~Hakurei Shrine~ > Kosuzu's Grand Bookstore
Third Eye In Pure Waters
Von Stein:
Aaaaas for the story at hand, I do agree that it needs continuation.
Very enjoyable so far.
[Enter unrecognizable attempts at constructive criticism here to make the post bigger]
Gpop:
I'll get on this once I finish reading Ruro's fic up to her latest installment.
Nine West:
--- Quote from: Roukanken on August 25, 2009, 12:57:00 AM ---I never really intended for there to be any combat in this, but I was considering possibly looking into Danmakufu a little when this is all over...:/
--- End quote ---
That would be perfectly fine for me when this was a short, but it isn't anymore, so...
Being that we're on Gensokyo, Danmaku battles should be a very common solution to problems. But, to be fair, the story itself didn't really have much of a conflict to begin with (which you can definitely build upon given that this is only the beginning).
Anyway, you are an Idiot Deity; I will put a lot of faith into you.
Bias Bus:
Hm, quite the interesting thing you got goin on here, and really we need a few fish type youkai around. (I think this was brought up in the Ideas thread some time ago about Gensokyo and it's marine life), mayhaps we'll see more of this.
Either way I had a good time reading this, nice work.
FinnKaenbyou:
"Okay, when you're treading water you want to keep your legs kicking all the time. Keep up a good rhythm, swing your arms and keep taking deep breaths."
As simple as she was, when it came to swimming Sango knew what she was talking about. She started off slowly by teaching Satori how to keep her head above water, staying close in case something went wrong. Satori picked up on the teaching with amazing ease, and in a matter of minutes she was treading water unassisted.
"Wow, you pick up fast! Koishi-chan never told me you were such a quick learner!"
Sango was genuinely impressed, unaware that Satori wasn't just learning from being told. Beneath the waves her third eye was staring straight at Sango's heart, looking deep into a memory from some time ago.
"Come on, you need to calm down a little. Stop splashing so much!"
Again it was Sango working as a swimming tutor, but this time her pupil was somewhat less cooperative. In fact, she was practically doing whatever she felt like.
Koishi...
Of course, she dipped beneath the water more than a few times, and Sango basically had to ram it into her head before Koishi starting doing it right. Satori simply copied what she saw, and avoided all the unnecessary complications that her sister had gone through.
"...I'm sure it's because you're such a good teacher."
A lie, but one with good intentions. Sango fell for it whole-heartedly, patting herself on the back.
"Of course it is! I've never had a pupil drown on me yet!"
But you've only had two pupils...and is not drowning really something to be proud about?
Next Satori was taught how to kick properly, Sango holding her arms as she lay face-down in the water. It was more difficult than treading water, and out of guilt Satori insisted on doing this one herself without copying Koishi.
"So you and Koishi get on well?"
Satori asked the question as she rose to take a breath, listening to Sango's answer as she submerged again.
"We sure do! She still shows up every so often and goes for a little swim with me. Never have any idea when she's going to show up, though. And keep your back straight, okay?"
Satori lifted her head again. "That's Koishi for you. She does what she wants, when she wants to."
As she dipped her head back into the water, Satori was suddenly aware that all the little fish from earlier were still watching her eagerly. She took a quick glance into some of their hearts out of curiosity.
"Is she gonna be like the last one and start prodding everything?"
"Hope she doesn't try taking someone home for a souvenir like the other one did."
They didn't seem to impressed by Koishi's antics, and they probably expected the same from her.
"Well, yeah, she does kinda do what she feels like, but that's one of the things I really like about her. She isn't scared about what other people think, she just goes her own way. I like people who are that confident, you know?"
Satori silently thought the point over. Was it okay for her to do what she wanted even if it involved stepping on everyone else's toes?
"...Um, are you okay? You can take a breath any time you want."
Satori jerked her head back up, knocked out of her internal debate by Sango.
"S-sorry. Can I ask you one more thing?"
"Sure thing. Shoot."
"Koishi...the last time you saw her, did she seem happy to you?"
Sango didn't take a moment to think it over. She nodded immediately.
"Definitely. Never seen a person as happy-go-lucky in my life. Then again, we don't really get many visitors around here..."
Satori sighed, a smile running across her face. If Koishi was happy, that was all that really mattered to her. Sango didn't seem aware just how much a simple statement like that actually meant.
"That's good to know. Thanks."
"Hey, don't mention it. And try not to splash so much when you're kicking, okay?"
---
In the space of an hour Satori was confident enough to start swimming on her own, thanks to a combination of Sango's thorough tutoring and Satori occasionally using her heart as a crib sheet. She did a quick length of the lake as a final test, Sango trailing along as a makeshift lifeguard.
Almost there...
Satori placed a hand on the other side of the lake, panting lightly. It had been tiring, but at the same time it was surprisingly fun. Sango applauded as she caught up.
"Amazing! Koishi-chan was here all night figuring this out, but you got it down so fast!"
As bad as the original idea may have been, Satori was glad that she'd done this. She really felt like she'd achieved something here, and she had managed to find out a little about Koishi while she was at it.
"I suppose I have an excellent teacher to thank for it."
Sango's face beamed, pride seeping out everywhere it could as she blushed furiously.
"Aw, you're too kind..."
The girls shared a small giggle as they congratulated each other.
"So...feel like going for a real swim?"
Sango dipped beneath the water, surfacing again in dolphin form. She turned her back to Satori, beckoning her to place her hand there.
"I'd be honoured."
She rested her hand lightly on Sango's back, taking a few deep breaths to prepare herself. Then, on a silent cue, the pair dove beneath the water together.
Without the impending fear of drowning, Satori was finally able to appreciate the beauty of the scenery beneath the surface. Sango certainly did her job pretty well from the looks of things.
"She seems a lot calmer, actually..."
She overheard one of the fish thinking about her, apparently no longer worried about her being the next Koishi. She took it as a compliment as she swam along serenely with Sango, who had deliberately slowed down so that her pupil could keep up. It was a relaxing, serene and highly enjoyable experience.
At least, until Sango decided to be a little adventurous.
"Can't catch me!"
The dolphin burst away, waiting at a distant edge of the lake for Satori to catch up. Only the fact that she was underwater stopped her from chuckling at Sango's antics.
Come on, I'm only a beginner...
Satori started to kick a little harder, compelled to do the whole journey on one breath. It wasn't that far, so there shouldn't have been any problem-
"Mm?"
Something moved in the corner of her eye. For a moment she thought it was Sango from the fin she could make out, but she could still see the dolphin in front of her. And besides, this fin seemed sharper, less like a dolphin's and more like-
"Satori-chan! Look out!"
-a shark's.
-----
I don't like leaving a story on a cliffhanger for too long, so I'm writing the last part right now. Feel free to comment until I get it out - it might take me a while, anyway. >_>