Spiffy DudsMenu Options: New Game, Continue, Extra, Options.
I don't have a save file, and Extra is greyed out, so obviously I can only pick New Game.
...Psych! Gotta adjust my options first! Fast Message Speed, always fastest message speed, I want to be able to read at a pace higher than fifth grade level, please!
Moving on, let's select New Game for right now. Let's see what the plot has fo-whoa, outfit select!
I can pick my character's hat! Oh wow, this is just like Team Fortress 2, This is the best game ever :V
Your character can equip Three items, a Hat, a Suit, and a pair of Shoes. There are three of each available in the beginning, But the shoes all look the same to me.
The First Hat and Suit are the Hunting Cap, and Denim Overalls. This is the art featured prominently on the box I posted above. From there, I can switch to either the Fashionable Cap, which is a much less muted red than the Hunting Cap, or I could switch to the Maintenance Cap, which is something you would expect to find on the skull of a person in an auto-repair shop. As for the Clothes, you have the Green Overalls, which is just a Green version of the Denim Overalls, and the Red Vest, which is - Holy crap, that is so freaking Spiffy. That's like, regal nobleman wear or something, yes.
I've decided on the Fashionable Cap and Red Vest. As I've already said, this is my choice, and you can't affect this decision in any way. Also, there would be no point, because as I've also already said, I can't actually take screenshots of my game, which means you'll only get the chance to see this:
Meet Maximilian
Pegasus The Main Protagonist of the Game. We hope you'll enjoy him, because he won't be seen quite yet.
Instead, we have a Princess, In desperate need of being saved. She's attacked by several Nobodies, and finds herself pinned up against the wall, next to a suit of Armor. One of them Lunges towards her, and she dive rolls out of the way, grabbing the no doubt easily breakable novelty sword that the Armor suit was holding.
TUTORIAL FIGHT, TUTORIAL FIGHT.Despite having a Sword that was made solely for the purpose of showing off, it has a very high Durability. The games tells you which buttons do what attack. X does Melee, L1+X does Magic, R1 allows you to block, and O focuses the camera on a single enemy. Naturally, I die, and am treated to a still image of a "Griffon Soldier" leaping over my body. Lightning flashes occasionally which causes the Soldier's shadow to shift position, which then slowly slides back to it's original position before lightning causes it to shift again. I admire their use of Shadows in the game, but this is a touch unrealistic.
Welp, that's it, I give up, this game sucks, topic over, everybody go home.
But seriously, I've learned the importance of blocking and dodging enemy attacks. Even on my Second try, I only made it through with 12 health left.
The Princess, whom you've guessed is other main character, Monica, barges into the King's Room, and Gasps. An Adult Man wearing a Cape is lying face down on the floor, while an Adult man wearing an Overcoat stands behind him, facing the other way.
Clearly, The King has bested Emperor Griffon in Hand to Hand Combat, and Monica is surprised and Happy to see that the war is finally over.
Wait a minute. You're a white haired pretty boy. You can't be allied with the Protagonist at all! You're not Monica's Father! Who are you?
Before Anyone can speak, however, He walks through a blue light, which I assume leads directly to an Orange light far off in the distance.
Monica, in a stunned trance drops her sword and walks forward. Then Fade to Loading screen.
"Dear Mother, how are you?
I'm doing fine.
So much has happened that I don't know where to start.
Well, I guess it's easiest to start at the beginning."
Except we started at the Climax of a fight that we so desperately lost, so as to hook the player into finding out more about our Sword and Magic Wielding Princess.
Max is caught in the middle of a heavy downpour, rushing through the streets. His Clothes and Hat are absolutely drenched and Ruined. Oh poor Max, if I had known this would happen, I wouldn't have forced you to wear your good clothes. I deeply apologize. He dashes into a Mechanic's Workshop, and tries to dry himself off. The Shop hand congratulates him on his timeliness, and Max chooses the opportunity to show off a Ticket he bought. Close inspection reveals a Large Man wearing a wide brim, Pointed hat, with a Ribbon on it. I applaud the kid's taste, as that is clearly a Ticket to see
the Black Mages in Concert. Revealing that he has his Father's Permission to go, he is encouraged to finish his work at the shop quickly. The Shop hand asks about the Pendant he was wearing, to which Max replies that he was recently given it by his Father the other day. "Always Wear It" He said. Obviously, This Pendant with a Giant Red Gem in the middle has no plot significance, and I dare wonder why they even bother putting effort into showing it off. I suppose it's to add realism to the discussion, because that would be something you ask to someone who's suddenly wearing a piece of jewelry that's bigger than their face. The Shop Hand tells me to work on the Vaccum found just down the stairs, and given player control, I head their. There's a Save point on the Stairs, so I make certain to do so, because I do not want to have to fight that Tutorial again.
There's a lot of stuff in the workshop, but according to the Red Exclamation point above Max's head, I can only interact with the work desk in which the Vacuum sits atop. Alas, it tells me that I need a repair tool before I can proceed, indicating that I have not yet explored the shop to the game's satisfaction. I then proceed to find a Wrench, a Notebook, and a bookshelf with important information that Max is too busy to read. But enough fooling around, I'm on Company time, and must make it to the concert tonight! I initiate the fixing process, which consists of a cutscene wear Max waves a screwdriver and Wrench around the device as a Child would wave a Fork and Knife around while impatiently waiting for dinner to be served.
The Scene Fades to a very colorful tent set in the middle of town. It pans down, and suddenly the face of the Man who was on the Ticket is shown on screen. Hey, wait a minute. That's not a Black Mage... That's a Clown! And the Tent! It's Bright and colorful! This- This isn't a Concert at all! This is a Circus! And it's going to be full of Clowns! This is even worse than the time I found out my father wasn't the winner of a One-on-One Melee Combat! Noooo!
The Owner of the Circus, Flotsam, orders his Clown Troupe to make this night a wonderful night. We then return to Max who fell asleep at the table next to a non-functioning alarm clock. He rushes up the stairs, and notes the Shop Hand is gone, rushing out to reach the Circus in time. He makes good time, and reaches the front in less than half a load screen later. In order to enter the Tent, you must speak to the clown, and enter the Menu to present the Ticket in your inventory. In doing so, however, Ed from Cowboy bebop runs through and snatches it run out of both Max's and The Clown's Hand. Max decides to give chase, rather than just giving the clown a look and going "Okay, you know I had a Ticket, you felt it, Can't you just let me in?" And so give Chase we shall. Speaking to NPCs reveals that the Boy ran in the direction that we saw them run. Circling the Tent once, and talking to each NPC, we finally find him hiding behind a cart. The boy dashes off, and Max Catches up to him, with a Tackle. The Boy apologizes, stating that he only wanted to see the Carnival just once. In responce, Max rewards him with the Carnival Ticket. The boy is elated at this prospect, and fails to thank Max. He runs off camera, and Max sighs, obviously releaved that our day is significantly clown free now. Suddenly, the Boy turns around to face Max. Everything except for the Spotlights focused on the both of them disappears, including the music.
"You passed.
You Might Be able to do it.
Hurry! The First Door is waiting for you."
The Boy then fades away into a blue light that resembles Navi. He drops the Ticket, which Max then picks up. Max, Obviously confused despite the generic reveal that it was a secret test of Character returns to the tent entrance, and I have to use the menu prompt to give the Clown a Ticket yet again. Max enters with no troubles.
Welcome to Flotsam's Amazing Circle! Watch an be amazed, as ... somebody juggles clowns. Max can't see very well, so he sneaks backstage to get a better look. it turns out to be a strongman who's juggling actual clowns. And Elephant appears, and holy crap, her breasts are huge. A Beachball appears in front of the Elephant, who promptly throws it into the air with her Trunk. The game focuses on her beaming red eye, which creeps me out. The Eye then Flashes, and She leaps into the air and perfectly executes the Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III. I'm not joking here. The Ball bounces off of two walls, and then She catches it in her trunk. This is then followed by an Acrobatics act featuring several Clowns to link together to make a swinging loop, and Boobs, who does a backflip through it.
Max watches in unbridled glee (You can see his eyes are sparkling) but he's interupted by a very rude person eating Roasted Chestnuts. Max goes to file a complain to the noisy neighbor when he suddenly realizes he's still backstage, and said noisy neighbor is the Circus Owner, Flotsam. He's currently interrogating the Mayor for a Stone found only within the town. The Mayor admits that he's turned the Mines upside down, but no such stone was found. This is Ironic, considering Mines are made entirely out of stone. Flotsam then Pimpslaps the Mayor with his Pimp Cane. He then Strangles and Kicks and Stomps on the Mayor. I'm starting to think I should not be liking this guy, The Mayor begs the Clown not to speak of what happened to the outside walls of the world to the people within the town. Political Conspiracy and Blackmail, it figures something was up. A Paintcan that wasn't there before drops, revealing that Max had been leaning over the edge of a raised balcony, staring directly at them. Realizing quickly that his cleaver hiding spot was found, Max makes a break for it. Flotsam then summons several clown who leap out of the boxes in the room, and orders tham to Chase Max, because apparently the Pendant that I sarcastically shrugged off earlier was, in fact, important, and the game isn't going to take the time and effort to pretend it isn't when it's the second thing you would notice about him (The first thing of course being that Max looks like a normal human being, which is something considering it's a Video game.)
This starts of a hilarious chase scene, accompanied with Music, Several Acrobatic Tricks that Max Suddenly demonstrates, Several clowns making fools of themselves as they try to relentlessly chase him, a falling Chandelier, and best of all, absolutely no stupid game ending quick time events that would have been haphazardly tossed in had this game been made within the past four years. After putting on a good show, everyone assumes it was an act, and Cheers, prompting him to wave to the crowd. This distracts him long enough to be surrounded by Clowns, thus prompting the second unavoidable battle of the game. Max pulls out his weapons and - oh, damn, a Wrench? His melee weapon is a Wrench? Oh, wow, this is the best thing ever.
I then proceed to die horribly.
Just kidding, they go down in three hits each and only do 2 damage to me.
Max holds the Wrench in the air, as the game tells me that having been stained with the blood of clowns, the Wrench is now a Battle Wrench. Max then runs for the exit, and gives a flying leap over the same crowd that was blocking his sight earlier. If he had just done that in the first place, he wouldn't be chased by clowns, now would he?
Max Runs out of the Tent, followed by four Clowns. Followed by a Clown Tank.
Fitting that Max's story begins by him writing a letter to his Mother, because if I were chased by a Clown Spider-leg tank, I'd be calling for my mommie, too. Max Climbs Poles, and rooftops to escape, but they persue vigilantly. The Clown Tank reaches him, and Flotsam makes the Demand for the Pendant. The young boy interupts via physic thought to remind Max that he should not be handing over the Pendant to anyone. More Acrobatics later, another Chase scene, an finally an actual Black Mage, with a Straw hat appears to help Max hide into the Sewers. Once the adreneline has gone down, Max takes the time to speak about how much fun he had despite this, and suddenly the opening credit sequence plays.
Donny, The dual class Black mage/Bro asks why the circus crew was chasing us. Surprisingly, despite the recent conversation where Flotsam makes a deal to leave Max alone if he would hand over the pendant, Max makes the assumption that it was because he was eavesdropping on his conference with the Mayor. The Game gives you a choice to save, or to continue the story, and I choose to save because I've just finished making dinner.
Donny Asks what exactly Max plans on doing, and he responds that he knows something has happened outside the city limits. The only ways out are either the Sewers, of the Train the leaves town. The Mayor keeps the Train locked up, and no one bothers going to the sewers except for Donny. When Max explains his plan to leave through the sewers, Donny, as part of his Bro subclass, runs off and fetches Max a Gun for him to use long ranged attacks with. It's used in the same way the Princess's Magic attack was. He also hands Max a Walkie-Talkie, so he could continue to provide tutorials from the safety of his tent. Max then ventures forth.
Chapter One: To The Outside WorldAnd we're off into Gameplay land. Before I stop typing and actually start having fun, Here's the gist of how dungeoneering works.
You have to get a map for each floor
There's a time limit to destroy all monsters in a floor, as well as two other special bonuses, one of which is unknown. You get Medals for completing these conditions.
you need a gate key to progress. In the Sewers, that Key is a crank handle, and you can find them on rats with their tails tied to sticks.
...Rats with thei-I'm fighting pre-made rat flails?
One spectacularly bad dungeon romp later, Max admits to himself (and by extension, us) that there is one other reason he wanted to see the Outside world. We join in on Max, eating dinner with his father, in an extensively huge mansion, with a comically huge feasting table with the two of them, alone, sitting on opposite ends. Max asks where dear Mother has gone, and his Father simply replies that she's busy doing work in a far away place. Max continued to prod, but the Father refuses to say anything specific, and Max runs off as a result. We learn from this exchange that Max not only loves the mother he's writing letters to right now, but also that She's probably dead. Still, Max clings to the hope.
