't," Rou said firmly, pulling away. He turned to face Pesco. The look in Pesco's eyes was full of amusement and joy. Totally. There was none of the raw forcefulness, or sardonic persona that he had exhibited when they had first met. Rou knew that if he slapped him in the face right now, he'd take it with an unflinching smile. Something was very, very wrong here.
"I'm... not in the mood," he said sternly, even though he felt his own heart saying, "No, you want to play tonight. Things can wait until tomorrow." He felt an almost palpable energy forcing him to want to be amorous and flirty, submissive and silly...
"Something's wrong!" Rou cried, holding his head and dropping to his knees. As if snapped out of his trance by Rou's yelling, Pesco's expression grew serious, his concern for Rou overriding whatever amorous impulse that had taken hold of him moments before. Kneeling down, he locked gazes with Roukan, and saw the look of confusion in his eyes, mirrored in his own.
"Pesco," Rou began huskily, trying to overcome the new emotions of fear and dread that were creeping into his voice, "I think... I think... you're being used... to manipulate me... to distract me... to keep me from doing what must be done..."
Pesco nodded.
?Get out of here,? he said. He reached out to squeeze Rou's hand. ?I think... I've already given in to it...?
?What?! No, Pesco. I can't leave you behind...? Roukan looked at him, despair in his eyes. ?Look, see, I'm still fine... You'll be fine, it'll go away--?
?No, it won't!? his partner replied, much more loudly than he should have. Akyu's Arcade wasn't exactly a deserted place; many people from all over MoTK ended up in the Arcade some way or another, and some of those people were in very high positions, indeed...
Rou caught the glance of a single lunatic red eye.
Swallowing, he forced himself to turn away. ?Keep it down,? he begged. ?I think I'm... not the only one here who's noticed.?
?Hmm,? Pesco muttered. He began to rummage through his pockets. ?Huh, where did I leave that thing...?
?What is it, Pesco...?? Rou was cut off by Pesco pulling a furry... thing out of his pocket. ?What in the hell is that??
?This,? he said, leaning in and tying it around Rou's wrist, ?Is a good-luck charm.?
?A rabbit's foot?? Rou held it up to the dim light. He realized what this meant, if Pesco had given it to him. He smiled. ?Thanks, Pesco...?
?Quick, now. You have to get out of here... There's not much time.?
?How do you know??
Pesco took one finger and held it to his head. ?Mindhax.?
Rou smirked. ?Just pure instinct, then??
?Of course,? his friend laughed. ?Okay, you have to go now.?
?... I'll come back for you,? Rou said, catching Pesco up in a brief, but intense, hug.
?I know you will.? Pesco grinned. ?Now, go!?
Rou saluted and snuck around the corner while Pesco went to the Mafia planning table.
The single lunatic red eye that had been following Rou turned back to its own devices.
-----
Zengar followed the trail. It was a tricky thing to be following; leaving only a light blue glow where it had been, it had spread far and wide...
CPMC, however, seemed to have contained it for now. Cirno's Perfect Math Classroom, this place was called. A vast, wild, lawless region hidden in a small corner of MoTK at large. It was called CPMC because the tall mountains to the far north literally read ?CIRNO'S PERFECT MATH CLASSROOM? in thousand-feet-tall letters.
Despite its name, this was no math classroom. It was inhabited by waves of marauders and travelers that had made CPMC their home. Zengar was at the top of Mount I want a taco.. at the moment, and looked out over the land. Truly, it was a wild place...
But from up here, he could see everything and everyone in the faint light of the blue grass moon. He saw quite a few things that he probably shouldn't have, and many other things he had no business knowing, but there...!
The crawling, almost sentient blue mist seeping through a crack in the wall--!
-----
It reached the most unlikely of places. The Touhou Livestream Channel was not part of MoTK in any way, except in that a few select travelers from MoTK had ended up there from time to time. Right now, though, it was late, and so the channel was largely deserted...
Groaning. Grunting. A moan, and-- ?OH GOD WHAT THE HELL! STOP THAT!?
With that, Gpop emerged from the moderation center, a wrench in his hand. He crawled out and looked at the face of the channel, to survey his efforts.
?Hmm... might need a bit of tweaking, but it'll do for now.?
He got to his feet and brushed his matted hair away from his sweaty forehead, sighing. ?Ah... maybe it's good as it is.? He nodded. ?Koishi-chan ought to like this.?
As a brand-new moderator, it was his first time working with the header. He had changed the header from a Kogasa theme to a picture of Koishi and Satori, called ?Averse Thoughts of the Underground.?
He smiled at his own handiwork, pleased. ?Hope Chibity and Anthony like it. Even if it doesn't have Eirin or Mima.?
Well, that was it for tonight, wasn't it? He looked back at the gateway to MoTK that he had come in from earlier. Did he really want to check CPMC before he went to bed, or did he want to go straight to the special Koishi folder he had secreted away on his flash drive--
?That's a question?? He smirked, reaching into his pocket for the flash drive. ?Well, as Theorin would put it... I'll be in my bunk.?
He nodded to himself again and reached for the lights--
?GAH?!?
He felt his knees suddenly refuse to stay locked. His knees bent; he fell forward. Twisting instinctively, he slammed his shoulder into the floor, and winced. ?Wh-- what the hell is this...?!?
Just then, he noticed a light around his face. He had turned off the lights a split second before he had fallen, so it was pitch-black... what was this, then? It had such a cool blue glow..
And then it came closer to him--
Gpop barely had time to gasp in shock as the blue mist covered him like a wave of water would smother a sand castle.
-----
Zengar's heart was pounding as he reached the bottom of Mount I want a taco... Had he just seen the unthinkable?! He had. He had seen the blue mist breaching the borders of CPMC... had the barriers surrounding the Classroom been so weakened that the mysterious mist could escape?!
He had to stop it.
He reached the bottom of the mountain. The vehicle that had gotten him there was still intact, although Mode and her band of roving trobadours had evidently had their fun with it. With slight disgust, Zengar tore off the silly string on his motorcycle, then started the machine, revved the engine, and drove off as fast as he could to the border, Zankantou strapped to his back.
He had to stop it before it hurt anyone--
-----
Meanwhile, elsewhere. There was hot and heavy maid roleplay going on. And at the same time, others were taking a break.
?Honestly,? she said, stretching out onto a sofa. ?Don't you ever get enough of the ero scenes??
?You know the answer to that already. Why do you even have to ask??
?Fair point.? The roleplayer smiled and looked to the door wherein the maid roleplay was going on. There were cameras in there, of course, and to glance at them would have been no trouble. But she took special care to not do so; she was actually sitting facing away from the screen where it was being transmitted to.
?Why don't you look? I know you'd like to.?
In front of her, the roleplayer known as Serpentarius was sitting, wearing a dark black cloak, black pants and a red dress shirt. His eyes betrayed his sinister bemusement as he observed the reaction of his conversation partner. He scrutinized every line of her face, her posture, her rhythm and pattern of breathing, Why, he was even fairly certain he had a handle on her blood pressure, too-- after all, it was an important detail. And to him, details were everything.
He could almost see the outburst bubbling inside her, clawing and tearing at her mind, itching for release in the form of a clenched fist, or a verbal splutter-- a mumbling, a shout, or even a delicious scream of rage.
For her part, it hurt her a little to hear him say those words. But his cutting words had always been of service to her-- either when they had cut away the veneer of a person of interest, allowing her to see the truth of them, or whether they had cut her, forced her to dig deep inside and confront herself.
Words hurt, but they did not kill those of strong will. Words like Serp's only killed those who let them. And she would not let these words kill her.
She glanced away and eyed the clock.
?It's my bedtime. I'd rather not have those sorts of visions dancing about in my dreams, thank you very much.?
?You go to sleep rather early, don't you?? He tilted his head to the side, a hungry smirk on his face. ?Why don't you stay up late with me??
?Nah.? She returned the smile and got to her feet, throwing on her Yumemi-inspired cape. ?I'd much rather rest. Good night, Serp.?
?Good night.? He waited until she was almost out the door to interrupt her. ?Actually, wait.?
?Yes??
?When the time comes that your ideals turn out to be nothing more than lies, just remember--? He smiled at her-- ?If you ever want to stop caring about right and wrong, I can always help you with that."
"Oh, yes." She returned the smile, humorlessly. "I remember. Thanks, but no thanks-- I much prefer my morals the way they are, thank you."
?Suit yourself. Good night.?
?Good night.?
With that, the girl closed the door, walked down the hall, and put her hands into her pockets to warm them from the frosty CMPC night air.
?UFO Romance of the night sky?? She looked up. ?Not bad, I guess... wait.?
She happened, by chance, to see a faint blue glow at the edge of her vision. It wouldn't have mattered to her if she had seen if a few months ago. She would have dismissed it as a result of her farsightedness, and groaned about having to wear glasses.
In fact, she had technically never seen it. She had been asleep when it had smothered her those months ago--
Feeling a cold panic in the bottom of her stomach, she turned and ran.
Is it after me? Or 'nako? Or even Purvis...? She thought as she ran, getting out of sight, running to the one place of refuge she dared to lay her head down at night in.
And then a second, scarier thought occurred to her--
Or is it after someone new entirely...?
-----
Zengar had arrived at the breach.
Whipping Zankantou off his back, he yelled and ran straight at the breach in the wall where the blue mist was leaking. ?I AM HERE TO CLEAVE EVIL!? he yelled as his sword came down.
Completely unsurprisingly, it acted just like mist did; it parted and kept going. With a cry of anger, he heaved his sword back up and swung it wildly, trying to cut it apart.
The mist conferred within itself, wondering if this boy wasn't enough of a fool already without its influence. Then it seemed to decide that he would be a good conductor, and within seconds it engulfed him, swathing him in blue mist.
... maybe he should have thought this through a little better.
-----
?OMG ITS ROU!??
Rou froze, hoping against hope that he hadn't been seen.
?Cum out bitch!!!?
Nope. He had been caught. What to do?!
Mentally, he went over his options.
[] HOT BLOODED RESPONSE
[] Stuttering indecision
[] FIST OF UNZAN
[X] ##Yuyuko Doll
?YUYUKO DOLL!? he declared as he threw out--
Nothing. He didn't have a Yuyuko doll. He sighed.
?Wat was dat?!?!?! U moronic idiot!? the voice shooted angstily.
?Who the heck are you?? he asked as he came closer.
A?lice Margatroid was standing there. ?Hajimemashite boi.? he said happily.
It was....................................... A'lice!
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
He paused for a moment.
?... are you parodying My Immortal, or do you really speak like that??
?I really spek like dis!!!!My life is 2 deprzzing!!!!? A'lice ejaculated menacingly.
Rou looked at Alice-- er, A'lice-- in wide-eyed horror. Was this what he would become if he stayed here...!?
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
?Would you please stop that?? Rou hissed as that stupid linebreaking thing happened. Using what little mindhax ability he had, he forced the linebreak back to normal.
-----
?Much better.?
?WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKER!? A'lice cried sexily.
?Oh god, Alice, what happened to you?!? This wasn't Alice, it couldn't be! The Alice he knew was the Alice who could never lose a game of Mafia even if he tried! The Alice who could tell who was scum from Day 1! This Alice was--
A'lice got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face. ?Oh Rou ur so kawai!111111!1 ? he screemed passively.
?... uh,? he stammered. ?Can you let me pass??
A'lice looked at him triumelephantly. ?Of course I can!!? He paused dramitaclly, waving his hand in the air. Then he sang to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent while slitting his wrists.
?Thanks,? Rou muttered as he edged his way out the door, trying not to touch A'lice for fear of contamination.
?Wate,? A'lice screamed inactivly. ?Take dis!? he yelled in madly.
Rou was handed a real, genuine Yuyuko doll.
?Uh, thank you??
?Ur such a PREP!!! i kin tel weder ur a prep or not!!!!! FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF!? A'lice lunched at him, ?Abra Kedavra!? he yelled at Rou pointing his womb.
?Oh god!? Panicked, he ran out the door, holding his breath, and didn't stop until he had reached the cool night air of the CPMC evening.
Then he turned around, looking at the large mansion where Akyu's Arcade was, knowing that he had left Pesco in there to suffer--!
?Oh, Pesco...!? He felt tears sting his eyes. He shoved his hand into his pocket to pull out the rabbit's foot. Holding it up to the light of the moon, he watched it move slightly in the breeze.
?I promsise,? he said, clutching it to his chest. ?I won't leave you there. I'll come back for you!?
Descending from the hills of Unlimited Game Works, he went to find someone who might know something.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
?I thought that was fixed.? He scowled, looking at the linebreak, not watching where he was going--
Rou tripped and fell into a small crevice in the rock.
?Ouch,? he groaned as he sat up and rubbed his head. ?That was...?
He didn't even have time to scream before the blue mist crept over him.
-----
?The counter force is moving...?
He frowned, then frowned even more when she realized she had used the masculine pronoun. Force of habit, he supposed.
In any case. She had seen the sacred fire moving. It was time to act.
Throwing on a long blue cloak, she left her pagoda in the trees of CPMC's eastern forest, trying to ignore the drunken revelers who were dancing naked around a fireplace to his right somewhere.
Masculine pronoun again. She sighed and looked up at the night sky.
No one, she reflected, would ever know she had walked this path. She was but a momentary disturbance in the fabric of the ever-changing tapestry that was CMPC.
She paused, thinking. If she stopped here, now, and turned back... she could avoid the lunacy, the craziness.
But if she did not... the person she was meant to help would surely fall and die.
One future or another. A choice. A decision.
?If you go,? the pink-haired girl had said, ?You will begin something that will consume all of CMPC.?
?And if I stay??
?That is not for you to know.?
To empty the pages of CMPC's future history, to drain them of lunacy and idiocy... at the cost of ending one story, here and now...
She stepped forward again, brightly-colored clothes a stark contrast with the dark green of the forest as she continued walking to the place she knew she had to go. The path was set, destiny assured.
-----
?'nako!?
The two other inhabitants turned to look at the newcomer.
?What is it, Ruro?? Kanako asked.
She took a deep breath. ?Have you felt it, 'nako??
?I...? He frowned. ?... now that you mention it...?
?Have you felt anything, Donut?? Ruro demanded, turning to the former Idiot Maiden, who turned away.
?... a tingle.?
?I knew it.? Ruro entered and shut the door behind her. ?It's back.?
?It's not coming after us, though,? Kanako said. ?It doesn't want us.?
?No,? she replied. ?It wants new victims.?
?New... victims?!? Donut exclaimed, getting to his feet. ?Then we have to stop it!?
?We can't,? Kanako said. ?At least not tonight. Sit down.?
?Why?! Why can't we do anything?? Donut demanded.
?Because,? Ruro said, pulling curtains over the windows. ?... at night, when people lose their minds a bit and reason flies out the window, we would be susceptible to it ourselves.?
Donut groaned and put his head in his hands.
?Don't worry,? she said, walking over and sitting next to him, ruffling his fuzzy hair. ?We can go out and help them in the morning.?
?I guess,? he said, standing up and brushing Ruro's hand off of him. ?I'll be in my room,? he said, and with that brusque statement, he left Kanako and Ruro staring at each other.
Ruro sighed. ?... we're getting close to it, then."
Kanako closed his eyes and drew a long, slow breath. "If it hasn't already happened, you mean.?
The former Idiot Deities looked at each other, understanding reflected in their eyes.
?The dawn of a new age, a new age of Idiocy..."
-----
Far away, in the palisades of MoTK, the Board Room looked over the events happening all over the land.
A young woman in particular stood at the window, watching CPMC from a distance.
She smiled.
?It is not wise to tempt Fate.?
Laughing quietly to herself, the pink-haired girl pulled the curtains shut and went to sleep, leaving the blue mist to do its work.
Continue n/n
I'm going to go shank myself and work on better things now.
