Replace a fictional character with a 2hu

[Lt Colonel Summers]

Pick any work of fiction. Then pick any number of characters from that work. Now, replace said character with a 2hu of your choice. Bonus points if you are able to provide the dialogue held by the original characters.
Here's an example...

Former character - replacement
James Bond
007 - Reisen Udongein Inaba
M - Kaguya
Q - Nitori
Moneypenny - Hatate

Quotes:
"The name's Udongein. Reisen Udongein." - Reisen (pretty much every installment)
"I trust that you will stay on-the-top of things...?" - Kaguya (said by M in Golden Eye)
"Were you expecting an exploding cucumber?" - Nitori (said by Q in Skyfall, with exploding pens of course)

(Skipped Hatate because Moneypenny don't have much lines)

[Aya Reiko]

"I'm in a hostile environment. I'm totally unprepared. And I'm surrounded by a bunch of guys who probably want to kick my ass... it's like being back in high school. " - Sanae upon first arriving in Gensokyo.

[Lt Colonel Summers]

From which work did the original quote come from? It will be nice if you can clarify it.

[Spotty Len]

From which work did the original quote come from? It will be nice if you can clarify it.

You should click on the link in his post.

Spoiler:

(It's Johnny Cage from the Mortal Kombat movie.)

[Shiina Tamai]

"I am a mushroom cloud and you have extensible arms"

- Utsuho to Nitori in Pu-239

[Your Everyday NEET]

Reimu: Die monster, you don't belong in this world.
Remilia: It was not by my hand that I once again given FLESH. I was called here by HUUMANS who wish to pay ME tribute.
Reimu: Tribute? You changed their fate and make them your slaves.
Remilia: Perhaps the same could be said for all religions
Reimu: Your words are as EMPTY as your soul. Mankind ill needs a savior such as you
Remilia: What is a man?
[Record needle scratch]
Reimu: Umm........ I'm a woman.

Come on, it should be obvious where that dialogue comes from.

For those who did not know

Spoiler:

it was based from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

[Lt Colonel Summers]

On the internet, one does not assume everybody knows the origins of a quote or scene, because there may be one or two people that truly doesn't know about the quote in the first place.

Next one...

Yukari: "The terrorists calls themselves Daughters Of Liberty, and their leader is Marisa Kirisame..."
Reimu: "The heroine of Youkai Mountain?"
Yukari: "That's what she said, but she can't be THE Marisa Kirisame. For all we know, she died two years ago on the Palanquin Ship when she blew it sky high."
Reimu: "Could she have survived?"
Yukari: "Not a chance..."
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty

[Leon゠Helsing]

Seija: "This is sickening... You sound like chapters from a self-help booklet!"
Final Fantasy VI

[Your Everyday NEET]

On the internet, one does not assume everybody knows the origins of a quote or scene, because there may be one or two people that truly doesn't know about the quote in the first place.

Sorry about that, I won't do that again next time

Reimu: we've got to have, donations

One of the antagonist from Tom & Jerry the Movie

[Tengukami]

Guess the movie without Googling and good luck will follow you the rest of the day. Language cleaned up a little from the original for our work-safe board.

(Marisa, Suika, Yuugi, Byakuren, Sakuya, Patchouli and Meiling have just finished having lunch at Hakurei Shrine and are about to leave.)

    Marisa: C'mon, throw in a donation!
    Suika: Uh-uh, I don't donate.
    Marisa: You don't donate?
    Suika: I don't believe in it.
    Marisa: You don't believe in donating?
    Yuugi: You know what these shrine maidens make? They make crap.
    Suika: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
    Marisa: I don't even know a Lunarian who'd have the nerve to say that. Let me get this straight: you don't ever donate, huh?
    Suika: I don't donate because society says I have to. Alright, I mean I'll donate if somebody really deserves a donation. If they put forth the effort, I'll give them something extra. But I mean, this donating automatically, it's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned they're just doing their job.
    Yuugi: Hey, this girl was nice.
    Suika: She was OK. But she wasn't anything special.
    Yuugi: What's special? Take you in the back and polish your horns?
    Marisa: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
    Suika: Look, I ordered sake, alright? And we been here a long time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order sake I want it filled six times.
    Sakuya: Six times? Well, what if she's too busy?
    Suika: The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a shrine maiden's vocabulary.
    Marisa: Excuse me Suika, but the last thing you need is another cup of sake.
    Suika: I mean, these ladies aren't starving to death. They make minimum wage. You know, I used to work minimum wage and when I did I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed donation-worthy.
    Yuugi: You don't care if they're counting on your donations to live?
    Suika: [rubbing her middle finger and thumb together] You know what this is? The world's smallest violin playing just for the shrine maidens.
    Byakuren: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These shrine maidens bust their ass. This is a hard job.
    Suika: So is working at an eel stand, but you don't see anyone donate to them, do ya? Why not?, they're serving you food. But no, society says don't donate to these guys over here, but donate to these guys over here. That's stupid!
    Byakuren: Being a shrine maiden is the number one occupation for female non-youkai in this country. It's the one job basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of their donations.
    Suika: Screw all that.
    Patchouli: Wow.
    Suika: I mean I'm very sorry the gods tax their donations, that's messed up. That ain't my fault. It would appear to me that shrine maidens are one of the many groups the gods screw over on a regular basis. If you show me a piece of paper that says the gods shouldn't do that, I'll sign it, put it to a vote, I'll vote for it, but what I won't do is play ball. And this non-youkai crap you're givin' me, I got two words for that: learn to danmaku, 'cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent you're in for a big surprise.
    Meiling: She's convinced me. Gimme my donation back!

[Lt Colonel Summers]

Telling someone to Google the origins of a quote/scene is basically the same thing as assuming everyone knows about it. So please, if you're taking part in this topic, put the name of the work in your post!

Here's my third one...

Yukari: How dare you! I am the Youkai Of Boundaries, Yu...
Reimu: Who gives a damn about you?! Your new name is Gap Hag!
Gap Hag: G...G...Gap Hag?
Disgaea: Hour Of Darkness

[Tengukami]

Telling someone to Google the origins of a quote/scene is basically the same thing as assuming everyone knows about it. So please, if you're taking part in this topic, put the name of the work in your post!

But I didn't tell anyone to Google it. In fact, I implored the opposite. I don't understand why we can't just let people guess or Google - seems more fun that way to me. But since this seems to be a big deal to you, here - for those who don't want to guess and are too lazy to spend 5 seconds on Google, the scene I posted is a parody of

Spoiler:

the "tipping" scene from the movie Reservoir Dogs.

We now return to Lt's thread of Touhou-ized video game quotes.

[Leon゠Helsing]

To follow up on my earlier FFVI quote...
Marisa: "I prefer the term "treasure hunting"!"

[Spotty Len]

Reimu: we've got to have, donations

One of the antagonist from Tom & Jerry the Movie

I got this.

[TresserT]

After meeting other weak youkai involved in the DDC rebellion, Sekibanki is overcome with a sense of belonging. She faces the heroine with newly discovered hope.

"I feel so light. This is the first time I've ever felt this happy during battle. I'm not afraid of anything anymore. Because...I'm not alone anymore!"

Spoiler:

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

[Your Everyday NEET]

I got this.

Wow, I ROFL. Can you do it with Reimu instead?

In A.D 2XXX, Gensokyo, the land of paradise where humans and youkai exist together peacefully, until now.
War was beginning.

Hakurei Shrine
Reimu and co were enjoying were enjoying tea together when suddenly a Death Star arrived through gap.
Reimu: What happen?
Nitori: Somebody set us up the bomb
Marisa: It got speaker.
Reimu: What!
CHEN: How are you ladies!!
Reimu: It's you!!
CHEN: All your base are belong to us.
CHEN: You are on the way to destruction.
Reimu: What you say!!
CHEN: You have no chance of survive make your time.
CHEN: Ha ha ha ha ...
Marisa: Reimu?
Reimu: Take off every 'ZIG'!!
Marisa: What is a 'ZIG'?
Reimu: You know what you doing
Marisa: No! I don't know what I doing.
Reimu: Move 'ZIG'
Nitori: Roger that!
Marisa: Wait, what's a 'ZIG' anyway?
Reimu: For Gensokyo.
Marisa: Yeah whatever.

Based from Zero Wing (1998)
CHEN=CATS (CATS, geddit?)
Death Star is from Star Wars

[Koneko]

...
..
.
"Welcome to Earth !"

-Any playable character, after finishing Touhou 12: Undefined Fantastic Object's Extra-

(Althought 8 also fit, but I dont know exactly where to put it)

[Lt Colonel Summers]

Did you even read the title properly? It says replace a fictional character with a 2hu.
You just went ahead and made up your own lines for a real Touhou game, which is not what this thread is made for...

[haoreos2]

An indeterminate time in future, in a mystic wonderland not actually all that far away...

"Don't fret, the odds of safely navigating through an asteroid field are actually very much in our favour, considering the distance between the debris."
"Is that so~?"

"It's over, Youmu~! I have the high ground!"
"Stop saying that every time you float above me! It's getting old!"
"How rude. It's still very young."

"You've never heard of the Thousand-Scoop Tengu? …She 1CC'd the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs."
"Isn't that a measure of distance, not time?"
"What can I say? Having dirt on a Shinigami has its uses..."

"Power... UNLIMITED POWER!"
"Actually, even if your fusion converted the entirety of the source matter into energy, the output is very much quantifiable. The math isn't even very complex. Besides, even if you're just talking about practically unlimited power, given your size, the density required would be so immense that the gravity trying to compress that leg of yours would overwhelm the force of the energy being expelled from it, even if you had it running constantly. Now, what happens next depends on-"
"Hang on, why aren't you dead yet?"
"At a guess, it would be because you're trying to use the power of the sun to fuel 'dark side' powers, birdbrain."

"When nine hundred years old you reach, look as good you will not!"
"Do fairies really even have an age? Also, please stick to Japanese, I don't think you have the hang of English sentence structure down yet."

"I find your lack of faith disturbing. Honestly, no wonder your shrine is such a wretched hive of sloth and apathy."

"Use your bombs, Reimu!"
"I can't, it's a challenge run!"

"Unzan, did you know my parents?"
"Of course, Ichirin. I... am your father."
"Say whaaaaat"



It's Star Wars by the way.
"Is that so~?"

[Usamiko]

Reisen: From where you're kneeling it must seem like an 18-carrot run of bad luck. Truth is...the game was rigged from the start.

*Proceeds to shoot Tewi in the head*

(Fallout: New Vegas)

Kyouko: And what's wrong with her, huh?

Futo: Watch your tongue. You're speaking to Toyosatomimi no Miko, the true Crown Prince.

(Elder Scrolls: Skyrim)

Satori: Shut up.

Rin: I didn't say anything.

Satori: You were thinking. It's annoying.

(BBC's Sherlock)

[123EXDEEDEE]

Sunnymilk: Yes?
Lunarchild: What?
StarSapphire: Hello?
-Warcraft 3 Goblin Sapper/Techies' quote  (note: Powerp*** girls potent)

White Marisa: 'THOU SHALT NOT PASSsssssssssssssssssssssssss!!'
Suwako: 'Precioousssssssss....'
-Lord of the Ring.

Marisa: Divine...... Buster!
-Magical Lyrical Nanoha

Iku: 'I will wield the drill that pierce through the heavens!' -Gurenn Lagan

Komachi: 'Take this. If you truly wish revenge, just untie the scarlet thread from his neck. Pulling the thread binds you into a covenant with me. I will ferry the soul of your tormentor straight into the depths of Hell....however, once vengeance is served, you will have to deliver your end of the bargain. There always has to be a price. When you die, your soul will also belong to Hell. You will never know the joys of Heaven; you will be left to wander through a world made of pain and agony for all of eternity.'
-Jigoku Shoujo

Youmu: 'No matter what form you take Aku, you will never defeat the sides of righteousness!' -Samurai Jack

and finally, Meiling: Kamehame......

non-fic extra:
Aya: 'This is Reporter Aya and you're watching 9News.'

Yukari: *cast boundary-type spellcards* ,
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone
You shine it when I'm alone
And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone
-Ellie Goldie, Music: Lights.

[Your Everyday NEET]

Hakurei Shrine
Reimu: Marisa, we need to talk, have you been to Scarlet Mansion Devil lately?
Marisa: Nope
Reimu: You're lying! I've seen you going there lately. So, what are you doing there anyway?
Marisa: It's a Magician talk
Reimu: I'm your future wife, you never talk to me anymore Marisa! Why Marisa why? You're tearing me APART Marisa!
Marisa: Geez Reimu, why are you always act so overdramatic? Besides, I only went there to borrow some books. This IS why I still prefer dating Alice ze!

Reimu: Johnny from The Room