Nooo ;-;
You are the worst AI :qq:
> rewire Hanzo's teleporters into the actually unpleasant bits of my dungeon
5: You successfully manage to divert some of Hanzo's teleporters to lead to your dungeon. Your AI prepares a welcome for any guests who may be in need of assistance. It also serves you a glass of cranberry juice. (+1 to your next roll)
>Devour Smashy!
6+1: You attempt to use Smashy!
Smashy must roll to dodge!5:
Oak: Purvis! This isn't the time to use that! (+1 to your next roll)
>Gain the power of Hanzo's fire so we may properly enjoy the steakhouse!
5+1: You try to take Hanzo's fire and accidentally start sucking the very life from him!
Hanzo must roll to dodge!4-1: Hanzo deflects you with some fire, but he's hurtin'. (-1 to your next roll)
Wait a minute!
I can't feed on the brains of the living...
SAYS NOTHING ABOUT THE BRAINS OF THE DEAD!
>Take out your newfound carniverous glee on a surprisingly murderous Purvis. If he dies, free brain!
1+1: You attempt to attack Purvis for his brain, but your hunger makes you sluggish and weak. You can't even catch him.
> Create CATACLYSM MUFFIN
1+1: You attempt to finally craft the legendary CATACLYSM MUFFIN. But your oven is totally insufficient! The CATACLYSM MUFFIN can only be baked in the FIRES OF ETERNAL PUNISHMENT.
> Eat Cataclysm Muffin.
6+1: You eat the Cataclysm Muffin. The lack of allcaps merely means an extremely large muffin, marbled with chocolate and vanilla and iced enough to give even the hardiest of men a stomachache.
It is delicious.
> Solve the stage fright problem by positioning the orchestra with their backs to the audience.
3: You position the orchestra facing away from the audience, but some hooligans take advantage of this to sneak up behind them and yell, throwing off their timing. Morale is at an all-time low. (-1 to your next roll)
> @#Fj029jf@FMO#@#f combat usable item only (and squeaky noises while we're at it)
2+1: W$%jseu@#$%L1MLN#%$
You are now a level 17 AEFU*@#%*@HN (-1 to your next roll)
> Play the 5 go up a level cards I got from hoard and the potted plants and reach Level 9.
2+1: You gain a few levels, but your fellow players play a Duck of Doom! You should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeon! (-1 to your next roll)
Well, guess this is plenty of teleporters for now.
>Stop adding teleporter floors
5-1: You've no idea where you are. Now sounds like a good idea to not have more teleporters around.
OKAY.
>OOOs BELT. BECAUSE I CAN DO TAMASHII.
6: You get OOOs belt! It is currently worn by OOO!
AWWW YEAH
That's actually a good idea.
>Develop a cure for cancer. And then another one, in case the first one fails or becomes ineffective.
6+1: You develop a cure for cancer. It also cures everything else. You don't even know how that works! But there's only one...
>Sudden all-inclusive Roll to Dodge contest involving manly quests, like beer swilling, beard growing, arm wrestling, caber tossing, and other comraderie growing adventures!
1: You attempt to create a Mass Roll to Dodge, but the parser fortunately rolls a 1 and shuts that down. Do you want this update or not?
Dang it, two 3's in a row?
Do I get a prize if I get 3 3's?
Anyway,
>Prepare anti Cataclysm Muffin
3-1: You get no prize. And no muffin.
Just gives me time to.. ..How did I know this would happen? ;_;
> Run to the nearest teleporter and bumble into the correct sequence to safety through sheer comedic incompetence
2: You try to run to a teleporter, but the constant shrieking causes you to lose your sense of direction. Several indistinct shapes flit by your face. You are losing track of time and space...
>Check to see whether there are any heirs to the former ruler hanging around. If any are found, offer them a job.
6+1: It turns out that the monarch had a son. You offer them a job. They take it.
You have just abdicated. Well done!
BUFFEDChisou Taizen
OUCHEDKasu
Smashy
I have no name
SERIOUSLY OUCHED-
DEADED(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADEDPesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
QUIT(Sourfang)
