Fresh Faces in the Kaleidoscope (Completed!) (+Epilogue)

~Hakurei Shrine~ > Kosuzu's Grand Bookstore

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Esifex:
OH SHIT THERES MORE

Now playing ? ?Sleeper of a Thousand Years?. I thought it?d be appropriate, since we were eating at Yukari?s table. It made a good backdrop for the conversation, and showed off how incredibly awesome my cellphones? speaker is.

From what I remembered of Gensokyo, I had assumed everything would be Japanese-themed, including dinner. Not so, in Yukari?s place. Tonight on the menu was ? of all things ? spaghetti.

?So he?s a mechanic, right ? knows his way in and out of an engine. Of course, he thinks like one, too. So when his truck stopped working, he assumed it was a mechanical issue.?

I hadn?t had the opportunity to pick up any interesting stories since being dropped in Gensokyo, so I was telling one from work. Koishi was hanging on every word, too distracted to eat properly (or cleanly; girl needs a bib ? or to wipe her mouth) while Yukari was just watching, chin propped up on her knuckles with a charmed smile on her face.

?He?s tinkering and tinkering with it, doing everything he can to figure out why it just won?t start. Checked the throttle-body, air filter, spark plug cables, distributor caps, fuel-pump relay fuse, and the fuel-pump itself? nothing seems out of place. Well, the relay was a little rusted, he said. So he assumes that?s the issue. He gets a new fuse, swaps it out, and tries to start it up. Nothing happens! He opens the throttle-body assembly, and says ?I?m gonna try to see if I can?t get it to flare-start.? I have no clue what a ?flare-start? is ? apparently it?s some redneck method of starting your engine. What it involves is dumping straight gasoline into the throttle body and trying to turn the engine over ? which is a bad idea, because that makes the fumes that are now building up in the throttle body ignite.?

Now that I think back on it, I?m surprised I didn?t lose my eyebrows, too.

?Sure enough, fwoom! Big fireball right to his face. Minus one complete set of eyebrows, he concludes that flare-starting it would be a bad idea because leaving the throttle-body assembly open would smother the engine, even if the flare-start worked.?

I must?ve learnt more than I thought I did, working in that damn shop. Mostly my brothers? fault.

Damn, I miss him. I try to keep my momentum going for the story, rather than let my homesickness trip me up.

?So after all this, he gives up that night and agrees to let my brother tow his truck back to the shop. There, it sits for two days, while one of the other mechanics is off. When Jon gets back, he asks Johnny to let him tinker with it. He looks it over, sees all that Johnny?s tried, and climbs into the back of the truck.?

Insert dramatic pause. Actually, I just wanted some more spaghetti. Hang on.

?There, he grabs the gas can that Johnny used to dump the gasoline into the throttle-body and pours it instead into the trucks gas tank. He turns the key, and tah-dah! The truck starts right up. He drives it around to the front of the shop, right past an astonished Johnny, stops at a gas-pump, and pumps five dollars worth of gas into it for him. Comes back into the shop and thumps Johnny on the head, and says ?Alright, numbnuts. Parts and labor brings you to forty bucks, or lunch. Your call.? So for two days, Johnny had enough gas in the truck itself to start it up and get it home, but never thought that it was actually out of gas. Friggin? moron, that boy is.?

Koishi giggles and wipes her mouth (finally, slobberpuss). ?That reminds me of this one time way long ago when Utsuho was trying to cook for us, back in Chireiden.?

I wonder what Chris is up to. Hell, as much of an idiot he is, I wonder what Johnny?s up to.

?Now, this was several years back, before Utsuho consumed the Yatagaseru, so she didn?t have any notable powers??

?Mike can go screw himself.

??all of her prep work is going fine and dandy, but then she needs the flint and tinder to start the pilot lights??

I never really got myself much of a social life back home, but I did have friends. Of course, ever since landing that job at the damned oil shop and becoming an assistant manager, I had absolutely no free time to interact with anyone outside of work.

?? so she has the tinder in her hand and is looking all over for the flint, but to no avail??

Maybe Mom and Dad were doing alright. Hadn?t spoken to them in a while, either. Not even counting the time I?ve been here? Jesus, how long has it been? It?s been nearly a month since I?ve even spoken to them, and nearly three since I?d actually seen them.

?? Satori is even helping her look for it, believe it or not. And rather than just get a new set out, they insist on finding the flint for this tinder, so they wear out evenly??

?I miss Mom and Dad. I miss home. That dinky little apartment, where all I did was sleep and occasionally eat.

?? Rin gets in on the searching, too, but she?s terrible at finding anything that wasn?t once alive.?

I miss Chris. I miss home.

God, I miss home. I wanna go home. I really, really wanna go home.

??Finally, Satori finds it ? Utsuho had put it on the countertop right next to her cutting board, and laid the tinder across it, covering it up. It was never more than three inches away from the tinder the whole time!?

I didn?t do anything worth looking forward to ? just work, constantly, and try to save up some money.

But it was familiar. It was normal. It didn?t involve telepathy or imaginary armor or reality-warping demi-goddesses or ditzy psychics or paranoid neighbors or rampant misogyny.

All of Gensokyo was exciting and fantastic, but? it was too different, too alien for me to grasp. Every aspect of my previous life has been thrown out the window, then shot on its way to the ground.

Koishi was in mid-sentence of her story when Sara dropped her head onto the table with a sudden thud.

?Esifex? Are you okay?? she asked. Yukari?s head popped up off her knuckles as she blinked in surprise.

?My name is Sara, dammit,? Sara mumbled into the tabletop. Her attempt to sigh was warped by an escaping sob, and she whimpered instead.

?Sara, sorry. Are you alright? Do you want to go lie down?? Koishi rose up from her seat and wiped her mouth in one smooth motion, starting to reach out to lay a comforting hand on Sara?s back.

Before she made contact, Sara raised her arm and swatted Koishi?s hand away. ?I can feel you coming. This is driving me insane.?

Yukari sighed. ?Understandable. And while this may not be the best time to bring it up, you have to stop referring to yourself as Sara.?

Sara threw her crumbled-up napkin in Yukari?s direction, where it bounced harmlessly off her untouched bottle of sake. The Sage of the Youkai watched the balled-up napkin roll to a halt before resting her head on her hand again. ?I?m sure you want an explanation.?

?What do you think.?

Yukari motions for Koishi to sit down again before continuing. ?Gensokyo is populated by beings who rely on the belief of their existence, as well as a belief in their purpose for existing. It sounds circular, but there is a distinction. No one here shares the same name as anyone else; we can manage that by being only a handful of square miles of land, expanding skyward and deeper into the earth as it may be.

?The reason for this is? well, I?m sure you?ve heard of tales where knowing something?s true name grants a power over it? It?s similar, here, except it?s the name of something that grants it it?s own power. We already have a Sara residing in Gensokyo; as childish as this may seem to be saying, she was here first. She gets to keep her name. If you were to claim notoriety as Sara, you?d be sapping her very existence from her. You?d begin to take on her personality traits and abilities, as well ? eventually, even her appearance. Not only would the original Sara cease to exist, but also your current existence would end as you took her place. Ergo, you are not Sara. You are Esifex.?

Sara raised her head and stared at Yukari, blinking stupidly.

?How do you know this?? Koishi asked, interjecting. It was as much a surprise to her as it was to Sara.

?An old friend of mine from the human village, long ago, once suffered that very fate. She? un-existed. I looked into the causes and found out that was how the suspension of disbelief system was operating ? through the power of their names.?

?What? Who was it??

?A young girl by the name of Satsuki Rin.?

Koishi paled. ?Wait, if what you said is true? then why hasn?t Orin changed into someone else??

Yukari cocked an eyebrow at her. ?Who?? she asked, pointedly.

?O? rin? oh.?

?Rin. Yes. She no longer goes by Rin, does she? Instead, she?s taken up the moniker of ?Orin?.?

?That must?ve been sheer luck, though. She doesn?t know how closely she dodged a bullet, then,? Koishi settled in her seat, color returning to her face.

?She knows. I told her about it. That?s why she changed her name.?

?So, what happened to Satsuki Rin?? Koishi looked like she was afraid of the answer, as though she already knew what it would be.

?Still no sign of her. At this point, I reckon it?d be safe to let Orin start calling herself Rin, again ? no one is alive that knew Satsuki to generate the belief in her existence anymore.?

Sara shook her head, slowly. ?That?s ridiculous. That?s fucking ridiculous.?

Yukari didn?t look at her; instead she examined her fingernails almost casually. ?Gensokyo thrives on the ridiculous. You?ll have to get used to this, Esifex.?

Sara stood up and stepped away from the table. ?I?m sorry. I can?t do it. I can?t give up my name, along with everything else I?ve given up. I can?t fucking doing it. I just? no. ?Esifex? isn?t even a girls name, anyways.?

In the blink of an eye, she left the dining room. After a few moments hesitation, the front door could be heard opening, then closing.

Yukari sighed and stared at her untouched plate. ?I?m responsible for her presence, but you?ve befriended her. She won?t listen to me, but maybe she?ll listen to you. You don?t have to force her to give up her name, but at least tell her to stay the night. I ask this of you as a favor, Koishi.?

Koishi seemed to gaze into Yukari?s soul; so intense was the stare she pinned Yukari with as she rose from the table.

?A favor? No. This isn?t a favor, telling a lost and confused girl to take shelter from the night. It?s the right damn thing to do. We?ll discuss favors later, if necessary. For now, let?s just worry about her immediate safety. Please prepare a room for her ? I?ll make sure she comes back, even if I have to use my Third Eye.?

?She?ll detect that, you know. You risk destroying the friendship you?ve built so far with her. I don?t recommend it, but I urge you to try everything you can.?

Koishi followed in Sara?s wake, leaving Yukari alone at the table.

The affairs of humans can be so messy at times. She sighs.

Sara had stopped at the gate, and instead of passing through it, she had simply gripped the top of the fence and stood there, not focusing on anything. In the dim light, Koishi could barely make out how hunched her shoulders were. She assumed Sara was holding on with a white-knuckle grip.

?Sara? Are you okay?? she asked as she came up alongside Sara. Sure enough, the other girl was latched onto the fence with a deathgrip.

?It?s Esifex. Haven?t you heard?? Sarcasm practically dripped from her words.

?For now, it?s Sara. Come on, it?s not a good idea to be outside at night as a human. It?s unlikely, but there?s still a chance you could be attacked. Even here.?

?What, a giant owl youkai is gonna swoop down and scoop me up? I thought the birds here were more interested in writing newspapers.?

Koishi chuckled. ?No, that?s the crow tengu, and they?re more like gossipmongers than reporters. Come on.?

Sara stood up and sighed. ?You?re so eager to get me to go back in there. What?s it matter? I?m dead to my own world; I?m dead to the human village here. What?ll it matter if I?m actually dead? Why can?t I just take my chances back in my world? Why the hell? rather, who the hell gave Yukari the right to be such an omniscient moral guardian??

?She did.? Koishi snorts at the absurdity, and pats Sara?s shoulder. ?Though you?re right, I am kind of eager to get you back inside. You?re in no immediate danger out here, but you?re also not safe.?

Story of my goddamn life.

Koishi blinked in confusion. She?s broadcasting now!

?I am? ?shit.? Sara slapped the palm of her hand to her forehead. ?Now I get to learn how to turn that off.?

By reflex, Koishi blurted out, ?You could just close your ??

?I don?t HAVE a Third Eye, Koishi. A for effort and enthusiasm, B for execution.?

?Well, don?t interrupt me, dummy. I was going to say ?close your mind?, which still wouldn?t have helped you much because you haven?t been born with the instincts needed to do just that, but I can help you out. Come inside.?

Fine, fine, I?m coming.

?Seems like you can broadcast well enough, though it doesn?t look like you?re coming.?

Nur-hur you?re so funny shut up with your Freudian slip?n?slide.

Koishi giggled as she held the door open.

Esifex:
Gonna need a montaaaaage

Once again I find myself in Yukari?s house.

Two days have passed, and I?ve got to say ? it?s maddening.

I can?t hear Yukari or Koishi?s thoughts unless I focus hard on them, and then I can?t really focus on anything else ? much less remembering what they?re thinking about. Koishi makes it easier on me by deliberately broadcasting to me when she wants to talk to me. Ran and Chen, though, are a cacophony of thoughts that I just can?t shut out.

Ran hurts my head the most. She?s always doing at least twenty things in her mind at once; crazy math algorithms that go way over my head, contemplating maintenance for the estate, plotting reactions out up to several months down the road based on cause-and-effect from the here-and-now. It?s like having a professional chess master talk you through each and every possible move him and his opponent could make, then going on to list how his kids would be raised off the tournament winnings and what they?d eat for lunch if it rained on a Thursday three years from the time of the chess game. And predicting the traffic patterns for all major highways in the meantime.

Chen is a little more easygoing on my mind ? most of the time, she?s just like a normal cat. If she?s not chasing something around, that is; luckily for me, that?s not very often. Her thoughts don?t come through as distinct words, most of the time, which makes it a lot easier. If she?s lying about, waiting for a task from Ran, it?s almost like she?s napping. If she?s stalking something ? and she stalks things? a lot ? her mind starts to have an effect on me. It?s like listening to someone watch TV in another room; you can hear the dialogue, but you don?t know what they?re saying, and after a while, it drives you nuts.

Koishi seems to enjoy the torment I go through when Ran is around. She deliberately stops talking me through the mental discipline routines she?s trying to train me in whenever Ran is around, and her Third Eye just barely opens. I get the distinct feeling she?s listening in on me. Jerkface.

I?ve taken to communicating with her and Yukari solely with my telepathy. Errant thoughts are still leaking through my mind like a sieve, but when Koishi is serious about it, I learn a great deal of self-control.

Speaking of lessons? Christ. In two days alone we?ve done at least eight cumulative hours of training. I?m learning some incredible control with it, but the problem is, it?s not reliable. I can be scrying something in another room, but suddenly my focus spins out of whack and I end up mentally staring at everything from inside-out and all around and aaaaaaaaaaugh it hurts my head.

?Yukari says you?ve got more raw telepathic ability than any ?psychic extraordinaire? back in your world. It?s starting to show ? you?re clearly going to be a psyker on par with a Satori child.?

For now, you mean. No telling when this is going to stop developing. I hope it doesn?t.

?True, but a Satori child would already know how to shield all their thoughts and keep from reading everyone?s minds. Like I said before, though, they?re born with the abilities and instincts required therein. You should be very careful of yourself.?

I know. Is it dinner time yet?

?You?re a glutton. Always eating!?

It?s because I wear such heavy armor.

?Not anymore. Yukari got rid of it.?

What?! I liked that armor! It looked cool.

?It looked hostile, is how it looked. You don?t need to send a violent first-impression. The youkai here do that enough on their own; all you?d be doing by wearing it is inviting challenges.?

Meany-head. Jerkface. I want something besides Chen?s clothes to wear.

Koishi reaches over and stabs her finger into my chest. ?Maybe if you filled out some more, you could wear Ran?s kimono.?

I slap at her wrist and hook mine around hers, twisting it up and away from either of us. Through the opening, I stab my own hand into her chest.

I?d say you?ve got no room to talk, but it looks like you?ve got pleeeenty of room in that blouse!

?You two are the strangest telepaths I?ve ever seen.?

I look over at the doorway. Yukari is standing there, staring at us.

I?m holding Koishi?s hand and fondling her breast.

Aaaaaaaawkwaaaaard.

Clearly I was showing her a kung-fu technique.

?Gone horribly awry. Anyways, yes, dinnertime is rapidly approaching.?

Hmm. Guess I still need some fine-tuning, I didn?t mean for everyone to hear that.

?Or the bit after it, I?m sure. Chen thought it was pretty funny.?

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-

Koishi bursts out into laughter, and pulls herself away from my probing hand. ?What?s on the menu tonight??

Why don?t you talk to her with your telepathy like we?ve been doing for the past God-knows-how-long?

?Because you?re the only one here who can hear me. Believe it or not, Yukari cannot hear my thoughts when I?m broadcasting to you. She?s not receptive to it.?

Ooooh. Neato. Wait, I dunno why that?s neato. Whatever.

?Are you done replying to her?? Yukari asks, driving Koishi?s point home.

?A-yup. What?re we eating??

Yukari sighs and plants her hands on her hips. For being so short, she still has a commanding presence.

?Your final supper, if you don?t get things straightened up soon. This isn?t a hotel, you know.?

I do greatly appreciate your hostilit- hospitality! And your food. What?s for dinner? I wave my hand obnoxiously into the air, attention-whoring the best I can.

Yukari scoffs and walks off, not even bothering to hide the grin on her face.

Or maybe it?s an exasperated ?what the hell have I gotten myself into? expression. Either way, go me.

Dinner was German themed this time. I helped out when Yukari told me.

Kielbasa is my bitch. And no one ever tries mixing a little spicy mustard with two or three drops of vinegar, either, so I?m an outstanding kitchen alchemist.

Treating the potatoes with the lightest of butter-cinnamon glaze gives them a crunchy skin, especially when you bake them before frying them with the kielbasa. Saut? the onions in a little bit of brown sugar mixed into melted butter, let them sweat a bit, then toss them with some Worcestershire Sauce.

I?m a genius.

?This is terrible, you should never be allowed near a stove, again.?

Blasphemy! Koishi, you?re first against the wall when the revolution comes.

?It needs? refinement.?

Yukari just doesn?t know good food when she sees it.

You?ve gotta be kidding me, everyone in my family loves that recipe.

?Well, I actually like it. Looks like Chen does, too.? Ran gestures at her familiar, who is currently doing everything in her power to look damn adorable. I thought she was a ?cat? familiar, not a ?kitten? familiar. Cats are supposed to be flippant and uncaring, not fiercely studying their food with the cutest look on their faces.

I wanna hug her.

I mustn?t! That?s Ran?s job.

Well, fine, if you guys don?t like it, more for me. And Chen.

Yukari spears a piece of the kielbasa with her fork. Thought she didn?t like it. Oh, well, gotta eat, right?

?I wasn?t kidding when I said this isn?t a hotel. As it is, though, without having another non-telepath around to test yourself on, you won?t get anywhere with your control. I?m afraid I have to urge you to speed your lessons along.?

Is this table the concentrated embodiment of bitchiness? It seems like Yukari?s pretty cool, but then you sit down for lunch or dinner with her, and she turns into Iceheart.

We?re making pretty good progress, I?m feeling sure of it. For example, I?m not shouting everything I?m thinking to everyone anymore, and I can keep most of my thoughts to myself.

?Progress, indeed. If only your cooking skills were as advanced. Or maybe it?s the concentrated bitchiness under the food that?s turning it??

If you?ve never experienced all the blood draining from your face, you should try it. I recommend extreme embarrassment. Allow me to demonstrate.

Okay, not as far along as I?d hoped. But I said you?re pretty cool until you?re sitting at the table!

?That?s because one conducts business at the table, do they not?? She pops another piece of the kielbasa into her mouth ? thus reducing the possible leftover kielbasa for me later. Not cool, man.

The only business I prefer to conduct at a table is the business of expanding your belly. You?re supposed to eat at a table, right? Let?s eat!

?Maybe if you made something edible. Geez.?

You know, Koishi, I didn?t see you make anything, so hush up. It?s clearly an acquired taste. Start acquiring it.

Business as usual, I guess. Dinnertime and business. ?Dinnertime as usual.

Let this be a subtle hint to Sakana anyone writing Kaleidoscope Esifex into a story, not to let her get creative in the kitchen. She's talented at the art of cooking but the flavors she combines don't normally go together to the average Joe. Not saying she makes concentrated death on a dish, but it... takes some getting used to.

Esifex:
Gonna need more montaaaaage

Managed to get another two days so far out of Yukari, this time by helping Ran keep the place organized while Yukari went out and did whatever it is that Yukari?s do in their spare time. Koishi has continued to train me. All goes well. Send word to the mothership. Just kidding.

It still hurts a little when I?m around Ran when she?s thinking, so I?ve been doing my best to keep a conversation going the entire time I?m around her.

?Yukari said there were others besides her that could return me to my original world. Like who??

??Like whom?. Well, Yukari would be able to do it easiest, but the Barrier Maiden could send you back.?

Barrier Maiden. That?s the main character of the games, right? The miko. ?Reimu Somethin-or-other, right? The one at the shrine.?

?Hakurei, at the Hakurei shrine, yes. There?s a gateway there that leads through the barrier. Alternatively, the Moriya Shrine, atop the Youkai Mountain, is home to a pair of Goddesses who came over from your world not too long ago. Perhaps they would be able to send you back. I don?t foresee your ability to scale the mountain being good enough to reach them without being attacked by the tengu or any other feral youkai in the area, though.?

?Such an outstanding vote of confidence. Thanks.?

?It?s true, though.?

?Hang on, could you twist that knife a little more??

Ran smirks at me. ?If you insist. Your talent with spellcards is abysmal at best, you?re still at a loss when it comes to silencing your thoughts and keeping them to yourself, and on top of that, you have absolutely no breasts to speak of.?

Ouch. And that last one is a lie, she?s lying to you, I have tits, seriously, don?t believe her.

?That?s harsh. Real harsh. Man.?

I grab one of her tails and use it to dust a bookshelf. Unfortunately for my little prank, Ran keeps the place pretty clean, and there was little to no dust on the shelf to begin with.

?How childish of you. And I thought I said leave my tails alone; regardless, though, thank you for your help cleaning today. You?re free to use the rest of the day as you see fit.?

?Maybe I?ll do some proper cooking this time around, for dinner. Since my last endeavor went over so well.?

I figured, Ran liked it; maybe I can get some positive reinforcement and ego stroking done at the same time.

No luck. ?You don?t have any other talents you can draw on? Short of using my tails as a feather-duster ??

?Clearly you mean a fur-duster.?

?? and helping me clean, you haven?t really done much else. I know you can?t possibly enjoy dusting someone else?s house.?

?Well, I?m a guest here, and I have to earn my ??

Click. Lightbulb in head!

?? I?m an idiot. I?ve been changing oil for so long, I?ve forgotten I?m also a massage therapist. There?s also that whole ?thrown into another world? bit that?s got me a little off-kilter. Thanks for reminding me, though! Could you do me a favor and let me know when Yukari comes back??

?I would assume by now you would be able to tell when she returned on your own. Hasn?t your telepathy been developing smoothly under Koishi?s guiding? Eye??

Ba-dum, tish. ?Not really. The other day she made me forget which way was forwards when it came to speaking, for funsies. Other than her screwing with my mind, though, I am actually making good progress. It doesn?t hurt my head to be around you as much as it used to.?

Ran glances back at me. No sign of concern or a cocked eyebrow. Woman wears a poker-mask for a face at times, it seems. Not at all like the maternal Ran I think I recalled from my days of Touhou.

?It hurt your head to be around me? Why?? She sets her duster and dust-rag down, and turns to face me, hands effortlessly sliding into their opposites? sleeve. That looks familiar.

?You don?t stop thinking. About a bajillion things at once. I?m sure you?re able to, but could you imagine having like, twenty TVs in front of you, all with a different channel tuned in, and you absolutely can?t tune a single one of them out? You?re forced to acknowledge and keep track of every single little thing that happens on each one. That?s what it felt like to be around you. Do you ever take a day off??

?From thinking? No, of course not.?

??Of course not?? Why not??

She bows her head past me ? no, wait, that was a nod, indicating where she wanted to go. I step aside as she strides past me, exiting the walk-in storage closet we?d been cleaning. As she strides her unbreakable stride ? letting nothing slow her down, oh no, she?s got to keep on moving ? she shrugs at me. ?I am a kitsune, and a nine-tailed kitsune, at that. We are cunning and clever ? it?s just who we are. Especially when you?re as old as I am.?

?Yeah, you?re like, what, a bajillion years old? Seems like everyone here that isn?t human is at least a couple millennia old.?

?Such an over-exaggeration. You have a talent for hyperbole, don?t you??

?I?m not always up to bat, but when I am, I like to swing for the bleachers.?

?I thought you didn?t like sports ? least of all, baseball.?

?That?s why I?m not up to bat very often. Also, I?m surprised you know what baseball is.?

Now she smirks at me again. ?Don?t forget, I?m a bajillion years old, and I serve one of the few people in Gensokyo who can cross the barrier whenever she wants to.?

Wait a sec. She?s been out in the real world? With all those tails? What the hell?

I voice my concern. ?Wait a sec. You?ve been out in the real world? With all those tails? What the hell??

Her tails unfurl about each other and flare out. Suddenly she whips around to face me.

That?s not Ran, not anymore. She looks like a little girl, about Chen?s height now, only wearing modern clothing, complete with a cellphone dangling from her belt-loop. Her tails had disappeared in the blur of motion as she turned to face me.

A completely different voice answered me. ?What tails? Clearly, I?m a perfectly normal little girl. However, I would like to point out that I am also a kitsune ? still ? and we?re very talented at illusions. I?ve been back and forth with Yukari many times.?

?God, damn. I think I hit bottom, and someone throws me another shovel. Then I hit rock bottom and they throw me a jackhammer. This place is really screwing with my head, and I don?t mean the telepathy. I?m gonna go take a nap, can you please arouse me when Yukari gets back??

Tween-Ran blinks at me. ??Arouse? you??

Wait.

Did I say that? Oh nuts, I did.

?That was definitely a Freudian slip. I?ve been hanging out with Koishi too much. Blame her.?

Koishi?s voice calls from one of the rooms off to the side of the hallway. ?You ought to; I was the one who made you say that!?

Smartass.

Ran smiles, then nods at me. ?Of course. Get some rest.?

The nearest unoccupied futon is getting attacked. Like, seriously.

Don't you dare get between me and mah pillow

Esifex:
Koishi's Creeping Hands, scary scary

?FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON?T DO THAT!?

I leap to my feet ? something I?m pretty sure I?ll never be able to do again, at least not so soon after waking up from a dead sleep ? and swat at the offending hand.

Koishi scoots back quickly and withdraws her hand. I glare at her.

?What the hell?!?

Cocky smirk. ?I thought you wanted to be aroused when Yukari got back. She?s back.?

I feel my cheeks flush red. ?You are just desperate for a beating, aren?t you?? I draw my hand back and feint at her, acting as though I wanted to slap her.

She laughs and rolls onto her back, scooting further away from me. Woman takes nothing seriously.

I pat myself down and make sure my nightclothes are all intact and Koishi wasn?t trying to make off with my underwear. ?How long was I out? Er? how long was Yukari out while I was asleep? Screw it, you know what I mean.?

The satori sits upright again. ?Believe it or not, six hours. I was just fixing to go to bed myself.?

I poke the futon I?d just gotten out of with my foot and ruffle the sheets on it. ?All yours, giggle-cheeks.?

?Giggle-cheeks? I?m using that one on Orin next time I go back to Chireiden. And don?t you know, you?re supposed to make your bed once you get out of it??

I return her smirk and kick the pillow across the room. ?I was never very good with manners, you know. At least, not after being molested awake.?

?Ha, ha.? She rolls her eyes and gets up to get the pillow while I rummage about for the Chinese-style chemise I?d set aside for this occasion. I don?t think I?m going to risk undressing with Koishi in the same room, but I also don?t want to be wearing a nightgown under this thing. Hmm? I?ll need a compromise.

Or a distraction. ?Hey, Koishi ? before you go to bed, could you do me a favor and get me a drink??

?Nah.?

Doh. ?Jerkface. Fine, I?ll go get one myself.?

?Thought you were going to talk to Yukari. You know she?s not going to be awake for much longer, herself, right? Woman sleeps more than a kasha. And, won?t you tuck me in??

She?s doing her best to look adorable under the covers, but it just doesn?t work with her ever-present smart-ass smirk.

?Let me go get the rope and duct-tape, and I?ll tuck you in, sure.? I walk over and tuck one side of the sheets under her side, then heave as hard as I can, rolling her over so the blankets wrap around her as quickly as I can.

?Hey! What?! What?re you doing, you goober?? She doesn?t look all that intimidating, now that she?s just a head sticking out of a rolled up blanket ? much less a grinning head. God, does this woman ever stop smiling?

?There, you?re tucked in.? One last push rolls her over onto her side, facing away from me. Handy, that is. I?m pretty sure she won?t stay like this, but maybe the point will get across.

Somehow I managed to change in the same room as Koishi without getting groped again. Seemed she really was tired and more interested in going to sleep.

Finally. I?ll have to ask Yukari to yank in some Valium or something, slip it into Koishi?s food later.

For now, though, I have a higher calling ? and that is, earning a roof over my head while I straighten out my head. The best way for me to do this was exactly as Ran said ? certainly not by cleaning.

No, I would? massage a demi-goddess. I don?t think I?ve ever heard of Ran massaging Yukari as part of her servitude. I think.

I found Yukari sitting in her common room, nursing a dish of sake.

By the way, no matter how much you may like anime and stuff, if you don?t drink regularly ? don?t try sake. It?s downright nasty if you?re not ready for it. Plus, you drink it from a plate, not a cup. How weird is that?

?Yes, Esifex?? she asks. I twitch at the title, but don?t argue it.

?I have some questions to ask you, if I may.?

?You may, go ahead.?

?You can open boundaries to anywhere, conjure up anything, right? Is there a limit to that, are you restrained by anything? If you don?t mind telling me.? Of course, if you do mind, you?re liable to just gap me into the sun or something.

?Hmm. Yes, anywhere, anything, anytime. Of course, it used to cost me some of my lifespan to manipulate boundaries, but then I manipulated that into oblivion. ?I?m kidding about that.?

Smartass. ?Well, then? I?m sure you?re aware ? I?m a massage therapist, not a swordswoman or mechanic or psychic extraordinaire. It?s what I?m talented at, it?s what I learnt to do, and it?s what I should?ve been doing instead of working in that damn oil shop.?

?If I weren?t before, I am now.?

?Of course. Anyways, bartering skills doesn?t make sense if you?re offering up a skill you?re not good at. I think in order for me to earn my rent here while Koishi trains me, I?d be best off by? massaging you. And possibly Ran and Chen, but I really don?t know how to work around tails. Of course, I?d still help with cooking and stuff, when I know a recipe that everyone actually likes.?

Yukari smirks at the reference to the failed kielbasa night.

Then she makes me sweat while she sits and considers her reply. You?d think with such a tiny little plate-dish-cup thing there wouldn?t be much sake in it, but she managed to nurse it for several moments, taking several draws from it. Something makes me think she?s cheating and using some kind of boundary manipulation to refill it without actually picking up the bottle.

?Your logic is flawless in this case ? why would someone offer to be a carpenter if they?ve never picked up a saw? I don?t see what this has to do with my power, though.?

The catch. ?Well, in order to massage you, I need some things, things you don?t readily have available here. In order for me to ?pay my rent?, I?d need some help from you, first.?

?You?re not accustomed to having to ask for help, are you??

She?s plucked a nerve, and the look on her face says she knows it. I try not to let it bother me too much. ?No, I?m not. Is there some form of etiquette I?m supposed to adhere to??

Those ancient eyes continue staring at me for a second while she takes another draw from her sake. ?Depends on what culture you ask ? there are several different etiquettes when it comes to requesting aid.?

Okay, so, what am I supposed to do? I have nothing to offer, woman. I need an answer so I can figure out the next step of my plans.

??No.?

What.

What.

?Why not?? I blurt out.

She sighs and sets her dish-cup-plate down. ?It?s very simple. I don?t want you to massage me. Ergo, I don?t think you?d need me to acquire anything.?

I?m so sick of this place. Everything is so confusing, even ? especially ? peoples? behavior.

?Why not? It?s like, the only thing I?m good at. I can sort of help Ran keep this place clean, but I feel like I get in her way more often than I help, and my taste in food is so weird I can?t trust any of the recipes I know to actually go over very well, or at the least be palatable, or I feel like I?d end up wasting your food, or ??

?Calm down, Esifex.? That damn name. ?It?s not because I feel like making things difficult for you.?

?Well, then, what is it?? I should do something about all this leftover stupid I have. Maybe I?ll go use it up by jumping off the roof and breaking my ankle.

?I don?t think you need to do anything further than what you?re already doing. You?re not getting in Ran?s way, and she appreciates the extra pair of hands. As long as we provide the recipes for you, you?re a talented hand in the kitchen. You?re doing enough; don?t feel obligated to do more. Besides, it?s not like you?ll be here much longer ? Koishi tells me you?re coming along quite nicely, and I haven?t heard any of your thoughts leaking out during this entire conversation. I?m inclined to believe her.?

I blink stupidly at her. Maybe that used up some more stupid. ?Yeah, but? where am I supposed to go once I?m done ?training? my mind? The human village isn?t very fond of me. It?s apparently very dangerous for a human like myself to wander around. I literally have nowhere to go!?

?That?s not true. There are plenty of bastions of humanity besides the village. If you can make yourself useful out of the Hakurei Shrine, the miko may be willing to send you back to your part of the world. Alternatively, you could be a shop assistant for a friend of mine ? he collects and catalogues various things that slip through the barrier from your world to ours. You?d be a goldmine of information for him. If you disciplined yourself enough, took control of your telepathy, you could return to the village in a position of power, perhaps join Keine as one of the guardians.?

?Something tells me I?d get a knife in the ribs while I?m sleeping if I tried to pull that. That?s what the dissenters were afraid I?d do ? take a position of power and try to get close to Keine and the leaders.?

?Okay, so that?s one option down. Still two more that I?ve just mentioned now, and on top of that there are other places you could go. Are you any good with bureaucracy? Paperwork??

Oh, God. Paperwork. Ugh. Oil shop. ?Yes, I am. What have you got in mind??

?You could go to Chireiden. Koishi?s sister reigns as leader of the Former Hell ? another satori, who isn?t much different from you. Telepathic, I mean. She could probably use some help leading the place ? there?s a lot of behind-the-scenes bureaucracy that goes on in leadership positions, and having another telepath on-staff help out with some of it could only make things easier for her. It?d get you protection, room and board, food, and something to do.?

?Yeah, but for how long? How long will it take before you think I?ll be ready to go back??

She pauses, and thinks.

?In my honest opinion, it would be ideal for you to just stay in Gensokyo.?

?What?? That?s insane!

?Even as ?untrained? as you are, by Koishi?s standards as a satori, you?re still highly psychic compared to the mundane humans of the outside world. Do you honestly think that you?d be satisfied living a life there where your talent would have to be hidden, lest you be ostracized and never trusted amongst your peers? Sure, it?d be an incredible advantage in the business world? but would you be content to stop there? How do you know you won?t be tempted to brag about it, to let yourself feel smug and superior over the masses because of your ability to see through their plans, plots, and politics? Unless I were to lock your ability, which I highly doubt you?d agree to ??

?Not happening.? This isn?t a gift. This is a part of me, no matter how confusing it may be. You?re not taking it.

?Didn?t think so. You?ve already proven your inability to keep your mouth shut, and you seem to be having trouble keeping your thoughts to yourself? especially when you?re emotional.?

?What, did you just hear me?? I don?t care if you did.

?Not explicit thoughts, but I could easily feel your disagreement with my suggestion radiating out of you.?

?Maybe you think you did, and were instead just reading my body language.? Doubt it, but hey, you can?t always be right, woman.

?Body language doesn?t have a tone of voice. The way you clench your muscles and tilt your hip to one side can?t ?sound? like you. If I?d known the sensation was coming and prepared for it, I reckon I could?ve discerned the actual words to your thoughts. Either way, though, my point still stands; you?re nowhere near ready to mask your ability properly. Not yet.?

Ugh. This is too much. I turn from Yukari, fixing to head back to the room currently reserved for latent psychics.

?I?ll think about this later. This is too much to digest all at once.?

?I didn?t expect an immediate answer from you, anyways.?

I didn?t know you were asking a question. Whatever.

Once I?d gone back to my little dorm, I sat down against the wall and fiddled with my cellphone.

Regardless of how relaxing the music is on my ?sleepy? playlist, I couldn?t get to sleep for the rest of the night.

Seriously the Samsung Trance is badass you should check it out if you dig music and need to upgrade your cellphone (It's not a smartphone - very little by way of pix and I don't think it has any web capabilities)

Esifex:
Unlike Everlasting Wanderers, this story picks up very quickly after the montages.

A week later found my mental discipline much higher ? I can now pick and choose what thoughts I want to broadcast, and which thoughts I want to block out. The ultimate test came when I spent an entire day with Ran, silently reading a book while following her through the estate. I could tell that she was constantly thinking, but I could tune it out and ignore it now.

I can feel whenever Koishi links up to my mind via her Third Eye; at first, all I could do was sense her intrusion and track her as she lollygagged through my head. Now, I can actually lock onto her mind inside of mine and block her progress, keep her from doing anything. Something tells me she hasn?t tried in earnest to get past me, but the fact that I can even do that alone is progress achieved.

I haven?t developed any telekinesis ? or if I have, I don?t have anyone around who can train me in recognizing and controlling it, so it?s withering away. Unfortunate as that may or may not be, the telepathy is good enough for me. Being able to bend spoons and pick up things from across the room with my mind would be crazy awesome, but just being able to read the intent and will of those around me is advantage enough to satisfy me. You get what you?re given and take what you?ve got.

As my control and discipline improved, so did my range. I?ve scryed the entire mountain valley that Mayohiga sits in from my room, and have astral-projected my sense of self into Gensokyo proper ? though Mayohiga sits in a reality slightly off of Gensokyo, they?re still connected that it doesn?t take any fancy reality mapping to get between them.

As such, I was mildly surprised ? and slightly offended ? that the closest living creature I sensed in the Mayohiga valley was about the size of a lynx and also hella-far away.

Koishi and I took this opportunity to wander the valley with some rut sacks that Yukari procured for us from God Knows Where. Officially, we were just getting out of the house for a few days so I could get better acquainted with living outdoors in Gensokyo. The place is definitely rural countryside ? while the human village showed signs of advanced stonework, there aren?t any paved roads or housing developments or skyscrapers or interstates or cars. Its unadulterated nature.

Theoretically, we were leaving Mayohiga. The warped boundary that held Mayohiga isolated from the rest of Gensokyo was designed to impede entry, not departures. If we so chose, we could take the rut sacks we had and take off on our own through Gensokyo. I was armed with a fully charged cellphone in case we needed anything from Yukari on our way out, if we decided to go.

I would have been armed with the MJOLNIR armor from Halo, as well. However, after initially bursting out into hysterical laughter when I suggested this, Yukari pointed out that even if she modified it so it wouldn?t tear my body to pieces when I tried to use any of the augmented functions, it would also stand out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of Gensokyo. Upon her recommendation, I chose to settle for a generic leather travelers garb and a trusty knife at my waist with a weighted plumb on a coiled rope opposite it. I can only think of ways to use it in a fight, but I?m sure it?d have loads of practical uses, too ? I just can?t be bothered to think of them off the bat.

The past few hours have been mostly silent, both verbally and mentally. I have too much on my mind to deal with a conversation, though if I were honest with myself, I could probably use nothing more than to get my mind off? my mind.

Koishi, for the most part, has been respectful of my silence, and was instead enjoying the relatively tame wilderness of the Mayohiga Mountain Valley. In all her wanderings, she?s picked up a lot of wilderness survival habits. For how quickly she eats up the leagues, her footing is sure and secure, yet still very nimble. She picks out paths and identifies the flora and fauna with confidence.

As she wanders along ahead of me, I go through the contents of my satchels and pouches. I still have all the original spellcards Yukari gave me, but without the Cobalt armor, most of it is useless. Devastate, Shield Slam, Charge, Thunderclap. All of these required me to be up close and personal, and without something between my skin and my opponent, I wasn?t about to risk using them.

I nearly tossed them aside into the wilderness when I remembered that I could have Koishi help me turn them into something else.

Koishi, I call ahead to her. Two hundred yards does nothing to the volume of a mental voice.

?Yeah, what?s up?? she thinks back. Technically, she?s not thinking back directly to me, but she?s just amplifying her thoughts so I have little choice but to hear them.

I think I?m gonna swap out some of these spellcards. Could you help me out, again?

?Sure, yeah, I?ll be right there.?

Take your time, don?t trip over anything.

She truly is a wilderness girl, or at least one who just goes wherever the hell she wants to. Even though she hasn?t been through Mayohiga ? or so she claims ? she still navigates the wilderness like it was her own backyard. A ginger little hop to clear a hidden dip in the ground, a swift stomp through vine-laden bushes to pull herself clear without breaking her stride? hell, I was half expecting her to grab a vine from somewhere and swing across a random chasm.

I tuck the useful cards back into my pouch ? Shield Wall, Shockwave, Last Stand, and the like ? and fan out the cards I?m getting rid of.

An element of beauty. A symbol of the wielder. A manifestation of the owners? magic. Those are the basic guidelines behind spellcards ? at least, from what I understand. How should I make them apply to me?

I?m very plain. I can?t even wear hats very well because I look stupid with them on, no matter what I do with my hair. I have little to no identity or existence beyond my job back in the real world, and even now, I don?t even have that ? nor do I have my own name anymore. And, of course, I have no magic whatsoever, unless telepathy counts. I?m pretty sure anger, self-esteem, and identity issues don?t count. Maybe I can make an attack style over turning my opponent emo.

Nevermind, Koishi. I can?t think of anything to do with these cards. I stack them back up and slip ?em into the pouch with the rest of them. Maybe I?ll be able to use them with a dagger. They?re all physical cards, after all. I?ll just have to be very careful not to get myself hit.

?You could use some of the spellcards me and my sister use. For example, Satori has a spellcard that?s really not any one spellcard ? she scans her opponent with it first and makes patterns reminiscent of any spellcard the target has had trouble with in the past.?

I?ll think about it. Thinking seems to be all I?m good at right now. I don?t know what possessed me to try to swing a sword around.

I spin my cellphone around my thumb, a little trick I?ve developed over the years while I was full of nervous energy. I don?t remember pulling it out of my pouch, but I suppose some music could do me good. There?s still nothing in a five-mile radius that would be any bit of a threat to either one of us, so I don?t have to worry about attracting some big bad youkai.

I could call Yukari and have her gap us back to her place, but part of me is pretty tired of her right now. ?This isn?t a hotel, and I?m not a taxi service, but don?t hesitate to call me if you need anything.? God only knows if she?s even awake right now, which would do me a fat load of nothing if she weren?t.

I slide the phone open and page through my music library. All sorts of classical songs ? ironically, most of these are arrangements of Touhou character themes ? a few techno/trance songs, and a sizable collection of rock and metal. Some ?Strength of the World? by Avenged Sevenfold sounds pretty good, right about now.

Of course, my story started a few days after they said I couldn?t be found, and obviously I don?t have a sister and Mom and Dad are fine. Also, I didn?t expect Chris to go on a roaring rampage of revenge against anyone, but I know he was strong enough to deal with my absence. Hell, he may have even bought the witness protection story hook, line, and sinker, and be going about his life hunky-dory.

I plan to go back. I want to go back. I need to go back. Whoever gets between me and my goal will suffer ? with my telepathy, I?m sure I could find a way to bring anyone to their knees. I?m done with Yukari ? she thinks she knows best just because she has a ridiculous power, that just because she brought me here that she?s my guardian angel. The only one who?s actually helped me at all has been Koishi, and that?s mostly because she thinks she owes me one.

In a sense, she does. I?m not going to lord it over her ? once I get the skills necessary to survive the Gensokyo wilds, we?ll be even. Until then, I won?t reject her help. God only knows I?ll be needing her help for a long time coming.

Yukari has been helpful, yes, but sometimes a well-intending friend can do more harm than any one person out to get you.

I stop for a moment and sit down on a smooth patch of grass. I haven?t mastered the art of astral projection while I?m moving ? it gives me an epic case of motion sickness.

I don?t know how to physically fly. I?m pretty sure I won?t ever learn how, too. I?m just a human ? albeit one with telepathy, but telepathy doesn?t automatically mean I get to flick all the laws of physics off and tell them to go stuff themselves.

Mentally, though, I can send my mind wherever the hell I want to, now. Massive perversion potential there, but for now, I?m more preoccupied with making sure I can see the next sunrise.

Awareness being what it is ? that is, immaterial ? it?s not subjected to inertia. I looked out over the Mayohiga valley from a few miles up, trying to get a good range on the area. Back the way we?d come was the plateau that Yukari?s Estate sat on; from there, it had a nice regal view of the mountain valley proper, surrounded on all sides by slightly taller mountains.

Oddly enough, for roughly a hundred acres beyond each mountain, the air seemed to warp and twist, looking suspiciously like a smoke-and-mirror illusion. Something tells me that?s Yukari?s doing ? nestling her house into her own little pocket reality.

The mountains on either side of the valley ? thus, ?valley? ? weren?t exactly tall by way of mountains; only the ones ?behind? Yukari?s estate had snowcaps. Ahead of us, the mountains slowly shrank down in size until they came upon a bottleneck in the smoke-and-mirror effect, where two behemoths of mountains stood. If I had to venture a guess, I?d say this little place was only a few dozen square miles, from the backyard of Yukari?s estate to the Border of Gensokyo. Like I said; the mountains weren?t that tall.

It had plenty of wildlife, though.

And that?s it. Aside from the one feral youkai that was stalking the lynx-like creature I?d sensed earlier, the place was more or less a mountainous region right out of Missouri. Deer, birds of all types of flavors, either a goat or a ram, many different types of snakes, all kinds of animals lived here. The feral youkai probably came into this range by accident.

This type of solitude isn?t conducive to productive thinking for me. Instead, it?ll drive me insane. Another reason to get out of Yukari?s estate. Even if all I have to look forward to is jackasses in the human village.

No. You know what? Screw it. I?m going to make sure that they understand what has happened, even if it involves pissing a lot more of them off. Corruption and controversy never make for a peaceful dinner conversation, and they?re rarely found without the other. If they don?t like it, they can deal with it.

I didn?t do anything wrong. I?m just a little different than they are, and if they can?t handle that, their loss. I would?ve been a good goddamn defender.

What could have been?

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