I personally was more tipped off by "Wait a second there's not a single goddamn joke in this letter. There's no way this is real."
How's this?
FROM THE DESK OF DR JICK
MANAGER 11 BUGET AND PLANING
WEB FAX NO: 3723 334 1111
THE MANAGING DIRECTOR/CEO
WE ARE SENDIND THIS LETTER TO BASED ON THE INFORMATION GARTHERED FROM THE
FOREIGN TRADE OF THE LOATHING CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY.WE BELIEVE
THAT YOU WOULD BE IN THE POSITION TO HELP US IN OUR BID TO TRANSFER THE
SUM OF THIRTY ONE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED MEATS (31.5 MILLION M)INTO A FORIEGHN
ACCOUNT.
WE ARE MEMBERS OF THE SPECIAL COMMITTEE OF BUGET AND PLANING OF THE
MINISTRY OF FURDRAISING, THIS COMMITTEE IS SPECIALY CONCERNED WITH CONTRACT
APPRAISALS AND APROVAL OF CONTRACT IN ORDER OF PRIORITIES AS REGARDS
CAPITAL PROJECTS OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF LOATHING.WITH OUR POSITION WE
HAVE CAREFULLY SECURED THE SUM (31.5MILLION M) THIS AMOUNT WAS ACCUMULATED
THROUGH UNDELARED WINDFALL FROM THE SALE OF CRUDE MEAT DURING THE GOLF WAR.
*WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU IS TO PROVE A SAFE ACCOUNT WERE THIS FUND
TRANSFERRED SINCE GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BY OUR LAWS TO
OPERATE FORIEGHN ACCOUNT.
IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT TWO YEARS AGO A SIMILAR CONTRACT WAS
CARRIED OUT WITH ONE MR SKULL HEAD THE PRESIDENT OF SPECTRAL PICKEL FACTORY
INTERNATION TRADING COMPANY AT NUMBER 1337,EAST 23TH STREET 11TH FLOOR EL VIBRATO.WITH
TELEPHONE NUMBER 212 308 7788 AND VIBRATO NUMBER 64735 AFTER AGREEMENT
BETWEEN BOTH PARTNER WHICH HE WAS TO TAKE 5% THE MONEY WAS DULY
TRANSFERRED INTO HIS ACCOUNT TO BE DISAPPOINTED ON OUR ARRIVAL IN EL VIBRATO
AS WE WERE RELIABLY TOLD THAT MR SKULL HEAD WAS NO LONGER ON THAT
ADDRESS AND HIS TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER WAS REALLOCATED TO SOMEBODY ELSE THAT
IS HOW WE LOST THE SUM OF LOATHING$27.5 MILLION MAETS TO HIM.
THIS TIME AROUND WE NEED A MORE RELIABLE AND TRUST WORTHY PERSON OR A
REPUTABLE COMPANY TO DO BUSINESS WITH HENCE THIS LETTER TO YOU,SO IF YOU
CAN PROVE YOURSELF TO BE TRUSTED AND INTERESTED IN THIS DEAL THEN WE ARE
PREPARED TO DO BUSINESS WITH YOU.WHAT WE WANT FROM YOU IS THE ACCURANT
THAT YOU WILL LET US HAVE OUR OWN SHARE WHEN THIS FUND ($31.5MILLION MEATS)
FINALLY GETS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.
IF THIS SATISFIES YOU PLEASE FAX OR PHONE ONLY YOUR RESPONSE SO THAT WE
CAN ADVICE YOU ON THE MODALITIES OF THIS TRANSACTION.ALL MODALITIES OF THE
TRANSACTION HAS BEEN WORKED OUT AND ONCE STARTED WILL NOT TAKE MORE THAN
14 WORKING DAYS WITH THE ABSOLUTE SUPPORT OF ALL CONCERNED.THIS
TRANSACTION IS 100% RISK FREE.
IT MIGHT BE DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO GET THROUGH DUE TO MY CONTRIES POOR
TELECOMMUNICATION SYSTEM,ANYTIME YOU CALL AND YOU GET A BUSY SIGNAL PLEASE
KEEP ON TRYING YOU WILL DEFINITLY GET THROUGH.
PLEASE TREAT AS URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL.
YOURS FAITH FULLY
DR. JICK
*It's "Golf War" in the
original, too. I was tempted to change it to the Frat/Hippy war or the Cola Wars, but I thought "Golf War" was funny enough. BV