Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First

~Hakurei Shrine~ > Kosuzu's Grand Bookstore

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LogosOfJ:
Eh, this topic is one of my many weak points. Still, I should get back into the habit of writing.
Aya?s news story practically writes itself.

Something Jagged This Way Comes

Love Spat between Witches Results in Arboreal Devastation
==
Approximately one hour after dusk two days ago, a massive explosion occurred in the Forest of Magic. Kappa observers estimate an energy release of about 50 gigajoules (about 4.5 billion jo-kan for the traditionalists out there) or 50 times the energy release of the average lightning bolt. As the source of the explosion was obscured by a bright flare, 50 concurrent bolts of lightning were an early hypothesis put forth by observers.
Heaven has remained silent on this matter, though the precedent of Iku Nagae has established the possibility of such weather manipulation. The potential for manipulation of Gensokyo?s politics through plausibly deniable weather manipulation cannot be ignored. It is the duty of every self-respecting and self-preserving Tengu to maintain a higher level of vigilance in weather observation and forecasting.

However, further investigation by yours truly has ruled out the possibility of (direct) nefarious Heavenly manipulation in this affair. Instead, the sordid (and torrid) affair can be traced directly to none other than the loose morals of two of the most infamous residents of the Forest of Magic.

A certain Kawashiro Nitori has approximated the center of the blast zone. Unsurprisingly, the explosion was centered a the home of none other than Kirisame Marisa, the mercenary ?incident solver? who, as many of you have personally witnessed, is a criminal and consummate liar, and has been charged by the authorities of the mountain with unlawful entry, blasphemy, impiety, unprovoked assault of public workers, and littering. Other jurisdictions have compiled a long list of larcenies, both covert and violent, as well as a general disregard of the well-being of others. Though the new gods of the mountain have found it within their vast generosity to permanently offer their protection to their ?guest?, it is only a matter of time before this troublemaker runs out of favor.

Anyhow, this Kirisame Marisa is also well-known for womanizing and general ribaldries. She has extended her repugnant affections towards a great number of figures, including Hakurei Reimu, Flandre Scarlet, Kazami Yuuka, Yakumo Yukari, the aforementioned Kawashiro Nitori and many others.

Among this large group, two notables, against better judgment, have taken a course of action that is not the sensible firm rejection followed by judicious application of extreme force. One is Alice Margatroid, an immigrant magician and dollmaker, the other infamous resident of the Forest of magic. The other is Patchouli Knowledge, librarian of the Scarlet Devil Manse. The case of Alice Margatroid is understandable if not forgivable; there are many rumors surrounding her specialty of dollmaking, and her close ties to Makai royalty have frightened away collaborators and suitors. Kirisame Marisa is one of the few people who, unlike the right-minded majority, are not unnerved by Miss Margatroid?s unrelenting pursuit of producing a living doll and the blasphemous experiments in the divine secrets of sapience, sentience, and soul necessary in such an endeavor. The two appear to be emotionally close, and it is conceivable that, in her desperate loneliness, Miss Margatroid has become attached to her neighbor. This attachment may have been enough to prompt violent jealousy of the magnitude witnessed.

Patchouli Knowledge, on the other hand, has no such excuse. As a resident of the Scarlet Devil Manse, this ?Librarian? likely enjoys considerable respect in mage society. The power of her sponsors, the Scarlet siblings, is near-guarantee that she will never be wanting for materials or companionship, and her employment of a succubus (insistently misidentified as a ?minor devil?) as an assistant seems to be ample assurance that she does not lack other forms of ?companionship?. Her on-off collaboration with Kirisame Marisa would be understandable if she were seeking asylum from those hostile to her work; instead, she has gone as far as to extend personal invitation to the aforementioned ?ordinary witch?, despite the fact that the library of the Scarlet Devil Mansion has been robbed multiple times by Miss Kirisame. The residents of the Scarlet Devil Manse have refused to comment on this matter. Attempts at interviewing said librarian have resulted in threats of bodily harm from the gatekeeper, maid, mistress of the house, and the librarian herself.

Within the charred remains of the forest within the blast radius, books from the library of Miss Knowledge and a number of dolls (in varying condition) of Miss Margatroid?s make have been found and conclusively identified by their owners. It appears that the explosion may have been caused by either unseen interaction between the magical constructs of these two magicians (unlikely) or ?experimentation? by Miss Kirisame (more likely), but the most plausible scenario appears to be a power struggle between the two Youkai magicians over the affections of Miss Kirisame. The myriad magical devices found in the blast radius could have been a number of surveillance and combat implements passed on to the thief in the form of gifts or intentionally unguarded items.

Miss Alice Margatroid was available for an interview yesterday. She has denied allegations of intimate relations with Miss Kirisame and maintains that she was ?not even tangentially involved? in the explosion and has advanced the opinion that ?such catastrophes are inevitable, considering that Marisa plays fast and loose with all of her magical experiments?.

Nearing the center of the explosion, strange ?stone? similar to mortar and large quantities of low-grade steel and iron have been found. The metal appears unsuitable for weaponry but is obviously artificial. Odd tubes have been identified as ?piping? by a number of Kappa, and the shrine maiden of the wind shrine has shown familiarity with these materials, mentioning ?PVC? , ?Concrete?, and ?Rebar?.

Kirisame Marisa and a sizeable number of items that were once stored in her house are nowhere to be found, to the great sorrow of her many victims.
Alice's journal excerpt (later delivered to Patchouli Knowledge, the Hakurei Shrine, and the House of Yakumo by one-use solid-fuel rocket doll)
===
Marisa's house exploded today.

I cannot sense her aura.

I believe it is safe to assume that that she is gone.

The area tastes of death; the color of magic is alternately antiseptic white and pitch black. I do not know the cause, but this appears to be some sort of magical "decay". Thankfully, it is receding.

There are artifacts scattered around the blast zone. They are wonderful. They are terrific. They are hence horrifying. The flora of the forest dies around them, but some species survive. Decay travels with little rhyme or reason.

I suggest and investigation. Whatever decay has occurred has stopped for now. I shall keep you updated.

Excerpt of Scarlet Devil Mansion Library internal report, authored by Koakuma (later delivered to Alice Matrigold and Kawashiro Nitori)
===
Anyhow, instruments caught a large magical spike this evening lasting about 1.5 seconds. There were two major anomalities:
1. The spike was not followed by ordinary dissipation, despite the fact that there was no buildup period beforehand, ruling out most dimensional travel spells. Moreover, the spike was of an absurd magnitude; instrument error was initially believed to be responsible.
2. The spike was concurrent with a fluctuation of ambient magic exactly opposite of the location of the burst. Cursory analysis shows that the pattern of fluctuations are roughly consistent with that predicted by fluid model of magic and Navier-Stokes equations, with the spike as a point source.

About half a minute afterwards, there was a flash of light, followed by a loud boom. This was likely observed by most of Gensokyo. In light of the magical anomalies, I would like to suggest further investigation.
"Reimuuu...."

Hakurei Reimu did not expect Yakumo Yukari to arrive so late. Her earlier trials have shown that said eight-clouded sage took disruptions in the Great Hakurei Border with an immediacy reminiscent of personal pain. There was more or less one reason why such a large fluctuation did not prompt an abduction and a campaign..

"What did you do to the border this time? Are you going incontinent, as it befits your age?" snapped Reimu. The comment on age might have been unwarranted, but so was Yukari's decision to "snap" the border with an intensity that left Reimu dry-retching for a terrifying five seconds before a late dinner.

"Oh? You felt it too? My, Reimu, you grow apace."

Reimu did a double take and, deciding that knowledge was power, asked incredulously, "Wait, it wasn't you?"

Yukari smiled and tittered before responding, "Why, you know I wouldn't do something that would upset your precious little stomach without telling you first, right?"

A dirty glare was the response. Yukari continued as if nothing occured.

"What happened? A little frog jumped out of its well."

Tokyo-II University Times
===
Mysterious Explosion in Residential Areas, No Injuries

Yesterday night, an explosion occurred, apparently centered on the apartment of Maribel Hearn. Despite an explosion consistent with that of military-grade plastic explosives, Miss Hearn and her guest Renko Usami were unharmed. A third person, identified as Marisa Kirisame by Miss Hearn and Usami, was found on the lawn outside the apartment. The two inside report Miss Kirisame being thrown out the window of the apartment before the explosion.

Miss Kirisame was miraculously uninjured, despite the presence of a noticeable impact crater around her. She carries with her documentation that claims that she is a student from the United States spending a year in Tokyo-II university, but no staff recognize her despite clear records of her presence in the student information systems. Further investigation is pending.

The six adjacent apartments were damaged, but their residents were not present and hence physically unharmed. Coincidentally, the computers (laptops/desktops) of those caught in the explosion were unharmed due to their locations in the affected apartments.

GuyYouMetOnline:

--- Quote from: Religion on May 14, 2012, 02:21:24 AM ---Her partner, Buddhist nun and groundskeeper Kyouko Yasodani, echoed Miss Lorelei's sentiments.

--- End quote ---

*Insert loudest groan in the world here*

Iced Fairy:
Judgement

With the reversion to simpler judging we can bring you the results quicker. And since I'm a judge instead of a contestant I can comment on matters without pointing out how much more awesome I am, because I'm the strongest. So let us begin!

While I am sad to not see Akyuu's news real on the "youkai menace," we had some solid entrants this time. Still in the end the Pulitzer only goes to one Tengu. And this time, that tengu is....

LogosOfJ you matched the douchebag Aya reporting style fairly well, but the add ons were what sealed the deal. A very nice followup, and the differences in styles was excellent. You deserve the wordsmith title. Sect you had a strong second with your article. Some of the bounces in explanations could have been smoothed a bit but all in all it was good for a chuckle.

Guy you had a perfect Glenn Beck, but satire must reach above and beyond it's source material. It's especially hard given you don't have access to the visuals, but I think with a push in higher absurdity you could've make that a much stronger work. Raikaria, you had a good concept, but you would have been better served by putting it in script form or straight QA interview style. If you had quotes you could have expanded the stories personality a lot more, as it is there's not much story to it. Similarly Santora, your ideas were weakened by a slip in writing. Your introduction of Mima broke flow badly, and I'm afraid that really broke up your story.

And because I know it'll be commented on if I skip it, Capth, your story had no story.

And thus the news articles are finished. In addition, since this thread is wandering towards 1000 posts, soon it shall be finished, ready to be packed up and shipped to KGB. Which brings me to our next topic.

Endings

Every sixty years, the purple cherry blossoms bloom then rain down, signifying the death and rebirth of the world. This contest is about something coming to an end. A meal, an era, a dream, a fight, a song, a life. The tallest mountain or a single blossom. All of these things are acceptable subjects. Writers, tell us what happens here at the end of this thread.

Ah yes, the ending for this contest is within two weeks. The 27th.

GuyYouMetOnline:

--- Quote from: Iced Fairy on May 14, 2012, 07:08:28 AM ---Guy you had a perfect Glenn Beck, but satire must reach above and beyond it's source material. It's especially hard given you don't have access to the visuals, but I think with a push in higher absurdity you could've make that a much stronger work.

--- End quote ---

Check out the one she does in Orphan. My first Glenn Beck Aya scene, and in my opinion, easily the best. I think the one for the Facebook challenge was better than this one, too. It just gets harder every time I do it. There's no way Glenn Beck could keep coming up with all that shit unless he's genuinely that crazy.

Phlegeth:

--- Quote from: Iced Fairy on May 14, 2012, 07:08:28 AM ---Similarly Santora, your ideas were weakened by a slip in writing. Your introduction of Mima broke flow badly, and I'm afraid that really broke up your story.

--- End quote ---

I agree, I felt a little off writing Mima's part, but I shrugged it off as paranoia xD.

?Every sixty years there?s a great surge in flowers,? an elderly looking woman in red was speaking and beside her was another elderly woman in green and behind them were there children. ?Last time we were caught off guard and went randomly attacking everything. But this time we knew better. Let?s set back and enjoy it. May this be a start of grand tradition!? She smiled weakly and everyone cheered.

?Take it off!? a witch yelled from the audience and everyone laughed.

?Master?? I turned and saw a lunar rabbit with long purple hair holding out a sake dish.

?Remember where these flowers came from,? Yamaxanadu was on stage and started speaking.

?Here comes a long winded lecture,? Yukari said beside me. I shushed her.

?No long winded lecture this time. Just a reminder, to slow down and do good. And as long as you have those you care about near you, everything will be all right.?

I looked around at all the smiling faces surrounding me and the beautiful country side that full of life. This is a moment I could never forget.

* * *
I?m old; I?ve lived a very long time. I?ve watched fish crawl out of the ocean and develop and change the face of this planet to their own liking three times. Call me nostalgic, but the first ones really were the best. Humans they were called, and I was among them for a brief time. They almost brought about the end of this planet many times near the end, but eventually they became bored and moved on to the far expanses of space. Not everyone could go of course, and the few that stayed lasted a few hundred generations, but they were replaced by an even crazier species that evolved from birds.

Now those birds did some truly stupid things with this planet. Even at their worst, the humans didn?t even come close to what those birds did in just five thousand years. And many generations later, these lizards showed up. The birds and lizards fought for control and there was this cataclysm. Sad to say, we were powerless to stop it and The Earth has become uninhabitable. Only those of us who exist outside the mortal boundaries exist. I?m Eirin Yagokoro and this is the last day of Earth.

?It?s so hot, I could almost die,? I turned around and bubbily pink haired figure floating towards me.

?So this is it?? another voice behind her spoke up. We turned and saw no one. ?Boo,? a voice whispered in my ear.

?Yakamo! Grow up!? I yelled pushing her away.

?Hehehe, after all this time, I still got it,? Yukari smirked.

?So this is where you all are,? the last survivor showed up. She was the smallest person of our group, Yamaxanadu. ?Why here??

?This spot is special,? Yukari said.

It's true, all those millennia ago, on this spot there stood a shrine. In the grand scheme of things, it didn?t last that long. Memories are funny, no matter how much time passes I could never forget the time spent in Gensokyo. A slight smile escaped my lips.

?Oh, what are you smiling about?? Yuyuko asked.

?Just thinking about a long time ago,? I sighed.

?I repeat, so this is it?? Yukari said again.

?Yes, my boss said we only have three hours before he comes and reaps the planet,? Yamaxanadu said.

We all looked at each other and nodded, ?Three hours,? we all repeated. Yukari summoned a gap and produced three large beers.

?Something I?ve been curious about,? Yuyuko said and turned her attention to me. ?Where is your princess??

?Hm? She made amends with the other Lunarians and left when they did,? I said.

?You didn?t go?? Yamaxanadu asked.

?And leave these two unsupervised,? I thumbed at Yuyuko and Yukari.

?Moi?? Yukari asked in an overly exaggerated voice.

?Especially you, you?re the reason the lunarians left in the first place and almost destroyed the world,? I glared at her. I looked up at the sky. Surprisingly the moon was still there. But it was now the barren wasteland it always looked like. Just like the planet it orbits.

?Hey, I only knocked the moon out of orbit a little bit,? she said and held up her thumb and index finger.

?But what would it matter if she destroyed the world if you were gone?? Yuyuko asked.

?I?ve invested a lot into this planet, and why didn?t you two leave?? I asked.

?Well at the time I was still bound by the Saigyou Ayakashi,? Yuyuko said.

?And I can?t leave without my buddy,? Yukari said putting her arm around Yuyuko.

?What about now,? Yamaxanadu asked. ?You know, my boss can easily move you anywhere you want.?

We all looked at each other and shook our heads, ?No thank you.?

?We?re going to see this through to the end,? I said.

?The end,? Yukari started, ?brought about because these two species could not cooperate and share the planet. They were always trying to one up the other. The one polluted the water so in turn the other polluted the sky. When that surprisingly backfired, they attacked the only thing left. The sun.?

?This planet could have gone another couple millions of years if not for that,? I grumbled.

?Millions of years,? Yuyuko started thinking, ?Say when was the last time we were all together in this spot?? Yuyuko asked.

?If I recall, it was at a flower viewing,? I said and closed my eyes.

?I remember that flower viewing now,? Yamaxanadu said.

?Everything is all right,? I said.

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