| ~Beyond the Border~ > Daiyousei's Cold Storage |
| That's your Touhouroscope for today |
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| Third Eye Lem:
Got room for one more? 1- Yuyuko 2- Satori 3- Yukari 4- Byakuren 5- Reisen 6- Marisa 7- Reimu 8- Sanae 9- Cirno (yes I know someone did this before, shut up) 10 - Nitori |
| Reddyne:
--- Quote from: Endless Hunger on October 21, 2013, 02:14:56 PM ---1. Kaguya 2. Eirin 3. Keine 4. Byakuren 5. Benben 6. Reimu 7. Reisen 8. Kokoro 9. Sekibanki 10. Wriggle I'm so not ready for this but bring it. --- End quote --- Future: You are merrily walking along and enjoying a sandwich when you stumble into a ditch containing a portal to the past. Unfortunately, time travel teleportation isn't necessarily as nice and clean as it is in some works of fiction, and you emerge from the warp with a bald spot and HALF YOUR SANDWICH GONE. You are also 400 feet in the air and won't be wanting the sandwich soon anyhow. In the middle of the night, you hurtle towards the ground screaming at the top of your lungs as the moonlight highlights your descent. Luckily, a deciduous tree is beneath you and you slip through dozens of branches that break your fall. The giant mound of mammoth poo at the base of the tree also helps. Your screaming draws the attention of the locals in your new time period. A band of homo erecti trundle over to where you emerge from the mound of dung. In their primitive grunts, they dub you the god of the moon and worship you. Though communication is troublesome at best, you realize your unique opportunity pursue any and all efforts to educate these primitive humans. You attempt to teach them about what the future holds in regards to science, medicine, and art, though they only seem to care about eating berries. After a long struggle, they start to pick up what you attempt to show them. As you show them how to bandage a wound, they attempt to choke themselves with the bandages. As you attempt to show them theater, they attempt to hit their heads with rocks to produce the desired percussion. As you demonstrate how to light brush to create fire, they light themselves on fire. Eventually, they pick up a number of skills that they never would have managed otherwise. You tearfully regret that a third wave ska band just isn't possible considering that brass won't be invented for quite some time. This does have the upside of not having to teach them from blowing raspberries into the wrong end of the trombones and drinking from the spit valves. While the adults benefit greatly from what you teach them, the kids seem to get the short end of the stick. Despite your efforts, the generation of homo erectus you teach all these skills to is spiteful of the next generation. They are sweepingly regarded as lazy, unmotivated, and entitled jerks despite plenty evidence to the opposite and it simply boils down to the ignorance of the older generation. Before long, the next generation has fewer employment and education opportunities, so nearly all of the stuff you taught them goes to waste. At least you tried and in the end it was someone else's fault. Death: You are technically -478,979 years old at death. Last Words: "Ugh ah ee ooh ooh dah." You were trying to communicate with a second makeshift tribe of homo erectus. You were attempting to provide food as a peace offering. They interpreted it as "I find your backs to be severely lacking in hair and your dung-flinging skills are subpar." Number: 6 Color: Dye will not be invented for millenia. Hope you enjoy green and brown! --- Quote from: KuroArashi on October 21, 2013, 06:45:44 PM ---1. Koishi Komeiji 2. Nitori Kawashiro 3. Suwako Moriya 4. Nazrin 5. Yuuka Kazami 6. Satori Komeiji 7. Toyosatomimi no Miko 8. Fujiwara no Mokou 9. Suika Ibuki 10. Shinmyoumaru Sukuna Let's see what the future will bring. --- End quote --- Future: You're the invisible man. *DUN* A freak lab accident has rendered you completely transparent. Not a soul alive can see you. Though you are initially taken aback by the experience, you clearly see the advantage and make use of your new abilities. You start out by stealing cookies and giving people atomic wedgies simply in order to watch them blame the only other person around. This gets a bit interesting when they pay a visit to Gran in the nursing home. You can even moon people without repercussions. The initial success you experience wind up further encouraging you to steal everything that isn't nailed down and prank everyone in town until things almost reach a point of municipal civil war. Yet in the end, everything is just a little unfulfilling. Over time, you grow tired of being invisible. It's kinda tough being someone with no presence whatsoever and who is so easy to ignore. Soon, you realize just how lonely you've become, and you rush to find ways to let others know that you're there. First, you try playing music, but this makes conversation difficult and you occasionally offend tall individuals when you walk by with your favorite tune playing. Next, you try painting yourself each day only to find that you are allergic to it, especially in and around your eyes. Lastly, you go a week without bathing and roll around in whatever roadkill you can find, only to discover that being a walking source of stench that could knock a buzzard off a poopmobile from 100 paces seems to make everyone else disappear. Finally, you are ready to give up, and after spending a full year invisible and several months trying to make yourself visible again, you make a final concession: "Well, it looks like I'll have to start wearing clothes again just to be seen." You are quickly arrested and charged for several hundred accounts of indecent exposure. Death: Things go pretty well from then on out. However, you need to go for brain surgery when you're 77 which proves to be a bit too difficult for the surgeon. Probably because you're INVISIBLE. Last Words: "FLASH! AHHH~AHHHHHH!" Announcing your nakedity to an elderly woman whose house you've been creeping around is not a good idea when she's armed. She plugs you in the head with her late husband's shotgun. Number: 13 Color: The same color as the emperor's new clothes. |
| Reddyne:
--- Quote from: Validon98 on October 22, 2013, 01:23:17 AM ---And my Touhousorter results arrrrrrre... 1- Nue Houjuu 2- Koishi Komeiji 3- Byakuren Hijiri 4- Kogasa Tatara 5- Hata no Kokoro 6- Seija Kijin 7- Kasen Ibaraki 8- Kana Anaberal 9- Shinki 10- Utsuho Reiuji (Okuu) Yup. ^^; --- End quote --- Future: Ah, summertime. A time of year when when people get away from all their troubles by vacationing at the beach. You take your fiancee to the lovely coastal town of Innsmouth, Massachusetts. Though the town smells a bit fishy and the innkeeper at the Gilman House is a bit on the inhospitable side, you manage to relax a bit. You and your fiancee head down to the beach for a bit of swimming. Suddenly, Cthulhu himself rises from R'lyeh and storms the coastline! Fishing vessels are tossed aside like toy boats and an army of Deep Ones charges the mainland from the depths of the ocean! People run screaming for safety, but there is none to be found! Buildings are toppled and cars crushed behind the infinite maddening might of Cthulhu and his army of eternal Deep Ones! Before long, a giant swath of the east coast is wreathed in flames! Cthulhu lets out a piercing cry that shatters the sanity of every poor soul within a hundred miles! Well! That turned out to be quite a tourist trap. You pack up your things from the rubble of the hotel and decide to move on. Ah, summertime. A time of year when people get away from all their troubles in the lovely countryside. You open the door to your room and settle in at a bed and breakfast in the quaint little town of Dunwich, Massachusetts. Rolling, breezy hills dot the landscape, and you and your fiancee head out for a stroll. Your fiancee accidentally brushes against a 9 foot tall man as you leave the building, leaving a sickly yellow-green ichor across her shoulder. "Ew!" she cries out of genuine and merited disgust. The masquerade undone, the 9 foot tall man lets out a frightening bellow to summon his brother! The Wheately house on the edge of town explodes in a violent rain of splinters and glass! The skies darken, and a maddening voice cackles amongst a gathering tempest! Thunderous footsteps resonate across the entire town as an invisible beast roars through house after house, slaying any seeking what little protection that remains in this madness! Suddenly, the sickeningly pallid and sinister looking Wheately patriarch rises from the ruins! As the massive beast runs rampant through the poor hamlet, none can stop him as he begins to chant the darkest, most vile summoning ritual for Yog-Sothoth! With his infinite might, the earth will be rendered an eternal wasteland! Well! So much for rural hospitality. You pack up your car and head elsewhere. Ah, summertime. A time of year when people like to curl up with a good book in the shade. You return from the Arkham library with your fiancee and a copy of Abdul Alhazred's latest release tucked under your arm. You lay back in a hammock on your porch and crack open the book for a good long read in the summer's gentle heat. Suddenly, you are overcome by a feeling that your entire body and mind are no longer your own! You are sucked through time and space and forced into the body of an alien race! It turns out they've been hijacking human bodies for millenia! They scurry about shouting portents of earth's demise! Their preparations are nearly complete and the knowledge they've assembled will be used for an exodus that will abandon the entire human race to be consumed by a titanic swarm of massive sentient insects! This ancient alien race has condemned humanity to a most grisly fate! Well! That's inconvenient. The alien returns you to your original body, which is behind the wheel of a vehicle that has plowed into a tree. You call up your insurance agency to file a claim that you were possessed by an alien race capable of passing through time and space in order to swap bodies with a host. "InsuraCorp. Industries. My name is Nyarlathotep. Let me tell you how I'm going to direct your everything" the teller answers. You try working through your claim, but you hang up unsatisfied. You need to go on a dream-quest just to get to their offices, which sounds like quite a hassle. Death: At "you may now kiss the bride," you attempt to give your new wife a sweet kiss, only to discover that she is actually a shoggoth. Shoggoths, being extraordinarily aggressive sentient masses of liquid tissue biomass 15 feet in diameter, aren't exactly into cutesy stuff. Considering that her family is revealed to be Elder Things at the same moment, the wedding doesn't exactly go well after that. You perish at 43. Last Words: Whatever they will be, they will be stated in an exorbitantly long monologue reflecting your lifetime of bizarre experiences using words that will make most thesauruses blush. Also, the words will be spoken with a British accent even if you don't have one. Number: I'm sure the Elder Things could actually say this number, but human tongues cannot, and humanity will never understand its incredible significance. Color: The Colour Out of Space --- Quote from: Nobu on October 22, 2013, 02:21:15 AM ---Wow, these are amazing. 1. Suwako Moriya 2. Nazrin 3. Nitori Kawashiro 4. Koishi Komeiji 5. Flandre Scarlet 6. Reimu Hakurei 7. Yumemi Okazaki 8. Cirno 9. Sukuna Shinmyoumaru 10. Satori Komeiji --- End quote --- Future: You travel to Africa to go tubing down part of the Nile river. Unfortunately, you get a child's size inner tube and get your butt stuck in it. However, you're not exactly thrilled to get back to a thankless job that pays under the table in animal crackers, so you decide to wait it out and allow yourself to float along at your leisure. Though you lack foreknowledge about what lies ahead, you can only guess as to how leisurely a trip it will be. Content with being alone, your friends bid you a fond farewell to you once finished with their journey and wish you the best of luck on your own, leaving you in the middle of nowhere with soggy popcorn and some warm Powerades. The popcorn doesn't exactly do the trick for very long and you decide to go fishing. Having exhausted your only source of bait, you wiggle your toes in an attempt to attract hapless fishies for some fresh sushi. While you manage to attract some attention, it happens to be in the form of a crocodile. Your crod rasslin' skills may be a bit rusty, but you wind up with a new croc-themed bathing suit in addition to something to eat on your trip. Relieved at the result of your encounter, you are filled with a renewed self-confidence that you can handle whatever the entire length of the Nile can throw at you. Unfortunately, you screwed up your reservations and are on the Zambezi river. You weren't ready for Victoria Falls, and it proves to be a most interesting experience. Death: You survive the plummet and are still content with your life fused to a piece of inflatable Hello Kitty merchandise. You drift out to the Indian Ocean and remain there for years, catching fish at your leisure. However, decades on the seas take their toll, and you eventually fall ill. You paddle to Madagascar for help only to find they've shut down their only port out of fear that you're carrying a new form of plague. You die at 62. Last Words: "Beats the pants off sitting at a desk for 40 years of work!" Not the best you could do, but true nonetheless. Number: The square root of ham. Color: Gamboge |
| Validon98:
I love how I'm just going to be like: "...Well THAT happened. Oh well, let's move on, nothing to see here." I totally would not be running around panicking and flailing. No, not at all. :V |
| draganuv15:
Those bastards wouldn't have known theatre if it had set them on fire. I'm glad I died so young. |
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