Koakuma's Writer's Parlour ~ Have some tea and discuss fiction and writing here!

[Forte Blackadder]

I must add, a good comment may even change the storyline when it's stuck.
So people, please comment more often

Also right back at myself XD

[Esifex]

These past few posts are essentially saying everything we all discussed in this wonderful thread here.

The influx of new users who've been commenting on the stories can only be a good thing; I don't remember all their names offhand, but they're new blood, and that's something PSL could desperately use.

[Alfred F. Jones]

This is just an unrelated observation on my part, don't mind me.

Reading about all the strikes going on in Europe, I stumbled across a reference to Bertolt Brecht. I couldn't place the name, until I remembered that Brecht was the guy my friend JJ, one of my best friends in high school, used to tell me about all the time. She was an IB student, and a theatre geek, so she wrote her Extended Essay on Brecht, and would often tell me about how interesting his Verfremdungseffekt technique was. And being in the writing mindset I am right now, I wish to seek some way to do this kind of thing in my fics-- maybe a short story. That would be really neat.

[FinnKaenbyou]

ATTENTION: TO ALL CURRENTLY EMPLOYED LIBRARIANS.

YOU MAY NOTICE A SLIGHT CHANGE IN YOUR UNIFORM. THIS IS DUE TO THE POWERS ABOVE MAKING A HORRIBLE MISTAKE ALLOWING ONE AMONG YOU TO DETERMINE THE NEW LIBRARIAN DRESS CODE. ALL OTHER DUTIES ARE AS NORMAL. CONTINUE.

[Dead Princess Sakana]

[Doll.S CUBE]

So while I was browsing Spacebattle.com I found this fic:

http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=170551

It's really interesting and could be good if done right, what do you guys think?

Also, is this topic appropriate for this thread? cause this is for fanfics and all.....


<Sakana> Moved this to Koakuma's for general discussion

[Alfred F. Jones]

So while I was browsing Spacebattle.com I found this fic:

http://forums.spacebattles.com/showthread.php?t=170551

It's really interesting and could be good if done right, what do you guys think?

_{Whoa, shanejayell posts there? He's one of my favourite yuri authors!}

A crossover, you mean? Sure, I guess it could be done well. Granted, I haven't read a good crossover in ages (and if I have, it has slipped my mind), but I guess it could happen.

[Iced Fairy]

Some things blend easier then others.  Negima's cast herd goes well with Touhou.  But then you have to be able to write for a cast herd.  Not an easy thing.  The Yue/Patchouli bit add a bit of fun of course.

Of course it's also a substitution crossover fic, which is always a little dangerous because eventually one of the series is going to have to bend to work for the other.  Eventually either your characters are going to act OoC, or your plot's going to change.  Actual universe mixing avoids that, but then you end up with powerlevels and a bigger cast herd.  There end up being a lot more points of failure.

Not that it can't be fun.  I've seen a couple of good starts.  They've all just died halfway through so I can't recommend them.

[Netwarrior]

Changing the subject...

Along this week, since last week's Saturday, I got mimself into an Inspirational Spree. Suddenly, I've got an almost unlimited amount of inspiration and artistic sensibility. Because of this, I've devoted mimself in writing my Fics and drawing. My thoughts travelled through my mind at lightspeed, and every idea that I came up with flowed nicely.

However, today all this inspiration simply disappeared in mid-air! I was writing the Baby Boom when, suddenly, I couldn't come out with any idea to keep on writing it! I have ran out of inspiration so hard that I can't even draw  or write a single line! Seriously, this is getting me awfully frustrated.

Is it they call "Writer's Block"? How can I manage to get inspirated again?

[Tengukami]

I cure writer's block by writing. It doesn't matter what, it doesn't matter if it's garbage. The act of writing creates ideas for me.

Barring that, going for a long walk and talking to myself about story ideas.

[KimashiZ812]

I would like some feedback on this.
Well a while back, I was listening to some music, it happen to be an extra medley of some extra bosses themes. I don't know where this idea came from, but bear with me even though it's sort of strange.

A long time in the future, about 579 years. A lot of things have changed. But notably, way down in the Hell of Blazing Fires, Utsuho begins to question about the voice she had heard during the events of Subterranean Animism. Maybe she was supposed to rule a different world, maybe the outside world. She decides to pursue taking over the outside world. She easily convinces Koishi and tries to convince others.

And they would all have to go through a lot over government systems to do it, so it would get sort of complex, like "Death Note" for those of you who've heard of it.

It's been bugging me to get the idea out though, even if I don't do it the idea is there for someone else so feedback.

<Nobu> Moved this to general discussion thread. Kimashi FYI, we like to keep fanfiction discussion in the like to this thread, and save new topics for the fiction itself.

[Netwarrior]

Whoa, that's an indigenous idea!

I like ideas that are daring to do something new and unexpected.

[Mr. Sacchi]

Alright so, I have the prologue and chapter 1 of my story ready, the problem is. I'm wondering about some things.

So the prologue has absolutely nothing to do with gensokyo, or even touhou(Though the rest of the story takes place in Gensokyo), is that a good way to start off?

Second, I was thinking of dividing my story in not only chapters, but days as well,since the days are important in the first part of the story.What do you guys think?

And thirdly, I need help on something, I've got 2 >>>GUYS<<< trapped in the Hakurei Border, trying to reach Gensokyo, they are basically walking inside the boundary trying to find an opening, these two have a major impact of the story, and it would be boring to only say that they are walking around. I need help, any suggestions on how to make this part of the story interesting?

Thanks in advance.

[Esifex]

Alright so, I have the prologue and chapter 1 of my story ready, the problem is. I'm wondering about some things.

Gotta start somewhere.

So the prologue has absolutely nothing to do with gensokyo, or even touhou(Though the rest of the story takes place in Gensokyo), is that a good way to start off?

Like I said, gotta start somewhere. Is it related to the story, though? If not, then you can probably do without it. I'm hoping it does, though, if you're using it as the prologue.

Second, I was thinking of dividing my story in not only chapters, but days as well,since the days are important in the first part of the story.What do you guys think?

This is very doable. 'Days' can just be your word for 'chapters'. Unless each chapter deals with a minor arc, unique from each other, I don't think it's really all that necessary for you to divide the chapters into days, unless you just really feel like it. Whichever way you pick, though, make sure you stick with it; if a day has chapters or a chapter has days. Don't try to change chapters in the middle of a day unless the plot calls for it (i.e. major developments)

And thirdly, I need help on something, I've got 2 >>>GUYS<<< trapped in the Hakurei Border, trying to reach Gensokyo, they are basically walking inside the boundary trying to find an opening, these two have a major impact of the story, and it would be boring to only say that they are walking around. I need help, any suggestions on how to make this part of the story interesting?

You say that like having guys in Touhou is a new thing. No one assumes that Gensokyo is entirely populated by just women and loli-youkai.
Anyways, I like the concept here - that the barrier isn't just a paper-thin field of spiritual energy that separates the mundane world from Gensokyo. If you want to, perhaps you can give some insight on how out-of-touch with standard reality the barrier-space is, some thoughts from your guys about how confused they are with just looking at their surroundings. Finding a way to invoke a sense of desolation and lost/hopelessness would be a good thing for this, if they're essentially stuck between the worlds. Where's their guarantee that they're going to make it through to Gensokyo, or failing that, back to the real world? Oooh, scary scary.

[MysTeariousYukari]

Ok, I'm having a slow bit in my story(but not a block), and this is a bit I felt I should ask about. My character, Shinku, has incredible potential, and her power can become anything with the proper teacher, I am now trying to pick which of the roughly 100 Notable's to use for this. The problem should now be rather obvious :V Anyone have any suggestions or ideas for this?

[Esifex]

Ok, I'm having a slow bit in my story(but not a block), and this is a bit I felt I should ask about. My character, Shinku, has incredible potential, and her power can become anything with the proper teacher, I am now trying to pick which of the roughly 100 Notable's to use for this. The problem should now be rather obvious :V Anyone have any suggestions or ideas for this?

Pick something simple and easy, and apply it in unorthodox and outlandish fashions.

To use an example I'm familiar with - in Everlasting Wanderers, Sara uses the psychic feedback she deals with constantly due to being a telepath as a way to force Acied's mind to basically do a cold-restart, to daze and disorient him. Because she was near Patchouli Knowledge, a fount of intellect and magic power with a very overpowering psychic imprint, she essentially took her ability to link up with another persons mind and used it semi-offensively by dumping what she was acclimated to into someone else's mind - someone who wasn't used to that kind of white noise.

Later, she dives into Acied's mind again (in a temper tantrum) and turns off his sight receptors for a second, causing his eyes to black out, temporarily blinding him.

To take this line and run with it, let's say you use the ability to manipulate sound. Simple enough - you can talk without opening your mouth, or you can make your voice carry really far, or you can warp peoples words on their way from their mouths to their audience's ears, or you can amplify it to the point of destructiveness, or you can mute someone.
Hang on, wait - destructive sound? Sure, we've all heard a five-year-old let out the most ear-piercing scream, but little do most people know, sound waves can be focused to the point of causing concrete to disintegrate. Imagine being able to make someone's head pop just by laughing maniacally a keylock dissolve into dust by whistling at it.

[Mr. Sacchi]

Like I said, gotta start somewhere. Is it related to the story, though? If not, then you can probably do without it. I'm hoping it does, though, if you're using it as the prologue.

Well, yeah, the story is more centered in my character's (one in particular) than in actual touhou, while touhou takes a special part in his story, I still need to hint at the facts that happened before this,(NOTE: The "touhou part" in this character's story, is, very late, to say the least, kinda like end-game-ish) so, I was thinking that hinting that to build up hype and make the readers get curious would work, though I'm not so sure...

This is very doable. 'Days' can just be your word for 'chapters'. Unless each chapter deals with a minor arc, unique from each other, I don't think it's really all that necessary for you to divide the chapters into days, unless you just really feel like it. Whichever way you pick, though, make sure you stick with it; if a day has chapters or a chapter has days. Don't try to change chapters in the middle of a day unless the plot calls for it (i.e. major developments)

Well, I was thinking of something like, every day has one/multiple chapters, though not every chapter is a day. (Like, day 1 is chapter 1, while day 2 is chapters 2 and 3), I had this idea because, like I said, Days have a major part in the first part of the plot.

You say that like having guys in Touhou is a new thing. No one assumes that Gensokyo is entirely populated by just women and loli-youkai.
Anyways, I like the concept here - that the barrier isn't just a paper-thin field of spiritual energy that separates the mundane world from Gensokyo. If you want to, perhaps you can give some insight on how out-of-touch with standard reality the barrier-space is, some thoughts from your guys about how confused they are with just looking at their surroundings. Finding a way to invoke a sense of desolation and lost/hopelessness would be a good thing for this, if they're essentially stuck between the worlds. Where's their guarantee that they're going to make it through to Gensokyo, or failing that, back to the real world? Oooh, scary scary.

Well, I said it like that because only girls appear in the actual games, so I thought that maybe some people would have negative feedback regarding that, yeah, I thought that the whole "inside the border" was quite unique too, oh god, the things that my mind can work out when I'm bored to death  :3

The whole "out of touch" thing I can really make it out, and I will also hint (and later on say it out) about one of these "out of reality" things is, , and the whole sense of "desolation" and "hopelessness" is going to be... Kinda hard, because I feel that these two guys and kinda Gary Stue-ish (Though some of my friends don't agree with me.) however the whole thought about "are we really going to make it?" can be rather easy to do, depends on how my mind works at the time.

Sadly, I'm going to have to work my brain out crating a "rule" to making this work, though I've already thought about a story that can easily make around 6 games, with a gigantic number of spin-offs, nothing I can't do  :3

[Esifex]

Confidence in your abilities; very good.

If you'll allow me to toot my own horn (toot toot), lemme recommend to you my own 'OC' story.
Behold, Everlasting Wanderers.

Peruse it to take some more direct clues and hintings from me - the best way I can explain is by simply showing you an example.
Also it gets more people to read my story :3

[Fenrir the Dusk]

Sorry if this counts as Necromancy, and sorry if this isn't the place to ask., but, I've had an idea for a fan fiction thing in my head for a while now, and I was wondering if there's any one willing to help me shape this idea some, kind of need some one to bounce ideas off of and whatnot.  Any help is fine, though I'd sort of like some one experienced with working with Original Characters. Thanks in advance.

[KimashiZ812]

Hmmmm I could help. Although I've never actually made a complete fanfic, I've been a Touhou fan for a good maybe  five years so I know the characters very well.

[Esifex]

Any help is fine, though I'd sort of like some one experienced with working with Original Characters. Thanks in advance.

Confidence in your abilities; very good.

If you'll allow me to toot my own horn (toot toot), lemme recommend to you my own 'OC' story.
Behold, Everlasting Wanderers.

Peruse it to take some more direct clues and hintings from me - the best way I can explain is by simply showing you an example.
Also it gets more people to read my story :3

Lemme know if you have any questions.

[Ryuu]

note to self: before trying to describe an alcoholic drink, sample said drink first

addendum: ask brother to bring home sake

[Tengukami]

Good sake is dry and smooth. When served warm, it send this lovely warm wine-ish vapor up into your nose.

[Esifex]

Good sake is dry and smooth. When served warm, it send this lovely warm wine-ish vapor up into your nose.

Good sake is dry and smooth.

Good sake

Dammit

[Sriggle]

Is there any way to write a main character, female OC for the whole "Dumped into Gensokyo" genre, without making her a Mary-Sue? While still making her have a traumatizing past?

I've been toying with the idea for a while. The main idea is to create a character with real flaws, like "Cannot form freindly relationships with people due to previous trauma" or "Stepford smile type A&B", and dump them from traumatizing enviroment into Gensokyo, where character development takes place.

Generally, I don't even like OCs, but Touhou is special.

[Chaore]

Is there any way to write a main character, female OC for the whole "Dumped into Gensokyo" genre, without making her a Mary-Sue? While still making her have a traumatizing past?

Yes. Don't be a terrible writer.

It's not hard not to write a mary-sue. People just don't realize it, because of how perverted the concept of OCs have been by self-inserts and the like.

[Serp]

You can be the best writer in the world, but if reality itself bends around to put your OC at the forefront of everything and everyone's minds, then she'll still be a Mary Sue.  Just make sure to remember that the natives of Gensokyo shouldn't care too much about your OC without having good reason to do so, and you're already ahead of the game.  Writing an angst-filled character is fine as long as the other characters react to that angst reasonably.

[FinnKaenbyou]

As a writer who's played with Touhou OCs before - one of whom I'm about to bring back out of the closet - I can offer some advice here.

- As has been mentioned, do not make what I'll call a Solar Sue - a character who everything revolves solely around. While creating a new character and having a story involving their daily routine or a particular event that involves them is fine, making this so important that other characters simply serve to give your character a reason to talk isn't. There's a difference between being the main character and being the only character.
- Do not make your character flawless. This is not to say that your character should be angsty, because contrary to popular belief angst is very good at annoying some readers. They don't read to be nagged to, they read to be entertained.
The character should have a difficulty of some sort, which is preferrably not the sole reason the plot is taking place (or else you risk stepping into the aforemented Solar Sue). This difficulty gives the character a chance to fail - which is important, because unless there's a possibility of failure people won't be curious as to whether the character will succeed - and also allows them to grow as the story goes on, producing character development.
- On the other end of the scale, don't make your character pathetic in every single manner. While humbling, this also makes your character thoroughly dull if they fail at everything they try and whine about something every five seconds.
- In terms of writing Touhou, the concept of a human OC is extremely difficult to pull off because unless you create a Solar Sue as mentioned above, the girls of Gensokyo generally won't have much reason to have an interest in your character. The typical solution people find for this problem is to make their human character special somehow, which leads to the overpowered Mary Sue situation everyone knows about more often than not. Unless you, say, surround her with other human OCs who are on a similar wavelength, she's unlikely to have anyone who has much interest in her.

So in short, writing a human OC into the Touhou universe is pretty difficult, because you risk either not giving her enough traits to be interesting or overstepping it and making her too powerful to be believable. It's a fine line, and one I haven't had the nerve of walking properly myself. My only endeavour so far has been a youkai who in terms of usefullness is about as helpful as Aquaman, so.

Best of luck, and I'm sorry I don't have any more helpful advice.

[Sriggle]

You can be the best writer in the world, but if reality itself bends around to put your OC at the forefront of everything and everyone's minds, then she'll still be a Mary Sue.  Just make sure to remember that the natives of Gensokyo shouldn't care too much about your OC without having good reason to do so, and you're already ahead of the game.  Writing an angst-filled character is fine as long as the other characters react to that angst reasonably.

That's a very good point. Frankly, that's one of the things I'm trying to avoid- The dreaded Black Hole Sue.

As a writer who's played with Touhou OCs before - one of whom I'm about to bring back out of the closet - I can offer some advice here.

- As has been mentioned, do not make what I'll call a Solar Sue - a character who everything revolves solely around. While creating a new character and having a story involving their daily routine or a particular event that involves them is fine, making this so important that other characters simply serve to give your character a reason to talk isn't. There's a difference between being the main character and being the only character.
- Do not make your character flawless. This is not to say that your character should be angsty, because contrary to popular belief angst is very good at annoying some readers. They don't read to be nagged to, they read to be entertained.
The character should have a difficulty of some sort, which is preferrably not the sole reason the plot is taking place (or else you risk stepping into the aforemented Solar Sue). This difficulty gives the character a chance to fail - which is important, because unless there's a possibility of failure people won't be curious as to whether the character will succeed - and also allows them to grow as the story goes on, producing character development.
- On the other end of the scale, don't make your character pathetic in every single manner. While humbling, this also makes your character thoroughly dull if they fail at everything they try and whine about something every five seconds.
- In terms of writing Touhou, the concept of a human OC is extremely difficult to pull off because unless you create a Solar Sue as mentioned above, the girls of Gensokyo generally won't have much reason to have an interest in your character. The typical solution people find for this problem is to make their human character special somehow, which leads to the overpowered Mary Sue situation everyone knows about more often than not. Unless you, say, surround her with other human OCs who are on a similar wavelength, she's unlikely to have anyone who has much interest in her.

So in short, writing a human OC into the Touhou universe is pretty difficult, because you risk either not giving her enough traits to be interesting or overstepping it and making her too powerful to be believable. It's a fine line, and one I haven't had the nerve of walking properly myself. My only endeavour so far has been a youkai who in terms of usefullness is about as helpful as Aquaman, so.

Best of luck, and I'm sorry I don't have any more helpful advice.

Hmm, I'm not very interested in making a character that angsts all the time, because how many people do that in real life? It's more a case where her abuse shows in her behaviour and attitude towards others, instead of going "exposition angst" all the time. It's not so much angst as it is trauma after prior abuse, and it's all supposed to be very implied, and nothing about her past is revealed until further on.

Oh, and most youkai want to eat her rather than talk. I'm not planning to give her any extreme traits, just make her a broken little kid with issues and try to have her sort them in a realistic(or as realistic as you can get in Gensokyo) way.

Good points, though. I'll remember them, and try anyhow.

[Esifex]

Is there any way to write a main character, female OC for the whole "Dumped into Gensokyo" genre, without making her a Mary-Sue? While still making her have a traumatizing past?

I've been toying with the idea for a while. The main idea is to create a character with real flaws, like "Cannot form freindly relationships with people due to previous trauma" or "Stepford smile type A&B", and dump them from traumatizing enviroment into Gensokyo, where character development takes place.

Generally, I don't even like OCs, but Touhou is special.

While we're grading and debating this sort of thing, could I get a little feedback on my self-insert OC MotK origin story? I'm not just trying to say 'this is how Esifex came to be in MotK, nurhur', I'm also shooting for a worthwhile and well-written story. I'm trying to avoid being the Black Hole, but considering the sort of things that're going on in the story, do you all think the direction its going is good? Not like, plot-wise, but actually literary quality-wise? I have still been working on it and adding to it, despite the lack of a recent update, but I'm also getting a bit nervous about it and am craving feedback. It's like a drug to me :v