Author Topic: Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First  (Read 478634 times)

Dead Princess Sakana

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  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #750 on: May 09, 2011, 08:00:16 PM »
Wow, I honestly have to say I missed practically all the hints in your story, Suikama. I'm impressed at all the stuff that was hidden in there  :o

Edit: Also Himiko, would you mind telling if my theory about your story was correct?
Spoiler:
That the "cheese, crackers and wine" were metaphors for flesh, bones and blood and the girl that is with Rumia is probably gonna get eaten soon after the story ends?
  :3
« Last Edit: May 09, 2011, 08:03:23 PM by Moe Moe Hakase »

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #751 on: May 09, 2011, 11:06:21 PM »
Wow, I honestly have to say I missed practically all the hints in your story, Suikama. I'm impressed at all the stuff that was hidden in there  :o

The apparent problem with mindscrews is that its possible to be too subtle.

Post-Apocalyptic..... hn.......

1.) Set in a crowded, overworked Higan (Malthusian Catastrophe, implied mass death). The bureaucracy of the afterlife cannot keep up with the influx of the dead, so a  new society of "transients" is established.

2.) Gensokyo post-mass purification. Only children left alive to rebuild. (rewrite history of Gensokyo so that heroines are part of this generation?)

3.) 2012 scenario: After 2012 passes with no incident in the real world, the 2012 hypothesis moves to Gensokyo. The aftermath involves water. Lots and lots of water

日巫子

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #752 on: May 09, 2011, 11:20:53 PM »
Wow, I honestly have to say I missed practically all the hints in your story, Suikama. I'm impressed at all the stuff that was hidden in there  :o

Edit: Also Himiko, would you mind telling if my theory about your story was correct?
Spoiler:
That the "cheese, crackers and wine" were metaphors for flesh, bones and blood and the girl that is with Rumia is probably gonna get eaten soon after the story ends?
  :3

Spoiler:
Actually, I wasn't thinking of that at all when I wrote it, but that was really insightful so I'm probably just going to roll with that.  No, the girl is not going to get eaten.

☆ Check my profile for links to my sites! ☆
[21:12] <OneLoveOnePurvis> *Black as hell and bitter as love. That is coffee.*
[17:42] <Amra> Himiko's one of the people that's really cute but sometimes art shifts into like hard jojo-style
[17:42] <Amra> as she does something out of character

GuyYouMetOnline

  • Surprisingy not smart for lynch dodging
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #753 on: May 09, 2011, 11:50:13 PM »
You know, some of us didn't get any feedback.

Well, you should have.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #754 on: May 09, 2011, 11:51:51 PM »
Spoiler:
Actually, I wasn't thinking of that at all when I wrote it, but that was really insightful so I'm probably just going to roll with that.  No, the girl is not going to get eaten.
Good answer, Himiko. Though, a better answer would have been
Spoiler:
"... Yes, that's correct and completely what I had in mind. :|"
:V

Also, Ruro, when're the stories due?

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #755 on: May 10, 2011, 12:19:20 AM »
I notice multiple calls for feedback, and as my teeth sink into my lip, I recall the reason I stopped by such a place. To writers, even a brief story is a fraction of their soul, proof of our magic, ahahaha- so to receive no acknowledgment at all is like being denied bread and water. Therefore! I shall provide the feedback y'all crave! Worry not - I'm not nearly as crazy as I seem, f'real.

SquidTentacle: When I first read your story, I didn't really see the twist coming. I'd assumed that
Spoiler:
the dream would be Remilia's, perhaps, or Sakuya's - the fear of having someone so powerful among them.
Who you actually chose to have the dream be from was an excellent twist and made the ending amazingly sweet in my mind - your characterization was very good, working well at establishing Remilia's thoughts as Flan tries to explain what's been going on. I liked your use of sense cues - smell, most notably - to work with the reader in setting mode and phobia. Also, your aside at the end was interesting and it would have been cool to work it in to the other pieces here, for some continuity bonuses - perhaps some other time?

日巫子: Despite the potential for
Spoiler:
"People, who eat people, are the happpppiest people~"
certain interpretations, I found this story comforting. Perhaps it's just the fact I'm feeling optimistic today, or perhaps my view of morality is terribly skewed somehow. Regardless, in a relatively short piece you managed to quickly harrow together desperation and the feeling of hunger - hunger is hard to write, because most of us will have eaten something recently - but the fear, the need for food, combined with a lingering sense of doubt make even the most pleasant of dream fray around the edges. Also - Rumia sounds like the best roommate ever, eheheh!

Sankako Logs: YES. This is the sort of dream I have in between actual sleep and dreams and waking. So maybe it's not a dream, but sort of a half-truth..? Nah. Anyway, I laughed loads, loved your characterization of Yukari as a hyper-competent
Spoiler:
T-REX PAWNCH-ER
and the (to me) absolutely d'awww worthy ending. Almost every other line had something funny in it, and the idea of the Watatsuki sister's as a
Spoiler:
two-mouthed woman was quite interesting. I remember hearing one theory about how someone in Touhou was actually Kuchisuke-Onna
. Myth is interesting, t'is it not?

Iced Fairy: You're an incredibly observant writer - not only do you layer multiple references to several things at once - my mind raced at the very first when you mention the dream of Zhuang Zhou and Su-San as an actual, if not metaphysical, person. I knew from there your story of vignettes was going to be amazing, and feel like shit for not noticing that you had an entry up. Each vignette was soul-breakingly personal and felt so real that I could see it being canon; no. To say that renders unto the realm of fiction. Can I instead say that it went past that and seemed like a dream, pleasantly perplex, showing realities of other people and other time? Absolutely loved this one, I'm very interested to see more of your work.

LogosOfJ: The opening read like lyrical poetry, and I enjoyed reading it as it stretched my mind - your use of words, symbolism and solliquily or however that terrible word is spelled is excellent indeed. What threw me, though, where the endings. Usually I loathe multiple endings; I view it as a sign that the creator could not care enough to craft a singular ending for their work. Isn't that funny, given how chaotic I claim to be? Such a hypocrite~ Anyway, that wasn't the case with your endings. Each one had a different feeling. Sweet, like exotic tea or perhaps an especially fragrant flower, or full of laughter like a Marx Brother's film - and perhaps insight. So, *gap* is what keeps us writers awake in the witching hour between wake and sleep!... I always suspected that Yukari to meddle in the human realm, eheheheh! Ah, and as for the third ending - alternate history and I are old friends. Vansui, Mei Ling. Should your reign return again, t'would be interesting indeed. Ah, wasn't there a story once about her guiding someone around the Middle Kingdom...? Or am I imagining things?

Rou You Can:
Spoiler:
Quote
?Everything that has a beginning has an end - and this is gonna be yours!?
I'd say that's all I really need to say about how awesome this fic is, but that's hardly good or interesting feedback. So to elaborate - this was an awesomely fun character study. It was interesting to see that this would be something
Spoiler:
Marisa
dreams about, and it's obvious from her dream that she holds her opponent in high regard even as she craves her defeat. The combat scenes were lusciously well written, the dialogue was quick and snappy like a punch to the face, and the ending was encouraging.  Anyone who can take inspiration from dream has learned something wonderful indeed. Highly enjoyable!

Esifex: Heeeey, I couldn't figure out who the characters were- Just kidding, naturally. ;) I really enjoyed this. Not just because I'm a huge believer in the power of love, but because it, I think, I resembled a half-remembered dream most of all the stories here. At times sweet, at times challenging, at times indecipherable until the end, when the conclusion hits the dreamer finds themselves aware of much more than when the dream began. And it was a sweet dream indeed - one that truly fit the quota of the contest. Of course, though it was pleasant, it didn't detract from the reality that waits to be faced every moment upon waking - but are not the sweetest dream those that give us the courage to press on? Also, you use italics and imagery exceedingly well - I don't know what the right word is, but evocative, perhaps?

GuyYouMetOnline: Before I review this fic - I hated Inception. I know, I know - but to me it didn't feel like a dream movie, it felt like a boring heist/action movie, that had little character interaction and failed the Bechdel test, pretentious as that one is. Yume Nikki/2kki with their randomness and spontaneity feel far more like dreams to me, and other movies - Paprika, by Satoshi Kon, Solyaris by Tarkovsky (Perhaps even more so Andrei Rublev), A Certain Shakespeare Play - all felt more subliminally sublime. With that out of the way - I loved this fic. Is it just because there was added Touhou? Nope! It was because the dialogue was very fluid and near-continuous; the stream-of-consciousness style of speaking is a good strength of yours, Guy, and you use it well. The only thing I'd mention against is using more than one -, simply because it formats a bit weird when posting to online (I'm assuming you wrote this somewhere else and posted it here?); and that's a technical issue, not a writing one.

capt h.: Was it a dream that we were alive to witness, or a witness who fled their dreams? Your fic begs the question about what separates the line between
Spoiler:
That shady Yagokoro character's drugs
and reality, and although I laughed at first, the ending... Actually kind of got my blood pumping. Violence is something I guess I enjoy; at least in written form, perhaps. More importantly, the ramifications of just what
Spoiler:
Koishi
had been hired to do and how it effected
Spoiler:
Mokou
was a lovely twist in atmosphere and end. This is a great example of how to write something concise that still toys with the mind. Psyche sign; Unavoidable Unwritten Truth.

nintendonut888: You nicely deconstructed and reconstructed the theme of your story in a single go. That alone is worthy of winning this round, but the tale itself - which alternates between silliness and dead seriousness, seriousness that cuts like a knife - is incredibly thick with emotion.
Spoiler:
The way you analyze MuGen is like a broken infinity turned into a sweet dream only through a million broken fragments. Such a happy ending is rare to be earned, and rarer still to be kept - I felt like cheering when I reached the end of your tale.
You also added to the backstory of Makai itself, and that was an interesting sidenote to the story. In terms of writing, you are skilled with a wide variety of styles and ideas, which you blend well. You say this was not your forte; does that mean that this round, things shall be even more interesting..? I look forward to your writing. Ohohohoho!

Suikama: First of all, I love your title, and have already commented a bit. So, that out of the way, about what you just revealed -
Spoiler:
W-Wha? Reimu, a drunken momma? Magic, magic doesn't exist? Noooo! Uuuu-uuu, magic DOES exist! You're wrong!  :ohdear: :derp:  :3 But seriously that is AMAZING. My mind is so hard-wired to accept the supernatural and the improbable that it could never have occurred to me what was actually going on. That has nothing to do with your writing skills - which are excellent at capturing the change of emotions, from momentary happiness to doubt to fear to primal hunger - and more to do with the fact that you're talking to a grade-a delusionary.
Although this story did not have a happy end, it paved the way for others. Perhaps somewhere else, in a fragment with more hope... But I digress. Please write more? I really enjoy your writing style, even if I must seem thick as a brick to ya. Even if it's not this contest round, I really want to see what else lurks within your mind; your ideas are fractal and radiant, just the way I like 'em.

Conqueror: Nice use of broken chronology to catch the reader with that lingering sense... What is it, when you finish the story and realize something after the fact? Even though I'm someone who loathes boredom,
Spoiler:
The consequences of this story were enough to make me pause for just a minute and consider if perhaps I was being ungrateful... And then I cackled and cast that idea aside, but even still.
What a pleasant juxtaposition of belief in one's own immortality and the reality of a world that we hold so dear. Momento mori? You capture Tenshi really well, I feel - perhaps you'll write more through her field of vision? As a character I've had a hard time reading, your words really help me feel around her thoughts and views.

Affinity: Sweet poetry, broken only
             by the sound of eyelids closed;
             unquiet acceptance.
             
Spoiler:
You speak of the things I hold most dear. When, one day, the sweet embrace of the soil, cool and calming returns to me and allows me the peace of dreams, I hope to have lingering ones as well thought out as this, tragic as they may be; for in dreams we know ourselves, and knowing ourselves we know others. Another piece I feel foolish for not noticing. So above, so below. Your writing reminds me of Heian poetry of the kind I love so much; you say more in your paragraphs then I felt I said in the entirety of my story. Continue to write, for such words are balm to the soul.

andrewv2: Admonishing oneself for happiness, dreamed encounters lash wearily at his soul; the poet looks inward, and blames himself. But 'tis such rumination accurate, or another test till dreams began again?
Spoiler:
Yet another story I missed and feel most foolish for not seeing. No, more than that - it aches that I could not comment on this earlier. You use words like punctuation to illuminate your ideas and points, the cruelty of this reality and the beauty lurking between it's frayed edges. Perhaps we wait for such things, and perhaps we will one day awake to them, though your stories ending is open-ended, I felt. To write it off as sad would be too much. One thousand-fold worlds once waited for those who struggled beyond; though they decrease now in number, the moral remains.
Guh, that was incomprehensible even for me. We should share writings some time, however. You use incredible language and in incredible depth manage to pull out all the emotions and worries that compromise both dreaming and wake. I wanted to close on your piece - to wake up is to face it, and yet we still sleep, hoping for the inevitable.

Also, I like the cut of your gib, but I think you know that.  :3

Oh, wait, wait. Whus this?

Tired/Warm: WHATHEHELL, SO MANY ERRORS. OKAY KOMACHI SHOULD HAVE TURNED INTO A TANK AT THE END, THAT FIRES ZOMBIES MADE OF COINS SHIKIEIKI/SIEKIEIKI PUTS ON HER ZOBMIE HUNTING GLASSES AND IS LIKE - WE DOIN' THIS BRO, PILLS OVER HER, WITH THESE GLASSES I CAN CUT ANYTHING, MOE~. Lacks substance, filled with far too much mythological blah, and is too small for my tastes while being too rushed as well, and perhaps too long in some areas as well. Also, Titanic should have made an appearance. Komachi has the bestest boat ever. It's a nice boat, even. As always, so much to improve and so little of value. Work harder, maggot! Osu!

And so the writer whipped themself into a violent violet frenzy, stopping only when they found an idea for the post-apocalyptic power hour!... Which they hadn't yet.  :derp:
Gee, I hope this stuff works guys - I'd be glad to give a lil' more if you ask, or if my comments don't make sense - but writers deserve feedback. We live for it - I know I live for it. I write because I want people to read my works and be happy, and I imagine for others it is much the same way. So know that out of all of this work, I enjoyed all of yours immensely. T'was a pleasure to feedback all of it, though I now prepare to collapse on the floor and dream of older times and pretend the ceiling is the unclouded sky. G'night.



Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #756 on: May 10, 2011, 12:21:33 AM »
Thank you, Tired/Warm!

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #757 on: May 10, 2011, 12:37:46 AM »
Suikama: First of all, I love your title
Oh yeah, I totally forgot to mention in my previous post that the title
Spoiler:
represents the ending. Yumemi means Beautiful Dream, Chiyuri means Northern White River, and 'by the' is what happens to them at the end as their bodies lay beside each other :V

Yeah I'm horrible :3

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #758 on: May 10, 2011, 12:46:48 AM »
capt. h - No problem! It was my pleasure, I love reading as much as I love writing, and feedback, to be blunt - it kicks ass.  :D Just like a good story does!

Suikama - Oh, oh wow. I should've got that, and I didn't. Ooooooh wow.
Spoiler:
Horrible, or darkly hilarious/appropriate?... I guess we horrible people just become writers, ohoho. I always thought Chiyuri was Northern White Lily? Woops!
Anyway, that's like, a double-bonus. Out of question, did you have something specific that led you to your story, or was it just one of those 'ding' of inspiration moments where your mind smiled and was like 'Yeah... This can be awesome' and writing happened?

Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

nintendonut888

  • So those that live now, pledge on your fists and souls
  • Leave a sign of your life, no matter how small...
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #759 on: May 10, 2011, 12:56:26 AM »
Eeh, thanks Tired/Warm and everyone. I turned brown for winning, but all the congrats and praise make me turn red instead. ;^_^

Quote
You say this was not your forte; does that mean that this round, things shall be even more interesting..? I look forward to your writing. Ohohohoho!

Sorry, but when I say writing's not my forte, that means I only contributed last time because it was an opportunity to put an already conceived story on paper. Well, that and the judges were bullying me. :< What I mean to say is, I'd be very surprised if I competed again.
nintendonut888: Hey Baity. I beat the high score for Sanae B hard on the score.dat you sent me. X3
Baity: For a moment, I thought you broke 1.1billion. Upon looking at my score.dat, I can assume that you destroyed the score that is my failed (first!) 1cc attempt on my first day of playing. Congratulations.

[19:42] <Sapz> I think that's the only time I've ever seen a suicide bullet shoot its own suicide bullet

GuyYouMetOnline

  • Surprisingy not smart for lynch dodging
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #760 on: May 10, 2011, 01:15:08 AM »
Yeah, thanks from me, too. Part of the reason I'm doing these in the first place is because it's a good opportunity to have talented writers read and review my stuff, so yeah, thanks. And yes, I did type that up elsewhere (Microsoft Word, specifically) and post it here; I plan to do it differently for this one.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #761 on: May 10, 2011, 02:17:38 AM »
capt. h - No problem! It was my pleasure, I love reading as much as I love writing, and feedback, to be blunt - it kicks ass.  :D Just like a good story does!

Suikama - Oh, oh wow. I should've got that, and I didn't. Ooooooh wow.
Spoiler:
Horrible, or darkly hilarious/appropriate?... I guess we horrible people just become writers, ohoho. I always thought Chiyuri was Northern White Lily? Woops!
Anyway, that's like, a double-bonus. Out of question, did you have something specific that led you to your story, or was it just one of those 'ding' of inspiration moments where your mind smiled and was like 'Yeah... This can be awesome' and writing happened?
It could have been a triple bonus if I had remembered to include an actual river in the last scene :3

When it comes to writing I have a rather structured approach. First I started off with a single idea, which in this case was dreams. Then from there I brainstorm stuff until the full plot becomes clear to me. My thought process for this story went something like: dreams in gensokyo -> a story shown through a series of dreams and the reader must try to piece together the truth -> a young girl whose dreams of escaping reality for a fantasy world becomes confused with reality -> hmm yumemi's name means Beautiful Dream and her backstory seems like it could have some hidden implications, I mean being a professor at 18? Is that really the truth or just her delusion?

Then I thought of the scenes: First would be a conflict between
Spoiler:
her and her peers, then her and Reimu, then she get's lost, and finally a revelation scene. Then I thought about each scnee in more detail, like Yumemi charging in and taking over a class, the return home to Reimu who was actually thier mother, getting lost in the forest and being attacked by a youkai who strikes thier stomachs because it's actually thier hunger, and finally yumemi actually waking up beside chiyuri and realizing what happened.
Finally from there I just wrote. The fourth chapter was added in as I was writing and I thought of a reason behind thier actions.

I didn't really have any ideas saved up beforehand, but I did want a theme of misunderstandings (on the level of both the character and reader) since personally I think it makes the most satisfactory endings since either you resolve the misunderstandings leading to a good end, or they aren't resolved leading to a bad end. (kinda like real life ohohohohohohohohoho~ :V)


Oh yeah one last thing. I'm super mega ultra heavily influenced and inspired my music. I was pretty much listening to this the whole time while writing the last few chapters. Devising a plot just takes some thinking, but creating emotion requires a driving force, and I use music for that 8)
« Last Edit: May 10, 2011, 02:36:44 AM by Suikama »

Tired/Warm

  • Apostatical Verdant Eudaemonaic
  • This is my danmaku.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #762 on: May 10, 2011, 05:54:13 AM »
Nintendonut - You're very welcome! Er, I'm sorry to hear that you felt pressured into it, though even if we highly enjoyed your story. You should feel to share things as you please - and although I hope you'll enter again, (or at least keep posting more stories?) I don't want you to feel like we're saying 'eeeey, give us more fiction now, serf!'. That's the exact opposite of what I find pleasant. At the very least, please continue writing- you're very, very good at it. (And your name is donut! That's like, a sigil of promise and goodness and all that is right with the world! Don't give up!)

Guy - And you're very welcome, too!  :) I love getting feedback, and figure it's probably important to everyone else, too, so... Anyway. Don't worry about that little thing- I've done it myself time and again.  :D It didn't detract anything at all, but I'd just wondered if we were compatriots in slapping things together in word (openoffice in my case) and then throwing them fully-formed into the sweet embrace of the internet.

Suikama - Your logic is quite good - it seems you have the potential to be a detective in addition to your writing, or at the very least like you'd enjoy mysteries. That feeling - the feeling of why - is part of the fun of writing fiction like this. Trying to tie the loose ends between stories together, or exploring possibilities. Even considering the hyper-educational state of the reality of Yumemi exists in... 18? Hrmn. I sense... A contradiction!

By the by, my general mood is something like this. I would blab on about how wonderful that certain thing is, but it seems you and I already know about that!  :D Anyway. I like your idea of misunderstandings (and the good/bad ends that come from) being something that it's the responsibility of the reader to resolve as much as the characters. Perhaps the characters in a story can reach a good ending without our help - but even if they can, does it matter if the audience doesn't know? Even if you don't pursue that theme next entry, I'm going to pay more attention to clues and other possibilities. I fancy myself a bit of a sleuth, but I'm pretty sure Dorothy Sayers would be kicking me around the room right now.  :blush:

And speaking of mysteries, I've been going over things again and again - and like a good mystery, now that I know the conclusion, it's just amazing what I didn't pick up on before. Well written, and highly enjoyable - even if my original theory wasn't even in the ballpark.  :3 Are you thinking of taking a shot at this topic as well?

Music does indeed stir the brain and simmer the ideas of writing... And already, my mind alights with ideas for a somewhat peculiar type of post-apocalypse.... Fwahahahaha!

Awesome sig courtesy of Squawkers23! Thanks!

Oh, you're looking for words? My writing is here.
Do you remember me? I also remember you - and though we haven't met in so many days, I still know you and love your memories. If you stumbled upon this - good luck, in whatever you might do.

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #763 on: May 10, 2011, 06:10:37 AM »
Spoiler:
Actually, I wasn't thinking of that at all when I wrote it, but that was really insightful so I'm probably just going to roll with that.  No, the girl is not going to get eaten.
Haha, I see. So I found a fitting interpretation that wasn't even intended, yay  :3

Bias Bus

  • It's unpleasent
  • *
  • if you're better than me
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #764 on: May 10, 2011, 06:35:34 AM »
Music does indeed stir the brain and simmer the ideas of writing... And already, my mind alights with ideas for a somewhat peculiar type of post-apocalypse.... Fwahahahaha!

That it does. The one I'm listening to already has me set to end the world.
Spoiler:
Again.
No Math Zone - Tumblr (slight nsfw) | Legend of a Hot-Blooded Pig

"The only guy you know to draw fat Touhous." - Erebus

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #765 on: May 11, 2011, 04:30:32 AM »
Suikama - Your logic is quite good - it seems you have the potential to be a detective in addition to your writing, or at the very least like you'd enjoy mysteries. That feeling - the feeling of why - is part of the fun of writing fiction like this. Trying to tie the loose ends between stories together, or exploring possibilities. Even considering the hyper-educational state of the reality of Yumemi exists in... 18? Hrmn. I sense... A contradiction!
Personally I dislike conventional detective fiction and mysteries as fiction for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it's more like a game rather than a story. Yeah it's fun to connect obscure clues and it's feels nice for everything to come together to one solution, but then after that what was really gained? The detetives get heralded as geniuses and heros but how much good did they really do? Catching criminals is only a temporary solution to a problem that has deep roots in human nature itself. Stories that mix things up are an exception, but when are they not? :V Mystery itself is great for lots of reasons which I don't want to get into right now cause it would take forever to cover :V but yeah I like mystery itself but the 'mystery genre' feels restricting and has already had it's time to shine back in the whatevers :V

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #766 on: May 11, 2011, 05:04:08 AM »
Personally I dislike conventional detective fiction and mysteries as fiction for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it's more like a game rather than a story. Yeah it's fun to connect obscure clues and it's feels nice for everything to come together to one solution, but then after that what was really gained? The detetives get heralded as geniuses and heros but how much good did they really do? Catching criminals is only a temporary solution to a problem that has deep roots in human nature itself. Stories that mix things up are an exception, but when are they not? :V Mystery itself is great for lots of reasons which I don't want to get into right now cause it would take forever to cover :V but yeah I like mystery itself but the 'mystery genre' feels restricting and has already had it's time to shine back in the whatevers :V

Fun fact - average joe readers like restrictions. True art may let the mind run wild, but mystery is a big seller for a reason.

I as a reader love mysteries because they're like a game. Likewise, I have absolutely no interest in being preached to about morality and human nature when looking for something fun to read.

As an aside. when it comes to truths, I feel comedy is the best medium. People laugh because its true, and its the best way to make a point while engaging an audience. Mind you, I'm not nearly a high enough caliber comedian to pull of commentary myself, but the Colbert Report and the Daily Show have their followings for a reason.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #767 on: May 11, 2011, 05:39:24 AM »
Likewise, I have absolutely no interest in being preached to about morality and human nature when looking for something fun to read.
Of course not :V Very few people care about that stuff, but that doesn't mean it isn't relevant or that it's something that can't be explored. Also what I mentioned was only what I didn't like about mysteries, a purely subjective and personal opinion. Mystery novels are great fun of course, but aren't something I would like to write unless I was doing a deconstruction, like a detective that preaches justice and catches criminals in the name of the pure ideal of justice but then one day sees things from a different perspective and learns that all of his actions are actually causing mass suffering and he is forced to make a decision between sticking to his old beliefs and blindly admistering his deluded 'justice' or give up everything he has in pursuit of a better truth, you know something like that :V

capt. h

  • Only sane townie
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #768 on: May 11, 2011, 06:24:18 AM »
Of course not :V Very few people care about that stuff, but that doesn't mean it isn't relevant or that it's something that can't be explored. Also what I mentioned was only what I didn't like about mysteries, a purely subjective and personal opinion. Mystery novels are great fun of course, but aren't something I would like to write unless I was doing a deconstruction, like a detective that preaches justice and catches criminals in the name of the pure ideal of justice but then one day sees things from a different perspective and learns that all of his actions are actually causing mass suffering and he is forced to make a decision between sticking to his old beliefs and blindly admistering his deluded 'justice' or give up everything he has in pursuit of a better truth, you know something like that :V

I think we write for different reasons.  :V

Or maybe different flavors of the same reason. I pretty much only write stories with characters I like in situations I find interesting. One (there are others) of the reasons I use Mokou a lot is because she can survive any situation I throw at her. To make it interesting, I tend to go with plots that would kill a normal person and do kill Mokou repeatedly, or plots that are dangerous even to an immortal.

Truth be told, I have trouble with moral conflicts and emotional situations. I kind of wish I could write them, but I have trouble even reading them; they tend to stir up some deep emotions. For example, I can't write characters that feel guilt, like that detective in your hypothetical story. Reading/writing despair is actually kind of fun, but I simply can't stand a character that beats himself up, and a lot of my interest in reading/writing requires that I like the characters.

I doubt there would be much intentional symbolism or morals in anything I write. Unintentional symbolism maybe, but not much of it would be deliberate.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #769 on: May 13, 2011, 02:53:20 PM »
I notice multiple calls for feedback, and as my teeth sink into my lip, I recall the reason I stopped by such a place. To writers, even a brief story is a fraction of their soul, proof of our magic, ahahaha- so to receive no acknowledgment at all is like being denied bread and water. Therefore! I shall provide the feedback y'all crave! Worry not - I'm not nearly as crazy as I seem, f'real.

Great. Now I'm obligated to write feedback this time and every time afterwards. Thanks anyways.
Phase 1: Through Rou You Can. Will edit-complete as time allows
Phase 2: mostly done, moving on to actually composing entry

Don't expect anything great. I'm just as bad at reviewing as at writing.

^I'll do my best to try and not repeat what others have said, but I'm perpetually sleep-deprived. Ask and ye shall be credited

andrewv42:
The diction creates an almost "musty" ambiance that concisely conveys a sense of decay, nostalgia, and fantasy. The relatively consistency of structure combined with jumps between a third-person evaluation, the perceptions, and thoughts of the unnamed Protagonist creates a good sense of flow while adding more layers of interpretation (Border between self and non-self? Border between privileged observer and observed?). You seem to have an interest in emotional extremes and convey things that "feel right" (lack of personal experience must force me to withhold evaluation in respect.) The last paragraph seems stilted and "cheap", but, in context, I am inclined to believe that that was a stylistic choice.

Squidtentacle:
Kudos for resisting the urge to take this topic as an excuse to write something nigh-incomprehensible. The style is simple and almost relaxing; Flandre's innocence seems to permeate the work and gives an offset to the paranoia that builds up to the reveal. Flandre's thoughts are placed for good effect, but her actual dialogue falls a bit flat; I am entertaining the notion that it is there to help create a subtle unease and sense of artifice, but I'm not you.

日巫子:
I can't say much more than what has been already been said. There's a description of hunger that seems intuitively right and a dark undercurrent to run away with. What more could a reviewer/WMGer want? Spacing and formatting add a nice touch of transition and additional implications of intrusion or the presence of the terrifying animal nature of the "humanoid" mind. I'd call this drabble-ish, but I'm not sure if that is a good or a bad thing.

Sankako Logs:
Surreal Humor Go! The feel of self-aware silliness and generally light attitude makes the work simple, fun, and readily readable. I would sum this up as sweet, simple, and likeable.

Iced Fairy:
Metadreaming. That is all. More specifically, the setting details in the first part seem arbitrary and have no logical flow between them. What better way to convey the mutable reality of a dream? The second part makes more "sense" but doesn't lose this quality. The concluding confusion of the identity of the character seems to be the main point. You've succinctly turned our eyes on one of the more troubling questions about reality: the existence and nature of identity.

Rou You Can:
Catchy and energetic, this piece is an infectious interpretation of Marisa and her relationship with Reimu. I feel like an idiot for saying this, but the directness (and general lack of mindscrew) is of course one of the main factors in maintaining this "voice of Marisa" to me.

Esifex:
I can't really say more. Solid story that has a feeling of "layering" or "stackness" (A feeling that there's more meaning to tease out, etc.)

GuyYouMetOnline:
Like a "good" action movie, the action moves along at an excellent clip. Dialogue is, as mentioned before, very natural. The end seems a bit weak, as if the story closes earlier and just peters out.... oh well. Not as if I know of a way to avoid that.

capt. h:
Even more surreal humor! Laugh-inducing parody of Inception using the nature of dreams as not a theme but a GAG. The presence of an unbounded potential for cruelty is so directly presented that I'm pondering if it wraps around back to subtle.

Tired/Warm:
First of all, the ending was heartwarming. As for the rest, my mind has been partially completely destroyed by the awesomeness.
In all seriousness, fanfics that deal seriously with Shikieiki and the responsibility of judgement seem to be hard to write (must withhold judgement before trying myself) especially with the potential for empty moralizing, Author Filibusters, and the like. The slightly surreal beginning and unabashedly thinned reality of the middle serve to emphasize the feeling of unease and self-doubt that seem to define the piece.

nintendonut888:
GAHH! I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING THAT HASN'T BEEN SAID ALREADY! I'm sorry!
That aside, the story is a comforting, relaxing read. I appreciate the effort you put into world-building. The idea of the promise "for ever" seems evocative of the obsessive search for permanence in our lives and relationships.

Suikama:
TOO SUBTLE
Great story even without figuring out what is actually happening, though. As mentioned above, the emotional impact is intense; the thoughts of the characters seem a bit too familiar (Unnamed Feeling of Unease was pulled off especially well here) (in other words, in a good way). Delusional Chiyuri added to that uncertainty.

Conquerer:
I'm severely tempted to rip off Tired/Warm's review, just as you were tempted to rip of the plot of Concealed the Conclusion.  :]
There's a hint of a dialogue between change and stagnation. Part of that is the conflict between novelty and history (or maybe I'm reading too much into Tenshi trashing a museum)
I'm not sure how this really ties into dreams, though.

Affinity:
Yay! More mindscrew!
There's a sense of semi-completeness, as if this is part of something greater; I would say a good ambiance for a dream-themed work. More change-stagnation vibes in the third paragraph with a hint of escapism. I'm pretty sure I'm not appreciating all of this.
« Last Edit: May 14, 2011, 08:55:22 AM by LogosOfJ »

andrewv42

  • I heard Malzaherp
  • needs a derp
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #770 on: May 13, 2011, 08:44:34 PM »
I probably have an incapacity for committing myself to something comprehensive and lengthy. This is my entry.  :blush:
It's excessively descriptive and has never been introduced to the concept of, "Plot." But then, what of it?



It was inconceivable as to how it should have been probable. A hollow void had swelled to occupy the heavens, and from it had emerged an anomalous energy. Within an instance, the whole city had been swallowed by nuclear detonation; a tumescent uprising of cloud to accompany the setting sun.

Politicians were confounded, and much conference was held ? fatal, of course, for the prevailing uncertainty conduced an indecision. Terrorism was culpable, and therefore immediately condemned; but this judgment was proven imprecise as the armies directed into foreign wastes did not stifle the frequentation at which cities disappeared. There would be occasions of calm, where the trouble had thought to be extinct, but a week of anticipation would then precede a havoc of international destruction; an insatiable tide of death.

Presently, the spires of civilization stood as hollow entities; meagre skeletons, poised before a sun in its throes of death. The sky would not vary from a pallor of red; clouds could not have been conceived; birds, scarcely memory. The world in its final chaos was ponderously still.

Silence. The wind had held its breath for centuries, and no ambition upon Earth could divine rain. The one sensation that this world possessed were that of light ? sparks of conflict against the turbid sky; conflict that suggested a clash of magic. No human could have survived the savage temperatures; the trees certainly hadn?t, what with water having long departed. If a spectator was to hypothetically be placed amidst this scene, however, his gaze would instantaneously be tempted by the successive cosmic explosions that occurred a handsbreadth above the scalded horizon. They were growing more frequent; sound, abolished by distance, but the course of action was perceptibly encroaching upon the sun.

Our spectator would take interest at how the sun accommodated his scrutiny; the fierce orange did not persuade him to cast his gaze from its effulgence. What autonomy it might have had over previous humans had been annihilated following the moons destruction, and the dispersion of its powdered fragments into the atmosphere of the Earth.

The eruptions of light, now intensely frequent, stabbed in the belly of the sun, and abruptly ceased. At last, the world was in the suspended animation that it had a right to; the sky a featureless perfection of maroon. This was scarcely contrary to death. But no sooner would a spectator delight in this serenity than would he remark at the sun?s detonation; the outward coruscations in spectacular revolution.

The sun?s fire now swelled into a contusion, and vanished to reveal an atramentous cloud in rapid approach; within minutes, it would strike. This world was strangely unmoved by the sight of its doom, however. Not a feature contrived to exhibit any manner of concern; the endless acres of ash ? once soil ? seemed content to be dowsed of its misery in silent concession.

The cloud expanded to capacitate the sky, so that all light was snuffed but for a livid ember that inhabited the centre of the advancing turmoil. The vapours were first to descend; diaphanous wisps that caressed the paralysed Earth in its final interaction with life. Then, shocking, insuperable sound; sound that tore at the sands so that they leaped skywards in anguish; sound that shook, with severity, the cataleptic air; sound to immerge, smother and drown our spectator, castrating him of all sense, so that his final dying perception would be that of a fleeting chaos of dark.

Utsuho Reiuji whipped at the sweat that hung in profuse upon her forehead. She had conquered this rival; the contemptible little bulb that threatened to eclipse her own effulgence now scattered its corpse upon the plane of the galaxy. She had conquered, and it was victory, and its full complement of fierce jubilee that overcame her - but she stifled her triumph. Brighter objects clung obstinately to the sequence that surrounded her; stars of variable size and exuberance all challenged to dominate her light. But she could never again contend with defeat - not after having been defeated once, and in rescue from the misery of loss, she compelled herself to remain in permanent endeavour towards final victory - a victory that would ascertain an inviolable supremacy above all.

Yes; she would have it.

She traversed the black of space, with scarcely a thought for the cinder of an Earth that stood annihilated in her wake.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2011, 08:49:43 PM by andrewv42 »
I eat squirrels.

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #771 on: May 13, 2011, 09:15:47 PM »
This is the first time entering a WWC, hope you enjoy.



   Nobody knew why it happened; people would say it was because humanity lost faith in their future. But one day, the barriers separating the worlds of fantasy and reality simply collapsed. In almost no time at all, the world would be overrun by the supernatural creatures known as youkai. Humanity attempted to strike back against this invasion, launching an assault against the youkai's point of origin in Japan with every weapon available. This desperate attack would end in failure, leaving a once great nation a scorched ruin, its surviving inhabitants left to the mercy of ancient and unknown creatures.

   Many years have passed since then, and a generation has been born and raised into this new world. Two of these children were Maribel Hearn and Renko Usami. Both girls had been orphaned at a young age; their parents had sacrificed themselves to protect their children from an attack by hostile youkai. The two were taken in by a group of survivors and moved into a settlement.

   The settlement was small, with no more than approximately a hundred people living in it. However, its inhabitants had been able to re-establish civilization quickly, and the area had agriculture, running water, and electricity in short order.

   However, defense would be a major issue. Wandering youkai and humans taking advantage of the lawlessness land would regularly threaten the settlement. While the inhabitants were armed, this was not quite enough to fend off the attacks.

   It was then that an eccentric scientist named Okazaki developed the Youkai Summoning Program; by communicating with friendly and willing youkai, the settlement was able to form contracts and make allies among the youkai which were once entirely considered enemies of mankind.



   Maribel and Renko were in a run-down house on the edge of the settlement. The two were at a table, where they had gathered numerous blades, firearms, and other equipment. They were preparing to venture out and hunt down a youkai which had been threatening the settlement and its inhabitants.

   Maribel wasn't comfortable around weapons, but she knew that there was the chance that nobody else might be around for her when she needed it and she would need them to defend herself. It wasn't just the youkai one had to be worried about outside of the settlements; raiders and looters were also a common threat. She reluctantly picked up a hunting knife and a semiautomatic pistol and fixed them around her waist.

   Renko took a rifle and slung it over her shoulder. She'd known too many people who lost life or limb; she wasn't going to let someone she cared about be harmed if she had the power to prevent it.

   ?Do I get a weapon too??

   Renko and Maribel turned around. Behind them was Cirno, a fairy that had joined them some time ago. While she wasn't as powerful as some other youkai, she still had magical abilities that were greater than anything the two humans could muster.

   Maribel simply smiled.

   ?You don't need a weapon, Cirno. You're already so strong compared to us, aren't you??

   Renko chuckled. Despite the light mood in the air, she was extremely nervous inside. The three of them were going out into dangerous territory, and she didn't know whether they would return together, or if they would return at all.



   Maribel, Renko, and Cirno were now outside of the settlement. The area they were in didn't seem like dangerous territory at all; it was a quiet, tranquil field of flowers, almost like a garden. Still, the three of them proceeded carefully, as they had no idea what to expect. Renko took the lead, slowly moving forward with her gun at the ready.

   It would be a matter of time until they would come face to face with a youkai... or perhaps not, since the youkai would sneak up on them from behind.

   Renko turned around to face the ambusher, but was waiting until it showed hostility before firing. Maribel and Cirno followed her lead. The youkai floated in place; she was holding a parasol as large as she was, which appeared to have a face of its own. Maribel pulled a small computer out of her pocket, and started the communication program in the event the youkai was willing to talk.

   ?I did it! I did it! I finally surprised someone!?

   Renko lowered her gun, bemused. This youkai didn't seem to show any intention of attacking them, at least for now. It couldn't do any harm to talk.

   ?So is that all you wanted to do? Just surprise somebody??

   The youkai stuck her tongue out and chuckled.

   ?So was I good? Were you surprised??

   Renko thought a moment about what to say. Considering she was expecting the youkai to attack outright when it snuck up on them, she wasn't taken that off guard. Still, if she at least attempted to flatter her, things would go more smoothly...

   ?We were, actually.?

   The youkai cheered.

   ?I did it, I did it, I did it! You know what, just to thank you, I think I'll join you! That okay??

   Before Maribel or Renko could respond, the youkai flew around and positioned itself next to Cirno.

   ?I'm Kogasa. Hope we have a good time together!?



   A long period of time had passed, and the four had proceeded further and further into the field. Soon, they would encounter another youkai. This youkai carried a parasol like Kogasa, but she gave off an entirely different aura. Her very presence felt dangerous and malevolent.

   ?Ah, I take it more foolish humans have come before me to try and exterminate me??

   Renko and Maribel could feel nothing but fear in this commanding presence. Cirno and Kogasa seemed to be reacting to this, and were also trembling. Finally, Renko worked up the courage to speak.

   ?We want you to leave the settlement here and its human inhabitants alone. If you do not agree to this, you leave us with no choice but to use force.?

   The youkai simply laughed at this notion.

   ?Why should I? It's a different world now. Humans and youkai aren't bound by any rules. Strength is all that matters now.?

   Renko gritted her teeth and slowly raised her gun towards the youkai.

   ?So that's why you kill human beings? Just because you're strong doesn't mean you're allowed to do whatever you wish without consequence!?

   The youkai continued laughing.
   
   ?Because I kill human beings, is that the only reason you hate me? I've watched you humans, and you seem to be as capable of killing as any youkai. We only attack humans because it's our nature. You don't have any reason to kill like we do... is war and slaughter just a game to your species??

   Renko couldn't think straight anymore. It wasn't enough that a youkai was killing innocent people, but to claim moral superiority over humans? Without thinking, she pointed her rifle towards the youkai and pulled the trigger.

   Despite being stronger than humans, youkai were still flesh and blood, and could still be hurt. A roar pierced the sky as bullets tore into the youkai's shoulder.

   ?You also have that thirst for blood, don't you... well, then, let yours stain the ground and nourish the earth, wretched human! Spend your last moments regretting having ever laid eyes upon Yuka!?

   The youkai rushed at the group, lashing out at the first person she could reach. Maribel was knocked to the ground and left reeling. Cirno and Kogasa flew in front of her, defending her as she got back to her feet.

   Renko aimed her rifle and opened fire again. This time, it was not out of rage at Yuka, but out of fear for Maribel's life. She was the closest thing Renko had to family, and she didn't want to lose her like this. The youkai opened her parasol and released a burst of magical energy, deflecting the bullets into the air. She closed it just as soon as she opened it, and rushed forward again, grabbing Renko in a hold and putting a hand around her neck.

   Maribel looked on in horror. If she tried to attack the youkai now, there was a chance she'd hit Renko. But if she didn't do anything, Renko would be snapped in half like a branch... Maribel counted so much on other people to help her, but when they needed her, was she simply useless? She lowered her gun and dropped it to the ground in despair.

   In the commotion, Kogasa had managed to get behind Yuka, and fashioned her parasol into a spear. She pulled her arm back, and thrust forward, piercing the youkai through the back.

   ?Impossible... how? How...?

   Yuka collapsed to the ground, bleeding and in pain. She was in disbelief; had she truly lost to humans and the youkai too weak to survive on their own? This injury wasn't enough to kill her; youkai were resilient, and healed quickly. Still, this pain was more than she'd ever experienced... and more than she could bear.

   ?You've won... end it.?

   Renko lowered her gun.

   ?No. You said it yourself, we can choose to do whatever we want if we're strong enough... and I choose to spare you.?

   Yuka gritted her teeth. It wasn't enough that she lost to a human, but for this same human to take pity on her, to claim she was stronger now? Yuka gathered magical energy into the palm of her hand, and prepared for one last strike, lunging forward.

   A gunshot rang out, and she fell to the ground, never to get up again.

   Renko looked around in confusion. She hadn't fired. Maribel's gun was on the ground... had she done it? She looked around some more, and behind where Yuka had been was another human. A green-haired girl dressed in blue and white was standing there, lowering a rifle that had just been fired.

   ?You're still na?ve, I see. To give mercy to a youkai is more than you can afford. Are you foolish enough to believe they'd surrender??

   ?Who are you?? Renko called out.

   ?...I am Sanae, from the Moriya settlement. I have a question for you, as well.? The girl focused her gaze on Cirno and Kogasa. ?Can you honestly trust youkai??

   ?...what do you mean by that??

   ?...do you think that they're helping you out of goodwill, or that they see you as an opportunity to gain power? What makes you think they won't betray you at the first opportunity??

   Maribel and Renko didn't know what to say to this girl. She'd known that there were people who refused to work with youkai and had split off from the settlement she lived in, but she didn't expect to meet one of them. The girl continued to talk.

   ?If you continue to work with the youkai, you're only straying farther from the path of the gods. Is that something you're willing to do??

   Maribel and Renko definitely didn't have an answer this time. This talk of whether or not youkai could be trusted... this wasn't something she ever thought about before.

   ?I have nothing more to say to you.? The girl turned around, and walked off into the distance just as suddenly as she appeared.



   Maribel, Renko, Cirno, and Kogasa had returned to the settlement. A huge crowd of people had gathered in the centre, as if something was about to happen... or already happened. The girls got closer to see what was going on, and saw what appeared to be a youkai.

   The youkai looked small, being shorter than either Maribel or Renko, but still appeared intimidating; wings like a bat sprung from her back, spanning several feet. The youkai was accompanied by a human, a young silver-haired woman dressed in a maid's uniform.

   ?Humans of this settlement, hear this!? the youkai bellowed. ?These lands and all in them belong to Remilia of the Night! You shall obey my will!?

   ?What gives you the right to tell us what to do?? someone in the crowd protested. Remilia smiled, showing fangs like that of a vampire.

   ?It's not about what gives me the right... it's about what gives me the power. I stand unopposed as one of the strongest youkai in this area. None can defy me!?

   Someone from the crowd charged forward with a weapon to try and attack her. This act of bravado would be punished with a blood-red spear of magical energy. This spear pinned the man to the ground, leaving him to twitch and spasm until he finally expired. The crowd, Maribel and Renko included, could only look on in horror.

   ?Look upon the mortal that attempted to challenge me, and look upon his fate. That fate awaits anyone who dare oppose me!?

   The crowd stood silent.

   ?I also have a message for the youkai of this settlement. Why do you choose to work with these humans? They are meant to serve us, not the other way around. Join me, and I can give you power the likes of which you have never seen!?

   Several of the youkai went towards Remilia, but not to attack her. They were defecting, deciding to join her. This was met with shock and disbelief from the humans.

   ?I bid you good day. Remember my warning to you all.? Remilia turned around and left, her assistant and her newly recruited youkai following her.
   
   Despite the danger having passed for now, tensions were building among the crowd.

   ?I knew we should never have trusted those damn youkai!?

   ?It's only because of the youkai that we've survived for so long, haven't we??

   ?It's because of those things that the world's like this in the first place!?

   ?We should just kill them all on sight and be done with it!?

   ?We won't let you do something like that!?

   ?Try and stop me, then!?

   A gunshot rang out, the crowd turning towards the source. It was a girl dressed in red and white, having fired into the ground to break the tension. This was Reimu Hakurei. While she was young, she had dealt with many threats to the settlement, and was trusted by the community.

   ?I understand your concerns right now. However, we need any allies we can find to protect us. While I understand some of you are uneasy with the youkai, we have no choice but to work with them. If you disagree with this, you are free to leave. If you choose to stay and cause disorder, don't think I'm not willing to shoot you where you stand.?

   Maribel and Renko thought back to what Sanae had told them in the field outside the settlement, and thought about what Reimu was saying right now. The two seemed to have completely different beliefs about how to treat the youkai... who was right and who was wrong?

   Reimu continued to talk.

   ?Right now, we need to prepare to strike back against Remilia. This settlement will not bow down to the will of another, and I will not forgive her for killing one of our people. Anyone who wishes to come with me, get ready for tomorrow. We will meet back here at dawn.?

   Maribel and Renko took heed of Reimu's words, and went back to the abandoned house to ready themselves for the battle to come.



   The next day had come, and Reimu, Maribel, and Renko had gathered outside an old mansion some distance from the settlement with the best weapons and equipment they could find. Cirno and Kogasa were following behind. They were not the only ones  to arrive; a young blonde woman dressed in black was standing over a wounded youkai in the mansion's entrance.

   ?Teach you to get in my way...? the woman yelled down at her defeated opponent. ?I'm going to let you live, but next time I might not be so merciful.?

   The youkai apparently decided to heed this warning, as she used what strength she had left to crawl into the mansion and escape. The woman then turned to Reimu and the rest of the group.

   ?Eh? And who the hell are you??

   ?We're from the nearby settlement. We've come to take out Remilia.? Reimu answered.

   The woman laughed at the idea.

   ?You think you're strong enough to do that??

   ?And you're saying you are?? Renko asked.

   ?Not just me. I have allies too.?

   The woman called out her youkai. This was not like the youkai Reimu and the others were used to, which resembled humans. This youkai was a large metallic disc with an engraving of a woman's image, glowing with an intense magical energy.

   ?I am Marisa, and this is my youkai, Kikuri. If you're going after Remilia too, then I guess you're free to tag along if you don't get in my way.?

   The group entered the mansion, wary for whatever they might encounter.



   It had been an unnerving trek, but the party had managed to reach the inner chambers of the mansion without incident. Renko opened the door, and the group entered what appeared to be a grand dining hall. Remilia was sitting at the opposite end of the room, as if she was expecting someone.

   ?So you witnessed my power, and yet you still try to oppose me. Such foolish humans.?

   Remilia stood up, and started gathering magical energy into her hand. Reimu and the others took cover as the room was torn apart by an intense blast. Cirno and Kogasa rushed out of the dust and debris, launching their own attacks. Shards of ice and kaleidoscopic bursts filled the hall.

   ?Impossible! Is she just brushing those attacks off like they were nothing?? Maribel looked on in shock as she prepared to fire.

   Maribel, Renko, Reimu and Marisa all aimed their weapons at the youkai and opened fire. This barrage was barely effective; Remilia merely ignored the bullets hitting her body.

   While this was happening, Kikuri had built up magical energy within itself, waiting for the right moment to attack. It now unleashed this power in a massive wave, utterly obliterating everything in front of it.

   Still, even this was not enough to harm Remilia. While she had been knocked off balance, she was unscathed and quickly regained her footing.

   ?Is that all you have to muster? How disappointing. Still, you have put up a good fight, and I see it fit to reward you with a swift and merciful death.?

   Reimu gritted her teeth. She wasn't going to lose to a youkai, especially not one who tried to assert her dominance over her and the settlement. She reached into a pouch on her waist, pulled out a paper charm, and started to chant.

   ?Hama...?

   The charm started glowing, and Remilia was suddenly bathed in an incredible light. She was in intense pain; it felt like some mystical force was trying to expel her soul from her body. She tried to resist, but to no avail. Soon, this power would force her spiritual energy out of her, and with it, her life. Her body disintegrated, fading away with the light. The group looked on with a mix of awe and horror; Renko and Maribel didn't think they'd ever be used to seeing someone die, even if it was a youkai.

   ?We're done here.? Reimu declared as she discarded the exhausted charm.

   Before anyone could move, though, someone else appeared. It was the woman who was with Remilia when she appeared at the settlement at the previous day.

   ?We don't want to fight anyone else, least of all a human.? Maribel told the woman.

   ?I'm not here to fight you. I want to thank you. Remilia kept me here as her servant. I saw and did so many terrible things here, just because I was too weak to stop her... but now she's gone, and I'm free to choose my own path.?

   ?Do you want to come back to the settlement with us?? Reimu asked.

   ?I... I can't. After what happened, I don't think I'd be welcome there. I'm going to go and travel, to find my path. If we ever meet again... my name is Sakuya.?

   The woman disappeared.



   Maribel, Renko, Reimu, and Marisa were now back at the entrance of the mansion, preparing to leave.

   ?Reimu, what do we do about the youkai who left with Remilia?? Renko asked.

   ?They left of their own free will. If they want to come back, it's up to the settlement if they want to take them back. If the youkai choose to be hostile, then we do what we have to do.?

   Reimu then turned to Marisa.

   ?Speaking of allies... you're fairly skilled in combat, and you have a powerful youkai with you. If you choose to, we could provide you with a place in the settlement if you choose to lend us your strength.?

   ?Thanks, but no thanks. I don't live my life for others. In a world like this, the only person you can trust is yourself.? Marisa replied.

   She then turned around and headed off, Kikuri following her.

   Renko and Maribel were in deep thought, about the things Sanae had said, what Reimu had said, and what Marisa had said. Who could be trusted and who couldn't? The youkai? Other humans? Neither of them could come up with an answer, despite it running through their heads over and over as they returned to the settlement.

Kips McKipzerson

  • I never did learn
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #772 on: May 13, 2011, 09:25:55 PM »
TAC. That was so amazing. Aside from the fact you killed my waifu, This was a pretty amazing story. Are you going to make a sequel?  :3

Dead Princess Sakana

  • *
  • E is for Elodie, who swims with the fishes.
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #773 on: May 13, 2011, 09:36:01 PM »
TAC. That was so amazing. Aside from the fact you killed my waifu, This was a pretty amazing story. Are you going to make a sequel?  :3
No. We are not talking about "waifus" on MotK. Don't use that word again in a serious context like this fiction.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #774 on: May 14, 2011, 01:00:11 AM »
Well, I don't think anyone's gonna be surprised by the angle I ended up taking with this. :P

-------

This was the boring part.

Ichirin absently stretched her arms, the sun beating down on her relentlessly as she cracked her fingers. It was warm, as it always was in these parts, and she’d opted for a simple white vest and skirt. The days of walking around in a full hood were long gone - she was likely to melt within an hour if she tried that here.

Looking to her side, she saw Unzan looking at her with anticipation. He shifted form into a giant fist, which was his way of challenging her to a game of rock-paper-scissors. Ichirin barely hid a groan of frustration - this was how he always wanted to pass the time, and there was only so often she could play the game before she got tired of it. He managed to wring about two dozen games out of her, winning more than half of them without much difficulty.

That was the first sign that Ichirin was about to have a lousy time waiting.

She’d have to convince Byakuren to buy something if they had the money to spare. One of the board games the kappa had come up with. Maybe an instrument for her to vainly strum at. Anything that was more intellectually challenging than rock-paper-scissors.

She found her superior on the edge of the ship, staring outwards. She seemed unfazed by the wait she’d had to endure. Unsurprising - Byakuren Hijiri was used to waiting. She was the sort to spend hours in quiet contemplation, meditating over the old Buddhist truths.

Her companions were not quite as patient.

“So, uh. Nice weather, huh?” Ichirin asked.

It wasn’t, really. This was the same sort of weather Gensokyo always had nowadays. It came in two distinct flavours - blinding sunshine and drenching rain. No distinction, no deviation from the extremes. Ichirin had wondered now and again if the weather itself could be bipolar.

“Oh, yes. Wonderful.”

Byakuren nodded along, half-paying attention. One hand fidgeted at the black bikini she was wearing, straightening it out. She was looking vaguely into the distance, and Ichirin attempted to follow her eyes to see what was so interesting.

She saw the same landscape she had to look at most days - water in every goddamn direction. She couldn’t understand how Byakuren managed to look out at it without being sick to death by now.

The rocking of the boat didn’t help with the ‘being sick’ part.

“Watch it down there, Murasa.”

Ichirin shouted at the floor, where she was right above the captain’s quarters. As if she’d been summoned, a ghostly figure poked her head out from below.

“Cool it, Ichi. This isn’t like one’a the Flotsams where you just tie your boat up and it’s fine, y’know. Out here we’re pretty much at the mercy’a the waves.”

Murasa was the only member of the group who hadn’t needed a distinct change of outfit since...then. As a ghost, the concept of heat had never really affected her, and she wore her old sailor’s uniform whatever the weather. Seeing her grin without a single bead of sweat on her face, Ichirin couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of the girl. Maybe being dead wasn’t that rough.

“Count yourself lucky, too,” Murasa continued. “Back in my day, the oceans were full’a salt, and even if you didn’t take a step in the water it got right under your clothes and made you sweat like hell. You’ve got it good with all this freshwater crap, believe me.”

Ichirin considered continuing a discussion with Murasa to get her mind off of the tedium, but the captain insisted on returning to her quarters. Had to watch the cameras in case anything dangerous came up, she said. What was there that could be dangerous? The mansion had been abandoned for months now, and there wasn’t a living thing to be found inside. It had already been ransacked a dozen times by other teams - they were here mostly to scavenge the scraps, look for anything valuable that the other groups had missed. In particular, the kappa were interested in some of the magical tomes the old family had kept around - they’d be magically protected, of course, so water would have done them no harm.

She’d tried watching the cameras with Murasa once or twice, just to find something to do. It was an amazing experience in that it somehow managed to be more frustrating than doing nothing. The cameras were poor quality, the best they could afford with their miserable finances, and Ichirin was greeted more often than not with a wall of blue while those horrible noises wafted through the speakers. The hissing, the gurgling, the bubbling - with all their supposed advances in technology, why couldn’t the kappa have made the damn things a little quieter?

At least when she looked at the ocean from up on deck she didn’t have to hold her fingers in her ears. Now she looked a little closer, she could make out a speck in the distance, though it hadn’t been what Byakuren was focusing on. Based on how high it stood above the water, it had to be the Mountain of Youkai. It was the only natural surface still above land nowadays, and the tengu had taken immediate measures to keep out anyone who couldn’t pay their way in. They weren’t as social as they used to be, typically flying high above ships and Flotsams to take their photos, occasionally having one of the lower-down members of the race send in the latest publications.

Ichirin never read their work. It was second-rate slander when it wasn’t outright fabrication.

A splash came from the side, and Ichrin turned to look at it. A school of fairies leapt out of the water, their little wings fluttering to keep them in the air for a little bit longer before gravity pulled them down again. She remembered the days when the creatures had legs like the rest of Gensokyo did, the days when nature would personify itself in roughly human form. Now that water had become the dominant element in nature, it was incredibly rare not to see fairies that weren’t half fish, flapping around their scaly tails to try and gain a bit more leverage before splashing back into the water.

The fairies were still as harmless as they’d always been. There’d been one incident when a trio of them had come together and tried to sneak onto the ship - a plan that failed miserably when they remembered they couldn’t walk anymore. And the incident where one strong-looking fairy had built a ring of ice around the ship, looking to hold it in place.

She’d treasured the look on the fairy’s face when the ship just rose out of the water, floated along, then dropped back down and went on its way.

How long had it been? The sun was her best guide nowadays, and from the looks of this it had been maybe an hour. Same as usual for those two. They never came back up too quickly. They were thorough. Well, to be more accurate, one of them was thorough, and the other wouldn’t get away with being careless in her presence. It meant nothing was overlooked, and they always came up with all the treasure they could have found.

Ichirin just wished it didn’t come with boring her out of her skull as a side effect.

She’d stopped paying attention to the sun after so long, playing out a percussion piece with her fingers tapping against the side of the ship. She looked absently at the rope hanging over the edge, dipping down into the water below.

There were bubbles starting to surface.

“Hey, they’re coming up,” Ichirin said to Byakuren, with audible relief. The monk turned towards Ichirin, her mouth shaping a tiny circle as she walked over. She looked down, nodding as the streams of bubbles rising up grew heavier.

Byakuren grabbed at the rope, rooting her feet on the wooden deck. She tugged at it, a silent warning to those at the other end that she was ready to pull. A few seconds later, something below the surface of the water tugged back in understanding.

It always amazed Ichirin watching the head of the Myouren temple in action. It was strange to think this woman had once been human, seeing the ridiculous physical strength she was capable of. She pulled back the rope as if it was weightless, even though Ichirin knew she was hauling up two fully grown youkai.

Not to mention all of their equipment.

As the pair was being lifted up, Ichirin could hear the start of a dispute between them. She only caught the last few sentences as they were on the verge of making it to the deck.

“...and that’s why you don’t touch anything unless I give you the okay.”

“Come on, I figured it’d fall slowly. I mean, it was underwater and all...”

“If it had been any heavier, you’d never have lifted it high enough to get me out.”

“Yeah, but...”

The argument was cut short when the pair came over the edge of the ship and landed unceremoniously on the deck. As usual, there was some groaning and wincing as they squirmed around, struggling to stand with all the whatsits and doohickeys strapped to them. Ichirin didn’t know how most of them worked, but it wasn’t her job to understand the details of diving equipment. It was her job to put together the money to pay for it, all while keeping enough money for them to not starve on a daily basis. They told her what to buy, she told them it was too expensive. They got on their knees and pouted a little, she growled at them and said they’d have to skip lunch for the next week to afford it. They said it was okay, because they needed it to keep everyone else fed...she caved in, because Shou’s pout was impossible to resist.

Shou was also the unlucky one here, having made the poor decision of grabbing onto the rope first. As a result, her companion plopped on top of her, and she was now being crushed beneath both a mouse youkai and the various gadgets she needed to stay underwater without dying. Ichirin helped the mouse to her feet, hanging onto the still-soaked fabric of her grey wetsuit. It was a hard job lifting her up, especially with that tank strapped to her back. She’d quickly learned from these experiences that air DID, in fact, have weight, and when you compressed it in a small space it weighed a hell of a lot.

“Nazrin, couldn’t you dive with something a little lighter?”

Nazrin wasn’t exactly taken in by the comment, stumbling forward as Ichirin brought her to her feet. It was hard for the mouse to walk in the black flippers the kappa had insisted would make her faster. They worked, but only just enough that Nazrin didn’t dump them from inconvenience.

“Sure, as soon as I start breathing a little less.”

Nazrin started to dress down, starting with the tank and then moving onto the fins the moment she could feel her back again. Seeing that she’d be fine by herself Ichirin turned to her partner, who’d just about stood up thanks to the help of Byakuren.

Where grey and black had been the defining colours in Nazrin’s attire, Shou’s were gold and yellow. All in all, she looked much more cheerful than her counterpart, even going so far as to have a star emblem across her chest with the word TIGER running beneath it. The wetsuits were custom-made anyway, so she’d figured that while she was spending the money it was worth going for something a little special. In her hands she held two objects: in her left, the jeweled pagoda that had gone from being a symbol of divine faith to an invaluable light source; in her right, a velvet pouch that was full-to-bursting with magical tomes.

“We found most the books the kappa were looking for,” Shou said, her eyes looking elsewhere. “Although there were...complications.”

“That’s Shou’s way of saying she dropped a bookshelf on my leg.” Nazrin’s helpful interpretation came with a hefty dose of annoyance, glaring across at Shou from the other side of the deck. The tiger bit her lip, pulling the expression of guilt that had practically defined her.

“I said I was sorry, Nazrin...”

Nazrin’s expression as she glared at Shou was stubborn, childish. They’d be over it in a few hours, like they always were. Shou never meant any harm with her mishaps, and she usually managed to clean up her own mess. She was kind-hearted in spite of that, and although Nazrin always acted harsh around her the pair were closer than they would openly admit. Byakuren stepped in to break up the lovers’ quarrel, smiling as she always did.

“Let’s not get angry, you two. What matters is that you’re both alive, and we’ll be eating tonight.”

Byakuren leaned down, knocking on the wooden floor. Murasa rose up from beneath the planks in response.

“Murasa, set sail for the nearest Flotsam.”

The ghost gave an enthusiastic salute in response, standing to attention. Probably. It was hard for Ichirin to tell when she could only see the girl’s head and shoulders.

“Aye aye, ma’am. Setting sail for Suhyo. We should arrive within a few hours.”

Ichirin could tell Murasa was enjoying this. She’d probably had the most positive reaction to this entire situation - it had given her a chance to live life on the seas again, remember her days among the living. It was good to see that someone had profited from it, at least.

The ship came to life beneath them, beginning its slow trawl across the waters. Time for another long wait, but this time Ichirin at least had something to preoccupy her. She listened in to the infantile debate breaking out between Nazrin and Shou, smiling as the mouse pointed out every little flaw in her partner’s technique. This was their usual routine, and thus Ichirin could approach it with a grin.

It took her mind off the weather for a moment, though she came back to that thought after she caught her hand wiping another layer of sweat off her forehead. She caught herself wondering how great it would be if there could be a little rain on a warm day like this.

Then she remembered how this whole fiasco had started, and decided that she could deal with a little sun.

-----

They hadn’t been present on the day that Sanae Kotiya doomed Gensokyo, but they didn’t have to look hard to see its effects.

Gensokyo had been suffering an unprecedented drought. The land had gone without rain for well over a month, with no sign of respite. The youkai grew worried, concerned that their land would wither and die beneath the unrelenting sun. Crops failed, lakes shrank, and heatstroke left much of the human village incapacitated.

At last, it came to the point where Gensokyo needed divine intervention. The call went to the Moriya Shrine, requesting a miracle from their shrine maiden to bring forth rain. Seeing that almost all of Gensokyo was behind this call for help, and realising the vast amounts of faith they’d draw from it, the gods of the Moriya shrine accepted, and the miracle was performed that evening.

Hundreds gathered to witness Sanae Kotiya call to the heavens for mercy, begging for rain so that Gensokyo would be spared. Practically every creature in the land was relying on her, and thus the faith that empowered the miracle was astronomical. It was a miracle the sort of which would never be repeated, an entire nation coming together to channel a divine power.

Their plan went horribly right. Almost immediately, dark clouds formed above all of Gensokyo, bringing fierce rains down on the land. The crowds cheered, the farmers celebrated, and humans and youkai united in feasts and praise to the Moriya Shrine.

That was for the first week of rain. After that, it started to become clear that while they finally had the rain they needed, they were now getting far too much of it. The lakes that had been drying up were starting to flow over, and a sheet of water was running across the ground of Gensokyo.

And once again, there was no sign of mercy from the heavens.

The Moriya Shrine were quick to realise their mistake, but they’d created an unparalleled miracle in bringing the rain. They had no way of dispelling it, and thus Gensokyo had no choice but to ride it out. Other youkai attempted to hold it back - Yukari Yakumo went so far as to open a massive gap in the sky, trying to catch the rain and send it elsewhere, but even with all her strength she could only stop a small fragment of the rain.

The first of Gensokyo’s civilisations to feel the brunt of this onslaught was Chireiden, the underground. Much of the rainwater drained there through tunnels and caverns, sparing the surface the full force of the flood. There were plans above the surface for a mass evacuation, but before any action could be taken the youkai of the underground blocked themselves inside, closing the main entrance to Chireiden with a massive rockslide. It served to halt the flow of water into the city for a few weeks - until the sheer weight of the water shattered the makeshift dam, turning what would have been a gradual flow of water into a flash flood. When surface-dwellers saw water gushing into the main entrance without relent, they knew that Chireiden was lost.

On hearing of this, the kappa saw fit to begin with their emergency measures. Now that the underground wasn’t around to drain the water, the surface was going to flood with terrifying speed. Next to fall would undoubtedly be the human village, located on a simple plain and already taking on a good six or seven inches of water.

What had once been an experimental idea turned into a reality within days, with hundreds of kappa working around the clock to create it. In the nick of time the deed was done, and the kappa offered the human village a last-minute respite from the storms - by enclosing them inside an airtight dome, along with all the necessary magic and technology to keep their air fresh and breathable. It was intended as a temporary measure, to keep the village going until the rains receded.

Now that the village was several hundred feet underwater, it didn’t look set to be removed any time soon.

The rains continued, now swallowing up much of Gensokyo with the same devastating pace. The residents of the Scarlet Devil Mansion simply disappeared, presumably returning to the world outside the border where their mistress could survive. The Forest of Magic was lost, its residents taking refuge in the Human Village air-dome in the hope that they’d recover their goods soon. Like the rest of the Human Village, these hopes led to crushing disappointment.

Eientei was a strange case. Though it was next to be engulfed by the tides, Princess Kaguya refused any sort of aid from the kappa. The mansion was engulfed, along with the forest of bamboo - and yet its rabbit armies were seen going strong weeks later, with newly-found gills on their necks. A genetic advancement on the part of Eirin Yagokoro, presumably - and not one the Lunarians were willing to share with anyone else. Needless to say, when they locked themselves up in the now-flooded Eientei, no-one was heartbroken at their disappearance.

Help from other realms wasn’t going to happen either. When the flooding turned deadly serious, lands like the Netherworld cut off their links to Gensokyo for their own safety. Makai and the realms of Heaven closed their doors, leaving the nation to fend more or less for itself.

In spite of the cataclysm, the Great Hakurei Barrier managed to hold together. Reimu Hakurei’s protection had become Yukari’s top priority when she had failed to stop the rain, and the Hakurei Shrine was enchanted with a series of charms that allowed it to float above the water. The youkai of boundaries tended to her every need, keeping Gensokyo from falling apart as a result.

The waters continued to rise for weeks, covering hills and mountains, until the peak of the Youkai Mountain was all that remained above water. Many feared it was next to fall, that the entire country would be submerged within the week.

Then, finally, the miracle of rain subsided. The tengu were spared, as was the shrine whose maiden had been responsible for the entire disaster. They denied responsibility in the usual divine way - Yasaka moves in mysterious ways, if they hadn’t intervened Gensokyo would be a desert instead of an ocean, and so on. No-one was particularly convinced.

The water showed no sign of disappearing, so instead the kappa made the most of it. It was safe to say that in this environment, the kappa were more or less entirely in control. The rest of Gensokyo was depending on them for survival and shelter, and both of these were provided. First and foremost they built the Flotsams - floating cities that drifted across the surface of the water, which served as new homes for the many displaced youkai. Then came further research into the diving gear humans outside the border used to survive in the ocean. Inefficient and clumsy, the kappa agreed, but a good base to work from. Finally, after some indistinguishable tweaking, the first K-1 set went for sale. It offered everything a youkai needed to dive beneath the waves, from the necessities like an air tank to the small conveniences like a diving mask. As time passed, updates and upgrades were made, until at the present day the best equipment on offer was the K-5. Supposedly it made the thought of diving all the way to the sea floor plausible, but it was too expensive for anyone to test that claim.

The kappa remained the main driving force behind Flotsam economy, also pursuing fisheries to keep a constant supply of food. Once the basic needs of Gensokyo had been met, though, the kappa turned their attention to more intellectual matters. Much knowledge and history had been lost in the flooding, and they’d be willing to pay a good fortune to get hold of it. Though they wouldn’t finance dives, they’d offer massive rewards for returning missing artifacts that would advance the causes of knowledge and science.

This was the beginning of the group known as the Treasure Divers.

Mostly, they consisted of tengu - white wolves, to be precise, working on the orders of their crow superiors. As the only race not to lose their territory, the tengu had the edge on the rest of Gensokyo in terms of wealth, which meant they could afford more suits and send out more teams. There were about two dozen Treasure Diver teams currently active, and only one of these teams didn’t include the tengu race.

This was the team from the Myouren temple, now known as Myouren’s Ark.

The temple had been utterly unfazed by the rising waters - it was formerly a ship, after all. The main issue that emerged was the need for funding - the onboard food supply could only last them so long, and there was no easy way for them to make money on the Flotsams. Since the divine realms had retreated, religious belief in Gensokyo had fallen substantially, to the point where it just wasn’t possible to make a living as a temple any more.

When they caught wind of the Treasure Diver initiative, it seemed almost too good to be true. Two of their number were practically designed for the job - Shou had an ability to draw treasure towards herself, while Nazrin was able to detect treasure in her vicinity. They tested the idea out, having the pair go for a swim near the Youkai Mountain to see if anything valuable hung just beneath the surface.

One particularly rewarding success later, they managed to buy their first K-1 sets, and things went naturally from there.

It had been a few months now since the pair had started their Treasure Diving career in earnest. They’d needed to put aside money for upgrades on top of food, because with every day that passed other teams were scouring the ocean and bringing back treasures. The shallow areas grew less and less fruitful, and they had to dive deeper and deeper for any chance of success. Even then, they were mainly bringing back the items that other teams had failed to find, making just enough to keep the process going.

It was a tough life on the pair, and on the residents of the temple in general. But it beat starving to death in a Flotsam ditch any day of the week.

-----

Nazrin had managed to get herself dried and changed ten minutes before the ship’s arrival at Suhyo. As usual, she placed most of her equipment in a neatly-kept corner of her room, with the oxygen tank in a bag on its own. She was going to have to take that in to be refilled - one of the many maintenance bills they had to deal with on top of everything else.

It was awkward, seeing how the K-3 set took up almost as much space in her room as the bed. Diving had become an everyday part of her life now, her new day job. It was definitely more engaging than being sent out to look for lost pagodas on a daily basis, but it was also a lot more dangerous. The kappa made no attempt to act as if their machines were infallible - all it took was one loose valve and suddenly you were without air and a hundred feet beneath the surface. That was why Treasure Divers always worked in pairs, looking after each other in case something went wrong. The buddy system, they called it.

She fell backwards onto the bed, annoyed that she could recite that fact at will. She was getting too into this, too into the new way of life. She missed Gensokyo - the real one, not this soaked-through piece of junk. Where were the days when her idea of a busy day was rummaging around some bushes to figure out where Shou had dropped the pagoda this week? She was sick of having to drain water out of her oversized mouse ears whenever she surfaced. She was sick of the fact she spent every dive worrying there was nothing to be found, that the tengu had already scavenged everything of worth, that she was going to all this effort and risking fatal danger for absolutely no reward.

Nazrin looked over to the wardrobe, seeing her favourite dress collect dust. She’d tried to keep wearing it, but it was just too much to wear in this climate. She wore it when the monsoons hit and rain started pouring down, but otherwise she had to settle for outfits like the grey one-piece she was wearing now. It was another reminder of a time past, a time that’d probably never come back.

She rolled over on the bed, pressing her face against the pillow. She wasn’t going to cry, not if she wanted to keep some pride. But she’d allow herself to sniffle a little. She needed a moment to let these feelings out, before they welled up and took her apart.

She’d been wallowing in self-pity for maybe half a minute when a knocking resounded in the room.

“Nazrin?”

Shou spoke up from the other side of the door, knocking before she entered. It was a little code they’d put together - Nazrin had to be warned beforehand if anyone was entering the room, so they didn’t see her doing anything she didn’t want people to see. Looking miserable, for example. She lifted her head up, looking towards the door.

“Come in.”

Nazrin had managed to bring herself to an upright position, sitting on the bed as Shou entered. The tiger had evidently just finished changing, given that the top half of her striped bikini looked set to come undone at any more. She caught Nazrin’s eyes falling on the impending wardrobe malfunction, and nervously tied it up more securely.

“Ah, thanks for that,” she said with a hearty laugh. “Just wanted to check up on you, Nazrin.”

Shou grinned, with the same radiance her smile had held before this nightmare had started. How did she do it? How could the girl stay so cheerful, so resolute, when her world had been flipped on its head? Nazrin was impressed, but jealous at the same time. She couldn’t stand that part of Shou, and yet she wanted to emulate her more than anything.

“...I’m fine.” Nazrin replied, not even sounding remotely convincing. She fell into these moods whenever they came back from a dive - first by venting her frustrations at Shou for every mistake she could come up with, then retreating to her room and remembering the good old days. She wasn’t comfortable living like this, and she didn’t think she ever would be.

Shou took a seat on the bed beside Nazrin, wrapping an arm around her. The tiger gave her a little peck on the cheek, which earned her a blush  in response.

“It’s gonna be fine, you hear me? One day we’ll hit the big money, and we won’t have to work like this any more.”

“I don’t want to stop working,” Nazrin said, her voice trailing. “I want my old Gensokyo back.”

Dammit, she was crying now. Just a tear or two, but that was already more than she was planning to give off. She was just being picky now, wasn’t she? Gensokyo wasn’t coming back, and crying about it wasn’t going to help. God, she was pathetic, wasn’t she?

Shou’s arms wrapping around her pulled her back out of that line of thought.

“Nazrin...I know we’ve lost a lot. I know it’s hard. But I want you to know that no matter what happens, I’ll always be here for you.”

Shou’s body was warm as it pressed against Nazrin’s. She’d come from behind to give the mouse a full embrace. Nazrin’s head was just beneath hers, resting on her chest as their bare skin touched. It was purifying for Nazrin, feeling as if the darkest feelings were being drawn out of her and fading into thin air.

Maybe Shou was clumsy. Maybe her overeagerness had nearly killed them both on more than one occasion. But damn if she didn’t know how to make Nazrin feel loved.

“...Thanks, Shou. Really.” Nazrin mumbled out a thank-you, not wanting to sound too needy. She turned around a little, enough so that she could give Shou a hug in return, wrapping her arms around the tiger’s waist. Shou didn’t respond with words, but Nazrin could make out a satisfied-sounding growl resounding in her throat.

The pair held the embrace until the ship shuddered violently, stopping on the spot. They’d arrived at the Flotsam, right on schedule. By now it was heading into the afternoon, and they’d have to hurry to get their shopping done before business closed for the day.

“Well, then,” Nazrin said, rising to her feet with a spring in her step. “Let’s see how much those kappa are willing to pay for a few crusty old books.”

-----

The answer to Nazrin’s question turned out to be ‘quite a lot’. The kappa curator was rummaging through Shou’s sack of treasure, each item he pulled out bringing a larger smile to his face.

“You even managed to recover the Abyssal Grimoire? I have to say, I’m impressed.”

Shinjiro Mizutaka was the Flotsam’s curator, which basically meant he was the man every Treasure Diver wanted to be best friends with. He handed out dive spots where he figured there’d be worthwhile treasure, and he paid the lucky few who returned with the goods. Physically, he was indistinguishable from most of the kappa running around to keep the Flotsam running - dark blue hair, light blue eyes, and a navy jumpsuit which must have been unbearable to wear in this heat. He stood out mainly because he was the only member of the kappa squad to wear glasses, as an almost cliched symbol of intelligence.

His office looked no different from any of the other buildings in the Flotsam. For all their work in science and engineering, the kappa had never managed to get their heads around architecture, and as a result most buildings were featureless cubes with the occasional window. People were grateful for them, of course - the rent was tiny and they were decently sized. They just never had the same appeal as the extravagant mansions and cozy cottages the youkai of Gensokyo used to call home.

Furniture was all that separated one house from another, and Shinjiro hadn’t bothered with much. There was a bed in the corner, a desk in the centre where he dealt with his Treasure Diver business, and behind him was an unruly mess of retrieved artifacts. The invaluable was mixed with the worthless, and only the curator had a clue which was which. Maybe it was intentional, to serve as a theft deterrent. More likely he was just poorly organised.

Removing the last of the books that Shou and Nazrin had recovered, Shinjiro piled them up and planted them under the desk for now. More than likely they’d join the pile behind him and stay there until the museum made its weekly visit, looking for new artifacts to display. It was another of the kappa’s initiatives - to keep the old Gensokyo alive, they made sure everyone could see the treasures they’d once valued so dearly. They were mostly useless now, but the nostalgia was worth enough.

“I have to say...considering you two are on the back foot, you’re remarkably talented,” Shinjiro said, not making it obvious whether that was a compliment. “I haven’t seen a pair like you since Inubashiri’s team.”

“You mean Shameimaru’s team,” Nazrin corrected. They knew who he was talking about - Momiji Inubashiri, white wolf tengu and the best-paid Treasure Diver in the country. She had two distinct advantages over the rest of the competition - firstly, in a race renowned for their brilliant eyesight, Momiji was head and shoulders above the rest. Secondly, her diving partner wasn’t following the same rules the rest of the Treasure Divers had to obey - mainly because she was a shark, and didn’t have to worry about running out of air.

However, it was also common knowledge that like many other Treasure Divers, Momiji was answering to a superior. Hers was the crow tengu Aya Shameimaru, one of the Youkai Mountain’s best known journalists. She was loved by the masses who read her paper - and hated in equal measure by the residents she ‘interviewed’. Frankly, a better description would be ‘talked with, then warped the words in a sufficiently humiliating manner’. She had managed to eke an interview out of Shou, who had at one point commented on how the kappa running the Flotsam looked like he needed to shave sometime soon.

After reading about apparent hatred of the authorities keeping Gensokyo alive, Shou had not found the bravery to read the Bunbunmaru since.

“Oh, so you haven’t heard?” Shinjiro was visibly surprised by Nazrin’s response, falling backwards in his chair. It swivelled, falling back a few inches.

Four brows furrowed in unison. The entire crew had arrived to hand over the goods - apart from Murasa, who was unable to leave the ship for otherworldly reasons. Shinjiro, seeing the lack of understanding in their eyes, proceeded to elaborate.

“Inubashiri bought herself out of her boss’s pocket. She’s on her own schedule now.”

The crew of Myouren’s Ark portrayed their surprise in their own ways: Shou and Ichirin gasped. Byakuren let out a tiny ‘oh’. Nazrin blinked.

“That...” Shou was the first to find her voice. “That’s great news for her.”

White wolves typically didn’t get the chance to reap the rewards of their own work. Because the crow tengu were covering the payments for diving equipment, they also claimed the rights to most of the profit produced as a result. The white wolves got enough to live on, but nothing extravagant.

At least, that was unless the white wolf found a way to cover their own expenses.

“Yes, well,” Shinjiro said, with a nervous hint in his tone. “I wouldn’t be saying that too loudly, if I were you. If you’re looking for her, though, she’ll likely be in the Cephalic Mist getting herself a drink.”

Shou bowed deeply to the curator, with Ichirin and Byakuren nodding along in agreement. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a hefty-looking sack of coins.

“5,000 units. That’s more than I promised you, right?”

At that, the tiger’s eyes started to glimmer. She picked up the bag, feeling its weight, grinning madly. She looked ready to hug the kappa at any moment.

“T-Thank you very much, sir. We’ll be sure to keep up the good work from now on.”

She turned to leave, maybe so she didn’t give in to the urge to embrace the curator. Her companions quickly followed, walking out into the crowded streets of Suhyo.

“What’s with you?” Nazrin asked the tiger when they’d stepped outside. “I don’t see why we should care so much about an enemy.”

“Inubashiri isn’t an enemy, Nazrin. She’s just a fellow diver. It’s not like we’re fighting to the death over treasure, is it?”

“We barely know her. We’ve met her, what, once? And she was hardly very talkative.”

“That doesn’t matter,” Shou replied, becoming more desperate. “If she’s managed to work her way to freedom, I’d say that earns her some congratulations from anyone.”

Nazrin had crossed her arms, looking out into the crowd at no-one in particular. This was her way of saying she didn’t agree with Shou, but she knew full well that when the tiger got an idea into her mind there was no reasoning her out of it. In short, she was telling her ‘I don’t think this is a good idea, but I know better than to stop you.”

After a few seconds without a response, Shou decided that she’d won the argument. She turned to Byakuren, who was still hauling around the tanks that needed to be refilled.

“You two mind heading to the shop to take care of maintenance? She’ll give you the discount if you tell her you’re with us.”

The tiger handed over the bag of coins to Ichirin, keeping two or three for herself so she could buy a few drinks. Ichirin nodded, clamping her hand around the bag and hanging close to Byakuren.

“We’ll see you back at the boat this evening, then?” Byakuren asked.

“Sure, assuming Shou’s sober enough to walk,” Nazrin replied, looking snidely in Shou’s direction.

“Hey, he didn’t tell me it was alcoholic...”

With that, the group went their separate ways: Shou and Nazrin to the Cephalic Mist in the western district, and Byakuren and Ichirin to the dive shop in the eastern district.

After they’d broken far away enough from their companions, Shou tutted to herself a little. “Poor Inubashiri. She has to celebrate by getting drunk on cucumber beer, of all things.”

“I know,” Nazrin replied. “I don’t understand what the kappa see in the stuff.”

-----

In the otherwise poorly-organised Flotsam, the Kawashiro K-Supplier was a shining ray of orderliness. Every inch of its cubic volume was used to full capacity, shelves and walls stacked with more of those doohickeys Ichirin didn’t quite understand. The owner had scientifically determined the smallest amount of space she needed to place between shelves so that she could fit as many shelves of equipment under one roof as possible without making it impossible for customers to reach.

As she found herself unable to lift her arms, Ichirin suspected the kappa had made a rounding error somewhere down the line. Unzan, being immaterial, had half-merged with the shelf to her right, looking perfectly fine with the matter. Ichirin was suddenly reminded of the time when Unzan had tried to suggest a game of hide and seek instead of rock-paper-scissors. When it became clear he was cheating and slipping through walls every time she came near, she banned the game for the next decade or so.

Some of these prices these things were going for were ridiculous. 2000 units for a camera? That was enough to feed the whole temple for a week. Maybe it was deliberately expensive because they figured it was the sort of thing their crow tengu would waste their money on. The more Ichirin thought about it, the more it made twisted financial sense.

Finally, after spending far too long cramped up, Ichirin made it to the end of the shelves, coming up to the checkout desk. Most stores in the Flotsam would have considered leaving that so far from the exit suicidal - someone could grab an expensive item and then head out the entrance without even being noticed. Kawashiro had planned for that however - no-one knew the particulars, but the words ‘missile launcher’ came to mind.

A final eye-catch was laid out just before the checkout, with a set of dummies each kitted out in a full set of gear. The K-1 was cheap nowadays, only going at 2,500 units for a set, but the prices grew dramatically with every upgrade. The K-3 that Shou and Nazrin were using now came at a hefty 20,000, and the top-of-the-range K-5 was a heartbreaking 500,000 units. Ichirin could only tell the difference between them thanks to the labels attached - physically, the equipment looked more or less identical, but the signs beneath insisted on ‘more efficient air compression’ and ‘improved reliability’. In terms Ichirin preferred, they let you dive for longer and they were less likely to get you killed.

To her side, Byakuren emerged from the central aisle. It was the largest (though only by a small margin), and when she was carrying the tanks as well she needed all the room she could get. After the pair had walked around the dummies Byakuren hauled the bags onto the unattended desk, hitting the metal surface with a loud clang.

A head popped up behind the desk.

“Oh, customers! Sorry, doing some last-minute tweaking.”

Nitori Kawashiro rose to her feet, her jumpsuit covered in a black substance that looked suspiciously like soot. Some of it had made its way onto her face as well, and she giggled as she rubbed it off, trying not to lose face in front of the customer. She was an inventor in her spare time, allegedly inventing new technologies that’d make life in this new Gensokyo even easier.

She hadn’t managed to get anywhere yet, but prospects remained optimistic. Or so she claimed.

“I swear it’s not gonna explode,” Nitori said, thinking it stop Ichirin from looking so worried. If anything, it made her feel even worse. For a few seconds there was an awkward silence, cut short when Byakuren cleared her throat.

“Ahem. We were looking to have these refilled, if you wouldn’t mind. We’re here on behalf of Shou and Nazrin, the Treasure Divers.”

Nitori’s eyebrows lifted at the sound of the names. Somewhere in the back of her head the gears started to spin, recalling a chance meeting from what must have been a year ago by now. There was an almost audible click as she finally managed to place Ichirin’s face.

“Oh, yeah. You guys are the ones who crashed your ship in the lake way back when. Damn, that was forever ago, wasn’t it?”

She started to untie the bags, hauling out the tanks within. They went down behind the desk as well, which did nothing to allay Ichirin’s fears. They couldn’t see much from this side of the desk, but they could hear Nitori fiddling with something loud, mechanical, and uncooperative. After a few loud, satisfying clicks, there were two loud hissing noises as the machine pumped more compressed air into the tanks.

Filling them up was even louder than emptying them. Ichirin hadn’t even been sure that was possible.

“So how’s life been treating you guys?” Nitori asked, making small talk while she was waiting. “I assume the girls have been keeping you fed and all. Always holding a bit of money back for you, y’know.”

There was no condescending or frustrating tone in Nitori’s voice. She genuinely did sound like she appreciated Shou and Nazrin not blowing their whole paychecks on upgrades. If there was anything good to come out of this whole disaster, it was that it had inspired Gensokyo to care more about each other - putting little rivalries aside for the greater good. It wasn’t perfect - there were still fallings out, and assholes would always be assholes, but there was less need to call upon the spellcard rules than ever.

But that camaraderie hadn’t come for free. Some said they’d never be able to make a full list of those who lost their lives in the rains, and that was before they even considered Chireiden. Thousands of youkai, all sharing a watery grave together. An entire civilisation just wiped off the map. It was a thought that even the most egotistical of youkai couldn’t consider without feeling their heart sink.

Even as Nitori spoke so caringly, Ichirin could see that pain in her eyes. It wasn’t uncommon. Everyone seemed to carry a trace of it with them. Survivor’s guilt, or something along those lines. By now most people had come to terms with it, but others still struggled. Nazrin would have probably broken down entirely if she didn’t have Shou to comfort her. In the end, she’d probably come to the same conclusion everyone else had -  there was only so long you could let it get to you. Eventually, you had to just put the pain aside and get back to living.

No matter how different life was by now.

“...You okay? Something on my face?”

Ichirin flinched, realising she’d been staring at Nitori the whole time.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry, I just spaced out,” she replied, spitting out the response as quickly as her tongue would let her. She was prone to thinking too hard about this, even now. It was a habit she was working on. Thinking too much wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t bring anyone back, and it sure as hell wouldn’t get rid of the goddamn water.

“Oh, the heat must be getting to you. You mentioned the weather earlier, didn’t you?” Byakuren responded with a laugh. She gently placed a hand on Ichirin’s shoulder, and as Ichirin turned she could see a look of silent understanding in her companion’s eyes. She knew what Ichirin had been thinking of, what she couldn’t stop coming back to. With that simple gesture, Ichirin could immediately understand the message Byakuren wanted to get across.

You’re not alone, Ichirin. Remember that.

That was enough. It took a deep breath, and a little bit of effort, but Ichirin got the thought out of her head. She had a new life to live, one with all her old friends and a friendlier society in general. Look at the positives and all that.

The hissing from beneath the desk finally ended, and Nitori hauled the tanks back into their bags. She had a lot more trouble lifting them this time around, which was a good sign in terms of  how much air was in there. She needed a minute to pack them, tie them back up, and hand them over to Byakuren again.

“Thanks. That’ll be 2,500 units, then,” Nitori said.

2,500 was, unbelievably, a discount. Normally refilling a pair of K-3 tanks would have set them back at least 3,000, but Nitori always cut a little off the price for Nazrin and Shou. “Rooting for the underdogs”, she always said. Ichirin rummaged through the coin purse, placing a handful of coins on the table.

“That should be enough,” Ichirin said with total confidence.

Nitori eyed the money, doing the numbers in her head. Satisfied, she nodded to the pair.

“Pleasure doing business, ladies.”

Ichirin and Byakuren bowed at once. Byakuren grabbed the now full bags, still showing no struggle with the weight as they started on their way out. They still had about 2,000 units left, which would sustain them for a week. Nazrin and Shou typically went for a dive at least two or three times a week, so in terms of sheer numbers they had a little spare cash.

May as well pop the question now, then.

“Say, Byakuren...how much do you think a deck of cards would cost?”

-----

The Cephalic Mist was one of Gensokyo’s last remaining bars. The human village managed to produce rice on the seabed with magical assistance, but it was used primarily for food rather than alcohol. In most countries, this would have been a shortage that the community struggled through but ultimately overcame.

Not the case with Gensokyo. Alcohol was the glue that kept otherwise hostile races friendly. Everyone forgot to be racist when they were plastered, and it wasn’t uncommon to see tengu singing karaoke alongside humans, or other sights you’d never see when they were sober. There needed to be a replacement, and as usual the kappa had an answer.

The rest of Gensokyo wasn’t keen on cucumber beer. Its taste could be described as ‘watery’ at best, and its alcohol content wasn’t ridiculous to make up for it. Still, it was all that was on offer, and more importantly it was cheap - sake did come up from the human village on occasion, but it was too expensive for anyone but the tengu to afford. Thus, in the last few months, cucumber beer had become a new habit for most of Gensokyo’s residents.

Shou and Nazrin had never picked it up. They were amiable enough without alcohol, and besides that the tiger was already clumsy enough when she was sober. She’d been drunk once, by accident, and the damages the temple needed to pay off cut into their dinner portions for about a month. She’d been restricted to glasses of water ever since.

As the pair entered, they were greeted with the faint smell of cucumber and the sound of frivolity. Patrons laughed at jokes that weren’t funny, hands crept close to inappropriate areas, and old folk songs were shouted across the room whenever the band of poltergeists started playing. It was cheerful, and more importantly it did a good job of keeping people’s thoughts away from ideas that’d make them feel bad.

Shou didn’t have to look very hard to find Momiji. She was sitting right at the bar, a glass of beer still half-full in her hand. She wore a white short-sleeved shirt with matching shorts, and a pendant hung around her neck weighted by some sort of tooth. A pocky stick hung out of her mouth - one of those new snacks the kappa had invented, a biscuit covered in chocolate. From the mildly pleasant look on her face, Shou assumed it tasted good. Her red eyes were eyeing the clock intently - presumably a learned instinct from her time on duty.

In general, though, her stance seemed rigid, unnatural. She wasn’t relaxed, perhaps the only patron in the bar who wasn’t completely at ease. That must have been her first drink, Shou thought to herself. Was celebration really that unnatural for her?

The door to the bathroom opened, a loud call interrupting Shou’s train of thought.

“Momiiiiii~, I’m hoooooome~.”

A youkai that Shou didn’t recognise stumbled out of the bathroom, bumping into every patron physically possible on the way over. The dim lighting stopped the tiger from seeing her in detail until she’d made it to the bar, clinging to the wooden surface to keep herself upright. What must have once been a well-cropped set of hair was sagging on all sides, covering one of her jet-black eyes.

“’Ey, Momi,” the youkai slurred. “‘Zat your first drink? Yer sloooooooow.”

She was tanned too, the tiger noted. Everyone had earned a little bit of a tan in this weather, but this girl took it a dozen steps further, her skin coffee-brown. She’d never seen anyone with that shade of skin, before or after the Moriya incident.

But strangest of all was her choice of clothing. She seemed to be dressed in a wetsuit, which was strange in and of itself - Shou had never seen one worn in public before. It was silver, with a white stripe running down its centre. Stranger still was that she had some sort of breathing apparatus on her as well - there was a collar on her neck, seemingly pumping water, and a small pipe ran out of it to end in a mouthpiece. She couldn’t tell where it ended, and it was possible the machine ran on down her back as well. For a second, Shou started at the contraption, trying to understand what purpose it served. Who would want diving gear that let you breathe water?

When the girl turned and Shou caught sight of the large, jagged fin on her back, she ended up answering her own question.

So this is the shark youkai Inubashiri goes diving with...

The shark stumbled onto the seat beside Momiji, laughing to herself at a joke no-one else heard. The white wolf looked at her partner, sighing as she took the pocky out of her mouth and dropped it in the glass.

“Jozu, this is why I didn’t want you to order the pitcher. How many fingers am I holding up?”

She raised her hand, holding up three fingers. The shark, Jozu, squinted at the hand, muttering to herself, using her own webbed hands as reference. When she started using her second hand, Momiji decided that the point had been proven.

“You’re drunk, Jozu.”

“’N’ what’s wrong wi’ that? This is yer speshul day ‘n’ stuff. Makes sense we oughta cellarbrate.”

The wolf looked unconvinced, still as awkward as before. Shou watched the entire conversation unfold from a distance, wincing at every move from both parties.

“Someone needs to bail her out,” Nazrin said, speaking up from Shou’s side. Shou nodded in response, and the pair made their way up to the bar, trying their best to fit in despite being sober. Shou was the first to reach Momiji, slapping a hand on her shoulder.

“Heard the good news, Inubashiri. Congrats!”

The wolf visibly flinched when Shou’s hand touched her, and for an instant her eyes registered shock as she turned around. When it became clear she was being congratulated, though, her nerves started to dissipate a little, though she was still clearly uncomfortable. She glanced curiously at Shou, trying to place the face and failing.

“...Sorry, have we met?”

“Oh, sorry, you must not remember,” Shou said, holding her other hand out for Momiji to shake. “I’m Shou Toramaru. Treasure Diver? We ran into your ship a few weeks back on the way out for a dive.”

Momiji continued to examine Shou’s face, and the tiger could practically hear the gears in her head turning. The face wasn’t getting results, but the name was triggering something. Finally, after maybe ten seconds of silence, the wolf managed to place it.

“Ah, the team from Myouren’s Ark? And here I was thinking you and your mouse friend were an urban myth.”

“It’s hard to believe, I know,” Nazrin said, interrupting. “I find it hard to believe a girl like Shou can survive an occupation so dangerous, but-”

“Hey!” Shou turned back to the mouse, who was currently grinning at her expense. Shou responded with a childish pout, and for a few seconds they forgot everything else to take part in a stare-off.

“D’awww, they’re so cute’n’all. Pretendin’ to be mad. I can see it, the love’n their eyes...”

Jozu’s drunken rambling was painfully accurate, and both of the girls in question looked to her in shock. It was hard to determine which of them was blushing harder, but they responded to the remark by jumping onto the closest seats in the bar and ordering glasses of ice-cold water. Something that’d cool them down, anything.

Momiji allowed herself a smirk at that. The pair were totally unprofessional, but charming in their own quirky way. It probably helped that Shou passed her a few coins soon afterward.

“Get yourself another drink. Your friend’s right - you should be celebrating for real.”

That part had been spoken with honesty, with a sound of genuine congratulations. What Shou said next wasn’t quite so altruistic.

“And you could get your shark friend something to eat, too. Y’know, so she doesn’t say anything awkward again...”

-----

They spent a while talking about small things. Most of it was Shou asking Momiji about her work as a Treasure Diver, and in particular how she ended up working with a shark youkai. Momiji explained that they’d met well before any of the rain nonsense, actually, and that things had just turned out conveniently.

“Wasn’t my idea to start diving either,” she continued, letting the words flow freely now that she’d started. “Shameimaru proposed it, and I agreed. In the old days she’d just threaten me with panty shots, but she threw those out after things changed. Something about how most outfits today were so provocative that panty shots didn’t mean anything any more.”

She’d taken a few drinks, and she was starting to get into the drinking mood. Jozu was munching down on a bowl of fresh fish beside her, silenced by her dinner - much to the relief of Shou and Nazrin.

“It was good work with Shameimaru. She had contacts, and she caught rumours fast. Just always got to me that she was taking more outta this job than I was when it was me who was trying my best not to drown every other day. I saved up for a while, kept a little after every job, and when I managed to afford my own equipment I told Shameimaru I was gonna be a freelancer now.”

She sounded proud of herself, taking a large swig of her beer as she finished her monologue. She winced, scrunching up her lips and regretting that decision. This stuff was awful.

Shou nodded along, listening to Momiji’s stories of the trouble she’d run into. The time she’d had to use a paper bag as an emergency air supply when her equipment failed. The time she got trapped in a rockslide and needed to be dug out by Jozu against the clock. The time she had to fend off another team of Treasure Divers when they both went for the same spot. It wasn’t clear how much of her stories was truth and how much was fiction, but what mattered to Shou was that the wolf was definitely having fun now.

“So, what’re you gonna do now?” Shou asked. “Got any plans for the future?”

Momiji paused, looking off to the distance, thinking the question over. “Well, I’m probably just gonna stick to the usual. I figure I’ve made a name for myself in this job, so I should still be able to keep myself fed. And if I land the Chireiden job, then-”

“Wait,” Nazrin said, cutting Momiji short. “Chireiden job?”

Momiji looked at the pair, befuddled. “Y’know, how the kappa society wants a Treasure Diver team to go excavate the underground.”

Shou and Nazrin looked at each other for a moment, wearing matching expressions of shock. It was a few seconds before Momiji reacted as well.

“...Oh wait, I wasn’t meant to tell anyone about that. Dammit, the drink’s getting to me...”

She placed her head on the counter, muttering to herself. Beside her, Jozu pulled an arm over and gave the wolf an over-excited hug.

“Momiiii~, why’re you sleepin’? ‘Snot bedtime yet!”

She gave Momiji a little shuffle, convincing her to stand up again. By now Shou and Nazrin had recovered from their initial surprise, and the mouse took advantage of the opportunity.

“You’ve started talking,” Nazrin said. “You may as well go all the way now.”

Momiji didn’t seem sure about that at first, but the alcohol worked away what was left of her uncertainty. She shrugged.

“Eh, sure. Worst case scenario, it’s public knowledge. A job’s a job, right?”

She laid out the plan the kappa authorities had set out for the mission. Apparently they’d been interested in sending a team into Chireiden for months, but the diving technology wasn’t up to scratch until the K-5. They were hoping to get a ton of interested applicants, especially since the reward for this mission was set to be five million units, but the main issue was that no-one could actually afford the equipment they’d need to make it that far down.

“So from what I’ve heard, the job’s going to the first team that can afford a K-5. ‘Course, that gives me a headstart above the rest because I only need one.” Momiji motioned to her companion, still guzzling down her meal like a true predator. Every so often the girl got over-excited, growing short of breath and clutching at the mouthpiece around her neck for an extra burst of water. The machine kept her breathing when she wasn’t too excited or rushed, it seemed - if she pushed too hard, she needed to breathe from the mouthpiece to recover.

Still more convenient than the other way around.

Shou and Nazrin looked at one another. The tiger’s eyes were full of hope, thinking about that hefty sum. Nazrin brought her down to earth with sheer realism, as she often did.

“Shou, forget it. We have enough trouble putting food on the table. Where exactly are we expected to find the million units we’d need to buy a pair of K-5s?”

Shou thought the point over, looking for some sort of answer, but nothing came to her. Her shoulders slumped, and she took a large gulp of her water in disappointment.

Momiji frowned, seeing what she’d inadvertently done to Shou. She offered the girl a pat on the shoulder, like Shou had given her earlier.

“Hey, don’t feel rough about it. No-one’s gonna be able to afford it for weeks. Not even me.”

It didn’t quite work, and Shou still seemed to be in a temper despite Momiji’s efforts. The wolf thought for a moment, eyes darting around, then finally caved in.

“OK, tell ya what. Since you came all the way out here to congratulate me, I’ll give you guys a tip for free. A job I had on the back-burner, so to speak.”

That was the key, it seemed. Shou raised her head up, eyes back to their natural curiosity. Momiji grinned, knowing she was in the presenc
« Last Edit: May 14, 2011, 01:03:01 AM by Rou You Can »

FinnKaenbyou

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Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #775 on: May 14, 2011, 01:03:35 AM »
?You can?t seriously be wanting to go through with this, can you??

Nazrin had pulled Shou aside after dinner, leading her back into her own room. The tiger had been talking about this job all throughout dinner, and it had worked away at the mouse?s nerves. Shou sat obediently on Nazrin?s bed, not entirely sure what she?d done wrong.

?I don?t think Inubashiri was lying about the job. And she?s willing to pay a ton. We could buy K-4s with that money, Nazrin.?

?Maybe, but that doesn?t stop it from being dangerous. We know Kirisame better than she does, and we know for a fact she?s a loose cannon. Who knows what sort of crazy superweapons and deathtraps she could be asking us to collect??

Again, the pair were making use of the silent language they?d made up. While Nazrin had an expression saved for ?You?re an idiot but I can?t stop you?, Shou had an expression which basically meant ?I don?t agree with you, but I can?t think of a way to prove you wrong?. It was practically custom-built to play at Nazrin?s conscience, but the mouse had built a tolerance to it over the years.

?No means no, Shou. The rest of the temple is relying on us to bring home the money. There?s no need to go for a risky job like that if safer missions will bring home money.?

That would be the end of the discussion, Nazrin thought. She?d realise she was being foolish, apologise for being reckless, and they?d kiss and make up. That was how these discussions usually went.

At least, before everything had changed.

?But how much money? How long are we going to have to live like this, worried about where the next meal?s going to come from??

The tiger stared down Nazrin with a powerful glare. Nazrin froze in place, seeing a look of pure determination in those golden eyes.

?I know how you feel, Nazrin. You?re always scared that things?ll go wrong, that we?ll stop being able to dig up scraps from someone else?s work to keep ourselves going. That?s why I think we should take this job - it?s more money than we?ve ever worked for, and it?ll make us enough to eat for weeks. Months, even.?

Shou?s eyes began to water, giving away that she wasn?t quite as severe as she wanted to be. Regardless, she fought on with her response, Nazrin standing perfectly still as she spoke.

?I want everyone to stop being afraid we?ll run out of money. I want to do a real job, something that?s actively helping someone rather than collecting a few shiny objects for the kappa. I want to look after the temple, and do what I can to keep you all safe.?

Her voice was trailing now, the emotions getting the better of her. Nazrin was trembling, her vision misting up as well.

?But most of all...I want you to stop worrying, Nazrin. It hurts me to see you so worried, so afraid. I love you, more than anything else in the world, and when you?re sad so am I. That?s why...that?s why I want to take this job. I want to do it for you.?

Shou?s face was streaming with tears now, sniffling to herself as she finished. She rubbed at her eyes, trying to look regain her composure. She laughed, but it was a sad laugh.

?Heheh...damn. I?m really bad at being serious, aren?t I? No way you?ll listen to me when I?m crying like this-?

?No.?

Nazrin cut her off as she wrapped her arms around the tiger. It was a reversal of the afternoon?s incident. Payback, so to speak.

?I?m sorry, Shou. I wasn?t thinking long-term. I just...I didn?t want anything to happen. I don?t know what I?d do if I lost you...?

Nazrin had forgotten her old vow not to cry, clinging as tightly as she could to Shou. Shou returned the gesture, and they both fell backwards onto the bed. They kissed, lips locking as their hands stroked at each other?s backs. They submitted to passion, to the love they?d built over centuries together.

When was the last time they had embraced like this? It had never felt right. It was always too bleak, too dark, too soon since the disaster that had ended thousands of lives. They?d been a little distant, a little too far away.

They?d been going at it from the wrong angle entirely, Shou thought to herself. Disaster wasn?t a reason to fall apart. It was a reason to come together, to treasure what you still had. They shouldn?t have been sidestepping these moments of adoration, they should have been savouring them.

Their embrace lasted a few minutes this time, until finally Nazrin rolled over to the side. She held Shou?s hand tightly, looking at her with a deadly-serious look in her eyes.

?You?ve got to promise me. If we take this mission, there is no way you?re letting anything bad happen to you. Understand??

Shou nodded, squeezing Nazrin?s hand in return.

?Sure thing. And when have I ever let you down on a promise??

Nazrin had to smile at that eagerness, that brightness. This was the woman she?d fallen in love with all those years ago, untouched by the catastrophe surrounding her, still as pure and brilliant as Nazrin remembered.

?...Alright then,? Nazrin said, finally conceding. ?We?ll make arrangements to visit the human village in the morning. For now, I say we get some rest like good little girls.?

?Got it.?

Shou stood up, giving Nazrin another peck on the cheek on the way out. She had opened the door when Nazrin called out.

?Shou.?

The tiger turned back, seeing Nazrin happier than she could remember her ever being in recent months.

?I love you too.?

Shou grinned as much as her lips would allow her.

?I know, Nazrin. I know.?

-----

I broke the post limit. God damn.

Kips McKipzerson

  • I never did learn
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #776 on: May 14, 2011, 01:56:42 AM »
I broke the post limit. God damn.
And for damn good reason too. That was just stunning. It's a pretty unique tale, as to how Gensokyo flooded due to a faith overload, and how everyones making the best of it even though its shitty; reminds me of Bioshock really. The fact that everything's so expensive and theres only oh so much things to find in the deep, bleak ocean only makes the story more touching. Nazrin and Shou becoming closer after such a disaster like this, and figuring out what they're going to do with themselves brought tears to my eyes. Good work as always Rou.

Also was that shark from somewhere because I remember a fic from somewhere with Momiji finding a shark-youkai in a lake and becoming friends with her.

Cystral Dragon

  • [Prince of Nothing]
  • Hey you noticed me!
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #777 on: May 14, 2011, 02:03:24 AM »
Just saying but it's nice that you actually included Ichirin... She does tend to be a bit overshadowed doesn't she?
Well I should've made it Prince of Void.

Phlegeth

  • DPS LFG
  • Time expired: 121:45
Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #778 on: May 14, 2011, 03:56:55 AM »
?That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes--?

?Stop singing that song!?

The universe a really large place.  A galaxy is also very large, but not as large as the universe.  And by comparison star systems are even smaller.  On one star system there is a little blue planet, that seemed even bluer than normal.  Well, that's because there was a great flood that wiped most of the population out.  Those that survived fled to the mountain tops and try to eek out a living.  It has only been five hundred years since the flood, but for the people on that planet five hundred years is a really long time.    Things have settled down and they naturally became curious as to why the blue planet was suddenly very blue.  They launched a lot of ships and went diving and to their surprise all they found were a bunch of soggy five hundred year old relics.  But they still search hoping to find out anything.

Back to the original point of the universe being big.  It's so big that one would assume it to be preposterous for just one being to be the center of it all.  But on this really blue planet there exists a person who does believe there's only one person at the center of the universe and even more so, she believes she is the center of the universe.  And what is the name of this person, who is presently setting in a dingy, in the middle of the ocean, with the word ?Hippopotamus? sloppily written on the side, her name is,

?MARISA!? a young girl with wavy blond hair yelled at her partner.  For two young girls to set out on a journey to discover what happened to the world in just a dingy, they'd have to be complete idiots.  That's half right, one of them is a complete idiot, but she also thinks she's the center of a very large universe so that shouldn't be a surprise.  One of them is an idiot, the other one was lied to.  ?I feel I was denied critical need to know information,? the one who was lied to hissed.

?Huh?? she turned around with a quizzical look on her face, ?what are you going on about??

?You said you had a boat!?

Marisa looked around with a confused look on her face, ?But, Alice, we're in a boat.?

?This two-by-four is an insult to the ocean we're sailing on!  I'm surprised the Goddess of the Ocean doesn't just come down and smite us right out of the water!?

?You seem tense.?

?Tense?  Tense!  We've been a drift for three hours and I'm beginning to suspect this...this piece of drift wood is the boat you said you had!?

?What more do you need?  The Hippopotamus is the best boat!?  For some reason, Marisa felt compelled to spring to the defense of her boat.

?This is far from the best boat,? Alice scoffed.

A pillar of water suddenly rose out beside them.  ?Wh, what the hell is that??  Marisa yelled in shock and pointed at it.

?I dare say that would be the Goddess of the Ocean come down to smite us.?

The water started falling off around the top revealing a strange creature that appeared to be covered in bark.  It was triangle shaped and stood over six feet tall.  It had fins protruding out the sides and an eye on each side near the front bottom angle.  The eye facing the girls was glaring at them.

?Whew,? Marisa let out a sigh of relief, ?it's just an ayakashi.?  Ayakashi are terrible creatures from the oceans depths.  No one is for certain where they came from.  A good way to start an argument is stating for a fact whether the flood came first or the ayakashi.  There would be a comparison between them and chickens and eggs if the last chicken wasn't eaten by an ayakashi over two hundred years ago.

?No, no, this is much worse.  Goddesses can be reasoned with, Ayakashi's not so much!? Alice yelled and started scrambling around the boat.

?Don't worry,? Marisa said and rested one of her feet on the side of the boat.  She looked over and gave a confident smile to Alice, ?I've got this.?  That smile had a lot of pull over a lot people.  With her smile she could talk almost anyone into doing what she wanted.  It was a smile that belonged to someone who knew they were right, whether they were actually correct or not.  That smile was one of the reasons Alice was on the boat in the first place.

?What's the plan,? Alice calmed down and looked at Marisa for guidance.  It has already been established that Marisa is an idiot.  But there are varying degrees of idiocracy and Marisa's lack of common sense and big picture planning as bred itself into a certain type of genius type of ingenuity.  Given enough resources she can accomplish almost anything.

?I'm going to punch really, really hard,? But of course, on a dingy in the middle of the ocean, there are no resources.  Marisa pushed off with the foot on the side of the boat and flew at towards the ayakashi.  She pulled back her fist and swung wildly at it, connecting with the side.  She fell down into the water and the giant staggered for a moment.  She popped on the surface of the water and started swimming back to the boat.

The ayakashi swooped down level behind Marisa and the boat.  The ayakashi opened it's mouth wide and Alice started screaming and pointing at it.  Before Marisa could turn around; she, Alice, and The Hippopotamus were engulfed in a strong light fired from the ayakashi's mouth.

* * *

Moriya Island is a peculiar place.  In the five hundred since the flood, it transformed from a simple shrine on top of a mountain to the central hub of the new world.  At the center of the island is Yasaka Manor, home to the most powerful person on the island and may as well be in the whole world.  And why the most important person on Moriya Island is not Moriya, well that's a long story of back and forth between the two and at the end of round one Yasaka had the upper hand.  And she's has a powerful lead going into round two.

There is a city on the north side of the island.  It contains the biggest port in the world so the city is of course named Port City.  But to avoid confusion, the port is not called Port City Port, but Minamitsu Port after Captain Minamitsu who was the first to land at the island.  And we know this because she wrote the word, ?First? on a rock and signed it.

In the city is the Scarlet Guild Hall.  Every time a new island or dungeon is discovered, they're the first to know.  All would be adventurers must check in with them.  It is headed by Remilia Scarlet, a charismatic if a bit precocious lass.  And of course, these services come at a price.

For those who can't afford the Guild, there's always the Even Drink Tavern on the southern end of the island.  It attracts all the wrong sorts of characters and the information is all second hand.  The patrons and information aside, the drinks there are all top notch.  And the view over looking the ocean is to die for.  There's all sorts of weird things always washing up on shore.

?Bwaaaah!? a figure shot out of the water and shook her head.  She looked around her feet and reached down and grabbed something.  She pulled out another woman.

She suddenly snapped awake and started flailing around and coughing.  After  a few moments she looked around and saw her friend smiling above her.  ?Marisa?  What is it??

?Land ho!? she yelled and pointed at shore.  She turned to see what Marisa was pointing at.  There were kids running around on the beach and a few adults shielding their children's' eyes from the two girls.

?Wait, what?  We're back where we started!? Alice yelled.

?Hmm,? Marisa said looking around.  ?Rats.?  She said and started walking for the shore.

?Wait for me!?  Alice yelled and chased after her.

* * *

?Take it back!? a patron of the Even Drink Tavern yelled.  She was dressed in red with white detached sleeves and a red ribbon.  She was yelling at a very tall muscular woman in a blue dress and white shirt with a large red horn.

?Make me,? the tall woman smirked.

?Stop it, Reimu!? a girl wearing green with white detached sleeves and a frog hair band in her hair yelled.

?Listen to your friend, lass, wouldn't want ta break that pretty little face of yours,? she grabbed Reimu by the cheeks and shook her head before pushed her face away.

?Yuugi, settle down.  Don't make me call the cops,? the little bar maiden said, she had twin tails and was wearing a baseball cap, ?again.?

?Now, now Nitori.  You won't have to call the cops.  As long as this one knows her place,? Yuugi scowled at Reimu.  ?It's your fault ya know, jus lookin at ya face pisses me off!?

?Yuugi, you're drunk.  Go home,? Nitori said.

?Jus one thing,? Yuugi held up a finger and took a step toward Reimu.  And then another and on the third step she twisted around quickly and kicked Reimu with full force and sent her flying through the wall.

Marisa and Alice were walking up towards the bar at the moment and saw Reimu come flying out.  ?Huh,? Marisa said at the spectacle, ?not everyday you see a flying shrine maiden.?

?REIMUUUUUU!? the other one came running out of the bar and after her friend.

Marisa and Alice reached the front door and saw Yuugi being dragged out by a couple of  police officers, she grinned at Marisa and gave a thumbs up, ?Worth it.?

?What was that about?? Alice asked.

Nitori sighed and shook her head, ?Apparently there's this new ruin discovered that caused a lot of ruckus.  Don't know myself, go ask down at Scarlet.?

?Not a bad idea, I need a new boat,? Marisa said and started walking down the street.

* * *

At the Scarlet Guild Hall, everything was in chaos over this new ruin.

?If I ever find out who leaked this ruin, I'll have their head on a spike!? Remilia yelled.

?Of course, milady.  I'll polish the Gungnir for you,? her loyal servant Sakuya said with out a hint of sarcasm.

Remilia let out a deep sigh, ?It's things like that, that make me worry.?

?Yo!  REMILIA!? a shout came across the hall.

?Oh, I feel a head ache coming on,? Remilia said grabbed her fore head.

?I'll get the aspirin,? Sakuya said and Remilia saw Marisa running towards her.

?Make it quick,? she said to Sakuya and she nodded and disappeared.  Remilia turned her attention towards Marisa.  ?Now you, make it quick.?

?I need a new boat,? she said grinning ear to ear.

?What happened to the first one, the Hip hop at amus or whatever,? Remilia was not amused.

?It broke,? Marisa said bluntly.

?Then fix it,? Remilia shooed her away.

?Hey, what's the deal with that new ruin?? Marisa asked.

?That is of no concern of people with out a boat,? Remilia said and shooed her away again.

?Ah screw it, I'll ask Aya later,? Marisa shrugged and walked off.

?Aya!? Remilia jerked straight up.  ?Of course it was her!?

* * *

Out side the Guild Hall, Alice was waiting on her friend.  ?So now what?? she asked.

?One moment,? Marisa held up a finger and followed something from the corner of her eye.  Reimu was arguing with someone again.

?It's not true!? she yelled and ran off with Sanae following quickly behind.

?What was that about?? Marisa asked, watching Reimu run off.

?Have you two ever heard of Gensokyo?? the person Reimu was arguing with chimed in.

Marisa turned around, ?Aya, just the person I was looking for.?

?Wait, I know what you want to ask and it ties into Gensokyo,? Aya nodded.

?That fairy tale?? Alice asked.

?It might not be such a fantasy after all,? Aya said.  ?Some explorers finally made it back from Yakumo Island.?

?What?? Marisa yelled.

?Well, I guess you know how Yakumo Island is notorious for being a dead end for explorers.  And that every young explorer wanting to prove their worth heads there and are never heard from again??

?Or course,? Marisa and Alice nodded.

?Well, have you heard of the veteran explorer team: Twilight Buster?? Aya asked.

?Of course, everyone's heard of them!? Marisa yelled excitedly.  ?They set out for Yakumo Island awhile ago right??

?They've returned and broke back an interesting artifact,? Aya produced a photo.  It showed a shrine deep under ground.  A shrine they've seen pictures of many times, but never an actual photograph.

?Hakurei,? Marisa read.  ?So that means...?

?If the shrine is real, then Gensokyo...? Alice continued.

?If Gensokyo really did exist at one point then that means the barrier collapsed,? Aya continued.

?Hakurei,? Marisa repeated.

?Some where along the line, one of her ancestors must have dropped the ball.  I wouldn't go as far to say the flood was her fault, but she couldn't have hurt,? Aya crossed her arms and nodded.

Marisa took the photo and started walking towards Yasaka Manor.

?He, hey!  Where are you going??  Aya yelled.

?I need a loan for a boat,? Marisa said without turning around.

* * *

The head of the Yasaka Manor, Kanako, is famous world wide as an altruist and all around supporter for new explorers trying to get their foot in the door.  ?No, I can't give you a loan,? she told Marisa and Alice, however she is not idiot.

?Aw, come on!? Marisa pleaded.

?Now, girls listen.  Just because one group managed to make it back from Yakumo Island, it doesn't mean you will.  Those are the three best explorers around and they barely made it back by the skin of there knees.  I can't trust two girls who wrecked a dingy with a ship, now can I??

?Yes,? Marisa answered.

?That was rhetorical,? Kanako sighed.  ?If you won't listen to me, those three are back there.  Maybe they can talk some since into you.?  She pointed to a door in the back of the house.

Marisa and Alice walked into the room.  There they saw three beds with the explorers in them.  ?They're asleep,? Marisa said.  ?We should leave.?

?What?? Alice said suddenly.  ?Since when are you courteous??

?You could say I'm awe-struck,? Marisa shrugged.  A smile spread across Alice's face and she left with Marisa.

Outside the manor, ?Hey let's pay a visit to jail,? Marisa said suddenly.

?What?  Why??  Alice asked.

?We might need some muscle later,? she answered.  Alice stopped and grabbed Marisa by the shoulders and twirled her around so they were face to face.

?What did you do??

?I maybe, might have stole something,? Marisa was avoiding eye contact.

?WHAT!?? Alice yelled.

?You'll find out soon enough,? Marisa broke free and ran to the jail.

?Crap, crap, crap, crap,? Alice kept repeating to herself as she chased after Marisa.

* * *

As they approached the jail, the sun was starting to set.  Marisa and Alice stood outside looking up.  ?Are we really doing this??  Alice asked.

?Yes,? Marisa answered bluntly.  She reached into the bag she found in the Twilight Buster's room.  ?What do we have here,? she pulled out a small wooden octagon.  ?The Mini-Hakkero,? Marisa stared at the thing in her hand.  ?I've always wanted one of these!?  She pointed it at the jail.

?Wait a minute!? Alice yelled and grabbed her wrist.  ?What about all the other criminals!?

?What other criminals?? Marisa asked.  All and all, Moriya Island is a peaceful place.  At most people get arrested for small things like being drunk in public.  Like the person they're going to ?rescue.?

?LASER GO!? Marisa yelled, pointing the Mini-Hakkero at the jail and closing her eyes.  She opened one eye and looked at the jail.  ?Huh?  It's not exploded??

?AYAYAYAYAYA!? a scream came from above them and Aya dropped out of the sky.

?What's going on?? Marisa asked.

?Remilia and her maid's gone crazy!  They wanna kill me!?

?Why come to us?? Alice asked.

?I figured since you stole from Twilight Buster, you've got a plan up your sleeve,? Aya said.

?How do you know that?? Alice asked.  ?She just did that!?

?Everyone knows!?  Aya yelled.  ?Yuuka's especially mad!?

?Terrific,? Alice groaned.  ?And we don't even know how to use the damn thing!?

?Well, we don't need to,? Marisa stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled.  ?YO YUUGI!  WE NEED YOU OUT HERE!?  She yelled at the jail.

Almost instantly, the wall between them fell and Yuugi walked out of the rubble.  ?Yo,? she threw her arm up.  ?What's up?? she said nonchalantly.

?You're going to help us steal a boat,? Marisa said.

?Killer,? Yuugi nodded.

?Oh man, I can't believe this!  Why did I come?? Aya said.

?Heh,? Alice smirked, ?in a few hours you're going to be asking why am I still following.?

* * *

The sun had set on the island.  At the north side, everyone had gathered.  ?Gonna get her, gonna get her!? Remilia was pacing around.

?Milady, please calm down,? Sakuya tried to calm Remilia down.

?Yea, calm down.  I have dibs on that damn thief!? Yuuka yelled and pounded her fist into her palm.

?You can have her, I just want that bird!? Remilia said and the two looked at each other and started laughing.

Shinki, the leader of the Twilight Busters just sighed and shook her head.  ?Mima?  What do you think??

?I think we should have never gone Yakumo Island,? she said.  ?Never want to see that place again.?

A young girl with short black hair and a sailor's outfit came running up to the mob.  ?There's only one boat gone,? she reported.  ?It belongs to the Great Barrier Team, consisting of Reimu Hakurei and Sanae Kochiya.?

?Sanae!? Kanako yelled.  ?Where were they headed??

?Three guesses,? Yuuka said.

?I'm going after them!? Kanako yelled and headed down to the port.

?Come on!? Shinki yelled and motioned for her team to follow.  ?We're going too!?

?We can't,? Mima said.

?What?? Shinki turned around to face her.

?Hey, Yuuka?? Mima asked.  ?By chance was the key to our ship in that bag the thief took??

?WHAT?? Shinki and Yuuka both yelled and turned to the port and watched their ship head off in the distance.

?Come on!? Kanako yelled, ?We can take my ship!?

?Heh, a navel battle!? Remilia said.  ?Come on, Sakuya.  To our ship!?

* * *

Yakumo Island was a couple hours distance from Moriya Island by a normal ship.  The Twilight Buster, which has had it's name scratched of and replaced with Hippopotamus JR, was the fastest ship in the world and they reached it in under an hour.  They dropped anchor and jumped into a dingy and rowed to shore.  At the beach, they saw the newly wrecked remains of the Great Barrier.

?Stay close,? Marisa motioned for them to follow.  The crossed the beach, this island was different from the other.  There were what appeared to be old houses over grown in vines and other foliage.  ?I don't think anything human like lives here,? Marisa said.  ?Not even a cat, or dog, or even a fox.?

?What a weird thing to say,? Yuugi said.

They traveled across the island until they came upon a house with nothing covering it, ?this has been anti-climatic,? Yuugi sighed.

?Would you whether us get eaten by some giant Ayakashi?? Aya asked.

?What's a stomache, but squishy jail?? Yuugi laughed.

?Ayayaya,? Aya moaned.

?Come on,? Marisa said from somewhere inside the building.

?You've really got to stop wondering off on your own,? Alice said going after her.

They all went inside, there were stairs in the back.  It was pitch black down, ?I can't see,? Marisa complained.

?Use that thingie,? Yuugi said.

?That thingie?? Marisa repeated and dug through her bag, ?Ah ha,? she pulled at the Mini-Hakkero and everything lit up.  ?It's producing light!?

As they reached the bottom of the step, another light appeared.  Alice put her finger to her lip to single to be quiet.  Too bad Yuugi thought it meant clear the last few steps in a single jump and yell at whatever was producing the light.

?God damn it, Yuugi!? Alice yelled and they ran after her and saw Reimu and Sanae at the bottom.

?Why are you here?? Reimu asked.

?Curiosity,? Marisa shrugged.  ?Why are you here??

?I wanted to know if it was true.  If it was all my fault,? she looked at Aya and Yuugi when she said that.

?Heh, you're fault?? a voice from the darkness interupted.  A tall, well-endowed blond woman stepped into view.  It wasn't casual either, one moment she was just there.  She looked at the group, ?Kirisame and Hakurei, what kind of cruel trick...? she started and shook her head.

?Is that an enemy, should I shout it?? Marisa whispered to Alice.

?A Kirisame all right,? the blonde woman sighed.

?Hey, hurry up and spirit them away already, it's bad enough those three got away,? someone shouted from behind the blonde woman.

?Wait, come see who it is,? she motioned and another tall well-endowed woman but with pink wavy hair came into view.

?No way,? she gasped.

?I was thinking,? the blonde woman said and grinning, ?it's about time for things to start getting interesting.?

?It has been boring for way too long,? the pink haired woman sighed.

The blonde woman smiled at the group, ?Can you do it??  She asked before laughing and the two disappeared into the darkness.

?What the hell was that?? Marisa asked.  Suddenly everything lit up.  They were in front of the shrine from the pictures.  Reimu took a step forward but was pushed back by an unknown force.

?Ah, ah, ahhh,? a voice spoke out.  ?Even if it is your shrine, I can't have you entering it.?  Everything flashed again and for a moment they were surrounded by an inky darkness that felt like it was watching them and then they were back on the Hippopotamus JR.

?What?? Marisa said, scratching her head.

?Umm...we've got company,? Alice said pointing out over the horizon.  Kanako's and Remilia's ship was heading for them.

?Yeah, probably a bad time to mention this, buuuuut, we stole this boat and some other things from Twilight Buster,? Reimu and Sanae gave them an exasperated look, ?also we broke Yuugi out of jail.?

?Yo,? Yuugi said and threw up her arm.

?What do we do?? Reimu said looking around.

A look of clarity crossed Marisa's face and she looked down at the Mini-Hakkero, ?I think I know how to use this.?

?Huh,? Reimu said and reached into her pockets and pulled out a Yin Yang Orb, ?where did this come from??

Reimu and Marisa looked at each and grinned.  ?Let's get them!?  they yelled in unison.

Aya took out a camera and took a picture.  Reimu looked at her, ?Aya.?

?I thought I'd take a commemorative photo of our last stand.?

?It's been a bad day.  Please don't take a picture.?

Re: Weekly Writing Challenge! - Post-Apocalyptic Setting
« Reply #779 on: May 14, 2011, 03:59:52 AM »
Really love those opening paragraphs, Sankako. Very Douglas Adams-esque.