Topic: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism  (Read 5293 times)

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Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« on: January 09, 2010, 09:03:07 am »
Hi MotK residents!  Well, I got very much into the Touhou games after reading through its TVTropes page about six months ago.  I am also into the Nanoha fandom, so I decided to combine the two.  Hey, both continuities fit reasonably well for crossover material, so I did one.  The setting is slightly after Nanoha A's epilogue, and retells Subterranean Animism.  Yeah, you'll probably need to be familiar with Nanoha to get this though. Enjoy.

"]“If you look to our left, you will see the Benkei shrine.  Dedicated to the warrior monk who served the famed warrior Minamoto Yoshitune, it now…”

Nanoha Takimichi mentally tuned out the tour guide.  Sure, it was interesting, but she had other things on her mind.  She was troubled at what was to come ahead.  Not at the end of the school trip, but after, when Hayate, Fate and herself were planning to move to Mid-Childia.  However, Nanoha was having second thoughts.

“Nanoha?  What’s wrong?” a voice startled her out of her reverie.  Nanoha turned to look at her two seatmates on the bus.

“Hayate, Fate…” Nanoha sighed. “Don’t you have any feelings for our decision to move right after school?  It seems like a lot to go through, and I don’t know if I’m ready yet.”

Hayate Yagami turns her eyes to the ceiling as she pondered the question.  “Um, a little anxiety sure, but I think we’ll be ready very soon if not already.” Hayate replied. “I mean it’s not like we’re off world a lot of our time already, and if we are to be fully fledged members of the TSAB, it’s not like we could continue to support our commute.”

Fate Testarossa nodded her head in agreement.  “Also,” she chimed in, “It would be best to leave before we become too entrenched on Earth, and have people ask about us if we did not appear as expected.  This way, we could explain our long-term absence as we are going to some far off school or some such.”

Nanoha turned her eyes towards the ceiling.  What her friends said made perfect sense of course, but she still wasn’t feeling it. 

“I know all of that; it just seems different for me somehow.” Nanoha looked down.  “I’ve been fine with leaving my family for extended lengths of time before, but that’s because I knew I could always come back home.”

Hayate looked at Fate, then turned her attention back to Nanoha.  “This may be the reason you feel so differently from Fate and I about this; only you have strong ties to this world through your family.”

Nanoha thought about it, then realized that Hayate was right.  Fate’s family was not native to this world, and was in the TSAB as well, while Hayate’s family as far as she could tell consisted of only her Guardian Knights, who would follow her to the ends of the universe if need be.  In contrast, her family was closely tied to earth. 

“It’s just hard to get my mind around the fact that I’m leaving home.  It almost feels like I’ll never see my family again.”

“Of course you will.” A new voice interjected.  “It’s not like any of ‘em are gonna die anytime soon.  Now stop acting so emo about all of this before I have to knock some sense into you.”  Startled, Nanoha turned around to face the speaker and her seatmate on the bus.


Arisa Bannings gave Nanoha a scowl.  “Just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean they stop existing.”  She said irritably.  “They’re going to keep existing the same way they’ve always done.  Your presence isn’t required for their continued existence.”

“That goes for me and Suzuka here too.” Arisa added as she pointed to her partner on the bus. “We’re not going to go away just because you are.”

“Besides, you can always call us or find some other way to contact us whenever you start feeling lonely.  ” added Suzuka Tsukimura.  She smiled.  “I’m sure that there are other ways to contact us when you’re off-world, and we’ll gladly talk to you anytime.”

“So call us, E-mail us, send us presents.”  Arisa said, grinning.  “Just make sure you don’t forget we’re here to support you too.  And so is your family.”

Feeling better about her whole arrangement, Nanoha smiled.  “Thank you everyone.” She said as she returned her attention back to the tour guide.

"...On our right is the former location where the Moriya shrine used to be, and has since disappeared.  Investigators are still looking into as to what could make the entire shrine complex disappear, along with the priestess who was residing here..."


Later that night, Nanoha was waiting in the hotel room they were assigned to for the school trip.  Because of the curfew assigned, all three combat mages were trying their best to pretend to sleep, while waiting for everyone else to fall asleep. 

Mmm, this is such an excruciating wait.  She thought drowsily.  Maybe I can get a little rest before the mission…

“Nanoha, Fate, you awake?”

Nanoha snapped her eyes open, all drowsiness forgotten.  Next to her, Fate did the same.



“Good, everyone else seems asleep.  How about we make our move now?”  Hayate got out of bed and moved towards the window.  Nanoha and Fate followed suit.  Soon they were standing on the roof of the hotel. 

“Where to Hayate?” Fate asked as she took out Bardiche.  “That location we passed on the bus?”

Hayate shook her head.  “No, not this time.” She said as she pulled out Schwertkreuz.  “A TSAB Special Investigations crew already went over it; some of the detectives there currently are TSAB plants.  According to them, there’s no way that the Moriya shrine could have moved the way it did without a huge amount of magic emissions that should have shown up on the sensors we have at your house.  I’ll have Rein show you where we’re going.”  She held out Schwertkreuz in her hand palm up.  A ghostly hologram of a tiny figure floated up from it. 

“Yes Mistress Hayate!”Reinforce Zwei bubbled happily.  A translucent screen floated up above Rein’s head, showing a map of the general area.  A red dot started blinking on the map a short ways northwest of their current location. 

“The target location is located at a shrine approximately two-point-five kilometers northwest of this current location.”  The Device started in her exposition.  “The shrine, called the Hakurei shrine by locals, is a small abandoned complex within a forest located at the base of the local mountains.  A TSAB survey found anomalous readings near the site, suggesting further investigation of the site.  However, the Moriya Shrine Incident forced any investigations of the Hakurei shrine back until there were free investigators to attend to the site.” Rein concluded.  She bowed. “I’m sorry, that is all there is to know about the site from TSAB information.”

Hayate looked at her device.  “Don’t be,” she reassured Rein. “That’s the fault of the TSAB Database, not you.”  She turned her eyes on Nanoha and Fate.  “Any questions?”

Nanoha smiled.  “No questions here.  You seem to be getting the hang of mission briefing.” She added. “Maybe you’re thinking of going into the command branch?”

“Eheheh, thanks, but I think I prefer the Special Investigations branch.”

“I have a question,” Fate said.  What are we going to be doing at the Hakurei shrine?”

“Oops, I forgot to add that part” Hayate said sheepishly.  “We’re supposed to go into the shrine and to assess whether or not there’s a Lost Logia in there, or something else that’s producing the anomalous readings, and to report our findings to the local planetary head of operations, a.k.a. your mom.”


“Any more questions?  No?  Then how about we get going!” Hayate exclaimed as she held Schwertkreuz above her head “Reinforce!”


“Okay!” Nanoha joined in “Raising Heart!”

“Standby ready.”

“Yes Bardiche!” Fate followed suit.

“Yes sir.”

A ball of light flashed on a hotel rooftop, followed by three streaks heading to their destination.

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2010, 11:57:59 pm »
No one was there to observe the three girls arrive at the Hakurei shrine.  They touched down amidst a patch of vines.  Nanoha, Fate and Hayate looked around at their surroundings.  An overgrown entryway surrounded a worn-down looking shrine that nonetheless stood proud in the middle of the grounds. 

“This place looks abandoned.” Nanoha said as she looked at the shrine. 

“Yes, but there was some kind of reading here, or else they wouldn’t send us here.”  Fate responded as she looked around at the grounds.  “What’s interesting here is that the shrine itself isn’t overgrown at all, while the grounds around it look like part of the forest.”

“Huh, that’s strange.”

“And adds evidence to this shrine being not what it seems.”  Hayate chipped in. “Well, we’re not going to get anything done here by standing and looking.  Let’s split up, so we can cover more area.”  She pointed at the shrine.  “Rein and I will cover the back end of the shrine, and work our way forwards, while you two start from the front and work your way back.  We’ll meet in the central courtyard to compare notes, and then we’ll see where we need to go from there.” 

Fate and Nanoha nodded, and watched Hayate fly off.  They both turned and walked into the shrine. 


“Are you sure you’re feeling better?”

Nanoha put the top back on the pot she was looking in and looked at Fate. “Eh? What for?”

Fate stood up from examining the chest in the room they were currently in.  "From the bus.” She stated as she moved towards a box in the corner.  As she was opening it, she continued. “Are you sure you feel prepared to leave?”

Nanoha surveyed the room once more.  For an abandoned shrine, she mused, there was a lot of stuff here.  There was also less decay of the shrine than she thought would be normal, adding to the suspicion that this shrine was somehow related to magic.  “There’s nothing in here.  Let’s move on to the next room.  Um, logistically prepared to leave earth?  No, there’s still a lot of stuff I need to get done before we move to Mid.  Mentally prepared to leave Earth?”  She pondered as they moved to the next room.  “Um, the feelings I expressed on the bus still haven’t gone away completely; I’m still nervous at how far away Mid-Childia is.  However, I don’t feel like moving away is anything to really fear anymore. ”

Fate smiled quietly to herself as they both walked into the next room.  Nanoha’s mood on the bus had been bothering her; it was nice to see that she had gotten over her bout of nerves.  Turning her attention back to the room, she took it in.  It was a room very similar to the previous one; a squarish room with tatami mats and a few pieces of furniture scattered about.  As she took in the state of decay of the room, an alarm bell tripped off in her head. 


Nanoha looked up from the mats she was examining.  “Yes?”

Fate swept Bardiche through an arc.  “Does this room look any different from the last room?”

Nanoha looked around for a minute.  “It does look a little more worn than the last room.”

“That’s what I thought.”  Fate turned around and started out of the room.  “I want to check something out.” 

“Wait!”  Nanoha got up and ran up to her.  “Let’s check it together; you should never split up into teams smaller than two.”

Fate smiled and let Nanoha catch up before she walked back to the entrance.


Going through the rooms again, Fate felt that her suspicions were confirmed.  Starting from the entrance, every successive room back was in a more advanced state of decomposition.  By the time they reached the central courtyard, they were floating along as the floors were too rotted through to support their weight.  As they landed in the central courtyard, they saw Hayate waiting for them.  She waved them over.

“So what did you look at?”  Hayate asked as they stopped in front of her.

“Well, the front of the shrine seems rather ordinary, if in unusually good condition.”  Nanoha started.  “There are two rooms on either side of the entrance, framing one big room in the middle.  Each side room is similarly decorated with several ceramic pots and boxes in each.”

Fate continued.  “The state of decay of each room is the most interesting aspect.  As we moved deeper into the shrine, the state of decay was worse, eventually becoming so bad that we needed to hover above the floor.  I suspect the cause of the abnormal pattern of decay is somewhere farther back.”

“Uh huh.”  Hayate grinned.  “Rein and I found the same pattern of decay on the backside of the shrine.  Only, it seems that the decay is slightly more pronounced than what you guys said.  So we traced the decay to its epicenter, and…”

Fate looked at Hayate questioningly.  “And?”

Hayate’s grin got even wider.  “We found something interesting.”


Hayate led them through several even more dilapidated rooms, at some points where even the roof had collapsed, and trees had started growing through the floorboards.  They stopped in front of a room that looked like any other.  The door was open, but judging by the holes in the paper walls, that wouldn’t have stopped anyone at all from peering inside.  The room itself was as much in a state of disarray as any one of the others they had looked into.  However there was one feature of the room that stood out from its surroundings.  Nanoha was quick to point it out.

“That wall looks as new as the front of the shrine!”  She said as she pointed to the back wall.  Indeed, the wall, while looking a little worn, was not nearly in the state of disrepair that the rest of the room was.  The entire wall was completely blank, save for a sliding door in the middle of it. 

Fate walked up to the door and started to examine it closely.  She turned to Hayate.  “Did you open this door yet?”

Hayate shook her head.  “No, we didn’t open it yet.  We weren’t sure that we would be ready to face whatever is on the other side of the door, and we still needed to talk to you guys before we did anything irrevocable.”

Fate put her hand on the door and pushed it open.  The room on the other side of it was completely bare, with wood panel floors, much like the rest of the shrine.  The three girls entered the room and looked around.  Nanoha was the first to break the silence.

“There’s nothing here.”  She said as she peered into the far corner of the room.

Hayate started to look confused.  She walked over to the far wall and began to examine it closely.  “I was sure there was something here, there’s way to much ambient magical energy for there to be any other explanation.”

Something clicked in Fate’s mind.  “Maybe the room itself is the Los—” 

She never got to finish her sentence.  Suddenly, the door slammed shut and glowing sigils appeared on the walls of the room.  A tremor shook the room so violently, that they all fell down.  Fate felt her eyes widen, and saw that Nanoha and Hayate looked as surprised as she was.  She opened her mouth to shout out a warning, but in that instant, a wave of force overwhelmed her so completely that she blacked out. 

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2010, 09:11:01 am »



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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2010, 12:44:16 am »
“So, tell me exactly why she’s in my bed?”’

“Not your bed ze.  It’s the only flat surface in my home not covered in stuff.  Besides, it was your idea to pick her up off the path.”

The first thing Nanoha heard when she regained consciousness were voices.  It sounded like two people were talking at the foot of the bed she was in. 

Bed?  Nanoha wondered.

“And you would have just left her there?”

“No, I was just waitin’ for you suggest it so I could shove all the work on you, ze.”  The second voice paused.  “At least I got this little gem from her.”

The first voice sighed.  “I really wish you wouldn’t steal stuff from random people.”

Gem?  Nanoha thought about it for a little while before reaching a conclusion.  Raising Heart!

Her eyes shot open.  The first thing she noticed was that the second voice was right.  This was the only spot that had any open space anywhere.  Every table and chair was piled high with books, writing utensils, and other knickknacks she couldn’t immediately identify.  At the foot of the bed were two girls, one dressed like a stereotypical witch (although she had her hat off), and the other was wearing a red skirt and blouse with detached sleeves.  Nanoha thought it reminded her vaguely of the clothes that the shrine maidens wore during the school trip.  The two were currently in the middle of a rather heated conversation.

“Says the pot calling the kettle black, ze.  Or did I hear differently during the missing spring incident, ze?  Stealin’ from Mayohiga?”  The witch leered at the miko.

“That was different!  God knows I need the luck against Yuyuko.”

“Aw, I’m kidding, ze.  What’s a thing between two thieves?”  The witch put her arm around the Miko.

“Get off me!”  The miko shoved the witch’s arm off her shoulder. “And furthermore…Oh look, you just woke her up!” 

The witch and the miko turned to the bed’s occupant.  Nanoha looked back and at them and noticed Raising Heart around the witch’s neck. 

“Um…” Nanoha started.  She didn’t get far though, as the witch felt the need to introduce herself to Nanoha at that moment.

“Oh hi there!” The witch interjected.  “My name’s Marisa Kirisame, ze.  How’re you feelin’, ze?”

“Eeeeh?!  Uh, fine…” Nanoha was startled by the outburst.  “Uh, can I please have…?”

“See, now look, you scared her!  And give her back that gem!  She probably thinks you’re going to use it to do something evil, by the fact that you stole it from her.  Oh, by the way, my name’s Reimu Hakurei.”  Reimu added as an afterthought.


“Oh come on Reimu, It’s not like she’s going to need an artifact like this.  She’s from the outside world by the look of her; she probably doesn’t know that magic even exists.  I can always find her a replica somewhere.  Maybe Kourin even has one.”


“That artifact’s probably the reason she made it that far onto the trail in the first place!  It was probably warding the fairies and lesser Youkai off.”


“Oh really? You of all people should know that a powerful artifact like this tends to attract lesser youkai.”

Nanoha was getting tired of being interrupted.  “EXCUSE ME I KNOW ABOUT MAGICPLEASE GIVE ME RAISING HEART BACK!”

That got their attention.  They both turned towards her with shocked expressions before peppering her with questions.

“You know about magic?”

“Are you really from outside the border, ze?”

“How the hell did you end up unconscious in the middle of the road?

“Raising Heart, ze?”

Nanoha sighed as she braced for her explanation.  “Can I get out of this bed?  This might take a while.”


“So let me get this straight.”  Reimu said as they sat around the hastily cleared off table.  Reimu, Marisa and Nanoha were all nursing hot cups of tea by the time Nanoha finished her explanation.

“You and two of your friends are employed as investigators by this TSAB, an interdimensional police force specializing in magic.  They sent you three to investigate an anomaly at an abandoned shrine, and in the process of doing so, you stumbled upon a room that simultaneously knocked you three out and sent you here.  Your next memory is of waking up in that bed, with us two arguing over you.”

Nanoha looked up from her tea. “Uh huh.  Actually I’m in training to be an instructor in the magic arts.”

“And this,” Marisa added as she pointed to Raising Heart as it lay in the middle of the table, “is an artifact that helps you use magic, ze.  It allows you to transform into a stronger, magic-infused set of clothes, and allows access to a greater array of spells than you would be able to use otherwise, ze.”

“Yes…”  Nanoha cocked her head and looked at Raising Heart.  “Why haven’t you told them of any of this?”

“Oh no Master.  You are doing a good job accounting for yourself right now.”

Reactions varied widely among the table’s occupants at that.  Marisa and Reimu jumped up in surprise, while Nanoha just made a face.  This had to be Raising Heart’s idea of a joke.

“It speaks?!”

“Yes she speaks.  And she has a name, it’s Raising Heart.”

Reimu and Marisa gingerly picked up their chairs and sat back down in them.  Reimu dropped her head to the table with a loud thunk.  “Why now?”  She said in a resigned manner.

“Eh?”  Marisa and Nanoha bent over Reimu.  “Is something wrong?”

“I think I know why that happened to you and your friends.” Reimu said without raising her head.  “The Hakurei shrine acts as a gate to the Gensokyo border, as well as its anchor.  Normally, the gateway through the shrine is one way, only leading to the outside world.” 

“Gensokyo?  Barrier?”  Nanoha was confused at some of the terminology that was being thrown around.

Seeing Reimu indisposed, Marisa fielded the question.  “The land you’re in right now is called Gensokyo, ze.”  She pointed out the window.  “Surrounding that is the Hakurei Barrier, which separates Gensokyo from the outside world.  The Hakurei Shrine exists on either side of the border as a gate to the outside world, ze.”

Reimu lifted her head from the table.  “This week though, my shrine was destroyed twice, the first time by some idiot Celestial, and the second time by a certain border youkai.  The destructions must have messed up the gateway between Gensokyo and the outside world.  ”

Nanoha’s looked at Reimu quizzically.  “What do you mean?”

Reimu looked at Nanoha “It’s likely that your friends are scattered all over Gensokyo.  Also it removed the main way to get you guys home until the shrine is rebuilt again.”  She put her head down again.  “Why did you and your friends have to pick the absolute worst time to explore the Hakurei shrine on the other side of the Border?”

“Ah…”  Nanoha opened her mouth to say something but couldn’t think of anything to say.

“You mean they’re here for the duration, ze?”  Marisa chimed in.  “That’s great, ze!  Now I get to research a whole new set of magics!” 

“And where would she stay?” 

Marisa looked at Reimu.  “Here?”

“And where would I stay?”

“Uh…”  Marisa thought for a little while.  “You could ask Suika to build your room quickly, ze?”

Reimu’s head returned to the table with a thud.  Ignoring Reimu, she turned to Nanoha.  “You said you were a going to be a magic instructor, ze?  Combat magics?”

“Uh, yes, why?”

Marisa grinned like the Cheshire Cat.  “How about you and I go out back for a little lesson, ze?  You show me what your magics can do, and I’ll show you what a Gensokyo magician can do, ze.”

Nanoha smiled at Marisa.  “Okay.”

As the two of them left the table, she thought about Fate and Hayate.  She hoped they were having a better start in this crazy place than she was at the moment, as she resigned herself to being stuck in this place for the foreseeable future.  However, for the moment, things were looking up for her; she had two new friends, and some information that could help them get back home. 

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2010, 02:23:12 am »
Typical Nanoha 'befriending' method - blast the crap out of 'em.

Marisa's about to get real befriended.

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2010, 02:28:37 am »
befriend (v.): to use mecha-class beam weaponry to inflict grievous bodily harm on a target in the process of proving the validity of your belief system.

Is it bad that every time I read "Hayate Yagami", I think of TSO? :S

I'm intrigued by this story. Please continue.


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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2010, 04:02:10 am »
Well, it's going to be a "Friendly" battle between Nanoha and Marisa, although as we know to either, that doesn't mean much.

@ さくら るろうに: TSO?  Also, How do I do spoiler text?

Anyway, next chapter, featuring Hayate.

Hayate was not having a good day.  The fact that it was day was an additional concern for her as she flew through the bamboo forest, as it meant that the scouting mission had gone on for far longer than anticipated.  However, it was not her primary one. 

Who are these people, and why are they shooting at me?  Hayate thought as she dodged through a scattering of glowing orbs and looked back at her pursuers.  Admittedly, they didn’t look like much, like small winged girls wearing dresses of various types, but the fact that they started shooting at her as soon as they saw her immediately sent the message that they were hostile.  Maybe I can

Master, above you! 

Hayate’s eyes shot up and she quickly maneuvered to avoid a particularly dense patch of bullets.  Sending a quick mental thanks to Rein, she continued deeper into the forest.  As she flew through a another cloud of bullets, she reflected on how she got into this mess.  The last thing I remember, she thought was walking into that room.  After that, I woke up somewhere in the middle of a bamboo forest with fairies surrounding me.  She risked a glance back at her pursuers.  Sure enough, there were more of them now than there was the last time she looked.  Then they started attacking me.

Master Hayate, there’s another group on our left!  As she looked to her left, all she could see was a wall of glowing orbs.  As she realized there was no way to dodge this salvo, she slowed down.

“Rein, shield!”

The triangular Belkan sigil materialized between her and the wall of bullets.  As the bullets impacted the shield, they pushed her backwards.  As each salvo pummeled the shield, she was pushed back even further until she was up against a particularly large bamboo plant.  Just when the shield looked like it was going to fail, the salvo stopped.  Taking no chances of another round, she took off again putting distance between her and the humanoids. 

This is getting ridiculous.  She thought as she veered around a particularly thick stand of bamboo. Eventually they’re going to catch up with me, and even I can’t stand up to that kind of barrage for long.  They also didn’t respond to any of my hails or statements, so the only option I can see right now is to incapacitate them before they do the same to me.  Rein!


I’m giving you permission to use your spells against our pursuers.  You need to hold them off until I can get a spell off. 

Okay!  Rein chirped.  Suddenly several streams of blue knife-shaped projectiles flung themselves at the winged humanoids, hitting some and getting the others to back off, giving her some breathing room.  Hayate slowed to a stop, and opened the Book of Night Sky.  A Belkan triangle formed under her as she recited the spell from the book.  She stumbled a bit as a shield popped up in front of her, deflecting the incoming bullets.  This is why I need Rein or my knights with me if I ever do this on a battlefield.  she reflected as she continued with the incantation. “…In a distant land, sink into the darkness, Diabolic Emission!

A dark sphere materialized above her and quickly expanded outward.  As the sphere of darkness enveloped her pursuers, she noticed something different happening to her attackers.  Instead of dropping unconscious like she had intended, as the darkness enveloped each one, they froze and then dissolved out of existence.  Why are they dissolving?  Are they dying? Her eyes widened in shock.  They weren’t supposed to die!

After the Diabolic Emission dissipated, she slowly floated to the ground where she collapsed on her knees. 

Master?  Are you okay? Rein sent, but Hayate was in too much shock to hear her. Master?

I should have gone with a less lethal spell. Hayate thought.  She started giggling silently Who would have known that I would have been the first one of us to take a life…

Master, someone’s coming!

“Excuse me, do you need help?”

Hayate’s eyes widened in shock as she scrambled to her feet and looked at the sudden, unexpected voice.  Before her stood a girl that looked like she just came from a school, as she wore clothes that immediately reminded her of their school’s uniform, and she looked about her age.  However three attributes of this girl were enough to give her pause.  The first was her light lavender hair that cascaded down the girls back past her waist.  Hayate was no stranger to strange hair colors; after all Suzuka’s family had hair of various shades of purple, Signum had pink hair, and Zafira had blue, but it was still unusual.  The second was her red eyes.  Strangely, even though she has seen red eyes before— even one of her best friends had red eyes—these eyes seemed wierd.  The third, and most peculiar of them all was the fact that she seemed to have rabbit ears growing out of the top of her head. 

Is this girl cosplaying?  “Uh, no I’m fine thanks.”  Hayate looked around.  She was on the edge of a small path leading out of sight in both directions. 

“It’s dangerous around here with the fairies.  Unless you’re a good mage, you’ll be torn apart by them.”  The other girl leaned closer to Hayate.  “Are you a good mage?”

Master, there is something wrong with this girl.  Please be on your guard.  Rein spoke to Hayate. 

Hayate felt like those eyes would swallow her up.  She was also starting to feel a little tired.  That Diabolic Emission must have taken it out of me.  She thought as she leaned against a bamboo stalk. “I’m fairly certain I’m a good mage…”  That sounded stupid to her somehow.

Master— Hayate knew something was wrong when Rein’s voice dropped off but she couldn’t think why that should be so.  She knew she should be even more worried that she was no longer unisoned with Rein, but she found it hard to care.  The sleepiness she was feeling had increased dramatically. 

“You don’t look too well.  Maybe you need a doctor?”  The girl leaned even closer.  Hayate found it hard to look away from those eyes, she felt like she was about to drown in them.  They’re not even blue…

Hayate opened her mouth to say something, but she couldn’t take it anymore.  As she closed her eyes, she keeled over and collapsed in a heap.  She was unconscious before she hit the ground. 


“Ah, she’s waking up.”

When Hayate regained consciousness, she felt she was laying face up on top of a table.  When she tried sitting up, she found that she was securely fastened to the table by straps across her torso, arms, and legs.  She quickly realized that she was back in her civilian clothes, and furthermore, couldn’t contact Rein.  Feeling alarmed, she opened her eyes and looked around the room.  It was a rather small, dark room with a brilliant light shining down on her face. 

Standing over her, she saw an enormous woman dressed in red and blue.  She had long white hair in a thick braid that fell past her waist.  Behind her was the red-eyed bunny girl she saw in the forest.  Neither of them looked very happy, in fact the woman looked downright threatening.

The woman spoke.  “My name is Erin Yagokoro, servant and protector of Princess Kaguya Houraisan. This is my apprentice Reisen Udonge Inaba.”  She towered over Hayate.  “You were found trespassing on Eientei grounds, and cast a spell that threatened this mansion.  You will explain exactly what you are doing here, or” she picked up a scalpel off a nearby stand, “I have found myself a new specimen.”
« Last Edit: January 13, 2010, 04:05:11 am by Hideki101 »

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #7 on: January 14, 2010, 02:46:42 am »
Punishment time <3


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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #8 on: January 23, 2010, 10:33:48 am »
Marisa led Nanoha out to her yard.  Marisa’s house was located at the edge of a small clearing in the middle of a forest that stretched as far as Nanoha could see.  It looked very much like a forest back in the outer world.  The house that they just walked out of was a simple one-story thing, with a few windows, and a brown pointed roof, with a chimney perched on top.  Vines covered the structure, and Nanoha got a distinct feeling of homeliness from the house.  Beside her, Marisa filled her in on the system of magic that Gensokyo mages and youkai used. 

“…Because Of Reimu’s importance to Gensokyo, she invented the spell card system to allow youkai to defeat her without killing her.”  Marisa talked as they moved into the clearing.  “Before, it was more of a ritualized duel, but after a little trip to the moon, and a fight against someone not bound by spell card rules, Reimu allowed more physical aspects to be used in a duel, ze.  However the first rule of a spell card battle is non-lethal magic only.”

“That’s fairly similar to how we use magic at home.”  Nanoha explained.  “At least that’s how I use it.  Mid-Childian magic’s effects are based on the user’s intent; and I’ve never had to fight someone with intent to kill.”

“Interesting, ze.  I wonder if your magic will work under this system.”  Marisa stopped in the middle of the clearing and took out a hand full of cards.  “These,” she said displaying them to Nanoha, “are spell cards, ze.  They’re a physical manifestation of the spells that a mage would use in combat.  Each magician and youkai has a set of spell cards that relate to their specialties, ze.  ” 

Nanoha picked out one of the cards.  It was a rectangular sheet of paper, with writing on both sides.  On the front side she recognized the writing as some kind of incantation.  On the back side she guessed, was name of the spell with the picture of a rather large rainbow-colored beam.  She read it out loud.

“Love Sign-‘Master Spark’”

Marisa grinned.  “That’s my favorite one, ze.  I specialize in direct confrontation attacks like lasers and direct bullets.”  She hefted her broom.  “So you want to see what I can do, ze?”

Nanoha smiled.  “Sure, if you’re going first…”

Marisa waved her off.  “No, no, no, ze.  What I mean is,” she pointed her broom at Nanoha.  “You and me.  Up in the air.”  Her grin got wider.  “Dueling.”

“Eh!?”  Nanoha was surprised at the declaration to say the least.  “But we’ve just met, and we don’t know how each other’s magic works!  What if we end up hurting each other?”

Marisa sat on her broom and started floating.  “You said that your magic doesn’t deal permanent damage, right, ze?”

“Well yeah, but…”

“Then there’s nothing to worry about, ze.”  She got off the broom and walked over to Nanoha.  “Besides, in a real battle, you won’t always know what your opponent is capable of.  Sometimes you have to learn under fire.”

Nanoha thought about it for a little while, then slowly smiled.  As far as she could tell with what Marisa had told her, fighting against her would be only slightly different from fighting against a Mid user, and there would be no permanent damage to either party.  She held out Raising Heart.  “In that case, I accept.  Raising Heart, set up!”

During the short transformation, Marisa watched with interest.  When Nanoha finished, Marisa whistled.  “That was sure something, wasn’t it, ze?”

Nanoha was about to reply that is was nothing, but a voice behind her cut her off from behind.

“Yeah, that was pretty cool.”

Nanoha jumped in surprise and turned around.  Standing there was Reimu, with a smirk on her face.  “What, you didn’t think I was going to stay in the house with a show about to start, was I?”

Nanoha mouth worked for a little while trying to get something out.  “Y-you didn’t have to sneak up on me!”

Reimu looked nonplussed.  “Why not?  Anyway, you guys were going to start?”

Nanoha looked back at Marisa.  She was already above the treetops, looking down at her “Hurry up, ze!”

Nanoha jumped off from the ground.  Immediately, pink wings of energy sprouted from her feet. 

“Flyer Fin”

As she drew level with Marisa, she saw that she’d already pulled out a card.  Marisa smiled.  “You ready, ze?”

Nanoha had Raising Heart transform into shooting mode and returned the smile.  “Are you?”

Marisa’s grin got even wider.  Without preamble, she declared her attack.  “Magic Sign ‘Milky Way’!”

Suddenly, the sky was filled with stars.  Nanoha’s eyes widened at the sheer amount of them.  There was no way she was going to dodge all of them!

“Wide Area Protection”

A translucent sphere wrapped around her, and not a moment too soon.  As soon as the barrier closed itself off, countless stars of all sizes began to impact the barrier from all directions.  She realized the barrier wouldn’t hold for long as spider web cracks began to form in the sphere.  The moment the barrier failed, she was plunged into a mad hailstorm of multicolored stars.

This is insane!  Nanoha thought as she whirled around a particularly large star.  How can she keep up this barrage for so lo—  She was cut off as she was blindsided by a star.  The star packed a much larger punch than she realized and she was sent reeling. 


“Come on, is that the best you can do?”  Marisa laughed as she sat in the eye of the star formation.

Nanoha shook her head to clear her dizziness and glared at Marisa.  She was about to retort, when she saw something that stopped her short.  There was a pattern the stars took as they travelled.  Every so often, the stars would shift, opening up gaps in the formation.  Suddenly feeling confident, Nanoha started to dodge with renewed vigor. 

Minimum movements to conserve energy. She thought.  Feeling much more confident at dodging the stars, she decided to respond with her own attacks.

Accel Shooter!”

Six pink balls of energy shot out at Marisa.  She wove through them easily and pulled another card.

Light sign: ‘Ear—OW!”

Something slammed into her back hard, interrupting her spelling.  She vectored off her line of flight quickly, and saw five pink shots flash past.  As she watched, they slowed down, and re-aimed themselves at her.  Homing shots!

She quickly moved out of the way of the shots and threw several bullets of her own at them.  As each of her green arrowheads impacted Nanoha’s pink orbs, it released a bright flash of the combined energies of the two shots. 

As she destroyed the last of the offending projectiles, she had a sudden premonition of doom.  She quickly veered left just as a large pink beam scythed through the space she had occupied milliseconds before.  Quickly Marisa looked at the beams point of origin.  There, Nanoha had another ball of energy charging. 

Marisa smiled slightly.  So, she wants a head-to-head?  She pulled out her hakkero.  Fine, let’s see if she can take on a spark! 

“Love Sign!”

Marisa aimed her Hakkero at Nanoha and declared her attack.  As her Hakkero began to glow with power, Nanoha did the same.





Two beams of destructive power lanced out towards each other.  Unfortunately for Nanoha, Marisa’s spark was consuming the distance between its front end and Nanoha as it swallowed up her buster.  Up above, Marisa watched as her spark made contact and exploded.  Nanoha and the surrounding area was surrounded by a gigantic clout of dirt and debris as the spark annihilated the trees and dirt behind Nanoha.  Marisa whistled.

“I thought she could take it, ze.”  She lost some altitude to look more closely.  “I hope that didn’t end it, ze.”

Restrict Lock

Marisa suddenly found herself unable to move her arms and legs.  Looking at them she saw glowing pink circles around each limb.  What is this, some kind of bind?  She thought as she tried to move again.  Suddenly noticing a pink glow, she looked down at the dust cloud fearing the worst.

Out of the dust and broken trees, battered, but none the worse for the wear, was Nanoha.  Marisa noticed that her clothes had transformed from before.  Now, instead of thigh-high socks and a short skirt, she had a long skirt and no bow.  Her staff had also transformed, becoming very much spear-like.  At the tip of the spear was the source of the glow; a giant ball of energy that continued to get bigger as she watched.  Nanoha had a nasty grin on her face.


This is going to hurt, ze. Marisa sighed and braced herself for the oncoming holocaust. 


A much larger pink beam barreled its way towards the bound witch.  As it got closer, Marisa judged its strength to be at the level of her Master Spark, or higher.  She smiled uneasily.  Who is this girl, to live outside the Border, but still have this power?

Then the beam hit, and questions about the outside world were swept away.


As the beam dissipated, Nanoha watched the now limp form of Marisa start to fall to the ground.  As Marisa fell, her elation at beating Marisa turned to horror as she realized Marisa didn’t have any way of showing her fall.  Panicked, she looked at Reimu who seemed completely unconcerned that her friend was falling to her doom. 

“Aren’t you supposed to do something?!” Nanoha shouted at Reimu.

She shrugged.  “Her fault for flying so high.  Besides, she’s not as out of it as you think.”

Nanoha turned back to watch Marisa’s plummet.  Sure enough, not five meters from the ground, Marisa’s hand shot out to grab her broom that had suddenly materialized within arms reach.  Her speed fell sharply until she was close to the ground at which she dropped unceremoniously to the ground in a heap.  Nanoha ran up to her as she was pulling herself together.

“I’m sorry about that!”  Nanoha apologized as Marisa sat up.  “I forgot you didn’t have a barrier jacket, I didn’t know that the fall might have killed you…”

Marisa waved off the apology.  “Naw, don’t worry about it, ze.  I’ve gotten hit with worse before.”  As she was waving her arm she grimaced  “Ow, ow, ow.  I feel like I’m bruised all over.  Can you help me up, ze?”

Nanoha smiled and took her hand.  As she pulled Marisa up, Reimu walked up to the pair and smiled.  “That was a good fight there Nanoha.  Your magic style seems fairly compatible with what we have here.  Maybe you should try your hand at making spell cards.”

Nanoha laughed sheepishly.  “Nyahaha, I just got lucky.”

Marisa laughed.  “Naw, don’t be so modest, ze.”  She grimaced.  “That last shot was pretty good, ze.  At least as strong as my Master Spark.”

“Moving on,”  Reimu said, “it’s best if we find you lodging sooner than later.  Marisa’s house isn’t meant to support sentient life.”


“Maybe Alice’s house…”  Reimu never finished her sentence.  Suddenly a low rumble shook the ground.  Although the quake lasted only a few seconds, Reimu had frozen in place for about a half minute, during which her face slowly darkened.  Nanoha was about to ask her what was wrong before Reimu started up again. 

“Change of plans.”  She said while turning her back on them.  “We’re going to the shrine.  If Tenshi or Yukari are fooling around with my shrine again…”

She took off without another word.  As they watched her disappear over the trees, Marisa and Nanoha exchanged a glance, then took off after her.  Nanoha silently hoped that she wasn’t about to be dragged into anything too big, but, she thought, it was starting to look inevitable.

It's been a while since I've posted last, mostly because of the fight scene.  This is the first piece of fiction I've ever written, and I had a hard time approaching the fight scene.  Also, other parts of the story were clamoring to be put down before I could get to this part of the story.  For example, I know who's going to attend the after-incident party, how they're going to take on Satori, and how I'm going to re-introduce Fate.  I have so many chapters in progress, but none completed. 

On that note, who else has specific places where you think up plotlines?  I seem to only be able to think of them in the shower and right before I go to sleep. :V
« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 10:39:13 pm by Hideki101 »

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #9 on: January 24, 2010, 07:03:54 am »
If you have lucid dreams, I envy you. That's the best place to plot things out - in your head and under your control.

Alternatively, for me, most of my story plotting comes while I'm listening to music, and if I have my cellphone on me, the notepad function gets brought up whenever I have a spare moment and an idea hits me.


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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #10 on: January 24, 2010, 07:22:59 am »
Well no, sadly I can't lucid dream.  Dialogue seems to pop into my head whenever I'm where I don't have anything to do, and there is either white noise or no noise.  The strange thing it that it seems to be mainly dialogue, and I have to think to come up with the setting the dialogue takes place.

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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #11 on: January 24, 2010, 01:26:09 pm »
Been enjoying the fic so far. :) Although I did notice a misspelling.

When Nanoha and Marisa go to blast each other, it's supposed to be spelled like Divine Buster instead of Devine Buster. :)

Still enjoying it, but I can't think of any storylines for ya right now...


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Re: Magical Girl Lyrical Animism
« Reply #12 on: January 24, 2010, 10:39:40 pm »
Thanks, changed.

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