MarisaStory: A Certain Magical Internet

[Monarda]

Holy shit, Wolverine Sakuya! No wait, it`s just silverware. :V

>Check shopping list.
>Can you fly with the groceries ? And if so can you do it fast in order to get there faster ?

I was going to make a Pad joke here, but i like and respect Sakuya, so nope, i`ll let others do it.
(BTW that pic is missing Sakuya`s black strap with the knife on her left leg.)

[Third Eye Lem]

Holy shit, Wolverine Sakuya! No wait, it`s just silverware. :V

shame, she could have had the ability to heal her wounds by reversing time on them

>Check shopping list.

> As mentioned before, your Grocery List is complete, so the parser won't go into detail here. If the pic is any indication however...It seems the mistress and her sister were in the mood for some chili? A strange choice, maybe, but Flandre insisted upon it. Said the "spiciness might help with her upcoming game session."

> As for the Kourindou Shopping List however...

Code: [Select]

- replacement reader for the VCR
- a copy of "So You Want To Be A Wizard" by Diane Duane
- inkwell refills
- AA batteries
- pink and red spools of thread
- chalk, lots of it

>Can you fly with the groceries ? And if so can you do it fast in order to get there faster ?

> But of course. Much like a certain black-white witch, you carry a BAG OF HOLDING to make your shopping trips a lot easier. Saves you the trouble of teleporting back and forth repeatedly.

I was going to make a Pad joke here, but i like and respect Sakuya, so nope, i`ll let others do it.

Good, you just dodged a knife-shaped bullet. Can others do the same? :V

(BTW that pic is missing Sakuya`s black strap with the knife on her left leg.)

Good eye! I thought that was just a fanon add-on, but nope, it's canon according to her picture from EoSD. I guess the artist didn't feel like drawing it, or was lazy. Or both. (shrugs)

> _

[Monarda]

>Wonder how many times the VCR broke and why, did Flandre do it ?
>Fly to get to Korindou ASAP.
>Think about you and your relation with the other residents and "casual visitors" (Miss Lasers and Stars Borrowinger-ze).

[Third Eye Lem]

>Wonder how many times the VCR broke and why, did Flandre do it ?

> Flan only broke the VCR once, which was when the machine ate one of her favorite tapes. Upset, Flan kicked the VCR into a nearby wall, but thankfully it didn't completely destroy the console. Most of the time, the VCR failures can be attributed to lousy parts. At least they're cheap and relatively easy to come by.

>Think about you and your relation with the other residents and "casual visitors" (Miss Lasers and Stars Borrowinger-ze).

> You know Marisa well enough to speak with her, but you don't know her on a particularly close level (friendly or otherwise). However, it's a different story when she's inside the mansion. Marisa constantly keeps you on guard, but with your regular duties to the mansion and the Scarlets, it's difficult to keep track of the witch's location at any given moment. Besides, it's not like she's targeted anyone outside the library...And Marisa knows that she'd rather avoid a fight than pick one when she's doing a raid. You could easily stop Marisa if given the chance, but that's the thing--she's memorized your routine to a T and knows when to strike when you're at your busiest. That's how she was able to strike the last time Patchy's brother visited. What a pain...At least you're not scolded for it like Meiling always is.

> As for the rest of the residents...You see Remilia as a sort of motherly figure, since she was the one who took you into the mansion in the first place. Flan is more of that "crazy yet cool" aunt, she's since calmed down from her usual destructive antics and has focused a lot on playing video games and collecting toys. While you'd object to this, you respect the little sister's decision and keep your opinions to yourself. Patchy is more of a mentor to you than anything, since she teaches you when you're not busy doing your rounds. Koa's more like a fellow classmate to you in Patchy's "class," that sort of girl that seems to be ahead of the learning curve, and is very helpful when studying. Meiling is your co-worker and subordinate, and while you do smack her around a couple times for failing to do her job, you do so with a gentle hand and treat her with a lot more respect than your mistress gives her.

> The Three Fairies of Light are working at the mansion for some odd reason and you wish you didn't have to put up with their childish antics. It's like having three Cirnos in the house!

> Expanding a bit outside the mansion...Your thoughts turn to MONARDA KNOWLEDGE, Patchy's brother. Like Patchy, he is incredibly intelligent but suffers from a medical condition, in this case a weaker heart. He's very curt, gentleman-like, and a lot more patient when it comes to dealing with those less versed in magic, and...You'll admit, he is handsome. However, you never say it to him directly, he always blushes like a tomato when he's complemented on his looks. His magical skill is on par with Patchy's, though he tries to use low-powered spells when he can to avoid overtaxing his heart too much. After all, the brain needs blood as well...Also, much like Patchy he has a familiar of his own, a swordsman named Zakuro. You're not sure what species he is, though he claims to have fought in many battles in the underworld. Zakuro is a lot more...Loose than his owner is, and isn't afraid of cracking a joke or chiding his master for his mistakes. In a sense, he's very much like a male Koakuma, if Koa was particularly sarcastic that day.

> Near the lake, you are aware of Cirno, whom you've had the misfortune of dealing with in the past a couple times. She never. Stops. Talking. Such tomboyish behavior and foolish decision-making make you glad that you're working for a prim and proper lady like Remilia. There is also a mermaid by the name of Wakasagihime that lives in the lake itself, but you barely see her. Perhaps she's a noblewoman as well? You'd ask more about her past, but your duties and Waka-hime's timid nature keep you from exploring the lake on your free time.

> ...Ah, all this wondering about your neighbors has caused you to lose track of time! You'd better get a move on!

>Fly to get to Korindou ASAP.

> No need to fly, though you do use your flying ability to make great leaps across the town, being careful not to land on anyone by accident. Normally, people would call you out for this (or make a catcall at a potential upskirt shot), but it's getting dark out, so there aren't many people out. You do, however, spot one of SEKIBANKI'S heads roaming the town's streets.

> You land at Kourindou's front door. Since it's dusk, there are no customers crowding the entrance. You shouldn't have a problem getting in.

> _

[Monarda]

>Enter the shop and have a look around.
>Greet Rinnosuke if he's there and ask first about the VCR, the batteries and the Videotape.
>Why do we need the chalk and the spools of thread anyway ?

[Third Eye Lem]

>Why do we need the chalk and the spools of thread anyway ?

> Patchy uses the chalk for magic circles and her blackboard. It's cheap, but considering how often the fairies swipe it, it might as well be as expensive as kneaded erasers.
> You use the thread to mend the sisters' clothing in case it gets damaged. In fact, you act as SDM's seamstress in case someone's outfit gets damaged, though Patchy and Hong are capable of working a needle on their own.

>Enter the shop and have a look around.

> The bell dings as you step through the doorway. An old record player is playing The Ink Spots' "I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire," a song that you've taken a liking to for some reason.
> "Ah, just when I was about to close up early tonight..." Rinnosuke says as you enter. "You have the quirkiest timing ever, young lady."
> You take a moment to look around as Rinno unlocks the cash register for use again. You see a variety of knick-knacks, but for the sake of time you'll have to use the "EXAMINE" command to look at exactly what Rinnosuke has on display.

>Greet Rinnosuke if he's there and ask first about the VCR, the batteries and the Videotape.

> You smile and cut right to the chase--you need those VCR replacement parts and the batteries ASAP.
> "You sure you don't want that Laserdisc player instead? I could use the shelf space," Rinnosuke shortles, gesturing towards the massive device in the display window. "It still works, you know. I'll even throw in a copy of Cliffhanger for free!"

> _

[Monarda]

>How much money do we have ? Does Remilia give us a great pay so we can buy our own neat personal things ?
>"First things first, Rinnosuke, i'd like to get the VCR reader and the batteries before thinking about buying that, so please get them for me will you ?"
>Examine Laserdisc Player.
>Examine items in display and describe each.
>Examine Rinnosuke.
>Examine the store to make sure no Yukari troublemaker portals are present.
>Examine Parser
>A Laserdisc might be better that the VCR in quality but i'm pretty sure it's hard to come around, so if it breaks it's gonna be hard to get another one or parts for one. If it is too expensive, decline.

[Third Eye Lem]

The parser would like to preface this statement with two disclaimers:
-I'm using USD as the "universal" currency instead of yen, not out of disrespect for the Japanese yen, but it saves me the trouble of having to run to another tab to convert the value to another currency.
-I have no understanding of how prices are supposed to be set, so if anything seems BS-worthy, it probably is. :V Just remember it's only a game.

>Examine Parser

> YOU CANNOT COMPREHEND THE MIGHT OF THE PARSER'S EXISTENCE!

>How much money do we have ? Does Remilia give us a great pay so we can buy our own neat personal things ?

> Remi does pay you well, but you keep your paycheck cash separate from what you use to buy essentials. That being said, Remi gave you a surprisingly large amount this time around: after buying the groceries today, you have about $320 USD left over (produce is expensive these days). You wonder if Remi foresaw something like this and provided you the extra cash on purpose...?

>"First things first, Rinnosuke, i'd like to get the VCR reader and the batteries before thinking about buying that, so please get them for me will you ?"

> "Ah, of course," Rinnosuke says with a smile. "I haven't forgotten about that, give me a moment." He bends down to retrieve the items from under the counter.

>Examine the store to make sure no Yukari troublemaker portals are present.

> You stop time for a moment and take a look around. You spot a small portal in the back wall of the shop, but that's normal--Yukari has set up these small rifts for those who wish to connect to her private server. Rinnosuke normally avoids shady dealings with the gap demon, but in this case he made an exception. Being connected to the internet makes it easier to find goods, after all.

> Aside from the above, you don't see any other portals...However, you do notice what appear to be fine tears here and there around the store. They're not big enough to let anything through, but they give off a different aura from Yukari's gaps. Strange...You never saw a phenomenon like this before.

>Examine Rinnosuke.

> Rinnosuke is unchanged from his normal attire, but he has slightly more noticeable bags under his eyes. Thanks to the extra business from the recent Internet boom, he's been working a lot harder, but he's hired a few couriers to assist with deliveries. _{this is not at all inspired by or related at all to silverquest what're you talking about}

>Examine Laserdisc Player.

> It's a Pioneer V2600 model, according to the display sign. When Rinno last told you about this device, it was in working condition, and pretty well-kempt despite its age. The asking price is $150 USD, but you have a feeling you could push the price lower if you really wanted it.

>Examine items in display and describe each.

(heavy sigh) The parser feels for anyone who has to add flavor text to every single thing in an RPG...here goes something.

> You also take this time to look at the...

Code: [Select]

<ThirdEyeLem> @dice 1d10
<Keine-tan> ThirdEyeLem: 4

> ...Four other items on display. _whew!

> First up is a SELF-PLAYING CHESS SET. You're not entirely sure if this enchanted, possessed or what, but there is clearly some supernatural presence to it. The pieces are in decent shape, albeit a bit worn, and the board is intact. Everything is wrapped up in a nice, muhhhhhhhhHOGANY box. Rinnosuke has to put a restraining charm on it every few days to keep the box and the pieces from flying all over the place. It runs for $20 USD.

> Next up is a SWORD AND SHIELD SET THAT IS MUCH TOO SMALL FOR YOU. If anything, these weapons would be more suitable for one of the fairies...If they had the strength to lift these in the first place. Your PROTAGONIST SENSE tells you that the sword is a WORN SHORT SWORD +1, and boy does the "WORN" portion of it ring true. The sword has been through many battles, and is in desperate need of sharpening. The shield is a unique low-level TIGERFACE SHIELD, which...Has a tiger's face carved into the front. It too has seen its share of battles, but it's somehow in better shape than the sword is, it just needs to be buffed a bit. Since Rinno doesn't intend to get a good price from this set, it's all only selling for $10 USD.

> After that, we have a JAR OF YUUKA KAZAMI'S FEEL-GOOD HONEY. According to Rinnosuke, a few drops of this will cure most minor ailments--coughs, sniffles, itchiness, you name it. Pretty tasty considering the youkai who manufactures it. It only runs $4 USD.

> And last, but not least...We have, of all things...A DIAMOND SHOVEL. It's so shiny! It's so pristine! It's so...EXPENSIVE! $1500 USD for this gaudy thing? At least it'll never break!...Quickly.

>A Laserdisc might be better that the VCR in quality but i'm pretty sure it's hard to come around, so if it breaks it's gonna be hard to get another one or parts for one. If it is too expensive, decline.

> If you must, you can ask one of the Kappa to fix the Laserdisc player. Remi has a way of negotiating with others. Again, you can haggle the price down if you really want it.

> Your time stop wears off, and Rinnosuke returns with the box containing the VCR parts and batteries. "Here ya go," he says, putting the items on the table. "Does 25 sound like a good price for these items?"

> _

[Monarda]

>Ask the Parser his PAD..... NO! Not that kind of pad (??)....... ID Number
>Ask Hachi to use his Barter CO Power, get everything for Half Price, Profit !
>Consider If Patchouli would have use for the Self-Playing Chessboard.
>"Yes, i'll take it, i'll also take 2 jar of honey, and would you have an "So You Want To Be A Wizard" book here also, the one from Diane Duane ? "
> OOC:Tell the Parser that although Diamond is the hardest material known, it's hardly the toughest, as hitting a Diamond on certain angles would make it split if i'm right.
>Reflect your relationship with Rinnosuke, Marisa, Reimu, the other Mansion members, and the Fairy Maids that help out.
>Ship Rinnosuke with Were-Hakutaku Teacher Keine. Not even the Parser is powerful enough to counter facts.
>"... and also, that Diamond Shovel is a bit too expensive, maybe lower the price by 100 or 150, that ought to be more fair."

[Third Eye Lem]

> OOC:Tell the Parser that although Diamond is the hardest material known, it's hardly the toughest, as hitting a Diamond on certain angles would make it split if i'm right.

That is true, thank you for pointing that out.

>Ask the Parser his PAD..... NO! Not that kind of pad (??)....... ID Number

> ERROR: The Parser does not play Puzzles and Dragons, he's strictly a Brave Frontier player.

>Ask Hachi to use his Barter CO Power, get everything for Half Price, Profit !

> ERROR: Sakuya is not a military official, and therefor has no CO influence! Therefore, we can't ask a fictional video game character to haggle the prices down for us!

>Consider If Patchouli would have use for the Self-Playing Chessboard.

> Patchy does enjoy an occasional chess game, but with so many predictable states, she gets bored pretty fast. However, the three fairies might enjoy it, possibly as an aid for teaching problem solving. Even a child can learn some things.

>Reflect your relationship with Rinnosuke, Marisa, Reimu, the other Mansion members, and the Fairy Maids that help out.

> You and Rinnosuke are on good terms, though he always gets irked when you exercise some of the business savvy that Remilia taught you. It's always satisfying to see his brow furrow when that happens.

> As mentioned earlier, you're on good terms with Marisa when solving incidents, but when she attacks the mansion directly, it's another story. Reimu...You don't exactly get along with. She's far too uptight and serious, and talking with her is sometimes more of a hassle than it's worth unless you're both on a mission. Pick your poison indeed.

> You're on good terms with most of the mansion residents. Remi and Flan treat you as if you were family, Patchy is a good but strict teacher, Koa's polite (if a bit snarky at times), and Meiling makes mistakes but you respect her devotion and determination. The fairies always give you fits when they misbehave, but you know how to discipline them. This makes you wonder how you managed to put up with Remilia for so long...

>Ship Rinnosuke with Were-Hakutaku Teacher Keine. Not even the Parser is powerful enough to counter facts.

> If it's not on the wiki, it's not canon. :V Regardless, you think this is a cute ship, but you'll have to do more research to see if the two are legitimately compatible. You mentally mark this down on your RELATIONSHIP MATRIX as "Rinnosuke <> Keine."

>"Yes, i'll take it, i'll also take 2 jar of honey, and would you have an "So You Want To Be A Wizard" book here also, the one from Diane Duane ? "

> You snap back to reality, realizing that time is short. You decide to add a couple jars of honey to that order, as well as ask about the book.
> "Ah yes, the leftovers from Keine-san's book sale...I can sell it for 12 bucks," Rinno says. "As for the honey, I'll give you a discount on that--six bucks for both jars sounds fair, doesn't it?" he adds with a smile.
> FYI, if you were to buy everything in your imaginary cart, it'd cost $43 USD.

>"... and also, that Diamond Shovel is a bit too expensive, maybe lower the price by 100 or 150, that ought to be more fair."

> While you ponder the curcent price of the items, you suggest the shovel price drop to Rinnosuke. His eyebrow furrows ever so slightly while his smile still retains its shape. "I'll consider it," he says quickly.

> _

[Monarda]

It's always satisfying to see his brow furrow when that happens.

I'm not sadistic, just kinda masochistic, i have no desire to intimidate or hurt anyone whatsoever, even if it's funny. (Well, except Seiga Dreamcast, but that's totally justified !)

>"That seem fair, i'll also take the chessboard, that makes it 63 bucks total."
>Get all the (bought) goods.
>"Thank you, i'll see you next time the VCR breaks again, or if i change my mind on that Laser Disc, whichever comes."
>Return to Mansion.
>Consider Koakuma x Patchouli Relationship, are they in good terms or on a little unstable ground ?
>Give a jar to Rafael (Me) then fix 4th wall, food poisoning isn't fun.

[Third Eye Lem]

I'm not sadistic, just kinda masochistic, i have no desire to intimidate or hurt anyone whatsoever, even if it's funny. (Well, except Seiga Dreamcast, but that's totally justified !)

Well, keep in mind that these are Sakuya's thoughts, not the player's. The Parse does not see Rinno's torment as anything but a light jab, the only thing that's being hurt is his bank account (and let's be fair he's gonna make bank on that shovel no matter what price it is).

>Give a jar to Rafael (Me) then fix 4th wall, food poisoning isn't fun.

Sheesh, you too? I feel your pain, bro (though it's probably long since passed, sorry)

>"That seem fair, i'll also take the chessboard, that makes it 63 bucks total."
>Get all the (bought) goods.

> "R-Really? I was wondering when someone would buy that old thing..." Rinnosuke says with a sigh of relief. "Keeping an eye on that is like trying to maintain a flea circus. Allow me." He goes and gathers up the chess set, as well as all the items, and puts them in a cloth bag for you before ringing you up.
> OBTAINED BAG OF GOODS: OTHER! (total funds: $257 USD)

>"Thank you, i'll see you next time the VCR breaks again, or if i change my mind on that Laser Disc, whichever comes."

> Rinnosuke smiles as he hands you the GOODS, along with a RECEIPT FOR YOUR PURCHASE. "And thank you for your patronage. Tell the lady of the house I said good evening."

>Consider Koakuma x Patchouli Relationship, are they in good terms or on a little unstable ground ?

> It's about as stable as any sort of teacher-pupil relationship can be. Koa is quite loyal to Patchy, and while she can be mischievous, she is eager to learn and please her master...Even if it seems like the two don't get along. Then again, what relationship--romantic or otherwise--is perfect?
> ...Come to think of it, Patchy never really told anyone the purposes behind summoning Koa. Is she just a servant, or someone to fill in as a friend? Your attempts to get deeper into the issue have been met with a stoic replies and firm denials. You've already marked down this pairing on your RELATIONSHIP MATRIX as "Patchouli <Master-Underling> Koakuma." You're not sure if you want to press this issue or not...

>Return to Mansion.

> ...But you do realize you'll be in for it if you don't get back to the mansion soon! You bid farewell to Rinno again as you dash out of the store. The sun is barely peeking above the treeline as you leap to and across the rooftops, saving your spiritual energy for when you finally take flight over the Forest of Magic.

> The last of the sun reflects off of the Misty Lake as you soar over it. You're usually left alone at this time of day...The fairies that usually play with Cirno and Daiyousei have since fled to the woods.

Code: [Select]

<ThirdEyeLem> @dice 1d96
<Keine-tan> ThirdEyeLem: 21

> Tengu, however, are another story.

> "HIIIIII!" a dark-haired girl in a checkered print skirt comes up to you as you fly, brandishing one of those older flip phones. "Greetings, I'm Hatate Himekaidou of Kakashi Spirit News, care you spare an interview with me?" she asks with a big smile on her face.

> _

[Monarda]

Oh HELL NO! *Ahem* I mean...

>"Ummm, i`m kinda busy right now, and i`m running on a tight schedule, come by later."
>Use our Time-stopping power to GTFO just in case she tries to persist.
>Wonder why people abandoned this.
>Arrive at SDM if PESKY TENGU REPORTER hasn`t stopped us again.

[Nefer007]

The only reason I abandoned this is because I was running out of ideas.
It was starting to devolve into [==>]

[Third Eye Lem]

Oh HELL NO! *Ahem* I mean...

> Relax, at least it's not Aya.

>Wonder why people abandoned this.

The only reason I abandoned this is because I was running out of ideas.
It was starting to devolve into [==>]

Player's block? Eh, it happens. My hope is that once the new thread starts, it'll hopefully spark some interest, ze!

>"Ummm, i`m kinda busy right now, and i`m running on a tight schedule, come by later."

> "Really? Sheesh, talk about bad timing...Sorry about this, I'll contact you later," Hatate says apologetically. You assure her with a smile as you continue on your way.

>Arrive at SDM if PESKY TENGU REPORTER hasn`t stopped us again.

> You land at the SDM's Front Gate. Meiling is leaning up against the outer wall, snoozing peacefully. You recall that Meiling requested to take regular naps so she can stay more alert, and while you'd normally disapprove of such erroneous behavior, you understand it's for a good reason. It's probably best to let her sleep for now.

> _

[Monarda]

>Well then, allow the poor guard to take a nap, as long as it`s a short one.
>Can we open the gate without making a sound loud enough to wake her ? If so, do it.
>Enter !
>Are there any other tasks left for today ? Cooking  ? Cleaning ? Dishwashing ? Laundry ? Some random thing Remilia came with ?
>How much do the Fairy Maids contribute towards the mansion ? And are they troublesome or do they have some degree of discipline ?
>Okay, first things first, let`s go to the Library to find someone and leave the Chessboard for the Fairy Trio with them.
>Almost forgot, Check Inventory.

[Nefer007]

> Take Meling's hat and put it on backwards.

[Third Eye Lem]

> Parser: Get distracted.

> You just got Pokemon Red, Blue and Yellow the other day, as well as a New 3DS. You cannot resist the allure of such an awesome system, and proceed to play Pokemon Yellow for hours on end.
> ...
> THIS IS BORING! You decide to update MarisaStory instead.

>Well then, allow the poor guard to take a nap, as long as it`s a short one.

> You decide to let sleeping guards lie for now, Meiling deserves it. However...

> Take Meling's hat and put it on backwards.

> You get the sudden urge to try on Meiling's hat...But why would you do that? What if one of you has lice or something?! That's just plain nasty, yo!
> You instead settle for rotating Meiling's hat 180 degrees, as a sign that you came back safely while she was asleep.

>Can we open the gate without making a sound loud enough to wake her ? If so, do it.
>Enter !

> No need. There's a secret passage you can use that can only be seen while time has been stopped. You worked with Patchy to install a TEMPORAL DOOR on the outer wall of the mansion's grounds, allowing you to travel directly from the Gate to the Kitchen with ease. It's a carefully-guarded secret between the two of you, mainly because of a certain black-white witch you both happen to know. Others can access the gate, but they have to be holding hands with you to be able to share the time-stopping effect, and that takes a lot more energy to stop others than just yourself.

> Anyways, you stop time to open the gate and step through. You arrive in the Kitchen, which is just as immaculate as...You...Remember...It?
> WHO IN THE BLOODY HELL TRIED TO BAKE WHILE YOU WERE GONE?! The place is covered in eggs, flower and vanilla! Did those damn fairies try to make a cake? Egad, it's gonna take an eternity to clear this up!
> Siiiiiigh.

>Are there any other tasks left for today ? Cooking  ? Cleaning ? Dishwashing ? Laundry ? Some random thing Remilia came with ?

> Aside from the gargantuan mess you just walked in on, you have to cook a feast for some guests that're coming over later. From what you recall, they're relatives of the Scarlets. if you work fast, you might be able to clean up and finish cooking before the guests arrive.

>Almost forgot, Check Inventory.

> Despite using a BAG OF HOLDING like most of Gensokyo's Incident Solvers, you tend to travel light. You possess the following:
   * BAG OF GROCERIES (Key Item) -- This is all the food you purchased today, specifically for the aforementioned feast. How you managed to fit so many groceries into one paper bag without it tearing is one of your more elaborate space-time secrets.
   * SILVER KNIVES (Tool/Weapon) -- Your trusty set of all-purpose knives, for cutting food, people and other objects. You use these as the basis for your danmaku attacks.
   * VCR CASSETTE READER (Key Item) -- A replacement part for the VCR.
   * SO YOU WANT TO BE A WIZARD (Book) -- by Diane Duane. This is the first in Duane's "Young Wizards" series.
   * AA BATTERIES x16 (Power Source) -- KappaTech brand batteries. Always cheap, always reliable!
   * FEEL-GOOD HONEY x2 (Recovery/Food Item) -- Yuuka's decided to put her green thumb to good use and start making and selling honey. You're not sure why she decided to do this, but hey, anything to keep her happy! This honey will cure most minor ailments like a runny nose, cough, etc.
   * SELF-PLAYING CHESS SET (Misc. Item) -- An enchanted chess set whose pieces act on their own accord. The set is contained within a wooden box sealed by a paper talisman. You could open it and take a look inside, but that'd just cause all the pieces to scatter.

> ...Bloody hell, you forgot the Chalk, Thread and Ink Bottles in your haste. You'll have to go back to the Human Village first thing in the morning.

>How much do the Fairy Maids contribute towards the mansion ? And are they troublesome or do they have some degree of discipline ?

> The fairy maids as a whole are pretty obedient, if a bit clumsy at their jobs. The three Fairies of Light are the ones who are the troublemakers, and often convince the lesser fairies to misbehave. Regardless, you are only one maid, and you have to rely on the other maids to keep the Mansion in good condition. Good thing you're a patient leader!

>Okay, first things first, let`s go to the Library to find someone and leave the Chessboard for the Fairy Trio with them.

> You're gonna need an extra hand or six to clean up the kitchen anyways, so you may want to use the chessboard as incentive to get them to help you. With your powers to manipulate time and space, you can easily TELE-DASH around the mansion, and reach your destination quickly.

> *CLACK RATTLE ROLL*

> ...You hear something when you enter the Atrium. On the wooden floor, you see what appears to be a red 20-sided dice. The number 8 is facing upwards. Where did this come from, and who dropped it?

> _

[Monarda]

>Swipe the parser's Pokemon Blue Cartridge.
A D20..... Lem..... you're not adding RNG to this right ?
>Acquire D20 and inspect with caution, maybe it is a elaborate trap from Marisa.
>Star/Raf: Say sorry to parser again.
>Has any of the residents here been known to play tabletop games ?
>"Hello ?"
>What is the progress of Project "Help Flandre go Outside" aka teaching her how to not cause trouble out there ?
>Do we know anything about the internet and do we use it or own a PC ?
>Are we aware of Flandre's online activities ?
>Has Marisa ever come to the SDM to do something OTHER than "borrowing" books or getting that neat ass Coffee Machine ?
>Am i asking too many questions ?
>Okay, let's go find some certain fairies and prepare our inner Keine to make some Hard Lecture that will make the Sun cool down, the Moon to go dark and the Star to turn into a white dwarf.
>*Pant*One more, when you find them, show the Chessboard and tell them that if they clean up their mess, you'll give it as a reward.
>*Huff*......and ask about the dice.
>*Puff*........and watch out for the stairs. (We don't want Patchouli saying "I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS !"  to us.)

Whew... i feel like a Parser...... i like it.

[Third Eye Lem]

>Swipe the parser's Pokemon Blue Cartridge.

> Score! He has a Mew on his cart!

A D20..... Lem..... you're not adding RNG to this right ?

Oh ye of little faith...The RNG is an ever present force, like YouTube ads or free-to-play mobile games. _{besides I used a dice roller at least once I'm surprised you didn't notice that}

>Acquire D20 and inspect with caution, maybe it is a elaborate trap from Marisa.

> It's a regular, run of the mill d20. Red body, white numbers, surprisingly pristine condition. You sense no unusual forces emitting from it.

>Star/Raf: Say sorry to parser again.

> You're forgiven.

>Has any of the residents here been known to play tabletop games ?

> The Knowledges, Koa and Flan enjoy some of them. Remi thinks they're a waste of time, and Meiling is too busy guarding the mansion to really participate in such things. The problem is organizing a campaign, as most of the players who want to join are too busy to do so.

>"Hello ?"

> There's no response. This is most disconcerting...However, it's not cause for alarm. Due to the magic you worked on the SDM, and the nature of Gensokyo's border, items sometimes drop into the mansion. It's rare, but it has happened.

>What is the progress of Project "Help Flandre go Outside" aka teaching her how to not cause trouble out there ?

> It...Hasn't gone that well. The few times that Flandre was allowed outside, weird things happened. That's not to say she hasn't improved socially...

>Are we aware of Flandre's online activities ?

> Flandre was one of the first residents to get a PC, along with her sister. So far, it seems to have upped her spirits a bit, she's a lot more sociable around the mansion and a lot less prone to smashing or blowing things up in a fit of rage. Unfortunately, she seems to be a bit unaware of how to handle the seedier aspects of it, so you and Remi have had to enable Parental Settings on her computer to keep Flan and her data safe.

>Do we know anything about the internet and do we use it or own a PC ?

> Yes to all of the above! It was almost an insistence on Remi's part, once she realized how lucrative trading and shopping on the net can be. You own a PC as well, but you don't use it as often, aside from studies and web browsing. You did get hooked on this one game involving baking cookies, however...

>Has Marisa ever come to the SDM to do something OTHER than "borrowing" books or getting that neat ass Coffee Machine ?

> She did visit that one time you all went to the moon together...Or when she sought you out to pick a fight during a couple of incidents.
> As for the coffee machine...Marisa hasn't had much luck with that. The legendary COFFEELITH is a magical mocha marvel, capable of extracting flavor from the coffee grounds on an atomic level. The result is the purest, most decadent coffee you'll ever taste...You got this as a gift for Remilia and the others, but they rarely use it because the filters are so expensive to replace. Marisa can't steal it because it's too heavy, and she can't even sneak a cup of coffee; making even one cup causes so much noise and magical fallout that it'd alert everyone in the mansion.

>Am i asking too many questions ?

> The only wrong number of questions to ask is zero.

>Okay, let's go find some certain fairies and prepare our inner Keine to make some Hard Lecture that will make the Sun cool down, the Moon to go dark and the Star to turn into a white dwarf.

> You pocket the d20 for now and go to seek out the fairies. You check the Library first, since they spend most of their time there. You spot Zakuro sleeping on the couch while Koakuma is helping Patchouli and Monarda with another magical experiment. You spot the fairies floating around in the upper levels, and go to speak with them.

> "...And that's why ladybugs are so powerful! Not even a dinosaur could--OH! Sakuya-sama!" Sunny says, greeting you. However, her smile fades when she sees the stern look on your face. "Something wrong?"

> You tell the girls of the mess in the kitchen, and their faces go white. They then babble a bit about why they did what they did, until you silence them and ask them to speak one at a time in turn. It turns out that the fairies trapped and executed a wild Yukkuri that snuck into the mansion, and thought it'd be a good idea make a cake out of its filling. Unfortunately, they messed up badly and were looking for a magic spell in the library to undo the damage. You can tell them they can undo the damage the old fashioned-way, with elbow grease. You need the kitchen ASAP!

>*Pant*One more, when you find them, show the Chessboard and tell them that if they clean up their mess, you'll give it as a reward.

> The Fairies are too scared to do their job, since they're afraid they won't finish in time for the feast. You sweeten the deal with the SELF-PLAY CHESS SET, saying it will be theirs if they succeed.
> "...HUDDLE!" Luna Child shouts as the girls chatter amongst themselves briefly. Eventually, they desperse, and Luna says "Ok, we'll do it. But we'll need your help too."
> Of course, you respond. You wouldn't be much of a maid if you didn't help clean up, even if it's someone else's mess.

>*Huff*......and ask about the dice.

> While heading back to the kitchen, you ask the fairies about the d20.
> "Never saw saw that before," Star responds. "You sure it doesn't belong to someone else?"

>*Puff*........and watch out for the stairs. (We don't want Patchouli saying "I TOLD YOU ABOUT THE STAIRS !"  to us.)

> You know this house like the back of your hand, there's no way you could possibly take a tumble down a staircase!

Whew... i feel like a Parser...... i like it.

Embrace the power. Make your own thread and make your story a reality! _{or die trying}

> _

[Monarda]

Embrace the power. Make your own thread and make your story a reality! _{or die trying}

And from the depths of his mind, a small inspiration of a Party Quest starts to grow at the side of his also small own fanfic story, he shall name thee.... FlandreStory ! No, that's kinda stealing ideas.... Flandre Quest ! Nope, too generic.... FlandreTale ? Nah, too close to Undertale.... Ugu, being original is hard. I'll just go with FlandreStory, not original, but i'm happy with it.

And i noticed the roll for the items to be displayed, i just thought that now i'd have to roll everytime i did something. Not that i would complain, i am a player of FE and RtD, as much as i hate RNG, i can't stay away from the suffering and pleasure it brings.

> Yes ! New members recruited for the party !
>Have our new partymembers come with us to the Kitchen, and get cleaning materials on the way there.
>Give them brooms, soap, buckets, and anything more they might need.
>Get our own asses to work hard, maybe mop the floor or something.
>"Keep cleaning, or else we'll be in trouble."
>Finish the cleaning and proceed to cooking.
>What are we going to cook anyways ?
>Go take a quick look at Patchouli, Monarda and familiars using teledashes.
>Scare Monarda and Patchouli with our timestopping powers.
>Go back to kitchen.

[Third Eye Lem]

And from the depths of his mind, a small inspiration of a Party Quest starts to grow at the side of his also small own fanfic story, he shall name thee.... FlandreStory ! No, that's kinda stealing ideas.... Flandre Quest ! Nope, too generic.... FlandreTale ? Nah, too close to Undertale.... Ugu, being original is hard. I'll just go with FlandreStory, not original, but i'm happy with it.

Considering how MarisaStory was inspired by a certain 2D MMORPG, I don't think anyone would fault you calling your story "FlandreTale" as long as you can make it interesting.

And i noticed the roll for the items to be displayed, i just thought that now i'd have to roll everytime i did something. Not that i would complain, i am a player of FE and RtD, as much as i hate RNG, i can't stay away from the suffering and pleasure it brings.

Dice are like booster packs, you may get useless commons but you'll always get something interesting! _{unless you're looking for rares}

> Yes ! New members recruited for the party !

> SUNNY MILK, STAR SAPPHIRE and LUNA CHILD have joined your party as guest characters. They will follow your orders for the most part, but you cannot give them direct commands.

>Have our new partymembers come with us to the Kitchen, and get cleaning materials on the way there.
>Give them brooms, soap, buckets, and anything more they might need.

> You pass by one of the many convenient supply closets in the mansion and outfit yourself and the fairies with cleaning supplies. The parser won't go into specifics for the sake of time, but you end up carrying quite a bit of stuff in your Bag of Holding--this is going to be a big job and you'll need all the ordinance you can get. _{now I'm reminded of Dustforce all of a sudden}

> Once you arrive in the kitchen, you spot a rather...Unusual entity licking up some sugar off the floor. It perks up at your presence, lets out a startled "CHEEEEN!" and darts out an open window. How a creature like that managed to get inside despite having no legs is a mystery to you.

>Get our own asses to work hard, maybe mop the floor or something.
>"Keep cleaning, or else we'll be in trouble."

> You ask the fairies to clean up the higher reaches of the kitchen while you clean up the floor. Out of curiosity, you ask why the fairies tried to make a cake in the first place.
> "There's that feast tonight, right?" Star replies. "We thought it'd be nice to make dessert..."
> Hmmm...Dessert...You never considered that until now. You say you'll keep it in mind, but for now, you ask the fairies to stay focused on the cleaning.
> "Hai!" the fairies eagerly reply. They may be troublemakers, but at least they're trying to be helpful!

>What are we going to cook anyways ?
>Finish the cleaning and proceed to cooking.

> You recall that the guest of honor, Richard Bloodwood, is a huge fan of curry. So you decided to turn tonight's dinner into a Curry Showcase. Spicy, Savory, Exotic, you name it, you'll make it. Why else did you buy so much meat, veggies and spices over the past few days? Come to think of it, you might have bought a bit too much...Oh well. At least you won't run short when the time for the feast comes!

> Speaking of time...To ensure the four of you get done in less than an hour as opposed to three hours, you use a Spell Card to activate TIME DIALATION--in other words, for every minute that passes inside the kitchen, only a few seconds pass in the rest of the world. The only problem is that it requires a lot of spiritual power to activate for prolonged periods, so your time powers will be weakened until it recharges. Thankfully, you'll have plenty of time to settle down and catch your breath during the feast.

> It takes a while, but you manage to clean enough of the kitchen to start preparing dinner. While the fairies clean up what's left, you start on the curry and a few side dishes. Eventually, the fairies finish as well.

> "Ok...We're...Done!" Luna says, huffing. Sunny just smiles widely.
> "What's next on the agenda, boss lady?" Sunny asks.
> You smile at them and say now would be a good time to start working on the cake. Red Velvet should do nicely, you suggest.
> "Why am I not surprised..." Luna says, rolling her eyes. Star elbows her. "What! It's always red with these vampires! Non-stop red! Why not make a blue cake or a purple cake or a green one?!"
> "Green doesn't sound very appetizing...Let's get to work," Star says with a bit of urgency.

> TIME PASSES...

>Go take a quick look at Patchouli, Monarda and familiars using teledashes.
>Scare Monarda and Patchouli with our timestopping powers.
>Go back to kitchen.

> You manage to get to the point where you can let the curries stew for a bit unattended, but you ask Star to watch them just in case something happens. Sunny and Luna are in charge of the cake still; Luna's making the frosting while Sunny's baking the individual layers. You take advantage of this downtime to check in on the mages and see how their project is--

> KABOOM!

> ...Doing. You arrive at the library to find that Patchy's Magicomputer has exploded! Koa's rushing to snuff out the fires from the destroyed case before they spread.
> "...Mukyuuuuu, that was way too much for it to render..." Patchy gags, her face charred from the explosion. "Now I have to build a new one...
> "G-Good thing I'm here, then..." Monarda says, clutching his heart, trying to keep a straight face.
> "You gonna be ok?" Koa asks once the flames are smothered.
> "Just give a moment to breathe," Monarda gasps as he gets away from the central table. He takes a look at Zakuro, whom is still asleep. "Tch...He'd sleep through an air raid if he felt like it..."

> Perhaps now's not the best time to interact with the library staff right now...You are about to make haste back to the Kitchen when your cellphone vibrates. Yes, you and the other SDM Residents have cellphones. Whom could it be?

> _

[Monarda]

OMG so cute, thank you Lem. I must have a plushie to hug. ♡ Ehm, sorry, anyways.

>What does Patchouli use (or used) the magicomputer to ?
>What do we know about Monarda and his Familiar ? Other than the obvious stuff.
>Answer the cellphone, put away if it's some sort of telemarketing.
>"Yes, this is Sakuya, who is it ?"
>Use the dice to become the RNG Goddess with time powers.

Well ok then, now i must read more lore. Oh wait, exams, nevermind.
0 x Chain Combo.

[Nefer007]

Holy crap, a direct link to NoLegs? My faith in humanity has been restored!

Kinda.

Somewhat.

[Third Eye Lem]

Holy crap, a direct link to NoLegs? My faith in humanity has been restored!

THE DEMON HAS BEEN DESTROYED--wait.

OMG so cute, thank you Lem. I must have a plushie to hug. ♡ Ehm, sorry, anyways.

ALL GLORY TO THE LEGLESS CAT! =3

>Answer the cellphone, put away if it's some sort of telemarketing.
>"Yes, this is Sakuya, who is it ?"

> It's actually a text message from Flan.

Code: [Select]

Starbroker495 said: I'm bored. Wanna play a game later?


>What does Patchouli use (or used) the magicomputer to ?

> She does it for intense spell crafting and research. Right now she's been working with Monarda to figure out how solidify magical energy.

>What do we know about Monarda and his Familiar ? Other than the obvious stuff.

> Monarda Knowledge is a magical teacher much like Patchy is, but he's a bit more sociable and friendly than his sister is. However, he tries not to get too excited or worked up due to his weak heart. You're not sure what Monarda does in the outside world, he doesn't talk his non-teaching activities much.
> Zakuro you don't know much about. You can't even tell if he's a youkai or not, but he does have a similar aura to that of Koakuma. You haven't been able to squeeze any information about Zak's past either.

>Use the dice to become the RNG Goddess with time powers.

> And just how would you go about doing that anyways? :V

Well ok then, now i must read more lore. Oh wait, exams, nevermind.
0 x Chain Combo.

Late, but good luck!

> _

[Monarda]

>Type in:"What kind of game ? Will it give me brain tumors ?"
>Why don't we have a pet yukkuri ?
>Do we know why we recruited the pesk trio here ?
>Go back to the kitchen and see if everything is done.

> And just how would you go about doing that anyways? :V
Late, but good luck!

>By fusing the randomness element of the dice with our manipulation of time and space, then holding the D20 firmly to morph.
>Thanks ! I already did both, quite exhausting to say the least, 9 hours of time were spent on that.

[Third Eye Lem]

Apologies for the lack of updates this past week, personal problems arose and my brilliant intellect thought the best remedy for those would be to play Disgaea 3 for Vita non-stop. Clearly, this parser needs therapy.

>By fusing the randomness element of the dice with our manipulation of time and space, then holding the D20 firmly to morph.
>Thanks ! I already did both, quite exhausting to say the least, 9 hours of time were spent on that.

> So you've become a Magical Girl? :V Either way, hope you did well.

>Why don't we have a pet yukkuri ?

> Despite their cute appearance, Yukkuri are quite the trouble-makers and Remi won't stand to have them in the house. She's given you and the others permission to exterminate and/or devour any that dare invade the house. Flan takes great care in trying to catch them alive, if only to eat the delicious fiilling afterwards. _{disclaimer: the parser does not condone yukkuri abuse, their portrayal and use here is strictly for comedic and story-driven purposes}

>Do we know why we recruited the pesk trio here ?

> We didn't really have a hand in their recruitment, Patchy did. The Fairies got bored one day and started visiting the library out of curiosity, and while they were irritating at first, Patchy got used to their presence and even felt compelled to teach them a thing or two about magic in exchange for working around the mansion. You got dragged into the mess when several of the fairy maids up and quit recently, either out of fear of the residents or out of sheer boredom (or the brilliant logic that they felt safer outside than inside). Even you can't comprehend the fairies' logic.

>Type in:"What kind of game ?

Code: [Select]

Starbroker495 said: it's one of those online RPG things with lots of monsters and loot! Some of my friends are already playing it, I'm even thinking of starting up a guild!

>Go back to the kitchen and see if everything is done.

> You ponder Flan's message as you return to the kitchen. The first cake layer is getting the first layer of frosting, and the curries haven't caught on fire or exploded yet, so everything seems to be going swimmingly so far. What next?

> _

[Monarda]

No problem for me, i can wait, personal issues come first and i agree that you should solve them before updating.

>Has Flandre, Remilia or us even encountered our Yukkuri selfs :V ?
>Do we know what a RPG is ?
>Type: "I might try it later, i can't guarantee that i will keep playing it. Who are your friends in the game ? And what is the name of the game ?"
>Take another peek at Mukyuu and co. Patchouli, Monarda and familiars, how are they doing ?
>Throw the dice, see if we can get a high roll. (ROLL TO DODGE!!)
>Examine Patchouli and the others.
>Go back and verify cake and curry progress, while examining the Fairy Trio.
>Pet Meiling and her Yukkuri counterpart.

[Third Eye Lem]

...
I ran.
Out of.
MR. GENCY EXITS.

So let's update MarisaStory!

No problem for me, i can wait, personal issues come first and i agree that you should solve them before updating.

Do video game addictions count as personal issues? I think they're the biggest hurdle for me right now.

>Do we know what a RPG is ?

> Yes, though it took some coaching from Patchy and Flan to fully understand the differences between video RPGs (Final Fantasy), tabletop RPGs (Gamma World) and live-action RPGs (Wizard Quest). You know enough to get around the genre, at least.

>Type: "I might try it later, i can't guarantee that i will keep playing it. Who are your friends in the game ? And what is the name of the game ?"

Code: [Select]

Starbroker495: Tres bien! :D
Starbroker495: It's called "GUILDIES!" by the way.
Starbroker495: And yes, it's spelled exactly like that, lol.
Starbroker495: Anyways, Koishi and Nue are playing too, surely that's ok?


>Go back and verify cake and curry progress, while examining the Fairy Trio.

> The cake is still being constructed by Sunny and Luna, they just added the last layer. Star's still watching the curry like a hawk, she's even gone so far as to turn off the heat for the curries so they won't overcook. For a bunch of fairies, they're surprisingly competent, though you have a feeling your CONSTANT VIGILANCE is keeping them in line more than anything.

>Take another peek at Mukyuu and co. Patchouli, Monarda and familiars, how are they doing ?

> You tele-dash back to the library briefly to check in on the bookworms. Patchy and Monarda are hunched over the central table, looking over blueprints for a more robust magi-computer. Koa has since swept the remains of the previous computer away and disposed of them; Zakuro's still fast asleep.

>Has Flandre, Remilia or us even encountered our Yukkuri selfs ?

> Sadly, no. The species of yukkuri you resemble are quite rare, but you're glad they don't show up. You have enough to deal with as it is.

>Pet Meiling and her Yukkuri counterpart.

> You always did like playfully petting Meiling for a job well done while she's asleep...You can't help but blush at that adorable sight.
> Meiling-tyle Yukkuri on the other hand...Probably not, they're always wanting to roughhouse with others.

>Throw the dice, see if we can get a high roll. (ROLL TO DODGE!!)

> You throw the d20 onto the hardwood floor of the hallway, but it still rolls an 8. A grunting noise startles you a bit as you turn and see Zakuro waking up. "Did someone drop something...?" he says groggily, sitting up and rubbing the sleeping dust out of his eyes.

> _

[Monarda]

You made me get a desire to try Disgaea 3 again, if i remember correctly it's should be like Final Fantasy Tactics or something like that.

>What do we think of Nue and the buddhists ? And how about Koishi ?
>Maybe we should offer those four something, any desserts available for them ?
>Get surprised by how a explosion didn't wake Zakuro, but a dice did.
>Type:"Well that's an unorthodox name to say the least, but i will try it later ? Any other people playing i might know ?"
>We're a maid, we use knifes, therefore we shall be a Ninja Maid obviously !
>Go back to the kitchen to check again on the fairies, if they're ok, pet them and congratulate them on the good work.
>Experiment : Check chest for usual growths.
> Pet parser and give him some Smoke Bombs from FF, those guarantee a successful escape !