And with that tasty snack out of the way...
> AWAKEN THE DROWSY SWORD
3: You call to the blade. It awakens just long enough to delevel you.
(-1 to your next roll)
> #f2#FP(@#fj2lkfj to the nearest inn
6+1: #$*%HN#$*
But there aren't any inns in this game! You've found a casino, though!
Sorry, I'm new to this :/
> enter first floor of dungeon and punch stuff
5: You enter the dungeon and punch a dude! He drops five gold pieces. Awesome! (+1 to your next roll)
>Turn in three matching cards and mobilize your armies into Ukraine!
>Land on three Pay Days in a row!
>Perform a rare and diffcult double-tower removal!
>Nab the wishbone without touching the metal borders with the tweezers!
>I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT WE'RE PLAYING ANYMORE AAAAAAH
5: You stealthily move your knight to Millionaire Estates and draw a card, which turns out to be Afghanistan. Success. (+1 to your next roll)
> Now's my chance! Take out Edible's Queen with my Bishop!
4-1: Hah! You take his queen and draw a card! But it's the House and Hotel Repairs card! That runs you $480. (-1 to your next roll)
> Disregard milk, obtain balance
2: The milk is astonishingly bad at disregarding you and spins you around a couple more times.
>You're going to need better speeches than that. Go find the nearest library and read some plays and stuff.
6: You go to the library and pick up a recording of Patrick Stewart performing in Shakespeare. Your mind feels enlightened and your self-confidence swells.
> Convince evil master that he can't be superior with Purvis's muscular body in existence. He must be.. eliminated.
6+1: You point this out, but it seems your master is fixated on something far worse...his suit.
What have you done.
>Unlock the doors. ALL OF THEM.
3: You unlock one door before you break your pick. Stupid unlocking minigame. (-1 to your next roll)
How did I manage to get revived and ouched at the same time. Dood.
Either way...
>Do menial stable work for the unicorns until I work off my sin debt, dood.
3-1: Menial work? Dood...you're just gonna take it easy, dood. Not worth getting all worked up over.
>Become dapper by equipping top hat, monocle, and cane.
5: You become a Dapper Peanut Bob. It is like a Dapper Dan, but infinitely more Bob. Also you kinda look like the Planters mascot.
>Ask the benevolent unicorns if they have an extra relic to spare politely.
2-1: You are rude, and crude, and very much a boor. And thus the unicorns, with their frat boy sense of humor, grant you a
relic.
>UPGRADE TTIIIMMMEE
2: Whoops. Turns out you're not compatible with the CT7 cores. Well, that bites.
>Beat Momijibot to death with Guardian Tempest. Pinkies up!
1+1: GuardianTempest is nowhere to be found. And you'd rather not deal with the unicorns if you can avoid it. Disgusting creatures. Absolutely no class. All they care about is finding some pretty maiden to hit on. It's disturbing, and you're a creature of the void, for
's sake.
Bah, useless minions! The lot of them!
...Well, I suppose I could do the typical thing of a Bad Boss and level grind off my own minions.
...Nah, that's the easy way.
>Add an additional 50 floor basement to the tower and transfer real self there, leaving a very convincing fake that is exactly 1/2 my power at the top, and a fake that is 1/3rd my power in the midway section of the tower.
2: Your minions are far too useless for that! Get better ones!
>Continue to our challenge with Dithmus Bis
2: You were disqualified for leaving! It looks like you'll never get to face off against the Master himself...
>Play chess with someone.
5: You play a quick round of chess with a mysterious masked and cowled figure. You get destroyed, but you have learned much. (+1 to your next roll)
BUFFEDChisou Taizen
Shadoweh
Edible
Desu_Cake
OUCHEDDr Awkwardj
Kasu
Nanaya Kikasu
SERIOUSLY OUCHED-
DEADED(rdj)
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
Kasu?
Hanzo?
(Sourfang)
Marokuu
PERMADEADEDPesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
PX
Schezo
Phlegeth
Conqueror
Dormio
QUIT(Sourfang)
