Let's Play Touhou For No Reason in Particular!

[CarefreeCat]

I was bored.  :yukkuri:

Let's Go Kill a Vampire Girl For No Reason In Particular!

Stage 1

Rumia:  Hello there.! May I eat you?
Reimu: O_O
Rumia: You see, I just have a certain taste for people. They taste like chicken!
Reimu: Sorry, you can't eat me.
Rumia: Pleeeeaaasssseee?
Reimu: No.
Rumia: Why not?
Reimu: Because you are just a random side character that has no impact on the plot whatsoever.
Rumia: *drops dead due to the fact that she's too stupid to understand the rules of the fourth wall*
Reimu: *shrugs* That was easy.

Stage 2
Reimu: .....
Daiyousei: ....
Reimu: Hey look, another non-plot related character that has no lines in the game and had no name until fans gave her one!
Daiyousei: ...*also dies because of over-complication of the fourth wall*
Reimu: Was that really too complicated?
Guy that controls the text inside asterisks: Pretty much.
Cirno: *comes outta nowhere* EYE LEIK FREEZING FROGZ.
Reimu: Good for you....
Cirno: EYE LEIK ICE.
Reimu:....
Cirno: EYE'M TEH STRONGEST.
Reimu: Bet you're not the smartest...
Cirno: YESH EYE AM, EYE HAVE MAH OWN MATH CLASS. IT'Z PERFECT. WE LEARN ABOUT BUSSES.
Reimu: Yeah? What's one plus one?
Cirno: *dies from over complicated math problem...and actually trying to use her brain...stupid 9...*

Stage 3

Hong Meiling: Darn, gotta go! *runs away*
Reimu: Wait...I don't even know...what just...I didn't even get to...lolwut?
---------2 HOURS OF GAMEPLAY LATER----------
Meiling: Crap, It's a shrine maiden!
Reimu: Hey, are you the one who's been covering the sky up with the scarlet mist?
Meiling: I am Hong Meiling, the guard of the Scarlet Devil Mansion. My mistress started this.
Reimu: Hong Meiwha? How about i just call you China?
Meiling: That's the name of a country!!!
Reimu: Heheh...I know all about those memes the fans spread about you on the internet....China.
Meiling: *screaming at the top of her lungs* IT'S MEILING!!! MEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIINNNNNG!!!!!! *chokes and falls*
Reimu: Too easy...

Stage 4
Reimu: Hey, another non plot related character that doesn't have any lines in the game, but has a tremendously huge fanbase anyway!
Koakuma: .....*annoyed to death*
Reimu: I'm not annoying...
Patchouli: O MAH GAWD, your annoying level...
Reimu: What? What?
Patchouli: IT'S OVER 9000!!! *has asthma attack*
Reimu: I hate that meme....-_-
Stage 5
Sakuya: *carrying a stack of 10 plates*
Reimu: Hey, do you need help with that?
Sakuya: *drops all of the plates* ...Crap.*goes to get a mop*
Reimu: Okay...
-----5 MINUTES LATER-----
Sakuya: Okay, I have the broom..*trips and falls*
Reimu: Are you okay- Heyyyyyy, are those pads?
Sakuya: N-No!!!
Reimu: Uh-huh.
Sakuya: They're not!!!
Reimu: Yeah, they are. What, are you just uncomfortable with your-
Sakuya: SHUT UP!!!! *runs away*
Reimu: You can't deny it forever!!!!

Stage 6
Sakuya: W-Wait up!
Reimu: What?
Sakuya: Can I have change for a 5 dollar bill?
Reimu: Can I borrow your pads?
Sakuya: O_O *dies from exposure to incredibly strange fetish*
Reimu: I don't see anything wrong with wanting to borrow them...
Remilia: I do.
Reimu: Aren't you the one who started the mist?
Remilia: Yeah.
Reimu: Why'd you do it?
Remilia: 'Cause I felt like it.
Reimu: Oh. Well, can you take it away?
Remilia: Buy me an umbrella and ya got yourself a deal.
Reimu: That was the easiest boss fight ever.....

Extra Stage
Patchouli: O_O
Reimu: Is something wrong, Patchy...?
Patchouli: O_O
Reimu: *pokes Patchy*
Patchouli: *falls over* O_O
Reimu: Mmkay. *walks away*
Flandre: Wanna play a game?
Reimu: Sure *takes out a Monopoly game board*
----HALF AN HOUR LATER----
Flandre: Yay! I won!
Reimu: But you blew up all of the game peices...
----MEANWHILE----
Remilia: Let me try again....China. >=3
Meiling: That's the name of a country, my lady!!! D=<

NEXT: Let's Get Rid Of The Winter For No Reason In Particular!!! (A parody of Perfect Cherry Blosssom!)

[Bias Bus]

...

...Is it supposed to be written like this?

[CarefreeCat]

Yeah. It's a different format(forgot what it's called)'cause I'm too lazy to type it up normally.

[Drake]

no thank you

[Thata no Guykoro]

Yeah. It's a different format(forgot what it's called)'cause I'm too lazy to type it up normally.

Script format, since that's the form used for play/TV/movie scripting.

[CarefreeCat]

no thank you

But I did it for the lulz.....

Let's Get Rid Of The Winter For No Reason In Particular!

Stage 1
Reimu: *humming a little tune* Oh, crap. It's baka again.
Cirno: EYE'M BACK.
Reimu: Yeah, ummm....
Cirno: EYE'M THE STRONGEST.
Reimu: As I was saying...
Cirno: EYE'M A FAIRY.
Reimu: As I was saying, you aren't supposed to speak in this game. You have no lines in this game at all. *waits for Cirno to die from exposure to Reimu breaking the fourth wall*
Cirno: THAT TRICK DOESN'T WORK ON ME ANYMORE, 'CAUSE EYE'M THE STRONGEST!
Reimu: What's four plus four?
Cirno: *explodes*
Letty: Finally, she's gone.
Reimu: Who are you?
Letty: Calm down. I'm only an exact clone of Cirno that's a bit easier in the game. =3 *explodes*
Reimu: C'mon. It's not even funny anymore. Get some more material.
Me: ....*throws a pie at Reimu*

Stage 2
Reimu: O MAH GAWD IT'Z A CAT GIRL!!!
Chen: What's wrong with that?
Reimu: Meow?
Chen: Wha?
Reimu: Meow!!! Meow, meow meow, me-ow!
Chen: ...*walks away*
Reimu: Dang. I thought I was a perfect cat whisperer.

Stage 3
Reimu: Hey, I remember you.
Alice: Wha?!? How do you know me?
Reimu: Easy. You were in that one video, you know, Marisa Stole The Precious Thing.
Alice: NOOOO!!! You weren't supposed to see that!!! *runs away and weeps in a dark corner*
Reimu: Works every time. >=3


Stage 4
Reimu: *sigh* Not another speechless character...
Lily:.....
Prismriver Sisters: LISTEN TO OUR MUSIC OR DIE! *plays Marisa Stole The Precious Thing*
Alice: *comes out of nowhere* SHUT UP!!!! STOP IT!!! *picks up Lily, throws her at the Prismriver Sisters, and continues to sulk in a corner*
Prismriver Sisters and Lily: *UBER-PWNED*
Reimu: O_O

[Chaore]

Script format, since that's the form used for play/TV/movie scripting.

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. At least not proper script. There are no Act cues, Setting cues, Actions are not designated by asterisks, and the dialogue doesn't read like a god damn CHAT LOG.

Essentially this is 'Shitty Chat Roleplayer' format. It happens to be so far detached from actual writing I may have to consider asking Rawro if this counts as actual fiction.

[Alfred F. Jones]

It happens to be so far detached from actual writing I may have to consider asking Rawro if this counts as actual fiction.

It... really doesn't. Still, it could be something that our users may enjoy contributing to. Oh, Ammy~

[Sen]

Reimu: Hey, another non plot related character that doesn't have any lines in the game, but has a tremendously huge fanbase anyway!

 :smug:

[Esifex]

Waaaaaait. This isn't even in the library. Why are the Librarians debating on whether or not to summarize this?

[Chaore]

Waaaaaait. This isn't even in the library. Why are the Librarians debating on whether or not to summarize this?

It was before Rawro moved it. Explanation given!

[Tengukami]

Mind if I offer some constructive criticism? I think if you stopped thinking of the dialogue as a vehicle for delivering memes (e.g., pads, over 9000, etc.) and instead explored alternate dialogue the players could have within the game plots, this could actually be fun and enjoyable. It's a good idea. Just dial down the fandumb.