the family isn't home

[Menorah Jams, Pham]

Man, I'd jump into the fray with all the "you can do it" and post an inspirational quote but all I can think of is Groucho Marx. 

"The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.  If you can fake that, you've got it made." 

[Unesco]

slim down to 27" and we can talk.
plus... you ARE SHORTER than me?! (D'awww)

Oh well, we are almost the same wideness.
I am 5'11" probably around 200

Hey! I'm a 32 waist and no one complains!

But yeah...

at that height slimming down would be advantageous for you.

@TSO: Ah, shaved legs? Not even I'm that brave.

Jan-san!?

Hair only belongs on my head.  Anywhere else and it is very unwelcome and gross. XP

Ah, a victim of society's demands of women. Well, if it makes you feel any better that's a rather girly line of thought

I dunno, he's my brother and all and I could never hate him.  And I do think he is turning a corner and at least getting rid of his worst traits and habits.  He's definitely trying to be responsible now and maintain a job at least, and he did manage to pay off his entire DUI fine and reinstatement fee all on his own.

Are you TRYING for Yamato Nadeshiko points ?

Well...I wish you the best of luck on your journey...it's probably really hard :S.

[helvetica]

1.  I would never ever do drugs.  I don't even drink outside of social events and even then it's very little.
2.  I would never physically harm myself or others.  I am a huge wimp when it comes to pain and I tend to hide in a corner and cry before I'd ever strike someone.

That being said it's hard feeling good about yourself when your body represents everything you loathe and your personal feelings make you a pariah in your own family.  I've improved somewhat though.  Before I would just bottle all of this up and just put on a mask and play whatever role was expected of me.

Now I have my own ideas of who and what I want to be and want the world to see.  It's just getting the self-confidence to do it despite everyone against me...

My parents do not know I want to be a girl but have hints from catching me crossing when I was little.  My dad thinks the devil is trying to tempt me and my mom tries to hide it and deny it like I am some horrible dark family secret.  And my eldest brother tries to blackmail me by threatening to tell everyone he caught me wearing a tutu when I was 8.  I came out to my sister when she was 7 but she doesn't remember or want to remember.  And the youngest two do not have a single clue.  There's noone in my family or in real life I have the courage to confide in.

So yeah you can see why I may have a few self-confidence issues.

[helvetica]

slim down to 27" and we can talk.
plus... you ARE SHORTER than me?! (D'awww)

Oh well, we are almost the same wideness.
I am 5'11" probably around 200

Hey! I'm a 32 waist and no one complains!

But yeah...

at that height slimming down would be advantageous for you.

I have a gut and that's the biggest thing I hate :l  If I got rid of that I'd be super thin probably.

Hair only belongs on my head.  Anywhere else and it is very unwelcome and gross. XP

Ah, a victim of society's demands of women. Well, if it makes you feel any better that's a rather girly line of thought

Society doesn't have to tell me that, I hate it instinctively :V

I dunno, he's my brother and all and I could never hate him.  And I do think he is turning a corner and at least getting rid of his worst traits and habits.  He's definitely trying to be responsible now and maintain a job at least, and he did manage to pay off his entire DUI fine and reinstatement fee all on his own.

Are you TRYING for Yamato Nadeshiko points ?

I had no idea what you were talking about until I could get off my phone and on my PC, but mayyyyybe.

"Their voices will often be gentle, calm, and warm as that melted butter you get to dip your shellfish in at Red Lobster. "  I wish my voice was that good :<

Well...I wish you the best of luck on your journey...it's probably really hard :S.

I'd say something witty but all I got is a thank you :V

[Greyn]

I was gonna say something about all this but I'm very short on time.  I'll have to come back to this later today.

[Tengukami]

This has been a really eye-opening thread. Seriously, best of luck to you, TSO. Hang in there.

[Dragoshi]

Yeah... I mean, I knew things were pretty bad for you through IRC and whatnot, but... man. That really sucks. Best of you luck to ya, for what it's worth.

I kinda wish I could be less useless about this, but. :/

[Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch]

Off Topic- I must not sleep again. 6 pages in 12 hours?!?!?!?!? Oi vey...


On Topic- Have you considered drawing a mustache on your brother as well as a monocle

[helvetica]

:V thanks.

I just get down sometimes :l  I try not to show it or affect me.  I'm really not into pity or seeking it ._____.

[Jana]

Ecchi Sketch has given me a wonderful idea... Gift a monocle to your brother next chance you get! Force him to unleash his inner gentleman!

Seriously though, it's not worth it to worry so much about appearances. It could be that my parents' obsession about our appearances to the outside world (not just physical, of course) has left me caring little for the way normal people see me... But I feel much better about myself for it.

Some might say I have no shame, but I say I'm comfortable with who I am. You should be too.

@TSO: Ah, shaved legs? Not even I'm that brave.

Jan-san!?

Yes? UK, I presume?

[Apotheosis]

n/m

[UncertainJakutten]

Yes? UK, I presume?

Yesh. But I meant about wanting to shave legs .

[Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch]

Unesco: the antithesis of Pesco.

[Jana]

Yes? UK, I presume?

Yesh. But I meant about wanting to shave legs .

Oh. I'm kinda covered in body hair, and it's rather inconvenient. I can't even wear long socks because running makes them pull on my leg hairs rather painfully... So it's more because I dislike the inconvenience of it all, rather than appearances (although they certainly aren't pretty).

[-Mao-]

My parents do not know I want to be a girl but have hints from catching me crossing when I was little.  My dad thinks the devil is trying to tempt me and my mom tries to hide it and deny it like I am some horrible dark family secret.  And my eldest brother tries to blackmail me by threatening to tell everyone he caught me wearing a tutu when I was 8.  I came out to my sister when she was 7 but she doesn't remember or want to remember.  And the youngest two do not have a single clue.  There's noone in my family or in real life I have the courage to confide in.

everyone has their problems, in your case, the issue is probably your family.
and your gut.

Keep it or lose it, is up to you. Once you lose it, move out, move out and do something to change your life.
Disregarding some of your posts above about that, the idea is really not to whine.

In case you wonder, the best remedy to this situation is to really go queer, then, it won't be so loathesome because you would have walked out and tell everyone about it. I am sure the hate, as you may call hating yourself, comes from people hating you about being who you are. The solution is to stop hating yourself over what people hate about you.

[Caber Knight Etch-A-Sketch]

My parents do not know I want to be a girl but have hints from catching me crossing when I was little.  My dad thinks the devil is trying to tempt me and my mom tries to hide it and deny it like I am some horrible dark family secret.  And my eldest brother tries to blackmail me by threatening to tell everyone he caught me wearing a tutu when I was 8.  I came out to my sister when she was 7 but she doesn't remember or want to remember.  And the youngest two do not have a single clue.  There's noone in my family or in real life I have the courage to confide in.

Then there's Cirno's Perfect Math Class...

[helvetica]

My parents do not know I want to be a girl but have hints from catching me crossing when I was little.  My dad thinks the devil is trying to tempt me and my mom tries to hide it and deny it like I am some horrible dark family secret.  And my eldest brother tries to blackmail me by threatening to tell everyone he caught me wearing a tutu when I was 8.  I came out to my sister when she was 7 but she doesn't remember or want to remember.  And the youngest two do not have a single clue.  There's noone in my family or in real life I have the courage to confide in.

Then there's Cirno's Perfect Math Class...

It's the internet, I don't care :V  At least some way it would get out so instead of trying to pretend I'll outright admit to it and go so what.

Real life is different and luckily my parents aren't smart enough to search for my alter-ego =P

[Tengukami]

One point of interest: changing your sex does not change your sexual orientation. If you're attracted to the same sex as yourself as a boy, you will likely become attracted to girls as a girl yourself. But you've probably run into this tidbit while doing research about sex changes.

[Apotheosis]

you should probably think about moving out and finding your own place

seriously, the way you describe your family it sounds like they're holding you back and sucking you down

[-Mao-]

work things out by actually saying 'Jesus made me do it'
voila.

[Fetch()tirade]

Time for a little Q&A.

Q: So, the family's not home (most of it, at least) and you're looking for something to do by asking us what to do?
A: You've already found something to do, albeit temporarily. Find something that interests you, even if someone else objects. What can they do? If they punish you for doing something that they don't like, then that means they are more concerned with who they want you to be than who you really are, and they should be ignored. Freedom comes with the price of security, and security comes with the price of freedom.

Q: You say you have issues with the with your family, especially with (1) your old-fashioned parents and (2) your most-likely homosexual drug-dealing little brother?
A: (1) Draw the line somewhere soon. It doesn't matter where exactly, that's for you to choose, but there is a limit to how much your parents expect you to do simply because you are their child. (2) Get him to own up to everything he is and will be. You say that he is trying his best to become a responsible person, and that is good. However, if he cannot be honest with himself and others, there will be major problems in the future. Your role as older sister is to support and guide him, even against his will. Do not force his hand, and let him decide what it is he wants to do, but NEVER hate or disown him. Accept him and forgive him, if necessary.

Q: In addition to your family problems, you have issues with yourself and the way you look?
A: Do something about yourself, or get used to your life. If you want to change any part of you, you must ask questions and answer them in kind. Who are you now, and who do you want to be? What is it that you want? What do you think you will gain or lose by doing this? These must be answered truthfully because there is no point in lying to yourself. After you have done so, decide. Will you go through with it? Will you change and risk losing a part of who you are, or will you remain the same and risk regretting your decision?

Make your time.

[helvetica]

One point of interest: changing your sex does not change your sexual orientation. If you're attracted to the same sex as yourself as a boy, you will likely become attracted to girls as a girl yourself. But you've probably run into this tidbit while doing research about sex changes.

Well aware there is little correlation between self gender and orientation :V  Being basically and completely disinterested in sexual contact (romantic relationships is more of a self-confidence issue :l), I have no clue what I'd like or really particularly care :T

you should probably think about moving out and finding your own place

seriously, the way you describe your family it sounds like they're holding you back and sucking you down

I am not completely without blame here.  I have a crappy track record with jobs and I'm a college dropout :l  I won't blame my family for all of my issues as that's just stupid and childish.  And yes I am well aware it won't get better until I do move out hence why I don't whine about it 24/7 anymore and keep it to myself.

work things out by actually saying 'Jesus made me do it'
voila.

Yeah no, dat don't wok hear.

Time for a little Q&A.

Q: So, the family's not home (most of it, at least) and you're looking for something to do by asking us what to do?
A: You've already found something to do, albeit temporarily. Find something that interests you, even if someone else objects. What can they do? If they punish you for doing something that they don't like, then that means they are more concerned with who they want you to be than who you really are, and they should be ignored. Freedom comes with the price of security, and security comes with the price of freedom.

Was bored of staring at IRC and playing DoW2 and I already did a fair bit of job hunting so I was just asking jokingly what to do.  It kind of drifted into an emo thread as time wore on :l

Q: You say you have issues with the with your family, especially with (1) your old-fashioned parents and (2) your most-likely homosexual drug-dealing little brother?
A: (1) Draw the line somewhere soon. It doesn't matter where exactly, that's for you to choose, but there is a limit to how much your parents expect you to do simply because you are their child. (2) Get him to own up to everything he is and will be. You say that he is trying his best to become a responsible person, and that is good. However, if he cannot be honest with himself and others, there will be major problems in the future. Your role as older sister is to support and guide him, even against his will. Do not force his hand, and let him decide what it is he wants to do, but NEVER hate or disown him. Accept him and forgive him, if necessary.

I got him to own up to most of it after a particularly bad drinking binge of his.  There are even more secrets he has confided in me or does not know I am aware of, and I do not hang it over him or use it as a control.  I have never hated him.  I hate what he does and some of the things he gets away with, and I am severely disappointed with his decisions.  But at the same time I will gladly praise him for growing up in some ways and maturing, and while he has a long way to go I will support it however I can :|

I mock and laugh at his attitudes and his behaviors, like any sibling would.  I would never sell him out or disown him though.

Q: In addition to your family problems, you have issues with yourself and the way you look?
A: Do something about yourself, or get used to your life. If you want to change any part of you, you must ask questions and answer them in kind. Who are you now, and who do you want to be? What is it that you want? What do you think you will gain or lose by doing this? These must be answered truthfully because there is no point in lying to yourself. After you have done so, decide. Will you go through with it? Will you change and risk losing a part of who you are, or will you remain the same and risk regretting your decision?

I've already had this breakdown a couple years ago.  Basically since I was 4 I realized my desires were well against the considered "norms" of what was expected of me.  Throughout most of my life I've basically conformed to everyone else's ideas of what I should be, being the good kid always listening to mommy and daddy.

Then one day, I just couldn't do it.  It got to a point where what they wanted was diametrically opposed to what I wanted.  I wanted to goto college and get my music degree, but I was forced to go into engineering, and I just stopped caring.  And I decided to do what *I* wanted to do rather than what *they* wanted of me.  Would it have been far easier to have just submitted?  Probably.  Would I have been happier?  Hell no.  And for once in my life I chose happiness over people pleasing.  The only other time I ever had that courage was when I told my dad off and quit football and did marching band my junior year in highschool.

Basically I know what I want, it's getting there that has me going bleh.  I've more or less made peace with who I am and what I want to be.  It's just getting the courage to make that stance to the world.

Make your time.

We get signal

[Hello Purvis]

Ah, engineering, where people with reprehensible ideologies get their degrees.

Did it not interest you as a subject?

[Zengar Zombolt]

Ah, engineering, where people with reprehensible ideologies get their degrees.

Sup'.

[Cadmas]

Appears I have Some things in common with TSO.
Expect I never did anything of constructive value or the betterment of society.
I became a WoW private Server forum mod. lol.

[helvetica]

Purvis: no it does.  I am extremely fascinated by science.  I just couldn't stand how I was basically told that I had to go for an engineering degree or not get my student loans cosigned.

That and I was extremely depressed not knowing anyone at the biggest school in the US :l

[helvetica]

I am bored again and my brother is gone nevermind he is asleep on the couch.  Also I have not eaten all day.  Now what.

[Dragoshi]

Get something to eat, obviously. Raid the fridge/freezer/cupboard/whatever and just pick what's good. :x

[helvetica]

Damnit my brother is still home.  He's asleep on the couch.

[Cadmas]

Fart in his face.