Topic: Third Eye In Pure Waters  (Read 22489 times)

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FinnKaenbyou

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Third Eye In Pure Waters
« on: August 25, 2009, 12:32:47 am »
Also known as 'The Short That Stopped Being Short'. This post'll just be for the excerpts that are left strewn around that topic, and I'll post updates here as they come.

(And yes the name sucks, but I couldn't think of anything better.)

"The thoughts of other characters are represented by inverted commas and italics."

-----

Getting out of the Palace unseen was easier than she had expected. Orin and Utsuho were sound asleep when she'd made her move, and Koishi was nowhere to be seen as usual. Besides that, more or less everyone had been more than keen to act as though she wasn't there, so she reached the surface without a hitch.

Just as well - they would be worried sick if they found out what I was doing.

The Mountain of Youkai was only a small walk away, and Satori made the trip alone. It was an unusually quiet trip, because not only was there nothing to hear there was no-one to hear. A chance to have some time to herself without other people's thoughts flooding her mind wasn't something that Satori was used to.

This must be how Koishi feels all the time.

She sighed unconsciously as her sister's name came up in her memories. Always running around and doing whatever she felt like - it was something that Satori had never felt. This little endeavor was supposed to be an attempt at emulating her sister's behaviour in an attempt to understand her a little better.

Her destination approached, a pristine lake at the foot of the mountain. She'd seen lakes underground, but none had ever had water this clean or enticing. There was probably more living in the water here than anything she had seen back home.

I have it all to myself, as well.

Satori began to undress, carefully sliding her clothing around the wires of her third eye. Beneath everything she was wearing a simple dark-blue swimsuit, the closest thing to swimwear you could hope to find underground. She sat at the lake's edge, testing the water with her feet. Cold, but bearable.

It was a thought that had sprung to her head from nowhere a short time ago - 'I wonder what swimming feels like'. She'd clung onto the idea insistently, one of her few random urges, and over the last few days she'd been making plans to sneak out for a night like this. True, she had no idea how to swim, but there were plenty of fish down here who probably knew plenty about it who she could learn from.

Orin would be having a fit right about now if she knew about this - saying that it was too dangerous or too reckless or something like that. It would have been a funny sight, almost a role reversal given their usual antics, but if she had found out there was no way she would have let Satori away with it.

"...Okay, then. Here I go."

She took a single deep breath as she pushed herself lightly into the water, making a small, quiet splash. This was Satori Komeiji's first swimming lesson, and she'd literally thrown herself in at the deep end.

---

Satori instinctively closed her eyes as she hit the water, taking a few seconds to get accustomed to the new surroundings. Her third eye was unaffected, as receptive as ever and already picking up murmurs from the nearby fish.

...There're all coming towards me. Does this usually happen?

True, a land-dweller jumping into your lake would probably attract your interest if you were a fish, but every living thing in the lake seemed to be interested in her. The wave of thoughts hit Satori hard, and she had to focus to pick out anything in particular.

"Look at that eye. Did the other girl have hers open?"

Other girl? Do they mean...Koishi?


The same thoughts were coming from more or less all of them, watching her curiously as she sank deeper into the lake. Unsure if she was meant to keep up appearances, Satori waved lightly to the crowd with a small grin. The fish turned to each other, murmuring about the sight.

"What's going on over here? Lemme see!"


One voice rose from behind the crowd, louder than the ones around it. The smaller fish dispersed immediately, letting the complaining creature take a look at Satori. It wasn't a fish, it was something different whose name Satori vaguely remembered from a book she'd read somewhere.

A...dolphin?

Its back was a dark shade of grey, with a lighter patch on its belly. It hastily started circling Satori, inspecting her from all angles. She felt vaguely like a piece of art on exhibition.

"She really looks a lot like Koishi-chan...actually, didn't she say that she had a sister?"

That thought was enough to grab Satori's attention. Her guess had been right - Koishi had been here before her, which was probably why she everyone down here was so interested in her. She would have replied to confirm the dolphin's suspicions, but the lack of air in her surroundings made that a bad idea.

"Blub?"

She hadn't realised it, but she'd been under for longer than she'd thought. Her lungs were getting impatient, and she hadn't had the chance to figure out how to swim from any of the nearby fish yet. She quickly looked into the heart of one of them, but the only thing she could make out was 'swing fin left, then right, then repeat'. Legs weren't anywhere near as flexible, and despite her growing worry Satori continued to sink.

This is bad...

"Blub-blub..."

Satori held a hand over her mouth to try and stop the air from escaping. She was slowly becoming aware that this whole swimming thing was one of the worst ideas she'd had in recent times. The dolphin reacted hastily to the sight of the girl in distress.

"And Koishi-chan didn't know how to swim, either. She'll need me to help her out..."

The dolphin stopped circling Satori, swimming in front and turning its back towards her. Well aware that it was trying to help her out of the water, Satori clung onto it with both hands and focused on not letting any more air loose. Despite the extra weight the dolphin made it to the surface with ease, helping Satori back onto dry land as she caught her breath.

"...Thanks for your help. I guess that was a bad idea on my part."

"You said it. That's twice I've had to save people like that."

The same voice as before, but something about it felt wrong to Satori. It was louder, more vibrant, less like a thought and more like actual speech.

But I don't remember dolphins being able to talk...

Turning back to the lake, Satori did a double-take as she realised the dolphin that had saved her was nowhere to be seen. In its place was a girl in her early teens with long silver hair and what looked like a dark grey fin coming out from the back of her neck. Satori facepalmed.

What am I talking about? This is Gensokyo. Everything talks in Gensokyo.

FinnKaenbyou

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2009, 12:36:13 am »
The dolphin youkai hauled herself out of the water with her newfound arms. As she pulled herself up Satori was able to see that she was wearing a pale blue shirt with bubble emblems running down the sleeves, and a light grey skirt which constantly seemed to be soaked. Around her waist were a pair of vials - one filled with water, the other with salt. She stretched her arms, yawning slightly as she sat down next to Satori.

"Why do people keep jumping into my lakes in the middle of the night, anyway? Dolphins need to sleep a little too..."

She pouted, rubbing her eyes to keep herself awake. Satori was hit by pangs of guilt as she realised she'd woken her up.

Looks like life in Gensokyo is even more plentiful than I thought.

"My apologies. I never really took the time to consider someone might be sleeping there."

"Yeah, neither did the last one. You two look a lot alike, actually."

The dolphin turned to Satori again, examining her more thoroughly than she had underwater. Her attention was drawn to the eye on Satori's chest, and she stared into it with her own dark blue eyes. Satori could tell from her expression that this wasn't her first time seeing one of these.

"Hey, have you ever met-"

"You wouldn't happen to know-"

Their questions overlapped, and both girls cut themselves short to allow the other to finish. Satori felt no need to complete her sentence - she already knew full well what was going on. The dolphin, on the other hand, seemed amazed by what she'd come across.

"You mean...you actually know Koishi-chan? You're her sister, aren't you! She's told you about me, right?"

Satori was tempted to look into her heart and just recite what she saw there, but that felt too much like a lie and so she simply shook her head.

"Not really. Koishi and I don't really see each other much."

The dolphin hung her head in disappointment.

"Aw...looks like the work of Sango Tororetsu is gonna go unheeded again..."

"Sango...Tororetsu?"

The youkai looked up, seeing an opportunity to sell herself. Satori noticed a glint of ambition in her eyes.

"Yeah, that's me! See these sparkling rivers and lakes you take for granted? They don't keep themselves clean, y'know!"

Sango stood up, grabbing the water-filled vial at her waist. She opened it, and allowed the tiniest drop to fall into the lake. There was a tiny ripple where the droplet hit the water, but otherwise there was no obvious change.

"And just like that, BAM! Anything toxic or dirty in the water goes poof! I can turn it to saltwater, too, if I use the other one."

It was certainly a decent pitch, but as Satori looked into the water she found it difficult to believe.

"It looks...exactly the same as it did before."

"Of course it does. I clean it all the time."

Apparently Sango wasn't aware that her statement effectively proved itself, totally sure that she'd convinced Satori completely. Unable to sense any deception in her heart, though, Satori took her word for it.

"Aaaanyway, you're really Koishi-chan's sister? The one who can read minds and stuff?"

Unsure if this was meant as a compliment, Satori nodded cautiously.

"That's me, Satori Komeiji, pleased to meet you."

Satori put her hand out to shake, but Sango ignored it. She was back to staring at the third eye, moving her head slightly and watching it follow her movements.

"So, wait. What am I thinking right now?"

"That there's no way I'll ever be able to guess what you're thinking."

Sango was astounded by the declaration, like a child watching a magic show. She applauded wildly.

"Wow! You really are as good as she said you were!"

Satori didn't have the heart to say that she wasn't trying that time, and that she was guessing that based on a hunch. For all her ambition and excitement, this girl was pretty simple in the head.

"But still, that was kind of a dumb thing you did there. Jumping into a lake when you don't even know how to swim...are you guys all crazy or what?"

And as soon as she had concluded the girl was simple, she found herself getting criticised by her. To be fair, she was doing so on pretty solid grounds.

"Well, I just thought it was the sort of ridiculous thing that Koishi would do, and I wanted to try it out for myself...but looking back, I agree that it was kind of ridiculous. I guess I didn't think swimming would be that hard..."

Sango sighed dramatically, holding her head in her hands in false embarrassment.

"Geez, I can't just sit here and let you go like this. What if you throw yourself into another lake and no-one's around to help you?"

Standing up again, she took a step forward and fell back into the water. Satori watched as she surfaced, still in human form, and raised a hand towards her.

"Come on, I'll teach you everything I know. Don't worry, I'll keep you safe."

Still a little nervous after her last attempt went horribly wrong, Satori was reluctant to accept the offer. Sango's proud smile, though, along with the genuine feelings of concern flowing through her heart, were enough to convince her to take the plunge and take her hand. Jumping into the water, she allowed Sango to support her weight by holding her beneath her arms.

"...Thanks. I really appreciate this."

"No problem. Just tell Koishi-chan that she owes me double next time she sees me, okay?"

-----

I'm not quite sure how Sango evolved from what was meant to be a nameless dolphin into a full-blown Touhou character. It started with me being irritated at not being able to produce proper dialogue and ended with me looking up kanji for an accurate enough name and coming up with a ZUN-style costume. >_>

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2009, 12:46:23 am »
The dolphin youkai hauled herself out of the water with her newfound arms. As she pulled herself up Satori was able to see that she was wearing a pale blue shirt with bubble emblems running down the sleeves, and a light grey skirt which constantly seemed to be soaked. Around her waist were a pair of vials - one filled with water, the other with salt. She stretched her arms, yawning slightly as she sat down next to Satori.

Oh crap, you went with clothes

Go on, go on.

Just don't forget to give her (flashy) Danmaku too, OK?

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2009, 12:51:49 am »
yay my idea was used :)

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2009, 12:57:00 am »
Just don't forget to give her (flashy) Danmaku too, OK?
I never really intended for there to be any combat in this, but I was considering possibly looking into Danmakufu a little when this is all over...:/

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #5 on: August 25, 2009, 02:49:18 am »
Aaaaas for the story at hand, I do agree that it needs continuation.
Very enjoyable so far.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #6 on: August 25, 2009, 02:56:27 am »
I'll get on this once I finish reading Ruro's fic up to her latest installment.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #7 on: August 25, 2009, 04:00:24 am »
I never really intended for there to be any combat in this, but I was considering possibly looking into Danmakufu a little when this is all over...:/

That would be perfectly fine for me when this was a short, but it isn't anymore, so...

Being that we're on Gensokyo, Danmaku battles should be a very common solution to problems. But, to be fair, the story itself didn't really have much of a conflict to begin with (which you can definitely build upon given that this is only the beginning).

Anyway, you are an Idiot Deity; I will put a lot of faith into you.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #8 on: August 25, 2009, 07:08:07 am »
Hm, quite the interesting thing you got goin on here, and really we need a few fish type youkai around. (I think this was brought up in the Ideas thread some time ago about Gensokyo and it's marine life), mayhaps we'll see more of this.

Either way I had a good time reading this, nice work.
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #9 on: August 25, 2009, 09:03:48 pm »
"Okay, when you're treading water you want to keep your legs kicking all the time. Keep up a good rhythm, swing your arms and keep taking deep breaths."

As simple as she was, when it came to swimming Sango knew what she was talking about. She started off slowly by teaching Satori how to keep her head above water, staying close in case something went wrong. Satori picked up on the teaching with amazing ease, and in a matter of minutes she was treading water unassisted.

"Wow, you pick up fast! Koishi-chan never told me you were such a quick learner!"

Sango was genuinely impressed, unaware that Satori wasn't just learning from being told. Beneath the waves her third eye was staring straight at Sango's heart, looking deep into a memory from some time ago.

"Come on, you need to calm down a little. Stop splashing so much!"

Again it was Sango working as a swimming tutor, but this time her pupil was somewhat less cooperative. In fact, she was practically doing whatever she felt like.

Koishi...

Of course, she dipped beneath the water more than a few times, and Sango basically had to ram it into her head before Koishi starting doing it right. Satori simply copied what she saw, and avoided all the unnecessary complications that her sister had gone through.

"...I'm sure it's because you're such a good teacher."

A lie, but one with good intentions. Sango fell for it whole-heartedly, patting herself on the back.

"Of course it is! I've never had a pupil drown on me yet!"

But you've only had two pupils...and is not drowning really something to be proud about?

Next Satori was taught how to kick properly, Sango holding her arms as she lay face-down in the water. It was more difficult than treading water, and out of guilt Satori insisted on doing this one herself without copying Koishi.

"So you and Koishi get on well?"

Satori asked the question as she rose to take a breath, listening to Sango's answer as she submerged again.

"We sure do! She still shows up every so often and goes for a little swim with me. Never have any idea when she's going to show up, though. And keep your back straight, okay?"

Satori lifted her head again. "That's Koishi for you. She does what she wants, when she wants to."

As she dipped her head back into the water, Satori was suddenly aware that all the little fish from earlier were still watching her eagerly. She took a quick glance into some of their hearts out of curiosity.

"Is she gonna be like the last one and start prodding everything?"

"Hope she doesn't try taking someone home for a souvenir like the other one did."


They didn't seem to impressed by Koishi's antics, and they probably expected the same from her.

"Well, yeah, she does kinda do what she feels like, but that's one of the things I really like about her. She isn't scared about what other people think, she just goes her own way. I like people who are that confident, you know?"

Satori silently thought the point over. Was it okay for her to do what she wanted even if it involved stepping on everyone else's toes?

"...Um, are you okay? You can take a breath any time you want."

Satori jerked her head back up, knocked out of her internal debate by Sango.

"S-sorry. Can I ask you one more thing?"

"Sure thing. Shoot."

"Koishi...the last time you saw her, did she seem happy to you?"

Sango didn't take a moment to think it over. She nodded immediately.

"Definitely. Never seen a person as happy-go-lucky in my life. Then again, we don't really get many visitors around here..."

Satori sighed, a smile running across her face. If Koishi was happy, that was all that really mattered to her. Sango didn't seem aware just how much a simple statement like that actually meant.

"That's good to know. Thanks."

"Hey, don't mention it. And try not to splash so much when you're kicking, okay?"

---

In the space of an hour Satori was confident enough to start swimming on her own, thanks to a combination of Sango's thorough tutoring and Satori occasionally using her heart as a crib sheet. She did a quick length of the lake as a final test, Sango trailing along as a makeshift lifeguard.

Almost there...

Satori placed a hand on the other side of the lake, panting lightly. It had been tiring, but at the same time it was surprisingly fun. Sango applauded as she caught up.

"Amazing! Koishi-chan was here all night figuring this out, but you got it down so fast!"

As bad as the original idea may have been, Satori was glad that she'd done this. She really felt like she'd achieved something here, and she had managed to find out a little about Koishi while she was at it.

"I suppose I have an excellent teacher to thank for it."

Sango's face beamed, pride seeping out everywhere it could as she blushed furiously.

"Aw, you're too kind..."

The girls shared a small giggle as they congratulated each other.

"So...feel like going for a real swim?"

Sango dipped beneath the water, surfacing again in dolphin form. She turned her back to Satori, beckoning her to place her hand there.

"I'd be honoured."

She rested her hand lightly on Sango's back, taking a few deep breaths to prepare herself. Then, on a silent cue, the pair dove beneath the water together.

Without the impending fear of drowning, Satori was finally able to appreciate the beauty of the scenery beneath the surface. Sango certainly did her job pretty well from the looks of things.

"She seems a lot calmer, actually..."

She overheard one of the fish thinking about her, apparently no longer worried about her being the next Koishi. She took it as a compliment as she swam along serenely with Sango, who had deliberately slowed down so that her pupil could keep up. It was a relaxing, serene and highly enjoyable experience.

At least, until Sango decided to be a little adventurous.

"Can't catch me!"

The dolphin burst away, waiting at a distant edge of the lake for Satori to catch up. Only the fact that she was underwater stopped her from chuckling at Sango's antics.

Come on, I'm only a beginner...

Satori started to kick a little harder, compelled to do the whole journey on one breath. It wasn't that far, so there shouldn't have been any problem-

"Mm?"

Something moved in the corner of her eye. For a moment she thought it was Sango from the fin she could make out, but she could still see the dolphin in front of her. And besides, this fin seemed sharper, less like a dolphin's and more like-

"Satori-chan! Look out!"

-a shark's.

-----

I don't like leaving a story on a cliffhanger for too long, so I'm writing the last part right now. Feel free to comment until I get it out - it might take me a while, anyway. >_>
« Last Edit: August 26, 2009, 12:28:55 am by Roukanken »

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #10 on: August 25, 2009, 11:49:09 pm »
I hate sharks! [/Francis]
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #11 on: August 26, 2009, 12:28:21 am »
And, by request, have some combat!

-----

Satori's first impulse was to break for the surface, but the predator had already predicted that move. It rose up to block her, its cold black eyes looking at her with a primal hunger. Desperately looking for a way to tame the beast, she looked through its heart for something resembling rational thought. There was only one thought running through its mind.

"Eat."

It hung above her, tracing her movements as she tried to find her way around it. It clearly wasn't a youkai like Sango, but rather an ordinary fish looking for its next meal.

But I don't want it to be me!

Despite her best efforts, Satori hadn't managed to pick up the speed to outrun a shark. It continued to hover over her, still watching with its dead eyes. Sango began to dash back across the lake, her mind racing as quickly as her pulse.

"How did I let this happen? I thought the sharks were all away in other lakes, and even then what are they doing awake at this hour!?"

Sango made to slam into the shark, but before she could make it something slammed into her side. She let off a small cry of pain, turning to realise that this shark wasn't stupid enough to hunt alone.

"T-Two of them..."

Sango was getting frightened now. She might have been able to handle one shark on her own, but two was beyond her. Satori was still trapped, the first of the two sharks still looming over her. She wondered momentarily why it hadn't moved to eat her already, but another quick scan of its heart answered the question for her.

"Drown."

As if on command, Satori felt air push its way out of her lungs. This wasn't a primal, savage hunter - it knew her weakness, and it was exploiting it to its utmost. She had two choices - try to swim up and get eaten, or stay down here and drown for sure.

That's an unfair choice...

"B-blub blub..."

She was struggling now, her chest starting to burn. She turned to Sango with frightened, pleading eyes.

Help me...

Sango was frozen in place, trapped between saving herself and saving her new friend. It was too dangerous, too risky, she'd get herself killed-

"...She isn't scared about what other people think, she just goes her own way. I like people who are that confident, you know?..."

"No...Koishi-chan wouldn't think like that...and neither should I!"

Her own words ringing in her head, Sango threw her fears aside. She'd be no use fighting as a dolphin, so she willed herself back into youkai form. She produced a small piece of paper, mentally reciting the incantation due to a lack of other options. Satori heard it loud and clear, her third eye still working fine amidst the chaos.

"As the dirty waters are made pure, strike down my enemies with what remains!
Cleansing Sign [Purified Greywater]!"


As the chant concluded, a wave of dull grey bullets started to appear in front of Sango. The shark stopping her, realising that she was preparing an attack, charged her to try and cut the casting short.

"Gotcha~"

She clicked her fingers, and immediately each bullet split into two. Flying away from the shark were a series of bright blue bullets, and coming towards it was a barrage of black ones. If it had stayed back it might have had a chance of dodging, but at this range there was nothing it could do.

Danmaku is specifically meant to be non-fatal, so the shark was simply knocked out as the bullets struck it. For a moment Sango congratulated herself, her plan having worked without a hitch.

Then the second shark turned to her.

"Uh-oh..."

This was the reason she'd been so worried - she hadn't ever managed to go beyond one spellcard. She quickly realised that she'd left herself defenseless as the shark approached.

"But still, at least Satori-chan is going to get away safely, right?"

She glanced around the shark, hoping to see Satori taking the opportunity to take a breath.

Her hopes went ignored.

"S-Satori-chan!? What are you doing?!"

Satori's lungs felt like they were going to burst, but she mustered together the willpower to ignore it. She had come to the same conclusion Sango had - worrying about little things like her own safety didn't matter when a friend's life was on the line.

Time to show her...just what this third eye can really do.

The eye on her chest opened wide, focusing intently on Sango. She focused her mind on the one memory that she needed, a single card silently appearing in her hand.

...As the dirty waters are made pure, strike down my enemy with what remains.

It was one thing to copy someone's spellcard on dry land. It was another thing entirely to do it underwater, without a physical incantation, and on the verge of drowning. But still, Sango watched in awe as her own card manifested itself in Satori's hand, ready to be used.

...Cleansing Sign [Purified Greywater].

The card Satori produced was a poor imitation, consisting of maybe half the bullets Sango's had, but in a situation like this it was the best that she could hope for. Given that the shark was still unaware of what was going on behind it, it was also all she needed.

Click.

Another wave of black bullets appeared, flying towards the shark with just as much force as Sango's. It only had enough time to turn around, bewildered, before it was out cold.

For a moment, Sango was frozen in amazement. Satori had just taken her card, figured out what made it tick, and reproduced it in a matter of seconds. It was an incredible sight, far more impressive than simply learning how to swim easily.

"G-glug..."

Then she remembered something much more important.

"Satori-chan!!"

Satori's hands were clasped around her mouth, but bubbles still seeped through her fingers by the dozens. Her eyes had jammed themselves shut, and she had nowhere near enough energy to propel herself to the surface. Sango grabbed her around the waist, hastily trying to pull her out of the water.

"C'mon, kick with me! Hurry!"

Sango saw Satori's eyes turn to her for the briefest moment. Then, slowly at first, she felt her kicking like she'd been taught, getting stronger and stronger until the pair began to rise upwards. The surface was getting closer and closer, until finally...

Air!

Satori had never been happier to take a breath in her life.

"We...made it..."

She gasped out a cry of relief between gasps as Sango led her to the shore. After a few breaths she managed to find the strength to swim back to shore, Sango following suit.

"You okay? You're not hurt, right?"

Sango rubbed at her shoulder, where a painful bruise had formed after the shark collided with her. Thanks to Satori's intervention, though, that was the worst of her injuries.

"I'm fine...just a little...short of breath..."

"That's good."

Sango sat down next to Satori, in the same way she had last time she'd pulled her out of the water. This time, though, she owed Satori as much as Satori owed her.

"...So...I assume I passed?"

Satori smirked, still panting heavily. Sango couldn't help but grin in return.

"You sure did, Satori-chan. You sure did."

They sat smiling like idiots towards each other, but both of them knew that it was someone else entirely who they owed their thanks to. Someone who'd set the example they both ended up following, giving them the courage they needed to do the right thing.

Koishi...thank you.

---

"Satori-samaaaa!"

Orin's shout echoed across the plain unanswered. The trail was a few hours old, but there was just enough left for her to follow.

"But where would she go in the middle of the night? This is the sort of thing Koishi-sama would do..."

She realised that she was coming up to a lake, the trail coming to an end. She could make out two people talking in the distance, Satori and another voice she couldn't recognise.

"...So, I can just drop by any time?"

"Sure. I'll try and arrange a few things next time and stop the sharks from showing up again, or at least tell them that you're a friend of mine. It'll work out, I promise."

Orin had no idea what sort of conversation she'd walked in on, but apparently it was almost finished. She decided to let them finish and catch Satori on the way out.

"Oh, and...if you see Koishi-"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll say you were looking for her. Don't worry about it."

"Alright. ...Thanks again."

As their talk concluded Orin heard someone coming closer, recognising her master's light steps. She hung around a corner and turned in false surprise.

"Oh, Satori-sama! I was looking for y- wait, what's that under your shirt?"

Apparently Satori had hastily thrown her clothes back on recently, because her shirt was folded upwards slightly. Beneath it Orin could make out something blue...it couldn't be what she thought it was, that'd be ridiculous...

"Ah, Orin. Your timing is excellent."

Satori firmly grabbed her pet around the shoulder.

"H-Hey, what're you doing!? I'm the one who's meant to be leading you home!"

"Orin, I've decided that I need to buy you a swimsuit."

Satori began to pull at Orin's arm, dragging her back to the passage underground. The cat was initially too stunned to respond, before suddenly jerking back to reality.

"A swimsuit? Why would you want to buy me a swimsuit?"

"So I can teach you how to swim, obviously."

Silence.

"...Sorry, did I hear that wrong? I thought you said that you wanted to teach me how to-"

"Swim? Yes, that's exactly what I said."

Again, it took Orin a few seconds to recover from this statement. When she did, her response was somewhat...desperate.

"You're kidding, right!? Why would I even need to swim? I don't need to do it anytime normally, and I really don't like water, so-"

"You're fine with taking baths, aren't you? And don't worry, I'll let Okuu learn along with you. If I can't teach you, I know an excellent tutor~"

"I take baths because I need to! And Okuu's gonna hate this just as much, she's a bird for crying out loud!"

She was moaning like a spoiled brat, but Satori could tell that she didn't mean it. This was just how Orin acted all the time - after a little resistance she'd be sure to enjoy it.

"And why do you even want me to learn to swim, anyway!?"

Satori turned to her with one of the most genuine and cheerful smiles Orin had seen from her in years.

"Oh, just call it a random idea that came to me."

THIRD EYE IN PURE WATERS

GOOD ENDING #1


-----

I'm happy with how this ended up finishing, to be honest. The whole 'Satori and Sango saving each other' thing gave me a pretty good opening to link back to Koishi, and it feels better as an ending in general.
As much as I typically dislike OCs, Sango ended up growing on me amazingly quickly
(probably thanks to all the effort I put into making her look legitimate) and it's sort of a shame that there isn't much room to use her elsewhere. I was looking for an excuse to teach myself a little DNH anyway, so I might end up trying to program something along the lines of this Purified Greywater card (to be fair, from what I know about the program, something like this won't be especially hard).
Hell, I'd draw her myself if I wasn't the worst artist in recorded history.

Anyway, thanks for reading through it all. Feel free to comment and stuff.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #12 on: August 26, 2009, 01:28:21 am »
I think I should be able to code Purified Greywater~ Also, you've obviously been playing Tales again.

Very nice. I love reading these.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #13 on: August 26, 2009, 02:41:04 am »
And, by request, have some combat!

Cleansing Sign [Purified Greywater]

My prayers have been answered... My faith in you really pays off...

...Roukanken, the true Idiot Deity.

It turned out greater than I expected; simply well done.

Good Ending #1? Are you planning on multiple endings/installments?

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #14 on: August 26, 2009, 02:48:20 am »
Write a Bad Ending
No. For once, I'd rather be stayed of the despair they bring.

Ah, it looks like this has come to an end I see, not too long and a general joy to read. I don't really see this continuing in any sort of way, but if it does, I'll gladly read up on it~
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #15 on: August 26, 2009, 03:50:12 am »
As a former swim instructor for the city pool, I was touched by this.

Especially with:
"Of course it is! I've never had a pupil drown on me yet!"

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #16 on: August 26, 2009, 03:50:32 am »
Nah, make the kind of Bad Ending that you'd find in a Touhou game, more of a "dammit, we lost a danmaku duel" than "Kanako, what's going on there? KANAKOOOOO! *but the future refused to change*"
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #17 on: August 26, 2009, 09:45:59 am »
Also, you've obviously been playing Tales again.
As in 'Koishi sounds a hell of a lot like Yuri'? Or Karol-style 'I'll protect my friends no matter what the cost'?
...Ohgodnowihavekoishiasyuriinmyheadanditsjustexpandingfromtheremakeitgoaway

Good Ending #1? Are you planning on multiple endings/installments?
Not really, it was mostly for the sake of writing this.

-----

This is bad...

"Blub-blub..."

Satori held a hand over her mouth to try and stop the air from escaping. She was slowly becoming aware that this whole swimming thing was one of the worst ideas she'd had in recent times. The dolphin's eyes followed each bubble as it rose upwards.

...Is it going to help me?

The dolphin looked her in the eye for a single instant. Maybe she'd let her grab on and carry her to the surface-

"I'M FASTER THAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER LOL"

Taking the opportunity to show off, the dolphin zoomed across to the other side of the lake, taking no interest in Satori's plight.

"Glug glug..."

Satori hit the bottom of the lake, her lungs empty. She felt her consciousness fading. This was it.

Only one thing worth doing...

With the last of her strength, she extended the middle finger in her left hand and held it up for the dolphin to see.

Jerk.

THIRD EYE IN PURE WATERS

BAD ENDING #1


---

Koishi-chan's Bad End Corner

*Koishi walks out wearing a pair of glasses, holding a small blackboard and pointer stick*

Hi, everybody!
The time has come to teach Nee-chan, who has walked into her first Dead End.
It's time for Koishi-chan's Bad End Corner!

Oh, this is a sad one.
You're sitting there, floundering around, and Sango-chan just leaves you there.
Actually, this one isn't really your fault, Nee-chan.
Sango-chaaaaaan!

*Sango appears from offscreen in youkai form*

"Hm? Yeah, what is it?"

Why'd you let Nee-chan drown like that?

"...She was drowning? I thought those bubbles were coming out of an engine or something. ...She wasn't challenging me to a race?"

...Well, that pretty much says it all.
This is the kind of person who you need to save you, Nee-chan.
It'll help if you make things as obvious as possible around Sango-chan.
If you don't, things like this end up happening.

"Huh? Who are you talking to, Koishi-chan?"

No-one at all~

-----

Why yes, Tsukihime was the first VN I ever played. What makes you think that?

After some thought, I might be able to produce a follow-up where she teaches Orin and Okuu...

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #18 on: August 26, 2009, 10:53:55 am »
But how will Okuu swim with an NUCLEAR CONTROL RAD FOR AN ARM and a FREAKING CONCREAT LEG!?

No, but seriously, This was an awesome thing, I'd love to read more stories from you <3
Wotters gonna' wot

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #19 on: August 26, 2009, 12:35:11 pm »
But how will Okuu swim with an NUCLEAR CONTROL RAD FOR AN ARM and a FREAKING CONCREAT LEG!?
Well, that's a question for Sango to answer, isn't it? ^_^

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #20 on: August 26, 2009, 04:20:29 pm »
The dolphin looked her in the eye for a single instant. Maybe she'd let her grab on and carry her to the surface-

"I'M FASTER THAN YOU MOTHERFUCKER LOL"


Satori hit the bottom of the lake, her lungs empty. She felt her consciousness fading. This was it.

Only one thing worth doing...

With the last of her strength, she extended the middle finger in her left hand and held it up for the dolphin to see.

Jerk.

haha oh wow

that was GREAT

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #21 on: August 26, 2009, 04:21:28 pm »
*slow clap + deadpan*
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #22 on: August 26, 2009, 04:40:31 pm »
Dolphins ARE assholes, when you think about it, if only because they might think you're playing when in reality you're actually drowning...

In anycase, I throughly laughed at this bad end, and it seems you have intentions of continuing on...well, let's see if you actually do.
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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #23 on: August 26, 2009, 05:07:56 pm »
Dolphin bitch.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #24 on: August 26, 2009, 08:46:47 pm »
Actually I was referring to the incantation for Purified Greywater, but that works too.

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Third Eye In Pure Waters (Extra Stage Start!)
« Reply #25 on: August 26, 2009, 10:44:06 pm »
Actually I was referring to the incantation for Purified Greywater, but that works too.
Well yeah, I guess my response proved the point for you. >_>
So are you actually intending to program that attack? I'll admit that when I actually sat down and tried I failed miserably...need to really get some practice with it considering I'm going off to study freaking GAMES TECHNOLOGY next month. :|

Anyway, like I promised.

DIFFICULTY SELECT:
Easy - Swim like a rock
Normal - Swim like a human
Hard - Swim like a kappa
Lunatic - Swim like a fish
Extra - Swim like a dolphin

Extra - Adventures shared are adventures doubled.
This was the girl's mindset as she began this new journey.


-----

A few days had passed since Satori's little escapade, and already she was taking another trip to the surface. This time, however, she had a pair of companions trailing behind her.

"Nyaa...Satori-sama, you can still change your mind..."

Orin groaned yet another complaint, which (like every one before it) went unnoticed. Satori strode on regardless, her destination set, and there was nothing Orin could do about it.

"...Seriously, Okuu, are you okay with this?"

Utsuho was walking besides Orin, but she shared none of her friend's reluctance. In fact, she was strolling along quite happily, apparently anticipating the trip.

"What is there to be worried about, Orin? Satori-sama isn't mean. If she says we'll enjoy it, we'll probably enjoy it."

And that was all she had to say on the matter, running ahead to catch up with Satori and make it there faster. As Orin's last objections fell into the distance, Satori's march came to a halt. They'd reached their destination, a small lake not far from the Mountain of Youkai.

"Alright, you two. Let's see how those look on you."

Utsuho nodded eagerly, almost tearing at her shirt as she pulled it off, revealing the jet-black one-piece she was wearing underneath. A small slit had been cut out of the chest area, giving the red eye there room to stick out. In comparison, Orin seemed outright afraid as she stripped, taking off her long green dress and showing the simple light-green bikini beneath it. It had taken Satori some time to convince her to try it on, but she eventually managed to get a murmur of acceptance out of the cat.

"We look really stupid in these..."

Physically Orin continued to protest, but mentally she was saying something different entirely.

"Why do I like wearing this!? It's exposing and demeaning, but why is it so freaking cute?!"

Utsuho was much more honest with her feelings, looking down on herself with pride. Satori, in the same dark blue swimsuit she had been wearing last time, walked over to the edge of the lake.

"Here, let me show you how it's done."

Satori dove headfirst into the water, like a trained professional. It was simply a move she'd seen someone else do, but she had a habit for picking things up quickly. Orin watched nervously, almost afraid that she wasn't going to surface, but Satori's head bobbed above the water just as she was about to start panicking.

"See? Nothing to worry about."

She swam towards the centre of the lake with an efficient front crawl, repeating what she'd been taught flawlessly. Orin looked on, surprised, while Utsuho started clapping her hand against the control rod on her other arm.

"Wow, wow! Satori-sama is amazing!"

Reaching the centre, Satori turned underwater and started to make her way back. Orin could see that she was smiling, and despite the physical effort she was putting in she seemed to genuinely be having a good time.

"...Well, if it's that fun...I guess I can give it a shot..."

She murmured it, but honestly she was just glad she finally had an excuse to do this. She was aware that for some reason Utsuho had taken a few steps backwards, unable to hear her. Satori reached the lake edge in the midst of this, breathing hard but besides that she was fine.

"Alright, I don't want you two to be idiots like I was. There's a beach over on that side of the lake, so start off over there-"

"GERONIMOOOO~!"

Utsuho missed her master's warning, taking a massive run-up before leaping into the water. She flew over Satori's head, landing with a tremendous splash that left even Orin soaked.

"Cold, cold, cold...Okuu, why'd you have to do that?"

There was no answer from the raven. After the ripples from the splash died down, there was no sign of her in the slightest.

Then the first few bubbles started to surface.

"...Okuu?"

Logically, if she'd been flailing as she hit the water, she would have at least been close to the surface. Any force like that, though, was counteracted by the extra weight she was carrying - the rod on her arm, and a rock hanging on her right foot. This was why Satori had been hoping to keep her at the shallow end.

Blub. Blub, blub.

The first few tiny bubbles broke the surface.

"Okuu...!"

-----

No idea how long this one's going to last, so I'll just see how it goes.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #26 on: August 26, 2009, 10:50:38 pm »
Good job Utsuho.

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #27 on: August 26, 2009, 11:04:25 pm »
Can someone explain where "GERONIMOOOO" comes from?

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #28 on: August 26, 2009, 11:16:32 pm »

Dizzy H. "Muffin" Muffin

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Re: Third Eye In Pure Waters
« Reply #29 on: August 27, 2009, 07:28:50 am »
.....

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