THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE DOCTORYou appear you have an issue with idolisation. I know this might be hard for you to accept, but there is actually more than one doctor. Go home and think about this.
ONLY ONE
Wait, you mean liking the beautiful woman with the tails isn't healthy?Did you, perhaps, have a beloved pet who died recently? Perhaps this interest of yours is just a sign you haven't really let go.
A BUSTY SHINIGAMI OR A KITSUNE!?Have you ever considered a girl who exists outside of your computer screen? Just as a suggestion.
WHO SHOULD I PICK AND WHO SHOULD I FORGET!?
Did you, perhaps, have a beloved pet who died recently? Perhaps this interest of yours is just a sign you haven't really let go.
My tooth hurt, I need you to kiss it and make it betterYou seek attention in order to make up for your poor grasp of the English language. I'm afraid all I can offer you in terms of help is this dictionary, and a reminder that all sentences need to end with a punctuation mark of some sort.
For this I recommend... the guillotine~You are conflicted over whether you are adopted and believe your true parents are in fact French. Talk to your family about this posthaste.
No, but I miss my mother...These glasses might be better for you than they are for me, then. Here.
Dr Komeiji, I have an uncontrollable fetish for purple haired telepaths. What should I do?Your interest in telepaths is a sign that you believe no-one understands you, that only by looking deep into your heart can anyone see you for you who are. Purple is the colour of wealth, so I believe you are afraid people judge you based on your financial standing rather than your personality. Take this lottery ticket.
...And what are you doing after work~? ;)
These glasses might be better for you than they are for me, then. Here.
You are conflicted over whether you are adopted and believe your true parents are in fact French. Talk to your family about this posthaste.I decapitated them :smug:
And I suppose enjoying chopping a certain immortal's head off isn't healthy either?Chopping off heads? Our interests seem to overlap. May I recommend the guillotine?
And I suppose enjoying chopping a certain immortal's head off isn't healthy either?
Time is limited and I do not like that fact.These actually seem highly related. Mr. Dusty, your hatred of the immortals is perhaps a sign that you cannot accept death; Mr. Axman, there is nothing more disturbing than realising your own time is limited.
How does one get by said fact!?
But the pain. It hearts.Do you have a secret love you have not confessed? A Freudian slip such as that speaks volumes.
Return that van to it's proper owner, you thief :<You seem to have guilt issues. Did you forget to return a library book on time as a young child, and never really forgive yourself for it? Look deep into your heart.
I don't need therapy. All you do is get paid to listen, and then one thing leads to a mother- uh, I mean another, um, and besides which, I am normal and well-adjusted with a keen sense of penis. SELF! I meant keen sense of self.You seem perfectly healthy to me, sir.
I decapitated them :smug:Have you ever considered visiting your local police station? Perhaps they can help you with your problems.
Have you ever considered visiting your local police station? Perhaps they can help you with your problems.They couldn't. They only had about 20 people there, didn't even keep my busy for half an hour >:D
Mr. Iryan, take your absurdism elsewhere. You do not appear to have any crippling mental issues like the tragic souls I'm trying to support here.Or maybe it is that everybody else is fine, and we have the mental problems!
:sword!::freud!:
You certainly don't dress very professionally. Shouldn't you at least be wearing a white coat?Your criticisms of me are merely a reflection of your own feelings of worthlessness. Don't judge yourself by the clothes you wear.
They couldn't. They only had about 20 people there, didn't even keep my busy for half an hour >:DHave you tried using the guillotine on yourself? I guarantee it will keep you busy for the rest of your life.
Or maybe it is that everybody else is fine, and we have the problems!Take this copy of Twilight and ponder on the fact that people enjoy this novel. Then you can accept that there are other people out there much more mentally damaged than you.
Take this copy of Twilight and ponder on the fact that people enjoy this novel. Then you can accept that there are other people out there much more mentally damaged than you.But that is the problem: If you can enjoy anything, even the most retarded and painful anomalies space-time has to offer, wouldn't that permanently render you the happiest person in the universe and, thus, your life (and yourself) superior to everyone else?
But that is the problem: If you can enjoy anything, even the most retarded and painful anomalies space-time has to offer, wouldn't that permanently render you the happiest person in the universe and, thus, your life (and yourself) superior to everyone else?"It is better to be a human dissatisfied than a pig satisfied; better to be Socrates dissatisfied than a fool satisfied." ~ J.S. Mill
These actually seem highly related. Mr. Dusty, your hatred of the immortals is perhaps a sign that you cannot accept death.
I hate myself. Every last bit of me. I can state with confidence that the world would be improved by my immediate demise.Have you considered that you may be conflicted as to your gender? It certainly seems to apply to a large majority of this forum, at least.
'Dr.' Komeiji? Do you have credentials? The fact that you tout Sigmund Freud as your idol makes me think you sorely lack the ability to advise anyone on psychological matters, but at least you look cute in glasses.I have no official qualifications, on the basis that the Old Hell has no educational facilities to speak of. As for Freud, the only books I've ever had to study were those that Koishi gave to me from above ground. She seemed fascinated by his theories, for some reason.
Also, is it true you read minds?Why the lack of trust in my abilities? Are you afraid of believing others? Were you hurt early in your life by a person you placed your faith in who let you down? If so, perhaps you should accept it and learn to move on regardless.
What? I don't hate her, silly.Hmm. Perhaps I should see this friend of yours when I have the chance. For now, though, I prescribe anger management courses.
She loves having her head cut off.
Hmm. Perhaps I should see this friend of yours when I have the chance. For now, though, I prescribe anger management courses.
I hate myself. Every last bit of me. I can state with confidence that the world would be improved by my immediate demise.May I recommend the guillotine? :koishi:
Does that mean you can see what i'm imagining right now? :3Did your mother take you to a lot of swimming pools as a child? Was she a magician's assistant who was tied up in a variety of acts? Do you feel angry because she let her work get in the way of spending time with you, and thus these flights of fancy are your way of getting back at her?
What's wrong with doing something we enjoy doing? Sure, there's a lot of blood to clean up, but it's fun! Here, I'll let you try.It's my job to put your head back together, not remove it from the rest of your body. I will hold onto this for your own good, though.
/me hands Dr. Komeiji an axe.
May I recommend the guillotine? :koishi:You have severe feelings of self-doubt, indicated by your need to copy the comedic material of others. Have faith in yourself.
It's my job to put your head back together, not remove it from the rest of your body. I will hold onto this for your own good, though.
Dr. Komeiji, I hate being told I have psychological problems. Am I normal?
Dr. Komeiji, I hate being told I have psychological problems. Am I normal?You are obsessed with paradoxes. Accept that some things cannot be grasped by the human mind.
Paradox!The DSM-IV begs to differ.
There are so many different psychological issues a person can have that the majority of people are weird in at least some way. There is only a small minority of people who could be considered normal, which, in turn, makes them abnormal.
Why am I so obsessed with green haired mikos and fairies then, doc?Jealousy. Do you have friends who seem fantastic, almost magical in comparison to you? Maybe you should sit down with them and admit your true feelings.
Koishi, I thought I told you not to interrupt me while I'm working.
Jealousy. Do you have friends who seem fantastic, almost magical in comparison to you? Maybe you should sit down with them and admit your true feelings.
Aww...but it's fun onee-chan~. Some of these patients of yours look really fun to play with~. Can't I at least take one of them and play with them a bit~? Gpop is off to some "prom" it seems :ohdear:
Doctor, I have no psychological flaws and, in that regard, feel left out. Please make some up for me.I have a feeling you two can solve each other's problems. Koishi, he's all yours.
Dr. Komeiji, I seem to have some slight favoritism towards "bookish" types of people. What does this mean?You are uncertain around people; you like the sort of character that doesn't hide secrets, and whose emotions can be read like a book. You're afraid of being lied to, possibly as a result of some earlier trauma in your life.
No, you're wrong, I don't have friends like that.Then you're not being honest with me, and we'll sit down for several expensive sessions until you either agree with me or give me something else to work with.
Doctor, I- I'm going through a hard time. got any t- ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOKOMEIJIKoishi, didn't we discuss you hypnotising random passers-by without permission?
I have a feeling you two can solve each other's problems. Koishi, he's all yours.
Koishi, didn't we discuss you hypnotising random passers-by without permission?
Waaaiit a second there, permission?
... Ya mean there'd be a scenario when you'd ALLOW her to hypnotize people... possibly against their will!?
MY MIND IS NO LONGER SAFE!
Waaaiit a second there, permission?You're suffering from delusions of paranoia. Take these pills. Then allow Koishi to hug you. Everything will be okay.
... Ya mean there'd be a scenario when you'd ALLOW her to hypnotize people... possibly against their will!?
MY MIND IS NO LONGER SAFE!
Excuse me doctor, but we need your help diffusing this atom bomb! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dB8wBr76Jg)Recollection [Hands of Asclepius]
(http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/7807/snapshot001ky.jpg):o
Here, let me assist you Doctor~I can still tell exactly what you're thinking, you know.
You're suffering from delusions of paranoia. Take these pills. Then allow Koishi to hug you. Everything will be okay.
Miss Komeiji, do you mind if I play with your sister for a while~?
Hmm~? You don't look too interesting~.
Hmm...this'll be easy~. What do you want~?
But...but I have a cool car! Isn't that interesting? :ohdear:
The doc says that you can solve my problem of being too perfect.
O- Okay... GRABBIN' PILLS!You are still traumatised by Francis's constant complaining. There is nothing I can do to help you.
... Tank... TANK! TAAANNKKK!!!!! *Starts swinging axe randomly*
So, um, the Lady said that I need to get one of those "free will" things and sent me here. I don't see why, but if she thinks it'll help me serve her, who am I to argue?You were abused as a child and came to accept that your own words have no power. I suggest positive affirmations.
Oh, ignore that Satokoi stuff you're seeing. Just a reflex reaction that I've got under control...I think. Or maybe not.If it's any comfort, I'm relatively sure that's considered a Heimlich maneuver in Bratislava.
oh god I've been turned into a hideous vermin after a night of unpleasant dreamsYou're still dreaming, given that you've walked into my clinic with your eyes closed. I suggest pinching yourself.
goddamnit I have to go to work in a few hours
This is getting boring Onee-chan~. I'm going out for a bit~.Do you promise not to violate the minds of random people on the street?
Do you promise not to violate the minds of random people on the street?
Aww...not even one~?Maybe if they agree to it. But no unwilling ones, I had to spend hours explaining after the last time you went loose.
My mind sometimes replay things that happened that did not go to my favor except this time... in my favor through my actions rather than by pure luck alone. Thus, it comes up as a regret that I feel I cannot let go.You have a rare disorder known as Betamaxitis. Swallow this CD and you should feel better.
How do I go about destroying said regrets and making my mind more shwalshy?
Doctor, I am way too honest and straightforward. I THINK YOU WOULD LOOK HOT IN ZETTAI RYOUIKI! Yeah, that. How can I stop blurting out the truth no matter what?I suggest you read the manga Liar Game in its entirety. It will teach you that good people lie as well and thus truth is not an inherent part of justice.
I suggest you read the manga Liar Game in its entirety. It will teach you that good people lie as well and thus truth is not an inherent part of justice.You mean, like, if somebody is freaking ugly, and he asks me how he looks, I, like, shouldn' tell him he is freaking ugly? Or does that depend on the quotient of his muscle mass by my muscle mass?
Can I you back to the outside world so we can use you to study mind reading?Before that, I'll need you to the whole Boundary.
There is a lot we can learn from a fully functioning member of your species. In fact, I could do some research on the spot. Do you have any qualms with having your skull opened? It's for science!Explain to me how 'skull opened' and 'fully functioning' can exist in the same paragraph.
You mean, like, if somebody is freaking ugly, and he asks me how he looks, I, like, shouldn' tell him he is freaking ugly? Or does that depend on the quotient of his muscle mass by my muscle mass?Effectively, sometimes the truth hurts, so yes in that lying on both those counts is wise.
Doctor, I also have issues with writer's block. How can I write in this state, even though I so desperately want to?Writer's Block is a tragic illness where your temporal lobe is held in place by a small layer of dead neural matter. The only cure is to beat your head against a wall until an idea comes to you.
Doctor, we're having a contest and no one participates yet. Can I just subject them to the guillotine?Understand that some of your contestants may have been going through a very difficult couple of weeks - we've seen Miss Ruro with her tragic case of Writer's Block, and there may be RL incidents in the case of other contestants that stopped them from writing for a long period of time.
Doctor, you do know we dated for two months, right?You're suffering from delusions. See Koishi when she gets back.
On a related note, during that time your sister pelted me with baseballs and bit me on the head during that time. Have you found a way to curb such behaviour?Wear a helmet.
Doctor, you missed the blatant logical error in my earlier request that I only noticed after stating it myself :VWhat? You mean you didn't mean to say that you would subject no one to the guillotine?
DOCTOR I CAN'T STOP GROWING FLOWERS IN MY BACKYARD AND SPEARING THOSE WHO TRY TO ATTACK THEM I THINK I'M TURNING INTO YUKA WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOOOO :ohdear:Calm down. You're perfectly fine, simply over-protective as a result of a bad relationship with your mother and a subconscious urge to be a better maternal figure than she was.
Doctor, the cat tried to dig up my strawberry plant....wait, the cat or the plant?
Should I beat it down with a fish, throw it at a random bystander, or spray it with water?
Doctor, the cat tried to dig up my strawberry plant.Spray the fish with water, throw it at the cat, then throw the cat/fish combo at a random bystander. Problem solved.
Should I beat it down with a fish, throw it at a random bystander, or spray it with water?
Spray the fish with water, throw it at the cat, then throw the cat/fish combo at a random bystander. Problem solved.Doctor, I highly object to abuse of my brethren!
I'd have said you have a problem with being indecisive, though now I'm not so sure.This sentence...
Doctor, I highly object to abuse of my brethren!Wait...`do`you`mean`the`cat,`the`fish,`or`the`bystander?`D:
Doctor, I highly object to abuse of my brethren!You have identity issues regarding your race. I suggest walking around in a swimsuit to appeal to your inner fish.
This sentence...My apologies, I didn't realise psychologists were not allowed to have a sense of humour.
Dr., are you perhaps projecting your own flaws onto other people in a subconscious act of denial?
Doctor, I don't know why I started to enjoy Ibuki Suika more and more. My ojousama told me it was fate of my heart. Help me doctor.Take this phone number for Alcoholics Anonymous.
Wait...`do`you`mean`the`cat,`the`fish,`or`the`bystander?`D:Never heard of the catfish-bystander, have you? :3
Never heard of the catfish-bystander, have you? :3(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d8/Channelcat.jpg/220px-Channelcat.jpg)
(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/d/d8/Channelcat.jpg/220px-Channelcat.jpg)I'm afraid you're insane. That looks nothing like a cat.
Awww, isn't he adorable? :3
Doctor, I don't know why I started to enjoy Ibuki Suika more and more. My ojousama told me it was fate of my heart. Help me doctor.
You're just a lolicon. Nothing to be worried about.Yeah, about that...did you have a younger sister you were overly protective of?
Yeah, about that...did you have a younger sister you were overly protective of?
spy's sappin mah sentry... :<Well, at least it wasn't your dispen- OHSHIT!
(http://i853.photobucket.com/albums/ab98/Twilight0402/freud.jpg)I'm afraid you have a grave case of alopecia.
Hello Doctor, I've heard you're using my research in your work. Mind telling me if there's anything wrong with me?
i've got a problem, docI'm sorry, you're talking to the wrong doctor. I am not, in fact, ze ?bermensch.
spy's sappin mah sentry... :<
Have you considered that you may be conflicted as to your gender? It certainly seems to apply to a large majority of this forum, at least.Thought about it. Decided that couldn't be the case, as I'd be just as pathetic as a girl :ohdear:
Hey Doc, I've been feeling overheated a lot recently, along with sleeping more than usual, something wrong with me?
Doctor! I find I have grown two extra arms while I slept. What course of action should I take?
The wings on my shoes have shrunk and now the moths won't eat my kidneys! When I shake my state capitol it only yields three fairy napkins but how!?
Doctor, I've developed the ability to obliterate snakes instantly within a mile radius on a whim. What can I do?
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) Don't. And tend to your text adventure, the good times will help you forget how to manifest such a terrible thing.
You're suffering from delusions. See Koishi when she gets back.
Is there a cure for insanity?
If so, how does one destroy said cure?
And that's another thing!
Why does anyone find my adventure appealing?
How does one go about reasonably obtaining a dimensional traveling space ship?
One champion must rise above all others and conquer the Multiverse, Gensokyo, and the darkest corners of the galaxy in the name of SCIENCE.
Doctor, I gave in to the temptation to put a Blingee-fied picture in a certain person?s avatar. Should I repent?
When you get back, I must know: How does one cure a van being driven through their front office?With an attorney's badge, a pointer finger, and chords of steel.
Hey Doc, I've been feeling overheated a lot recently, along with sleeping more than usual, something wrong with me?Ah, the ever-present Gundam Syndrome. Have you, perchance, spent a lot of time recently watching giant mecha anime? Your body is subconsciously trying to make you like your hot-blooded idols, explaining the heat, but you can't maintain that sort of manly presence all day, leading to the fatigue. I prescribe a marathon of Azumanga Daioh.
Thought about it. Decided that couldn't be the case, as I'd be just as pathetic as a girl :ohdear:Think harder. There's some sort of trauma in there that we need to unearth - if you don't agree with me now, you will six sessions down the line when your wallet starts to hurt.
Doctor! I find I have grown two extra arms while I slept. What course of action should I take?Have you ever considered a career as a professional Beatmania player?
The wings on my shoes have shrunk and now the moths won't eat my kidneys! When I shake my state capitol it only yields three fairy napkins but how!?You're beyond my capabilities. Take this codec, and call 140.85.
Doctor, I've developed the ability to obliterate snakes instantly within a mile radius on a whim. What can I do?Accept that your fear of betrayal is what gave you the power to destroy lying, deceitful snakes, and learn to trust people.
Is there a cure for insanity?Insanity is the disease.
If so, how does one destroy said cure?
And that's another thing!From what I've seen of this forum, there doesn't seem to be much in the world that doesn't appeal to someone.
Why does anyone find my adventure appealing?
How does one go about reasonably obtaining a dimensional traveling space ship?You are suffering from delusions of competence. Take this dunce's cap.
One champion must rise above all others and conquer the Multiverse, Gensokyo, and the darkest corners of the galaxy in the name of SCIENCE.
Doctor, I gave in to the temptation to put a Blingee-fied picture in a certain person?s avatar. Should I repent?You cannot appreciate good without embracing evil. I suggest you follow through and steal his van while you're in the mood for sinning.
what happened to Nanjo?Pseudonym. Most people don't take a psychologist seriously if she looks like a ten-year-old, but I'm now confident that this forum is an exception.
so what could it be then, unless Doc purvis is right.(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) You seem to be working under the presumption I am a liar. Tsk tsk, I say.
Yeeea, Doc you see, I actually haven't been watching mecha anime recently (excluding heroman cause it's more superhero than mecha and there isn't really that much hotblood in it), so what could it be then, unless Doc purvis is right.Have you had any dreams along the lines of you being a hot-blooded mecha pilot? If not, it's because you don't remember them.
Doctor, it is five in the morning and I'm waiting for steak and eggs at a diner with people. Yum. Why do I still feel tipsy?I'm not certain about this, but I've heard rumours that as ZUN grows more powerful he releases ethanol into the atmosphere. I suggest you stop breathing until the tipsiness fades.
Doctors, how would you diagnose a patient whom constantly refers to themselves in third person, despises the softer things in life, like cute things, and sunshine, while archiving the world's history in heiroglyphics made of bodily waste?You were a slave in a past life, brought up to believe you had no identity whatsoever. I suggest a girlfriend.
Doctor,Right now you are down and out, and feeling really crappy.latelyI've been getting enjoyment out of watching people squirm out of various situations (whether they're of my creation or not is completely irrelevant). Is this a bad thing? If so, how can I cure it? From this, I've been experiencing side effects from this including, but not limited to:
- Giggling like a schoolgirl
- Laughing like a
maniacLunatic- :smug:
- :V
You can't abandon your office while it's still open what is the meaning of this!
Jeeze what have I been thinking, Doc purvis is the only way to go, screw all this mind game crap.
/me gives Purvis the usual payment of a bowl of Gyuudon
I've became a fairy, isn't this awesome?But do you wear boots?
Right now you are down and out, and feeling really crappy.Well, if it makes you happy then I guess it's alright t-
And when I see how sad you are, it sorta makes me...happyyyyy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA)
Sorry, Baity,
human nature-ooo...
Right now you are down and out, and feeling really crappy.
And when I see how sad you are, it sorta makes me...happyyyyy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCQGQ5qBQTA)
Sorry, Baity, human nature, nothin' I can do, it's
SCHADENFREUDE!
Makin' me feel glad that I'm not you!
...And with that, I'll take my leave.
How do you quickly cure an advanced case of an office being set on fire?Declare that Cirno is not, in fact, the strongest.
I've became a fairy, isn't this awesome?It will stop being awesome as soon as your acid trip ends.
Doktor, ich glaube ich spreche eine andere Sprache als die meisten Leute hier. :ohdear:Ich schlage vor, mit der universellen Sprache der Mathematik.
...are you an impostor by any chance?I was referring to your nature, not mine. And as a satori, if I did not take pleasure at the misfortune of others, this power to read into people's hearts would have driven me quite insane.
Are Dr. Wily, Dr.Ah, I recognise those names. They're behind various well-known publications in psychology circles: respectively, How To Do Bad Things And Never Get Punished, How To Avoid Heart Attacks While Morbidly Obese, and Why Multi-Coloured Vitamins Are The World's Greatest Medicine.EggmanRobotnik, or Dr. Mario among your affiliates?
I've grown dog ears and a tail. What the hell?Do some research. Do you have a large fan following who took the canon's references to you as the dog of your master a little too literally? There is precedent, believe it or not.
Ich schlage vor, mit der universellen Sprache der Mathematik.
Ah, I recognise those names. They're behind various well-known publications in psychology circles: respectively, How To Do Bad Things And Never Get Punished, How To Avoid Heart Attacks While Morbidly Obese, and Why Multi-Coloured Vitamins Are The World's Greatest Medicine.In terms of ridicule and insanity, how do they compare to Dr. Freud?
By well-known, I of course mean 'universally ridiculed'. They're case studies into the minds of the clinically insane.
I have people after me! They... they're trying to inject pure moe into me! MY BODY IS THAT OF A MALE'S, MOE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!Tape a DVD set of TTGL to your chest. It will repel the moe.
What should I do!? Is this a result of pure paranoia or are they really after me!? GAAAHHH!!!
In terms of ridicule and insanity, how do they compare to Dr. Freud?How seriously can you take a co-worker who found his doctor's coat in a sewer while he was saving his princess girlfriend?
How seriously can you take a co-worker who found his doctor's coat in a sewer while he was saving his princess girlfriend?For journalistic balance, where in Hell did you find your attire?
Doctor, is it lupus?Actually, yes. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbZ7EpmaK_o)
For journalistic balance, where in Hell did you find your attire?...Ah, I see. You're with the tengu, aren't you.
...Ah, I see. You're with the tengu, aren't you.(Aha! I think I'm finally starting to piece everything together.
You have a severe case of poking-your-nose-where-it-doesn't-belongitis, and I suggest you leave the premises before I am forced to have Rin shovel you into the furnace with the rest of the corpses.
(Aha! I think I'm finally starting to piece everything together.(If you actually intend to follow this up, count me in.)
The two Doctors, where the axe came from, and why there's no blood on the Doc's frock... And when the picture's put together...
Dr. Komeiji, your next appointment is going to be with Justice!)To Be Continued...
Dr. Komeiji, is your sister real?Of course not. I've just been referring to her in order to test if you've been suffering from hallucinations. Congratulations, you pass.
Dr. Komeiji, is your sister real?
Of course not. I've just been referring to her in order to test if you've been suffering from hallucinations. Congratulations, you pass.
Onee-chan...I'm not...real...?Ssh, you're ruining my fun.
I have people after me! They... they're trying to inject pure moe into me! MY BODY IS THAT OF A MALE'S, MOE DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY!
What should I do!? Is this a result of pure paranoia or are they really after me!? GAAAHHH!!!
Doctor, I put a DVD of New Moon in my toaster. Will my toaster get hemorrhoids?No, but I recommend you burn it regardless.
Ooh, can I have some moe too?Certainly. (http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/Roukanken/moes.gif)
Certainly. (http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/Roukanken/moes.gif)
Now if you don't mind, I'm off to make contact with a high-ranking prosecutor in case that half-ghost comes back. Dr. Purvis, feel free to take over.
Doc, day and day out I've been finding myself trapped in a field of nothing but sunflowers. Did my girlfriend slip drugs into my coffee?
DOC! I broke my arm and because of it I can't walk to the hospital! WHAT SHOULD I DO!?
Doc, day and day out I've been finding myself trapped in a field of nothing but sunflowers. Did my girlfriend slip drugs into my coffee?You have an unhealthy obsession with Van Gogh. Take this collection of Damien Hurst works.
DOC! I broke my arm and because of it I can't walk to the hospital! WHAT SHOULD I DO!?Perhaps you should give up on that handstand and start walking with your legs like everyone else does.
I was referring to your nature, not mine. And as a satori, if I did not take pleasure at the misfortune of others, this power to read into people's hearts would have driven me quite insane.I'm pretty sure that you were definitely referring to your human nature there. Oh well, it doesn't matter, you need to be happy more than I do.
Doc, I can't sleep and Koishi's face is up against my window.Koishi, did you lose your pencil sharpener again?
She's trying to write on it with an unsharpened pencil.
Halp?
...I am yours to command, Satori. But only to a certain extent; I-it's not t-that I like you o-or an-a-anything like that...I'm afraid your nasal passages are dreadfully blocked up, from the sound of this. Swivel your head for me.
EDIT: Can I exterminate Solais?May I recommend the guillotine~?
My acid trip just ended and I'm still a fairy, and it's still awesome.And when I click my fingers, you will wake up.
I appear to be having trouble swiveling my head at the moment as it causes excruciating pain to my neck. However, I seem to be blushing for unknown reasons...I'm afraid you have meningitis. *clueless*
EDIT: Can I exterminate Solais?Only with Solais's consent.
You can try it Fishy, but fairies can resurrect, you know. :smug:I'll see you in R3 then~
I'm afraid you have meningitis. *clueless*/me faints from the shock
Doctor, doctor!Why, do you have an ailing sibling? I'm not qualified for house calls, unfortunately.
Can I take you home~? :3
/me faints from the shockOh dear. Rin, some work for you...
EDIT: Can I exterminate Solais?
You can try it Fishy, but fairies can resurrect, you know. :smug:Makes for endless fun, you know :smug:
Makes for endless fun, you know :smug:
D:
I'd rather blame Purvis. He gave me that avatar after all, else I wouldn't be doing this :V
But was it truly the avatar that's making you do this, or was it that it just made you realize your true intentions of anarchy?>:D
But was it truly the avatar that's making you do this, or was it that it just made you realize your true intentions of anarchy?
Are you insinuating Robespierre was an anarchist? He was a democratic soul through and through. Just, he had to teach France how to be democratic. With the guillotine!
Huh, when did I ever mention anarchy? Insolence, lead that mecha-lover to the guillotine at once!
taking out all of those that were in power, leaving no one to ruleWho said there wouldn't be new rulers~ >:D
So, Doctor, what do you gather about the situation of the participants in this debate? :VBesides that you're all sad, twisted individuals with an absurd love for sharp objects, I suspect this is merely a ruse to gain my attention. Behind each of usernames is the same person, and you are inciting an argument with yourself so that I will pay attention to you. I ask the question, then. Who are you, really?
Doc, I don't like DoDonPachi. What do I do :ohdear:You set your standards far too high. You should do something more withing your skill level - say, quantum physics.
Doctor! I am told not to do random tiger knees but I HAVE A NEED TO DO SO! HOW DO I DO THEM WHILE NOT DOING THEM!?If you had a need to put your hand in scalding water even when people told you not to do it, you wouldn't live long.
d- dyoktor! (http://dl.dropbox.com/u/4176466/yuakyun.MP3)Syounds fyne to mye so far.
i fail at myaking good music! :/ has my inspyiration source dried out?
...Why, yes. Sigmund Freud is my idol. How did you guess?
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) Yes. Send your victim enticing pictures and maybe read their stuff.
Koishi, did you lose your pencil sharpener again?
I will end you.This must be a very serious pandemic, as a very large proportion of my patients threaten me among these lines.
Hard to sleep when ya got a pencil sharpener right over you ya know? I mean ya never know when all the sudden you're about to sleep and then hear a loud GRNNNRRGGG grinding noise that those things make.Let your mind drift off into other thoughts. Imagine yourself as a woman. From what Koishi's been saying, your dream will come true by the time you wake up.
... DOCTOR! Is there a way to sleep past such noises!?
Is it normal for your girlfriend to have large, green spider claws and golden horns?Only for Erebus and Okashii.
...where am I?You're in a clinic, with the Doctor your Doctor could look like :V
Dockter, how can I make friends so that my existence doesn't go completely to waste ???I have a solution to this problem that never fails. It's green and made of paper.
What's in your hand? Back at me. It's a package, containing two tablets of that drug you love.
Look again. The tablets are now glasses!
Anything's possible when your Doctor smells like Old Hell and not a hobo.
I'm on a raven.
Unyu...can I stand up yet?
Quiet, Okuu. I already told you that we can't afford chairs in this office.
I have a solution to this problem that never fails. It's green and made of paper.
How can I possibly earn American dollars?Do you live on a Monopoly board?
How come I have to use American dollars instead of our money which is colored Purple and Orange?
Do you live on a Monopoly board?
No, but 60% or more inhabitants have the BRAIN of a monopoly board.Then the solution to your problem is purple and orange and made of paper, but not real money. You will make millions of friends before anyone figures it out!
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) I would recommend putting him into a bottle and drinking the contents when your hearts are low. Remember to shake well first!Noted.
Doctor, I tend to be either an insomniac or a person that sleeps 18 hours a day (and during lectures).You are possessed. I suggest visiting your local shrine maiden and requesting an exorcism.
Ho can I have a balanced sleeping schedule?
Also, what's it mean if you dream of your favorite Oni? :3It means a certain someone got Len drunk again.
Oh doctor, if an Oni uses his/her power of gathering, will they be able to gather attention?I'm sorry, you'll need to repeat that question. There was a word in there I didn't recognise...'his'?
And is it dangerous if an Oni gives herself boobs?Actually, breasts are a safety measure for the oni race. They act as a counterweight to stop falling backwards, and if they fall forwards they serve to cushion the impact. This is why Suika Ibuki is a wanted criminal for blatant ignorance of health and safety regulations.
Now, where were we? Ah yes, I had meningitis. Had. For some reason, I don't appear to be affected anymore, though there seems to be burns all over my body? What is the meaning of this?The virus responsible for your meningitis can't survive extreme heat, so I had you thrown into the Blazing Fires until you were cured. You're welcome, by the way.
Also...How do Gensokyans reproduce?They don't. They say there is a magical being in the sky that gets very very drunk before it produces Gensokyo's residents. They emerge fully grown and clothed, and almost all with some variety of silly hat.
So the girls don't magically grow male reproductive organs?
So the girls don't magically grow male reproductive organs?Only in your twisted, perverted dreams.
/me is smacked by SatoriDammit, Koishi, the LAST thing we want is that potion going public...
I'll be back later; becoming the 51st ranked assassin of the UAA.
Gaah! What does it mean when you dream of a giant gap opening up infront of ya and then a random blonde hair woman kidnappin' ya!?
... DOES IT MEAN I'LL FINALLY FIND THE DROIDS I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!?
Also why is it that I have the need to point out alliteration to myself every time I see it?
Marisa just gave me this potion recently~! I can test it if you wa-
Gaah! What does it mean when you dream of a giant gap opening up infront of ya and then a random blonde hair woman kidnappin' ya!?No, it means you're considering writing a self-insert fic. I prescribe daily beatings until you give up on the idea.
... DOES IT MEAN I'LL FINALLY FIND THE DROIDS I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!?
Also why is it that I have the need to point out alliteration to myself every time I see it?Absolute Attentive Alliteratosis is a severly scarring syndrome which is cured completely conveniently by devouring decomposing dictionaries.
Doc, just helping out a friend. No need to get violent. :VNo need, perhaps, but I believe you have delusions of grandeur and believe yourself untouchable. Allow me to bring you back down to earth...
No, it means you're considering writing a self-insert fic. I prescribe daily beatings until you give up on the idea.Heh Doc, shall I link the self-insert fic you wrote~ ? :3
Heh Doc, shall I link the self-insert fic you wrote~ ? :3That was intentionally bad and therefore doesn't count.
Now the grand question, Dockter.Science will never claim to know everything, child. I'm not omniscient.
What gender is Wriggle Nightbug?
Doctor, I'm sleepy.You have narcolepsy.
ドクター、私はバベルの魚食後の眠気を持って、どのように私はそれを修正できますか？あなたの耳のプル魚です。
あなたの耳のプル魚です。しかし、私は私の耳の中の魚を持っていない。
しかし、私は私の耳の中の魚を持っていない。バベルの魚はあなたの頭脳に入った。 あなたの疾患は不治である。
Doctor, when I opened my drawer I noticed all my underwear was gone. What would happen if I would serve in the SDM without bottoms?
Doctor, I keep saying random phrases out loud for no reason and they all have something to do with monitor lizards. I think something is wrong with me.I suggest you find the computer room. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEqnrgaTsw4)
Doctor, when I opened my drawer I noticed all my underwear was gone. What would happen if I would serve in the SDM without bottoms?I think I can safely say that you would fall behind in your work, and be reduced to guarding the rear entrance.
Doctor, when I opened my drawer I noticed all my underwear was gone. What would happen if I would serve in the SDM without bottoms?
Doctor! Doctor! There were 5 little monkeys jumpin' on the bed, one fell out and bumped his head!Please remember to tie a knot in your pyjamas.
Doctor doctor, give me the news! I've got a bad case of loving you!I'm afraid no pill is going to cure your ill. Rin, another one for the furnace.
Doc, I have a bad habit of murdering the hypotenuse. The local geometries are not pleased with my actions. What should I do?Have you considered a career change and becoming an equilateral triangle? No hypotenuse, no problem.
How do I eliminate the human need for sleep!? There must be a way so that I can do more unproductive things with my time!Take this adrenaline shot. It should keep you awake and active for the next week.
I mean, Torpedo has mastered this ability, WHY CAN'T I!?
Doctor Doctor! I think I'm a faggot! What should I do?Find some peas to be served alongside. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faggot_%28food%29)
Doctor Doctor! I found peas! Now what?Take a trip to Hakugyokurou. The rest will come naturally.
But I thought there was a border?Just fly over it.
I see a manly ghost. Wha do?Ask if he has a spare 't do I' to lend you.
I see a manly ghost. Wha do?> go north
Doctor! I won a massive car competition in which the characters are forced to use ballistic projectiles to destroy the other competitors. I've won, and I don't know what to wish for as my prize. Any advice?An application for the Witness Protection Program.
Hey doctor I think you're a sham.Are you wearing glasses? If you aren't wearing glasses you aren't smart enough for your opinion to matter.
But doctor, what if he/she IS wearing glasses?Then he wouldn't be saying something this foolish, would he?
Then he wouldn't be saying something this foolish, would he?
If you wear glasses you're not smart, but you has a bad eyesight, ShamDoc.I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my glasses.
What's your favorite food?I'm honestly not much of an eater - Rin does most of my cooking, but she never seems to tell me what exactly it's made from. Today's breakfast tasted slightly of lamprey...
jesus christ what kind of a monstrosity did I just draw help me doctorFreud says everything you need to know about your gential-shaped artwork. 'Fleshy 'n hard' is the icing on the cake.
What if I steal glasses and use them?Impressive critical thinking, child. Though the glasses have no meaning unless they are given to you by another doctor, I feel you are curious enough to deserve...a monocle.
What if I put them on or take them off mid-sentence?
What if I wear glasses on other places than my face?
What if I wear several pairs of glasses on top of each other?
I believe this trail of thought has to be pursued.
FOR SCIENCE!
Doctor, that is a very nice chair you have. May I have it?U-Unyu!
Doctor, I have a severe case of superiority complex and ambitions for absolute godlike power. What do you advise to make me more humble?
Doctor, I have a severe case of superiority complex and ambitions for absolute godlike power. What do you advise to make me more humble?I smell an epidemic.
How does one go disposing of a body of an adult African cyborg elephant? Preferably without garnering the attention of the local officials.Turn its remains into a functioning computer, then use that computer to contact Ebay and find a buyer. I hear that the Elephant range is all the rage nowadays, given that it's 100% guaranteed to never forget important data. You should make a nice profit.
Doctor, I have a severe case of superiority complex and ambitions for absolute godlike power. What do you advise to make me more humble?I prescribe a trip to the Total Perspective Vortex. (http://hitchhikers.wikia.com/wiki/Total_Perspective_Vortex)
Impressive critical thinking, child. Though the glasses have no meaning unless they are given to you by another doctor, I feel you are curious enough to deserve...a monocle.
Doc, i'm a compulsive liar.Dr. Pesco may be better equipped to deal with you.
Actually, I'm not. I was kidding you. It's all part of my job as a spy for the government. But you see, i'm actually spying on them, because i'm a double agent. Although in reality, I just spy on everyone regardless.
Dr. Pesco may be better equipped to deal with you.
I tried contacting him, but all I got was his cat's cat's cat.Take this card. It's entry into an underground to-the-death Mafia game. You'll definitely find him there.
By the way, I happen to be related to a rich nigerian banker. If you send me your social security number, bank account number, and personal information I can hook you up with a nice sum of cash. How does that sound?Does he wear glasses? This is important.
I tried contacting him, but all I got was his cat's cat's cat.
[1]Take this card. It's entry into an underground to-the-death Mafia game. You'll definitely find him there.
[2]Does he wear glasses? This is important.
This is unusual? Koishi told me that all the doctors above ground dressed like this.
...It appears I need to have a talk with her.
GIVE ME THE DIAMONDS SATORISorry, I only have a pair of tickets to that thing I love.
...What is this...? I don't even...just give me a minute to put some clothes on under this. I can tell some of you are thinking disgusting thoughts right now.
Is Rin still going to be half-naked?
Oh I have some pictures you might like from her being all n-
/me is smacked by Satori
Erm, how much do you want for those?
You don't look nice~.
Doctor, why are you barely wearing any cloths while on duty?
[nsfw]http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/450831/2girls-animal_ears-bespectacled-braid-cat_ears-cat[/nsfw]
What do you want for the pictures then?
best. doctor. ever.
Surprise me~.
Doctor, does a daily does of Melphorphiginiminin have side effects?Listed side-effects include headaches, nausea, dizziness, rashes, arrythmia, palpitations, cold sweats, bleeding from the eyes, bleeding from the nose, pain while urinating, lung failure, liver failure, kidney failure, strokes, heart attacks, aneurysms, and very mild symptoms of death.
Doctor, I turned neoserela into a strike witches character.[nsfw]http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/Roukanken/hurr.jpg[/nsfw]
Do I have problems?
Doctor, Doctor, I have the urge to kill our new president who was proclamated just now.Is there a grassy knoll nearby?
Just now.
Wha do?
Doctor Komeiji, I read a fapfic featuring you using your thought-reading powers online.It was really, really sexy.What do I do?
fapficAt first I thought this was merely a typing accident, but the "p" key is nowhere near the "n" key, which suggests that you really don't know how this word is spelled, in which case I advise you to visit professor Ran.
or you know, it could be just a NSFW fanfic that he did that thing too.
You fools! A monocle instantly makes him three times as intelligent as the lot of you!
Glasses have a much more minor effect. :V
(http://i516.photobucket.com/albums/u323/Gpop92/glasses.jpg)
Can I be doctor now~? Gpop has shown me how to inspect people very thoroughly~.
I dunno, a closed third eye probably makes a lousy stethoscope. :3It does. Can't hear shit.
I dunno, a closed third eye probably makes a lousy stethoscope. :3
Consider me more of a psychologist then~.
That likes penises a little too much~
:V
/me is smacked by GpopHitting girls isn't cool. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgGA-hHWxtA)
Now a monocle may make you 3 times smarter, but what if you have two?
Hitting girls isn't cool. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgGA-hHWxtA)
but what if the definition of accreditation is engraved onto it?
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) That would hardly count as a monocle.
Actually, it would. However, it would be very hard to see through due to the engraved description.
but what if the engraving is on the metal ring of the monocle, then you could use it as one and still learn from it.(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) In this case, you have far too much money to worrying about such things.
Doctor Komeiji, I read a fapfic featuring you using your thought-reading powers online.I suggest getting at least a hundred feet away from me, so you don't have to undergo any difficulty when the restraining order comes into effect.It was really, really sexy.What do I do?
I have your glasses, Doc, and you ain't gonna get them back.Recollection [Lament of the Short-Sighted].
Koishi, I'll let you take one patient. If you prove yourself worthy, I'll let you work alongside me. Otherwise...I'll be wanting that pair of glasses back.
Dr Komeiji, what's the cure for routing the power lines through the water lines? Oh, do be careful when you wash your hands.A new enforced dress code of rubber gloves.
Dr Komeiji, what's the cure for routing the power lines through the water lines? Oh, do be careful when you wash your hands.
Doctor! It seems the days of swords being the favorite melee weapon are dropping and axes are rising! How do I celebrate this joyous event!?By getting a few stat increases in Skill and hunting down a Hero Crest.
Nice try, Koishi, but electricity does not work that way. Next time you want to take over the business in a coup, do your research first.
Requesting permission to throw Koishi off of a cliff, doc. o7
Koishi can fly, smart guy.
Three As:
Anti. Aircraft. Artillery.
I suggest getting at least a hundred feet away from me, so you don't have to undergo any difficulty when the restraining order comes into effect.
/me accidentally trips on a small rock and splashes water all over SatoriYou tripped on yourself?!
Requesting permission to throw Koishi off of a cliff, doc. o7
/me throws cliff off Toast~
What a neat trick Gpop has shown me~.
Doc, lately I've been getting this urge to regard all creation fondly. Why should I do?
D.r Komeiji, there is a strange boy who claims to be a Satori standing right next to me. He says his name is Ezio, and he wishes to meet with your sister. I am being cautious for the moment, but I ask you, should I:Ezio? As in the assassin? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin%27s_Creed_II) Yes, I'd rather you kept him away from Koishi.
A: Send him to see you?
B: Violently murder him with this axe I am holding?
C: Accept the fact I've gone completely insane and therefore delusionally think there is a Satori boy standing next to me?
Oh~? What do you mean~? The bucket was full of piranhas, in fact there's one eating your third-eye right now~...Damn. Some days, I just can't see the wood for the trees.
You are past redemption!You are a hopeless hikkikomori. I prescribe a life.
* Arthas'd
Doc, lately I've been getting this urge to regard all creation fondly. Why should I do?Take this book on the world's most sadistic rulers. And this one on how people exploited ~*~the economy~*~ leading us into world debt. And this one about warfare in the third world, and this one on viruses...
Doctor I...Ah, a textbook case of what is known elsewhere as Hiithleja syndrome. Take this compilation of Batman comics and read one every night. Eventually, your mind will connect 'laughing like a maniac' with 'being beaten to a pulp by a man dressed as a bat' and the laughing will stop.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAAHHAAAAAHHAAAAAHHAAAAHHHAAAA!
(http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/2341/becklaughing.jpg) (http://img257.imageshack.us/i/becklaughing.jpg/)
Please help.
Doc, suddenly your texts are Red!You have Ushiromiya Syndrome. I suggest you visit your family's next reunion.
Oh~? What do you mean~? The bucket was full of piranhas, in fact there's one eating your third-eye right now~...
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) Koishi has climbed a few spots in the favorites list. I shall treat you to some Mulligan stew someday.
Ezri? As in the assassin? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassin%27s_Creed_II) Yes, I'd rather you kept him away from Keisha.
Doctor! Are Dr. Horrible, Dr. Insano, Dr. Evil, and Dr. Weird actual doctors?Horrible, Insano and Weird, yes. Dr. Evil...I'm not seeing any glasses there, so I'm going to have to say no.
Actually, I mean my OC, Ezri, gratuitously named after said assassin.Ah, I see. This is Oshi syndrome, where you become convinced that a character of your own creation actually exists. Don't worry, it's not that uncommon - I have another patient who thinks that I'm friends with a dolphin youkai on the surface and that Ran had four children of her own. Treatment is going...painfully.
I would like an answer quickly, as his rapier is at my back and he seems intent in ramming it in there.
Dr. Insano
Uh, Dr. Komeiji?It doesn't take a doctor to tell you that your computer is not in space.
My computer keeps telling me it's out of space. Is this true or is it just a manifestation of my psyche?
It doesn't take a doctor to tell you that your computer is not in space.unless your ip is lying
Uh, Dr. Komeiji?
My computer keeps telling me it's out of space. Is this true or is it just a manifestation of my psyche?
Then why don't you put your computer back in space~? It sure is lonely out there~.
Uh, Dr. Komeiji?Does your computer feel heavier than the day you bought it? If not, you still have space left.
My computer keeps telling me it's out of space. Is this true or is it just a manifestation of my psyche?
Doctor, I am dead.Immediately, death isn't a pressing symptom. Sometimes, it cures it self. If the lack of life continues for longer than three days, then perhaps it is more serious and should be discussed further.
I require assistance in finding a remedy for this.
(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/917/doctorportrait.png) Koishi has climbed a few spots in the favorites list. I shall treat you to some Mulligan stew someday.
Uh, Dr. Komeiji?
My computer keeps telling me it's out of space. Is this true or is it just a manifestation of my psyche?
Doctor, I appear to be wearing a Redshirt. Any way to avoid inevitable death?
Doctor, someone mentioned something about my Space Inventory. Should I open it?Ah, you misheard them. That's actually your Spays Inventory, and I would keep it shut for the sake of cleanliness.
Doctor, I appear to be wearing a Redshirt. Any way to avoid inevitable death?Request a crew shift onto the USS Voyager.
Doctor, I noticed Flandre-ojousama has developed interest in sculpting, how can I explain to her that she should use the sculpting tools and NOT her 'kyuu' powers.Point out to her that 'kyuu' sounds very similar to 九. She will stop out of an insistence that she isn't an idiot like that fairy outside.
Doctor, I noticed Flandre-ojousama has developed interest in sculpting, how can I explain to her that she should use the sculpting tools and NOT her 'kyuu' powers.