I just got back from another 3km walk and was met with a delightful surprise. The servers went down as I arrived at my house, but apparently it was logging the extra meters I was walking even though it crashed, so when I opened the app again one of my eggs was out of the incubator, and in its place this little dude:

I couldn't have asked for a better result, barring one that was ultra-fat. One question, though. Why does this thing have
almost three times as much health as other ~200CP pokemon I have, who only have about 30? I knew the Igglybuff line had higher than normal health, but not 3x as much???
Also bonus round upon turning on the app in my room:
>try to catch it>THE SERVERS FUCKING GO DOWN>turn the app back on
>IT'S STILL THERE
D E T E R M I N A T I O N