~Hakurei Shrine~ > Patchouli's Scarlet Library
Weekly Writing Challenge Thread 2 - The Morning After (Deadline December 31st)
Raikaria:
--- Quote from: Esifex on August 28, 2012, 02:51:42 AM ---Awwww, poor Kogasa ;-;
danbo warning, be wary of nsfw ads
Although I like how you used her friendship with Kyouko, that was the cutest part.
--- End quote ---
I have never seen that before because I do not frequent Danbooru unless I'm specifically looking for a specific art to use for something because NSFW.
Still, yeah, it's painful to think of Kogasa sad. You know, because she's such a cheerful moe-blob and so innocent in her aim, but always fails but keeps tying anyway.
Phlegeth:
"Listen up! The world is a wicked place full of sin! And this is no more true than in our very own Gensokyo! Crime is running rampant in the streets! Purses are being snatched! Houses are being burned for the insurance money! Children are reading comic books off the stands without purchasing them! This is truly a dark age!? This sermon was coming from an older woman with purple hair that gradually turned to brown. Her name was Byakuren looked up from the front of the church to an almost empty room. There was an overly enthusiastic clapping coming from this weird pink cloud. His name was Unzan and he was in the front pew. Byakuren glared at the ceiling and it started to crack.
"WAAAAAHHH!" there was a crash as the ceiling caved in and three figures were sitting in the rubble.
"What the crap is wrong with you Byakuren!" One of the figures stood up dusting herself off. She was a tall girl with a lotus flower in her hair. Not that she had to draw attention to her hair as it was bright orange with black stripes. Her name was Shou.
"The climax was a little earlier than I expected, you can go now," The other girl was in a bed with a sheet pulled up around her. Her hair was blue, but otherwise normal. Her name was Ichirin. She patted this other guy on the ass as she shooed him out of the bed.
"Is that our Mailman? I've been waiting on this month's Playb--Ahem! I mean Scientific Magazine!" Byakuren said with a stern face.
"Whatever you say," Shou said and grabbed a candy bar from the rubble and took a seat in one of the pews.
"This is the goddamned house of the Lord and that kind of language will not be tolerated. Now tell me when the mailman came!" Byakuren said, bending over and glaring at Ichirin.
"You know, about two thirty like every day and then again about five minutes ago," she stood up.
"Put some goddamn clothes on! Not everyone wants to see that!" She picked up Unzan and threw him at her.
"I don't think so!" Ichirin pounded Unzan really hard on the head throwing him to the floor.
"Get a good look?" Shou said to Byakuren and tossed a candy wrapper in a growing pile beside her.
"Shut up Shou! Now listen up! The world is a wicked--"
"Skip that part," Ichirin said throwing on a hoodie.
"Yea we don't give a crap," Shou said with a large bowl of ice cream in her lap.
Byakuren was about to say something, but Unzan was struck by lightning and let out a pitiful wheeze and coughed up a piece of paper.
"Well, well, it looks like you two have mission!" Byakuren smirked and grabbed the piece of paper. "Winter is coming."
"Ooh, was that the name of our mailman?" Ichirin asked.
"Goddamnit this is one of those internet meh mehs!" She looked around. "I've been on the internet you know."
"I bet you have," Shou smirked, "And it's pronounced 'meem.'"
"Is that so? I did not know that," Byakuren stroked her chin and nodded.
"Can we go now?" Ichirin asked and started heading for the exit.
"I'm good here," Shou said with a dessert cart being wheeled in.
"What in creation's name is that?" Byakuren yelled at Shou.
"It's obviously a dessert cart," Shou said, "You can just leave it here."
"THIS IS A HOUSE OF THE LORD!" Byakuren yelled at the top of her lungs. "AND THEY DO NOT HAVE DESSERT CARTS!" She picked up the dessert cart and threw it at the exit, blocking Ichirin's path.
"HEY!" they both yelled. Byakuren took a deep breath.
"Now ladies, and I use that term because as a woman of the Lord I can't used words like skank and fatass, you were put under me for one reason and one reason only. And it may come as a shock to both of you that is wasn't to eat you weight in sweets or lay as many man as possible. You were put here to hunt youkai!"
"Hey, if being under you will get you off my back let's go," Ichirin said.
"You didn't hear a goddamn thing I said," her eyes norrowed, "let me simplify it for you. Get your skank fatasses out there and hunt some goddamn youkai!" she yelled and booted the two out of the chruch.
"That's not how I was expecting my ass to take a pounding from her," Ichirin said rubbing her butt. She looked over at Shou who was already up and headed into the city. "Hey were are you going? You're not actaually going to hunt youkai are you?"
"Hell no, I'm heading to that restraunt with chocolate fountain," Shou said without turning around. Ichirin ran up to her.
"Hey is that the one with the cute waiter I slept with?" she asked.
"Probably, you might want to be more specific. That only narrows it down to every restraunt we've been to."
"Well what are we waiting for, let's hurry it up."
* * *
Shou was setting by herself at the table with a large cup of hot cocoa in front of her. Ichirin came up with a disapointed look on her face.
"So, how was your dessert?" Shou smirked.
"Aweful, his face was alright, but his body left a lot to be desired. Why are they all wearing such large coats!" Ichirin yelled at the sky. One of the waitresses heard this and ran up to her.
"We're sorry miss but there's something wrong with the AC," she bowed to them.
"As long as I have all the hot cocoa I can drink I don't give a crap how cold it is," she took the last sip of her drink and handed to the cup the waitress.
"Umm..." she started.
"What?" Shou's eyes narrowed.
"We hate to inform you but the cold air is getting stronger, the chocolate fountain is frozen over!" she exclaimed and bowed again.
"Tonight, hell freezes over!" Someone said from the kitchen. It was followed by screams and people running in the opposite direction.
"It's a fairy," or some varient they were screaming. Sure enough a small fairy in a blue dress walked out.
"Allow me to break the ice. My name is Cirno. Learn it well. For it's the chilling sound of your doom."
"Hey you! Did you make it this cold?" Ichirin asked the fairy.
"Yes! If I must suffer. Humanity will suffer with me! I shall repay them for sentencing me to a life without human comfort. I will blanket the city in endless winter! First, Gensokyo. And then! The world!
"Hey, give me back the chocolate fountain!" Shou yelled.
"And the hunky men in shorts!" Ichirin yelled.
"That's not the problem here," the waitress said.
"Perfect freeze!" suddenly the waitress was incased in ice.
"Are fairies youkai?" Ichirin asked.
"Hm," Shou looked at the frozen waitress. "I don't think so, but we might score some browning points with Byakuren if we defeat this one though."
"Oh wicked spirit born of a lost soul in limbo;
Receive judgment from the garb of the Holy Virgin;"
Ichirin took off her hoodie and it turned into a metal ring.
"Cleansed of worldly impurities;
Return to Heaven and Earth."
Shou took off her lotus flower and it turned into a spear.
?Repent!"
"Your bones will turn to ice! Your blood will freeze in my hands!" Cirno yelled and lunged at them.
"Ugh, Ichirin, you're not wearing a shirt again," Shou sighed and jabbed Cirno with her spear and threw her against the far wall.
"Don't be jealous. You could look like this too if you stopped stuffing your face for two seconds," she grinned and threw the ring at Cirno who starting to get up.
?Ladies should be more elegant,? she said and jammed the spear into Cirno.
"If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome." PI-CHUUUUUUUUN Cirno exploded into little pieces.
ALL CLEAR
Stage x1000 = 1000
Power x100 = 6900
Graze x10 = 0
Player = 20000
Bomb = 500000
Easy Rank x0.5
Total = 263950
"She was only worth two-hundred and fifty thousand points! What a rip-off!" Ichirin yelled while putting her shirt back on.
"Fairies aren't youkai it seems," Shou said. "At least it's warming up a little bit." She looked around, it warmed up a little bit, but the chocolate was still frozen. "Oh well, let's go." She sighed and walked out the door.
* * *
?The waitress is fine by the way. When she thawed she just had a cold and had to stay in bed a couple of days. She was fired for missing work. But that?s just the kind of world we live in. No one is going to cut you some slack in a fairy comes in and freezes you and you catch a cold. And it?s just as well, the new waitress they hired is cuter. At the rate at which they hired her, they were probably looking for any excuse to fire someone. The job market is rough out there and are you two even paying attention?? Byakuren looked out into the pews. ?Shou, I told you houses of the Lord don?t have dessert carts! And Ichirin you CAN NOT do that in here! And I don?t mean because this is a house of the lord. That is illegal in this state! I have half a mind to report you to the cops!?
FinnKaenbyou:
IT'S OVER!
keep cool, man. we be judgin'.
FinnKaenbyou:
Sorry for the delay in judging. Lots of people were busy so I needed some time to get a group together.
Anywho, we've looked through everything. Phlegeth, your entry seemed rather stream-of-consciousness, but it didn't really have the drama to it. It felt random and non-sequitur, and it was hard to make out the antithesis in the title.
The judges have compared Raikaria's story to a picture book, and it hits the topic a little cleaner than Phlegeth's does. Unfortunately it loses a little fluency as a result and it came across as a little disjointed.
Which leaves us with our winner, LogosOfJ. A few strange typos and a strange ending aside, this was easily the best written piece of the three. A great emulation of Lovecraft's style, an insightful drawing of how a cult is built and grown, and a scary outlook on what Reimu could be if she wanted it. Enjoy your Wordsmith title when Sakana comes back from Japan to give it to you. :V
Anyway, you've probably noticed a bit of a decrease in the number of entrants lately, so I'm thinking now's a good time to take a break for a month or two. Give authors time to recuperate and work on their own stuff rather than asking for new stuff every fortnight. Hopefully I'll still be able to run this amidst 3rd year uni work, but we'll have to wait and see. >.<
Raikaria:
Eh, I didn't expect to win anyway, I just felt it an interesting topic and an interesting way to go about it.
Still, I think everyone did well.