This is why I use Editpad for my post-making needs. I feel your pain, bro. 
Here's hoping next week will cool the hell down so I can actually stream this game to my friends...My mic is set up to catch the sound from both me and my speakers, and I can't exactly do that with my AC blaring.
I have my first few entries saved as drafts in my email account. Considering that I had no problems with major edits to each before, I thought I would be in the clear. I guess not.


We rejoin our crew outside of Crescent after returning from a 2 week vacation traveling the world and accomplishing nothing much in particular. Great work, team! The first thing we do in this lovely island town is trigger an earthquake. Let's tack initiating a catastrophic natural disaster onto our list of previous crimes including gross negligence leading to the death and catatonia of two separate regents, two counts of destruction of core government buildings, two counts of negligence leading to the destruction of key natural resources, dozens of counts of larceny, drug possession, and loitering (I needed to go to the bathroom while playing last time).

Just checking, lady.

Hey, our ride! Does our insurance cover this?

Just a small town gir~l. Livin' in a LONE-LY WOR~LD. The team knows how to respond to property damage: Busting into someone's house and jammin'.

Then harassing an endangered species. Now for the Final Fantasy equivalent of driving home with a huge dent in the front bumper of your dad's corvette.

Dad I'm so sorry please lemme explain there was an earthquake and a whirlpool an-oop nevermind.

Dad suggests swapping out the boat for some live transportation. The secret? Making it un-alive. Thank goodness no berserkers this year!

Thanks, real dad. This is why Cid is so much cooler.

Through some bizarre plot-related twist of fate, the teleporter warps us halfway around the world right on top of where we wish to be anyway - back with our ship. Conveniently, it's made a friend in the form of an airship. Aw, how sweet!

Yikes! A palette swapped boss!

One that wishes it weren't weak to thunder!

Monty realizes that the team's stomachs are more of a concern than the boss.

So here's the thing with beastmasters. Yes, you have to labor over finding a good enemy to catch, whittle them down to an inch of their life, then picking the right time to use them all of once before having to wait to repeat the whole cycle. HOWEVER, the number of tricks in their bag is not limited to a single party trick attained after doing a chore. So here we have Prototype, the toughest baddie in the land for world 1. I can't even damage the guy.

But !Control comes to the rescue! That flat 40% success rate is good enough for me, especially since it works on the local toughie. Nifty! We now get a choice from a short list of abilities which it will use on our target of choice.Even then, we can't even get it to hurt itself, but there's one more trick up our sleeves.

Yup. No one can harm the prototype in any capacity, but it can be beat by having him self destruct. I take full advantage of this a few times over.


Adamantoise is a snap once I remember which elemental weakness it has.

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The fights with the smaller cannons go very quickly because the party features two knights of different flavors attacking with thunder swords. On a side note, Mystic Knights are VERY quick and can pump out the DPS thanks to getting off that spellblade move early, but here it's not even necessary.

The Soul Cannon proves to be a bit of a bear because I don't have much in the way of healing. After a wipe and a good draw with who gets olded, the group pulls through.

Thanks for the goodies, pal. The number of Dark Matters comes from the number of times I had fun roughing up the Prototype. Such is the fate of Team Heaven, Heaven, Heaven, Limbo. Join us next time for the exciting adventures of Team Mile High, Clubbing Archaeoavis to Death or Team Willy Ronka and the Job Factory.