Topic: The last letter from Mima  (Read 2667 times)

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Sriggle

  • Drop the pills!
The last letter from Mima
« on: June 10, 2010, 04:16:28 pm »
Critique actively encouraged.
This is my first time writing a Touhou fanfiction, so I hope I got it right. (I've always imagined Yuka to be on speaking terms with Reimu, if anyone gets confused.)
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Dearest Reimu.

Do you remember when you were very small and the lights suddenly went out?
That was me.

I used to watch over you all the time.

“Mother and father have gone, so I'm lonely. Ah, well. I'll try to do my best!”
You were eleven years old and your parents already left you alone for long periods of time, sending the occasional gift, a “donation to the Hakurei shrine” as they jokingly called it. It had been a shrine once, before you were born, and your mother had been a miko before she married your father and had you. She'd been protecting “A barrier of sorts, but it's mostly sealed off now”.

Of course you knew there was another world on the other side of the -used-to-be-a-shrine, and that you weren't really supposed to go there, just make sure nobody else did. Not that they'd come far, anyways, as your mother used to go on about how dangerous youkai were.

You always wanted to be a shrine maiden, didn't you? At least it seemed that way, you used to run around in a pair of too-big hakama, holding a piggy bank and asking for “'Donathons”. Your mother used to smile, and your father would occasionally drop a 100 yen coin in, saying “That's my little capitalist!”You do know how much your parents loved you, didn't you? I know, for I saw your mother sobbing when she and your father had to leave you for the longest period of time, and I wasn't jealous of your life for once. I remember seeing you not cry, but nod gently and look absolutely mortified when you hung up. And then you just went on with the housework, like always, like everything was normal until you realized that mother and father really really really weren't coming home again, for real.

You cried for a while, maybe an hour or so, and then you sighed and went to get mother's old miko costume-I'll never forget that look you had in your eyes, determination mixed with absolute force. It confused me; I wasn't sure what to do. After all, I was still an evil spirit at the time, and shouldn't be siding with humans, nor cheering them on.

I might have seen myself in you that day.

And then one day; You weren't as motivated and I could hardly stand seeing you like this; I had to do something, but what?

I didn't want you to end like I did.

But I was just a spirit, and unless you went to the other side, you couldn't see me. And besides, I did't think you'd even acknowledge my presence, since you just ignored all the hints I kept dropping, doors closing without you there, soup being eaten by someone else, scattered books on the floor- It just escalated to shattered dishes, broken windows, and at last, a door being flown off it's hinges. Yet your apathy continued, so I did the only thing I could:

I wrecked the shrine.
I stole that picture of your parents.
And you came back for it. No, you fought for it. In the end, you fought for your life(Though I'd never think to kill you), and you actually wanted to live. Thank the gods, I was so happy when you left.

I'd keep watching over you, never making my presence known, just looking. You'd become quite lonely as of late, I noticed, so I'd occasionally point people towards the shrine, humans and youkai alike. They'd come and keep you company for a little while, you'd have something akin to freinds, and I was happy, for at last I didn't have to worry as much as I did. You were doing fine on your own, absolutely fine.

I started leaving the shrine more and more. One day, I met a young thief who tried to get away with one of your books, so I quickly made her discard it(I returned it later, you didn't notice a thing), and we started talking. She was an interesting girl you see, and it ended with me teaching her magic. I'd always wanted to teach my daughter magic, and she looked just like I imagined my daughter would; If I'd gotten to see her grow up. Though she was really unladylike- But that's just how kids are, I guess. She got really good in a short period of time.

I wanted you to meet her-But you were still living on the outside, so I sent you some easily summoned monsters from the Gensokyo side. You and Marissa had a brief run-in, but you got along just beautifully after that. You asked me to stay, too, and I happily obliged. After all, somebody needed to look over you two.

Remember all the friends we met? Kana Anaberal, Chiyuri and Yumemi, Yuka... Though, Yuka's the only one who comes around for tea once in a while now? You really weren't good with people those years.. At least you had me and Marissa, right?

I was delighted to see you running down the road with a new friend in hand, Rin the sickly unicorn. She'd often stay here for days at a time due to her weak constitution-But that's to be expected of a half-human, half-unicorn girl. Her body would age like a youkai, but her constitution was that of a human that had lived for hundreds of years. There was something about her, she looked so much like myself at an early age- You said once that we had the same eyes, but we shared more traits than that.

You remember that night you two went to the big mansion and invaded it, and brought some books home for Rin to read, when she was lying ill? Well, it turns out, Marissa had found the last Perfect Memento in strict sense, and the entry on the unicorn tribe.

I was reading aloud to her when her eyes were making her head spin, and then I noticed it:
I'm a part of her family tree. You can read it yourself if you don't belive me, it's on page 234 in the part “Unicorns in Gensokyo”.

She's my daughter.

So, I hope you can understand why I'm going like this. I do love you, I really do- I love Marissa too, and this shrine where I lived for so long-I loved watching you grow up and become a person of your own, and I loved the fact that you made me forget all my anger and become a bit human again, and I loved teaching Marissa magic and seeing Rin come up to the doorstep with her soft smile. But you've both grown up, now, and you're able to take care of yourselves. To tell the truth, I'm very proud of you. So I'm not worried about leaving you.

You see, I'm not a vengeful spirit any more. I've already given the “vengeful” part up, and the reason I stayed here on earth was because I wanted to know what had happened to my daughter. I've got nothing binding me to this world anymore, so I'm going on. I've already been out-of-place in this world for several hundred years.

Right now, you're on your way to the human village to find a doctor for Rin, but I'm sorry to say it's too late. She wants to be buried at sea she says, because she could never go there due to her poor health. Though, maybe she's told you that already.

Well, as I said, I love you all. But Rin's time has come, and I have to take my daughter to heaven.

-Mima
Japanese progress: To the point where I can read a manga with the help of an electronic dictionary.

FinnKaenbyou

  • Formerly Roukanken
  • *
  • blub blub nya
  • LOOK AT ME
  • Nickname: Roukanken
  • Gender: i don't even know anymore
Re: The last letter from Mima
« Reply #1 on: June 10, 2010, 06:22:26 pm »
OK, the last line made me tear up a little. ;_;

Little criticism in that you've spelt Marisa with an extra s throughout. It's not like the English name. But really, that's a trifling complaint, this is a really nice little piece, especially for your first time.

Sriggle

  • Drop the pills!
Re: The last letter from Mima
« Reply #2 on: June 10, 2010, 06:48:25 pm »
Are! I'm happy that you liked it, ^^

Ah, and here I was thinking there was just a spelling error in my game, 0.0;;; Ah well, I'll remember to spell it correctly from now on. :)
Japanese progress: To the point where I can read a manga with the help of an electronic dictionary.
Re: The last letter from Mima
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2010, 04:04:47 am »
I enjoyed it very much :)
Bonus points for using PC-98 characters hehe I have a soft spot for them. And you used Rin (no not Orin)!!!! I'm always looking for more fanfiction with her in it.
 

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