~Hakurei Shrine~ > Kosuzu's Grand Bookstore
Weekly Writing Challenge Thread the First
FinnKaenbyou:
This isn't getting the attention it deserves, so allow me to throw my hat in.
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"It looks like such a wonderful day outside..."
Hieda no Akyu had to be content with the warm rays making their way through her window, much to her disappointment. The chronicles of Gensokyo remained unwritten, and until she had finished this duty her life's work would never be done. Well, technically it was her lives' work, but that just sounded awkward.
She was currently working on the segment covering the varied sorts of youkai that filled Gensokyo. Anyone with a hint of sense would have told her that they were far too numerous to write about, but that didn't stop Akyu. Still, with the small amount of money she had there was only so far she could finance her goal; people were not as sympathetic to her plea as she would have liked, and only Miss Kamishirasawa would ever drop in and welcome her.
Knock, knock!
Though she recalled that Keine never hit the door that fiercely.
"Hm?"
Akyu rose to her feet, unused to guests at this time of day. She tiptoed across the room, avoiding the various volumes lying strewn around, and carely pulled open the screen-door.
The first thing she noticed about the man is that he was not a village resident. She concluded this solely from the fact she'd never seen him before, and no-one could argue with Akyu's memory for faces. His skin was several shades darker than that of anyone she'd ever met, and the suit he wore was far too sophisticated for these parts. He filled it easily, given the bulge of a stomach he had.
"Hieda of Akyu? It is my greatest pleasure to make your acquaintance, and I come to you with a proposal in context but actually an appeal for your unreserved assistance in consummating an urgent transaction requiring maximum confidence."
Akyu blinked twice as she processed exactly what the man had said to her. When was the last time anyone had spoken to her with such verbosity?
"U-Um. Come in, please...?"
Not sure how to respond, she allowed the man to enter, nervously ensuring he sat a good distance away from her. His eyes glanced around the room only momentarily before they turned back to her.
"My name is Mr Ngobe Ngayaka Chief Credit Officer (CCO), Standard Chartered Bank Bulawayo, Zimbabwe. On December 6, 1999, a Foreign consultant/contractor with the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission, Mr. Erich Kakutasu, made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at Fifteen Billion Japanese Yen in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, I sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Kakutasu Company, that Mr. Kakutasu died from a Saboten accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a Will, and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless. I therefore made further investigation
and discovered that Mr. Kakutasu did not declare any next of kin or relations in all his official ocuments,including his Bank Deposit paperwork in our Bank."
Akyu's eyes narrowed slightly. Zimbabwe? Had she ever heard of that place? It would explain his unusual skin tone. And Japanese Yen at least she'd heard of - it was the currency the world outside the border used, and it was still accepted as currency in Gensokyo today. The man started to twiddle his thumbs as he continued speaking.
"From past experiences, I know that no one will ever come forward to
claim the deceased funds. According to Zimbabwean Law, at the expiration
of 5 years, the funds will be unclaimable and revert to the
ownership of the Zimbabwe Government as contribution to the Defence
ministry if nobody applies to claim the fund. In order to avert this
development, I in conjunction with a colleague (the Chief Operating
Officer in the bank) now seek your permission to allow an attorney do a
backdated will in your name, so that the funds would be released to you
as the new owner (on behalf of me and my colleague). I am visiting you because, citizens resident to Zimbabwe we cannot operate a foreign account or
have an account that is more than Zw$500,000.Consequently, I will
present you as the owner of the funds so you can be able to claim it on
our behalf with the help of an attorney."
Akyu's mouth slowly started to open, her eyes widening. This man may not have been speaking his native language, but his message was clear. Fifteen billion yen...she'd never seen that much money across all her lifetimes. Was this too good to be true?
"This is simple. I will like you to provide immediately your full name, address and Gensokyo Bank Account details, so that an Attorney will
prepare the necessary documents which will put you in place as the
beneficiary of the funds. The money will then be released to your
custody by the bank,for us to share in the ratio of 70% for us and 30%
for you. There is no risk at all as all the paperwork for this
transaction will be done by the Attorney and this will guarantee the
successful execution of this transaction."
The yen signs practically worked their way out of Akyu's brain and into her eyes. Four and a half billion yen!? She could finance herself with lifetimes with money like that!
"A-Are you serious? This isn't a joke, right?!"
He smiled, apparently expecting a response like this.
"No doubt this proposal will make you apprehensive. Please I imploy you
to observe utmost confidentiality and rest assured that this transaction
would be most profitable for both of us. Note also that we shall require
your assistance to invest our share in your country."
"Y-Yes, of course. I know enough about Gensokyo to help you there."
As he handed her a piece of paper to write her details on, Akyu was well aware her hand was shaking. The thought of all that money - the supplies she could buy, the food, the clothes - people wouldn't look at her as a hopeless dreamer anymore. Maybe she could even hire scribes with that sort of money! That would make everything so much easier...
Within a minute she'd written down everything the man needed. He smiled, tucking the piece of paper into his suit. He nodded to her once.
"Thanks and regards. I will have the money transferred to your account shortly."
Akyu nodded in return as she opened the door for him. She couldn't contain the excitement - the mind of a young girl couldn't absorb an event like this without its fair share of squeeing.
"Oh, this is fantastic! I knew this endeavour would pay off! I knew someone would appreciate my work!"
For now, the chronicles could wait. This was her chance to enjoy herself...
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The man quickly made his way out of the Human Village's residential area, making his way into the financial section. This basically equated to a single bank which everyone used, its monopoly unrivalled. It looked almost as if he was about to enter, but he slipped into a back alley one block beforehand.
Thirty seconds later, a figure walked out. It was no elderly man with dark brown skin and a suit - it was a young girl with six wing-like objects emerging from her back; three red, three blue. Her dark black dress matched the long tights on her feet.
She smirked.
"Stupid kid. Targets like that are almost too easy."
She held aloft the paper she'd acquired earlier, listing all the details she would need to empty the account of Hieda no Akyu. It wasn't that much money, but it'd feed her for a week or so.
"Think I'll try that Scarlet Devil place tomorrow. Hear that vampire girl is pretty damn rich..."
And so began the career of Nue Houjuu, Gensokyo's first con artist...
TOUHOU 13
東方金信盗 - Subtle Supposed Scandal
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Spoiler: I have no idea what the real meaning of the three kanji are - I got them as results for Gold, Trust and Theft. :V
Forte Blackadder:
My greetings,
Pardon my rudeness as emailing you, a stranger.
My name is Houraisan Kaguya, believe it or not, I'm a princess. So, 'what would a princess want from me?' you must be thinking. Very well, let me be straight: I'm keeping many ancient treasures that are more valuable than your life, your job and your Walkers crisp pack. I would love to sell the stuffs and buy me a DS Lite. However, my guardian is so strict, she doesn't allow me to get rid of those stupid artifacts. What an old hag, you see?
Therefore, for the sake of my new DS Lite, I want you to help selling those good-for-nothing treasures. The plan is simple: I will have a long conversation with my guardian, giving you enough time to sneak in and job should be done.
We are living in the shrine uphill, not very far from the Human Village, named Hakurei Shrine. I shall place the treasure into the donation box. When you arrive, quickly open it and grab the artifact. My guardian is a sharp person, she may discover you fast so run like you're gonna die.
I don't mind if you consider this mail a scam, since I sent this to many people, looking for help.
Such cruel people will ignore a little cute helpless princess... Oh how life goes.
Anyhow, if you find this interesting and willing to help me, please give me your full name and your bank account, so I will know if you really send me the money afterwards. See? There is no scam, you get the treasure, sell it and send me the money to buy a DS Lite. You can keep the rest. There is no risk, my plan is perfect, and since it's my belonging, you can't have any issue with the cops!
I'll be looking forward to your reply, may the Force be with you.
Gensokyo xx/xx/xxxx
Your Highness,
Teruyo
Alfred F. Jones:
All righty then! It's been a week, and it's time to pass judgment on the submissions!
Our judges for this week have been: Myself, Chaore, and Sakana. Through the power of majority vote, we have come to a decision!
This week's winner is...
:drumroll:
... ICED FAIRY! Your fic was hilarious, and in the words of one of our judges: There just happens to be something about Rumia, Reimu, and Aya splitting the spoils three ways down, and the 'I'll bring the fork and knife so you know its me' part is comedy gold. Enjoy your well-earned SM-- but not for too long >:D
Honorable mention goes to Alice Margatroid. According to one of the other judges: It stays very close to the original while still including a lot of Touhou references. 'Short and awesome' is a good way to describe it.
Thanks to all our contestants for entering! We hope to make this contest a fixture of PSL, and the more entries we get, the better! You are all free to enter as many contests as you want in succession, and you all have an equal shot at winning SM. Here's your writing challenge for this week, submitted by Roukanken:
February 22, 2010: Dr. Komeiji's Traveling Clinic
Despite the title, it doesn't actually have to be Dr. Komeiji. In this week's writing challenge, you must involve one of the Touhou characters setting up a "medical" "practice". It can be hypnoregressive therapy at Koishi's hands, THC-certified products sold in the SDM, you name it! (And because this is a question that's bound to pop up: Yes, Eirin's canon medical practice is fair game, so long as you do it well.)
Have fun writing, folks!
IcedFairy:
Horray! :* And here I thought I just had a chance to become an idiot! I should pay more attention to edits.
I liked all the fics, so I'm really looking forward to this new challenge, and defending my title as well.
Oh and Ruro, you wanted more comedy from me? This sort of challenge should do it. ;)
Now to start writing....
Hideki:
Ruukoto paused nervously in front of the large steel door. As Reimu?s maid, it was her duty to do the chores around the shrine. Sure she wasn?t really all that good at it, but she did them happily nonetheless. Recently however, she began to feel rather lethargic, even when she was cleaning. Alarmed, she asked Reimu what to do about her symptoms.
?You?re a robot aren?t you?? Reimu had replied. ?Go visit Nitori and tell her what?s wrong.?
After a bit of clarification about who this Nitori was, she found herself in front of the door. She looked at the name plate. It read ?Nitori Kawashiro, ME, EE, RMD.? She thought that it looked like the ?RMD? was recently scribbled on. It wasn?t very reassuring.
Well here it goes, She thought as she raised her hand. Before she could knock on the door, it swung open. A short blue haired girl with pigtails appeared before her.
This must be Nitori. She was wearing a blue dress with an unusual amount of pockets around the edge of her skirt. On top of her head was a green cap with a white squiggle on it. NItori smiled.
?Ah, you must be Ruukoto,? She said. ?Reimu said you were coming. Come on in.?
As Nitori led the way into the door, Ruukoto hesitantly followed. They entered a short hallway with several rooms branching off. Nitori led her to the farthest door on the left, marked ?Laboratory? and opened it. Inside the room was a bare steel table with several attachments and tool racks. Along the walls there were more tool racks and several machines whose purpose Ruukoto couldn?t ascertain. NItori motioned her to sit on the table as she sat down on a nearby chair.
As Ruukoto sat herself down, Nitori started asking her questions.
?So, what are you, and why did you come??
?I am a nuclear-powered gynoid designed and built by Yumemi Okazaki for Reimu?s use. Recently, I feel like I don?t have the energy for doing chores.?
?Short and to the point huh?? Nitori got up and went to one of her tool racks. Once she got there, she started searching for something. As she was searching, she continued questioning.
?How long have you been active??
?Um, about ten years??
?When did you start feeling tired??
?Late last month.?
?Are there any other problems? Stiffness in joints, blackouts, constricted movement range, that kind of thing.?
?Uh, a little stiffness I guess. Why??As Ruukoto watched, she picked something up and walked to the table.
?No reason. Can you lay face-down on the table?? Nitori asked. ?I want to see what your diagnostics are.?
Ruukoto laid herself flat on the table. After she had finished adjusting herself, she felt a probe insert itself in the center of the hazard symbol on her back.
?Hmm?? Nitori started talking to herself as she looked at some readout that Ruukoto couldn?t see. ?Does that go?? Huh. I don?t think I would have done it that way? Oh, hey? What?s this?? A long pause followed. Ruukoto was staring to feel uncomfortable.
?Uh, can I get up now??
?Oh no,? Nitori abruptly replied. Ruukoto felt her lubricant drop several degrees. She didn?t like that tone of voice. ?There?s something wrong with you. We?ll have to operate.?
?Uh, no thanks? I think I feel better now,? She tried to get up, but at that moment, metal straps wrapped around her arms, legs, and torso and pinned her to the table. She heard a loud whirring noise, and went into full-blown panic mode. However at that moment, she suddenly felt tired. The last thing she heard before everything went black was Nitori?s voice over the whirring.
?Don?t worry, you won?t feel a thing.?
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Reimu waited outside the door to Nitori?s place. A day after Ruukoto left to see her, Nitori called to ask to come pick her up. Reimu was waiting, wondering why she needed to pick her up, when the door opened. First out the door was Ruukoto, and the way she was behaving answered her question.
Is she drunk? Reimu looked incredulously as her maid wobbled unsteadily across the corridor, singing some kind of song she must have picked up from Suika. How did Nitori do that?
Nitori exited her door. To Reimu, she looked like a mess. Oil and grease stains splattered her clothes, and she looked like she hadn?t slept for days.
?What did you do to her??
Nitori looked at Reimu with tired eyes. ?Ran a bunch of tests.? She yawned. ?Also tried to figure out a delivery system for this.? She held out a bottle.
Reimu took the bottle and nearly dropped it. It was heavy! ?What did you make this out of, lead??
?Yeah,? Nitori pointed at the label. ?You need it for the shielding.?
Reimu read the label. ?Yatagarasu brand Nuclear Pills?? She stared at the bottle. ?Take twice daily with oil.?
?Ruukoto was running low on fuel, so I had Utsuho make up a batch,? She stretched. ?It took forever to try to get a method to refuel her.?
?Uh huh.? Reimu said as Ruukoto draped herself over her shoulders. ?So why is she like this??
?You?re red!? She babbled happily. ?Red light, white light, kappa light??
Nitori shrugged. ?She?s probably coming off the anesthetic program I used to open her up. Now, normally this would cost a considerable sum, but this time I?ll waive the fee.? Nitori waved them off. ?Now if you?ll excuse me, I need to sleep.? She closed the door behind her.
Reimu looked at the door before glancing at Ruukoto. ?How about we get you home??
?Cucumbers are fuzzy!?
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Nitori listened to them leave before she trudged down her hallway. She didn?t tell the whole truth to Reimu. Ruukoto did need the pills, but opening her up was for a completely different reason.
Most of my time was occupied with something different, she thought as she looked at the device sitting on her laboratory work bench. She gave it a pat before leaving. Lying in her bed, she smiled. There?s so much research to be done now that I have a copy of Ruukoto?s reactor.
Yeah, you didn't specify that the medical practice needed to apply to organic beings.