Topic: Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All  (Read 2479 times)

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Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All
« on: December 12, 2009, 08:03:35 pm »
As if my Touhou Heroines project isn't enough, I've been working on a Touhou story with Kogasa as the heroine clashing with my OCs. I've tried to follow the Touhou format and personalities as best as I could, so hopefully it turns out okay for you folks. The site's still WIP, so don't mind the mess. And many apologies for the obnoxious ads. Stupid Angelfire... ;_;

Here's the link to the story, gallery, FAQ, bios, etc. -> Touhou Fusonkyou
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Byakuren Hijiri

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Re: Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2009, 03:48:52 pm »
A story with Kogasa? I have to read that^^
Edit:
White text on black BG is hard to read. Maybe make the text yellow? Else the beginning is nice.
« Last Edit: December 16, 2009, 03:50:39 pm by Byakuren »

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Re: Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2009, 07:30:59 pm »
Hmm, interesting so far. I kind of felt like Kogasa's reaction to surprising Reimu with a donation was a little over-the-top (especially since Reimu used it merely in the sense of "unexpected,"), and I'm vaguely surprised (hoo-ha!) by the idea of underground poppies, but those are mostly style-decisions you made; nothing really stood out as bad. Can't wait to see what happens next.
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Re: Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All
« Reply #3 on: December 17, 2009, 02:33:01 pm »
Hmm, interesting so far. I kind of felt like Kogasa's reaction to surprising Reimu with a donation was a little over-the-top (especially since Reimu used it merely in the sense of "unexpected,"), and I'm vaguely surprised (hoo-ha!) by the idea of underground poppies, but those are mostly style-decisions you made; nothing really stood out as bad. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Kogasa's over-the-top reaction was due to actually catching her worst enemy off-guard, even if Reimu's own reaction was only mild. After all, nothing said she couldn't use her power of surprise to surprise herself.

As for the underground poppies, those relate to the first Touhou OC Kogasa will encounter; Juuichi Hinageshi, who has the power to evoke memories, and poppies are associated with commemoration. I posted any chara data I've made up so far on the page in the bios or the FAQ sections.

Thanks for the review. I'll try to get more up as soon as I can.
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Re: Touhou Fusonkyou - Irrational Fear of All
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2010, 09:30:25 pm »
I said I'd be working on this, but now that school has started up again, progress will be much slower. I can at least post an excerpt for the Extra Stage chapter, where Tatara Kogasa encounters Hiroan Dokiri (a Touhou OC who can manipulate fear and phobias). If you have any comments or suggestions, feel free to offer them.

*************************

"Who's there...?"

Kogasa barely heard the meek whisper. She squinted hard in the darkness, but then the night-like atmosphere began to shrink, brightening the room with normal daylight once again. When the blackness completely vanished, a second girl hovered within the shrinking darkness' epicenter.

She didn't look any older than six or seven years old, and was about as tall as the super-short Mitsue. Her fanned blue hair was styled just like the malicious shadow's, including the same flower-and-ribbon barrette in her hair covering her left eye; her right eye was a dead grey hue. Despite the wind blowing around, the bizarre ribbon never swayed in the breeze. The bashful newcomer wore simple black-and-blue pyjamas, blue socks, and grey slippers. The Chinese kanji for 'fear' decorated her clothing.

"Hello there! I'm Tatara Kogasa! You wouldn't happen to be Hiroan Dokiri, would you?" Kogasa chirped.

"W-What do you want with me?" the timid girl asked fearfully while backing away.

"Hey, calm down. I want to-"

"Stay away! How could you possibly know about me!? How could you have gotten through my aura of fear!?"

"Aura? What're you talking about?"

"Y-You couldn't have... there's no way! My power magnifies a person's deepest fears and forces them to leave this place! I-If you've broken through, that means... that means y-y-you're not afraid of anything!!! What kind of beast are you!?" Dokiri babbled incessantly.

"Beast!?" Kogasa cried out. "How can you call someone names when you've only just met them!?"

"Because no ordinary person can break through so easily! That's it! You must be a mindless youkai here to eat me! Well don't bother! I'm already dead! I'm not tasty whatsoever!"

"I'm not here to eat you, I promise!"

"... You're not?" Dokiri paused in relief. Then her panic resumed as she continued, "I-If you're not here to eat me, then... you're going to kidnap me! That's it! You want to kill me, bury me in the mountains, and then coldly live as if nothing happened!"

"Oi. How can I kill you when you're already dead?" Kogasa sourly asked.

"... That's true," Dokiri paused in relief. Then her panic resumed as she continued, "I-If you're not here to kidnap me, then... you're going to eat me!!"

GAAAAAGH!!! the karakasa did the aerial equivalent of a facefall. Trying to peacefully talk with the hyper buruburu was a waste of time. "That's it! Since you don't wanna listen to me, I'll have to do this the hard way!"

"Hard way? As in... fight?" Dokiri whimpered. Realizing what was about to happen, the frightened ghost trembled and cried, "No! You won't win! Turn around and forget about this place! Otherwise I'll destroy you!"

"That's a pretty bold threat for a scared girl," Kogasa stuck her tongue out, prepared to do battle.

"It's not a threat! I'm telling you the truth!"

"I'm not leaving, and that's that, missy!"

Dokiri's anxiety seemed to fuel a hidden battle spirit she never knew she had. The inky blackness from before surrounded her, emanating the previously-mentioned aura of fear. Even though the heavy sensation bogged Kogasa down, she refused to let it slow her any longer.

Dokiri shakily barked, "Then I'll make this promise; you will die!!!"
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