Maidens of the Kaleidoscope

~Hakurei Shrine~ => Touhou Addict Recovery Center => Topic started by: Cirnouli K. on June 28, 2016, 06:05:16 PM

Title: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on June 28, 2016, 06:05:16 PM
So, I had an incredibly dumb idea whilst browsing old internet memes; what if The Former Hakurei Miko, aka Sendai Hakurei no Miku, was Gensokyo's equivalent of Chuck Norris, ala Chuck Norris Jokes in style.

To start us off, here's a re-skinned joke.
'There are no Incidents in Gensokyo. Only a number of places Sendai's visited.'

Discuss? Also I hope this is the right place for this. Also, first topic!
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: andykhang on June 30, 2016, 01:32:27 PM
"You know why the Faires keep reviving? Sendai don't allowed them to die.."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: AzyWng on June 30, 2016, 01:36:09 PM
"Do you know why the Lunarians live on the moon? They're too scared of Sendai Hakurei no Miko."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on June 30, 2016, 02:53:05 PM
"You don't lose your power each time you die. Sendai Hakurei no Miko just takes back what she lends you."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Hello Purvis on June 30, 2016, 02:55:41 PM
Sendai Hakurei no Miko throws foo's hella far!

...Did I do this right?
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on June 30, 2016, 03:04:49 PM
Sendai Hakurei no Miko throws foo's hella far!

...Did I do this right?
Close enough, my friend.

Close enough.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: andykhang on July 01, 2016, 05:40:03 PM
Edited: "Do you know why all the strong youkai are girls? because Sendai ripped their balls off."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 01, 2016, 07:08:17 PM
"There are no straight girls in Gensokyo. Only a list of youkai Sendai hasn't *pi-chuun~!*ed yet."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 01, 2016, 07:20:07 PM
Yalls, seriously =[


Also: They use paper money in Gensokyo because the Sendai Hakurei no Miko wearin' all the gold around her neck!
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 01, 2016, 07:55:09 PM
Yalls, seriously =[


Also: They use paper money in Gensokyo because the Sendai Hakurei no Miko wearin' all the gold around her neck!
What, am I not allowed to say that kinda stuff?
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: the old guy on July 01, 2016, 07:57:23 PM
What, am I not allowed to say that kinda stuff?
Besides, everyone knows the only straight people in gensokyo are Junko and the Moon Bitches.
Also: The only reason why Sendai hasn't soon up as a boss yet is because ZUN is afraid she'll be impossible to defeat.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on July 02, 2016, 12:21:29 AM
"Once Komachi had a near-Sendai experience."

"There's no logic in Gensokyo; only statements that gets Sendai's pass."

"Sendai Hakurei no Miko built the shrine his mother was born in."

"Sendai Hakurei no Miko can break the Spellcard Rules... with her fists."

"Sendai Hakurei no Miko found out that nothing could kill her, so she tracked down nothing and killed it instead."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 02, 2016, 10:29:43 PM
I love all of these, keep 'em up guys!

"Mima (or Shinki) and Sendai once walked into a Human Village bar. The bar exploded, because the bar could not handle the sheer badassery of the both of them at the same time."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Tengukami on July 02, 2016, 10:34:56 PM
UNDER SENDAI'S BEARD IS ANOTHER FIST

wait no
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on July 03, 2016, 04:51:30 AM
Huh, lemme try.

"Satori once tried to read Sendai's mind, her brain got overloaded instead."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Hello Purvis on July 03, 2016, 08:48:27 AM
There are no buses in Gensokyo because they don't want to risk being seen as competition to the Sendai Hakurei no Miko's 1982 GMC Custom Van.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 03, 2016, 05:10:33 PM
It makes me happy to see people enjoying my dumb little concept. Thank you all! c:

"Sendai's breakfast consists of Reimu's donation money, fairies, and Remilia's Scarlet Meister spellcard."

"Sendai Hakurei no Miko doesn't shower. She just steps out into a rain of bullets and dirt falls off of her in fear."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Tengukami on July 03, 2016, 06:49:58 PM
Sendai Hakurei no Miko doesn't focus; she stares at the bullets until they slow down for her.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: TableCloth on July 03, 2016, 09:59:13 PM
Sendai Hakurei no Miko doesn't dodge dem bullets; the bullets never even get close to her in the first place.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Leon゠Helsing on July 04, 2016, 05:04:25 AM
Yuyuko once tried to invoke her power over death on Sendai Hakurei no Miko... Before realizing that you can't kill a legend.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Abraham Lincoln on July 04, 2016, 09:47:42 AM
Night battle!

...wait, wrong Sendai.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: PK on July 04, 2016, 10:38:09 AM
Flandre wasn't confined in the SDM for being a threat to others, she purposedly went into hiding from Sendai Hakurei no Miko.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Hannibal_Kills on July 04, 2016, 11:05:07 AM
RUMIA HIDES IN THE DARK BECAUSE SENDAI JUST GOT HER FLASHLIGHT.  :V
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: CenturyEgg on July 05, 2016, 05:39:29 AM

"Sendai Hakurei no Miko doesn't shower. She just steps out into a rain of bullets and dirt falls off of her in fear."

But friend. This implies the dirt fears bullets more than they fear Sendai
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 05, 2016, 02:46:22 PM
Dirt fears both; it just needs some more convincing.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Boomer on July 05, 2016, 03:51:17 PM
Utsuho wanted more power so that she could hope to be a match for Sendai Hakurei no Miko; she failed to even defeat Reimu.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 07, 2016, 06:27:51 PM
"SDM used to sit on a mountain. Sendai Hakurei no Miko needed a swimming pool. Henceforth, a lake was punched around the SDM."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: NekoNekoRex on July 07, 2016, 07:37:31 PM
The border doesn't exist to keep the outside out, it exists to keep Sendai Hakurei no Miko away from the rest of the world.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: andykhang on July 13, 2016, 03:27:57 PM
Sendai doesn't die, she just keep Death as her company and go on a vacation.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Tribow on July 13, 2016, 04:51:47 PM
When Sendai got hit by a bullet, the youkai she was fighting pichuun'd instead.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 13, 2016, 09:14:49 PM
Somewhat related, but I kinda wanna see either:
Sendai dressed as Chuck Norris, or,
Sendai doing Doomguy's 'RIP AND TEAR' pose.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: the old guy on July 13, 2016, 10:14:32 PM
Chuck Norris dressed as Sendai, or,
DoomGuy doing Sendai's 'RIP AND TEAR' pose.
Fixed.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Cirnouli K. on July 14, 2016, 04:32:00 AM
Fixed.
Oh yes, my mistake. Thank you!
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: andykhang on July 24, 2016, 10:03:04 AM
The shrine? It isn't used to be on the mountain.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: DeityDiz93 on July 24, 2016, 11:07:11 AM
"Youkai can recover from wounds otherwise fatal to humans only because Sendai Hakurei no Miko made them evolve that trait to survive."
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Mew seeker on August 04, 2016, 04:24:24 AM
I believe this is relevant to this topic. (https://youtu.be/I5trgSvUAGM)
For those who don't know about Miko, there she is in action. (https://youtu.be/_UJhJpWscF8)
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: MANoBadAssGar Jr. on August 04, 2016, 07:31:26 AM
Did you know why dragon god never show themself? because they still cowering in their room after a practice match with sendai.

Did you know why there's a time lag in gensokyo? because they didnt dare to move a microsecond when sendai say "5 more minute" in the morning.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: Suspicious person on August 04, 2016, 12:43:16 PM
Why do the Oni drown themselves in booze ? Because they are depressed over knowing they'll never be as strong as Sendai.
Title: Re: Sendai Hakurei no Miko: The Chuck Norris of Gensokyo?
Post by: andykhang on August 04, 2016, 04:01:33 PM
They said the world will end if Sendai fist bump herself... and that's how Big Bang were form.