| ~Beyond the Border~ > Daiyousei's Cold Storage |
| The (Short) Saga of the Penguin and Keith/CPMC Poem Inclusion Sign-Up |
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| Tengukami:
--- Quote from: Professional Anime Character on September 30, 2009, 11:04:15 PM ---Write me an epic poem detailing the Linux penguin and the BSD daemon fighting the evil of Gates and Jobs. --- End quote --- --- Quote from: WIZARD on September 30, 2009, 11:12:44 PM ---furthermore, this poem must be written in the style of scandanavian epic you will get points for kenning use and casesoras --- End quote --- Then did the penguin rise at dawn filled he was on sea-sparrows from last eve He donned his helm and geek-splitter and rode westward to meet the foe he must cleave Partitioned his disk, he feared nothing afore him adware bandits ignored him, and so safe wast he When the sky-scorcher soared highest he saw appear on yon horizon, a wee red man Two horns hast he, and a small barbed tail holding a three-pronged nerd-piercer in hand He rode to him swiftly and spoke to him thus "Art thou not just, would you die for this land?" "Aye" said the daemon "for though I am small and few know my name from here to the earth's sill I have heard of you, penguin, and your noble feats and would ride with you, lending the force of mine will To defeat Ye Smarmy One, Jobs the Bald-Headed and Ye Great Dreaded Overlord of Darkness, Bill." "Let us ride then" sayeth the penguin, and ride then they did over earth-tits, across water-serpents, glens and heath Until they came at last to the valley of silicon the air so thick with neckbeard sweat, it was hard to breathe "We hath arrived, daemon" sayeth the penguin Sayeth the daemon, "Call me Keith." When suddenly a rumbling arose from the south and the hideous Jobs rose, drooling, scalp shining "Think different!" he bellowed, his foul breath flooding and the penguin and Keith wast heavily prespiring Yet neither pants-soiled and neither stepped back to attack was what the two were conspiring "Thou fraud!" yelled the penguin, and with his geek-splitter hacked "You who wears the cloak of the hipster, the cool Are naught but a shadow of thine Father, Bill, from whom thou learned everything, yes, he was your school! Aye, behold!" sayeth the penguin, his blade held aloft reflecting what oft Jobs ignored as a rule And yea, when Jobs beheld what he was in the reflection he saw, he shrieked, his fists curled and fell to the ground, and his brain-gourd split open and from within they did see the contents unfurled the next generation of a smudgy P.O.S. "What a mess" said the penguin. Sayeth Keith, "I might hurl." But lo - they did not cheer, nor celebrate long for then the sky darkened, clouds faded away The moon ran blood-red, stars fell to the ground birds pissed with fear, the earth started to sway And the penguin and Keith raised their blades to the sun for The Dark One, Bill, was coming their way Mere words cannot carry how fearsome Bill was the strongest man would sooner eat his own hands Before even so much as thinking of turning an ant-blink's look at this horror, this thing-not-a-man And so Bill gripped within his iron claws and razor-jaws the whole of the land. But the penguin and Keith, did not falter nor quake they dug in their heels, raised their geek-slashers high They roared with all their might, stamped their legs shook their arms, sent their blood-curses to the sky And they charged at Bill, with the aim to rend to bring him to an end, they saw his death nigh. And yet Bill did not see them, knew not they were there He stood there, smiling, as if the penguin and Keith were but mist Astounded, they yelled louder, but Bill did not hear Their air-daggers hurt him not, he raised nary a fist The penguin and Keith were left baffled, they could not believe this thing they would cleave didn't know they exist. Bill sits there still, his throne, growing moss He still owns the land, his power is secure The penguin and Keith, did not win, but did not die They live on, and though small, their aims are still sure And each in the valley can chose what hero he will the choice is there still, as long as Bill's blindness endures. |
| Ramus:
Epic And some good writing too. |
| Zengar Zombolt:
Now sing it. |
| Momiji:
すげええええええええええええ!!!! So Epic! T-T |
| Nachtwanderlied:
NOT ENOUGH KENNINGS nice use of half-striche |
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