~Hakurei Shrine~ > Patchouli's Scarlet Library
Remorse in Secession's Nobility
Usually Dead:
We have another Ibunshu installment!
The next story in the Retelling of Oriental Stories arc is Touhou Toshinanto, Remorse in Secession's Nobility.
Like always, it's available to read along with the rest of Ibunshu at my website, following the pathing:
http://usuallydead.com --> Stories --> Retelling of Oriental Stories
This newest story will be the first of two that act as preludes to Ibunshu's final installment. Please read, discuss, and post typos below!
Kilgamayan:
first
Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin:
Darn, not calling it "Retellishable Night." ;)
Herasy:
Ok, I just finished it. While the way Reisen seems to think about things reminded me a little too much of how Sakuya also thinks, I still like how you portrayed her. Reisen does indeed make the rough slightly inept soldier character fit her quite well.
Tewi is a jerk, as per usual. Although it seemed a little out of character for her to prank someone so far as to compromise the safety of the mansion and her rabbits.
I suppose I don't really have much to say about this installment like all installments. But it was still as wonderful to read as your previous installments. I look forward to the next parts!
Also a typo I noticed in chapter 5:
"I’m the only one who remained loyal after was ousted"
P.S
Spoiler: I smirked at the Eirin x Kaguya lesbianism
FinnKaenbyou:
I probably wasn't looking as intently as I could, but I found two typos in Part 5:
"Eirin kept her bow at the ready, but she didn?t draw the strong."
"The arrow disappeared into the mob, but not entirely. The arrowhead kept is effect."
It'd take me a while to say everything I LIKED about this story, so it might be faster to focus on the one thing that irked me a little.
I know that it's different because it's an origin story, but it was somewhat offputting to see Reisen think back to the whole Tsukito attack almost every five seconds. It's a valid point, yes, and perfectly logical, but sometimes it felt like it was happening a little too often.
That's not to say I didn't enjoy it - hell, I'll admit my pulse was probably racing during the Spoiler: Reisen attempting suicide scene - but as a reader I did slightly start saying 'alright, I get it, she's scarred after everyone she knew died and she ended up Spoiler: giving Sakuya over to Remilia, I don't need to keep seeing her break down in tears whenever she's alone'.
Besides that little complaint, it's your usual great work. In particular I actually really like the way you write Eirin, which means something since I normally don't care for her much as a character.
All in all, looking forward to seeing the continua-
--- Quote from: Usually Dead on August 27, 2009, 05:03:25 AM ---This newest story will be the first of two that act as preludes to Ibunshu's final installment.
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