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| Entry 23 - Still More Staffers To Go Through - Esifex |
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| Esifex:
--- Quote from: Suikama Dash on July 22, 2011, 09:54:45 PM ---Read this and tell me how much it relates to you. --- End quote --- Got through the first chapter, looked again at the rest of the chapters I am deliberately keeping myself celibate, it's not because of some sort of frustration. That book seems to culminate in 'How To Stuff Your Penis In The Vaginas Of Your Choosing'. That doesn't relate to me at all. Nice Guy Syndrome? Yes. A lot. Wanting to fuck something to relieve stress? No. Not in the slightest. Especially not with any of the women in my local area, in my generation. None of them have any clue what they themselves want to begin with, and the ones that do know what they want don't want a relationship. I'm not going to settle for some clueless broad who's going to be miserable with me or without me just so I can be miserable, too. I get enough misery just from knowing this. Knowing it, and knowing that it's going to be an issue until I can get out of Florida, and put myself where people are more concerned with looking ahead in their lives, rather than making sure they're Alpha Dog in the pack. While I am made a little uncomfortable by how many bullseyes that comparison list of Common Traits for Nice Guys hits with me, I'm also incredibly offended by the notion that I won't be happy until I can command a woman to submit to my cock. I'm sorry, but that's just absolute fucking bullshit. You can say that's just the virgin in me talking, that I don't know what I'm talking about - because honestly, no, I don't have any direct experience in sex. But I can tell you what I've noticed has happened to the people around me once they started getting sexual - misery. More misery on top of their already hectic and frankly fucked-up daily lives. Yes, deliberately fighting my own body causes undue stress that frankly frustrates me. But right now? With the choices I have available to me? It's the lesser of two evils. By far. Maybe I need to stop being such a doormat to my friends - definitely - but the last thing I need is to buy into the ideology that 'fucking things makes you happy'. I have yet to see a single shred of evidence to that, from all the people around me. Don't try to make an example of the joys of child rearing. I'm 23 and unemployed. A child would ruin me and I won't be able to raise it in a way that would make me proud as a human being. Every other person around me that's had sex already, including the great many of them who have kids already - and yes, remember, I'm in Florida, and the high school I went to was nicknamed Chlamydia High, and in middle school, no less than a dozen girls out of a student body of just under 500 got pregnant - have been nothing but miserable, terrible people. I'll take anger issues that I can regulate through meditation over becoming someone that I'd be disgusted to be. No matter how many times I have to make that choice. |
| Esifex:
Music for the sake of loving music --- Quote from: Hanzo K. on July 22, 2011, 09:30:46 PM ---What if it was a marshmallow that looked and tasted exactly like a fine block of Parmesan? Your preferred cheeses? personally, I'm quite partial of Parmesan myself, but I wont say no to a nice block of pepperjack. --- End quote --- Parmesan marshmallow would be weird, just because of the texture. Bleh. Shivers just thinking about it. I'm a big fan of pepperjack, myself. Made myself some poached eggs for breakfast this morning and put them on a sandwich with a slice of pepperjack and some crushed red peppers. I'm a spice aficionado. THE SPICE MUST FLOW 8| --- Quote from: Squawkers on July 22, 2011, 09:44:44 PM ---When writing, would you say it's accurate that you put your own emotions into the work? (I'm thinking about this because I just finished the first arc of White Rose, and that ending bit... dear god, I almost cried.) When writing, what would you say is a good balance between emotional drama and comedy? --- End quote --- I try to make an effort to feel similarly to a situation at hand while writing a scene, but I've found that that doesn't always make the emotion transfer very easily. For example? If I'm bawling my eyes out because I'm a sobbing, snotty mess who can't see straight, I'm obviously not going to be writing at the top of my game. So at times, I force myself to be as emotionally neutral as I can be while writing, then go back and re-read it and tweak it slightly to make sure it works right. Then, I browse my incredibly huge library of music available to me and see if I can't find a song that amplifies the emotion I'm trying for at that particular scene. And since I'm usually listening to music no matter what I'm doing (even while sleeping, I leave a playlist going on my computer {which isn't specifically geared towards 'sleep-therapy' music or anything - it's just music I like to listen to until I fall asleep}), I'll occasionally make sure that what I'm listening to won't trigger the emotion I'm writing for, ergo screwing me up in the middle of writing. But, I'm not as extreme as Ruro, in this regard - I'll never turn to Brittany Spears while writing :derp: By the way, I did cry while reading White Rose. Since I have - for the most part - gone out of my way to suppress any powerful emotions, when I'm in a safe environment (like, my room, at home, and I'm settled down to do some reading) I won't fight it if it comes up. It's very refreshing at times, y'know? Gets all the nasty out of you. Like puking, for the soul. (Cookies if anyone recognizes that quote) As for a balance between comedy in the midst of drama, I feel that even in daily life people do their best to inject whatever flavor of humor they have into any situation at hand. Because when you look around and step back and really think hard about it, you realize, life sucks, man. But only if you let it get to you. There's no reason to stop and dwell on that, so you're better off just hiking up your skirt and pressing on, and laughing at whatever you can afford to. That being said, though, there are obviously times where humor isn't appreciated. I think I probably would've hauled off and decked someone if I heard anyone crack a joke at my Granpa's funeral, if I weren't weak as a kitten at the time. For comedy in the midst of emotional drama, that's when it becomes situational. If someone is grieving? You don't joke about the subject at hand. Anything else is fair game. If they're just sad about something? The subject matter is fair game now, to a certain extent. You don't want to have someone come across as being unnecessarily vicious to someone when they're sad - that'll just come across as kicking someone when they're down. But if there's a dynamic between the characters and you can make the one crack a joke that makes the other burst out laughing through all the snot and tears they're suffering through, then that is a good way of showing a good connection between the characters. If the sad person can smile and say 'You're such a dork!', then obviously the humor was in good taste. If the expected response is 'What the fuck, you ass!' then, no, comedy has gone a little too far into bad territory. |
| Hanzo K.:
Hell yeah. Gotta love a nice and spicy meal. I've always wanted to try super-spicy curry myself. Wasn't there a special documentary or something on the world's spiciest curry? Can't remember for the life of me what it was called though, but I'd like to try it someday.. What it it was a Block of cheese that tasted like a marshmallow? |
| Jana:
--- Quote from: Esifex on July 23, 2011, 01:34:42 AM ---I am deliberately keeping myself celibate, it's not because of some sort of frustration. ... Yes, deliberately fighting my own body causes undue stress that frankly frustrates me. But right now? With the choices I have available to me? It's the lesser of two evils. By far. --- End quote --- I think you're being a little unclear, so let me choose my words carefully. Are you remaining celibate because you think sex is some kind of corrupting influence? It's pretty plain to see that you're hurting yourself already, whatever method and reason you've got. To be frank, I think your words are a little... Offensive? |
| Mimachiro:
Who's the most influential person in your life and why? Do you think Gensokyou exists somewhere? (Besides in the minds of ZUN and others) If you could use danmaku, what would your bullets be? |
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