> Yukari: Examine Chen.
This is your SHIKIGAMI'S SHIKIGAMI, CHEN. Thankfully she hasn't been able to acquire a shikigami of her own, or this cycle of redundancy could go on forever.
You do not have direct control over her, but since you can order Ran to give her orders, she's essentially your subordinate as well. Unfortunately, she is not even remotely as disciplined as Ran, so it is rare that both Ran and Chen are following your orders perfectly enough for Chen to benefit from your powers. When she does, though, she's a tiny fuzzy wrecking ball.
What you like about Chen the most is how rambunctious she is. It was too quiet around here before she showed up. Being a troublemaker is the sign of a healthy youkai!
You would tell her to use a fork, but you're pretty sure it's cleaner when she eats with her hands, somehow.
> Yukari: Manipulate border of cuteness and make Chen cuter.She's already pretty cute. Your ability revolves around changing things into their opposites; if you were to manipulate the border of cuteness on Chen, you'd be making her less cute.
> Yukari: Manipulate border of purple, hijack purple command interpreter.
Nope! Even your MANIPULATION OF BORDERS is no match for my MANIPULATION OF PLOT.
> Yukari: Engage in morning voyeurism.Let's see what Reimu is up to.
Yup, there's Reimu, Reimuing it up. You swear she spends at least half her time sweeping and/or drinking tea. So much tea. You wouldn't be surprised if her blood was green by now.
Reimu doesn't know anything about the party going on today. If she knew there was a huge bash going on and she hadn't been invited to it, she'd be furious, so you'll be sure to tell her all about it tomorrow.
How about that moon princess? Apparently she'll actually be leaving Eientei to attend the party today.
Knowing her, she'd probably be waking up about now. You wonder if she's decent.
She's not.
You consider checking on Yuyuko, but you'll be seeing her in a few minutes anyway, and it's more fun to just crash in on whatever she's doing at the moment anyway.
> Yukari: Acquire additional pancakes.
You ask Ran to make some more pancakes to give to Yuyuko. She has to try these.
Ran complies. Meanwhile, you go through the house to pick up the rest of what you need for the party.
> Yukari: Acquire parasol.
You grab your PARASOLENOID. This parasol is specially designed for channeling and emitting danmaku. It doesn't make you any stronger, it just looks cool when you do it.
In case you can't tell by how you've decorated the fuck out of this thing, you love your parasol dearly. It makes you look so classy and mysterious! Well, it would if everyone in Gensokyo didn't already know what a pain in the ass you are.
> Yukari: Examine Chekhov's Gun.You open your gun cabinet to have a quick look at CHEKHOV'S GUN.
Yep. Still there.
WAIT. NO. SHIT.
WHY?
WHY DID YOU DO THAT?
The magic of the gun kicks in. It is now ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY for this gun to become relevant to the plot somewhere down the line. You disdainfully add it to your inventory. This fucking thing is worse than a monkey's paw, you can't get rid of it.
Better get a move on before you pick up any more of the HORRIBLE CURSED ARTIFACTS you keep laying around.
> Yukari: Get a move on.You ask Ran if the pancakes are ready yet. She says of course not, she only started them two minutes ago. She tells you to head off to HAKUGYOKUROU, and that she'll be right behind you. Works for you.
You head off into GAPSPACE. Chen goes with you, as she is always happy to see "Aunt Yuyuko".
> Yukari: Examine gapspace.
A lot of people wonder about the CREEPY EYES that are always staring from inside your gaps. In reality, there aren't actually any eyes there. It's just a trick you devised to allow others to see the EDGES OF GAPSPACE. Since the average viewer cannot see through the edge, but also cannot perceive borders from the inside (not even as a black void), the edges simply reflect what is being used to view them: eyes. You try to keep the NON-EUCLIDEAN BULLSHIT to a minimum, it actually gets old fast.
You're content to let people believe it's the eyes of countless GAP HORRORS staring back at them. Nope, it's just window dressing! If they were actual GAP HORRORS you'd have to be pretty lucky to see them coming. Speaking of which, you should really cut their population down again. You've been putting that off for a while.
As long as you're thinking about PUBLIC MISCONCEPTIONS about your gaps, why not go over the GAPSPACE'S true purpose?
Although you like to maintain the public perception of how UNFATHOMABLY VAST your gaps are, the truth is that this BORDER SPACE that you use to get around (and for SHENANIGANS) is kept at a very exact and finite size. That's because this is actually the space that seperates the GREAT HAKUREI BORDER from the OUTSIDE WORLD. If it was TOO SMALL, it wouldn't be able to contain Gensokyo and the border between it and the outside world would become DANGEROUSLY THIN, but if it got TOO BIG, it could easily suck big chunks of Gensokyo into it. You are pretty diligent about maintaining this balance. Usually.
Well, whatever! You're sure none of this will be relevant today.
> Yukari: Enter the Netherworld.You enter HAKUGYOKUROU, the home of your best friend, the GHOST PRINCESS YUYUKO SAIGYOUJI. The grounds are meticulously clean, as always. The yama pays her pretty well to look after the spirits of the departed that pass through here. You consider yourself lucky that you're able to just waltz in here whenever you want. All the other chumps have to take the stairs. Seriously, FUCK THOSE STAIRS. There should be a warning posted outside about the stairs.
Yuyuko's groundskeeper and bodyguard, YOUMU KONPAKU, sees you come in, and waves to greet you. Yuyuko pops out from inside the house and waves as well, telling you she'll be out in JUST A MINUTE. She tells Youmu to entertain you for a bit.
On a level imperceptible to all but the most careful observers, Youmu breaks into a cold sweat.
It's because she knows. She knows what's coming.
It's because she knows she is about to be teased.
> _
