Author Topic: Space Fairy Quest - The Legend of the Red Shirt (Complete) (Read 31538 times)

Fightest · « **Reply #240 on:** May 11, 2013, 09:08:40 AM »

> Look. Look! Listen. This may sound stupid, but just listen, okay? Instead of shooting the fairy out of the cannon, what if we shot the cannon out of the fairy? Like, point the cannon the other way around, load the fairy, and instead of the fairy, the cannon gets shot. We'll get a medal and we won't have to spend eternity floating out in space where, frankly, there is a very low shiny concentration per cubic meter.

Hello Purvis · « **Reply #241 on:** May 11, 2013, 10:49:51 AM »

Quote from: Fightest on May 11, 2013, 09:08:40 AM

> Look. Look! Listen. This may sound stupid, but just listen, okay? Instead of shooting the fairy out of the cannon, what if we shot the cannon out of the fairy? Like, point the cannon the other way around, load the fairy, and instead of the fairy, the cannon gets shot. We'll get a medal and we won't have to spend eternity floating out in space where, frankly, there is a very low shiny concentration per cubic meter.

>Genius.

Gappy · « **Reply #242 on:** May 11, 2013, 03:52:09 PM »

Quote from: Fightest on May 11, 2013, 09:08:40 AM

> Look. Look! Listen. This may sound stupid, but just listen, okay? Instead of shooting the fairy out of the cannon, what if we shot the cannon out of the fairy? Like, point the cannon the other way around, load the fairy, and instead of the fairy, the cannon gets shot. We'll get a medal and we won't have to spend eternity floating out in space where, frankly, there is a very low shiny concentration per cubic meter.

> This. Please.

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #243 on:** May 11, 2013, 07:42:02 PM »

Quote from: Yaersulf on May 11, 2013, 05:52:09 AM

>"If I do this I get lots of shinies right?"

>"Well, initial scans say there are a whole bunch of shiny minerals inside the rock, so...I guess? Not really sure, this isn't something I'm used ta doing with my crew members."

Quote from: Anpurvis on May 11, 2013, 06:07:19 AM

>"Oh! Can someone else come too? For double cannon power?!"

>"That will not be possible, unfortunately." Ada bows towards you. "The cannon only has enough power for one shot."
"Also, I think I mentioned before that cannons aren't good for me either." Ember rubs at the back of her head. "All that force and gunpowder doesn't go well with my, uh, complexion."

Quote from: Fightest on May 11, 2013, 09:08:40 AM

> Look. Look! Listen. This may sound stupid, but just listen, okay? Instead of shooting the fairy out of the cannon, what if we shot the cannon out of the fairy? Like, point the cannon the other way around, load the fairy, and instead of the fairy, the cannon gets shot. We'll get a medal and we won't have to spend eternity floating out in space where, frankly, there is a very low shiny concentration per cubic meter.

> The cannon will run off several megatonnes of power from the ship's generator. In comparison the best form of propulsion you can offer is a relatively sharp nudge. Also, you've probably destroyed enough ship hardware for one day.

Kilgamayan · « **Reply #244 on:** May 11, 2013, 07:53:47 PM »

Quote from: Kiglamayandango on May 11, 2013, 04:48:54 AM

> "Yeah, that's my name!"
> Jab a finger at Ada.
> "She said so, even!"

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #245 on:** May 11, 2013, 08:15:53 PM »

(Agh, whoops)

Quote from: Kiglamayandango on May 11, 2013, 04:48:54 AM

> "Yeah, that's my name!"
> Jab a finger at Ada.
> "She said so, even!"

"Nah, she said something else. Something nowhere near as awesome." Blackwing shrugs. "Still, I can definitely trust this duty to someone with a name that immensely kickass. So, tell me - are ya enough of a hero to let us fire ya out of a cannon?"

Hello Purvis · « **Reply #246 on:** May 11, 2013, 09:45:18 PM »

>"I don't think you have enough shinies to stop me!"
>Pause.
>"Do you? Can I have them?"

Fightest · « **Reply #247 on:** May 12, 2013, 08:41:38 AM »

Quote from: Gregorou Housekanken on May 11, 2013, 07:42:02 PM

> The cannon will run off several megatonnes of power from the ship's generator. In comparison the best form of propulsion you can offer is a relatively sharp nudge. Also, you've probably destroyed enough ship hardware for one day.

> You don't get it, you don't get it, you just gotta listen! Look! Look, what we gotta- just listen! Okay? We fire the cannon in reverse. It's all conservation of momentum this and vectors that. If we fire the cannon but then we don't move the force's gotta go somewhere, right? Right? And that's gonna be the cannon. You ask me, how's this all possible, how can this even happen, but I've got your answer right here.

>

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #248 on:** May 12, 2013, 09:57:11 AM »

Quote from: Fightest on May 12, 2013, 08:41:38 AM

> You don't get it, you don't get it, you just gotta listen! Look! Look, what we gotta- just listen! Okay? We fire the cannon in reverse. It's all conservation of momentum this and vectors that. If we fire the cannon but then we don't move the force's gotta go somewhere, right? Right? And that's gonna be the cannon. You ask me, how's this all possible, how can this even happen, but I've got your answer right here.

>

> Noted. You will try really really really hard not to move when the cannon fires.

Quote from: Anpurvis on May 11, 2013, 09:45:18 PM

>"I don't think you have enough shinies to stop me!"
>Pause.
>"Do you? Can I have them?"

>"Uh, you've already got mosta the shinies on the ship right now." Blackwing points at the shell of glitter you are currently immersed in. "In fact, the only person left who's got anything particularly shiny is-"
"What in tarnation is going on here?!"
Officer Bootstrap stomps into the room, holding one of the guns salvaged from her ruined arsenal. She stares at you with utter, uncontrollable hatred.
"Captain, this walking, flying pile of fecal matter doesn't deserve the right to be fired out of a cannon! Do you have any idea how many times I've been fired at in the line of duty? This is the same, except in the other direction! I'm far more qualified than she is."
She pulls out a small notebook. "Furthermore, evidence places her at the untimely arrest of Golden Delicious, the destruction of the ship's engine, and the needless glue-ification of 95% of the red shirts on this vessel! Forget commendations, this lily-livered loser should be locked up and used for target practice!"

O4rfish · « **Reply #249 on:** May 12, 2013, 11:36:52 AM »

>"Hey, watch out! It's not my fault things seem to go wrong around me! I'm the first fairy who starts solving the problems for the ship! Listen: when I arrived at the kitchen, Golden Delicious attacked me! Before I got to the engine room, Bolt didn't have her glasses, and was damaging the ship! The other recruits I glued were preventing us from responding to the capstain's orders. These accusations are false and you know it! Look, I should be the first fairy fired out of that cannon, not you, because my name is Expendable Collateral!"

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #250 on:** May 13, 2013, 08:23:30 AM »

Quote from: O4rfish on May 12, 2013, 11:36:52 AM

>"Hey, watch out! It's not my fault things seem to go wrong around me! I'm the first fairy who starts solving the problems for the ship! Listen: when I arrived at the kitchen, Golden Delicious attacked me! Before I got to the engine room, Bolt didn't have her glasses, and was damaging the ship! The other recruits I glued were preventing us from responding to the capstain's orders. These accusations are false and you know it! Look, I should be the first fairy fired out of that cannon, not you, because my name is Expendable Collateral!"

>"What is your major malfunction?!" Bootstrap points the gun right at you. "Let's see you do your best Bootstrap impression-"
"Now, now, lassies." Blackwing stands between you before you start fighting. "If ya both want ta be fired outta the cannon so much, let's make a contest outta it. If Axe Panda Bull wins, she gets ta win glory and fortune by saving us all from that nasty, nasty rock. If Bootstrap wins, she gets fired out and Axe Panda gets arrested fer all those things she's apparently done."
She looks to you. "Now, since ya got here first, you can decide the contest. Make it somethin' fast, though - we don't have that long afore the rock shows up."

Yaersulf · « **Reply #251 on:** May 13, 2013, 12:22:45 PM »

>"Ummm, a make a cute face contest."

O4rfish · « **Reply #252 on:** May 13, 2013, 09:07:32 PM »

Ohhhhh nice. With our Moe level, that should be easy.
Of course, it seems something bad will happen to us either way.

Yaersulf · « **Reply #253 on:** May 13, 2013, 09:16:33 PM »

No way, we've wanted to be shot out of a cannon this whole time, it's a dream come true.

Hello Purvis · « **Reply #254 on:** May 14, 2013, 01:14:32 AM »

I propose a Sparkle-off instead. I don't trust Bootstrap's commitment to Sparkle Motion.

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #255 on:** May 14, 2013, 08:07:27 AM »

Quote from: Yaersulf on May 13, 2013, 12:22:45 PM

>"Ummm, a make a cute face contest."

>"What the-" Bootstrap fumes. "That's cheating, and you know it! You know my mother died in a freak face-pulling accident-"
"Sorry, Officer," Blackwing says. "Axe Panda named the game, and now you've gotta play it."
The officer growls again, then begins to tense and growl. You've never seen a fairy look so focused and powerful before...but she can't manage anything lighter than a snarl.
"...Um, Officer, she said 'cute' face."

"This is my cute face. >:|"

Blackwing stares for a bit, then turns to you. "Yer move, Axe. Make it quick."

Yaersulf · « **Reply #256 on:** May 14, 2013, 09:53:34 AM »

>Melt into a moeblob.

Hello Purvis · « **Reply #257 on:** May 14, 2013, 11:01:33 AM »

>Show our commitment to sparkle motion.

Fightest · « **Reply #258 on:** May 14, 2013, 11:51:14 AM »

> Do that party trick we do where our pupils turn into little heart-shapes.

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #259 on:** May 14, 2013, 08:30:41 PM »

Quote from: Yaersulf on May 14, 2013, 09:53:34 AM

>Melt into a moeblob.

Quote from: Anpurvis on May 14, 2013, 11:01:33 AM

>Show our commitment to sparkle motion.

Quote from: Fightest on May 14, 2013, 11:51:14 AM

> Do that party trick we do where our pupils turn into little heart-shapes.

>D'awwwwwww, what a cute little fairy! Who's a cute little fairy? You are!

Blackwing seems to blush as she watches you. She goes red, then grabs at her face.
"Arrr...dangit, me nutbladder's gone again..."
She drops to her knees, sparkly red blood dripping from her nose. "Someone fetch me the grog! She's too good at this!"
You're relatively sure that qualifies as a victory. Ember offers you a thumbs up, while Bootstrap looks ready to explode.
"...Can't believe I'm sayin' this, but I'm not standing for that order. Captain..." She salutes once before turning on her heels. "Consider this a mutiny!"
She runs off in the direction of the cannon, intent on leaving you behind!

Kilgamayan · « **Reply #260 on:** May 14, 2013, 08:54:41 PM »

> Give chase!
> "Wait! What if we both got shot at the same time?"

Hello Purvis · « **Reply #261 on:** May 15, 2013, 02:32:23 PM »

>"I'm gonna knock all the shiny out of you!"

Fightest · « **Reply #262 on:** May 15, 2013, 02:40:54 PM »

> Do unto her what we do unto mutineers. Introduce her to Mr. Goopy.

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #263 on:** May 15, 2013, 04:04:35 PM »

Quote from: Kiglamayandango on May 14, 2013, 08:54:41 PM

> Give chase!
> "Wait! What if we both got shot at the same time?"

>"Aarr...we've never tried that before. Might not be room in the cannon, but-" Blackwing is disabled by her nosebleed before she can continue. "Just go, already!"

>You begin to hunt down Bootstrap. It's fortunate, in a way, because you wouldn't have been able to find your way to the cannon without her leading you.

Quote from: Anpurvis on May 15, 2013, 02:32:23 PM

>"I'm gonna knock all the shiny out of you!"

>"I'd like to see you try, private!"

Quote from: Fightest on May 15, 2013, 02:40:54 PM

> Do unto her what we do unto mutineers. Introduce her to Mr. Goopy.

>You're not used to shooting a moving target. You fire a couple of shots off as you give chase, but Bootstrap evades! So much for activating her inbuilt get-shot senses.

You arrive at the cannon, a dozen paces behind Bootstrap. She quickly grabs a fish bowl from the rack and plants it on her head - obviously, so she'll be able to breathe in space. She then starts hauling herself into the one cannon that hasn't fallen to pieces.
"Just you watch, private!" She yells. "I'm gonna be famous, y'hear?! They might even name a type of shiny after me!"
She's still well within reach, but she won't be for long-!

Yaersulf · « **Reply #264 on:** May 15, 2013, 09:20:38 PM »

>Jump onto her and cling tightly! No time for a fishbowl, we'll just have to do without!

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #265 on:** May 16, 2013, 08:53:01 PM »

Quote from: Yaersulf on May 15, 2013, 09:20:38 PM

>Jump onto her and cling tightly! No time for a fishbowl, we'll just have to do without!

>You jump up and grab her just as she's on the lip of the cannon!
"H-Hey, what're you doing? Let go of me, private! That's an order!" She waves about to try and shake you off, still barely pulling herself upwards!

Yaersulf · « **Reply #266 on:** May 17, 2013, 01:11:10 AM »

>Try to climb up her and get in the cannon first!

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #267 on:** May 17, 2013, 07:22:44 AM »

Quote from: Yaersulf on May 17, 2013, 01:11:10 AM

>Try to climb up her and get in the cannon first!

>You try, but she's shaking around too much! You can't get a good grip on her back!

>"Final preparations complete," Ada drones in the distance. "Firing in T-minus 30 seconds..."

Fightest · « **Reply #268 on:** May 17, 2013, 09:23:14 AM »

> Grab on tight.
> Yell "just fire it now!"

FinnKaenbyou · « **Reply #269 on:** May 18, 2013, 09:54:39 AM »

Quote from: Fightest on May 17, 2013, 09:23:14 AM

> Grab on tight.
> Yell "just fire it now!"

>You tighten your grip as Bootstrap pulls herself into the cannon, dragging you in with her! "Hey, what are you-"
"Override activated," Ada says. "Commence firing!"

KABOOOOOOM

>Sadly, your efforts to fire the cannon rather than the fairy prove to be futile. You suspect this is Bootstrap's fault as you hurtle out of the ship and into the vast emptiness of space. Surprisingly, you can breathe just fine - maybe the coat of glitter covering you is working as a shield.
In any case, you're flying faster than you've ever flown before. Bootstrap is still trying to pull you off, using a lot of naughty words as she tries to kick at you. You can see the asteroid approaching fast - from where you're standing, it looks like it's just made of solid rock.
You've got a few seconds before impact. The collision probably won't kill you, but it will really really really hurt, and you'd rather not go through that if you don't have to...