> Patchouli: Thank Koakuma.Pfft. You'll thank her when she starts doing the rest of her job properly, which will be never.
Koakuma endlessly procrastinates on any task you give her, with no intention of doing it at all if she can get away with it.
You can force Koakuma to do anything you say by using a FAMILIAR CONTROL SPELL on her, but the spell is INCONVENIENTLY VERBOSE. She seems to take it as a personal victory whenever you have to resort to using it. Fortunately, there are much easier spells you can use as motivation.

To be honest, you wish you could just get rid of her and get a proper familiar rather than dealing with this demon contract labor, but for that you'd need to invest in the SUMMONTECH tree.
> Patchouli: Realize Koakuma would be more helpful if you would just treat her better.Sorry, you don't have enough EMPATHY to complete this action.

What, do you think you're still playing Ichirin or something? Sorry, but you're in PATCHYTOWN now, where it's ALL SURLY, ALL THE TIME. Maybe things would change if you went on some kind of JOURNEY OF FRIENDSHIP AND SELF-DISCOVERY, but that's not happening anytime soon, and certainly not today.
> Patchouli: Examine chalkboard.
Curses! The MAID FAIRIES have recklessly doodled all over your blackboard again. You had a perfectly good batch of notes here on how to use the Water/Wood interaction to accelerate the growth of magic mushrooms, too.
You could've sworn you hid the colored chalk. They must have gotten ahold of some of their own, somehow.
> Patchouli: Examine footrest.
This GARGOYLE FOOTREST Remi bought is in such bad taste, yet so comfortable. SO COMFORTABLE.
> Patchouli: Examine wine rack.
This is not a wine rack. It's a scroll rack.
Well, okay, it is technically a wine rack. And, okay, it currently has as much wine in it as it does scrolls. But the point is that you use it as a scroll rack.
> Patchouli: Examine phonograph.
You bought this phonograph in the 1940s, back when the SDM was still in France. It ceased to function eventually, but a few years ago you hired a kappa to fix it, and it is currently back in working form. Furthermore, the kappa upgraded it to make it capable of playing modern formats such as COMPACT DISCS, much like the KAPPATECH MODELS. However, this phonograph is powered by your magic instead of CUCUMBER BIOFUEL.
> Patchouli: Examine CD.
This is a fairly recent EXPERIMENTAL ALBUM in which Kurodani tried her hand at DROPPING SOME SICK RHYMES.
Since your ability to cast spells is tied directly to the speed at which you can recite incantations, you have taken an interest in RAP MUSIC due to the VERBAL AGILITY it promotes. At first, you didn't care much for the actual songs at all, but they've been growing on you as of late.
FOR SOME REASON, as soon as Margatroid caught wind of this, she took up rapping as well. She is currently your
RAP RIVAL.
> _(getting to the rest of the stuff, just breaking up the update)