I will not be attending Otakon this year. I have decided this summer to be productive and fuck off to China to become a ninja. When I return in [REDACTED] I will become the hero Baltimore deserves, but not the hero it needs. Until that time comes you chumps are on your own keeping Mr. Potato Sack in check. (Tip: Don't drink the local water supply)
I'll be studying in China for the summer, learning to become a Pro PRC Laowai, staying in Beijing and Tianjin, wrestling between chronic mudbutt and Ciprofloxacin, pound watered down alcohol like a champ at the local bars and clubs, absorbing the deliciously thick air pollution, making stops in Chengdu, Nanjing, and Shanghai, acquiring that hot asian waifu that nerds fantasize over, and dining with Panda's family at the sanctuary.
TLDR Version: Otakon no go this summer, China fuck yeah!