~Beyond the Border~ > Akyu's Arcade
Let's Play The Dark Spire
Maid Xan~:
:LAST TIME ON LET'S PLAY THE DARK SPIRE!:
The mighty Sanger Zonvolt, THE SWORD THAT SMITES EVIL! , Hanabishi Recca , Flonne , and a mass murderer who goes only by the name of Black Mage passed Sir Garland's incredibly diffic- Okay, the test was a complete joke, and losing at it means you fail at life. Which of course all of you do. Anyhow, they learned that they must defeat some evil wizard dude with an incredibly stupid name that no one cares about.
Here's the town. There's the guild. We were just there. You manage your party, level people up, and take quests there.
: You also can recruit new people and check monster and item descriptions there.
: Flonne, you're not supposed to be talking right now. I'm doing explanations for the viewers. In fact, you're not even supposed to know about this. Make that: YOU SHOULDN'T BE HERE, YOU MORON!
: Awww, you don't mean thaaaat. I just thought you could use some help. Anyways, it's boring back there, and that Black Mage guy just scares me. I mentioned love and he started acting real creepy. I think he was coming on to me. Then I mentioned that Laharl probably wouldn't be happy if he tried anything, and he stopped, but now he starts leering at me all the time and... You know, I'd rather not talk about it. Also, I just get a bad feeling around him for some reason.
: Allright, yeah, that is kinda disturbing. But now's not a good time for you to be in here, seriously.
Okay, with that interruption out of the way, lets continue on. This is why I should have been our representative, not her. Next up is the inn. You can rest here to heal, regain spell points, and/or do something that the price is much to high for us to have checked out yet. You can also buy some really terrible healing items or eat stuff for less expensive single target versions of the rest effects.
The last is the shop. I really hope I don't have to explain what it's for. PRINNIES can understand what it's for, so should you. That's where we'll be headed next.
: Can't I just use my Grungust? I mean, honestly...
: Heck no. If I can't use Hadoken, there is no way I'm letting you use a giant robot.
: We're in front of the shop already. Can we just get inside already?
Shopkeeper:What can I get for you
: Ah, we're intersted in- OH GODS WHY
: PLEASE GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU'RE WORSE THAN KAMUI!
: THAT IS NOT THE KIND OF LOVE I WANT TO SPREAD!
: FUCK THIS, I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS CRAP! Er, I mean, shopkeeper, I think you have what I'm looking for in the back room.
Shopkeeper: Oh, well then, lets go look.
[minutes pass]
: This is taking to long. The audience is going to get bored. I'd better go and check on them.
[Moments later, Etna exits the store room, followed by Black Mage]
: Uh, wow, I didn't know that was even possible. Are you sure you want to take part in this? I mean, that's just... evil. I'm a DEMON and I find what you did to that guy disturbing and morally objectionable. I think I might end up like Flonne here if I run into something like that again. I think I'm going to have nightmares. Are you really SURE you should be in the party and not be the final boss?
: Unfortunately, I have contractual oblegations to a mutual aquaintence of ours. You know the one Spoiler: Thief. Anyhow, he said I have to take part in this, so... Anyways, don't worry, you won't be seeing anything like that again. It will be much, much worse.
: Well, I don't think the powers that be are just going to let us take stuff from here for free, so... Where are we going to get a new shopkeeper?
????: Don't worry, we've already found one
What are ye buyin'?
: HOLY CRAP, THIS IS THE BEST SHOPKEEPER EVER!
TO BE CONTINUED WHEN I CAN RUN THE REST BY RAMUS!
Easy Mode:
I think I will play it now.
I've been stalking this for a bit, looking at it and all that. But that classic view...
Oh god, I gotta play it NOW. NOW NOW NOW.
Maid Xan~:
: And we're back. Appologies for the delay. Anyhow, Sanger being Sanger, he blew most of the group's cash on a Claymore.
Afterwards, we stopped back at the guild to take some quests
Following up on the second one, we went back into the training hall to speak to Sir Garland, who apparently sleeps in there.
: Well to be honest, I really would rather not have, but everyone else insisted that we do everything, even the incredibly stupid graffiti one. Seriously, are we Janitors now? They're worse than Red Mage.
: Of course we shall! For I am Sanger Zonvolt, THE SWORD THAT SMITES EVIL!
: He's going to be saying that a lot, isn't he?
: Yeah. I know some people like him. Expect him to bring it up often.
: Set in our objectives, we headed to the tower.
The first floor of the tower is a very boring, monochrome place. It has about the same colorscheme as MadWorld, but less of the awesome blood and gore.
: Isn't that a good thing?
: I'm pretty sure we're both aware that people's tastes differ, Flonne. Stick to your E-10 games if you want, but don't make stupid comments about mine. And didn't I tell you you're not supposed to- *sigh* This is going to be a running gag, isn't it?
: Probably, yes.
: I'm just going to ignore it and let you help commentate then. Much easier. ANYHOW.
After exploring and finding the graffiti, but missing the part that needed to be erased because IT WAS ON THE OTHER WALL THE CORNER WAS COMPOSED OF AND THIS WAS IN NO WAY MADE CLEAR, we proceeded down the hallway (after taking a short walk back to town to level everyone with the experience gained from the monsters in the area) We came upon the first sign of our real enemy.
What the hell? Elevator under inspection? What, was the evil wizard we were supposed to take out some sort of middle management? We would only find more evidence of this as we progressed
In a nearby room, we came upon someone who didn't want us dead.
: Uh, no, I don't think so.
: It's a scam, isn't it?
: Yeah, guys, I think this is a scam.
: Yeah, I'm sure this is a-
Just shut up, lets see who he is. If he's reputable it might be all right.
: No, seriously, NO ONE has ever heard of you.
: SHUT UP!
: Okay, against my better judgement, I'd like to hear your offer.
: Wait, only 50 gold? I think we can afford that.
*DUN NUN NUN NUUUUUUN!* YOU GOT: IMPORTANT ITEM
: I think that dude was gay
: What gives you that idea?
: Well, he is wearing, pink, ornate armor.
: Any other evidence?
: Uhhh....
: FAAAABUUUULOUUUS!
:...
: Moving on...
We discovered two really stupid puzzles blocking our way. One was a statue that for whatever reason disintigrated when we put a leather helmet onto it. There was a very confusing inscription that I assume was supposed to clue us in, but we honestly just guessed it.
The other was a door that asked an incredibly easy riddle. I don't remember the exact details, but the answer was sword.
Past there, we found a rather tough group of enemies.
Fortunately, we were able to take them out thanks to Sanger and Black Mage. They were guarding stairs up to the second floor, despite the fact that we had already found another set of stairs to the same place.
On our way out, we cleaned up the graffiti.
We turned in the quest at the guild.
Was it worth it? Who knows.
And that's about all for now. Tune in next time viewers.
trancehime:
Once you get Susurrus Fatalis you could make a shitload of BM jokes about it!!!!
Ramus:
Well, I got this update done early and since I was rather late (late for me anyway) last time, I decided to post this early. Prepare for epically long post.
GRIND!
GRIND!
GRIND!
GGGGGRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNDDDDDDDD!!!!!
: I'm beginning to think this is taking too long.
: Indeed, we'll never progress at this rate through the tower.
: I'm good with killing random enemies.
: I figured you were the type to want to kill more powerful enemies.
: Nope, so long as I get a healthy amount of bloodshed per day, I'm good.
: And all seemed lost as the team began to grow bored of this adventure UNTIL...
: I've got it! The solution to the experience and money problems!
: Let's hear it.
: Okay, so we form the heroic formation and I go in front.
: I object to this.
: Hold on. You three stand in the back with some long ranged weapons ready. Then I'll hide the first round of combat.
: Which will keep the enemies from attacking!
: Exactly! As you are in the back row and they can't attack me, we're invincible.
: That's brilliant.
: And so began Operation Break the Game.
Oh hey, that's new. Yet still uglier.
: First enemy so far on the second floor. Let's do it!
: You heard the man! In formation!
PERFECT VICTORY
: However, I hate using this bow. I can't hit anything with it.
PRO TIP: Short bow sucks.
AND WE GOT A HAND AXE
: Not quite a sword, but it'll do.
We interupt this broadcast to give you... a dark screen. Yes, you have to wander around in the dark for a good section of this. And it SUCKS.
: Gah! I'm hit!
: But how? They can't see you!
: Move back!
Single flaw to Operation Break the Game, if Recca doesn't move fast enough, he will be hit. However, 95% of the time, he moves fast enough to hide.
Recca is still proving that he's utterly freaking awesome by finding a hidden door in the dark.
Due to its location, most of the gamblers are other adventueres.
: Oh hey, a gambling joint, think you can steal their money?
: I'm a ninja, not a thief.
: Same difference.
: Still not doing it.
A suspicious man beckons to you.
: Okie dokie, sir.
"Care to test your luck? Or perhpas you'd like to buy something?"
-Gamble
-Ask about this establishment
-Ask about Tyrhung
-Ask if he's heard any rumors
Gamble first I suppose.
"Alright/ That's more like it. The bet is 100 Gold. We'll each roll two dice, and whoever gets the higher total number wins. If it's a tie, the house wins. If you win, I'll double your Gold. And if you win consecutive games, I'll double it again!"
: I dunno, Mr. Lamington says gambling is bad.
: Go for it! Money!
: I really don't think I should.
: Oh come on, it's a 50/50 game.
: More of 60/40 as he wins ties.
: That's still a good shot.
: ...
: Oh fine, I'll do it!
You're reading that right. He proceeded to rig the dice and pull 100 out of our wallet. Anyway, let's look at him.
Though his sinewy face looks like a villain's, he seems trustworthy enough.
So trustworthy as to rig dice blatantly. Ask about this establishment.
"This place? It's what we call a 'speakeasy.' We provide services for adventurers without any interference from the law."
That was blatant.
"Townsfolk secretly come here too, like those guys over there." He motions towards a group of unarmed commoners.
How do they even make it up here to begin with?! We had to literally break the game to make it this far with level two adventurers.
Ask about Tyrhung
"Don't know him, don't know anything about him."
I think we sequence broke the plot.
Ask if he's heard any rumors.
I heard that some pretty unsavory fellows are holed up near the stairs to the 3rd floor."
Thank you for your useless information and rigged game. He does sell stuff, but umm... OVER THE TOP PRICES.
Did I mention how awesome Recca is?
: AMBUSH- gack-
: We're compromised, retreat!
: Hitting the reset button. Returning to last save.
.
.
.
.
.
.
: Ow...
: Oh, you're awake.
: Who are you?
: We'll just go by Mr. Reaper for now.
: Wait-
: Yes, you're dead.
: But I can't die yet.
: You aren't going to.
: Wait, what?
: You're just in Adventurer Purgatory. God decided there were too many of you sitting in purgatory with the other normal people that He gave adventurers their own purgatory.
: Yeah, but how does that work into me not dying?
: You just sit around here until your team revives you or resets.
: Oh.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
: That was close.
: Are all of the heads accounted for?
: Yeah, sure.
: Wait, Recca?! RECCCCCAAAAAA!
: I'm right here.
: Ah, don't do that.
: Let's just get back to that adventuring stuff. I really don't want to talk about what happened.
: We'll be seeing a lot more of him, we can be sure of that.
: A stair way downwards, I was wondering if we'd find one of these.
: It's the same one we came up from.
: You mean we just walked around in a full circle?
: Yes.
: Nice hat.
: Ah yes, the wandering Viking Goblins. They were never really taken seriously due to their short size.
: Did they ever actually plunder anything?
: Goblins? Plunder? They can't even build a boat that won't sink like a rock.
: I'M POISONED!
: Time to leave.
======================================================================
: I made it out?
: So that's how many times you nearly or did die to today?
: ...
: I feel the power within!
: Geez, Flonne is bulking out.
: ...
: I feel super strong!
: Ah, Flonne, you can't use healing spells anymore.
: So? I've got an axe!
: Not our problem is she dies.
: Oh hey, I didn't know this place had a basement.
: That's the part of every tower's structure you idiot! They have to dig downwards to stablize it.
: I learned something new today!
While the dark blue may look nice, the place is still ugly.
: Do you think these were the grave robbers Garland was talking about?
: Regardless, they are grave robbers, so we should hand them some justice.
WHAM!
: WAH! I've got 2 HP left!
: Ah ha ha!
We won with Flonne barely alive, but to add salt to the wound, Recca is kill shortly after by a difficult to disarm trap.
We escape regardless. However, burned a slight hole in the purse with Recca's death.
: One day later...
: Okay Black Mage, can you just mention what we're going to the second floor for?
: Just some slight revenge.
: He's holding that knife rather closely again.
.
.
.
: Care for another round?
: You know it, asshat.
: 5!
: 10!
: RESET!
: 6!
: 11!
: RESET!
: 9!
: 9!
: RESET!
: 6!
: 4!
: AH HA HA! Give me that 100 gold!
: Screw you. Give me that 100 gold now.
NEW GAME!
: Snake eyes...
: Double sixes.
: RESET!
And so on...
5 wins later and a billion loses and resets we have enough for Sanger to get Plate Mail.
: 0 AC! Let's see them hit me through that!
: Regardless, I'm tired. It's feels like it's been a week and a half yet it's only been 5 hours. Sun is setting anyway.
: True, we need rest.
: Zzzzzz....
: ....heh...
: Oh you're think we're done with this update? We're got one teeny part left. See, Sanger decided to leave the inn during the night.
: Heh heh.
: And went on a murder spree.
(Sanger's theme wasn't violent enough for this, so instead I link you to Dragonforce's Through Flames and Fire in Mario Paint to listen to as I kick ass in classic style. Download the mp3 here.)
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill count: 2
EP Total Gain: 100
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill count: 5
EP Total Gain: 175
Sanger: CLAYMORE!
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill count: 6
EP Total Gain: 200
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill count: 10
EP Total Gain: 300
Goblin Pvt. x3
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill count: 13
EP Total Gain: 375
Goblin x 2
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 15
EP Total Gain: 425
Mushroom x4
: Real men always use the same Epic Quote when they enter battle!
Kill Count: 19
EP Total Gain: 485
: Oh, hello Sanger, what are you doing here at midnight?
: Level me up!
: HA HA HA! My blade shall pierce the hearts of evil! Back in!
Thief x5
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 24
EP Total Gain: 735
Bats x6
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 30
EP Total Gain: 885
Mushroom x5
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 35
EP Total Gain: 960
Mushroom x4
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 39
EP Total Gain: 1020
Bats x6
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 45
EP Total Gain: 1170
Spirit x5
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 50
EP Total Gain: 1295
: BATTLE AXE! And -1 AC!
Mushroom x4
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 54
EP Total Gain: 1355
Mushroom x2
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 56
EP Total Gain: 1385
Spirit x5
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 61
EP Total Gain: 1510
Goblin Pvt. x4
: I am Sanger Zonvolt, the Sword That Smites Evil!
Kill Count: 65
EP Total Gain: 1610
Bat x6
: I am Sanger- hack! Weez... too... much... yelling...
Kill Count: 71
EP Total Gain: 1760
: Woo, geez. Can't go on. Sleep... need sleep...