Maidens of the Kaleidoscope
~Beyond the Border~ => Daiyousei's Cold Storage => Topic started by: Hello Purvis on September 19, 2009, 06:49:52 AM
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But that's jus' fine an' dandy, on account of Ole Purvis bein' 'ere to help ye.
Yer first lesson on Pirates!
Piracy's an old, old craft. Tis been said piracy's about as old as people usin' logs t' get across rivers whilst carryin' goods. Ye'll find records o' piracy ag'in Rome, ye'll hear stories o' it from Greeks an' Phoenicians. And it's been a part o' Southeast Asia fer ages 'pon ages. I dun known Asia's piracy s'well, so ye'll forgive me, I'm hopin', if I gloss o'er it a bit. Tis a seperate tradition from western piracy anyhow.
When most folks think o' pirates, they think o' th' Caribbean. An' suren it was a good time to be on the account (That is, practicing piracy). But ye'll find as well there's a rich tradition o' it in th' Mediterranean as well. In particular, places like Malta an' (I'm thinkin') Cyprus have a long history o' piracy t' 'em. An' piracy played a true an' important role in th' Crusades; an' the centuries t' follow as Muslims an' Christians plundered each other. But, we're gonna focus on th' Caribbean pirate.
Th' Caribbean twas a natural place fer piracy t' sping up. Spain was happily killin' an' lootin' South America, so was Portugal. All that gold what they killed for had t' be shipped back home, an' the seas around th' caribbean were still wild an' unpatrolled. Tis only natural that freebooters would show up.
Yer early pirates were buccaneers. They got this name from boucan, a kind o' jerky they'd make. Buccaneers settled in on unclaimed islands (well, unclaimed by th' Europeans. Twere more than enough Caribbean folk on 'em). They'd make camps, hunt for food, an' generally live like settlers 'r rovin' bandits while on land. But a lot o th' time, they were out prowlin' fer ships t' take. Later on, as th' Caribbean twas settled an' built up, Buccaneers died off in favor o' a less survivalist style o' freebooter.
One o' th' big misconceptions about piracy is th' captain. Most folks thin' th' captain was th' tyrant o' the ship. Twas nothin' further than th' truth. Th' captain was first among equals. Ye gotta remember, most times pirates were former merchant sailors or navy men, where th' captain twas god an' emperor o' th' ship, as 'is power came from the crown or the company. An' that captain would use that power t' keep th' bottom line low. Sometimes, this would make th' crew mutiny. After disposin' o' the old captain, they'd pick a new captain, usually th' mutiny leader. This captain was a leader, but only durin' battle. Other times, he was just a man on th' ship. He could make plans, aye. But the crew had to agree to it. Often times, the ship would write up an article, delinatin' power and rights to th' crew. A crewman could well go into th' captain's cabin an' drink from th' captain's stock if well he wanted! But, this bein' said, usually th' captain twas given respect an' deference. S'long's 'e didn't 'is luck, pirates didnae have regular elections; they booted th' captain soon as enough of 'em got sick o' 'im.
Tis enough fer now. Later on, I'll tell ye about privateers and pirate towns.
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I'll always be a better privateer then you, son.
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Ye always were better at sniffin' after the Crown's arse, I'll tell ye that truly.
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I rescued my entire family, killed Blackbeard, and retired a judge on a small tropical island.
Am I pirate enough for ye?
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At least I have the zoggin Letter of Marque so I won't be punished for plundering.
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A mighty infermative article, Captain Purvis. Ye really got the Piratin' Spirit in ya.
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I rescued my entire family, killed Blackbeard, and retired a judge on a small tropical island.
Am I pirate enough for ye?
Tis true ye are a fine pirate, and I take my hat off to ye! Did ye find th' Incan Treasure?
At least I have the zoggin Letter of Marque so I won't be punished for plundering.
Tis a small man what fears punishment from half a world away. I'll just not get caught til I can retire well an' good on Nassau.
A mighty infermative article, Captain Purvis. Ye really got the Piratin' Spirit in ya.
Thank ye kindly.
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1 minute before 09/19/09...
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Let us meet in sea then landrat Purvis. And we shall see who of us is better at ruling the seas!
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I would take up yer challenge, but ye'd just take a longboat out on th' nearest loch an' think t' yerself t'was th' Baltic. I nary need t' starve waitin' on ye.
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1 minute before 09/19/09...
FFFFFFFFFFFF-
I did not realize that initially...
Also One Piece
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Does a zoggin' giant sword count as a plunderin' tool, ye mighty cap'n?
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All that generally matters is th' results.
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I would take up yer challenge, but ye'd just take a longboat out on th' nearest loch an' think t' yerself t'was th' Baltic. I nary need t' starve waitin' on ye.
If ye are to scared to meet me then say so! If ye will run then I will chase you down 'till the end of the world, because I loathe cowards like that King of us called Balkellende.
Does a zoggin' giant sword count as a plunderin' tool, ye mighty cap'n?
If ye want to join my crew then the answer is yes, my mighty comrade!
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Says th' lad who purchased 'is ship.
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Ye speak to much rat! Give yer coordinates, so that I will be able to sink yer puny ship in to the depths of the ocean.
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Tis a lot of talk from th' lad who thinks a sun sightin' tis what happens when th' rooster crows.
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Tis true ye are a fine pirate, and I take my hat off to ye! Did ye find th' Incan Treasure?
I don't remember. :(
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I think ye need to look at yourself a little moment my dear rat, It is really puny to think the rain is caused by crying angels.
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Pirate Kanye West
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Pirate Kanye West
Don't talk about crybabies like 'im, he should be keelhauled by his own crew.
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BELAY THIS CHATTER! Tis time fer th' men t' speak.
As Spain was makin' their fortune by legitimate means (that is, bloody conquest), many o' th' early pirates were French and English in nationality; wit' a nice smattering of Dutch fer good measure. There were Spanish pirates as well, but they were not as common due to making money off th' conquests, and because many pirates chose not t' prey upon their own nations. In time, France and England started to draw profit from their colonies, and more Spanish pirates entered into th' game. As far as the English pirates went, a disproportionate number o' 'em were Scottish and Welsh in origin; that is, poorer regions o' England. Not so sure if that held true among th' other nations, but I'd wager it so.
As pirates were in th' game for money, many were the time they would ignore th' laws o' conduct on th' sea. Pirates would often keep a variety of flags on hand, whatever they needed to get close t' their prey. Other times, they would take more elaborate measures; there are stories o' 'em having some o' th' lads wearin' dresses an' carryin' parasols t' make the prize ship thin' they were just carryin' colonists.
Pirates tended toward smaller, faster ships. Their goal twas t' get to th' prize as fast as possible, dodge th' cannons, an' board it. Cannons were used, at most t' soften th' prize up. Boardin' was the goal, not sinkin'. To assist in this, pirate ships tended toward large crews; more hands for fightin'. As such, ship life on a pirate vessle twas particularly cramped. Particularly effective or charismatic captains could well attract a small fleet o' ships; as well pirates would sometimes band t'gether t' hit a particularly rich prize.
Once a ship was taken, everything of value was up fer grabs. Cargo, personal possesions, food, drink, ye name it. As for the fate of th' crew, really it came down to th' individual captains an' what happened. Ideally, th' pirates want th' prize t' surrender wit'out a fight. Life's just easier that way. Smart pirates tried to be merciful toward prizes that surrendered; it encouraged future prizes who heard their name to surrender. As well, prizes that resisted were often brutalized; but a wise captain would leave enough behind to tell the tale of what happens when ye try an' fight back. Some captains were more inclined toward brutality, some toward civility. Other times, th' crew just did what they wanted; after months on th' sea there's a likely a lot of pent up anger and frustration to be taken out on th' prize. That is doubly so if th' pirates nation weren't on good terms wit' th' prize's nation. But overall, th' pirates preferred to have an easier time wit' more surrenders than fights.
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Ay, This got me to think, 'ow about we join forces companion Purvis, I will betray the VOC and we can go together after big ships.
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Oh gawd, not you, too, Purvis. Don't tell me you've also fallen for this asanine "yarr matey i be a pirate" nonsense.
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To that I say drown yerself in a chamberpot. Pirates are an important part o' history an' th' development of Western Civilization in North America, an' only a fool would say anythin' to th' contrary!
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I don't dispute it. The history is fascinating. It's the Long John Silvers' accent that gets me.
EDIT: Don't mean to threadshit. The history really is interesting.
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Ye still has answered my offer Purvis.
And yes, Tengukami ye will be keelhauled in about 5 minutes ya landrat.
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Oh gawd, not you, too, Purvis. Don't tell me you've also fallen for this asanine "yarr matey i be a pirate" nonsense.
he is th' one who started it
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Fer today, this be the most important thread around the seven seas.
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I don't dispute it. The history is fascinating. It's the Long John Silvers' accent that gets me.
EDIT: Don't mean to threadshit. The history really is interesting.
Nae war save fer a class war.
he is th' one who started it
I'm thinkin' th' Good Captain Drake I had a role as well.
Ye still has answered my offer Purvis.
Well...they say there be a fat fleet callin' port to Caracas...
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It is pirate day today mateys! RUM FOR EVERY SEARAT.
Ye still has answered my offer Purvis.
Well...they say there be a fat fleet callin' port to Caracas...
If ye want we will sail there together, like real pirates!
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Once a prize twas taken, it was good to be a pirate. Often this meant, as well as any money or goods they got, there would be more than enough food t' last them. And, more than enough drink.
If havin' booze on a ship sound a bit odd, ye must remember that water goes stagnant right fast when left t' sit. Alcohol, on th' other hand, lasts much longer. As such, ships often kept liquor an' mixed it wit' water to add some longevity t' th' latter. In particular, th' sugar plantations about th' Caribbean made rum cheap an' readily available. An' then there was th' captain's stock, which is where ye'd find th' real good stuff, a favored perk for th' freebooter who could normally ne'er afford it.
Anyways, after a plunder, it was time fer celebration; there'd be extra food, extra drink, and general merriment. But, not too much merriment, as the ship did still need to be able to function an' suchlike. When they set to shore at a port, all bets were off.
In contrast, life aboard a pirate vessel twas normally lousy. Ye tended t' have a lot o' people on th' ship t' start with. Chances are yer provisions were lousy an' yer cook even worse. Pirates often ate in th' dark, twas easier t' deal wit' th' wretched food that way. Tempers would get short, an' the ship's articles tended t' forbid fightin'. And bein' away from women didn't help neither. The crew twas usually willing to put up wit' it s'long's there were enough prizes t' keep 'em happy, or at least th' illusion of such on th' horizon. The captain's primary job was t' make sure that there were prizes, an' if not, they'd find someone who was able t' get 'em and maroon th' old captain. As well, even the best meanin' crew might well think twice about attackin' fellow countrymen after a couple months wit' no prizes.
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DO YE KNAW'? DO YE?!
I ATE THE TORRASK FER' BREKFAST AND HUNT THE CTUHLHU OR WHAD'EVA THE NEM BE FOR DEM' FOUL CREATURES AT SEA AND LAND' I KILL'D DEM' ALL LONG BEFORE YOU KNAW' YER PRIATES~~
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Yarr,Welcome aboard A-F. Lets go and conquer the Caribbean, matey!
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(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/2343/youareapirate.jpg)
Do what you want 'cause a pirate is free
YOU
ARE
A
PIRATE
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Yarr,Welcome aboard A-F. Lets go and conquer the Caribbean, matey!
Nyaa~onii-sama ecchi~~
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Yarr,Welcome aboard A-F. Lets go and conquer the Caribbean, matey!
Nyaa~onii-sama ecchi~~
Tha's capt'n Pako for you lad, behave yourself or else ya get keelhaul'd.
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(http://i294.photobucket.com/albums/mm114/Roukanken/vyse.jpg)
When do I show up in this story?
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Ninjas > Pirates
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Ninjas > Pirates
Seconding due to Bang Shishigami and Volfogg
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'ow about them old ninja-pirates mate?
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'ow about them old ninja-pirates mate?
trust me, they do not mix, and if they ever did, they would instantly die, at least that's what my theory on ninja-pirates are, same goes for pirate-ninjas.
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Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot.
Now shut up Anthony you have no idea about honor.
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Fuck that, clearly Escaped Convict Furyan Riddick > ALL
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Ninjas > Pirates
Ninjas = Pirates, scientifically proven
(http://www.halolz.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/09/pirate-equals-ninja.gif)
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ORLY?
(http://snarkerati.com/movie-news/files/2009/03/riddick.jpeg)
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So, shall we do some zoggin cowboy bashing mateys?
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Aye~
I'mma slap that skittish ninja into its' hide and send' them asailin' back to Davey Jones's locker
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I wonder if there's a "Talk Like A Ninja" day. Of course, if we did that, we'd have posts with nothing but "........" all day.
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I wonder if there's a "Talk Like A Ninja" day. Of course, if we did that, we'd have posts with nothing but "........" all day.
No mister, it would be like this: WATCH MY KAGEBUNSHIN NO JUTSU.
NO I DON'T READ NARUTO.
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I wonder if there's a "Talk Like A Ninja" day. Of course, if we did that, we'd have posts with nothing but "........" all day.
T'is be true, and a nice day to plunder, cause nobody'd be screaming. I hate t'screams over me hangovers.
Captain Purvis, t'is be a damn hist'ry class? I guess a few of them landlubbers could use a little ed'catin' how 't is out on th' seas. Rememb'r that the seatubs'll be leaving in th'ev'nin' though.
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I wonder if there's a "Talk Like A Ninja" day. Of course, if we did that, we'd have posts with nothing but "........" all day.
T'is be true, and a nice day to plunder, cause nobody'd be screaming. I hate t'screams over me hangovers.
Captain Purvis, t'is be a damn hist'ry class? I guess a few of them landlubbers could use a little ed'catin' how 't is out on th' seas. Rememb'r that the seatubs'll be leaving in th'ev'nin' though.
Bah, zoggin pirates, ye should join us, the privateers.
Also: Cowboys > Pirates
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Shepherds >> Cowboys
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Shepherds >> Cowboys
Freeman >> Shepard
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Robots uber alles~
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Dwarves > Robots
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Dwarves > Robots
Truth. (http://lparchive.org/LetsPlay/Boatmurdered/)
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Munchkins >> Dwarves
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Bah, zoggin pirates, ye should join us, the privateers.
A'm always open to new prof'table ent'rprises, good Captain Pako, but the good Captain Purv's needs ta make it sound good if he would want m't'join such 'n end'v'r.
Robots uber alles~
Gah, Ich sach dir, pass auf oder ich werd' mit'm Singen anfangen!
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leprechauns > Munchkins
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Smurfs >> Leprechauns
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Moomin > Smurfs~
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Aliens>everyone
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Halo>aleins.
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Doom>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Halo~
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Tardigrades >>> Doom
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Cave Story>Doom
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SRW > Both of 'em~
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Eventually, pirates would have tae settle down in port, if only to restock. And this when things got tense. Tis hard t' find a save haven as a pirate; piracy twas a hangin' crime (as were many in those days, little good as it did t' stop crime). An' given their robbin' o' th' rich merchants, people wit' power were all t' eager t' get 'em hanged or sunk. Not even pickin' on nationalities what weren't yer own was much a guarantee; if England's at peace with Holland, and ye raided Dutch ships, ye might get hanged just as a gesture o' good will.
But, fact o' th' matter is, pirates who set shore often had in their pockets a share o' plunder, an' months of bein' cooped up on a ship t' make 'em want t' spend it. As such, some places would turn a blind eye simply because it'd get money flowin' through. Others simply didn't feel like takin' th' time t' round up a bunch o' armed freebooters who were mostly gonna be leavin' anyhow. As such, where pirates were welcome, th'fun began. Many pirates would often burn through th' whole o' their wealth wenchin', drinkin', an' generally makin' arses o' themselves, til they were nigh on penniless and left mostly t' take t' th' seas again.
A few places became legendary as free ports fer pirates. In th' early days, there was Port Royale in Jamaica, which was all but overrun by pirates til 1692, when a devastatin' earth sank most o' it straight into th' sea (ye can bet th' then-vital Puritan sect had fun wit' that one). After that, New Providence in th' Bahamaes (Nassau these day) became th' major seat o' piracy, becomin' a huge tent city wit' pretty much no government an' one tavern fer every ten men. Then Woodes Rogers, a former pirate himself, was givin' governorship, and set himself t' cleanin' up by turnin' pirate int' pirate hunters. After that, Tortuga became th' main free port, but Piracy in th' Caribbean was windin' down by that point as th' treasure fleets became more scarce an' the navies got a better hold on th' area, causin' freebooters t' look more toward th' Indian Ocean.
Also, those of ye arguin' 'bout pirates vs ninja need t' keep a thing in mind. There really were pirates. Ninja are nary but folklore comin' from th' omnipresence o' informers in th' Tokugawa Shogunate. Mind you, that folklore does have some things t' be based on (like th' samurai o' Iga an' Koga), but ninja as highly trained clans o' assassins are naught but stories. But them Igan an' Kogan samurai were cooler anyhow.
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'Twere mighty fine lessons ya taught these landlovers, Captain Purvis. More than I would'a liked have pass'd through th' day without knowin' any o' ar orig'ns an' such; I tip me belt to ya. You've writt'n a fair bit mor' than I'd e'er hope ta.
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(http://img44.imageshack.us/img44/4436/scarletshipchipika.png)
Arrrr. There ought ta be more pirate pictures on yon Pixiv.
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Do what you want, ?cause a pirate is free,
YOU ARE A PIRATE!
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright to be,
Do what you want ?cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate! (http://www.cristgaming.com/pirate.swf)
(spoken)You are a pirate!
(crowd)Yay!
We've got us a map, (a map!)
To lead us to a hidden box,
That's all locked up with locks! (with locks!)
And buried deep away!
We'll dig up the box, (the box!)
We know it's full of precious booty!
Burst open the locks!
And then we'll say hooray!
(changes to electronic euro-pop crap music)
(girl's voice)Yar, har, fiddle di dee.
If you love to sail the sea,
You are a pirate!
(spoken)Weigh anchooor!
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright with me!
Do what you want '?cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
Arr yarr, ahoy and avast,
dinky-dink-dink-a-dinkadefast!
Hang the black flag
At the end of the mast!
You are a pirate!
Hahaha! (Yay!)
We're sailing away (set sail!),
Adventure awaits on every shore!
We set sail and explore (ya-har!)
And run and jump all day (Yay!)
We float on our boat (the boat!)
Until its time to drop the anchor,
Then hang up our coats (aye-aye!)
Until we sail again!
(girl's voice)Yar, har, fiddle di dee.
If you love to sail the sea,
You are a pirate!
Laaaand ho!
Yar har, fiddle di dee,
Being a pirate is alright with me!
Do what you want ?cause a pirate is free,
You are a pirate!
(spoken)Yar har, wind at your back, lads,
Wherever you go!
(singing)Blue sky above and blue ocean below,
You are a pirate!
(spoken)Hahahahaa!
You're a pirate!
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DO WHAT YOU WANT 'CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE, YOU ARE A PIRATE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4CI0QUuQcA#t=0m10s)
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Real pirates speak Somalian. (http://www.instantrimshot.com/)
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One o' th' little pitfalls o' bein' on th' account was th' lousy retirement plan. Piracy twas high crime, an' things like th' statutes o' limitations an' evidence law were...rough guidelines at best. If people thought ye were a pirate, ye better have some fine alibis an' no suspicious amounts of wealth. Mind you, there were some lads who were bright enough t' pull it off, and ye could do fine if ye had th' brains t' go somewhere where no one knows yer name. There's all sorts of legends about that sort of thing in seafarin' nations.
But, ye could take a Letter o' Marque an' becomin' a privateer. The Letter o' Marque tis essentially an' agreement t' with a nation to raid their enemies an' not them, as well often ye were obligated t' give th' crown a goodly share o' th' plunder. In turn, the captain an' 'is crew were tolerated in that country, at least enough t' avoid prison or th' noose.
Th' arrangement had a few problems. Chief among 'em was what t' do with privateers durin' times o' peace. As mentioned, when ye've been on th' high seas fer months, even yer own nation's ships look temptin'. As well, it would take months fer news o' treaties an' declarations o' war t' reach th' privateers; meaning they could well be brewin' th' next war jus' by not knowin' th' old one had ended. Another problem would be accountin' for what they did: th' country what they were privateerin' for would claim th' privateers were actin' on their own, while the country what th' privateers raided would have a view o' things ye could call a bit more dim. As well, pirates tended not to get on well with privateers, especially when th' age o' bounty hunting well an' truly began.
So while bein' a privateer gave ye a measure o' safety, nothin' was guaranteed. However, some privateers went on t' do well for themselves, such as Sir Francis Drake, who was knighted by Elizabeth I fer plunderin' th' Spanish Treasure Fleet. (This led Spain t' try to attack England with their Armada, an' permanently knocked Spain out o' controllin' th' seas.) Others like Woodes Rogers were given governorships (New Providence in his case). But, this depended on ye bein' a good enough pirate an' not gettin' killed in th' process. But in both their cases, the Crown was willin' t' overlook that both had also attacked English ships from time t' time.
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*hides in the shadows, waiting for his time to strike*
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*Kicks Donut out of the shadows*
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Let's show th' scoundrel som'manners. Ne'er off'd some'n that don't exist, 'fore.
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Something very few of you know about me is that I am a puzzle fanatic. I love jigsaw puzzles. And I have just broken out this puzzle:
(http://img242.imageshack.us/img242/5489/shipsahoy.jpg)
Already about halfway done. This puzzle is so badass. It's made of thin cork and it's irregular (not a jigsaw puzzle in that sense; the sides of each piece are serrated and don't interlock like normal ones do). Some of the pieces are shaped like wrenches, dolphins, stars, sheep, ANCHORS, you name it. This is so much fun~
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You like puzzles? If you ever come to visit then maybe you can help solve that 1000 piece puzzle that has been 40% finished for the past 3 months.
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This only proves how much you ninja fellers suck.
/me forces Donut off the plank.
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I love jigsaw puzzles SO VERY much, I make them all the time.
So many beautifull memories of the past, making puzzles with my grandmother, thinking about it makes me sad (she doesn't live anymore).
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This only proves how much you ninja fellers suck.
/me forces Donut off the plank.
/me falls off plank and disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving only a donut
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Looks like 'e went out inna puff o' logic.
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He went to make some Donut porno for all of us.
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yarr i be a pirate now k
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It takes all these pirates just to take care of one donut ninja? Tsk tsk....
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Pirates give me the ULTIMATE BONER
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Pirates give me the ULTIMATE BONER
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As well they should.