The Smooth Gentlemen - Chapter X [Completed]

~Hakurei Shrine~ > Kosuzu's Grand Bookstore

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Helepolis:

--- Quote from: Siki's Rurozela on July 07, 2010, 09:52:50 PM ---Whoa, Shino herself became a character?

Is it counted as masochism if I could not stop laughing at the end :V

Enjoy your vacation, Hele. You deserve it. And what do you mean, moderate?

--- End quote ---
Modest = C for me , Moderate = larger than C :V Thanks I really need the holiday. School pretty much wrecked me lately.

Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin:
You know, the end kind of reminded me of the "tower-shaking scene" with Rose in Overlord, because I got the exact same reaction: a combination of snickering and :V

That said ... I dunno. Maybe I'm just weird, but you managed to get the protagonists sympathetic enough that their "plight" seemed a bit too serious/tense to fit in with "random silliness" very well. I was half-expecting John to pull off some kind of Captain-Jack-Sparrow-in-the-first-movie-style "betray everyone, but in such a way that you and your friends come out on top." Maybe I should have kept the premise more firmly in mind ...

EDIT: Also, now that it's over, I'll finally confess: Throughout the entire second-half of its run, I kept thinking "The Smooth Mentlegen."

Kasu:
Glad to see things worked out relatively well.

Also, I can't get Smooth Criminal out of my head.

Helepolis:
(Replying from little far east)

"You've been struck by, you've been squeezed by, a smooth shino." would indeed be a fitting line here Kasunagi.

@Kimiko, That was one of the reason I wanted to keep the story short, to avoid too much in depth seriousness.

I noticed though I made some horrible mistakes through out the fiction. Not spelling or grammar, but wrong naming or silly mistakes. Oh well, that is what you get when you let a dutchy like me write a fiction.

Kasu:

--- Quote from: Helepolis on July 13, 2010, 07:00:46 PM ---(Replying from little far east)

"You've been struck by, you've been squeezed by, a smooth shino." would indeed be a fitting line here Kasunagi.

--- End quote ---
I was actually thinking more along the lines of replacing "smooth criminal" with "the smooth gentlemen," although that does work as well. :3

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