~Bunbunmaru News~ > Letters to the Editor
Tell Me Why I Should Remain Your Head Admin
Dead Princess Sakana:
I dunno if you should go back to being head admin, that is for you to decide.
It's your decision whether the outcome is worth all the trouble, work and probably headaches you've got to go through.
But I'd definitely like to see you stay in the community.
That is, of course, as long as there are people you like here, and things you find fun to do.
It always hurt to see the person responsible for giving everyone here this great place to stay being the one shut out most from the community.
Maybe you should just become a normal member for the time being, so that you can take part in things without having that cursed head-admin-stigma floating over everything you do.
That may sound a bit too optimistic, but it may get people to realize that you're as much of a normal human as everyone else.
Of course, it would be even better if you could take part in the fun even as a head-admin.
communist unity (comm-unity):
This is probably a bad idea as it's 3:36 AM in the morning, but let's do this.
Kind of sad seeing some of the disrespect you've gotten; there's legitimate criticism, and then there's just being an ass. In most cases? It's usually the latter. Starting up a proper webforum and IRC server is quite the task, and getting an actual community for those is a pretty respectable accomplishment -- it's probably more than I could ever do on my own self-motivation and work. and I respect you for that, you've given us a nice forum here. That's something to be proud of.
I'll admit I was pretty annoyed at the joke as well, with the whole downtime part of it; I dislike most april's fools jokes in general though, that's just me. Of course, that pretty much went away when it was revealed that the downtime was actually legitimate, as you were upgrading the entire forum.
Sadly, there's always going to be assholes and ignorant kids who hate positions of power solely because they're positions of power. You've just got to ignore them, then they can go cause trouble and get their jollies somewhere else. I highly doubt that most users here hate you, TSO. There's just happens to be an extremely vocal minority that do.
As if you should stay or not, personally I think you should remain head admin, moderator, or at the very least an active member of the community. If the pressure gets too much you can always take a little break and hand the duties to one of the other staff. Ultimately though, it's up to you. It's your choice, not ours.
(Personally? Anyone who doesn't forgive TSO for what may or may not be a slightly tasteless joke by now is seriously kidding themselves and needs to seek professional help. It's was a relatively joke on april's fools; it's not like TSO killed your dog or something. Chill out.)
Gappy:
I'm not sure if you know this or not, but after appraising things, it seems those who think negatively of you in particular are only in the minority. A very small (but loud) minority. Most users have only heard of you by name and thus know little to nothing about you. And there's a good number of users who actually think very highly of you and are appreciative for everything. And the few people I've asked about you specifically as an admin can't name any specific faults at all (at least, backed with evidence. Such people still call you a tyrant, but they have no proof to back up their claims). The best they can come up with is 'the staff in general' (and for this they can actually provide evidence, but not to your name specifically), which I guess means there's a little infamy-by-association going on here. Problem is, you're not seen around the forum much and thus the impressionable newcomers only hear the worst about you from said loud minority, however baseless.
As for people who think negatively about the forums and staff as a whole, there are far more of those, but as I said, not many pin it particularly on you.
You must understand, the April Fools joke you yourself contrived did not paint you in a good light at all. While people were sceptical at first, we staff did a good job at convincing people it was real. Once they started believing it was true, it is no surprise they came to think you were cold-hearted enough to do something like that. Now we all know it was a joke, no? No harm done. We did go a little overboard and most of us staff members have gone about making both personal and formal apologies. Maybe a little help and effort from all of us together can help push everyone along to get over that little episode.
In answer to your question, harsh as it seems, I don't think anybody here can really tell you the answer. It is for you and yourself to decide whether or not to return as the head. None of us can decide for you, tell you what to do, or give you a reason to. We can give you our opinions and support, but in the end it is your choice.
Myself? Despite what happened, I decided to stay. It took me some consideration, introspection and general support and advice from friend to realize that, in the long term, I would better serve the community as a staff member than leaving outright. As such I owe everyone an apology for my rashness and lack of foresight. In the past 2 weeks I've seen that wrongs can be righted. That you and other fellow staff members fulfil promises. And everyone has begun moving forwards. You proved yourself right when you told me 'things can be fixed'. Now I believe that. And I believe things on your end can be fixed too. It just requires the willingness to reach out on both sides. And now that you've put all your troubles on the table, hopefully others will come along and put theirs on the table too, and, somehow, we can all reach at least a compromise. You know full well us staff are here to help you do just that and bridge whatever gap you perceive to exist between you and the community. So take heart, TSO!
EDIT: I would also like to add that ever since becoming a staff member I got to see more of what goes on behind the scenes, all the active work and effort that goes into keeping the forum ticking over nicely. It's a privilege to be able to get to know and understand you and the other staff members better. However, unfortunately, that privilege is only allowed to the few who have access to the staff forums. Which is why I, again, emphasize that all that needs to be done is to reach out and allow people to understand, to make people aware and to allow them to overcome the baseless prejudice and misconceptions about you and the staff.
EDIT2: Actually, Sakana suggested a really good idea. Why don't you take a break from being admin for a while and try going about as a normal member? Post in the forums and come on #touhou-meido as a member, rather than an admin. Show everyone that you're as human and friendly as the rest of us, as you've shown me and the rest of the staff. As I said, reach out and help people overcome their baseless prejudice and misconceptions.
Hello Purvis:
I've always been straight with you we've spoken, but admittedly we've not spoken much.
Furienfy has said a lot of of what I thought about the incident itself; it did feel like you were on edge enough to do it. You have, from what you've revealed to us, a hell of a stressful life. I would not have been surprised if that stress had gotten to you, and when disparate mods and admins whose opinions I trust, were fully acting as though it were the case, I was pretty much fooled. The doubt it was real turned to hope it was fake and the grim feeling it probably wasn't. And, yes, that engendered some black thoughts about you, as up til that point I had believed you a benevolent leader and felt betrayed. I don't remember how much or how intensely I vocalized them. Either way, I owe you an apology for that.
Do you want to return and chill with peoples here? I presume you do, or this thread wouldn't exist. I would like to have you back. If someone does not, well, that's their issue. You have as much right to be here as any of us.
Should you be head admin? Well, do you want to be? From what I understand, you hate the stress of it. I don't think anyone would be upset with you if you declined to do it. If you want to, I have no problems with it.
Anyways, you would like us to speak up? I suppose I shall say a thing I've kept to myself for awhile. Since the whole incident with whether to move #meido to ppirc, I think you have been too quick to declare people hate you and are trying to undermine you. You cite that people talk behind your back as a reason. That, unfortunately, is natural. we expect people to hold grudges when we say bad things to them, especially things that are bad and have some aspect of truth to it. I would say most of the people here do this, myself included. I am very aware of how hard it is not to hold a grudge when someone says unpleasant things about me, and I know that just disinclines people to do it. But I'm drifting from my point. I think you are too willing to decry others as hating you. I felt this personally when you declared CPMC and #meido as some sort of rebel secessionist faction that is out to get you. And that made me feel rather unfairly demonized. I am sure I'm not the only one who felt this way and did not deserve it.
However, despite this, I would still like to see you come back. If you still wish to be head admin, I am happy to have you in the throne. If not, I am fine with this too. But, whatever you choose, I do want you to stay. You deserve to be here if you want to.
Tengukami:
I know I already said words to this effect on the staff board, but I'll say it again, publicly.
You made for us a home that's everything I could ask for in a Touhou community. Without this place, I'd have to go back to Poosh, and I'd rather eat my own hands than go back there. For this place and everything you've done, I'm very, very grateful.
I do think you might be letting a few very loud people drown out the whole, in this case. The prevailing attitude towards you is a positive one, as far as I've seen.
If you feel you need to take a break, no one would hold it against you. But I think nearly all of us would be sad to see you go permanently.