The Outsider Who Loved Gensokyo - A RPG/Visual Novel Project

~Hakurei Shrine~ > Rika and Nitori's Garage Experiments

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Sahgren:

--- Quote from: Jeremie on March 02, 2014, 01:11:34 AM ---I'm also not to sure what you meant with:

"The and makes the whole sentence awkwardly long. You can safely break it up into two sentences."

--- End quote ---

Honestly, that one is one I'm less certain about the more I think about it. When I initially read it, I felt that the sentences joined together by the "and" on the second line would've worked better if you slightly changed the wording of the second part and made them two separate sentences. Just use your own judgement.

I don't know if RPG Maker is to blame for this, but try to leave the first letter of a word of a text block un-capitalized if it's continuing a sentence from a previous block. It makes it clearer that the sentence from before is continuing.

Jeremie:
Nope, I admit that it's my fault. I agree though, I should fix that as well. I'll take care of that a bit later or at least once in a while as I work on the current project so I can keep myself as motivated as possible although motivation has rarely been an issue.

Sahgren:
Some more suggestions/proofreading:

Move the "Level Up!" message from the character status bar to a message. Level ups are something to be happy about, I doubt many people would mind hitting the confirmation button an extra time over that sort of news.

Grammar Nazism Proofreading:
Place a comma before someone's name when you're ending a sentence by referring to them by name.. "Thank you, [main character]" for example.
Use a comma before a "but" when using it to join two independent ideas. In general, place a comma before a conjunction (and, or, but) if you can feasibly replace the conjunction with a period and still have the two sentences make sense. Random Google on the subject got me this for examples.

"It's" is a contraction of of "it is". "Its" is the possessive. English is weird like that.
"like" instead of "likes"
"exploring" instead of "explorating" Edit: Just found out that explorating is actually a word. You can leave it if you want. It is considered obsolete though, so keep that in mind.
Missing a "be" at the start of the line.
"that" instead of "this" at the end of the second line.
"is" instead of "were". Aya's info is still good after all.

Jeremie:
Some of the mechanics in the game are stuff I can't really control but I'll try to fix it. As for the erratic difficulty you mentioned, the part in the sunflower field was rather intentional but I guess it would make more sense if I modified the enemies to be more on par with the previous ones.

I've been having a bit of a concern about this because the game is meant to be a bit non-linear although it has event flags that gives access to certain areas. However, many areas in the game are optional and technically aren't necessary to complete such as the forest of magic, the mineral cave, the sunflower field or all the region that leads to Eientei.

alucard13mmfmj:
Is it ok if i did a video on this? ;p and is the demo link in the OP the most updated?

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