MJP and Muffin (Season 1)

~Beyond the Border~ > Aya's Personals Section

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Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin:
Fret not, my dear! You shouldn't worry yourself about such things unduly. Oh, I did have one or two close calls, you might say, but nothing untoward happened. Unless they sought to track me down -- but no, I jest, you needn't worry. Would that I could guarantee you'd never have to see or hear of such heathens again, but I can promise to protect you from them to my utmost, should the need arise.

Of course, I did also do my part to spread the word. Unfortunately, I am no missionary myself, but in Cairo I did befriend a man who was, and just in time, too -- he was in despair at his failures, despite the fact that in my opinion he certainly had a respectable number of successes. Let me tell you, the right words of encouragement at the right time can work wonders for a man's soul!

Menorah Jams, Pham:
The working of wonders for the soul can be done only by Christ's own Hand, and by praying to the LORD! Cairo, a land lived in by heathens built on the sweat of filthy, evil Jews! Let us pray.

Dear Jesus, we beseech thee, who strikes down the corrupting homosexuals, the subhuman black Africans, and the Muslims who claim to pray to the Lord, deliver the evil from the lands we may pass in time so that we may do Your Work. Spread unto us the words of the Bible so we may dispel and destroy those who turn their eyes from Your Holy Name, and away from the hands of the LORD. In Jesus' Name we pray, amen.

Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin:
Dear me, bless your heart! Now that was spoken like a true Christian. This, I must say, increases your appeal to me. Good madam, perhaps we ought to ... discuss matters in more detail over tea? Evenings tend to be so much longer in these months, when one is without company -- or am I making false assuptions again?

Menorah Jams, Pham:
Hang on one sec, I have to take this.

Hello? No. I TOLD you to set the call strike for the Nikkei projection and then turn it over into CGX! What do you MEAN the strike price went over the projection? I don't CARE with the computers are projecting, I told you to set the goddamn strike price! Billy, I swear, if you don't make the CGX turnover I'm going to kill you before Loman does! Just DO IT!

Sorry. I swear, the glass ceiling is evident every day. Anyway, you were saying... tea, right? I mean, tea is all well and good, but - herm, let's see, there's a Starbucks, there's an Au Bon Pain, and - sorry, I have to take this.

WHAT?! Oh my God, Jack, you picked the worst possible time to call. And your alimony check bounced again! Do I have to get Barry to put that petition to garnish through to the court? Because I will if I have to!

NO! NO, you are NOT keeping the goddamn Bentley! You wouldn't dare to - YOU SLASHED THE FUCKING TIRES?! AAAARGH! I will SEE YOU IN COURT, JACK!

Oh my God, my ex-husband. Yeah, to hell with tea, it's 1:00 and the bars are probably open. You look like a Seven and Seven kind of guy, right? What's your poison?

Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin:
Tough question, I'm still figuring out my fave. Truth is I used to be a teetotaler, but, y'know, with one thing and another, I switched to being more of a tee-partialer, and now I've become a tee-none-er. Hit me with your choice, why doncha. If I decide it's the best for me, it's cool, and if not? S'all good -- or, well, it's not all good, but it can't be crap if it's your recommendation. Feel free to order for both of us, yeah.

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