Alright, that was fun, but enough screwing around.
>Switch to King Frost and Pendragon, and get to making with the asskicking!
6: You become an unholy hybrid of King Frost and Pendragon. It's scaly and icy and not at all pleasant!
> f@#KJF@ngv23l3 until the Illuminas are Smashys
4: Q#$%AN$^W%$^##!
Your inventory now contains 255 Smashys. Unfortunately, your party is now equipped with Dirks in all slots, and as Espers. (They don't have any good skills, either.)
> Initiate the Boopocalypse. We Boos have had enough of this treatment!
4: With a chittering laugh, you usher in the age of the Boo!
Everyone must roll to dodge at the end of this update!>Kick the shit out of Kasu and the boos for stealing my lunch money. Even though I already spent it.
3: You start beating on one of the Boos, but it seems they're growing smarter, and traveling in pairs... (-1 to your next roll)
>How many licks does it take to get to the brain center of a ... brain?
1: You don't know, you're eating a Tootsie Pop. Where did you even get that?
>Clean off glasses, then search again for some sort of weapon.
3: You clean your glasses, but suddenly the edges are all sharp and you slice your hands open again on them! It's some kind of nightmare! (-1 to your next roll)
Well, guess there's only one thing to do, then.
> Steal gold...FROM THE EARTH!
5+1: You dig into the earth, getting stuck at a few hard bits (geez, who stuck concrete here?) and are rewarded at last with the sight of a room stocked with shiny shiny gold bars! You make off with a bunch.
A few days later you hear something in the news about a Fort Knox. You pay it no mind.
>Convince my newfound ally that it is a good idea to shank the parser.
4: You let Phlegeth know this! But Phlegeth is a bit busy with the wolves.
>Chuck wolves at the standing stones!
4: You hurl the wolves into the stones. Unfortunately, while Skyrim has falling damage, it doesn't seem to have collision damage in the same way. The wolves come back and savage you some more. It's kinda cute.
>Erase the abomination off the face of existence Kill everyone with a Quickening.
EDIT:
Achievement Unlocked: Villain of the Roll
2: Quickenings are for scrubs who can't play the game (or don't have the patience for the early boss fights).
>Desecrate GuardianTempest with newfound understanding of time.
4-1: You attempt to bend time to your will again, but this time you only get a headache. (-1 to your next roll)
>Lend UK a whale-dragon hybrid to aid her efforts in desecrating GuardianTempest.
4: Now that is just one horribly tormented and misshapen creature. You attempt to put it out of its misery by chucking it at GuardianTempest!
GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!1: GuardianTempest has been crushed by a Dracokana. <(^__
v__________________
v__^)>
GuardianTempest has died!>"I have strode through the abyss. I have became the Nuclear Chaos, The Blind Idiot God, Demonic Sovereign. But all rulers come to an end..."
>Evolve into Cthulhu.
3: One does not simply snap their fingers and become an Elder One! The path to R'lyeh is a long an arduous road, and even the first steps make your soul shrivel in horror. (-1 to your next roll)
>Employ non-Euclidian geometries to endlessly push Guardian Tempest off a bridge until he stops references things that are sucky and/or lame
5: You attempt to trap GuardianTempest in an Escher!
GuardianTempest must roll to dodge!3: Being dead does give you some insight into non-conventional geometry. Being rammed headfirst into an abstract idea still hurts, though. (-1 to your next roll)
> Make UK shoot lasers in order to make people say 'omg kittens go pew pew pew'
2-1: You shoot lasers at UK! Why would you do that?!
UncertainKitten must roll to dodge!4-1: The lasers don't hurt a great deal, but your headache spikes nastily again. (-1 to your next roll)
>Take the punch in stride, after all, Shim did give Bob some nice books....
5-1: You walk it off like Vimes on a rainy night.
> Spontaneously generate a new soul.
2: I'm sorry, I must have missed the sign that said "12 souls, 10 cents".
> Ask the beholders if they have any recently deceased, because I require an eye, and wouldn't want to make the living give up theirs.
1: You inquire about this, but it seems that your question is misunderstood. The beholders turn as one to the one you were speaking to and fire. There is a blinding flash, and then all that remains is a single eyestalk atop a pile of ash.
You obtain: BEHOLDER EYE.
>Turn the void into a woman and make her my waifu.
No. Especially after JT's topic.
>Cast heal upon everyone.
3: You heal the wounded (just Phlegeth at this point) but the effort involved exhausts you. (-1 to your next roll)
>Camp behind the spawning point and whack any stragglers on the head with my broom.
2: You wait behind the spawn, grinning to yourself, until you realize you've started sweeping up. And humming.
It's kinda cute.
UK: 4-1: Okay this headache is really getting you and now there are Boos bothering you and arrrgghh (-1 to your next roll)
Mirdj Harvent: 5: You chuck some gold at the Boos while yelling "I don't believe in ghoooooosts!" (+1 to your next roll)
PX: 1+1: Someone's not paying attention.
PX is seriously wounded!Hanzo: 6: Whatever you've become, it's powerful enough to fight the Boos and Kasu alike!
Kasu must roll to dodge!2: Ouch! Frozen dragon fangs and stuff!
Kasu is seriously wounded!Sourfang: 5: Your dragons contemptuously wipe out a swath of the Boos. (+1 to your next roll)
Orin: Inactivity murder! Orin has lost the game!Phlegeth: 5: You charm one of the wolves and have it fight off the Boos for you. (+1 to your next roll)
Edible: 5: Fellow undead! Would you like a Tootsie Pop? No? Okay then.
Smashy: 6: @#$*%B W#$*H$QQ($%#IQm!
Kasu must roll to dodge!5: Kasu manages to escape from the glitched battle before it crashed the game. That was close! (+1 to your next roll)
Marokuu: 6: You fight to reclaim a soul!
Kasu must roll to dodge!4+1: Kasu likes that soul right where it is, thanks very much. (+1 to your next roll)
Shadoweh: 2: It turns out your lasers kinda suck!
Shadoweh is seriously wounded!Allosawyou: 1: Boos are really bad at dealing with Beholders. Too many eyes. So they all go for the target of opportunity.
Allosawyou has died!Ran: 6: You too charm a wolf, sending this one straight at Kasu!
Kasu must roll to dodge!6+1: Alas, poor wolf. It didn't deserve that, man.
Schezo: 6-1: You're already beating down the Boos, a few more won't stop you. (+1 to your next roll)
Cho'Purvis: 5: Boos don't handle THE VOID well. (+1 to your next roll)
Shebobshim: 2: Even a god can fall to an apocalypse.
Shebobshim is seriously wounded!Desu_Cake: 3-1: Your exhaustion makes you an easy target for a mob of Boos!
Desu_Cake is seriously wounded!Amra: 1: Justice is come.
Amra has lost the game!GuardianTempest: 5: Boos are pretty badly statted. (+1 to your next roll)
Nanaya Kikasu: 2-1: Alas, your fragile mind snaps under the assault of little laughing ghosts.
Nanaya Kikasu has died!Kinoko: Inactivity murder! Kinoko has lost the game!Patorikku: 2-1: You are trapped in your own nightmares, you realize. Everything is blood and cruel sharp edges and vengeful spirits.
Patorikku has died!Conqueror: 2: You ineffectually attempt to sweep some of the Boos away.
Conqueror is seriously wounded!
BUFFEDMirdj Harvent
Sourfang
Phlegeth
Edible
Schezo
Cho'Purvis
GuardianTempest
OUCHEDUK
SERIOUSLY OUCHEDPX
Kasu
Shadoweh
Shebobshim
Desu_Cake
Conqueror
DEADED(rdj)
PX
Edible?
Smashy
(Shadoweh)
(Ran)
Allosawyou
Nanaya Kikasu
Patorikku
GuardianTempest
PERMADEADEDPesco
Ex-Nue
GM Potato
Remilius
Yog-N'yggoth
Spiderpig
Alpha Werewolf
Orin
Kinoko
Amra
omg kittens go pew pew pew
